


Chasing Hearts

by deathcomealive



Category: Alkaline Trio (Band), Angels & Airwaves, Blink-182
Genre: AU, Adoption, Disabled Character (Injured Hand), Mom DeLonge, Multi, Recreational Drug Use, mentions of dead character, they drink a lot of coffee, transgender character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2018-08-14 07:38:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 40
Words: 189,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8004055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathcomealive/pseuds/deathcomealive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mark Hoppus has three teens to raise while he tries to not get fired from his job as a porn movie writer. Meanwhile he has to sit and watch his kids leave home one by one when facing problems of their own, he also has to deal with his best friend being a crazy UFO freak and his dreamy boss hitting on him all the time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. November 22nd, 2016

**Author's Note:**

> I have been working on this story since the beginning of last year, but with the turns and twists of life I stopped writing it after a couple of months (blink's second break-up to be more exact) and just left it unfinished, and when it was three or four months ago I picked it up again and a lot of it has changed since then (You might have seen the first two chapters or so on tumblr back then - Though the story has pratically been erased entirely but the first four chapters or so and started over). I am planning about 40 chapters or so? So I hope you guys enjoy it . You can find me on tumblr through deathcomealive if you wanna talk

Mark drives the kids back home in a silent ride from school, not much different than any other day when he's willing to go pick them up. It is quiet besides the punk station playing dimly on the background, Toni raises the volume when a song she likes comes up, and when it is gone, the volume is turns down again, just to a screeching noise in the back of their ears. He looks over to her as she shifts on the passenger seat, holding her guitar case against her knees.

“Dad, can we stop at McDonald’s to get a milkshake?” Paul asks from the back, fixing his sunglasses on his face

“Sorry kiddo, gotta go to a meeting in like, half an hour..." Mark shakes his head, opening and closing his left hand repeatedly “I can drop you two at the Starbucks near home though...”

“Sound good to me” Toni, from the passenger seat, speaks up.

“Yeah, I guess” Paul shrugs from the back "Milkshakes are better than Frappuccinos though"

“When is Tom coming back from Europe, by the way?” Toni says while typing something on her phone

“I don’t know..." Mark shrugs "Why?”

Toni smiles “He went to a Vampire Weekend concert! I wanna know how it was!”

“Really?” Paul asks “That sounds awesome”

“Yeah, he posted a picture backstage with Ezra and Rostam! Shit, it must’ve been amazing! And Ezra talked about his book on twitter, do you even know how big Ezra is on twitter?”

“Well, it’s been over a month, it shouldn’t be much longer at this point” Mark states and Toni looks out the window again “This is your stop…” Mark pulls the car closer to the curb when he sees the Starbucks of their neighborhood “Have fun” He says before the kids jump off the car and he drives away

“So…” Toni starts as the two of them walk into the store, she puts her hands inside her hoodie’s pockets and keeps the door open for her twin brother “What are you gonna order?” She asks

“Did you really break up with Shawn?” Paul asks, stopping by the doorway, looking his sister in the eye

"Wow, that was pretty straightfoward..." She frowns “How did you know about that?” 

“Rumors spread out quickly in that school” Paul tells her matter-of-factly “You know Dylan Howser says it’s because he kept hitting on you…”

“Ugh” Toni makes a disgusted face as they get into the line “Why are straight men so disgusting?”

“Oh why thank you” Paul says fixing his black rimmed glasses around his blue eyes, flipping his head to the side so his dark blonde hair would stay in place “That was really nice of you…”

“You know what I mean…” She rolls her eyes, walking further into the line 

“Welcome to Starbucks!” The cashier smiles as he looked at Toni. She grabbed her long brown hair shyly and Paul smiles back, waving at him.

“Hi Frank” Paul says and the boy nods. He is about the same height as Toni, maybe slightly shorter, he has soft jet black hair and really white teeth to go with his heart-shaped face and his delicate features, his skin pale, almost vampire-like "How are you?"

"Good!" Frank smiles as he types something into the register "What about you guys?"

"I have never seen you around here..." Toni points out "And I come here a lot, believe me"

"I..." Frank starts nervously, but somehow amused by the girl's curiosity "I actually started here this month"

"Yeah, Frank lives down the street at that wooden house that was abandoned until a few years ago, you remember that?" Paul explains "He's Megan's brother, remember Megan that used to sell brownies in that bike during the summer...?"

"Oh yeah! I haven't seen her in ages!" Toni exclaims "What happened?"

"She goes to boarding school" Frank explains and she nods back

"But I've never seen you around the neighborhood anyway..." 

"I'm not one to going out much..." Frank says “So… What is your order today?” He asks, taking Toni away from her imagination.

“Oh, a tall chocolate mocha Frappuccino, please” Toni adds quickly

“I’ll want the same” Paul says

“Great!” The boy says, writing Paul’s name down in a plastic cup with a permanent marker “And yours?” He wonders looking at Toni "You haven't said your name yet..."

“Benjamin Dover” She says and gives the boy a smirk, his only reaction is to smile at her and shake his head

“Of course, your highness” Frank says with a laugh and types something into his register, Toni just hands him her gift card and he swipes it, giving it back to her “Thank you” He says and she nods

“Thank you, Frank” She says and keeps on walking, Paul following her as they move to the bar and wait their order

“When will you stop doing that?” He asks from behind her, but she just shrugs

“When I feel like it” She shrugs and winks at her brother

***

Mark leaves for work; he is supposed to meet with a new producer in a few minutes. He arrives at the studio and gets out of his car, his feet leading him towards the office. As if it was purely natural.

He does not feel nervous anymore, well, there was only two phases in Mark's career in which he did feel nervous. The first when he started from the bottom and got his scripts shot down, and the second when his scripts started being too old, too conventional and _"too 90's!"_ , and started to be shot down again.

He was not the producer’s baby and pupil anymore; he was not their favorite no longer. Mark was just another one in the crowd, worse, he was that guy that everyone looked and said _"You used to be great"_ , and you know what they mean by the word _'used'_.

Welcome to the porn industry

"Mr. Hoppus, Mr. Skiba awaits you inside" The secretary tells him

“Amber, I told you to not call me that!” As if on cue the tall blonde man rushes out of the room “God, you wanna get fired again?” He says putting both hands on his hips

The petite white girl, Amber, shakes her head “No, sir, I wasn’t meani…”

“Good” The guy says and walks inside, closing the door behind him with a bang, Mark watches after him perplexed, until he comes back “God, I’m sorry, come in, Mr. Hoppus” He smiles at Mark, a fairly beautiful smile being shot at him.

Mark smirks awkwardly and gathers his stuff before walking into the office, closing the door behind him. He doesn't know if he gets happy or scared about it

“I’m sorry about that, I just like playing with her head” The man makes a scrawny face with a smile, Mark laughs nervously “Please sit, and call me Matt...” He moves to go sit on his own chair across the table.

Mark sits and places the papers on his own lap “I’m sorry, but… Hm, why do you do that?” He asks still confused

Matt fixes the thin tie on his neck and without hesitation, answers, “Well, because she treats my daughter like a stupid, dumb kid and apparently I can’t fire her for that, well, at least not twice, but it wasn't me who fired her first, so... So, I treat her like she’s a stupid, dumb kid too” He says and puts out a goofy smile for Mark at the end, he has to take a moment to process this and realize this guy is actually being serious

Mark nods, Matt smiles at him and Mark has to admit, not in a long time he has seen a man this strikingly beautiful, he wonders what the hell is this man doing here, in front of him and not using his beauty for some worthy purpose other than his old ass and porn movies. Shouldn't he be in front of the camera? And not behind some stupid script?

Matt has a black cap on his head, a white button down and a thin black tie. He has dark blonde hair that has a certain chestnut tone that isn’t that common to see around, Mark notices Matt’s thin lips and the way his fingertips would touch them as he looks at something on his computer, the curious and intricate tattoos creeping from the sleeves of his shirt that are slightly pulled up.

“Fair game” Mark nods to himself, trying not to think about his new boss like that anymore, he's had his fair share of relationships with people from work, he has learned to not mess with them

Matt laughs “Alright, so, It's nice to finally meet you, Mark" Matt extends his hand for Mark to shake and Mark takes it. Matt eyes Mark’s hand quickly, he doesn’t make a deal out of it, but Mark notices

“It’s nice to meet you too, Matt” Mark smiles and shakes his hand “You are curious about my hand, aren’t you?”

Matt sighs “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to lo…”

Mark chuckles “It’s okay” He interrupts Matt and raises it, showing his scars, his redness, the purple spots and the damaged skin, even if it's not as visible anymore. Mark could never say it out loud, but he secretly loves doing that, rubbing it on people’s faces, it strips them down to see what they don’t want “I injured it in a surfing accident when I was twenty two” Mark explains and Matt nods

“I’m sorry to hear that” Mark smiles sadly at his reaction

“Thank you” Mark shifts on his chair, looking down at his hand. Opening and closing the fingers in claw movements like he usually does, his pinky not moving at all like it hasn't for the last twenty two years. He looks around and takes a look at the pictures on the desk, he notices a set of two, one was a girl, about the age of five, wearing a pink dress and missing her front teeth, she had dark skin and wild, curly, dark hair. In the next one, it was Matt and the same girl in Disney World with Pooh and Tigger, the little girl smiling and Matt carrying her so she could reach her bear friend for a hug.

"That's my daughter by the way" Matt smiles when he sees what Mark was looking at

"She's really pretty" Mark smiles back "My daughter herself had the same dress. It was her mom's"

"Ah, we got that at a thrift shop a few years ago when we still lived in Chicago… And she's crazy about Winnie the Pooh so... Hence the other picture” Matt laughs "It was last year when we went to Disney World"

“You’re from Chicago?” Mark frowns “I would never guess that”

“I… I actually just moved here into the city” Matt explains “So, you have kids, huh?"

"Yes" Mark nods "Three actually, only one girl though"

"Wow! Three?!?” Matt asks surprised, resting back on his chair and Mark nods “Annie is my only kid. It should be hard being a full time writer and having that many kids, right? So I guess you're married?"

"Not really" 

"Divorced?" Matt raises an eyebrow

"Widowed" Mark smiles sadly, trying to hide it a little

"Oh! I'm sorry"

"It's okay, it's been six years already" Mark sighs "I miss her but I practically had to raise them by myself, you know?"

"It must have been tough"

"What about you?" Mark wonders

“Basically divorced” Matt answers with a sad smile “It’s kind of complicated…” He laughs, "Let's talk about the script?"

Mark sighs again "Sure"

"Mark, I… I can call you Mark, right?” Matt asks and Mark nods

“Of course”

“Mark, you have something really powerful in your hands, you have an amazing ability to write and to express what you want. You know your way into the story without making it go stiff. This is actually good stuff!"

Mark holds his breath tight as he waits for the "but"

"But!" He starts again and Mark drops his head low, he looks him and for once, Mark feels like, for once, a producer was genuinely upset for him "With the internet nobody rents movies anymore, this is too large and too outdated to be published online, when people look for quickies, and not to sentimental, not long enough and too hot to become an actual movie"

Mark sighs defeated "Thank you for being honest, some people just say no"

"I know that when writers get called it's 90% sure that they will have their scripts bought, but Mark, I called you here because I have friends in the industry as well and I need to tell you not to give up, okay? You need to find strength inside yourself to overcome everything else and start again!" Matt explains "I also thought I should call you so we could meet before starting to work together, you know?"

Mark nods, he smiles a little too sad "Thank you"

"I want to hear from you again, with something adapted, alright?"

Mark smirks. Did this guy just really give him a second chance?

***

Mark has a pleasant surprise when he sees a certain figure sitting on the hood of his old, beaten up Corolla '01 as he walks out of the building, a defeated look on his face, but then a smile right after. He opens in arms in a hugging gesture, as he gets closer

"Oh honey, did they turn you down again?" Audrey asks, tapping the place by her side for him to sit.

Mark jumps on the hood of the car and throws the script on her lap; she browses a little and hums a bit

"Hey! This is not bad!"

Mark looks at her. Audrey’s a porn actress in the same studio, they met once when she threw a fit because in something on his story, they fought, she quit, and then they were best friends all of the sudden. He smiles amazed at her.

"Yeah" Mark takes a cigarette out of his pocket and lights it up "It's just that it is 90's good apparently". Mark takes a deep drag of his cigarette before rolling his eyes

“Come on, Mark, it’s been over fifteen years, get over it” She laughs and he stares at her "Was it the new guy, is he your boss now?"

Mark nods "He seems nice, I don't understand what is he doing here though..." He says

"Is everything okay?" Audrey asks worriedly, she knows Mark hasn't been feeling the best of himself lately and she places a hand on his shoulder concernedly, rubbing circles with her thumb

"Audrey, the bills are getting tight, if I don't manage to come up with something very soon I am very fucked"

"You know I can always borrow you some money..." She sighs, pity in her voice

"Audrey listen to me:” Mark turns to her, making sure she’s listening to him “I am fucking 44 years old, you are 23. Twenty three. My oldest son is 21. I could be your _dad_ , don't ever tell me I can borrow money from you ever again" Mark takes another deep drag

"Oh I'm sorry Mr. Old Fuck" She withdraws her hand

"I'm sorry, but I just... I have three kids Audrey! One of them goes to college. The money you could borrow me would probably never be enough! And even if it is, what will happen next month? And the other?" He brags throwing his head back, "I have to save money for the college funds! I mean, there's food and clothing and the house I just... _Fuck_!" He says and hits on his own forehead "I am so stupid! There are tons of fourteen year olds writing this shit on the internet and I can't! I just _can't_!"

Audrey sighs for him "If they take over the world I lose my job too, Mark. Stop blaming them" She laughs and grabs his hand, his right hand "You wanna hear a proposal?"

"Yea, please?" Mark begs taking another deep drag

"He said your problem is with the internet porn, isn't it? Then let's watch tons of internet porn and notice what's up with them…”

“This doesn’t just apply to watch, does it?” He smirks letting out the smoke from his lips

She shrugs a little “Maybe, who knows”

Mark smiles "Okay" He shrugs "Will you help me?" Mark asks licking his lips and they jump off the hood, and he wraps an arm around her shoulders, waiting for an answer

Mark loves Audrey, really. I mean, she was a good for when he needed some action, and better, she listens! She talks! And she also gives advice! That is one amazing porn star!  
The fact that she's always stuck around intrigues him. She knows better than him, she is fucking gorgeous with her dark eyes, dark skin, curly messy slightly platined hair. She could be friends with anyone. _Anyone_. Instead, she always chooses him. She’s an independent black girl who deserves no stupid old man to hold her back. He thinks about it all the time but he knows that without her, he would be nothing in here.

She's not in for the money, for sure. Not because of sex or a job either because she's not exclusive to him, plus, she’s got her life on a tight hold, not seeming to let go anytime soon. Maybe it's because he makes her laugh, or whatever. At least he feels honored.

"I have to work now, see you later then?"

Mark gives her a kiss on the cheek and slap on the ass

"Go fake that fucking come for me, will ya?"

***

When Mark arrives at home, first thing he sees is Toni sitting at the curb, she is on her phone, puffing and shaking her head. Mark frowns as he gets out of the car and walks up to her

“No, Shawn, I don’t want to get back with you!” She shouts into the phone “I am not arguing about this anymore. My dad just got home, I’ll call you later” Toni hangs up, looking up at Mark and taking a deep breath “Hey dad” She says tiredly

“Who were you talking to?” Mark asks curiously

"Shawn" Toni answers simply

“You broke up with him?” Mark frowns

“Yeah” Toni shrugs “He was bothering me too much and honestly I don’t like him that much, it was not worth it. How was your interview?”

“It sucked” Mark answers “I met the new boss today”

“That’s half good, half not-so-good” Toni laughs, trying to break the ice “I believe...”

Mark laughs and shakes his head “It was okay, I guess” He throws his hands up

"There's a surprise inside, you know?" She smiles, telling simply

Mark frowns, a smile slowly creeping up his lips; he has got an idea of what it is "What is it?"

Toni smiles back "You _know_ what it is..."

Mark laughs and shakes his head; he walks up to the door and opens it abruptly. Trying to cause impact "Tom, you're _fina_...-" He starts yelling but he stops when he sees his best friend drooling on his couch.

Mark sighs and kicks the couch

"Wake up, you fat fuck!"

"Ah! What?!?" Tom wakes up disoriented "Mark?" He asks and Mark laughs _"Mark!"_ Tom jumps off the couch and wipes his mouth, taking the drool into his black long sleeved shirt, giving his friend a quick awkward hug right after “Sorry for the stain” He says pointing back to the couch and nervously fixing up the shirt on his frame.

Mark eyes him up and down, Tom’s hair is even shorter than before, he knows his friends usually lets it grow a little bit more now and then, but now doesn’t seem to be the case right now, and honestly, Mark likes it better short, it suits him better. Mark smiles at Tom’s messy brown hair, the little freckles around his wide nose and his grinning thin lips. Tom smiles as he looks at Mark and he sees a set of scars and marks Tom has on the left side of his chin and jaw, which have always drawn Mark’s attention by the little details of the face he’s been looking at for over twenty-four years.

Mark shakes his head as he looks up at his best friend getting up, still being as tall as ever, even taller than himself. "Woah, you look handsome on that shirt! Where did you get it?" Mark asks as he walks towards the kitchen with Tom at his heels

"Some random store in a little city somewhere in Germany?" Tom looks down at his chest, not sure, if it was there or elsewhere. Or was it just a random gift from that junkie that smoked pot with him in Amsterdam? Well, fuck it; he’ll never remember anyway "You like it?"

"Yeah, looks good on you" Mark takes two beers out of the fridge. Tom feels shivers

“So, how was Europe?!?" Mark asks excitedly after seeing his friend for the first time in a month, handing him one of the beers

"Oh! Fuck Mark! It was Amazing! So much fun!" Tom exclaims, "I saw so much stuff, talked to so many people! I have content for Strange Times for the next 3 months or even 4! Maybe even another book!”

Mark laughs "That's amazing, Tom! I'm glad you enjoyed it!"

Mark then remembers how he has refreshed Strange Times about three times a day on his phone since Tom left. The site has been updated like fire, since Tom and his other journalist had tons of content for it all the time since they were on a field trip just for it. Mark listens to Tom babble about how he wants to go to Australia next summer, get to know what the Aussies know about UFO’s and aliens or whatever else

He remembers, also, the books Tom used to read when they were younger, the documentaries he made them watch and that Mark never really paid attention. Mark can still see Tom sitting on the couch of his living room, excitedly watching Giant Aliens –And laughing his ass off in the meantime, of course- while he sat with Joe sucking on his formula in one of Tom’s sides and a very pregnant Elise sat on the other side.

Tom had always loved the subject like a kid of his, and since he didn’t have any, making them watch that stuff with him, or just listen to him talk about it was always like a play date for him.

"You should've come with me..." Tom then points out a little disappointed, taking a sip from his bottle

"Ah come on, Tom. You know I couldn't. With work and the kids, I just... I'm not a good situation to travel like this right now"

Tom nods "I understand"

"It must've been awful being there all by yourself" Mark counters

"I wasn't really by myself, you know that other journalist, Kaitlyn? The pretty petit blonde?" Tom asks as he points to his head, trying to show her hair

"Yeah" 

"She came and Jim was there as well... So I wasn't always alone"

"Jim?!? That guy we stumbled upon once at Wal-Mart?" Mark asks confused, digging into his memory and Tom nods

"Yeah"

"The one with that septum piercing and short brown hair? Tattoo on his neck?"

"The one and only" Tom sighs "Anyway, I got you something there..."

"Well, what is it?"

"Here" Tom says sheepishly as he leaves a black, thick velvet box on top of the table, it has the size and shape of a jewelry box or so. Mark stands on his place, frowning at Tom "Go on! Open it!"

Mark reaches for it, open at once. His jaw drops

"You like it?" Tom asks

"Oh my God, Tom!" He laughs "It's a fucking pen!" He says and raises the finest production, luxury pen up to his eyes "It's fucking gorgeous! Is this that DC collection?!?!?" He asks

"Yes! That's SuperMan..." Tom blushes a little

"Fuck! Tom! This must've costed you a fortune!"

"It's nothing for what you've done to me over the years. Plus, you know how the new book has been doing great" Tom laughs, with a shrug at the end "Just take the damn present!"

"Who the fuck said I wasn't going to?!?" Mark looks at it dreamily. He gets up and walks over to Tom to hug his friend "Thank you so much, I love it"

"You're welcome" Tom says and Mark tries to pull away but Tom keeps him close "I missed you, you bastard, let me hug you!"

Mark laughs and hugs Tom again

"Hey you two, move out, I'm hungry, please step away from the fridge" They hear a voice and Paul stands behind them. As they proceed to move they can hear the teen mumbling "Fucking homos always blocking the fucking food"

***

"Will you guys be okay?" Tom asks later at night when he and Mark are about to go out and grab some late night pizza, to catch up their talking.

Toni looks at him from the corner of her eye "How much pot did you smoke there?"

"Yeah Tom, we stayed alone multiple times, it's okay" Paul laughs as the twins enjoyed their presents on the empty dinner table “Cool! I got new sunglasses!” He yelps as he changes his old glasses for the new ones “Thanks Tom, I’ve been asking dad for a new pair for months!”

“You’re welcome, kid” Tom pats his shoulder

Tom had got Toni a Tardis mug. He gave her his Vampire Weekend ticket, backstage pass and some stickers he claims Ezra had given him himself; he also spent about an hour catching up with her and Paul on what he has seen in the foreign continent.

"Bye!" Mark says as they left and he and Tom walk out into the night

"So... How's Audrey?" Tom asks

"She's fine, you know?" Mark lights up a cigarette "Young, single, gorgeous... Fucking rich" He laughs “How is Sally?”

“Sally’s fine. She peed herself when she saw me like she always does” Tom laughs “The Neighbors took good care of her as they always do” He nods, looking down at his feet "And Joe? Any news from him?" Tom asks a little curious

"He's having fun, you know? Drinking, Partying, the same thing every kid does at college" Mark explains as he takes a drag.

"The same kind of stuff you did at college?" Tom asks and Mark laughs, remembering his failed college attempt

"Pretty much"

"And your script?"

"Doomed" Mark smiles and takes another drag before they cross yet another street "The last producer called me but he said he wanted me to come up with something brand new"

"Well, that's awesome!" Tom says but he gets no reaction from Mark "Isn't it?"

"Well, yeah!" Mark says a bit sad, gesturing his cigarette around, blowing the smoke through his nose. He feels a bit colder and buries his free hand on his hoodie’s pockets. Tom smiles a little to himself when he sees Mark’s nose turning red at the tip. He touched his, since he was much more blushable than his friend’s was

"It's just that... I don't know Tom, it's been so long since I haven't sold anything, this is getting so tiring" Mark lets it out

"You're not gonna give up, right?" Tom asks concerned

Mark shrugs "Maybe. I'm still going to try but if I don't make it, that's it. I'm done"

Tom sighs. He can't help but feel a little guilty. All over again.


	2. November 23rd, 2016

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to make it clear there won't be any scenes where the two Matts will be in the same room so don't worry about confusing the two of them. Matt W will be always with Tom or David...

Tom knocks on the door of an office at the Strange Times headquarters, he looks inside with his mug of coffee on his hand, he takes a sip off it and steps in.

“Look who it is!” Matt laughs as he sees Tom walking into the room “Our boss’s evil twin!” He says still laughing and David tags along from behind Matt.

Matt and David have been working for Tom for years and honestly, Tom doesn’t know what he would do without either of them, let alone two of them together. David is really tall, like, even taller than Tom himself, and Tom hasn’t met that many people that were taller than him. David is strong and well-built and he’s got tattoos all over him, though he could cover all of them up with a shirt if he wanted. David usually let his hair grow wild, and right now, it was reaching down to his shoulder and sometimes he would pull it up on a ponytail. Matt was a whole other thing on another hand, not that Matt was short or anything, but he looks like a midget when standing next to David and Tom, and that already says a lot. Matt has light blonde hair, almost white, he usually kept it short, but his bright blue eyes would strike over whatever other feature he has.

“Haha” Tom fakes a laughter “Very funny, but not really” He says as he walks up to the two men who work for him “How was these past thirty days without me?”

“Bearable” David sighs and turns around, looking at Tom “Kaytlyn brought in your footage last night, today is her day off so Matt and Jared are taking a look at it”

“Looks good so far” Matt steps into the conversation, getting up “I need coffee” he says “You want some more? David made us some this morning” He asks Tom and he nods, handing Matt his mug

“Please” He says and Matt nods

“Nice to have you back, Tom” He gives his boss a fist bump with his free hand before leaving

“Nice to be back with you weirdos” Tom laughs and looks at Matt leaving the room, when he turns back, David is right behind him and Tom jumps back a little, David being even taller than him and scaring Tom. David shooshes Tom’s little yelp and closes the door as soon as Matt leaves “David, what the fuck?” Tom asks confused

“We need to talk” David takes Tom by the arm and drags him by his and Matt’s working corner, making Tom sits on Matt’s seat across from David.

“Okay” Tom watches David sit back on his own chair “What is going on?”

“Matt and I are living together” David waits for Tom’s reaction, who just frowns and looks at David. Tom blinks quite a number of times and opens his mouth, he closes it and thinks a bit more, opening it again

“Hm, what?” Tom asks, still confused

“Not like, _living_ living together” David rolls his eyes “His girlfriend broke up with him while you were away...”

“What?!?” Tom asks a bit more surprised now, David nods and Tom sits back, still in shock “God, right before I left he said he was thinking about proposing to her!”

“I know, right!?” David says “She just kicked him out of the house and he had nowhere to go so he came to my house, and honestly the vibe is so good we decided he was going to stay… It gets lonely sometimes over there, you know?” David asks and Tom nods

“I know what you mean” He says and takes a deep breath

“I just wanted to let you know before you hear from someone else… But if Matt tells you, please act surprised!”

“Of course” Tom laughs and like fate Matt comes into the room again, with two mugs of coffee, handing one to Tom

“Thanks” Tom takes it and David turns back to his table, facing the window. “Actually I was wondering…” Tom starts “Since I just got back I wanted to know if you guys would like to come over tonight, and like get high and play video games, what about that?

“Well, as tempting as that sounds tomorrow is Saturday and I have an important motorcycle race, I need to sleep and get the baby ready…” David says “I’m sorry”

“Oh, that’s okay” Tom shrugs and looks over to Matt, waiting an answer from him

“I just really don’t wanna go” Matt gives Tom an apologetic smile, his boss only rolls his eyes at him

“Of course” Tom puffs out

“Hm, so…” Matt starts, looking over back at Tom “You wanna take a look at what Jared has worked on the footage so far?”

“Sure!” Tom smiles and gets up

“Let’s go then” Matt says and Tom follows him out of the office as David slightly turns his head to see them leaving.

***

Mark laughs, cigarette on his hand “You’re fucking funny” He tells Audrey as she turns to lay on her side on the bed, the white cold sheets covering her naked frame.

“So now I am the funny one?” She wonders amused

“I am still the king though” Mark says before taking a drag, placing a hand on his dark hair and pulling his bangs over his face, laughing yet again “Soo…” He starts “This is what happens when you’re not faking it, huh?”

It’s Audrey’s turn to laugh, she runs a hand on her messed up curls and looks at him “What makes you think I don’t get excited at work, huh?”

“Oh come on!” Mark throws up a hand, feeling a cold wind on his bare chest that was only partially covered by the sheet “You really feel hard for the mustache guy?”

Audrey giggles “No…” She says shaking her head. She brings herself closer to Mark and with her finger she traces a pattern on his chest before leaning in and whispering into his ear “But I do know what makes me hard” Audrey whispered and bit on his earlobe

“Aw yeah?” Mark asks curious, a smirk on his lips before he puts out his cigarette in the ashtray. He looks at her, his blue eyes sparkling as he looks at her dark eyes, looking for fun “Why don’t you show me then?”

Audrey smirks with a bite of her lip and reaches her hand under the sheets.

***

_“We have to take our clothes off!”_

_“We have to partyyyy, all night!”_

_“I couldn’t help to notice how alone you a-”_

“What the fuck?!?” Mark yells out loud as he walks into the house and Toni suddenly drops the microphone on the floor

“Dad?!?” She asks surprised, a cigarette on her hand

“Dad!! What’s up?!?” Paul asks a little out of himself, laughing even, a half empty bottle of vodka on his hand.

“What the fuck is this?!? What are you doing?!?” Mark asks entering the house, muting the loud music “I leave for three hours and you all turn into this mess?!?”

“Heyyy, what happened to the music?!? I love gymnasium grass tacos! Come on!” Tom grumbles as he stumbles down the stairs, missing the last step “Ops! I’m okay, I’m fine, just please check if McCoy is please” He says out of his mind and he starts laughing about it

“What the actual heck, Tom?!? You gave drinks to my kids???” Mark asks half-annoyed and half-trying to hold himself from laughing. So typical of Tom, though Mark never pictured he would really do this one day

Disappointed, but not surprised.

“I did and I have a reason I jus… Toni!” He pulls out the cigarette hanging from her lips

“Hey!” She protests

“This is fucking disgusting and I want you to quit right now!” He yells at her, showing the stick right in front of her eyes, then he suddenly turns to Mark “Can you believe it?” He asks and takes a drag, but halfway through he stops “Fuck! I don’t even smoke! Here!” Tom shoves the stick into Mark’s mouth before walking into the kitchen “I’m fucking starving!”

Mark watches him paralyzed, but when he smells the stick, he just shrugs and takes it, pulling out a drag. Mark walks up to Paul and takes the bottle away from him “Go to sleep, my man” He holds his son a little “I’m sorry for what’s to come”

“Shut up, dad” Paul hurries upstairs

“Love you too!” Mark yells after him, his daughter approaching him “And you little lady”

Toni smiles. Hm, little lady.

“We’ll talk about this in the morning” He raises the cigarette towards her before taking a drag, ruffling her fringe a little “I love you, kid, did you know that?”

“Really?” She asks, rubbing her arm on top of her hoodie. Mark hugs her

“You don’t need smoking, okay? It was an awful habit I picked up when I was younger”

“Before or after your band broke up?” She asks

Mark sighs, looking out to the kitchen, longing for Tom.

“Before” He answers sadly “Anyway, no need to think it’s cool or anything…” He shrugs, pulling away “I’m just a decadent porn writer with no aspirations to sell a story so soon… I’m no cool”

“And who said it was about you?” She asks putting her hands inside her hoodie pockets

“Good point” Mark points the cigarette at her, before taking another drag

“Why don’t you just give me the cigarette back and we will forget this all ever happened?”

Mark laughs “No”

Toni shrugs “Meh, it was worth the shot” she says and goes upstairs to her bedroom.

Mark puts out his cigarette on his ashtray by the couch and walks up to the kitchen; he leans on the door frame and winces as he watches Tom drop a pan

“Shh!” Tom turns to him “Stop being so awkward, Mark. God!” He says stumbling over “I’m only here because Matt and David stood me up tonight”

“So you decided to come trash both my house and my kids?” Mark asks perplexed with a laugh

“Sure” Tom shrugged

Mark laughs again “You’re still the same over twenty four years after” He says and sits on the table "Though I should warn you that getting my kids drunk is still illegal, alright?" He asks, but Tom seems to try to ignore him "I don't mind, we can talk about this in the morning anyway" Mark sighs as he watches Tom drip the pancake cream into the pan, a pile of them already standing on the table “Did you really do this in five minutes?”

“No!” Tom answers with his voice still a little bit slurry “I had done them before going upstairs, my phone was charging in your room”

“Hm…” Mark frowns “There are plugs down here, there’s a plug right on the side of the stove!”

“Yeah” Tom just laughs and Mark just rolls his eyes

“If I didn’t know you any better I would say you’re high” Mark takes out another cigarrete from his pocket

“Yeah” Tom laughs again

“Yup, you’re high” Mark sighs, letting out the drag as Tom finishes what seems to be his last pancake “Did you just come to my house to get high?”

“Yeah” Tom laughs and this time it actually sounds like a believable answer. He gives some to Mark and takes some to himself, and after they're done, Tom scans the fridge for more food

“Please tell you didn’t give it to my kids” Mark wonders

“No, that I didn’t do, I just gave them drinks. Had to get them altered so they wouldn't notice me being altered, you know?” Tom answers in a more serious tone, he then closes the fridge and looks over to Mark, searching for eye contact "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done this..."

"We'll talk about this in the morning, okay?" Mark asks and Tom nods "I'm sorry your friends stood you up"

"Fuck 'em" Tom grumps and Mark gets up, wrapping an arm around Tom’s shoulder “Wanna crash here, buddy?” Mark asks as he beholds his friend “I can’t let you go back like this”

“Yeah, sure” Tom smiles and then follows Mark into the hallway and to his bedroom

As the two boys walk into the older one’s room, Tom let his eyes wander through the pictures on Mark’s wall. He immediately spots one in which he and Mark hug each other side by side, Mark was twenty and Tom was sixteen when it was taken. Tom looked at Mark with dreamy eyes and it would make him smile happily if it didn’t bring him so many bad memories.

Mark sees Tom tense up a little. He walks up to him and looks at the picture.

“Mark?” Tom calls him

“Yeah?” Mark answers

“You ever miss me?” Tom gulps

Marks looks down, he knows where this is going. But he decides to play the innocent man “What are you talking about?”

“You know” Tom says sadly “You miss me, _really_ miss me?”

He avoids looking at Mark

“You know how I feel about you, Tom” Mark rubs Tom’s shoulder; Tom knows it’s just empty words “What we had together means a lot to me, you know that...”

Tom takes a deep breath “I need another joint” He turns away, opening the first drawer to Mark's nightstand

“Help yourself, buddy” Mark laughs a little “Just don’t try to eat me”

“No need to, your mom’s waiting me to eat her out in the other room” Tom adds sarcastically and Mark laughs again, this time a little more tired as he sits on the bed and reaches to where Mark keeps lube, condoms, sex toys in general, mini bottles of alcohol, some money, his passport, cigarettes and of course, his stash. He takes an already rolled joing and lights it, resting his back on the headboard of the bed as he closes his eyes tight as he takes can while taking a drag "What happened to your bong, I couldn't find it..."

"I haven't seen it in a few weeks, I'm starting to think that Toni stole it..." Mark ponders a little in his mind

Tom nods and gets up, looking for clothes on Mark's wardrobe. Tom doesn’t care for Mark as he jumps out of his clothes and lets himself be dressed him some of Mark’s so they could sleep. Tom usually liked to sleep naked but with Mark around he was always a bit held back and always forced himself to wear a shirt and a pair of pajama pants. While Mark lets himself sleep in his usual attire, only boxers and a T-shirt.

They both lay in bed and let the silence fall a little into the dark, only the lights from the street coming inside. Tom twitches.

“If you don’t miss me” He starts, Mark doesn’t look at him “Do you at least miss blink?”

Mark sighs and smiles a little to himself “More than anything”

Tom feels his guts scrunching up a little, flashes from the day it all ended flash through his mind. His board floating away, Mark’s bleeding hand, Mark’s unconscious self on the water. He swallows the big lump on his throat. Tom feels Mark reaching for his hand, caressing it.

He looks at his friend, a friendly look on his face, a smile on his lips, telling him everything was okay, it was all okay now.

Tom looks into his deep blue eyes closing a little already from tiredness, Mark rubs his eyes with the back of his hand and yawns.

“You know...” Tom starts “We should all just move to fucking Europe, I mean” He lets out the smoke as he talks “We would all smoke amazing pot and you would probably get your sassy back just by spending four seconds there”

Mark doesn’t answer, instead he just stares up at the ceiling with glassy eyes. Why does Tom even sleeps on the same bed as he? Mark notices it was a habit they picked up a few years after his wife passed away, Mark frowns to himself

“Mark?” Tom calls him into the dark

Mark looks up at Tom, the lights from the streets making him see the outlines of his friend’s face “Yes, Tommy?”

Tom takes a deep breath, before taking another deep drag; he breathes it in and leans towards Mark. Mark watches him paralyzed, it’s almost a dream and Tom kisses him, right on the lips, feeling them patiently, like he always dreams of. All over again. He takes in Mark’s bottom lip between his and pokes the tip of his tongue inside, feeling Mark’s tongue against his.

Mark is too tired to do anything, too paralyzed to kiss him back and enjoying it too much to even say anything. He only opens his mouth for Tom to let the sweet smoke into his mouth, slowly blowing it into his mouth. Tom pulls away, he looks at Mark, who is taking a deep breath, feeling the smoke on his lungs and then breathing it out through his nose. Mark whines contently and opens his eyes, looking at Tom "That was really hot" Mark chuckles to himself, but Tom's expression doesn't change, instead, he just sees his friend gulping dryly "What?" Mark asks with a smile, and without thinking twice, Tom takes another drag from his joint and kisses Mark again, he places both hands on Mark’s face, urging him to kiss him back.

Mark twitches and he opens his mouth a little more for Tom, whining a little into the kiss, Tom moves even closer and Mark pulls away, taking Tom’s joint and taking a drag himself. Tom smiles and Mark sits up a little bit more, propping himself on his elbows, kissing Tom again. He just wants to feel those lips on his, that tongue caressing him, he wants to hear the noises their kisses make, he wants to hear the noises Tom is able to make.

Tom moans into Mark’s mouth painfully, as if this is taking a lot of effort off him. Mark places the joint on the ashtray by his side and pulls Tom towards him as he lies down on the bed, bringing Tom to be on top of him. Tom reaches his hand and places it on Mark’s crotch, the older man moans into his mouth, he knows they shouldn’t be doing this.  
Tom keeps kissing him as he pulls on the elastic waistband of his boxer briefs and reaches inside Mark’s pants, wrapping a hand around his dick. Tom pulls back and sees Mark beneath him with hollow cheeks, red skin, taking deep breaths, trying to concentrate on himself as he doesn’t go crazy with emotions and feelings. Tom starts stroking him and Mark moans again _“Oh God”_ Mark breathes out, enjoying every second of Tom’s touch.

 _“You like it?”_ Tom asks, leaning into Mark’s ear, whispering to him and leaving a kiss on the older man’s cheek. Mark nods slightly and turns his face closer to Tom, brushing their noses together, his eyes closed as Tom stares at him in amazement “Of course you do” Tom whispers again, but more to himself than to the man lying down on his side, under his touch and lips parted with hitched breathing, light, pained moans as he tries to focus on everything that was happening

Tom pulls back and looks at Mark; he can’t see his friend's bright blue eyes behind his eyelids, that are closed with pleasure. Mark’s black hair was stuck to his forehead and Tom had never seen Mark’s hair being that beautiful, since Mark had used spiky hair his entire life, changing to a more soft haircut in the past two years or so… Mark’s full lips are open, letting out whines and small moans. He suddenly frowns to himself, shaking his head, as if he was waking from something. Mark puts a hand on top of Tom’s to make it go away “Please stop” He says pleading.

Tom looks at him dumbfounded

“I don’t wanna get carried away” Mark says with his eyes closed. Tom pulls away and looks down, disappointed “I’m sorry” Mark voices out and Tom sighs disappointed

“It’s alright” He nods and shakes his head, not really meaning what he says, cause all he wants is to kiss Mark, that is _all_ he wanted right now.

"You're high, you are gonna regret this, Tom. I don't wanna do it" Mark says "I know how you feel when you mix weed and sex..."

Tom sighs again, he knows Mark is right "I know" He says sadly, Tom then pulls the blanket that’s folded on the foot of the bed and opens it, bringing it over Mark and tucking him in. Tom makes himself another joint and smokes a little bit more as he sits on the bed.

When he’s done, Tom leans over Mark, who seems to be sleeping, he gives his friend a kiss on the forehead. Mark opens his eyes a little and brings out his left hand, cupping Tom’s cheek, caressing it with his thumb. Tom just watches him fascinated; he takes the last piece of his joint and places it on Mark’s lips, who takes a deep drag. Tom turns to put it out and he lies down beside Mark, facing him


	3. November 24th, 2016

Toni passes by the bathroom, the door ripped open as she sees Paul sitting in front of the toilet, vomiting his guts out.

 _“Well, well, well”_ She leans into the doorframe “Look who’s having their first hangover”

“Shut up!” Paul sneers at her, pulling his dark blonde hair back, his jaw, square as ever, and leaning on the toilet…

“Psst, you’re such a child you can’t even curse” Toni laughs “Oh man, it’s the worst” She flips the mail she had just picked from downstairs on her hands “On my first hangover, I don’t know what happened to me that I started pulling down the posters of my wall, like, ripping them off, as if it was a normal thing...” Toni explains shrugging “And I also apparently laughed as I did so according to Joe”

“Are you always still drunk on your hangovers?” Paul wonders as she walks closer to him

“That’s how you never feel bad, buddy” She pats his sweaty hair

“Aren’t you a little too young to be a junkie?” Paul shoots back but Toni just rolls her eyes “What have you got there anyway?”

Toni smiles “Our first college results” She says and raises two envelopes on the air

“Already?”

“Yeah, I signed you up” Toni shrugs

“How did you do for a letter?” Paul frowns

“I wrote it” She says and Paul sighs, he cleans his hands quickly

“You know that’s wrong, right?” Paul asks and Toni shrugs

“Fuck it” Toni happily hands him his envelope as she sits by his side on the floor “Ready?” Toni asks him with a bright smile and he nods

“One, two…”

“Three!” They say in unison and rip open the envelopes in one quick motion

 _“Dear Mister/Miss Hoppus,_  
_Even with the full inscription and all files delivered on time and in the right condition and in its full completion, we are very sad to inform you that your efforts weren’t as promising as some of your other fellow competitors._  
_You can still run back with a lawyer for an argument, just see deadlines and talk to one of our executives”_

“Bullshit!” Toni yells angrily “They turned me down!”

“Me too!” Paul replies pissed “What kind of college is this? Aparently they didn’t even bother to make a different draft for Mister and Miss, then what? Not even my first name is there!”

“Oh” Toni frowns “That’s okay, there are still tons of other colleges, this ain’t going to be the last”

“Sure” Paul dismisses the letter away "Are you doing anything after class today?"

Toni shakes her head "I'm not going to class"

"Why not? I'm not gonna die if I'm alone, you know that right?"

"Yeah, but I will die if I watch any classes right now so thank you for being so hangover" Toni laughs and Paul rolls his eyes

“Anyway... So are you planning on doing anything today?” He asks

“Hm” Toni starts, she gets up and looks at herself in the mirror, she sighs to herself, she can’t bring herself to admit this, but there are days that she looks more and more like her mom. The mom she let down a long time ago. Toni plays with her long brown hair, a burnt shade to it, just like her mom’s hair color, she had her mom’s dark blue and green eyes, not her dad’s light baby blue… She had the same scar across the bridge of her nose from playing soccer with her older brother Joe, and her mom had the same scar from falling over a couch as a kid. The thick-ish lips and the small but roundy nose, the pale white skin and the tiny ears and long lashes, the half white and half Latina girl, just like her mom… Toni sighs, she hates it, she hates the fact that she has to wake up every morning and see her mom staring back at her. She hates that her mom has to be the face of someone who let down so hard the way that Toni did.

“Gonna bleach my hair” She says casually, trying to not let Paul see her pain

“What?!?” Paul asks surprised “You can’t do that”

“Well” She gets up “Just watch me” Toni leans down and starts pulling the contents out of under the sink.

“You’re really doing this?” Paul asks getting up

“Yup”

“Can I help?!?” Paul asks excitedly

Toni smiles surprised “Catch” She says as she throws him a bottle of peroxide.

***

Mark wakes up alone in his bed, he tries to remember what happened the night before and guilt washes over him. Does Tom even remember what they did? Does Tom even know what happened? Probably not, he could even be home by now as far as Mark is concerned.

Mark gets up and washes his face before putting on a shirt and walking to the kitchen. By the time he gets there, he sees Tom sitting on the table, happily talking and laughing as he speaks on the phone, Tom has a hand on his neck and his head leaning against the phone as he smiles. Mark stares from the doorway and Tom looks at him.

“Hey Mark, how are you?” Tom says looking at him, suddenly surprised and changing the tone of his voice “Had a good night?” He asks after cleaning his throat with a few grunts

“Yeah, sure” Mark answers a bit confused “Who are you talking to?”

“Just a second” He tells Mark and turns back to the phone, Tom quickly presses the phone harder to his ear “I’ll call you back later, okay? Yeah, you can text me what happened, sure. Alright, bye bye” He says happily and waits for the other person to finish their goodbyes and he hangs up. Tom places the phone on top of the table and smiles at it. Mark coughs, getting his attention again “Oh” Tom says turning back to him

God, Mark hopes that Tom doesn’t remember what happened

“Was it you who made the coffee?” Mark asks as he walks up to the coffee machine, his back to Tom, who is still on the table

“No, it was Toni; she had just made it when I came around. She also made me the cereal”

Mark sighs as he pours himself a cup and watches as Tom continues to drink his coffee patiently. Tom checks his phone every once in a while, but doesn’t keep talking like he usually does, Mark grows tense somehow. Is this awkward? Does he want this to be awkward? Does he want Tom to know he’s thinking that he’s thinking it too? He shakes his head

"So..." Mark says, being a little bit awkward "Was that a new boyfriend or something?" He asks quietly and Tom suddenly looks up at him

"What?" Tom shakes his head "No, I..."

"Tom, I know you" Mark rolls his eyes "Is it?"

"Not really" Tom runs a hand through his hair, really missing his hat right now "It doesn't matter" He shakes his head again "It's not a boyfriend anyway"

"Okay" Mark nods before they see Toni going outside and then running quickly into the house with the mail in her hands, hurrying upstairs “That’s either porn fanfiction, concert tickets or fucking band shirts, I swear to God” Mark sighs “Raising a teenager is expansive, let alone three of them”

“At least she doesn’t have to pay for the porn other people pay for you to do...” Tom laughs a little, breaking the ice that had been created before and Mark gives him a look

“Well, say goodbye because probably I won’t be writing porn anymore, it’s a dead industry for me…”

“Hey, you promised you’d try! Didn’t you?!?” Tom counters

“Yeah, but still, my hopes are very little, Tom” Mark remarks, drinking from his cup “I am losing way to younger people”

Tom sighs “Hey, hm, weren’t you writing a novel?” He asks and Mark frowns

“Like two years ago but I just abandoned it…” Mark explains “Couldn’t go through with it…” He says and shrugs “So…” Mark starts again “How’s Strange Times doing?” He says rubbing his neck, trying to change subjects and yet make Tom say something

“Oh Mark! This week we’re going to make a video discussion on the Churchill files, you know? All that secret shit from plane trips and stuff… We got a lot of stuff from it from  
when we were in London, we interviewed some people, it should be fucking awesome… We’re hoping to get the highest audience ever” Tom shrieks excitedly. If there’s anything Tom won’t ever let pass by without a long talk about it, is his job.

“And the new book?” Mark asks

“Still on the beginning, but just as awesome as the other two” Tom nods

Mark is wearing a hoodie; he’s always with a fucking hoodie, he smiles, happy for his friend and leans his head on his hand and his elbow on the table. He suddenly feels the pressure “Ow, shit” He complains to himself, opening and closing his hand in repeated movements

“Is everything okay” Tom worries

“Yeah, just my wound, I… It’s okay, I swear” Mark says shrugging it off, he does not want Tom to feel bad but he sees the sad smile on his face, he doesn’t want to mention it twice over a single cup of coffee “You’re going home already?”

Tom nods, looking at the clock on the wall behind Mark’s head “I should, Sally must be going insane at this point…” Tom says “Gotta go back to my girlfriend” He says and Mark chuckles

“Come on, I’ll drop you home, I have some stuff to do at Audrey’s…” Mark says and takes a long look at Tom, remembering what he did to him last night “I just need to take a shower first, is that okay?”

Does Tom even remember? He was too into it not to, but still, Mark knows how hammered Tom was at that point. He shakes his head, promising himself to not think about it until he’s at Audrey’s.

“Sure” Tom says getting up and they both head upstairs.

Mark sighs, he doesn’t seem to remember, really.

They pass by the hallway and see Toni and Paul inside the bathroom, pouring some liquid, gooey thing on her head

Both Mark and Tom stop by the frame

“What are you doing?” Tom asks

Toni purses her lips

“Bleaching her hair” Paul says in monotone

The four of them stand in awkward silence

“Cool” Mark says and walks away

***

Mark knocks on the door, being answered by a very pretty, very only-in-her-bra-and-panties Audrey.

“Look who it is” She says amused “What an expected surprise”

Mark laughs, throwing his charm at her “Can I come in?”

She smiles and makes way for him to come in “Make yourself at home” Audrey says closing the door and Mark sits on the couch.

“Audrey, I’m here for something actually” He sighs and she laughs

“Mark, we both know why you’re here” Audrey gives him a look, he sees want in her eyes and he can’t help but smile a little at her wanting him.

“It’s not that” He tries to explain but she’s already placing her knees on his sides while sitting on his lap “Hm, I… I need help with my story; remember you were supposed to help me?”

She smiles “This is already help” Audrey says and takes his hand, placing it on top of her boob, still with her blue bra on. He looks at her and raises an eyebrow; she rolls her eyes and takes his other hand, placing it on the back of her bra.

Mark opens her bra without hesitation, but she holds it with her other hand on the boob his hand is not on.

“Not so fast, young man” She shakes her head “This is not only about you. I teased you, now it’s your turn”

“Yeah?” He asks with lust already on his eyes, on his lips, on his mind and heart, his veins, his entire body. She knew her way into him way too well. Audrey nods and Mark keeps his hand on her boob, the other one he moves to the back of her head, kissing her neck

“That’s what I’m talking about, big boy” She says and let’s go of her bra, Mark throws it away, still kissing her neck and starting to tease her nipples “Fuck!”

***

Toni puts on the MacBeth cap Tom got her when she was ten. She walks out of the house and Paul is at her heels “I don’t think I feel too good for Starbucks right now” He says, putting a hand on top of his belly

“You can get a croissant” Toni shrugs

“You just want to show your new hair off, I know you” Paul grumbles

“Fuck off” Toni snaps. They keep walking down the street for another two blocks until they reach the Starbucks. The two of them walk in and get into the line, Toni smiles when she sees that Frank is at the register again, when it’s their time the boy just sighs and smiles at Toni

“Hello there, Benjamin” He laughs “Welcome to Starbucks, what is your order today?”

“A tall Hazelnut Chai” Toni smiles “And he’ll want just a croissant, actually make that two…” She says pulling out her gift card

Frank grabs an empty cup from the counter and grabs his pen “What is your name?”

“Mr. Sackrider” Toni smirks

“Is that together or separate?” Frank asks unimpressed

“Together, I don’t trust people with two last names” She says and Frank laughs, smiling at her

“That sounds about right” He says taking her card to swipe on his register “I like your new hair, by the way” He says and smiles at her again, and she grabs a piece of her hair in her finger, twirling it between them

“Oh” She says looking at her strings “Thank you” She smiles and Frank nods

“You’re welcome” He says and gives her card back. Toni and Paul walk away to the bar and Paul reaches up from behind her

“What the fuck was that?” He asks

“What?”

“You were totally flirting with him!”

“No, I was not!” Toni protests “You were!”

Paul looks at her annoyed, squinting his eyes “You are a hypocrite”

“Well, and you… You are a __slut_ …” _Toni says and looks away

Paul rolls his eyes and sighs “You say it like it’s a bad thing”

Toni laughs

***

“So…” Audrey starts as she pulls her hair into a bun, about three hours after Mark had arrived at her house. They had sex, took a shower together and ate a little before she let him sit in front of her computer to try to write something “Is anything coming out?” She asks as she playfully pushes Mark’s glasses up his nose with her finger, she loves to see Mark with those glasses

“Yeah, I guess” Mark shrugs, typing into the keyboard “Ouch!” He suddenly winces

“What’s wrong?” Audrey asked worried

“It’s just… I don’t know, my hand is hurting a little since I woke up” He explains holding his left hand in his right one, doing a few exercises to see if it goes back to normal, he sighs to himself and shakes his head.

“You know that if nothing comes out of this I will be very offended, don’t you?”

Mark laughs “What?” He asks turning to her, still holding his hand

“Yeah! I am a fucking awesome actress; you should always thank me for this”

“Oh! So you’re saying this was all an acting?” He asks with a smile

“Come on! You have a fucking old ball sack, I would never lick that out of character” Audrey laughs

“And who do you play?” Mark asks as he brings his chair back a little and pulls her into his lap

Audrey giggles as he pulls her, he’s got his glasses on and that makes him 100x more sexy on her eyes

 _ _“Your mom”_ _ She whispers giggling into his ear and he gets up, shoving her out of the room as she laughs

“Fuck off!” He yells laughing and closes the door when she’s out.

***

“GET OUT OF THE WAY CHLOE, HOLY SHIT!”

Paul sits at the living room, playing his video game in a loud volume, yelling over it

“FUCK NATE JUST GRAB THE FUCKING LADDER!”

“Hey, what's up?!?” Toni asks running down the stairs, surprising her brother

“AHHHH!”

“AHH WHAT HAPPENED!!??!!”

“FUCKING HELICOPTER CAME OUT OF NOWHERE!!!!”

“PAUL STOP YELLING!!”

“What’s up kids!?! I’m home!!”

Paul and Toni suddenly paralyze. Joe laughs.

"What are you doing here?" Toni asks as she walks closer, Joe opens his mouth but Toni interrupts him “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Did something happen? Did you get an STD? God, Joe! Did you get a girl pregnant?” Toni talks rapidly, her older brother takes a deep breath

“Hi would be nice first, you know...” Joe says as he puts both hands inside the pockets of his jeans “Hey, did you dye your hair?” Joe changes the subject, pointing at her before dropping his duffel bag on the floor

Toni touches her hair proudly “Yes, I have! But don’t change subjects! We didn’t think we’d see you ‘til Christmas! How long are you staying?” She says, walking even closer to her older brother

“Just for two days, pretty quick visit” Joe shrugs

“Are you here because of mom?” Paul asks quietly, still not having moved from the couch “That’s the only reason you’d come back, isn’t it?”

Everyone falls silent "Well, yeah, but I hav..."

Toni shakes her head “Of course, I should’ve guessed it…” She scoffs as she interrupts him again and runs upstairs

“Toni, no! Wait!” Joe says, quickening his steps towards her direction but he can’t reach her “I felt so guilty for not coming last year; I couldn’t pass it up this time. I may not be here all the time, but I still miss her…” Joe adds quietly

“Miss her more than you miss us, right?” Paul asks defiant as he gets up as well

“Paul, please, don’t do this!” Joe begs, but Paul runs upstairs as well “Shit” Joe whispers “Where’s dad?” He asks a little louder towards his younger brother

“Out fucking Audrey” Paul yells from upstairs

“Well, that explains a lot!” Joe laughs “Hey, is that uncharted?!?” He asks to himself as he sits on the couch and grabs the controller.


	4. November 25th, 2016

It is almost two am when Mark finally gives up writing, he has a good chunk of stuff, now he just needs to fix some stuff and convert it into the script format. He has to admit he is pretty fucking proud of himself. Audrey was nice enough to let him stay after she had slept, actually, by the way she is lying on the bed, all messed and with all four limbs everywhere, she probably fell asleep while waiting for him to get done.

Mark turns off the lights and walks up to the bed, climbing under the sheets, holding her frame against him.

“Mark?” She wakes up a little, looking for him confused

“Hey, can I sleep here with you? I’m a bit too tired to drive back home...” 

“Of course, honey” Audrey says and rubs her eyes, waking a little bit more “Hey Mark” She asks into the dark

“Yes?” He replies as he puts his glasses on the nightstand

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure”

“This is deep shit”

Mark laughs “Go on”

“What happened to you and Tom?”

Okay, this is a little too deep, he thinks to himself. Mark freezes “What?"

“Yeah, because earlier when we were having sex and you were about to come, you said _‘shit shit shit tom blow that smoke on my pussy fuck’_ ” Audrey gives him a stern look and Mark’s eyes widen 

“Holy shit, did I really say that?!?” He asks with a frown on his face and she nods 

“Yeah, I heard it loud and clear” Audrey laughs

Mark sighs; he closes his eyes and scratches the back of his neck “Audrey, what Tom and I have is som…”

“Oh my God! You two fuck?!?”

“What? No!” Mark exclaims “Well, at least not anymore” He says looking at his left hand, playing with his fingers while he does some of his exercises.

Audrey laughs “I knew it!”

Mark gives her a stern look 

“I’m sorry, but just… You know?” She sighs “You guys have a chemistry that’s too strong to deny it. Plus, the way he looks at you... And the way you look at him...”

“Come on, Audrey, Tom looks at me no differently than anyone. I’m just his best friend, same for me... That’s all” Mark continues to stare at his hurt hand before taking a deep breath “You wanna know what really happened?”

Audrey’s voice suddenly goes soft “If you don’t mind telling” She says into the darkness

“I was twenty when I met Tom” Mark smiles, remembering Tom the day they met. Tom had peeling skin and fresh freckles from the early morning sun he must’ve caught when surfing earlier that day “He was just sixteen and my sister was the one who introduced us” Mark smiles even more “We immediately became best friends and we formed a band together”

“What was the band’s name?” Audrey wants to know 

“ _Blink_ ” Mark smiles at the mention of it “I fucking loved our band, but above that I loved Tom more than anything” He takes in a deep breath, smiling to himself into the darkness “One day I fucking realized I never wanted him to be just a friend, I wanted to hug him and I wanted to hold him… I wanted to have him and kiss him, you know?” 

Mark can feel that his voice would start breaking at any moment. It hurt too much to remember Tom when they were younger. Sometimes, Mark can still lay in the darkness and feel Tom’s lips on his neck; he can still pass by the beach and see the boy laughing at his stupid things somewhere by the water - Not that he would dare to go to the beach anyway... He can still feel Tom’s hands on his stomach. Mark can see the tall boy in white shirt, holding him and placing his head on Mark’s chest, listening to his heartbeat. Mark just remembers how much he loved that kid. He clenches his right hand into a fist and curses himself for thinking about Tom like that.

“Tom was my first love, my first boyfriend, my first best friend, the first guy I ever been with. He was my first everything, just not my first fuck, but deep inside me I wish he was, you know?” Mark says scrunching up his nose “If when I was younger I knew that one day I would meet him and fall in love for him as hard as I did, I would have waited for him to be my first, because I know I was his...” 

Mark breathes again, Audrey watches him with pity in her eyes, and adoration for the good years her friend has had; she feels closer to Mark as he opens up his heart to her. 

“Until the day that… Hm, that…” Mark gasps for air “I… He… He asked me to go surfing with him and… And… I…” Mark says and tried to not just fall into tears, he shows her his hand, she can see the stitches under the moonlight and she grabs it in hers, Mark stares at her surprised.

“You don’t need to tell me now” Audrey says kissing his knuckles “You don’t need to talk about your accident if you don't want to...”

Mark nods, holding himself from the tears. Fuck! He’s here with his fucking hot friend and he can only cry over a fucking accident that happened over eighteen years ago "I don't wanna talk about it" He shakes his head "But it was the pin point to which led to Tom and I breaking up. About a year later I met Elise, but Tom never quite left my life but we... We lived years with each other's presence and I never felt intimidated by the fact that we loved each other in the past...?" Mark tells her "My head has been just really confused"

"Why?" Audrey asks

"Tom kissed me last night"

"Did he?" Audrey raises her eyebrow "And... Did you kiss him back?"

"Of course, he just fucking high and tired. I'm sure he remembers what he did but he's trying to make it seem like it didn't"

"And does it bother you?"

"A little, I guess" Mark shrugs "I'm... I'm not sure how to feel about it"

"Mark, I think that deep inside, you know what you want..."

Mark huffs out angrily “Can we sleep now?” He asks and bites his lip. She nods and gives him a kiss on the cheek

“Of course” Audrey whispers and covers him with the sheet, before hugging him to fall asleep.

***

Mark arrives in his house early in the next morning, he pulls up the car in the driveway and walks towards the house, a little headache kicking in from staying the entire night writing and sitting in front of a screen

"Paul?!? Toni?!?" He yells inside

"In the kicthen!" He hears Toni shout back and he goes there, surprised on the doorway to find his older son by the stove, making eggs, an apron around his hip.

"Good morning, dad" Joe smiles

" _Joe?!?_ " Mark asks surprised "You're home!" He runs up to his son, hugging him “So…” Mark starts after he lets go of Joe “What’s up with my pupil son!?! I didn’t think I was going to see you this soon! How have you been?”

“Everything’s fine, dad” Joe says serving Paul the eggs, sitting on the chair by his side and wrapping an arm around his little brother, squeezing his arm reassuringly “College’s awesome” He says as Paul starts eating happily

“How’s the economy world doing?” Paul asks and Joe laughs

“Depends on what point of view you’re looking at”

“Anyway” Mark starts again “What are you here for, son?”

Joe sighs, he puts a hand on top of his stomach and sighs “Dad” He says and gives him a sad smile “Today makes seven years that mom passed away...”

Mark’s smile faded into a sad broken breath.

Toni places her fork on the table again

“I’m not hungry anymore” She states before getting up “I’m going to school, I see you later...”

“Toni! Come back” Mark yells after her but she just keeps going, he sighs and puts a hand on his face

“Just let her go, dad. You know how she is” Paul says quietly, he flinches when they hear the front door close with a loud bang “She’s just too proud, just like mom was…” He says and takes another bite from his eggs

“I wanna go see her” Joe explains looking at Mark “I just miss her so much, dad”

Mark closes his eyes tightly and Paul grows worried “Dad, are you okay?”

Mark slowly shakes his head as a tear escaped his eye.

“I wasn’t even… I wasn’t even aware that… That it was this close that… It’s been this long…!” He stammers “I miss her so much!” 

“Oh dad” Joe says getting up and walking towards him, pulling his dad into a hug “She’s happy wherever she is, I know that!”

“Elise...” Mark quietly says while pulling back from his son's embrace “Even her name was fucking gorgeous” He sighs “I miss calling Toni like that” Mark smiles. Toni and Elise shared a name, until Toni finally understood her mother was gone that, everything that reminded her of her mom would be abdominal; she just couldn’t stand such sad goodbye.  
So she named herself Toni.

Mark cleans his tears “Good to have you back, son” He says patting Joe’s shoulder "Even if it's just for a little while..."

***

Toni walks out of the house and doesn’t look back, she might be being stubborn and dramatic, but she is not doing it for attention, at least not so someone will run after her, because she just really wants to be by herself right now. Her skateboard is sitting by the lawn; thrown away next to one of her dad’s garden gnomes that grandma has given him just for the heck of it. She picks it up and jumps on top of it, racing down the street. Toni is standing in front of the Starbucks store a few minutes after, she walks in and for once, there is no one in the line, she walks up to it, and has to admit to herself she feels disappointed when he sees a tall blonde guy by the register. Toni frowns to herself and walks a little around the store, seeing that today the cute baby face boy was at the bar, making the drinks. 

Toni gives herself a huge stupid smile and runs to the register 

“Hello, welcome to Starbucks” The guy in the cashier tells her “What will be your drink today?” He asks her 

“A tall Iced Coffee, please” She says, still grinning 

“Of course, and what is your name?”

“Can… Can I write it?” Toni asks, pointing at the cup and the guy frowns 

“Hm, sure…” He laughs before hesitantly handing Toni the cup, she smiles excitedly like a little kid as she scribbles down onto the cup and hands it back with the pen to the attendant “Thank you” He tells her as she hands him her gift card. 

Toni leaves the register and goes around, looking around the place, waiting for her order to be finished. Frank is by the bar, calling everyone with his thin, high-pitched voice. Toni looks on her phone and takes a deep breath as she looks from Tom’s number on her contact list. 

“ _Moe Lester!_ ” Frank shouts from the bar, then everyone’s wide eyes turn to him and he stops to think about just happened “Oh, for _fuck’s sake!_ ” He says, a little pissed, a little annoyed, letting out a light laughter as he sees the name-less girl walking up to him. 

“Thank you” Toni smiles as he takes the drink away from his hand

Frank can only smirk to himself as he sees her walking away

***

“Who’s a good girl?” Tom laughs as he pats Sally’s ears and she wiggles her tail at him “Sit!” He tells her showing an open palm and she immediately sits and shows her tongue at him, looking up with hopeful eyes for a nice a treat. Tom smiles as he gives her a cookie and he commands her she can go back to run around in the background. Tom is sitting with his laptop open, writing a piece of his new book. Sally will come back to him every few minutes, asking to be pet, for a treat, or even to just snuggle up against him on the garden bench. His cellphone rings, he looks at it hoping it would be a friend of his. He smiles and reaches for it, but frowns once he notices it’s Toni. He picks up the phone just at the time Sally has jumped on the bench to lay her head on his thighs “Hey, kid, what’s up?” Tom asks excitedly 

“Hey Tom, I...” Toni tells him "What are you doing? Are you at work?"

"No, I'm at home, writing a little... Is something wrong?" Tom asks concerned

“I… I was wondering if you could let me use one of your keyboards, I wanna try something…” Toni lets out 

“Yeah sure” Tom shrugs “You know you can come over at any time”

“I know” She says “I… I kind of called for something else though” 

“What?” Tom asks confused “What’s wrong?”

“I… Today makes seven years that mom passed away” Toni says simply, Tom closes his eyes and places a hand on his forehead 

“Shit” He tells himself 

“Joe is even here, can you come with us to the cemetary after school?” Toni asks in a pleasing voice “It would be really important to me if you could be there, Tom” She tells him and he sighs 

“I... I will be there, honey” He tells her “I would never let you alone in this”

“Thanks” She tells him, smiling a little to himself “Thank you, Tom”

“It’s nothing sweetheart” He tells her and hangs up, he looks down at Sally and gives her a sad smile 

***

Mark feels like he’s going to drop at any moment, his knees have been weak the entire day. His hands tremble as he stands at one of the offices in the studio, he takes a nice look at his hand and traces the scars on its back, he tries to close it into a fist, but can’t quite really, his ring finger just twitches and his pinky doesn't move at all. Mark sighs and tries to shake the thought out of his head. He looks up, seeing people walk by, until a perky young woman calls his name. He gets up, grabs his paycheck for a script he wrote a few months back and thanks her, he trembles when he holds it into his injured hand. 

Mark grabs his phone and sends a message to Joe _“I’ll be home in about half an hour”_ He says, he pockets it and walks out. 

“Mark?” A deep voice calls from behind him “Mark! Hey!” 

Mark turns around, the voice seems quite excited. He takes a look at the man walking up to him, black button down, sleeve pulled up while showing intricate tattoos, black rimmed glasses and a really nice smile. Blue eyes. Mark looks around a little as the man keeps walking up to him 

“How are you?” Matt asks “Is everything okay? How’s your writing going?” He asks honestly interested. Mark smiles a little to himself.

“Good, I think…” Mark says, as the both of them start walking again “How… How are you?” 

“I… I’m about to go adopt a pig” Matt laughs “Actually” He adds

Mark looks at him with wide eyes “What?” 

“Yeah, I…” He starts “I just paid 500 dollars to keep him from becoming bacon, isn’t that great?” Matt laughs 

“Wh… Why would you do that?” Mark chuckles 

Matt stops “I… I felt like it was the right thing to do” He says and then nods “You wanna come with me? I’m gonna go pick up Annie at school and we’re going to go get him up, you in?”

Mark stops in his tracks, he looks at Matt while frowning to himself “We met like a week ago” He says and Matt nods

“Yeah” He says excitedly 

“And you want me to go adopt a pig with you???”

Matt places both hands on the pockets of his jeans “Well, yeah. Not with _me_ , you would _just go_ ” He nods “Why not? I mean...”

Mark looks at Matt, he notices the man isn’t joking at all. Mark just laughs “You can’t be serious” He says and Matt nods

“I am”

“ _Woah_ ” Mark says and looks around “Actually, I… I would love to, but… But today is… Today is a complicated day, I… My oldest son is even in town, so…” Mark tries to explain, gesturing his hands a little, giving Matt a forced smile and Matt’s eyes widen

“Oh, I’m sorry about that” He says and looks apologetically at Mark 

“It’s okay” Mark smiles “It’s cute though” He says laughing to himself a little

“What?” Matt asks confused

“What you’re doing, with… With the pig, you know?” Mark tries to explain himself, but in the end he just scratches the back of his head nervously “Are you keeping him in your house?” Mark asks confused

“Yeah… I… I actually don’t have anywhere else to take him…” Matt tells him “We have a lot of space so that shouldn’t be a problem, at least not for now so we can have time to find him a permanent home… You can come see it if you want…” Matt smiles

“Wh… What?” Mark asks still confused “You want me to go see the pig?”

Matt laughs “I’m being polite” He says 

Mark just chuckles; does this guy even see boundaries? Mark frowns, still a smile on his face, he walks closer to Matt and looks into his eyes “Are you hitting on me over a pig?”

Matt smirks “I’m not, I know I should use a cat or a goat for that” He says “Or even a dog, you seem like the type of guy who likes men with large dogs” Matt says with a smirk on his lips, looking slightly down at Mark and amusedly waiting for his reaction

Mark can only nod “Alright” He says stepping away “So you’re not hitting on me?” He asks again 

“Not because of a pig” Matt states and Mark laughs

“Alright” He says again, still very confused “Thank you?”

“You’re welcome” Matt says and turns away, following his way into another room, leaving a very confused and wide-eyed Mark on the hallway, trying to think of where he left the keys of his car.

***

Tom arrives earlier than they had expected, he talks to Joe and meet with Mark in the kitchen, hugging his friend “I’m sorry man” He says apologizing.

“Tom, it’s been seven years, it’s okay...” Mark smiles a little too sadly 

“Shall we go?” He asks and Mark nods 

“Yeah” 

Joe and Mark got into Mark’s car and went to pick up Paul and Toni at school, driving to the cemetery.

They spend about half an hour there, leaving their flowers and messages for Elise, Toni doesn't let go of Tom's arm for a slight second, that until Tom invites everybody out to eating “On me!” He states, turning to Mark who is a little skeptical about paying for food. Mark smiles a little sadly as Tom wraps an arm around his shoulder, Mark leans into it, letting it be.

Tom smiles.

***  
 **April 20th, 2004**

_Tom is sitting on the old carpeted floor of that house in a little nice neighborhood of San Diego, he has a tiny four year old boy sitting on his lap, drinking milk and watching yet another_ Thomas and Friends _episode. Tom patted Paul’s dark blonde hair and left a kiss on top of his head, as if he was a child of his own._

_“This show is so weird” Mark said from the couch, an eight year-old Joe snuggled up to his side “That is all a scale model if you stop to pay attention”_

_“I thought you was going to say it was weird cause they’re talking trains, but that’s okay, I guess” Tom said without looking back at his friend, who only chuckled at his words  
“Maybe you’re right” Mark sighed, that was when Elise came back from the kitchen, wearing a denim overall and a red shirt underneath, all sweaty and breathing deeply, her dark hair in piggytails. _

_“Mark, can you_ please _come help me fixing the fence? I need another pair of hands...” She says, leaning on the arch of the door from the kitchen to the living room_

_“Can’t do manual labor, hon” Mark shakes his head “You know that...”_

_“Mark!” Elise said angered “You always do this! Come on! I am si...”_

_“I can help” Tom said lifting his hand up, trying to get them to stop fighting_

_“Really?” Elise asked excitedly and Tom nodded “That would be great!”_

_“Sure” He said and lifted Paul from his lap, placing him on the floor by his side “Let’s go” Tom said as he followed Elise out of the kitchen, eyeing her as she gave Mark a dirty, mad look “What do you need help with?” Tom asked as they both walked outside_

_“Just hold this up for me and I’ll hammer it into it’s place” She said holding up a plank of wood “Can you help me paint after we’re done here?”_

_“Of course” Tom laughed “Anything for you” He said as he held the plank for her_

_“Thanks” She smiled, starting to place the pricks on it “How are you and Michael doing?”_

_“We broke up” Tom said simply, as if it was no big deal “We broke up last night, actually” He laughed_

_“Wow, that’s why you’re here, then” Elise said turning to him “You never come here on Sundays so that’s new...” She laughed, turning to him, her tails flying flawlessly towards him “Was it bad?”_

_“Sort of” Tom shrugged “Was getting kind of tired of him anyway, came just in time for the trip next week”_

_"Oh yeah!" Elise smiles, remembering the big backpacker trip Tom had been planning for over six months now "Are you excited about that?!?"_

_"Of course I am!" Tom laughs "This is gonna be the biggest trip of my life, I can't believe I'm gonna spend two months backpacking across the country, that's insane"_

_"I wish I could go with you" Elise sighs "I always wanted to do something like that..."_

_"We can set you up a week or two where we'll meet up, what do you think?" Tom asks "Like, you can fly out to go see me and we'll travel together and then you fly back, Mark won't mind to watch the kids for a while..." He laughs_

_"That... That actually sounds really cool" She smiles "I think I can meet upi with you when you go to Roswell?"_

_"Oh my God! Yes!" Tom smiles excitedly "That would be so cool! Please come!" He then whines and she can only laugh at him_

_"I'll see what I can do"_

_"God, It'll be so much fun!" Tom laughs again_

_“I..." Elise starts again "Since you and Michael broke up, I have a date for you if you want…” Elise laughed and Tom laughed, looking at her amazed_

_“Please don’t tell me it’s your coffee boy again” He said shaking his head, still smiling at the awkward situation she had put him in at the time_

_“Shut up” She sneers, laughing with him “It’s my friend’s brother, tall, handsome and lame, just your type” Elise says hammering another prick into the plank “The last one now”_

_“What is his name?”_

_“Alex”_

_“So generic. I love it” Tom laughed and Elise tagged along “You should come and make it a double date, just so we can laugh at it”_

_“You know Mark would be so pissed the entire time, right?”_

_“That makes it even better” Tom laughs and Elise lets go of the hammer, placing it on the floor_

_“And at the end of the night we should hook up and let them be dorks alone”_

_“Why do we like stupid men?”_

_“I know right” Elise tagged along on the joke, throwing her hands up on the air “Come on, let’s get the paint”_

_“Hey, have I told you about the guy who may have seen the big foot in Santa Barbara?” Tom asked as they got up "You might want to go there with me as well..."_

_“No!” Elise gasped “Fuck, tell me”_

_“Ok, so he just goes into the wood and gets lost from his girlfriend,,,” Tom starts_

_“Of course” Elise rolls her eyes as she picks up the can of white paint and the brushes, handing one to the tall guy, listening to him continue through the night_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading everyone! If you have questions or would like to send feedback to be updated through tumblr just send me a message through deathcomealive.tumblr.com (please?)


	5. November 29th, 2016

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank everyone who had read this story and given feedback so far, thank you all over again and thank you for keep on reading

**September 14th, 1994**

_Tom fell down to his knees, begging Mark to come along and Mark coughed a little_

_"Tom, I am sick! How do you expect me to go surfing with you?" He asked the younger boy, giving him a kiss on his knuckles, turning over in the bed and putting an arm around him “Can’t we just stay in bed like we have the entire week and you take care of me and I avoid kissing you but in the end still do it anyhow” Mark says and laughs at the end “And you get stuck in this bed with me, sick as well, and we can be sick together… Just... Just kiss meee!” Mark whines, dragging it out at the end_

_"Please Mark! You already are so much better! And you know I don't go surfing without you, ever." Tom whines as well_

_Mark sighed, he got up and sat on his bed, grabbing his guitar and strumming a few cords "I don't think so"_

_"Oh come on! Pretty please!" Tom asked again_

_"Shuuuut upppp. Shuuuut upppp. I rather stay here and fuck your ass so just shuuuut upppp!" Mark sang strumming a few cords_

_"Please!!!" Tom asked again, ignoring him and Mark knew that if Tom were to refuse sex then it's because it is really important_

_"Ah! Okay" Mark rolled his eyes "You're gonna regret this" Mark turned to him and Tom just gave him a chaste kiss on the lips_

_"Shut up and follow me"_

***

Tom wakes up alone in his bed. Well, except for Sally who’s peacefully sleeping by the foot of the bed. He sighs into the light on his face coming from the window on the ceiling, Tom smiles to his room, looking up to the glass roof where he watches the stars and the rain, the shelf of books by one of the walls, completing it, only a space left for the door that leads to the bathroom and closet.

He feels the carpeted floor on his feet as he gets up and leaves the room to his living room and kitchen, Sally right behind him, waiting to be fed. Tom gets comfortable on his stool by the table that divides the living room and kitchen. Tom grabs his phone and goes through a black book that lays on top of his computer; he rubs his eyes and calls David as he gives his dog a treat for sitting down as he commands.

“Good morning Tom, how are you?” David says chirply into the phone

“Fine” He says with a groggy voice “I see you’ve already had your coffee…”

“Of course, do you even know me?” David laughs “Did you just wake up?” He asks confused “Why are you calling me then?”

Tom shrugs and gets up to turn on his coffee machine “Just felt like it, I guess. You got that interview ready for next week?” Tom asks 

“Yup! Uploading to queue right now!” he exclaims "You don't sound too well"

"I just feel like shit, I don't think I'm coming in today, is that alright?" Tom asks running a hand through his face

"You are the boss, it's your call" David shrugs “And guess who emailed me?”

Tom gasps excitedly, stroking his bare chest “Oh my God! Who?!?”

“You remember that Australian dude, George something?” David asks

“Not really” Tom says, scratching the back of his head “Why?”

“He wants to interview you, but like, he wants Skype and all that shit, you know? He has a publisher in the land down under so they want to talk to you about your book and your upcoming work…”

Tom stops in his seat “Sounds cool” He says and smiles “I’m in, dude”

“The guy just won’t shut up about UFO’s on the email” David laughs into the receiver

“Of course” Tom laughs and rolls his eyes

“Hey, I have something else to talk to you about, Jared and Matt have been working the entire weekend on this piece and they wanna show you, you think we could pass by your house before work?” David asks and Tom shakes his head

“Sure, it’s not a problem…” 

“Great, now you go and you fucking rock the shit out of that conspiracy trash!”

Tom laughs “Thanks for being so supportive”

“You’re welcome” David smiles “Now I have to go, I think Matt just locked himself inside the bathroom…”

“Okay” Tom laughs before hanging up

***

The doorbell rings and Tom gets up quickly to go answer it, he sees Matt, David and Jared by the door, Jared holding a laptop in his hands. 

“Wow” The young intern says as he walks inside the house and Tom laughs “This place is awesome, very pretty” 

Tom laughs “Thanks, kid” He says after Matt and David walk in, closing the door after them “Let’s see what you’ve got”

“Sure” Matt says taking the computer away from Jared’s hands and setting it up on the dinner table. They watch the edits to the videos Tom had made in Europe, including one where Tom was drunk out of his mind in France and kissing the living soul of a dude whilist humping him like a maniac 

“I’m sorry, okay?!?” Tom embarrassedly kept trying to excuse himself as all the other men laughed at the shit Tom had done on this trip. They binge some other YouTube videos and Vines before Matt decided it was time to leave. 

“I think I’ll stay” David says “Tom and I need to talk some stuff”

“Sure” Matt says “I’ll take Jared so I'll drive the car as well, okay? I’ll see you at work...” Matt says before grabbing the car keys 

“Great, I'll just take an Uber” David says

“Come on, kid” Matt says wrapping an arm around Jared’s shoulder. He says before the two of them leave the house. David looks over to Tom and Tom frowns back

“What?” Tom asks “Now that you and Matt have been living together for long enough you’ve finally realized you have feelings for him?” 

“What?!?” David turns to Tom confused, but he only sighs 

“Ah man, forget it” Tom shakes his head “What did you want to talk to me about…?”

“Just about work and your new book…” David says getting up and gesturing for Tom to follow him into the kitchen “Is it okay if I make myself some coffee?”

“Sure” Tom says “What about my new book…”

“The Australian dude wants to buy the rights off it…”

“What?” Tom asks and shakes his head “No, no way I’m filiating myself to someone to publish my book…”

“I thought you would say something among those lines…” David says as he grabs himself a mug of coffee “Tom, just take a look at the email, this is a really good offer, it could be amazing for Strange Times…”

“Will I be in control of it?” 

“Well, no, but…”

“Then it’s not good” Tom says shaking his head and looking over at David 

“God! Why you gotta be so stubborn!” David laughs “You don’t even know what could come out of it!”

“David, I know these things, they will take over Strange Times and give me time to write my book. I’ll have no participation whatsoever on the blog and when I’m done trying to write my book they will try to tell me what I can and what I can’t say…”

David sighs and shakes his head “Okay, okay” He laughs, pouring both him and Tom some coffee “You win, alright?”

“Hell yeah” Tom says a bit grumpy as David hands him his mug, that’s when the doorbell rings again “Who is it?” Tom asks confused 

“Must be Matt, he might’ve forgotten something…” David says as he places his mug on the counter “I’ll go answer it”

“Thank you!” Tom yells as David goes into the living room. 

David walks up to the front door and opens it, frowning at the young blonde girl standing in front of him with an acoustic guitar wrapped around her shoulder “Hi!” She smiles up at him “David, right?” She says waving at him and David frowns and looks around, he then looks down at the girl again “You’re even taller now than what I remember you were…” 

David frowns at her again and shake his head “Who are you?”

“Oh” The girl says confused “I’m Toni! Mark’s daughter…”

“Oh, Yeah!” David says now remembering her “Did you dye your hair?” He asks and she nods “Cool, come in, kid. Tom is in the kitchen”

“Thanks” Toni smiles as she walks in, she goes up to the kitchen and sees Tom sitting by the table, drinking his coffee “Hey dickface” She says as soon as she sees him, and he turns to her, giving her a surprised smile 

“Toni!” He exclaims excited and gets up to give her a hug, to which she laughs as she falls into his embrace “What are you doing here? Weren't you supposed to be at school?” Tom asks as he places both his hands on her shoulders, taking a look at her

"I just didn't feel like going today" Toni shrugs, placing her guitar case on the floor "So I came here"

"You just happened to meet me here cause I am supposed to be at work now" Tom giggles, moving to the counter and pouring her a cup of coffee

"If you weren't here then I would just go to school anyway" Toni places both hands inside her hoodie's pockets and nods to herself "I didn't want to give myself the benefit of the doubt if you were gonna be at home or not..."

"Last minute decision, I like that" Tom smiles as he hands her the mug, the Dumbo one as he knows she always likes “Your hair looks amazing like that, I didn't have the chance to tell you the other day...”

“Thank you!” She blushes as she takes a few strings of her hair, curling them on her fingers “I… I came because you invited me to come any time I wanted... Remember?”

"I do, but I didn't think you would take it so seriously" Tom laughs “But for you I all the time in the world. So, what do you wanna do?” he asks her

“Play with your keyboards” Toni says excitedly and Tom laughs again

“I think I should go to work then” David says “It’s getting late and Matt will try to make coffee by himself and I’m scared he’ll just burn the building down…”

“It’s okay” Tom laughs “See you at work tomorrow…” 

“See you” David smiles before leaving “Bye Toni!”

“Bye David!” Toni says as he goes away.

Tom looks at Toni sitting at the table, sipping her coffee patiently; he pulls out a chair beside her and flops down on her side “Can I ask you something?” Tom says, supporting his elbow on the table and his head on his hand, propping himself at the table to get a better look at Toni

“Sure” She says after taking a sip out of her coffee “When haven’t you asked me anything?”

“Of course” Tom says rolling his eyes “Actually I am doing this thing with Strange Times where Matt and I will go camping with some other staff people, I was wondering if you’d like to come this year…” He says and Toni eyes him curiously “Get a fresh air, get out of that tiny neighborhood and that small room and that Starbucks. I would really like you to come with us…”

“Tom” Toni says shaking her head with a giggle, she places a hand on Tom’s shoulder, looking him in the eyes “I’m in, alright?” She says “I miss going out to camp, honestly I think I haven’t done it since mom passed away…”

Tom smiles and nods “That is gonna be so great” He says excitedly, rubbing both hands together 

“Heck yeah!” Toni shouts before getting up from the table “Are we gonna play now or what?” She asks, walking inside towards the guest room where she knows Tom keeps all his keyboards and his guitars and amps and shit. Toni doesn’t wait for Tom, he just stares amazed after her when he sees Sally following her into the house and she giggles at the large dog trying to play with her. 

Tom stares at her amazed at her knowing there is a piece of him all over that kid. 

***

**September 14th, 1994**

_“Are you ready for the best surf ride of your life?” Tom asked, caressing Mark’s hand as they stood in the sand before the sea, a board for each._

_“I fucking hate you” Mark sniffed_

***

When it comes the time where she was supposed to leave school, Toni gets out of Tom's house, leaving it into an empty noise, stopping her melodies halfway through, and Tom once again invites her to come whenever she wants. He looks around the empty house and sighs to himself, Tom decides to dress himself up in his jeans and a gray shirt, he grabs the ice cream and the milk out of the fridge, making himself a milkshake. Tom takes the car keys from the bowl on the table by the front door and goes out for a drive on his SUV. 

Tom drives around happily drinking the milkshake he did himself and happily thinking about his book and UFO’s, Sally is sitting on the passenger seat, barking as the cars go by, he can only smile at the sight. Strange Times grew more and more each day and this was the perfect opportunity to show the world’s he’s not saying nonsense.

He parks his car and starts walking towards the beach, Sally on a leash. He sits on one of the rocks and watches the surfers from afar. Tom doesn’t dare to go surfing anymore, and when he looks at Mark he remembers why every time. He looks sadly at his milkshake and sighs until he hears a familiar voice underneath him.

“Hi there, fuck face!”

A young boy around his mid-twenties looks at him with a white board under his arm. The boy had a few tattoos on his arm, a pink and yellow flower on the middle of his chest and a scorpion on the right side of his neck, the face of a girl on the upper part of his right arm, a few others Tom couldn't quite make from afar but he knew them way too well to name each of them. The septum ring and shaved sides of his head, perfecting with the long-ish hair the boy had.

Tom smiled from behind his sunglasses. Bingo! Exactly what he expected to find here

“What are you doing here? I thought you were out with Matt and David... Or at work at least...” The boy laughs as he puts the board in the sand and climbs the rocks to sit by Tom’s side. Tom lets go of Sally and lets her run free on the beach, he watches her as she gets closer to the water, putting her paws into it, he smiles to himself “Why are you here?” Jim asks, smiling at Tom and then looking out to the sea “You hate surfing”

Tom laughs, taking another sip from his milkshake. He looks at Jim, who actually seems like a mirage in front of him, the shorty boy with black hair and tattoos over his arm and his chest and the brightest smile and the cutest giggle Tom has ever seen, he laughs “I actually like surfing more than you think, I just don’t practice, at all”

“You didn’t answer my question” Jim says again ruffling his chocolate hair, full of water, before taking the milkshake away from Tom, sucking on the straw. He smiles and raises one eyebrow, teasing Tom’s answer even more.

“Came here to see you” Tom casually says, looking away, searching for Sally on the water from behind his sunglasses and Tom looks at him “You wanna go out for dinner?”

"Where are you gonna take me?" Jim asks with a smile 

"Depends on your behaviour" Tom jokes, giving the younger man a shy smile 

"Oh yeah? Is this a challenge?"

 _"Maybe"_ Tom says casually 

“Alright" Jim nods to himself "Can I just surf a little more?” Jim asks as he fixes his septum piercing a little

Tom shrugs “Of course” Tom watches Jim not getting up “Aren’t you going?” He asks

Jim shakes his head “Just wanna sit here and feel the wind for a while, if you don’t mind to make me company”

Tom shrugs again “No, not at all”

Jim stares at him as he leans back on the rocks and touches his own abs. Tom couldn’t help but look a little rapidly, he laughs and shakes his head, looking out to the ocean again

“Now come on and go surfing, I just can’t sit with you here all day”

“Of course not” Jim winks at Tom and without looking back climbs down the rocks “Sally!” Jim whistles “Who’s a good girl, huh?” He asks as she runs up to him and the walk side by side towards the sand again

***

It’s midnight; Tom looks at the clock on the kitchen wall. He sighs as he watches Jim placing his dirty plate inside the sink

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll wash it tomorrow” Tom says, a cup of tea on his hand as he leans into the boys side, touching his body against his

“Thanks” Jim smiles before grabbing his stuff on the table and leaving the kitchen towards the front door “When do I see you again?” He stops and looks at Tom as the older man leans into the doorframe.

Tom giggles “You’ll know, when the time comes” Tom says getting closer to him and running a finger on the shorter one's jaw, bringing him in for a light kiss, a sweet peck on the lips. 

Jim smiles a little sad as he pulls back “Bye Tommy boy”

“Bye Jim” Tom waves as Jim gets into the Uber that was waiting for him outside

***

**September 14th, 1994**

_“Hey Mark did you just see that wave I got?” Tom asked and Mark laughed as he had his arms crossed on top of his board_

_“Yeah, that was awesome, Tom!” Mark laughed_

_“Maybe we should take the next one together…”_

_“Tom, you know I’m not in the mood, at least not anymore, we had a lot of fun but I'm getting tired...” Mark whined_

_“But…” The younger boy looked at him with pleading eyes_

_Mark sighed “Okay, come on” He said and gave Tom his left hand, squeezing it a little before getting flat on his board._

_Tom and Mark swam towards the wave and when it was the right time, they went for it._

_Tom went ahead, catching it in full “This is awesome!!” He shouted somewhere along the way until he reached the beach again “Fuck Marky, that was awesome” He said and then looked behind him “Mark?”_

_Mark wasn’t anywhere to be seen, not behind him, not in the waves, not anywhere._

_Tom started swimming towards the water again “Mark?!?” He got closer to one of their friends “Hey Alex, did you see Mark?!?”_

_“I saw him in the wave with you, why?”_

_Tom’s eyes widened “Fuck!” He suddenly got desperate “Where the fuck is he?”_

_Alex just shrugged_

_“MARK?!?” Tom started to yell desperately “MARK FUCK TALK TO ME?!?”_

_Something creeped up his spine, what if Mark was hurt, what if…_

_Oh shit_

_He then suddenly saw a single board near the rocks. Mark’s board!_

_“FUCK!” Tom yelled desperately and more closely, knew Mark would be there. Tom noticed a trail of blood on the water as he came closer “Shit Mark! Shit Shit Shit!”_

_He already had tears in his eyes, thinking about the shit he has done when he sees Mark’s head hanging low into the water, some blood dripping from it._

_“Mark?!?” He called his best friend, tears in his eyes as he raised Mark’s head out of the water, making sure he was breathing “Hey Alex! Call a fucking ambulance!” Tom waved from the rocks and Alex and his friends got startled_

_“Shit Tom! Is he okay?!” One of the guys asked as Alex hurried out of the water_

_“He’s bleeding!” Tom yelled a bit too more desperate “He’s fucking bleeding!” He said and unstrapped Mark’s board, handing it to one of the other kids._

_He had to save Mark._

_Tom took Mark’s arm and wrapped it around his neck, another kid did it on the other side of Mark's. They started swimming to carry him towards the beach, even if Mark was a little bit too heavy for the two of them in the water._

_“You’ll be okay, Mark, you fucking hear me?” Tom said to his boyfriend “I fucking love you, Mark, don’t you dare to leave me!”_

_Tom reached further to take Mark’s hand in his until he saw his hand and his wrists were bleeding in open cuts, it was deformed already and Tom’s eyes widened_

_“What happened to your hand, Mark, oh my God!” Tom felt his urge to cry boiling up even more until a life saver came in to properly take Mark back._

_He saw Mark being taken away from him for the first time right then._


	6. December 9th, 2016

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, this week there is a few things I wanna say
> 
> 1 - I'm sorry it took so long for this chapter to be uploaded, it probably shouldn't be right now, I have been swamped with work and it's been overwhealming and taking a toll on me, and now it's been a very emotional part of it, so I decided to this right now so I can take my mind off things for a little while. I'm not sure when I'll post the next chapter though. 
> 
> 2 - Questions about how the OC's are portrayed in visual aids have been prompted, you will all be granted that soon enough, just please don't let me forget about it (I might so I'm counting on you all)
> 
> 3 - People have sent me questions the past few days and I haven't had the time to answer them yet, but I will try tomorrow morning, I promise. Same goes for new fics, I haven't had the time to go through them yet but I am anxiously waiting on all your dirty smuts and your imaginative AU's just wait just til this storm is over (I am the one taking the toll for this ugh)
> 
> 4 - This chapter is one of my favorites, it takes a few characters a bit too much of a step ahead of them and great things happen, this is one of the longest chapters there'll be in the entire story so please enjoy 
> 
> Who can guess the Out Of The Blue reference?

Mark’s heart is beating in his ribcage, it doesn’t feel like he’s going to die _right now_ , though he knows, he will... Eventually, _maybe_ , but it does seem like that time is going to come sometime soon and it’s not gonna be pretty. He walks into the waiting room and doesn’t see anyone in there, not even the receptionist, he frowns to himself and looks around a little nervously, just to be sure.

Mark shakes his head and throws caution to the wind as he walks up to the main and opens it, seeing his boss sitting at the desk, feet propped up on the table as he looks on his computer “Mark?!” Matt asks surprised, a little astonished to see him while sitting up straight

“Hey” Mark says a little bit shy, walking in “I’m sorry, I should’ve knocked...” He explains then pointing to the door, cursing himself on his head

 _“Yeahhhh”_ Matt answers a bit awkwardly, he looks around and swallows dryly. Matt gets up and starts walking up to Mark “But it’s okay, don’t worry about that right now, I was just looking at my emails from Annie’s school…”

“Oh, thank you” Mark smiles shyly, looking at the stack of papers on his hands “I…” He starts, raising them up to show Matt “I finished the story…”

“You could’ve sent it through email, if you wanted...” Matt chuckles, taking it as Mark hands it to him "It's best on me I can just sit in my couch and read off the iPad while Annie watches PowerPuff Girls"

Matt laughs, but Mark grows nervous "You want me to? I mean, I can do that too..." He nods to himself "I just nee..."

"Mark, it's okat, really" Matt smiles, placing a hand on Mark's shoulder, which calms him down somehow - Or not. Matt then goes through the first few pages, taking a look and nodding to himself as his eyes skim the pages.

“It just felt right this way…” Mark says, putting both hands behind his back, leaning back against the door “I really spent a lot of time on it, so… Yeah” Mark says with a forced chuckle at the end. He had to admit Matt still made him kind of anxious sometimes.

Matt is wearing a white button down and black pants, and that was everything, and at the same time, it really was _everything_. Mark looks away, trying to not pay attention to his boss’s blue eyes reading the crap he has written. Matt brings down the script and looks up at Mark, staring into his eyes “I’ll take a look at it later, you know, read it patiently. I’ll promise to send feedback as soon as possible, okay?” Matt asks and Mark nods quickly “You wanna stay a little? Have some coffee…?” Matt asks, walking back and looking behind himself to see if Mark was following him, and the older man did with quiet, small steps.

“Sure, coffee sounds good” Mark nods, there is a table by the window of the office, a few books and records on it. Mark walks closer and looks around, until he pulls out a thick black book. Matt looks over to him, coming back with two mugs filled with brand new coffee for them and Mark shows him the book casually “You like weird alien shit, huh?” Mark asks as he shows him Tom’s book.

“Yeah, it’s pretty interesting actually...” Matt laughs “Have you read that?"

Mark smiles and chuckles “Tom is my best friend…” He says and Matt frowns

“You mean the author?” He asks and Mark nods “Wow, man, that’s great! Tell him I love the books he’s put out so far, they’re amazing! I can’t wait for more...”

“I will tell him, don’t worry about that” Mark smiles “I have heard so much about this, you have no idea” He laughs and shakes his head, looking more at the stuff Matt has around “You have some pretty cool stuff here, man” Mark says pulling out a few graphic novels, taking a look at them

“You like comics?” Matt asks

“Do I?” Mark says sarcastically “Basically everything I did was read comics when the kids were at school when they were little... There used to be this tiny shop near our house, but then my wife passed away and I got too busy and the store closed down, I honestly haven't read much since then...”

“I can show you some really cool ones sometime” Matt says “Maybe you can pick up a habit again... I like a lot of indie stuff, besides the superheroes, you know?"

“I haven't been into indie comics that much but I’ve been wanting to read some lately, heroes are getting annoying now that I’m almost forty-five…” Mark sighs to himself and he picks one of Matt’s records “You have so little music here…” He points out, going through Matt’s CDs "You seem like the type of guy who would have way more music than this..." Mark smiles, and Matt answers it back at him

“I actually have a Vinyl collection at home, but all my CDs are here… Short life span, those had, that’s why they’re so few…” Matt explains and Mark nods

“You have _All I Have To Lose_ , by Finest Comedy!” Mark smiles big “I love this album!” He says pulling it out

“Yeah, I worked with them for a while… I’m actually going to LA to their lead singer’s wedding next month…”

“That’s _so_ great!” Mark smiles big to himself “You seem to have had a pretty exciting career… You seem like you've done so much!”

“I did” Matt laughs, noticing Mark’s sudden change of mood “Just dig deeper; you might find more stuff…” He says and Mark goes on through the albums, until he sees the yellow cover

“No!” He shouts out with a chuckle, pulling out a copy of _Cheshire Cat_ , the album that he and Tom put out together when they were younger “I can’t believe you have this!” He says surprised, looking at the kitten and the single _blink_ above his head

“I found it online when looking up your name one time, I got curious…” Matt laughs “Couldn’t believe in anything I heard”

“Yeah, our sense of humor is not really generic, if you want to call it like that…” Mark says, placing his hands behind his back “But man, did we sound good… Or not”

“I know…” Matt smiles, he sees Mark looking down, sad all of the sudden “I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable…”

“It doesn’t” Mark quickly says, he looks up and stares into Matt's eyes, making sure of it when in reality it just makes him wanna run away “I promise…”

“You…” Matt starts again “You wanna play some cards?” He asks as he picks up a case from the top of the desk, opening it and taking the cards out, flipping through them “We could play while listening to Finest Comedy if you want…”

“Sure” Mark smiles “I’d be into that!” He says and picks out one of the albums, there’s an old stereo by the window and Mark puts the album into it while Matt sits down on the carpet, separating the cards between the two of them

Mark sits in front of him and takes his bunch, the albums starts playing and Mark hums lyrics as he starts playing, by the time it gets to _My Mistakes, My Magic_ , the two boys are singing from the top of their lungs.

_I thought I was strong, but we only found they're wrong_  
_When it's late, when they're gone, I hope you're by my side when they're done_  
_One by one bringing their way put our fate to stills_  
_Brave we will be, together we'll drill into our story_  
_Through the glory of both of us._

“Can I tell you something?” Matt laughs as the song ends and he throws another card into the pile

“Sure” Mark shrugs, an amused smile on his lips

“I am sorry…” He starts and Mark looks up confused “That I hit on you so bad the other day…”

“It’s okay” Mark shakes his head, taking the last final sip of coffee from his mug “My feelings were really confused and I was sad and annoyed and just… You just caught me in a bad mood, on that day...” He explains

“I actually wanted to tell you that I think you’re great” Matt goes on “You’re such a funny guy, full of personality and honestly I haven’t made that many friends here in San Diego yet… I mean, I'm not a weirdo or anything" Matt laughs nervously "I actually have lots of friends in Chicago and a few in LA from my music days… But none here that I can count on, I can probably name the people who have hung out with me in just one hand” Matt laughs, throwing more cards in.

“That’s okay. Really, if there’s ever a time when you wanna hang out, I’ll be there” He smiles “Tom is basically the only friend I have, I used to have a lot of them as well but they’ve drifted since I had kids and honestly, after you grow up, no one wants to be friends with you when you have a bunch of monsters that you have to take with you anywhere and no money…”

Matt laughs “I know what you mean...” He says “I’ve had a lot of fake friends during life exactly for that… You’d be amazed by how many people stopped talking to me after I adopted Annie” Matt shakes his head “Racist pricks”

Mark smiles and sighs, suddenly throwing all of his cards into the pile, the record has now stopped playing, reaching its end “I don’t want to play anymore” He says a bit tired, slouching his shoulders, he taps his fingers onto his knees and Matt drops his cards as well.

“Me too” Matt sighs

“What do you wanna do now?” Mark asks and Matt shrugs, he takes one of the card and presses it against his lips, sucking on it lightly and basically trying to hold it there still without any help from his hands “What are you doing?” Mark laughs

Matt wiggles his eyebrows at him and Mark taps him on the knee

“Stop it, I’m not taking it!” He says and Matt brings it down quickly

“You’re just scared you’ll lose!”

“Hey! I can do that just fine! Alright? Elise and I used to play that game all the time!” Mark says, trying to justify himself and Matt laughs “While naked in bed, actually”

“Then prove it!” He says and does it again, Mark cocks an eyebrow at him and leans in, he places both hands on the floor by Matt’s sides and places his lips on top of the card that Matt is holding against his own. Mark sucks on his lightly as well and pulls it back a little, without getting too far away before it falls between them “See” Matt laughs “You can’t do it”

“Just let me try it again” Mark says loudly without moving

“There’s no excuse...” Matt shakes his head, now with a quiet voice as he looks into Mark’s bright blue eyes. Mark smiles and shakes his head too, looking at Matt’s eyes as well, suddenly he goes serious again and his eyes shift between Matt’s eyes and his lips, and the younger man notices. “You’re thinking about kissing me right now, aren’t you?” Matt asks with a little smirk and Mark gulps

“What, no, I…”

“You haven’t moved yet” Matt shakes his head, still looking into Mark’s eyes. He takes a deep breath and doesn’t really know when he throws caution to the wind, but when he does, he grabs the top of Matt’s button down and pulls him in, giving him a stormily kiss neither of them saw coming. Mark bites on Matt’s bottom lip and Matt sits up more straight, placing his large hand on Mark’s neck. Mark presses more into him, taking in the younger man's scent and nibbling Matt's upper lip. Mark pulls back, his lips slightly pink already

“I…” He says, sitting back down onto his legs “I am so sorry, I…”

"No no no" Matt starts quietly, pulling him in again "Don't be sorry, you're doing great, Marky..." Mark melts into Matt's touch when he brings his hand to caress the hairline on his neck "You don't need to be sorry" Matt whispers to him and Mark leans his forehead on Matt's, ghosting their lips over each other's "Am I gonna have to be the one to kiss you this time?" Matt asks with his eyes closed and Mark draws in a shaky breath, he doesn't answer, but Matt closes the gap between the two again and kisses Mark carefully, slow, patient, careful.

Mark kisses him back, but then his lips start to tremble against Matt's and he doesn't move again, Matt pulls back, noticing something is wrong "I... I'm sorry" Mark stutters out

"Don't ever be sorry for a boy, Mark" Matt chuckles, taking lint off Mark's shirt, trying to imagine Mark without it somehow, he looks up and both pairs of blue eyes meet “Mark” Matt says, quietly, interrupting his thoughts “It’s okay, I swear”

“You’re my boss!” Mark says a little peeved, putting his hands on his lap “As if you hadn’t been hitting on me so heavily lately, like…” He says confused, looking out the window, trying to think of a distraction “I should know better than this, I can’t lose my job over sex!”

“Mark, you know that isn’t up to me, right?” Matt says “This is a porn company! You and Audrey sleep all the time, I know it!”

“Audrey isn’t paying my bills! I actually make really sure that doesn’t happen”

“Mark, no one has a policy here, I get that you're not comfortable, but don't blame this on the job..."

"It's... It's not that I don't like it, I mean, you" He says and Matt chuckles "Hell, look at you, I... I could go on, Matt, I'm just not sure if it'd be the right thing, at least not right now..."

"I see" Matt nods "Are you confortable with..." Matt starts but Mark looks at him confused, until Matt pointed to his private parts

"Oh" Mark says realizing what he meant "Honestly, no, I... I consider myself bisexual, so..." He tells him, nodding to himself

"Good" Matt nods

"I... I just need to go..." Mark says getting up, he straights down his shirt "Bye" He waves quickly at Matt and walks out the door, not giving Matt time to do anything about it

“Can I have my queen of hearts back now?” Matt shouts back at him after the door is closed

***

Toni and Paul were coming back from school, Paul on his bike and Toni on her skateboard, when they passed by the house of a friend of Paul’s, so now he’s in her front lawn, his bike on the ground by the grass as Toni tries doing tricks with her skateboard. She hasn't done much tricks lately, she doesn't ride as much anymore as she did when she was twelve or fourteen, it was a nice way to cope with her mom passing away at first, getting out of the house and having something to do, but now it was just a quick way to go to and back from school, it wasn't that much fun anymore.

At one point she falls with her knee onto the asphalt and scrapes it. Toni hisses to herself to cope with the pain, which is berable. Her yellow cap has fallen off her head and she reaches out to grab it. She gets up, picks up her skateboard and the cap, remembering the day Tom gave it to her earlier that year, and to stop and think, 80% of the caps she owned were given to her by Tom, or at least stolen from him. She looks over to her brother and sees he’s still flirting with the girl as she sits by her sun lounger. Toni rolls her eyes and walks up to them.

“Hey, Paul” Toni says, placing the cap backwards on her head again, the skateboard under her arm “I’m gonna go okay, I’ll see you at home”

"What happened to your knee?" The girl in the bikini asks concernedly, but Toni just shrugs it off

"I just scraped it, it's not much"

"I have a first aid kit inside, I'll go get it for you..."

"No, don't bother" Toni says quickly "Really, I'll clean it myself when I get home"

"Okay" The girl nods

"Be careful" Paul says and she nods

“Okay, I’ll see you at home” He says fixing his own cap on his head again and says goodbye to the girl too before she rolls down the street. She makes her usual way towards Starbucks near her house, and when she gets there, she quickly jumps off her skate and picks it up, going into the store, not giving a damn about her slightly bleeding knee. Toni opens the door and stops surprised when something else stops her

“Hey” Dylan is staring at her from the door, his venti cup of coffee on his hand “There you are” He says smirking at her

“Oh no” She openly says “Dylan, please get out of my way” Toni pleads “I wanna get my coffee and not be bothered, please”

Dylan shook his head, closing the door behind himself and not letting her in “Let me take you out, just one date!”

“No” Toni shakes her head

“Let me buy you coffee!"

“No!” Toni laughs “I don’t even want to drink anything anymore, I just wanna go home, okay?” She says turning away, her skateboard still under her arm as she walks back into the empty street, she rolls her eyes when she feels him following her.

“Where do you live?” He asks, catching up with her steps

“Does it matter?”

“Maybe” Dylan shrugs, still following her.

“Please stop following me” Toni asks, turning into a street she doesn’t normally go into, just trying to throw him off

“I won’t until you give in” Dylan says and Toni shakes her head

"You think I'm trying to be cute? I'm not, I don't like you..." Toni tells him

"You still like Shawn?"

"I loved Shawn, but there's a reason we're not togther anymore..."

"He didn't make you satisfied..."

"What?" Toni asks with a frown and Dylan opens two fingers over his mouth, licking the in-between, as if he was eating pussy

"God, Dylan, that's disgusting!" Toni shouts peeved "You're disgusting!"

"One date!"

"No" Toni shouts again "Get out of my way!" She says jumping on her skateboard and running down the street as fast as she can, and she knows he won’t ever keep up to her like this

“I am still gonna convince you! You will see!” He yells after her, giving up to run after her.

Toni turns into another couple of streets that makes her go into detour; until she goes into an alleyway between two buildings, she jumps off her skate and keeps walking down, the trashcans smelling like dirt and fume. There is a wired fence at the end of the alley, it looks like it gives no harm though. Toni looks back and decides to go on since it was a long way back. She sees a rip at the wires and figures out she can go through, she removes her cap and throws it with the skateboard through the hole, she then puts her body through it, but stops when something pulls her back

“Fuck!” Toni shouts when she feels her hair getting stuck in the wire “Oh no, man!” She whines “I can’t believe this is happening” She says trying to untangle her fresh blonde hair that was still sort of damaged by the dye from the wire.

Toni sighs as she gives up after some solid five minutes of pulling her hair out, she pulls her skateboard close again so she can sit on it, leaning her head to the side from still being stuck. She tries texting Paul, but he doesn’t answer, she goes on Twitter and Instagram, just waiting for the time her brother will answer her.

It has been well past twenty minutes when she sees a pair of black converses stopping behind her phone. Toni looks up and sees Frank standing in front of her

“What the hell are you doing?” He asks with a light chuckle at the end, his black hair falling into his face as he cranes his neck to look at her

“I got stuck?” Toni says pointing to her head, showing him the tangled hair to the fence.

“Oh my” Frank laughs audibly and shakes his head, kneeling down on her side

“It’s not funny” Toni says, crossing her arms defensibly across her chest

“I’m sorry” Frank says, taking a look “I’ll get you out of there”

“Thank you” Toni smiles

“Your hair is really dry” Frank points out, continuing to do his job “Have you done anything on it after you bleached?”

“You understand about hair?” Toni asks

“More than you do, apparently” He answers “Baby, I don’t have this amazing hair for nothing” Frank chuckles flipping his hair back. Toni laughs and shakes her head, then he gets up and stands back “You’re free” Frank smiles and Toni gets up, rubbing her hair and her scalp, looking back at the stop she was attached to just before

“Thank you so much!” Toni smiles at the down, for the first time ever not being separated by him for a counter. She eyes his clothes, dark jeans and an oversized black shirt with holes on them “Never thought you would be a black shirt black skirt Bauhaus stuck in your head kind of guy”

“What?” Frank laughs

“Nothing, that just sounded like something someone would say” Toni shrugs

Frank chuckles “Go figure” He says and places his hands into his jeans pockets, then he frowns "What happened to your knee?"

Toni looks down, noticing now that blood was dripping from her knee and into her leg, she makes a face and looks at Frank, being shorter than her "Oh yeah, I scraped it when I was riding the skate, that's all, it's not much..."

"You're bleeding!" Frank points out

"My house is not far from here, I'll get it cleaned"

"No, come on, my house is on the next block, we can get you patched up over there..." Frank tells her "Come on, you can't walk around like that..."

Toni sighs, but she gives in "Okay, it's your call..." She says picking up her skateboard and placing it under her arm, walking away with him "I’m sorry if that sounded rude, before about the shirt and the skirt...”

“It’s okay” Frank shakes his head, not looking at her "It was funny"

“You always go from home to work and back home again? You don’t go to school or anything?”

“I’m twenty-one, actually…” Frank tells her

“Oh” Toni says back in surprise

“Yeah, but I was homeschooled for the second half of high school anyway, so…” He shrugs “I just barely leave my house, that’s all…”

“Don’t you have any friends?” Toni grows worried “You seem alone in that old house”

“I live with my uncle, so it’s not a big deal” Frank shrugs again “I don’t have any friends, I think this is the first time I actually leave the house in a regular basis, I figured it was time to start making some, you know?”

“Why did you never leave?” Toni asks a bit curious, still following him “Are you a vampire? A werewolf? Or some cool shit like that?” Toni laughs “You know, my dad’s best friend wrote that alien book that everyone is talking about…”

“Sekret Machines?” Frank asks, looking at her and Toni nods

“Yeah, so let’s just say that I hear a lot about those stories” Toni laughs and Frank chuckles at her, but then he suddenly stops, Toni notices and stops as well, turning herself to him “Did something happen? Did I say something wrong?” She asks, but Frank shakes his head

“No, it’s… We just know each other like this but I don't exactly know much about you, you know?" Frank shrugs "I know you're in high school, you like to skateboard and you have a brother, that is all"

"Well, I don't know much about you either besides the fact that you work at Starbucks, honestly..." Toni replies “Let's do it like this then, just talk to me...” Toni smiles as she keeps walking when Frank starts moving again “Tell me some stuff about yourself…”

"Why?" Frank frowns

"Because we're going to your house and are you gonna let a stranger in there?"

"You're right" Frank laughs a bit nervous “Okay, but you go first”

“Me?” She asks pointing to her own chest and he nods “Sure, hm. I was born here in San Diego, I am seventeen years-old, I am a Cancer and I am a twin, but I also a have an older brother who lives in San Francisco... I like to sing and I have no aspirations for the future whatsoever. My dad writes adult movies and my mom…” She starts, but then stops to take a deep breath “My mom passed away when I was ten, she was an engineer and she was born in Colombia, but my grandparents moved to America when she was very little, I mean, my grandpa is American, he just brought my mom and my grandma with him… My favorite band is Panic! At The Disco, and my favorite meme is Pepe the frog”

“Cool” Frank laughing and nodding

“What about you?”

“Well, I…” He takes a deep breath “I was born in New York…”

“Really?” Toni asks and Frank smiles, nodding at her “That’s cool”

“Thanks” Frank says and continues “I was born in New York, I have a younger sister who comes see me every summer and starting New Years she will move in with us. I used to go to boarding school, and then I got kicked out and moved in here with my uncle after he got into an ugly accident” Frank nods “I play guitar, I love coffee, I love to read, my favorite TV show, as well as my sister’s is Gilmore Girls” Frank smiles as he looks at Toni paying attention to him “My favorite band is Against Me!” He continues “I really want to be become a vegan soon, my favorite memes are always the SpongeBob ones and… And I’m transgender…”

Toni stops and frowns, Frank looks back at her.

“You are?” She asks and Frank gulps dryly, nodding, as he immediately regrets telling her “Cool, I never met anyone who is transgender before” Toni smiles and starts walking again. Frank feels a huge weight off his shoulders

“You haven’t?” Frank asks and Toni shakes her head “You… You okay with it?”

“Sure” Toni smiles “You’re on Testosterone, right?”

“For almost a year now” Frank nods and Toni fixes the cap on her head

“You takes shot? Does it hurt?”

“Yes, it does” He says and she looks at him again

“What is your Hogwarts house?” Toni asks and Frank smiles again

“I’m a Ravenclaw” Frank chuckles

“Cool, I’m from Gryffindor” Toni says

“No way, you’re a Hufflepuff!"

“Do you even know me?! My last option was Hufflepuff according to the Sorting quiz so take it!” Toni laughs, noticing that now they are reaching Frank’s house, he walks up to the fence and opens the gate, stopping on his way and looking back at Toni

"Come on, let's get inside..." Frank says as he opens up the gate, letting her in

"Thanks" Toni says as she goes in between the trees and reaches up to the front door, he comes from behind her and unlocks it, they both walk in and Toni looks around, noticing the fancy furniture and all the sculptures and the paintings.

"I'm gonna go get the kit in the garage, okay?" Frank asks and Toni nods

"Sure" She says as she sits on the couch in front of the TV, propping her feet on the coffee table and seeing her wound oozing blood yet again, she sighs and looks up at Frank when he comes back "Your house is really beautiful..." She tells him

"Thanks, it's all my uncle's stuff though" He shrugs, sitting by her feet on the coffee table and opening the kit on his lap

"It all looks really expansive..."

"Yeah, my uncle made a lot of money with music in the past, but he's retired now" Frank nods, taking a gauze out "I don't know where he is though, probably went grocery shopping..."

"I see" Toni nods to herself and Frank soaks the gauze on something, Toni frowns

"This will hurt a little" Frank tells her and puts it on her wound, cleaning out the blood around it. Toni lets out a shout but she laughs afterwards, and Frank giggles amused as well "I told you" He says and she shakes her head "I'm gonna put the bandage now" He says and takes a big square patch from the kit, putting it on her knee "I'm doing this just so it doesn't bleed, but you should probably take it out when you get home, let it get some air..." Frank nods and Toni smiles

"Thank you for doing this"

"It's nothing" Frank shrugs

"That is a huge band-aid" Toni laughs

"Yeah, my uncle plays drums so he gets hurt a lot, so that's why we keep it in the garage anyway..." Frank explains to her "Can... Can I ask you something?"

"Sure" Toni answers, admiring her bandage

“Why have you never told me your name?” Frank asks and Toni looks up at him, looking into his brown eyes and frowning

“Because it’s funny to see your reaction when I give a more weird name day after day…” Toni laughs, getting up and picking her skateboard from where she left it by the couch “That’s all; I guess there is no big mystery behind it...”

“Will you ever tell me your real name?” Frank asks as he gets up too and Toni raises an eyebrow

“Maybe, when I know we’re friends enough” She smiles and he laughs as they both start walking towards the front door, Frank opens it for her but she lingers around a little bit more

“What will it take for you to be my friend?”

“You just patched me up” Toni smiles “That must mean something, right?"

"So... Will you tell me?" Frank asks

"We'll see" She smiles as she starts walking out the door

“Okay, but you first” Frank cuts her

**September 16th, 1994**

_Mark slowly opened up his eyes, he looked at his surroundings exhausted, he was paralyzed in some type of white bedroom. He was naked, he was pretty sure of that, but he only notices he was in a hospital after a few seconds._

_“What the…” He started and looked to his side, Tom slept while sitting on a chair, dark bags under his eyes as if this was the first time he slept in a while. He had his head resting against the wall and his knees up to his chest as he hugged them. His fair falling on his eyes innocently._

_Mark smiled sadly_

_“Hey, pooptwat” Mark tried to call him but Tom didn’t even shift “Hey, Tom”_

_Mark’s voice was too weak for that_

_“Hey, Tom, you slut, wake up” He said as he tried to reach Tom with his right hand. He managed to put the tips on his fingers on one of Tom’s knees; suddenly he slowly started to open his eyes_

_Tom’s eyes were so small, so sad, so tired. Mark gulped worried._

_“Mark?” Tom said as he woke up “Mark, oh my God!” He smiled as he ran up to his friend and hugged him tightly, not planning to ever let go “I’m so glad you’re okay, I am so sorry. I’m so sorry, Mark”_

_Mark hugged him back, using just one arm “What happened?”_

_Tom pulls away slowly, he pulls his chair closer and sits again on it, getting closer to Mark and holding his right hand “We were surfing and… I don’t know, but we think that you somehow passed out and you fell back and the stream took you to these rocks where you hit your head and your arm really bad…” He explains as he looks down guiltily “I’m sorry, you know how I feel about you… Right? You do, don’t you?”_

_Mark frowns “I remember I was sick and I still went surfing anyway… Fuck, what is wrong with me?!? How could I be this irresponsible?”_

_Tom gulps “I made you come”_

_“Come on, Tom, you know it’s not you...” Mark said squeezing his hand “And yes, I love you too, Tom” Mark smiled at Tom, who blushed right away and jumped a little to kiss Mark’s lips, wanting him to be sure he felt like that and that he would as long as they were friends. Mark was the one to pull back when the doctor walked into the room._

_“Oh! Look who’s awake!” He said exclaiming_

_“Yeah, he just did wake up, actually” Tom said getting up, walking away from Mark a little “Gonna go call his parents…” He said excusing himself “Leaving you to hm, check him up” Tom said and Mark saw how he was holding himself to just not make a joke._

_Mark fixed the sheets and the robe around him; that was when he noticed his left arm just wouldn’t move at all. He frowned and the doctor positioned himself by his side. This man was short and he a medium-dark-white skin that maybe he was an Indian decedent? Maybe Hispanic or Brazilian, Mark wasn’t sure which. He ruffled his dark hair before taking Mark’s pad out of the foot of the bed._

_“Mr. Hoppus” He said taking a sigh “Your boyfriend practically came running after the ambulance, we were forced to take him in even if soaking wet from the water” The doctor said and shook his head with a smile on his lips._

_“Yeah” Mark took a deep breath “He can be really caring most of the time. Or always” He said with a chuckle at the end, staring at the door where he last saw the boy._

_“So, hm, Tom and I got talking a little and he explained you were already sick and then you remember what happened afterwards?”_

_“Hm, yeah, I remember I felt dizzy but I still went after him and then the wave came and I fell, I remember being dragged by the water and I knew I was getting closer to the rocks and I put my arm around my head to protect it and the other trying to just grab to something” Mark tried to move his arm again, but it was still unmovable “Hm, my arm, what happened?”_

_The doctor smiled sadly and started to pull off Mark’s bandages on his arm “It makes a lot of sense. I think you hit your head, but your arm protected it”_

_Mark’s jaw dropped when he saw his red wrist, a giant cut across the back of his hand, some parts even in raw meat. His hand was destroyed._

_“You still got a deep cut on the side of your head, but this could be your face and head now” The doctor said as he undid the bandages for his hand “It would either be your hand or your life. You would’ve died with a cut and wounds like these on such critical area like the head”_

_Mark’s eyes pool with tears “What? But… I… My hand!”_

_“You’re lucky you got to keep all your fingers” The doctor said and pulled a chair closer to talk to Mark “I’m sorry son, but what do you work with? You go to college or…?”_

_“I… I used to go to college” He said as he cleaned a tear away with the back of his other hand “I used to study English literature but I dropped out to… To follow my dream and play bass, I… Tom and I have a band together and we... We have a full-length out and we were going to go on tour a few weeks from now...”_

_The doctor’s face turned into an even sadder one “I’m sorry, Mr. Hoppus, but you won’t be able to play bass again, or to do any sort of medium or heavy manual work with that hand. I’m really sorry”_

_Midsentence Mark had already started to sob his eyes out. No blink?!? No band?!? No tours, no vans, no nights on the side of the road as he looked at his and Tom’s name on flashing headlights. No nothing._

_He covered his eyes from the shame._

_The doctor got up “Mr. Hoppus, you want me to leave?”_

_Mark looked up momentarily “Call Tom here” He said against his hand, but the doctor only frowned “Get me Tom!” Mark practically yelled as the tears got back into his cheeks_

_The doctor only nodded "A nurse will be here soon to change your bandages" He said before leaving the room, Tom came back in running after a couple of minutes_

_“Oh my God, Mark, are you okay?” Tom said as he hugged Mark, who was now soaking his shirt wet “Shit, I can’t believe he told you with no one around, fuck, I swear t…”_

_“Shut up, Tom” Mark said sobbing “Our band is fucking over! Can you just shut the fuck up?!?”_

_Tom pulled away; he sat at the edge of Mark’s bed and cleaned his tears away with his thumb, a few already going down his cheeks. In that moment Mark saw Tom was just as devastated as he was, he was just as desperate as he was, if not more. Way more._

_Tom carefully cupped Mark’s face in his hand as the older boy stared at him. Tom leaned in and kissed him carefully, like he always did, but this time, this time there was something different about it._

_Tom pulled back and rested his forehead against Mark’s. Their tears mixing in together._

_“I’ll love you no matter what, with band or no band, I still love you anyway, you hear me?” Mark takes a look into Tom’s eyes, which are honest. He knows this is also Tom’s dream, and he’s leaving it all cause of him, his stupid, pathetic self._

_Mark only pulls him into a hug, not planning to let go so soon._


	7. December 13th-15th, 2016

Mark spends the weekend with his family, monday night he and Audrey decide to hang out a little, so he sleeps over at her house. He goes back home the next morning and spends the entire day feeling oddly empty, he notices he has been writing a lot of kissing scenes, he's been focusing on dressed foreplay and he tries not to think about dark blonded guys wearing button downs for his stories. He tries to write about something else, but it's useless, there isn’t much inspiration besides that at the moment since his head seems like a confused war fight. Audrey is busy, Tom vanished, Matt didn’t call since the past week and Toni and Paul had gone to school and were going to be back at night, but that was it. He's been stuck in his bedroom, trying to at least write _something._

Anything at all

He sighs while shoving his computer into the nightstand. Mark leans his head into the pillow and looks at the framed pictures on the wall.

He smiles at one in which Elise was hugging the three kids, when they were still young. Right by its side was a picture of him and Tom, jamming together sometime when they were younger. 

Mark remembers it is Tom's birthday, he sighs to himself. Tom hasn't suggested they'd do anything this year, like he usually does, but the past three years he has just wanted to get high and hire a massusse, just this year apparently he has decided to do it alone and maybe make the boy earn some extra _cash_ off him. Mark sits up, he could use a break from all this stuff, this heavy weight and all this useless writing, watch a little movie, before giving up and making a script out of random things.

Without hesitation he picks up the phone and calls Tom

"Hey" Tom says, voice tired

"Are you high?"

"What? No!"

"Then happy birthday!!!" Mark shrieks at the other end and Tom laughs 

"Thanks" Tom smiles

"I guess you're busy tonight, right?"

"Hm, actually I already did all my birthday plans on the weekend, so I was just planning to sit home and watch a movie, maybe order a pizza..."

"You made birthday plans without the Hoppuses?!?" Mark laughs, pretending to be offended "How dare you?!"

"Mark, I stayed the weekend at an..."

"Oh my God, if you fucked a dude, I don't wanna hear it" Mark laughs

"Okay then" Tom shrugs "I can give you a contact"

"God no" Mark says and they both laugh "Where are Matt and David?" Mark asks

"Matt has travelled to Boston, spend the holidays with his family so I gave him a couple of weeks off" Tom explains "And David is in Anaheim for a competition of sorts"

"I see" Mark nods to himself "So you're doing nothing?"

"Nope"

"Can I come over?"

"Yup"

"I'll be there in twenty" Mark says and hangs up the phone

***

Tom opens the door and sees Mark beholding a croissaint in his hand, a candle stuck on it while lit 

"You brought me a birthday croissant! Aw!" Tom smiles and puts it out, Mark laughs as he does so, taking out the candle and throwing it on the porch 

"They didn't have any muffins at Starbucks..." Mark explains himself "It was that or a birthday apple juice"

"You're right on time anyway. I just made popcorn!" He says letting Mark come in, Sally runs up to Mark

“Hey big girl!” Mark smiles as he kneels down to play with her and she jumps on top of him “I missed you girl, tell daddy to let you come to uncle Mark’s house next time, huh?” Mark asks and looks up at Tom, waiting to see his reaction _“Please daddy, uncle Mark really misses me!”_ Mark fakes a puppy voice and pouts, looking up at Tom. Tom shakes his head and smiles down at his friend 

“You’re so weird, Mark” Tom tells him. Mark gets up and that's when he realizes he hasn't been to Tom's house in a while. He’s gotten a new gorgeous stone floor, Mark notices when he misses the comfy carpet against his feet 

“When did you change the floor?” He asks with a frown

Tom shrugs, eating his popcorn “Four, five months ago? It was even before I went to Europe, man! It’s way better for Sally like this...” Mark’s eyes widen, it has been a fuck long time, for what it seems. He turns on the TV and puts on the disc. He and Tom just sit and watch the propagandas at the beginning. "Did you finish your story?" Tom asks as he pulls a blanket over both of them, Sally quickly moves to snuggle up against Mark; he shakes his head as he cuddles back into her, shaking the cold away.

“Yeah, I did” Mark nods “I don’t think they’re gonna buy it though”

"You shouldn't rush things, Mark" Tom explains "You still have time to write some more…"

"I haven't been able to, Tom, you know that... Plus, Paul and Toni are going to college next year, I need the money, and I need it now"

Tom sighs "I just don't want to see you kill yourself over it..."

Mark smiles sadly "It's just what I gotta do, Tom" He explains and turns back to the movie

After a while, Tom decides to speak again

"Well, have you tried to write other things?"

Mark frowns and looks back at his friend "Like what?"

"You could write short stories, we could even publish them on Strange Times! I can talk to my publishers and you can release a book under our label, or something..."

Mark shakes his head "I know shit about aliens, Tom"

"Yeah, but still, you can really write about anything. You could write fantasies, you know? We could expand the business and it can start with you"

"Tom, porn is all I know how to write, I can't write shit fantasy without dragon humping! I started writing a novel ages ago and you know that it never went anywhere, anyway…"

Tom laughs "Write a porn book then!"

"I can't even write video porn which is, by the way, the most superficial type of porn... How the fuck should I write a book?!?"

Tom sighs defeated "Okay, if you think you're right..."

"I should just get a normal job already!" Mark throws his head back

"Hey, don't say that" Tom says with a soft voice "You're great at what you do"

"Really?" Mark looks up at his friend and Tom frowns

"Well, at least you used to..." He says and Mark laughs bitterly, shaking his head.

"Let's just watch the goddamn movie" Mark requests and leans his head on Tom's chest. Tom lets him as Mark’s arms wrap around him, at some point Tom starts caressing Mark’s hair, he doesn’t know when, probably after the popcorn finished.

Tom doesn’t stop playing with Mark’s hair until the first movie is done. Tom turns off the Tv and looks at a sleepy Mark on him.

He puts an arm around his friend, holding him, he brushes the hair out of Mark's face and leans into him

"Goodnight, Marky" Tom says before leaving a kiss on his hair and going to sleep like that

***

Toni races up behind her ex-boyfriend, jumping onto his back. He flunges back but keeps his balance while holding her still

“Hey there big guy” She laughs

“Toni, please get down” The chubby tall boy with brown hair and brown eyes in a leather jacket rolls his eyes and Toni frowns as she gets down 

“Is something wrong?” Toni asks concerned but Shawn keeps walking, she goes faster to keep up with his pace. He doesn’t answer “Dude, please tell me”

“Well, I don’t know” Shawn says rolling his eyes “Maybe the fact I’ve been trying to talk to you for like two weeks, just so you could turn me down again, I guess”

“Shawn, I j…” Toni starts, but he cuts her off

“You can change your hair, but you can’t change it that you like me and that you dated me. For six months, that is longer than what all people in this school have gotten”

“That’s not true” Toni frowns, Shawn starts walking away and she keeps up the pace to follow and keep up to him “I sort of need your help with something”

Shawn stops in the middle of the hallway, he looks at her, and then he frowns “With what?”

“With Dylan” She says quickly, Shawn pauses on his steps and bites his tongue, looking at her 

“With Dylan from Trig?” Shawn asks confused 

“Yeah!” Toni nods 

“Dylan, the guy with the weird blonde pharmacy hair?” Shawn asks confused

“The one”

“What about him?”

“He… He followed me home yesterday and was basically chashing me down the street” Toni says, Shawn frowns and then shakes his head. “Can you ask him to stop?” Toni asks a bit nervously, Shawn pulls his backpack tighter on his shoulders and contemplates a little about what to do, he starts nodding after a while 

“I will go talk to him, try to scare him, don’t worry about it” Shawn says “Just text me back the next time I try to talk to you goddamn it” 

Toni nods “Fair deal” She says and puts out her hand for him to shake. He just takes a look at it and points at her hand stretched out 

“I’m not doing it” He says and starts walking away, Toni only rolls her eyes and starts walking away the opposite direction

***

Mark by this point is just awaiting for an answer from his job, but nothing seems to come, and of course, he starts to get worried.

He sits in the kitchen, a cup of coffee in his hands and a frown on his face, Toni comes running down the stairs and opens the fridge “Hey dad” She says, not really paying attention to him

“Hey” He says back “Had fun at school?”

“Sure” She shrugs as she closes it with a piece of chocolate in her hands “I… I was talking to Tom last night, I was wondering if I could travel with him?” 

Mark looks up with a frown “What?” He laughs

“Yeah, you know the big foot expedition he makes every year? He invited me to go with him this time…” Toni explains as she takes a bite from her chocolate 

Mark nods “Yeah, it’s okay, why wouldn’t I let you go?” 

"I don't know" Toni shrugs as she chews on the candy "I never said I thought you wouldn't let me go..."

"Oh" Mark says "Just go have fun, sweetie" He smiles as she comes up to him, giving him a kiss on the cheek 

"Thanks, I'm gonna go ride the skate a little outside, okay?"

"Sure" Mark nods as she leaves, he hears the empty noise outside for a while and sighs to himself, until his phone starts ringing 

Mark answers it with shaking hands

Mark doesn't even get invited to get kicked on the ass this time. He receives a call straight from the boss himself.

"Mark, you're going back again..." He breathes into the phone "I'm sorry, we can't buy this... It's just... It's just horrible, Mark, this is ridiculous"

Mark sighs; he can feel a lump on his throat as he sits on his kitchen, all alone.

"It's okay, Matt. I promise to get better!" He says as he begs to his boss “I’ll go see your pig!”

“What?” Matt chuckles “This has nothing to do with the pig. I'm sorry but the company wants to drop you" The man told him sadly.

Mark's eyes widen, he sees his world crashing in front of his eye

"What?!? I... Am I being fired?" He asks tonelessly

"I'm afraid so, yes" Matt says a little apogetically "I'm sorry Mark but we gotta make way for people who are actually having a comeback, you know?"

Mark shakes his head "What am I supposed to do now?" He asks with tears in his eyes "This is all I know how to do!! I have a fucking injured hand!!!" Mark screams into the phone "I can't do manual labor!"

Matt takes a deep breath

Mark cleans his tears with the back of his hand "I am useless without porn! You hear me?!?"

"Mark, I..."

"I… You’re a good guy Matt, I… I don’t wanna scream at you or blame you for shit, you’ve already helped me enough…

Mark could almost hear him nodding on the other side “I know, thank you, Mark. I… I just really gotta go now, alright? Annie and I are travelling to LA for a wedding, you can call me later if you want, alright?”

“Yeah whatever” Mark shrugs “Goodbye, Matt” Mark says with a shaking voice and hangs up; he brings up his legs to his chest and buries his face between them, crying his eyes out.

"Dad? Are you okay?" He hears and looks up to see Paul standing by the kitchen door

"Paul, oh my God!" Mark opens his arms “Come here” He says welcoming his son into a hug. Paul awkwardly hugs him back; he cups his kid’s face into his hands, watching him 

"What happened? You don’t look okay" Paul asks concerned

"I... I just got fired..." Mark explains "But it's okay, I guess..."

Paul’s mouth drops "What?!?"

"Please let's not talk about this right now, let's just... let's just pretend nothing happened and you will be the only one knowing about this, alright?"

Paul nods "It's okay, dad"

"Let's go then" Mark says tapping on Paul's arm, ignoring the heavy load on his back.

"Where?" Paul frowns 

"Just take me anywhere"

***

Toni walks into Starbucks, she has her hoodie wrapped around her waist and her hair in piggy tails as she is wearing another cap again. She stops by the door when she notices the store is empty, there is no one sitting down, or ordering, or with their computers or their phones. She walks further inside and sees Frank by the register, she smiles and walks up to him. He stops cleaning the counter and notices it is her who is just ready to order, he smirks at her. 

“Look at who it is” He says amused and she smiles again “What do you want today?”

“Tea” She says simply “I’ll let you choose for me...”

Frank nods and giggles “Fair enough. So,” he starts as he grabs the cup and the pen “What is your name?” He asks curiously

 _“Thunder”_ Toni says without thinking twice. Frank takes a deep breath, he tries to play it cool but Toni notices the disappointment on his expression. He writes it down and looks to his left, waiting for someone to pick up the order, but right now the store is empty and he’s alone. 

Frank sighs and moves towards the back of the machine “I’ll get it ready for you” He sighs and starts getting things going. 

Toni stands by the bar awkwardly as she watches the boy prepping it up for her, Frank finally comes up to her with the drink ready and he hands it over to her “Here you go, _Thunder_ ” He says gesturing his hands to the air and trying to play it cool, but obviously upset

Toni takes a deep breath as she sees Frank walking back to his place “Elise” She says simply. Frank stops in his tracks and walks back up to her

“What?” 

“My real name is Elise” She says “It was my mom’s name”

Frank smiles and nods “That’s a pretty name...”

“But you can call me Toni” She tells him and he smiles even more, putting both his hands on his green apron’s pockets and looking down at his feet embarrassed "I don't like being called that..."

"Fine by me" Frank smirks “I am so sorry I put you through this game, I shouldn’t be forcing you to do this...”

“You didn’t” Toni shakes her head “I played it because I really wanna know what is the shit you put on your hair…” She says and Frank lets out a loud, high-pitched laugh "Come on! It just looks really really soft!"

“Let’s do it like this...” He smirks and grabs the permanent marker from one of the pockets of his apron, taking her plastic tea cup away from her. Frank bites onto the cap and scribbles down his number on the clear plastic, he caps the pen again and puts it away. He smirks as he hands the tea back to Toni “Give me a call, and I’ll tell you all my hairstyle secrets”

Toni smirks back “Sound good” She says as a group of teenagers walk into the store.

***

Mark meets up with Audrey for lunch the next day, it is a day off for her so she has reserved the morning for him in the middle of a busy week.

"I don't know what to do, Audrey!" Mark explains "I gotta be rehired, porn is all I know how to do! Worst of all I can’t even call Matt cause he’s in LA for a party or some bullshit crap"

"Okay, apparently you're not good with this anymore, so we gotta think something new for you..."

"We need something that will change _everything!_ " Mark says brainstorming as he sits on one of the stool on her kitchen "But what?"

Audrey thinks "Girl on girl porn? Exorcist porn? Hm, animal porn?"

"First, I've had no experience whatsoever. Second, creepy" Mark says and then looks at her disgusted "And third, fuck no!"

"It's a thing if you still haven't heard of it" Audrey laughs

"No, I... It should be something realistic, that people really connect to!"

"You know what's not creepy, not disgusting and you've actually had experience on it?" Audrey asks

Mark ponds for a while "What?"

"Gay porn?" She smirks

"What?!?" Mark asks surprised "No! No fucking way!"

"Why?" Audrey laughs "It's not like you've never done it"

"Shut up" Mark says, but this time he's not laughing, he's not joking.

"It might be time to start rethinking it, Marky" Audrey whispers to him "You're not being the most straight person in the world lately either, and you've always told me you're bi anyway..."

"Look, I'm leaving" Mark gets up offended "Call me when you get your shit straight again" He says and leaves her house just as frustrated as when he comes in. He gets into his car and drives off to nowhere in particular. 

Should he go see Tom? No, he definitely should not see Tom right now. Should he drive to San Francisco and see Joe? No, he would be too busy. 

Mark sighs; Audrey is the one person that he can trust this kind of stuff to, maybe Tom but not right now.

He taps the steering wheel with force, stop thinking about Tom! You idiot! That is not going to help you! He thinks about calling Matt but, business-wise, it’s gonna be useless, and... Stop thinking about Matt too! It's not gonna take you anywhere, you're mad at him, remember? Mark tries to shake it off his head and stops at a sign. A little ahead two guys stop in front of a car and kiss. One of them puts his hands on the back of the other one’s head, pulling him in. The other one smiles into the kiss and strokes the other one’s arm. 

Mark shakes his head; he winces and looks down at his boner.

_Fuck!_

***

**October 3rd, 1994**

_Tom gasps; he then takes a deep breath, closing his eyes, shaking his head to shake away the bad feeling._

_He and Mark were in the middle of a fight, this wasn’t like anything else they’ve discussed before. There were things being thrown around, some even broken. Now, both of them were sitting side-by-side on the kitchen floor, Mark’s hair was a mess and he had red bruises on his left arm from squeezing it so much himself. Tom wondered if people would think he hit on Mark, but he was too busy to think that now._

_Mark’s left hand was trembling, still red and swollen, fresh scars._

_It had been two months since the accident; a lot had changed since then. Mark really did get colder, and not that he avoided Tom, but it seemed like he just needed time for himself. The band was done, it looked like neither of them had actual purpose in life. Tom looked forward to just finish the last year of high school; Mark had to start thinking about a job, or maybe going back to college? Tom also felt incredibly guilty and didn’t want to stay away from Mark a single second, watching over him, being protective._

_Mark cleans the tears away from his cheek and Tom looks at his boyfriend, wishing he could just make it all go away with a snap of his fingers_

_“Mark, you…” He started as his voice broke “You can’t push me away like this cause you know I love you and I… I can’t stand seeing you like this!”_

_“Tom, I’m fine!”_

_“Crying like that?!?” Tom asks as he wipes his own tears “I think you’re not” Tom shakes his head and looks into Mark’s eyes, hoping he understands, but the older boy looks away, leaving Tom with desperation in his features._

_“Tom… I… I need time, I told you that”_

_“But Ma…”_

_“I think we should break up!” Mark then finally looks back at Tom, covering his mouth, almost as if he didn’t want those words out, his hand keeps trembling as it is in front of his lips, but then he takes the courage and repeats it “I really think we should, and I’m sorry”_

_Tom’s eyes fill up with tears, they spill and he shakes his head, his thin lips shaking as his skin turns to red_

_“I know this is clichéd and I swear it isn’t to make you feel any better but I really want you to be my friend, Tom” Mark says as he cleans he reaches out to clean Tom’s tears with his thumb, caressing his cheek with his fingertips, Tom can only look down to his feet “I don’t want to lose you, Tom” He says, but his voice breaks when saying the younger boy’s name_

_“Why are you even breaking up with me then?” Tom asks annoyed, shoving Mark’s hand away “Huh? Just so you can feel better about me?”_

_Mark bites his lip “Tom, I know that if you were in the same situation as me you would do the same. You would ask me the same thing”_

_“So you know how broken I feel” Tom says, his face buried between his arms as he places them on top of his raised knees._

_Mark puts a hand on top of Tom’s hair and caresses it “I’m sorry, babe” He sighs and scoots closer, hugging Tom “I’m so fucking sorry” He says once again and starts sobbing with his friend “We need this time to grow, alright?”_

_Tom doesn’t answer, he just keeps sobbing, but he makes Mark gasp when he flunges into a hug, wrapping his arms around the older one’s neck and sobbing into his shoulder.  
Mark was taken aback, he blinked a few times, trying to process it, it was done, and it was all his fault. He placed a hand on the back of Tom’s head and soaked in his smell one last time, his head too clouded to actually memorize it._

_“I love you so much, Mark” Tom says between his sobs “You have no fucking clue”_

_Little did he know that time would last forever_


	8. December 16th-18th, 2016

Mark’s hair drips water onto his face, he watches something on TV uninterested. Toni and Paul come in through the front door and he stands still. 

“Are you okay, dad?” Paul asks as he walks up to the limpy man on the couch

Mark looks at him "Yea” He nods quickly and looks back at the screen

Toni goes to the kitchen and Paul goes upstairs to his room. She comes back to the living room a few minutes later; dropping the duffel bag in her hands onto the floor and sits on the armchair by the couch where Mark sits “Soo…” She starts “Did Tom come by yet?”

Mark frowns “What?”

“Tom...” Toni says casually “Did he come?”

Mark frowns 

“Did he come here, dad?”

“Oh, no” Mark quickly shakes his head, looking at the duffel bag “You’re travelling today?”

“Yeah”

“The sasquatch trip is today?” Mark asks and Toni nods, that’s when the doorbell rings into the awkward silence between the two. The door opens itself and Tom shows up on the doorway, Mark takes a deep breath, biting his lip.

“Hi Marky” Tom smiles at him “Are you ready, Toni?” He asks walking into the house. He takes his jacket off and places it on the table by the door. He’s wearing that black shirt from Germany again. Mark looks at his own hands “The door was open” He says pointing behind himself 

“Yea, just gonna grab my backpack...” She says and walks into the kitchen again

“Hey poopface!” Tom smiles as he slaps Mark on the knee, but Mark looks at him unimpressed, that makes Tom realize something’s wrong “Hey, is everything okay?” He asks as he sits down by Mark’s side.

Mark brings his left hand up to his face, rubbing his eye with his index finger “I am okay, I just…” He takes a deep breath, then he looks at Tom in the eye and tries to smile for his friend “I swear, I’m fine, it was just a tough day”

Mark just can’t bring himself to tell Tom he was fired

Tom doesn’t quite believe him though, but he still nods “Yeah, okay” He says and hugs Mark. Mark looks around, not sure of what to do, he feels a deep thing at the pit of his stomach. Mark sighs and gives in, he puts his hands on Tom’s arm that wraps his chest, he places his head on the inside of his friend’s chest and takes a deep breath, taking in his scent. Tom always wore a shit ton of cologne, and yet, you could still feel his very personal smell that you usually find on clothes and sheets. Mark smiles happily to himself.

Tom notices the little gesture and places his hand on the back of Mark’s head, caressing his hair again. Mark whimpers against his friend’s shirt and Tom leaves a little kiss on his hair.

 _“Shit”_ They hear and pull away as they see Toni standing on the doorway of the kitchen, backpack on her back as she stared at the couch astonished “Hm, can we, Hm, I… Can we go?” She asks pointing to the door.

Tom nods “Bye Mark”

Mark remains speechless, he and Toni exchange confused looks.

 _“Farewell”_ She tells him awkwardly as she runs out the door behind Tom.

“Farewell?” Mark asks confused as soon as she’s out the door

***

Toni and Tom drive in silence through the night, in the back, there’s a boy, she looks back to him as the music plays, he’s got a huge bag on his side, he’s got a shaved head, dark skin and dark, big eyes. He looks sort of Latino, though he’s most likely African-American. Sally is drooling by the window on his opposite side. He looks at Toni observing him from the passenger seat, she freaks and turns back to face the road.

She nervously eyes Tom, who doesn’t seem to take his eyes off the road, he doesn’t seem to care about anything actually. Toni hums a melody, trying to get the older man’s attention, but it’s useless. 

Toni sighs and clicks her tongue “Hm, Thomas?” She asks

Tom doesn’t look at her “Yeah?”

“Who is this guy that is seemingly travelling with us?” Toni asks in a low voice “I thought Matt was coming, and we’re on the road already, so I guess that he’s out of the plan?”

Tom sighs “Matt is meeting us there, but anyway... Toni, That’s Jared. Jared, this is Toni” He says quickly

“That’s it?” She asks without looking at the older man

“What else do you want?” Tom asks annoyed 

“Who is he?!?” Toni yells 

“I… I work for Tom...” Jared says raising his hand, Toni looks back at him 

“This isn’t about you, James!” Toni snaps and turns back to Tom “I am not sharing a tent with a guy I have never seen before”

Tom still doesn’t look at her “Okay”

“I wan… What?”

“Okay, you can sleep alone if you want…”

“Are you insane? We’re going to the middle of a forest and you want me to sleep alone?” Tom nods “I am seventeen!” 

Tom sighs “Well, you can sleep in my tent, how about that?” Tom says turning to her “You are coming! I’m not going back to drop you off!”

Toni puffs and crosses her arms in front of her chest 

The boy shifts nervously on his seat “Can I ju…”

“Shut up, Jason!” Toni says rolling her eyes

***

When they arrive, it’s already 10am of the next day. Tom and Jared shared the wheel through the night after Toni decided to jump to the backseat and sleep with Sally, whenever Sally would let her instead of just licking her face to play in the enclosured space. While Tom was driving, she peaked into Jared’s things and noticed that the big box was a camera, an expansive one for what it seems.

Tom parks his SUV by the curb of the road as he sees a middle-aged woman putting hay on her old and beaten-up pick-up truck. Tom gets out with Sally and walks up to the woman, she smiles and shakes her head. Jared seems to still be asleep on the passenger seat, so Toni opens the door and walks out of the car. The woman gets startled; she pulls a shotgun from under all that hay and cocks the trigger, pointing at Toni. Toni’s eyes widen and she puts both her hands up, without knowing what to do

“Woah, Betty! Calm down! She’s with me!” Tom says desperately, placing himself in front of the gun “She’s with me!” He then says more calmly, Sally runs over to Tom and places herself in front of him, barking up at Betty 

Betty puts down the gun “Who is she? She’s not Katherine!” She says with her heavy southern, redneck accent. Betty has rotten yellow and orange teeth, frizzy blonde hair and burnt skin, empty blue eyes. 

“She’s Toni, she…” Tom says and motions for her to come over “She is my friend’s daughter, I know her since she was born”

Betty eyes her suspiciously from head to toe and nods “She can stay. Will she help me with the cows in the morning?”

“Cows?!?” Toni asks at Tom perplexed

“Yeah, we do farm chores in exchange for stay” Tom says casually and smiles 

“Come on, I’ll give you guys tea before you head off to the hill” Betty says and walks up to the front of the pick-up truck. She starts the engine and Tom comes up to her “I’ll meet y’all by the house”

Tom only nods

***

Tom patiently pours himself a cup of coffee on his thermos later that night; Sally is barking outside as Jared plays with her as Toni clings to her own bottle, staring at Tom with a mad expression on her eyes 

“You are still mad.” Tom notes simply, sipping from his coffee

Toni scoffs “Why didn’t you tell me all of this before?” She asks, gesturing her hands around “I feel like an idiot”

“Because I really wanted you to come” Tom explains calmly to her, screwing back the cap on the thermos “Just enjoy, alright? We’ll settle this later. And stop treating Jared like crap, he’s a nice kid”

“I’m not mad, Tom” She sighs “Maybe we should go outside…” She explains as she and Tom get out of the small tent. “So…” She starts again as they head out the tent, Tom’s long limps flailing around after being for so long in such a small area inside, following the space left between theirs and Jared’s, Sally running up to them “We’re gonna be here for two nights, huh?”

“Yup” Tom nods “Then we help Betty with the chores and leave after lunch”

“Sounds like a plan” Toni says as Tom pulls open the curtains to Jared and Matt’s tent

“Hey, asshat, let’s go” Tom shouts inside and Matt tumbles out of it 

"God, I hate you, stop screaming!" Matt whines, Jared laughs as he gets his camera ready before heading out “We have a long night ahead, I don't need this”

“So, what do you need me to shoot?” Jared asks Tom

“Just us walking around and talking about the conspiracies and what we see” Tom explains 

“So this is what you do?” Toni asks as they start walking into the woods, the fire still crackling around the camp as Tom pulls out his lantern to lead the path “You just tape stuff?”

“Basically yeah” Jared laughs “This is my job”

Matt turns around “Jared is from Egypt” He says “He moved here to go to college, he studies cinema and does all of our videos for YouTube and is an intern when we do our documentaries”

Jared nods “Yeah, that sums up” He explains “What do you do?” He asks Toni

“I… I’m still in high school” She explains 

“But… You have any idea of what you wanna do?” 

Toni shrugs “Not really” She says “I basically just read and play music all day long, I have nothing really planned, even for college... I guess” 

“Oh” Jared says “I’m sure you’ll find something soon”

“Yeah” Toni whispers as they keep walking into the woods.

***

In the morning, Toni and Jared are sitting by a lake, throwing rocks into the river as Tom seems to be alone with Sally and his GoPro somewhere and they wait for him to get back. The two of them share awkward silence, just hearing the sounds of the forest.

“Do you really believe in the big foot?” Toni asks suddenly, Jared looks up to her, with both sides of her bleached hair in braids “Or is it just something of Tom’s fantasy?”

Jared laughs “No, I don’t believe on the big foot, actually” He says and shakes his head “That is on my Strange Times cast profile, in case you haven’t seen it…” He says but Toni only looks at him confused “If you go on the site, it has the file of everyone who works with us, at least the full and part-time people do… And all the theories are like in pictures and the ones we believe are in pop-up. It’s really cool...”

“Oh” Toni says “I had seen that but honestly I only checked Tom, Matt and David’s… Since they’re the only people I actually know right now at Strange Times…”

Jared nods “But I do believe in Aliens, and in Mermaids and in Atlantis…” Jared lists 

“You believe in _Mermaids_?” Toni asks incredulous with a laughter “You’re kidding, right?”

Jared shakes his head “Come to the headquarters someday and I’ll show you, they’re real! Though Tom doesn’t concentrate much on that, I do think Mermaids are exist”

“Okay then” Toni says putting both her hands up “If you say you have proof I believe you”. Jared laughs and nods “So… You’re from Africa then?” 

Jared nods “Yes, I’m from Egypt, moved to America when I was 16 to work, and then I stayed for college…” He explains “I got here and really wanted to work with cinema, hopefully someday I will be a good director and I’ll go back home”

“You don’t like it here?” Toni asks

“No, don’t get me wrong, I love it here” Jared laughs “It’s just that when you leave home so young, you imagine yourself becoming something huge and coming back to impress everyone, you know? I basically grew up with my dad telling me I wouldn’t amount up to anything” Jared explains “Haven’t seen him since the day he dropped me in the airport” He says and looks down at his hands “It’s been almost five years”

“I’m sorry to hear that” Toni says throwing another pebble at the lake “I know I said before I have no aspirations for life, and I really don’t. But I would forever hate myself if my dad told me the truth, which I believe it wasn’t your case…” She explains “I’m tried of trying to find what I’m looking for...”

Jared laughs “You’re like seventeen, right?” He asks and she nods “You still have a lot ahead of you, if I were you, I wouldn’t worry too much…”

“Why?” Toni asks with a frown 

“When I first moved here I used to think I wanted to be a bassist” Jared says and Toni chuckles “I tried to get a band until I realized I wasn’t born to do something ele…” He says and looks down, right after that, a creak comes from inside the woods. Tom stumbles out with the GoPro attached to his head, his hands and face full of mud

“Did you find big foot?” Toni laughs as Tom comes closer 

“Shut up” Tom says as he throws the water from the river onto his foot “I stepped on a porcupine!”

Toni and Jared just laugh

***

“Well, this went good, I guess…” Matt laughs as they head back to the camp “Is your foot okay, Tom?”

Tom nods as he sits by the fireplace, Sally after him, wiggling his tail at him “It will be” He says rubbing his foot over his boot

“You shouldn’t have stepped on that porcupine” Toni says as she crosses her arms in front of him 

“How would I know if I were stepping on one, okay?!?” Tom asks incredulous

“Well, I’m going to bed, alright?” Matt asks as he points back to his tent “If you guys need anything just call me”

"Yeah, I think I'm gonna go too..." Jared says getting up as well 

Toni and Tom nod as he goes away, they say goodnight and Jared closes the zipper to his tent after they both get in with his camera. Toni takes a deep breath before sitting by Tom’s side before the fire, she doesn’t say anything though.

“Is something wrong?” Tom asks concerned “Did I do something wrong?” he asks again and Toni sighs “Are you still mad at me?”

Toni shakes her head “No, I’m not mad. I… I just have something on my mind, that is all…”

“Well, what is it?” Tom asks

“What was happening in the living room there back at home?” She asks in a low voice “You know, before we left…”

Tom shrugs “I was hugging Mark, that’s it” He says with a chuckle at the end 

Toni gives him a look “That’s it?! Best friends don’t hug like that” She shakes her head “Ryden hugs like that, Ferard hugs like that, not you two!”

Tom frowns “Who are these people, Toni?”

Toni brushes off the question “Just ignore what I said, It was just that… You know? It looked like you two were _too_ into it” She says and sighs “I know you both enough to say I think you're shipping material..."

Tom makes a face “A what material?” He says as his voice gets thinner than it already is.

“Shipping” She explains “Shipping material...”

“What the heck is that supposed to mean?” Tom asks confused, he rubs his foot even harder.

Toni sighs “Ah, fuck, how to put it into words? Hm, it means that you’d make a cute couple, I guess”

“WHAT?!?” Tom yells 

Toni’s eyes widen at the scream “Hey! Calm down there, big boy!” She says pointing at him “I can’t believe you would react like that!”

Tom gives her an angry look and wipes his mouth “What the fuck are you saying? You’re telling me you want Mark and I to be together?!?” He asks confused, he doesn’t know how to react. Is he supposed to be angry? To be mad? To play it cool? He honestly has no fucking clue. 

“Tom, it’s just an opinion, you don’t need to follow it” Toni says throwing her hands up, excusing herself “You two just get along so well and you are so caring towards each other that you know, not that I want you two to be together because ew, my dad” She sighs as he listens to her. Tom scoffs as he takes off his boot, throwing it far away, Toni sighs, she should have never said anything, Tom buries his face in his hands, he trembles a little and Toni notices “Are you okay, Tom?”

He raises his head, looking at the empty ahead of him, his hand covering his mouth “If I tell you something, will you fucking promise me to never, never ever, tell your dad I told you this?”

Toni’s jaw dropped, a rush burning within her “Sure, I would never!”

Tom looks at her “Fuck, Toni! Don’t make me do this!”

“I am not telling you to do anything!” She objectives

Tom takes a deep breath “Before your mom and your dad met, let’s just say that your dad and I, hm, we had some, ah…”

“WHAT?!?!?” Toni asks getting up, Sally barks at the sudden movement “You and MY DAD?!?” 

“Shh!” Tom shooshes her, pulling her down “Don’t let Sally wake up Jared and Matt!”

“Please tell me that my mom… Oh God!”

“HEY!” Tom objectives, pointing a finger at her “Never again after your dad met her, you hear me? It was all over already a few months before he even met her”

“So…” Toni says calming down a little “It was just juvenile experimenting then”

Tom looks around confused “Hm, I guess?”

“What? You guys actually dated?” Toni smirked 

“Not really. Hm” Tom scratches the back of his head “We never really put a label on it, to speak the truth”

“Were you two exclusive?”

Tom laughs “Not really, but I do know that attached by the hip the way we were, there could have been no fucking time for other people” He then muses a little in his head, those were really good times.

Toni bit her lip “You loved him?”

Tom turns to her, giving her a long look before nodding a little. She smiles big.

“You can see by the way you talk about him” 

Tom lets her words sink in “I don’t know, lately we’re having these… These lapses where… Well, at least I do, lapses of wanting to smell him and take care of him and hold him, you know? It has never been like this; at least it was never this _hard_ …” Tom explains “And I don’t know why, because I’m not needy, I’m not alone, I do not miss him because I see him every day, practically”

“Don’t ask me, I don’t know either” Toni shrugs “So, my dad is bisexual, huh?”

“I guess” Tom sighs “He never said anything about being with other men after you mom passed away, but I guess he knows he is deep down..." He shrugs, looking up at Toni, fixing his fisherman’s hat on his head

"I guess somehow I always knew about this too..." Toni says 

"About what?"

"You and dad" Toni nods "It makes so much sense..."

Toni laughs awkwardly and Tom looks at her, shaking his head “You really know your way around things. You always did…” he laughs as he looks at her with admiration. 

Toni eyes him and a smile creeps up her lips “If you ever want to just drop it all out to him, I just want you to know, I won’t be the one to hold you back”

“You’re talking about Mark, right?” Tom smiles and she nods “Don’t go believing that’s gonna happen, honey” He says sadly, looking at his hands “At least not so soon”

Toni laughs and scoots closer, wrapping her arm around Tom’s and leaning her head on his shoulder, he leans his head against hers as well

“I am so happy that you told me that…” She says and Tom chuckles “So so happy…”


	9. December 22nd-23rd, 2016

“Come on, Matty! Smile for me!” Tom says as he places a Santa hat on his co-worker’s head. He leans out a little and pulls his phone out, getting a selfie ready. 

They were at the Strange Times office, which wasn’t too big by the way, then after Tom was calling out the entire crew out for another selfie. They put it up on the website wishing their readers a Merry Christmas.

“Where are you going now?” David asks as they leave the office after a day of work, following Matt’s steps as he wraps an arm around his roommate’s shoulder

“Going to see Jim, why?” Tom voices out 

Matt laughs “You know his flight is in three hours, right? He should be leaving home soon” he says looking at his watch

“What?!?” Tom exclaims “I gotta go then, I promised I would see him before he left, we only saw each other once after the birthday getaway…” Tom says grabbing out his car keys and gets in the car

“Hey!” David shouts after him and he looks back “Can you give us a ride?”

Tom sighs “Come in”

***

Mark excitedly jumps around the living room, getting happier as he as his kids keep listening to bad Christmas music and wrapped their presents. Toni sings along with the tunes and Paul sips on his hot chocolate.

Christmas is less than a week away, Joe is supposed to arrive home any time soon and in a few days, Joe, Toni and Paul will be travelling away to New Mexico and spend Christmas and New Year’s with Elise’s parents. Mark is excited for Christmas -since it is his favorite holiday ever- and for presents as well, but he does not want his kids to leave. They should be back after New Years or something, but still, it seems like a huge amount of time. He can’t even imagine what he’ll do when Paul and Toni leave for college. He is finishing to set up the star at the top of the tree when he receives a text from Matt. 

“Hm, kids, mind if I leave for a couple of hours?” Mark asks and Paul shakes his head 

“No, but please be back” Paul chirps up while fixing his glasses on his face and Mark grabs his hoodie from the couch

Mark winks at them and grabs his pack of cigarettes and a stack of papers before walking out the door. He gets in his car and drives a little until he reaches a little yellow house not too far from there. When the door opens, a man in his mid-twenties, in a white shirt, dark eyes and white blonde hair is standing before him.

“Hi” The guy smiles “You’re here for Matt, right?”

Mark frowns, what is this beautiful man doing in his ex-boss’s house? “Yeah, I called him a few hours ago; I promise it’s really quick”

Mark notices a little girl in wild curly hair running up to the man, he kneels down to her height and looks at her in the eyes “Annie, can you call daddy upstairs?” He asks and she nods excitedly 

“Daddy! There’s someone at the door for you!!!” She runs inside screaming and Mark laughs out of adorableness

“Woah, calm down little girl!” He hears Matt from the inside, as he walked in their direction. Matt shows up by the door with Annie in his arms “Say hi to daddy’s friend” He tells his daughter.

The girl smiles, makes a face and hides her face in the man’s neck

“I’m sorry, she’s at _that_ age”

Mark smiles “Nah, it’s okay. Even princesses get shy sometimes” Mark says casually and she looks at him quickly with a smile

“Well, I _am_ a princess” She says shyly again in Matt’s arms. All three men laugh.

“Can you take her inside, Ryan? I won’t take long. You can go home after I get back, alright?” Matt asks 

“Sure” The guy, Ryan says as he takes Annie’s hand and walks with her inside. Matt walks up to Mark and closes the door behind himself

“So, How are you, Mark?” Matt smiles, looking in his eyes. Matt looks weirdly domestic: old, black Hurley shirt and khaki’s, his dark blonde hair in a mess, his eyes bluer than ever.

“Ah, you know, just living life” Mark shrugs, placing a hand on his black hair, pulling the short bangs to his forehead “You? Working too much? Still?”

Matt sighs and looks at Mark “Mark, I invited you here so we could talk about what happened, you always knew that you being hired or not isn’t up to me, right?” Matt starts as they slowly walk across the lawn

Mark nods “I… I just want to work things out, I need to get this job back, Matt” He says, shaking his head and putting both hands on his khaki's pockets

“Good” He says “I’ll swear, I’ll help you with everything you need... I… I just can’t promise anything, I mean, about the job…” Matt continues and Mark nods 

“I know” 

“So” Matt then smiles, his nose piercing and his blue eyes shining as they both walk away under the sun “Where do you wanna go?”

“Are we going anywhere?” Mark asks as he follows Matt up to his Prius “I…” Mark starts and stops confused in the middle of his lawn “Where is your pig? I thought you had invited me here to see your pig?” He asks

“Oh, you mean Steve?” Matt asks excitedly and Mark laughs, putting both hands into his pants pockets

“You named your pig Steve?” Mark laughs incredulous

“Annie did” Matt says like it’s nothing much “And he’s at the vet right now”

“Okay” Mark says and nods 

“Oh, and this is a date, by the way” Matt tells him and Mark freezes, looking up at him with his blue eyes “A business date”

“Oh” Mark breathes relieved, but still very intricate “Alright” He nods unconvinced

“Get in, I know where we’re going” Matt says and Mark hesitantly gets in, Matt drives out from the driveway, and five minutes into awkward silence, Mark decides to speak

“So… Hm, That Ryan dude? He’s…?”

“My nanny” Matt says quickly, looking over to Mark “He’s amazing, he moved here last year from Michigan to go to college…”

“Why not ask your teenage neighbor, or some shit like that?” 

Matt shrugs “I don’t really trust them”. 

Mark nods “If I had just moved in I probably wouldn’t either” He sighs and then they fall into silence again, Mark decides to speak up again “So, how was the wedding back in LA?” Mark asks and Matt looks back at with a wondering and questioning look “You told me that, the… You know, the guy from A Different Spin and that astronaut…”

“Oh” Matt laughs “So frigging cute” He says “I had never seen two dudes more in love than in that wedding… So emotional. Most beautiful wedding I ever went to…”

Mark nods “It should’ve been”

“I… I just remembered something actually…” Matt starts again “It's a few months away but I’m feeling excited about and I really want some face-to-face advice and I honestly think you're the right person for it…”

Mark frowns, but nods “Yeah, sure, what is it?” 

“I was asked to have a few paintings in an exhibit with a few other artists at the beginning of next year...” Matt says and smiles 

"Wow, Matt" Mark smiles "That's great, congratulations!"

"Thanks" Matt says, blushing a little "You think I should say yes?"

"And you haven't already?!" 

"It’s just that it’s going to be my first one here, so…”

“I didn’t know you painted…”

“Yeah, it’s just a hobby, actually…” Matt shrugs “It’s not I’m insanely talented or anything…”

“I will be there” Mark smiles "And you _will_ say yes, alright?"

Matt smiles and nods "Thanks for the pep talk"

"You're welcome"

"You haven't even seen what I've done yet..." Matt laughs

"Matt, if there's anything I learned over at this job, is that people have weird kinks, and art is there to pursue it. There is no such thing as bad art, because somewhere, out there, there will still be a manic with a frog kink somehow"

"You did not compare my paintings to porn..." Matt laughs

"It doesn't sound so bad when you're the one to say it" Mark joins in. They drive for a couple more minutes until they reach a beach, Matt parks the car but Mark does not get out 

“Is anything wrong?” Matt asks

“I… I don’t really go to the beach…” Mark explains nervously

“But we’re not going to the beach…” Matt grins

“No?”

“No. Just trust me, alright?” Matt opens the door for Mark. He hesitantly gets out and they start walking into the street, until they see a small bookstore at the corner. 

“You’re taking me to a bookstore? Why?” Mark asks 

“Because they have comics, and I need comics right now… And I wanted to show some of my favorites, especially the Indie ones…”

“Hey Matt!” A girl with purple hair and piercings greets him as they walk him 

“Hey Lily" Matt greets the girl at the door and she waves at them, Matt takes Mark’s hand and pulls him to where the comics were. Mark looks at it but he doesn’t really mind. 

“Hm, Matt?” Mark asked

“Yes?” Matt says without looking at him as he looked up at the shelves 

“Are we gonna talk about work?”

“Only if you want…”

“Wasn’t this a business date?” Mark asks

“A business date for you to relax!” Matt looks up the shelf and his eyes scan for something, he smiles when he sees what he was looking for, he takes it out of the shelf and hands it to Mark “Read this one…”

Mark takes the comic confusedly, he looks around, there’s a lot of old books here, he takes a breath and tries to get Matt’s attention as he is still looking up the shelves “You see, I… I think I found my outlet…” Mark explains a little too anxious “I think I found something that’ll bring me back on my feet, you know? And I don’t know much about the people in that side of our studio but I figured you’d have an idea…”

Matt frowns interested, he places back the comic he was looking into back to the shelf and turns to Mark “What is it, Mark?”

“I…” Mark says shying away, “I wrote this, it probably isn’t good enough to get me hired again but it’s a shot…” He explains and hands him a crumbled piece of paper he takes out of his pocket at the spot.

Matt frowns “Did you write your next big idea on a napkin?”

“Please just read it” Mark laughs and Matt looks at Mark wondering before he opens in one of the first few pages randomly. He reads a little and his eyes widen, a smile forms on his lips 

“Woah!” He laughs, “Are you really going down that path?”

Mark shrugs “Yeah, I guess”

“This is gay porn”

“Yes”

“Man-on-man”

“I know, Matt!”

“I’m sorry that I laughed, it’s just that…”

Mark chuckles and shakes his head, “Yeah, I understand what you mean…”

Matt’s eyes widen “So you really…?”

Mark smiles; he needs a moment to think if that’s a good or a bad choice of words. Instead, he juts nods

“Let’s do this…” Matt smiles, folding the napkin “You are going to email me what you have and I’m going to read it and I’ll give you feedback after Christmas… Alright?” 

Mark laughs, hoping his spark has been burning brighter ever since the words fell out of his mouth

“And in exchange, you…” Matt says and looks around “You buy me a book or a comic of your choice” He tells Mark and gets a smile back from the older man

“Alright” Mark nods giving up; a smile still on his lips “I will do you this sacrifice, alright?”

“Now, let’s sit here and read comics, what do you think?” Matt asks

“Well, it’s been a while since I’ve read some anyway…” Mark smiles, Matt smirks and hands him a few.

***

“Hm, yes, I’m going to the airport” Jim says into the phone, resting his feet on the coffee table in front of him “My address is 35, Je…”

The phone is taken away from him; a face rests on the side of his.

“Yeah, he won’t need a cab anymore” Tom says and hangs up the phone as he watches the surprised look on Jim’s face “Hi there” Tom smiles back at him and leans in, giving him a quick kiss.

“You’re late” Jim states, pulling back

Tom looks at his watch “The cab would take thirty minutes to get here, so that gives us half an hour before you leave, what do you think?” He asks biting his lip, giving his signature smile

“That is I gave you a spare key” Jim smiles and Tom leans in to kiss him again.

***

Toni heads down the stairs and zips up her hoodie as she crosses the living room. Paul eyes her from the couch, watching her walk up to the front door

“Where are you going?” Paul asks and Toni stops, turning to her brother 

“Going to a friend’s, I’ll be back soon” She says and Paul squints his eyes “I promise!”

Paul shakes his head and points the remote to the TV, changing channels “I couldn’t care less” He shrugs and Toni rolls her eyes before leaving the house “Just be back in one piece!” He shouts as she closes the door

Today she decides to walk instead of taking the skate, Frank’s house is two blocks after Starbucks, so it isn’t really that far away. The house seems to be on an abandoned lot but actually, it is just the lawn that is covered in trees, and you can see the wooden house in the back. Toni walks up to the front door and knocks.

A heavily tattooed man opens the door; he is covered in sweat and is shirtless. Toni frowns, she has never seen this man around, and come to think about it, she has never seen Frank as well... Toni shakes her head and looks at him, he has tattoos over his head and even a couple on his face, and she eyes the drumsticks in his hands and nods to herself

“Hi, hm, I’m here to see Frank…” Toni explains “I’m Toni” She says and the man nods 

“Oh, come on in” The man opens the door further so she can go in “I’m Travis” He says in a quiet voice as he closes the door “Frank is in the kitchen, it’s right over there” Travis says pointing at an arch nearby “I would stay and chat but…” He says showing her his drumsticks, and she nods understandingly 

“Oh, sure, of course…” She says nodding “Thank you so much”

Travis nods and goes back inside what Toni assumes is the garage, she walks towards the direction he had told her and she walks into the kitchen, seeing Frank sitting by the island with earplugs on, looking on his phone.

“Hey” She says walking in; Frank looks up at her and pulls his plugs out 

“Hey!” He smiles back at her “How are you doing?”

“Good” Toni nods “You?”

“Good, good” Frank tells her shyly, both hands between his legs “Did Trav open the door for you?” He asks and she nods, that is when they hear drumming from the garage, Toni looks over to the direction of the sound and her jaw drops 

“That’s him?!?” She asks amazed and Frank nods “Wow, that’s… That’s amazing!!!” She laughs, shaking her head “Is he your uncle?” Toni asks and Frank nods

“Yeah, that’s the one…”

They stand in awkward silence for a while, Toni nods to herself and Frank looks at his phone carefully “So… what were you listening to?” Toni asks

“Just some stuff I wrote” Frank shrugs “Not much…”

“You do music?!?” Toni asks surprised and Frank nods “I do some stuff, but honestly it’s nothing great, really…”

“You have anything there?” Frank asks and Toni pulls her phone out, going through her audios 

“Maybe” She sighs “You have a guitar right?” Toni asks and Frank nods “I can play them for you if you want…”

“That sounds nice…” Frank says getting up “Just stay here and I’ll pick it up for you…” He says and leaves the kitchen quickly. Toni sits in one of the stools and waits nervously for him to come back

***

Tom tiredly falls on Jim’s side on the bed “Fuck!” He winces as he pulls out his condom, tying it into a knot and throwing it into the trash can on the side of the bed. He wraps an arm around Jim’s chest and a leg between his. Tom smiles as he kisses the scorpion tattoo on the younger one’s neck, nuzzling his face into it and smiling against the younger man’s skin.

“I think I love you…” Tom says as he moves to kiss Jim’s ear

Jim smiles “Really?” He asks and Tom nods as he nuzzles his head into his neck again “Hm, I think I love you too…” Jim shyly tells him back

Tom props himself in his elbow and looks at the clock on the nightstand “Shit! It’s time!”

Jim looks as well and rushes to get up, he takes a shower and soon they’re sitting in Tom’s car on the way to the airport. When they arrive, Tom helps Jim taking his stuff out of the car and they walk together in silence

“Hm, Tom?” Jim calls him, playing with his septum piercing a little

“Yeah?” Tom looks at him, hands in his jackets pockets

“Did you really mean what you told me at home?”

Tom looks at him and thinks a while before nodding “Yeah, I really meant it”

Jim nods back

“Why, is something wrong?”

Jim shakes not really “It’s just that it’s been almost a year since we’ve been having hm… This?” He says and points between him and Tom “And I just… Fuck! I wanna know where are we going?”

Tom frowns “Why, are you worried about it?”

“Well, maybe it’s because I’m twenty five already and I think I’m getting too old for his ‘hooking up’ shit” He says while flexing his fingers in the air, still pulling his luggage with his other hand

Tom laughs, “Jim, I’m forty-one…” He says remembering his birthday a few days before “I am still pretty much on the hooking up phase. Your age doesn’t really mean anything…”

Jim shakes his head, making a ‘tsc’ with his tongue “Why does every time I hear that I feel like the person has some commitment issues, I don’t know!”

“What?” Tom stops in his tracks “I don’t have issues! I just don’t have kids and I’m single and I can fuck whoever I want!” Tom goes on harshly “I am not the type of guy who would sit down for anyone, okay? I won’t make strings for someone my entire life!”

Jim looks back “I know, Tom. I know you don’t want to give that up” He sighs “And maybe I want something else?”

Tom seems to ease a little as he walks behind Jim again “What do you mean?”

“I mean that maybe I want to wake up next to you every day…” He starts and looks at Jim again, his hands still in his pockets “I don’t want to be surprised all the time and having to wait you to come to me... Even if I love to just not expect you and then see you out of nowhere, I would also love to just not have to expect you, to just know you would be there whenever I need you, and maybe when I do not need you but having company would just be nice… To know you’d be there waiting for me to get home, or expecting to show me something at the end of the day…” Jim finishes and looks at Tom in the eye as they stop in front of the departing gate “Remember that I only moved to San Diego because I met you”

“I never told you to come after me,” Tom tells him

“Because you said really great things about here…” Jim puts in, a smile on his lips “But seeing you again and keep hanging out with you was a bonus, and I’m sorry, but what a great bonus…” Jim laughs, “Because I really like you, Tom” 

Tom smiles down at him; he places a hand on Jim’s cheek, cupping it. Jim looks back up at Tom and hopes he will say something soon. Anything.

“I know I said that back at home but the truth is that I really love you, Tom. And I’ve known that for quite a while” Jim blurs out “I wish I could spe…”

Tom interrupts him with a kiss, he does not know where it comes from and he does not care much for the people around them either. When he lets go, Jim can only look at him with a surprised expression.

“You go spend the holidays with your family and we’ll talk about this when you get back, what do you think?” Tom says caressing the smaller one’s cheeks with his thumb “I know how sure you feel about everything and I really like you, Jim. Just give me some time to think before deciding anything…”

Jim only smiles “Bye Tommy”

“Bye” Tom says by giving him a peck on the cheek.

***

It is the day before Christmas Eve when Tom shows up at Mark’s house again. 

“Tom! Hey!” He says looking at Tom “Thought you were gone forever…”

Tom laughs, he’s got Sally on the leash as they walk in and she’s already trying to run inside the house. Tom knows he has to wait for her to calm down every time he comes over. “It was just a few days that I haven’t come over, you silly bastard…” He says and playfully punches Mark in the arm as he gets in “I brought the gifts, I don’t know if I’ll manage to pass by your mom’s tonight though” Tom explains with a sad smile.

“Hm, actually I’m not going to my mom’s” Mark corrects Tom as he kneels down to pet Sally “Hey there, pretty girl!” He says with a baby voice “She and Anne are going to Lake Tahoe for Christmas, the kids also are spending the holidays with Elise’s parents in Albuquerque, they won’t be back ‘til after new year’s”

“Oh” Tom exclaims, “You’re going to spend Christmas alone?” He asks surprised and Mark nods

“Yeah, I guess…” He says scratching the back of his head as he gets up again, running a quick hair through his black hair, playing with his bangs afterwards

“You know, my mom is having a little party at her house, you can come if you want…” He says “You know, like old times…”

Mark smiles “Yeah, that’d be great! You can give me your present there then”

“Presents, plural” Tom chuckles 

“Fuck, Tom! I just got you one thing, now you live with that!” Mark snaps

“Fine by me” Tom laughs “Hey fuckers! Come get your presents!” He yells towards the stairs, you can quickly hear the three doors opening and closing one after another, and Mark smiles. It is nice to have a full house again.

Well, _almost_ full…

Toni is the first, jumping on top of Tom happily

“Merry Christmas, Tom!” She says and gives him a kiss on the cheek, before getting down and waiting for her brothers

***

**October 5th, 1997**

_Tom held the large velvet case in his hands, Mark walks back from the bathroom, jumping to test his shoes. “You think I’ll be able to dance with these? They seem slippery,” He says with a frown, only he and Tom stand in the room. Tom looks up and smiles at his best friend._

_At his ex_

_On his wedding day_

_“They are fiiiine, Mark, just relax, okay?” Tom says with an animated voice as he approaches Mark, who takes a deep breath before nodding. Tom opened the case and took out the pin that was supposed to go on Mark’s suit; he places it on him and Mark smiles_

_“Thank you for being my best man, cause you know, you are” He says with a sad smile_

_“You already thanked me a thousand times, Mark,” Tom says with a smile “I think it’s good” He says before Mark hugs him._

_Tom is truly happy for Mark, really. If he cannot make Mark happy, then he is not going to hold him back. Plus, Mark already has a beautiful son and he and Elise were planning on having more kids soon anyway…_

_Tom had come with a date though, her name was Flora, she was very pretty, and Tom rather liked her? He was not sure yet, but maybe…_

_“Mark, you on five…” One of the bridesmaids opens the door and caught the two boys in mid-hug, she soon was gone, leaving Mark and Tom looking at each other, knowing it was about to happen_

_“Go get her, big boy” Tom smiles and hits Mark on the arm_

_“I will!” He shrieks excitedly before heading out the door, always looking back to see if his best friend was following him._

_After the ceremony, there was the party. Elise looked gorgeous, her dress moved around like a singing bell, her hair decorated in beautiful flowers. She Mark had their first dance; Elise demanded to dance with Tom right after that, while Mark danced with her sister._

_“I’m sorry I can’t really dance…” Tom says apologizing with a smile_

_“That’s okay…” Elise said with a smile, putting an arm around him. She had dark blonde hair and Tom smiled at her honestly, “What are you smiling for, fuck face?” She asked laughing_

_Tom smiled again and shook his head, looking at his feet to see if he wasn’t going to step on her high heels, or her pretty dress “Mark’s really lucky to have you” Tom nods “You are amazing and funny and gorgeous” Tom sighs “I could not have asked a better girlfriend for my best friend…”_

_Elise smiles at him honestly “He’s really lucky to have you too, you know…” She explains to him “I asked to dance with you before Joe…” She laughs “It’s because I know a marriage with Mark is a marriage with you too, Tom”_

_Tom smiles “Thanks, that… That means a lot, Elise”_

_She laughs “So… Hm, your date, how is she?”_

_Tom shrugs “She’s okay, I think”_

_“She’s pretty” Elise comments_

_“Yeah, she is”_

_“You didn’t have to bring a girl, you know…” Elise says, “Is she a real date or is she just a cover? Because you know Mark and I would not have minded you bring a boy at all, in fact, we would have encouraged it… We like you the way you are, Tom…”_

_Tom sighs “I confess that since you and Mark had Joe and decided to get married, I sort of been thinking about it too. I mean, I’m not sure about marriage, but… I wanna have kids, you know…” Tom sighs “Imagine me having a girl” He smiles_

_“A badass girl” Elise smiles sweetly at him “She would have your brown eyes and she would play guitar as well and… And she would listen to the same music as you, you two could play the keyboards together and she would travel with you to all the places you would go… She would ride a skateboard everywhere and wear your hats...”_

_Tom smiles sadly, he looks down and nods_

_“I didn’t want to make you sad, Tommy…” Elise tells him, regretting what she said_

_“It’s okay” Tom sighs “It’s not like I’m ever gonna have kids anyway…”_

_“Well, you can enjoy your date with Flora… Who knows, huh?” Elise smiles at him_

_“If everything works out, I wanna take her home tonight” He says quietly_

_“But do you like her?” Elise asks concerned_

_“I… I don’t know” Tom explains, “I guess I just wanna know how it feels like. Plus, I didn’t want to show up to Mark’s family with an empty hand, you know?” He smiles sadly “I know Anne and his parents don’t care, but his aunts still see me as the boy who lured him to sex, I was the one who corrupted their little Marky…”_

_“Mark’s aunts don’t need anything from you, alright?” Elise tells him “I am the whore who got pregnant and lured him into marrying me. They don’t like me either…” She takes a breath “You’re amazing, Tom. You will find someone amazing, alright?” She smiles and the song ends “Even if you just stay with Mark and I forever…” Elise laughs and Tom chcukles, he pulls her into a hug as her sister leaves the dance floor, five seconds later; Mark approaches them with Joe on his arms_

_“Mommy! Look who’s here?” Mark says excitedly as Joe laughs and throws himself over his mom, wearing his tiny suit_

_“Did you miss mommy?” Elise asks Joe and he nods slightly, him barely being one year-old at the time, she tickles his belly and Tom decides them to be, but Mark grabs him by the arm._

_“You’re coming with me, big boy” Mark tells him and pulls him over as an upbeat song started, Mark started to make a fool out of himself as Tom joined in to dance with him._

_“You two planned all of this, didn’t you?” Tom asked_

_“But of course we wouldn’t leave our little Tommy behind” Mark laughs and winks at him before spinning on his slippery shoes._

_Tom laughs again._

_Later, when everyone was dancing and everyone was very much half-drunk, Tom was over the average, Flora was nowhere to be seen and had probably left already. Tom did not give a fuck and decided to go get another drink._

_He tripped, but managed to stay up as he sat in one of the stools by the bar._

_“A cocktail, of, hm… You know what, surprise me!” He told the bartender_

_The bartender smiled “Sure thing, man” He said and winked at Tom._

_The guy came back with Tom’s drink and since there wasn’t anyone else to ask for anything, he just stuck around_

_Tom took his first sip and frowned “What’s in this?”_

_“Mango” The bartender said and Tom nodded in surprise_

_“Mango!” Tom said and raised his glass “I like it!”_

_The bartender smiled “Thank you”_

_“Let me cut to the chase and tell you I’m not some impolite bastard so I’ll just ask you: What’s your name?” Tom slurred and the bartender laughed_

_“My name’s Alan”_

_“Alan” Tom said tasting the words “I like that name, I really really do!”_

_“Yours?” Alan asked as he propped his elbows on the counter_

_“Tho… I’m Matthew!” Tom piped in before finishing his drink “Can you get me another one?”_

_“Mango again?” Alan asked_

_“Anything you want, big boy” Tom smirked as Alan winked again, turning around to get his drink._

***

Tom, David and Matt walk into the small apartment, seeing there was not much to pack. The China and kitchen stuff was from the building already, just like the furniture, the bathroom stuff was not really needed apart from a few specific things like shampoo and allergic soaps, Tom had the rest stocked at home.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” David asks, “He might get mad…”

“Nah! He won’t!” Tom says as he grabs a suitcase and starts placing clothes inside, Jim had already taken half of his wardrobe with him so it was not supposed to be hard “He told me to get a grip on our relationship, this is exactly what I’m doing!” He says as he grabs the jeans and folds them into the case, “I do not have commitment issues, that’ll show him!”

“Maybe you shouldn’t do this just to prove something…” Matt says as he takes out the bed clothing 

“Yah…” David laughs with him

“This will be the last surprise for him. Jim told me he doesn’t want to guess when I’m coming anymore; he’ll have to guess where his stuff is when he gets here…” Tom smiles “I wish I could see the look on his face, oh God!” He grins even wider as he pictures Jim coming back home to an empty apartment.

Both David and Matt shrug about it.


	10. December 24th, 2016

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello earthlings, how is everyone? 
> 
> I just wanted to come by and say that now I can oficially type again (Last chapter was already done when I hurt my hand), I still have to wear orthotic braces of sorts but it's okay. So, in the meantime when I was bored I set up a queue on my tumblr to post pictures of the characters (Only the non-OC's so far though), so if you wanna check that out here's my tumblr (I also did that for Out Of The Blue, so the tags will tell you which ones are CH and which ones are OOTB) is deathcomealive *happy face*
> 
> This is the last chapter of the first act of the story, thank you everyone for support and all your kind words you are all awesome <3

**October 6th 1997**

_“Tom, Tommy, wake up” Tom hears as he slightly starts to wake up, he feels a headache and a sense of guilt, a feeling he’s done something he shouldn’t. After a few seconds he notices it’s Elise because of her big brown eyes that stare at him worriedly, her silky brown hair falling onto his face, she has a concerned tone on her voice, maybe slightly annoyed, but Tom is just too drunk to distinguish it._

_Tom shakes in his sleep; he opens his eyes slowly and looks at Elise, trying to wake him up_

_“Are you okay, honey?” She asks carefully and Tom looks around, he must’ve gotten so wasted at the wedding, it would explain the headache, the need for a shower and the want to die and regret all at once._

_“Am I in hell?” Tom asks with his groggy hangover voice_

_Elise chuckles and shakes her head “You’re in our house Tom, this is the guest room” She tells him patiently_

_Tom looks at his surroundings and takes everything in, sulking into the sheets “Oh yeah, it is” He points out in realization “I got pretty shit-faced last night, didn’t I?”_

_Elise just looked at him “Tom, you slept with the bartender” She tells him and his eyes widen “Right here”_

_“Fucking shit nooooo!” Tom groans throwing his head back, placing both hands on his head in desperation “Fuck no! I fucking remember him! It was right after Flora disappeared! Fuck, Elise, I’m so sorry I… I’ll make it up to you I jus…”_

_“Shh, it’s okay, Tom” She smiles warmly at him “I just wanna know if you used a condom, alright?”_

_Tom sighed “It should be on the floor” He groaned and Elise looked at her feet, seeing it by the nightstand_

_“Here it is” She says and picks up a clean tissue from the nightstand, picking it up with it “Yeah, it’s in a knot, I am so proud of you!” She smiles at him, pinching his cheek. She is about to throw it away when she looks closer “Is this XL?!?”_

_“Oh” Tom then says “We know how things turned out yesterday then”_

_Elise frowns “What do you mean?”_

_Tom licks his lips “That condom isn’t mine”_

_“EW!” Elise screams as she gets up and throws the condom and the tissue on the floor “That is sick!”_

_“What made you want to pick up my condom anyway?”  
“Oh come on, I know you grabbed my husband’s dick before, it isn’t really that sick if you think about it…”_

_Tom licks his lips again, there is so much more he has done to her husband’s dick._

_“Mommy! Mommy!” Elise and Tom hear the crying coming from the hallway and Mark walks in with Joe in his arms. Elise smiles as she catches Joe when he jumps from Mark’s arms and into hers_

_“Okay, so, I’ll leave you two to talk and Mark, you get him ready cause we have to leave in an hour”_

_“If you give him to me…” Mark says as he stretches his arms to pick up Joe_

_“I wasn’t talking about Joe, I was talking about Tom” Elise shakes her head, pulling Joe away from him and walking away_

_“Oh” Mark says and looks at Tom shirtless on the bed, sitting and waving awkwardly at him “I will” He smiles and Elise leaves. “So…” Mark starts as he sits on the bed, on the same spot Elise was before “How was he?”_

_“Why do you care?” Tom asks a bit rudely_

_“Your breath smells really bad” Mark giggles “I missed drunk Tom”_

_Tom smiles, shaking his head “He was okay, I think, I don’t really remember, I just know he was hot and I’m cursing myself for not remembering it cause it would be amazing masturbation content”_

_Mark laughs “Are you okay?”_

_Tom shrugs “I am, or I will be. I just feel really bad I put you guys through this; I probably ruined your night… Your wedding night! I am a scandal”_

_Tom knows that ‘drunk Tom’ has come to their house with a purpose. They probably know it too, at least Mark does._

_Mark laughs and shakes his head “You think you’re a scandal? You don’t even know what Elise’s brother did”_

_“Oh my God, what?” Tom asks enthusiastic for his friend’s gossip_

_“Well, Elise and I set up a hotel to stay the night after so we could sleep with no worries, no Joe, wake up to an amazing breakfast and take advantage of the spa before leaving for the honeymoon, but when we left the party and tried to find the keys, we couldn’t find them, so we asked for the spare ones at the reception and I was unfortunate to find him there, naked, with two women…”_

_“Holy…” Tom laughs, opening his mouth “What the…”_

_“Tom” Mark interrupts him “He was there with Flora!”_

_Tom laughs again “What? Impossible!”_

_“Very possible, and real! Why do you think she disappeared so soon? But that’s not all, he was also there with one of the bridesmaids, and she’s married, so her husband found out, cause you know, he was at the party after all” Mark sighs_

_“He was?!? Why is married people dumb?” Tom asks and Mark gives him a look "Well, except for you and Elise of course..."_

_Mark shakes his head, a smile still in his voice “I don’t know, man, He showed up at the hotel, I don’t know the outcome cause Elise and I were tired out of our minds so we just picked up Joe at her mom’s and came back home to see our bartender sneaking out” He sighs “I feel sorry for her, it was her fucking brother. Imagine if she was the one to walk in on that…”_

_“Yeah, poor thing” Tom shook his head “So… You’re telling me I’m not the party fuck-up?” Tom asks uncertain, making a face_

_Mark shakes his head, making a face “Not really since no one knows about this. People know you left with the bartender, they just don’t know to where” Mark says and winks_

_“Thanks man” Tom smiles and Mark reaches to put a strand of hair behind his ear, Tom blushes and Mark giggles_

_“You’re a real cutie” Mark says amazed and Tom smiles, looking at his hands. Mark takes one and tries to pull him up “Come on, let’s put you in the shower so you can come with us to the airport”. Tom pulls back, Mark frowns “Is everything okay?”_

_“Well, I… I’m naked” Tom explains_

_Mark shrugs “As if it were any news” He says and Tom smiles, he still grabs his junk as he gets up._

***

Tom honks his horn as he parks in front of Mark’s house, who comes out with two bags of presents in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. Tom opens the trunk of the SUV so Mark could put his presents there and he comes into the passenger seat with the wine bottle on his hand.

“Hm, it really looks like a party then” Tom smiles, taking the bottle from Mark’s hands. 

“It’s for your mom, asshole. Not for your own enjoyment” Mark says taking it back.

Tom smiles as he starts the car again and drives off to his mom’s, who welcomes them with tons of _‘Oh my God! This is just like old times’_ and _‘Mark, my son, you look so thin’_ and _‘Thomas! I told you to not get those tattoos years ago!’_

It takes about half an hour for Tom’s mom to show off his son around to her friends, talking about how good and amazing and successful his books are, Mark laughs whenever Tom tries to get her to stop, or when she says things that aren't true or she exhagerates on something. That’s when he remembers that Tom’s mom never really knew about the two of them together. She and his entire family found out he was gay after he was already grown up, but she never once thought the two of the were an item

Mark smiles, it feels like home again. First off they eat and then do Secret Santa, which Mark is left out of since he decided to go last minute. Afterwards they all get together and exchange other gifts. Mark had bought Tom’s mom a present already so in the end he didn’t look like a total jerk. Mark sits in the couch with his glass of the wine he brought and waits for Tom to finish giving and receiving gifts from his family. When he’s done, he gets himself a glass of wine as well and sits by Mark’s side.

“Now’s the big moment when you propose to me?” Mark asks

“Yeah, not gonna marry your saggy old fat ass” Tom replies and Mark laughs as Tom leaves his present on his lap “This is just a little thing, you know?”

Mark smiles and rips open the wrapping; a brand new coloring book, zombie themed, which Mark liked because he was always able to practice motor skills on them

“Aw, Tom! Thank you!” Mark smiles and hugs his friend “Now mine” He says as he picks his present from the coffee table, it was a fairly large box, Tom tries to shake it “No dude! Don’t shake it, what the fuck! Just open it” Mark motions for him to go deep and Tom opens it, seeing a collection of six shot glasses with different Star Wars characters. Darth, Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie and R2D2.

“Oh my God, Mark! I love them!” Tom exclaims as he tried to fit as many as he can into his hand 

“Poor C3PO fell wounded on the way home” Mark explains 

“Doesn’t always he?” Tom jokes and Mark laughs 

“What else did you get me?” Mark asks excited like a little kid

“Here” Tom says handing him a wrapped bag with a bow on tip, a simple gift. Mark looked at Tom before opening it, seeing Tom’s black long sleeved shirt inside. Mark frowns at it confused

“Is this your shirt?” Tom nods “What kind of gift is this?”

Tom smiles “I realized I had two at home and you liked it so much so I wondered why not” He says and shrugs

Mark doesn’t know what to feel, let alone what to think.

“Am I supposed to wear this?” He asks and Tom nods

“Yeah, that’s why I gave you”

“Have you worn this?” He asks and Tom nods

“Yeah, it gets confusing when you have similar clothing” 

Mark still stares at it a little more. He tries to picture himself wearing it and smelling like Tom, feeling Tom close. He just wants to shove his fucking nose into the fabric.

He looks at Tom, trying to smile “Thank you” He answers in a bit of unease.

Tom smiles. They sit there for a while, taking in the silence until Tom decides to speak up “Come here with me” He says getting up and tapping Mark’s knee. He leans into the table and grabs the wine bottle, refilling for the two of them before moving along

Mark frowns and looks around, but then he decides to follow Tom as he goes upstairs and Mark feels a lump on his throat, he knows exactly where they’re going.

Tom opens the door to his old room and lets Mark inside. He turns on the lights and Mark can’t help but smile about how everything still looks the same. The 2001 movie poster on top of the bed, the doodles and random lyrics and notes on the wall.

Mark’s eyes focus in a piece of paper on the wall, oh, he remembers that one way too well. Tom seems to have a little trouble with the balcony door so Mark gets a little closer to read it, his grip getting tighter on the wine glass.

_“Dear Tommy boy,_  
Your balls are grey and old; sometimes I can’t believe you’re only seventeen if you have your grandpa’s balls. Well, I guess genetics suck.  
Sincerely, someone who loves you old grey sack a little too much,  
Mark” 

Mark smiles like an idiot at it. Time flies so fast it’s actually disturbing how Tom’s forty-one now

“Come out here” Tom says as he manages to open the door, Mark follows him and closes the door of the room and pulls the curtains closed. The both boys lean against the face side by side, their arms brushing lightly.

“Your room still looks the same” Mark states as he takes a sip of his wine “Very teenagey”

Tom laughs “Yeah, I’m glad mom didn’t move many things… She kept the paper wall! It’s amazing how nothing really has fallen down all these years. I wonder if she puts them back up…”

“Good point” Mark points out before smiling “I kind of missed it here” He sighs looking out Tom’s backyard “I remember coming here when I was mad or annoyed or pissed or just sad and I wanted to just forget it all, you know?” He asks and Tom nods “You were always the most logical place”

Tom smiles “You have always been mine too”

Mark looks at him and lets out a chuckle “I still remember this one day you were travelling with your dad and I came here and your mom let me in. I just sat here with a bottle of beer and some cigarettes and tried to wait for you to come back, it still took another day and a half. I slept in your bed, I took a shower here, your mother fed me, Shon kept me company, I dressed in your clothes”

Tom looks at him surprised, he remembers that trip, it was the only one he did with his dad since he and his mom got divorced, it was one hell of boring and annoyed trip. He couldn’t stand his dad and just wanted to come back home. But he never knew Mark fucking waited for him.

Mark still smiles ahead “In the end it took you three days to get here. Somewhere around the second day I just went home and then came back only when you showed up with scraped knees” Mark says as he smiles at the memory “I couldn’t wait you forever…” Mark says and takes a sip of his wine.

Tom licks his lips, Mark looks at him 

“What? Is something wrong?” Mark asks

“Why is that, every time we are alone in a moment where the entire universe drowns out, we can only talk about one thing?” Tom wonders “Am I hanging too much to the past?” Tom whispers to Mark

Mark shakes his head “If you are, then so am I”

Tom laughs “We sound exactly like two old people who can never see ahead of them”

_“Go wash your period pads!”_

_“Ready for supper?”_

They laugh in unison; Mark takes another sip of his glass 

“But oh shit, we are really old” Mark smiles “I mean, you’re forty one now!”

Tom nods “You’re no young yourself, my friend, remember you’re turning forty five in like two months…”

Mark leans onto the fence again, “You still wish to be younger?”

Tom looks at him before taking another sip “A little, although I still feel like I’m a kid sometimes”

“Then we’re two” Mark replies taking another sip 

“Come one, tell me. What makes you feel like you’re, like, I don’t know, twenty five?” Tom smiles

Mark thinks about it for a while “Look at the mirror and think I am fucking gorgeous, eat Cheetos, go sit at Old Town, read comics, cut my hair, eat ice cream! Oh, yeah, ice cream’s good”

Tom doesn’t answer 

“What about you?” Mark nudges his side “What makes you feel like baby Tom again?”

Tom takes a deep breath as he stares ahead “You do”

Mark looks at him, he paralyzes and opens his mouth to say something, but he closes when Tom turns to him back again. Tom takes a shaky breath, Mark’s eyes widen and his mouth opens, he’s frowning a little though. He knows that broken sigh way too way. And then he just watches Tom leaning into him.

Their lips touch and they are even more drowned out, it’s a simple gesture at first and Mark is practically sure that Tom will pull away anytime now, but his thoughts are broken when Tom places a hand on the back of his neck. Tom pulls away and looks at him, Mark can only look for something in his eyes, he doesn’t step back, he doesn’t objectify, he only pleads.

Tom pulls him in again and Mark moves to leave the glass on the rail and so does Tom. He pulls Mark a little backwards and shoves him against the fence and away from the glasses. Tom pokes his tongue and he doesn’t even need to effort Mark to let him in. Mark feels his heart hammering on his ribcage; it’s surreal that Tom’s actually kissing him. And apparently not as something quick just cause he’s drunk or high. This is his pure will.

It sinks into him; he forcefully pulls Tom closer, placing both hands on the side of his face. Tom bites and sucks on his bottom lip, it feels like it’s been a million years since they’ve done this, which isn’t an exaggeration, really. Mark breathes quickly and lets out a quiet moan. Tom whimpers at Mark’s moan and presses their crotches together, he tries to let his mouth slide to Mark’s jaw and neck but the older man pulls him back. “Tom, here, my lips, okay?” He asks “Just kiss me”

Tom nods and goes back to kissing Mark’s mouth, a flash of emotions flashes through him when Mark called him. He wants to hear that coarse voice again, into his ear, telling him nothings and what he’ll do to him.

“Thomas!” They hear a voice that’s freakishly close to them. Tom’s brother is on the corridor and he shoves Mark away, wiping his mouth on the sleeve of his shirt. Mark stares at him with wide eyes. God, those blue eyes! “Thomas!”

“On the balcony!” Tom shouts back without taking his eyes off Mark, who then looks away, trying to distract himself with something else but the growing bulge in his pants.

“Oh, there you two are!” He says relieved as he walks into the room. Shon frowns and looks at both of them “What is happening here?” He asks eyeing the two of them 

“Fuck nothing” Tom grumbles as he walks inside, shoving past Shon and leaving Mark behind.


	11. December 25th, 2016

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Everyone! Just a reminder that Halloween is coming, so a prompt has been thrown on LiveJournal by my friend for Halloween blink fics (Whatever pairings or no pairings). I know LiveJournal is a dead outlet but that is exactly what we want: To bring back to life the Slash182 community (blink-slash182.livejournal.com) what once was really important -and still active- to our fanbase!
> 
> You do not exactly have to post to LiveJournal (If you do not have an account...), but you can post it to any source (Tumblr, Wattpad even here on AO3) and come in contact with me or my friend (deathcomealive//markasmywitness - Both on Tumblr) and we will try to shoot your post in the community
> 
> Here is the link to the prompt of the challenge - blink-slash182.livejournal.com/398365.html
> 
> I hope we can get as many stories as we can read for this. 
> 
> Again thank you all again for supporting this fic and I hope you guys enjoy this chapter
> 
>  
> 
> **WARNING: Explicit Content ******

**December 18 th 1992**

_“So…” Mark says as he kicks a pebble on the street, his hands in his khaki’s pockets, his eyes on his feet “You like this William dude?” He says as he looks up to one of the houses down the street, a family carries a Christmas tree into their house, the other ones already with all their lights up, reindeers on the roofs... Mark thinks about how much he loves this time of the year_

_Tom shrugs, glancing down at his older friend, being slightly taller than him “I think I do?” He says casually “I only went out with him once… Can we go eat something before we go to practice at my house? We can go to Sombrero’s…”_

_Mark nods, still not looking up “Sure”_

_“What’s wrong?” Tom asks concerned “You seem upset…”_

_“Nothing, It’s just that… I… You won’t like it”_

_“What? What happened?” Tom asks, pushing out Mark’s buttons to get what he wants to hear out of him._

_“I… I saw William kissing a girl at the party yesterday…” Mark stops and looks up at Tom_

_“So…?” Tom scoffs “What’s wrong with that? I’m only going out with him, It’s not like we’re in love or something…” He says as he starts walking again_

_“Yeah, but…” Mark starts_

_“No buts, Mark” Tom turns to him again “This is the guy that potentially could be my first alright?” He says annoyed, looking into Mark’s eyes with rage “I don’t need you meddling into this”_

_“But shouldn’t your first time be with someone you love?” Mark asks in a low voice_

_Tom keeps walking “Was yours?”_

_“No, but I know someday I’ll regret it because I let my dick speak louder than that” Mark says “Your first time should be with someone who’s gonna take care of you! Especially if you’re doing it with someone of the same sex, you need someone who knows what they’re doing!” Mark says a bit more aggressively_

_“And you know what to do?” Tom stops and answers in an angry tone, Mark stays paralyzed, he opens his mouth, trying to answer, but he had to admit Tom had caught him by surprise “I thought so…” Tom whispers sadly before walking away, Mark doesn’t move “There is no practice today!” Tom yells as he keeps walking away from his friend_

***

Tom pulls the car into Mark’s driveway again and waits for his friend to come out, but Mark thinks for a while in his seat.

“You wanna come here tomorrow?” Mark asks

“Yeah, sure, I’ll see if I get here for dinner, if that’s okay…”

“Of course” Mark smiles a tiny one before jumping out “Good night”

“Good night to you too, Mark” Tom says before Mark closes the door.

Mark takes a deep breath as he sees Tom’s car going around the corner.

***

Mark wakes up in the next morning with his phone vibrating in his hand; he must’ve fallen asleep while looking at twitter the previous night. He rubs his eye with his free hand and looks at the display.

“Shit!” He whispers and sits up on the bed, trying to shake off his tiredness before he picks up “Mr. Ski… I mean, Matt, Hi! Merry Christmas!” Mark smiles with his groggy voice

“Have you been sleeping?” Matt asks and Mark shakes his head

“No, it’s just the coffee” Mark says after clearing his throat “So, hm, any news?”

Matt laughs at the other end “You have got what it takes, Mark, this is potentially good”

Mark frowns “Potentially?”

“Yeah, hm” Matt continues “Mark, I know this. But you know, it looks a little too… A little too ‘out there’, get it?”

Mark opens his mouth confused “What?” He rubs his eyes again

“Mark, advice? You either read slash fanfiction or you have sex with a guy…”

Mark stops on his track “What again?”

“It’s good, but you still need to get better, it seems a virgin wrote this, honestly. But it’s still good”

Mark still has wide eyes and an open mouth, not answering.

“Sooo…” Matt continues “You think about it and send another one back to me, okay? Annie’s outside playing with her new Barbie mansion, I gotta go”

Nothing

“Mark?”

“Yeah, I’m fine”

“Okay then, you think about it, alright?”

“Sure” Mark agrees paralyzed

“Bye! Merry Christmas!” Matt says and hangs up

“Merry Christmas to you too you gay son of a bitch” Mark says to the empty line. He sighs and looks up at his ceiling, he gets up and walks to the kitchen, making himself a cup of coffee. Mark sits on the table, taking sips out of his hot drink, thinking about what Matt just told him.

It wouldn’t really be a bad idea, it’s not like he hasn’t been thinking about this in a while even… He remembers the day he and Tom were talking on his backyard, about a year after Elise had passed away, Mark sobbed and told Tom how he felt about the younger boy, and how they should be together. Next thing Mark knows, a few days later Tom had called off his wedding with Elliott, but Mark placed it aside, he was not ready to let someone else after Elise into his life like that. Mark has been avoiding this moment since that day, the moment when he just could not postpone anymore the fact that he and Tom were attracted to each other, even not after what had happened the previous night. Mark couldn’t shove away the fact that he liked boys too, and that he had a crush on Matt by any sorts.

Was that a hint from Matt? That he is thinking about the day they kissed? Was that sign that maybe asking Tom to come over was a bad idea? Or was it meant to be? Mark could be with Tom today, and if he did that, would he want more? Would they want more? Would they expect anything from each other? Mark feels his anxiety bubbling as he tries to bite into his very short nails “Fuck!” He hisses to himself as he fails to.

He could also pick up his phone, cancel his plans with Tom and ask Matt if he can come over, but then barge into the happy christmas morning in family he's having? Mark doesn't want to be the guy to ruin someone's favorite holiday, especially a kid's. It could be just one night, just one fucking night that Mark would allow himself to this and honestly, it would be a favor to his career, that’s all. It would sort things out in his mind, about Tom and Matt and relationships, he would sort out how he feels about men twenty years after actively being with one.

He sighs and takes another sip from his coffee, he wonders if it’s just adding up to his anxiety, so he gets up and pours the remains into the sink. Mark stops, placing both hands on the counter, he still remembers Tom’s lips on his the night before, he takes up a hand and touches his own bottom lip, smiling at the memory, and he notices he can still faintly smell Tom’s cologne on his shirt.

Mark lets it be when he notices he is getting harder by just thinking of it, he tries to shake it off until he hears a noise outside. Fuck! This was not the best time!

He curses as he turns around to open the door, his white sleeved undershirt still the same one as the previous night as he walks out in boxers only. He looks down and sees his boner sticking against his underwear, Mark just doesn’t give a flying fuck before he washes his face and goes open the door, Sally immediately running inside and going upstairs to Paul’s room. Mark just watches her from his place.

He turns around and Tom stands in the doorway with a box in his hands and a confused look on his face.

“Did you just wake up?” He asks frowning

“Sorta” Mark shrugs, a hand running on his face again, rubbing his eyes

“You’re hard” Tom points out with a gulp

“Yeah, I know. What’s in there?” Mark asks taking the box away from Tom’s hand and at the same time, trying to change the subject. Tom lets him, Mark opens it and pulls out a single cookie “Oh my God, you read my mind, I’m fucking starving!”

“Come in, I’ll make you lunch then” Tom says as he pushes Mark inside, walking into the kitchen after he closes the door.

Mark takes a deep breath before scolding him to the kitchen; Tom pulls out a mac and cheese box out of the cabinet and takes out the raw meat out of the fridge. Sally walks back from inside and sits by Tom’s side on the stove, looking up to what he was cooking.

“You want mac and beef?” Tom asks and Mark nods as he sits “Okay then” He says before starting to cook

Mark just watches him, he observes the way Tom walks, the way Tom sings, the way Tom plays with Sally and the way Tom shakes his head while doing so. A smile plays on his lips. He eats in silence. It feels awkward as shit.

When Mark finishes eating, Tom is still looking at him, but Mark notices he’s staring, and then quickly looks away.

“Wanna watch a movie?” Mark asks as he gets up to put the plate on the sink. He turns around and Tom nods “Why won’t you go pick one while I take a shower?”

“Yeah, sure” Tom says as he gets up and goes to the living room, going through Mark’s Netflix account. In the end and after much thinking he decides to go for The Avengers. Mark comes back and can only smile at the screen.

He looks so cute in his white shirt and his wet hair, Tom’s heart pounds.

“Good choice, man!” Mark laughs “Wanna eat something with the movie? Popcorn? Sour Patch kids?”

“Sour Patch’s good” Tom says gulping the big lump on his throat.

Marks grabs the snacks in the kitchen and comes back, Tom presses play and they sit quietly. Mark is tense the entire movie, should he say it now? Or just forget it? Come on! They have to go for it, Mark needs his job back. It’s just _once_.

He could go for Matt, which would be new, exciting and fun. But at the same time Matt used to be his boss, and sleeping with Matt now would just make him a whore to get his job back. Plus, Tom is right _here_ , sitting by his side, years of experience not even he has himself. His best-friend and his ex-boyfriend, the person he had just kissed the night before with an insane amount of passion…

When Natasha and Loki finish their discussion, Mark pauses the movie. Tom looks at him, waiting for him to explain himself, but he doesn’t.

“Mark, why did you pause?!?” Tom asks

“We need to talk” He says for once “This is serious shit”

Tom frowns “What’s wrong, Mark?”

“I got fired” Mark says at once “There”

Tom’s jaw drops “What?!? You got fired?!? Mark, you kn…”

“Yeah, I know, but just listen to me” Mark continues, shrugging Tom off.

Tom sits up intrigued

“I’m on my way to get it back…”

“Mark, th…” Tom smiles but Mark presses a finger on his lips, Tom stiffens

“Just listen to me, dammit!”

Tom nods as Mark drops his hand

“I kind of sold my soul to the devil when I said I would try to get back, I’m going to try something new to write…”

“What is it?” Tom asks

 _“Gay porn?”_ Mark says scratching the back of his hair. Tom stares at him for a few minutes, trying to see any hint of a joke and when he does not, he bursts out laughing

“Oh my God!” He exclaims clapping both hands together, “That is hilarious!”

 _“Ha ha”_ Mark fakes a laughter “But you’re gonna help me. I know this is a weird thing to ask after what happened last night, but I’ve been thinking a lot about this, Tom”

Tom’s laughter suddenly dies “What?!?” He asks confused

Mark takes a deep breath “You’re gonna help me because I can’t lose this, Tom! This is a fucking order!”

Tom frowns, his insides burning “What do you want me to help with?!?”

“You know what I want” Mark says scooting closer and he lets his hand scrape over Tom’s growing bulge, he takes a deep breath

“Fuck, Mark, no, no way” Tom says shoving his hand away, getting up “You are _demanding_ me to have sex with you? This is too much! Are you out of your mind?”

“Tom! It’s just once! Stop making me sound like a jerk”

"Well, at this moment you are being one!"

"I..." Mark looks down "I'm sorry, I should never said anything... Forget it"

Tom sighs and sits down by Mark's side again “But why? Are you a virgin or shit? I'm just trying to understand because as long as I remember you’re fucking not, alright? So, basically you just kissed me yesterday for your job, huh”

“No, Tom… I…”

"Our first kiss in over twenty years was a fake" Tom nods to himself, hurt.

"That was _not_ our first kiss!" Mark shouts "You don't remember this, but one day you got high as shit and you kissed me on my bed!" He yells poitning inside and Tom just stares at him. Mark looks down as well, hurt "I kissed you back that day! I kissed you yesterday with job or no job! I kissed you because I can't keep my head straight when I'm near you for the past couple of months!" Mark finishes shouting and looks down at Tom, waiting a reaction from him

Tom takes a deep breath and nods, still looking down to his hands on his lap "Okay"

“I sent a script to the producer!” Mark starts again “He said I fucking needed to remember how to wrap my hand around a dick because yes, it did sound like a virgin’s writing! And I kissed you because… God, Tom, _you know why_!”

Tom stops “Your producer knows it?”

“Why shouldn’t he?”

Tom glares at Mark “Well, fuck him, then!” He says before taking up the sour patch kids again “I’m taking these with me!”

Tom starts walking towards the door and Mark runs for it, Tom places the hand on the knob but Mark manages to lock it, take out the key and put it inside his underwear.  
“Ha! Get it now!”

Tom raises an eyebrow “Alright” He says and when Mark notices he’s actually going for it by force, he starts shoving Tom’s hand away and they start slapping each other, Mark manages to shove him back to the living room. They continue to slap each other’s hand away from Mark’s crotch until Tom steps into the coffee table and makes a turn as he falls to the floor “Shit!” He says wincing on the floor. Mark hovers his body, Tom pulls him down with him, Mark curses but soon enough Tom is again trying to reach into his underwear “Mark, quit it!” He yells annoyed

“Kiss me you bastard!” Mark says angrily, shaking Tom under him “Just kiss me and I’ll give it to you, JUST KISS M…!!”

Tom grabs Mark by the shirt’s neck and pulls him down, their mouths colliding.

Mark hums happily into the kiss as Tom desperately tries to bit Mark’s bottom lip between his teeth. Mark shoves his tongue in and their teeth clank together, Tom whines into his best friends mouth when he notices he is getting too into it and shoves Mark away. He extends his hand towards his friend “Just give me the key, Mark”

Mark smirks, he puts a hand into his pants and pulls it out, he places it on Tom’s open palm but doesn’t let it go, and instead he leans into Tom’s ear

 _If you really wanted to leave, you would have run for the back door”_   Mark whispers and bites on Tom’s earlobe. Tom takes a deep breath and feels his dick twitch as Mark proceeds to lick inside his ear

Tom turns him over and leans on top of Mark. Mark looks at him with careful eyes as Tom pays attention to every single detail of his face

“Are you sure about this?” Tom asks calmly and Mark does not really think before nodding to his friend, looking deeply into his eyes. Tom proceeds the information a blinks a couple of time before slowly leaning in.

Their lips touch again; he first presses both together, feeling every second of it, before taking Mark’s bottom lip between his. Mark wraps his arms around Tom’s body and after a while of careful kissing, he asks entrance with his tongue and Tom lets him. Mark rolls him over again, not really believing this actually happening. He lets his hands draw Tom’s side, touching every inch on their way down to his stomach.

Tom sits up and Mark goes with him, sitting cross-legged between Tom’s freakishly long legs. Mark’s hands go for his face while Tom pulls the hem of Mark’s shirt, pulling it out of his body, Mark then does the same for Tom, his tattoos getting exposed and Mark leans down, bringing a hand around Tom’s neck to pull him closer and kiss the tattoos on his chest.

Tom takes a deep breath, fuck, they’re doing this! They’re doing it! He can’t help but play a little smile on his lips. Tom kisses the side of Mark’s head and caresses his neck while the older man’s hands and lips play with his chest. Both of them are calm about it, taking their time carefully. Tom gets up and pulls Mark with him towards the bedroom. Mark watches him amazed as he follows.

 _“Lay on the bed”_ Tom says into his ear as they reach the bedroom. Mark goes for it and Tom takes off his jeans, he crawls on top of Mark slowly and kisses him again. He goes down with his kisses; he sucks on Mark’s neck, being sure to leave a hickey there, his breathing hitched.

Mark laughs when he sees Tom constantly looking back, staring at his neck for a few seconds and then back to lick and sucking on the same spot. “What are you doing?” He asks with a smile

“Tagging you” Tom says smiling to his eyes and Mark laughs again. Mark rolls him so they can lay on their sides and goes back to kissing him

“I’ve always been tagged as yours, Tom” Mark says pulling back a little, his hand running through Tom’s hair. Tom smiles and leans down to kiss him again before sliding back to his neck, to his chest, licking Mark’s nipple while teasing the other. A moan scapes Mark’s lips and Tom goes deeper, biting on his other nipple. He has to hear that again.

Mark whimpers and squirms underneath him. Tom goes under and kisses his stomach, his belly button, his navel and his crotch. Mark watches patiently as Tom makes his moves. Mark feels Tom’s little stubble scraping him. His heart leaps over as Tom pulls down his underwear and he puts his hands on the base of Mark’s cock, licking the tip.

“Fuck!” Mark hisses and throws his head back as Tom takes him in in full. Tom speeds up his movements and Mark moans and ruffles Tom’s hair. Tom does it perfectly and with practice, but Mark notices how he’s enjoying every second of it. “Shit, Tom! Where did you learn that?” Mark asks in his coarse voice again, he feels the younger one smiling against his throbbing dick.

Tom pulls out with a smacking sound and Mark whimpers without Tom’s wet mouth around his cock, but he crawls on top of Mark again and kisses him urgently, slowing it a bit, until he pulls out calmly, resting his forehead against Mark’s. “With you all along” He says and starts kissing Mark’s neck again. Mark whimpers, he’s not sure if it’s for all the kissing or for Tom’s words. Tom grew his kisses on Mark’s neck up to his ear “I want you inside me, Marky” Tom pleads and Mark lets out a loud moan as Tom wraps a hand around his dick.

Mark grits his teeth a little “If you stop teasing me a bit”

Tom leans into his face and grins again “Wasn’t that what you wanted?” He plays with Mark’s chin and leans over to the drawer where he knew Mark kept all of his key stuff. Mark sits up on the bed and as soon as Tom turns back around to him, he grabs his friend by the shoulder and crashes his lips against his again, making him fall under him on the mattress, without pulling away, Mark grabs his hand and takes the condom away from his palm, the lube having fallen somewhere else.

Mark sits on Tom’s lap as the younger one lay on the bed, watching him. Mark smirks as he wraps the condom open with his teeth and rolls it on himself, Tom looks at him fascinated. Mark takes the lube by their side and spreads it on his throbbing dick. Before positioning himself, he grabs a pillow and places it under Tom’s head, to comfort him. He kisses Tom tenderly as he grabs his head with one hand and lifts it, placing the pillow with the other.

“Ohh, smooth move!” Tom whines as Mark pulls back “Thank you”

Mark smiles at him and sits back between his legs “You ready?”

Tom takes a deep breath “Yeah, go deep”

Mark spreads lube on his finger and carefully pushes it into Tom, who hisses a little. Mark knows his way around his friend too well. Mark blinks at the man squirming underneath him, he takes a breath, Tom looks beautiful with his flushed cheeks and red skin. Mark almost wants to pick him into his arms and just tell him how beautiful he is. All over again. It doesn’t matter to him how much he’s said it over the weekend, the past, their entire lives. After Mark pushes in the third finger, he pulls out and grabs Tom’s neck, kissing him again. Tom kisses him back surprised. Mark leans into his ear and breathes a little

“Go for it, big guy” Tom winks at him and Mark smiles a little before placing himself between Tom’s legs again.

“Ready?” Mark asks while caressing his stomach, kissing it a little, Tom nods and Mark looks down at his hole. He wonders how the fuck did his dick ever fit in there; it looks so small compared to his head. How does anything fit in there at all?!?

Tom notices Mark getting nervous and reaches a hand to cup his face; Mark looks up at him and Tom smiles “It’s okay, Mark, you know that” Mark nods; he leans down again and kisses Tom once again. He sits again and very timidly puts his head inside Tom, he winces a little and Mark looks up, but Tom can only smile for him to go on. Very slowly Mark puts it all inside, moaning as he does so, with every inch. In the end, he just lets out one heavy grunt as he leans on top of Tom again. Mark lays his head on Tom’s chest and Tom caresses his hair.

“Why. Are. You. So.” Mark says taking deep breaths, he turns his hand into a fist and, in a gesture of awkwardness, punches the bed lightly _“Tight?!?”_

Tom laughs, he leaves a kiss on Mark’s head and hugs him tightly “You don’t remember it?”

Mark shakes his head “Not like this”. Tom takes a deep breath “I’m going to start now, alright?” He asks and Tom whimpers

“Oh God, please”

Mark smirks at him, their lips just a few inches away from each other as they looked into their eyes. Within Mark’s first few thrusts, Tom had already closed his eyes and thrown his head back. Mark starts to go faster as he notices Tom’s pleasure. He manages to speed up when Tom’s breathing went faster, and to slow down when Tom started to whimper.  
He surprised moans and gasps at one time when he realizes this is all smooth, he knows his way into Tom way too well, it was unbelievable. The way he quirked and shook his head, how he desperately gasps for air, how he graces Mark’s butt and thigh with his fingers.

Mark’s cheeks are flushed when he leans down to kiss Tom at one point. Tom starts to kiss him but isn’t able after once Mark speeds up again. Mark bites his bottom lip and keeps his eyes open to look at Tom’s quick and rapidly, and a bit desperate, gasping as he keeps his mouth open to echo his sounds. Mark watches him fascinated.

“That’s… Fuck, _that’s…”_ Tom starts to pant as he closes his eyes even tighter. Mark suddenly stops, Tom whines loudly with a grunt.

 _“Shh,_ just a sec” Mark says as he looks around a little, he grabs a pillow that laid aside and places it by their side. Tom looks at him raising an eyebrow “Raise your hip”

Tom looks down at their crotches “I need your help”

Mark rolls his eyes as Tom smiles and they raise their bodies, Mark places the pillow underneath Tom’s back and leans in again, back to thrusting. Tom lets out one heavy, broken moan.

“You like that, huh?” Mark asks as he speeds up again

“It’s just so much bett… Fuck!” Tom pants as his hand slides down to his dick, pumping it to Mark’s rhythm.

Mark can’t believe how hot he is.

“I’m gonna cum” Tom pants as his hips start jerking “Mark, I…”

Mark moans “Fuck, say that again” He says leaning into Tom’s ear

“I… Mark, I…” Tom says before moaning loudly and grunting a little, spilling all his load into his hand. Mark watches him as he pumps his cum into his own hand, preventing it from spilling into the bed. Mark looks at the faces his friend is making and when Tom relaxes, he lets out another moan too and grunts as he thrusts into Tom again, reaching his orgasm.

Tom lets him enjoy it even if it’s over for him. Mark pulls out tiredly and throws his body by Tom’s side on the bed; he ties the condom and throws it on the floor, careless of where it might’ve landed. Mark closes his eyes and breathes in and out, in the afterglow of his orgasm.

Tom watches him and reaches an arm to put under Mark’s head, hugging him.

“Are you okay?” Mark asks, still not opening his eyes.

Tom puts his face closer to Mark’s and touches their noses together, he nods as he caresses Mark’s nose with his. Mark smiles.

Mark takes a deep breath and puts an arm around Tom’s middle, scooting closer to him. He moves his nose a little into Tom’s face, trying to find his lips, he kisses Tom slowly, passionately, searching for something in them, anything. Mark pulls back and both of them open their eyes, looking into each other’s.

“Thank you” Mark blurs out as he cups Tom’s face in his.

Tom smiles “You’re welcome”

“I… I gotta write” Mark says, his eyes staring into Tom’s, he takes in a nervous breath.

“I should be going home anyway” Tom excuses himself as he gets up, away from Mark’s grip. Tom jumps off the bed and starts looking for his pants. He gets them in his shaking hands before Mark sits up on the bed and places a hand on top of his. Tom freezes as Mark takes the pants away and grabs his hand with his left one. Tom’s stomach churns up when Mark touches him.

“Come in” Mark says nodding back to the bed “You’re sleeping here tonight”

Tom frowns a little “You’re sure?”

Mark takes a deep breath “You wanna go back to an empty house? I can always write later, anyway…”

Tom remembers about Jim. He could not give a shit for him right now.

Tom gulps, but smiles “Okay” He says swept away into Mark’s embrace as the cold surrounds them and Mark pulls the sheets over them as they snuggle back into the bed.

 


	12. December 26th-29th, 2016

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooooo I just wanted to remind everyone of the halloween challenge and that I already did mine hear hear 
> 
> blink-slash182.livejournal.com/398606.html
> 
> So basically the plot focuses on Tom, who has nightmares about killing people, and in the morning, those people really are dead. There is a little of skippus on it and I really love the plot and the story so read it if you have the chance to =)
> 
> This chapter is one of my favorites also and I love all the bicker I live for that ending scene I swear
> 
> Another fun thing about this, the song that Tom is singing is called You Might Have Noticed, by The Academy Is... . The day I wrote that scene was just a day after Tom left the band, in the old version of the story, this was already towards the end, just thought I would put that little fun fact in there (I was feeling very emotional when I wrote it so I decided to keep it even with all the plot changes)
> 
> Oh and all the bands that Matt mentions are fake bands, except for the ones that... You will see...
> 
> Have fun!

Tom wakes up cold and disoriented in Mark’s bed. It isn’t an uncommon scenery, really, except for the fact that this time he’s completely naked, which wouldn’t be unusual if he was at his house. He remembers last night with every detail; he can’t help but to smile a little to himself. No, Tom! Fuck! He probably doesn’t even want to talk to you now. He doesn’t really want to get up and face ‘the morning after’, but he has to, and since it’s Mark, it shouldn’t be so hard. So, he just gets up and dresses himself in some of Mark’s clothes like he always allowed himself to.

Tom gets out of the room and moves over to the kitchen to find Mark sitting at the kitchen table with his laptop open, eye focused. Tom frowns since his friend is too busy typing to even notice him in the doorway “How long are you sitting there?” Tom asks as he walks in.

Mark raises his eyes and looks at Tom, he pushes his glasses up his nose and Tom smiles as he grabs himself a mug from the cabinet. Fuck! Those glasses!

“Hm, I don’t know, it’s hm” Mark says looking at the clock on the wall “11 AM. I should be awaken for about five hours now?” He shrugs “Sorry I left you alone, I really had to start writing…”

“Nah, it’s okay” Tom shrugs as he grabs the coffee jar from under the machine “But you ran out of coffee”

“Shit” Mark says quickly looking into his own mug, seeing it was empty too “Can you make some more?” He asks

“Sure” Tom says and prepares the machine, he turns to Mark and see how he’s still typing. He’s typing about what they did, what they said to each other, what he felt. Tom takes a deep breath “Where’s Sally?” Tom asks confused

“In Toni’s room, sniffing shit” Mark tells him plainly “God, it’s like she’s in paradise…”

“Have you eaten anything?” Mark shakes his head, looking up at Tom quickly “Gonna make me a sandwich, want one too?” He asks pulling out the cheese and ham out of the fridge and Mark makes a humming gesture to show he wanted to eat. He notices Mark putting a mint drop on his lips. Tom quickly made sandwiches for both of them and handed Mark the coffee. Mark munches on the sandwich and sips on the coffee with no words towards Tom. When Tom finishes the sandwich he notices he should probably leave, letting Mark just be. He gets up and puts his plate and the mug into the sink, Mark keeps typing, already having finished his coffee but his sandwich still half eaten on the plate.

“I think I’ll go home now” Tom says as he turns around, Mark looks up.

“No no!” He shakes his head “I’m not ignoring you, I’m almost done here, we can watch a movie, what do you think?” Mark asks as he goes back to typing

“You should sleep, Mark, now is not the best time”

Mark sighs “Come on, just sit here” He says and pulls out the chair by his side, Tom frowns as he gets closer and sits, he looks at the screen and sees how much Mark has typed “Believe it or not, I think I am managing to do three stories at the same time here, isn’t that great?!?” He asks as he shows Tom how there were multiple, uncountable Office tabs open. Tom’s jaw drops.

“Wow” Tom sits back on his chair

“I’m about to drain out my ideas here, we can watch a movie so I can relax a little and try to pull out the remains I still have, but I am too exhausted to keep this going on for much long if I don’t take a break… Is that okay? If you keep me company? It’s kind of weird to stay here and not have kids around…”

Tom frowns “Hm, no, of course not”

Mark keeps on typing as Tom answers “So, hm, you wanna pick the movie?” Mark asks without looking again, too busy with his computer

“Yeah, sure” Tom says and slowly gets up, walking back to the living room and looking through Netflix. He gets undecided between a few and goes back to the kitchen “Which one?” He asks as Mark raises a finger to him as he finishes typing a paragraph; he turns around and looks, fixing the glasses on his face. He sets up Forrest Gump on Netflix and comes back into the kicthen and waiting for Mark to come back into the living room, but after some good five minutes, he apparently still hasn’t made any effort to come. Tom sighs and gets up to go to the living room. Mark was still typing furiously

“I swear, just this one!” Mark says and Tom stands still for another full minute. Mark types in a little more, but he frowns as he looks at what he’s written.

“You wanna have lunch?" Tom asks and Mark looks up at him "I can make dinner before we see the movie, what about chicken since you have some frozen here?”

Mark shrugs “Sure” He says and Tom pulls out the chicken strips and the rice from the freezer. He puts the rice to heat and the strips on the oven after they unfreeze a little. He sits on the table and looks at Mark’s thoughtful face, not typing anything.

“Is everything okay?” Tom asks, Mark looks up and fixes his glasses on his nose, shaking his head

“Not really, it’s just… These things, there are some stuff I can’t really get a grasp on, you know?”

“What are your thoughts on?” Tom asks as he rests his back on the cabinet, leaning his hands on the railing. Mark finally looks up.

“Well, hm, it’s this one scene where I think that I need more foreplay, you know? I mean they just kiss, and there’s some other stuff but there’s a little of blowjobs on the other two stories, this one I want something different but I can’t find anything to work with…”

“Hm, okay” Tom says thinking a little, sucking on his licorice a little “You know what would be good?” He asks and Mark raises an eyebrow, motioning him to go on. Tom ponders his head a little “Yeah, have you ever heard of hm, let’s be raw here, crack licking?”

Mark frowns, a little disgusted “I don’t wanna know where that goes”

Tom laughs “You want to be a gay porn writer and you don’t wanna know that? Fuck, Mark”

Mark sighs “Alright, fuck! Tell me” He gestures his hand for Tom to just say it

“It’s when…” Tom starts with a smile “You just go and you know, pleasure a man or a woman’s sensitive area with your mouth” He smirks “But backwards”

Mark stares at him; he opens his mouth, but then closes it

“Have you ever done it?” He suddenly asks

Tom chuckles and pulls the licorice out of his lips with a popping sound “Depends on what point of view you want to see”

“The good or the bad?” Mark asks, a smirk starting to play on his lips. Tom moves all the way across the kitchen to sit on Mark’s side, he slowly pulls out the chair and makes himself comfortable, before leaning his elbow on the table

“The bad” He simply says with a smirk staring into Mark eyes.

Mark knows that look.

He takes a deep breath

“Okay” Mark lets it sink in “Tell me how it is then...”

Tom smirks again

“You still have one of those mint drops with you?” He asks and Mark frowns.

“Yeah” Mark replies as he searches his glasses case, pulling a single drop out, handing it to Tom. Tom takes it and drops the licorice on the table before opening the little wrapping and putting the candy on his mouth, Mark just watches him confused.

“Alright” Tom sits up on the chair again “You can do it and just lick it like a normal person who you know that doesn’t want to do it would, or you can add this” Tom says as he puts the drop between his teeth, showing it to Mark.

Mark frowns

“What the fuck, Tom?”

“Watch” Tom says as he takes the drop back again on his tongue. He took Mark’s left hand in his, Mark gasps a bit when he does, a tingling feeling he always felt whenever Tom took his left hand. Tom caresses it with his fingers, tracing the scars, the burns, the stitches. Tom is having one of his little moments when he feels guilty over everything, everything they had, everything they lost, everything they’ve been through together since they were young, up to Mark’s kids, Tom’s career.

Tom smiles sadly before leaning in and leaving a soft kiss on the back of his hand, Mark lets him. Tom pulls back and stares at Mark’s hand again before slowly blowing on its back, Mark smiles a little.

“You felt it?” Tom asks raising his head again

“Yeah!” Mark smiles “That was expected though, but you made it so much more exposed, that tingling feeling is awesome” He says and takes his hand back, rubbing the back to shake it off “That’s good”

“Will you forgive me?” Tom suddenly asks

Mark frowns “Tom, I already did, you know that” Mark says looking at his hand again, he smiles sadly.

“I wasn’t talking about the accident…” Tom says simply and Mark looks back at him, Tom’s eyes are sad and searching, his lips open. Mark waits but Tom doesn’t follow, he places a hand on the back of Mark’s head and just stares at him, still, licking his lips as he stared at Mark’s.

“Tom?” Mark warns him, but Tom only shifts closer. Mark feels his pants getting tighter, his heart beating faster; he could only look at Tom, long for Tom more and more.

“I’m sorry we ever came to this” Tom blurs out, staring at Mark’s lips, his face an inch away from Mark’s “I’m fucking sorry, I should’ve done something before but now it’s just too late and I…”

Mark places a hand on Tom’s neck too; he shakes his head as he looks at Tom “It’s not too late, Tom” Mark says, Tom closes his eyes and takes in everything. Mark could feel Tom’s minty breath just an inch away. “There’s two things I regret in this life. One I couldn’t do anything about, but the other…” He says and places a hand under Tom’s chin, forcing him to open his eyes and stare at Mark’s “Was to let you go”

Tom smiles sadly “Not once, I ever thought we wouldn’t end up together”

“We did end up together after all, Tom…” Mark explains sadly “Just not the way we planned…”

Mark then made the move in which he inches his lips closer to Tom’s, teasing a little before the actual kiss. Tom falls into the trap he set up himself, he kisses Mark back, pulling him back tighter, it’s shocking and electrifying. All over again.

Mark bites on his bottom lip carefully before Tom licks his upper lip, asking for entrance; Mark sucks it one last time before letting him in. Their tongues crash again and it’s unbelievable how they can feel like this after the third time so far. Mark’s hands slide to Tom’s side, sliding down to his hip, pulling him closer, feeling the bare skin there, right under his shirt, Mark’s shirt, fuck, he didn’t even know anymore. Mark only pulls back a little, looking at Tom who whimpers when he’s not close anymore.

Mark smiles a little and places his hand on the side of Tom’s face, cupping it, he still feels the mint on his own lips, it’s fucking hot.

“Stay here” Mark blurs out “Be with me until the holiday ends, the kids get back, you need to go to work, just… Let’s just have these next four or five days together and nothing of this will ever be touched on, spoken of, or even thought of when it ends. It all gets back to normal”

Tom gulps “You sure?”

Mark nods “I am definetly sure, Tom” He says and leans in to kiss and tease Tom’s neck, kissing it lightly before sucking on a spot where he remembers that always drove him insane

Tom lets out another whimper, right before a moan.

Mark smiles against his neck. Some things never change.

“Alright” Tom says and Mark raises his head to look at him “I’ll do it”

Mark smiles; he flies over Tom again, crashing their lips together once again.

***

Mark wakes up with cold feet, he rubs his eyes with the back of his hand and looks down, raising his head, his feet uncovered from the sheets. Sally is sitting at the foot of the bed, she lazily gets up and walks up to Mark, she licks his face and he scrunches up his nose. She looks at him for a while but he can only groan at her. Sally climbs off the bed and runs outside, letting him know she was already up for the day. He tried to raise the sheet to kick it down but when he brought his body up, he felt an arm wrapped around him.

Mark looks back and sees Tom peacefully sleeping by his side, his lips slightly parted as his chest raised and came back down as he breathed. Mark pulls back his arm and puts the sheet over them again, being sure to cover their feet. Mark turns his body in the bed and lays facing Tom, he wraps an arm around his friend and tries to sleep again but he can’t, so instead he just watches him sleep.

Mark smiles and leaves a small kiss on the corner of Tom’s nose, then another on his cheek. He can’t even measure how much he likes this, that Tom’s here with him for the holidays and that they’ll be everything they never were. He smiles at the thought Tom will be with him all this time. After about an hour, Tom slowly starts to wake up and Mark beholds him with a smile, laughing as Tom rubbed his eyes

“Were you watching me, you jackass?” Tom smiles

“Maybe” Mark shrugged as Tom propped his head on his arm, leaning his elbow on the bed, looking back at his friend “Good morning” Mark slowly smiles and Tom leans in to give him a peck on his lips, when he pulls back, Tom is blushing like fire.

“Good morning to you too, handsome” he says and Mark’s inside twitch “What do you wanna do today? You wanna write?”

“Actually” Mark started “I thought about writing a little now in the morning and then later I need to fix the garden and do some groceries, we’re starting to run out of food...”

Tom smiles, it’s not about Mark and his kids, it’s about the two of them.

“Sure” Tom says getting up, Mark follows him “You’re gonna shower?”

Mark nods “Yeah, you wanna come?”

Tom ponders a little; he gets closer to Mark and wraps his arms around the older one’s shoulder, looking down at him, since Mark was shorter than him “I think you’ve had enough last night, I am not made of steel” Tom says and Mark chuckles a little sad “So you go take a shower and I’ll turn on your computer. After you’re done, I’ll take my shower and make breakfast while you write, so you get time, okay?”

Mark slowly starts to smile and nods, Tom gives him a peck on the cheek before Mark goes into the bathroom.

***

“Tom! Look at me! Look!” Mark stops jumping; Tom apparently still hasn’t seen him “Look at me! You homo!” Mark yells as he throws a pebble rock on his friend’s head, who dropped the shovel right away and saw Mark waving at him from the roof. Sally barks at Tom for the sudden drop

“Calm down, Sally! Mark! What the fuck!?! Get down!” Tom laughs as he yells

“Get up here! Let’s do shenanigans here oh my God!” Mark says excitedly

“SHUT UP!” They hear from the next house and Sally barks again and as for Mark, he waves happily back

“Hiii!” He says and looks at Tom down at the garden “What a nice neighborhood!”

“Mark, I’m not getting up there, please come down” Tom says with an amused smile on his face

Mark sighs defeated “Coming down” He says and goes back to come down by the stairs that were on the side of the house. “Sally!” Mark calls her, and when he gets her attention, he runs around the house, and she immediately chases him, barking after him. Tom had perfectly prepared a stack of dry leaves and Mark had been watching it from the top of the house.

He keeps running as he jumps on top of the stack Tom had set up, Sally follows him right after, tackling Mark

“Mark! Come on!” Tom whines as he drops the shovel as he took out a dead plant, helping Mark take care of his garden “Sally, don’t help him! Sally! It took me so long to get that done and you didn’t help me at all, Mark!” Tom laughs, now amused “This is your house!”

“Come on, Tom! Come here!” Mark laughs as he gets up and grabs Tom by the hand; he pulls Tom and gets him into it before they jumped into it again. Mark takes one of the leaves and tickles Tom’s face with it before running away. Tom grabs him by the waist and pulls him back into top of him

“You’re not getting anywhere, young man!” Tom laughs as he tickles his friend.

“Young man your ass!” Mark yells as gets up, getting away “Come on, let’s go do our groceries” He says and gives his hand to Tom, helping him get up.

Tom’s stomach twitches again as he pats his clothes “Yeah, sure” He says with a warming smile and follows Mark as he pulls down the stairs

“Just leave those there. I don’t fucking care” Mark says pointing at the leaves as Sally continues to play in them

***

“No, but just listen to this…” Tom starts “There are paintings about this, they’re hidden in places, but… Fuck, Mark, just, I need to go see these someday, you hear me?”

Mark smiles as he pats his cigarette into the ashtray that’s hanging on the side of the tub they’re both sitting in, face to face. He smiles as the water makes a funny sound when he brings the stick back to his lips. He amusedly smiles when Tom starts talking about some other theory that Mark himself has never heard before

He takes a drag and looks into Tom’s eyes “I’m sure you’ll get there someday”

Their legs are entwined together and their backs are hunched so they can sit close. Tom taps his hands to his knees, Mark let him take out a smoke out his stash just before they got into the bathroom and now he’s enjoying himself as he watches his friend freak out over things likes he always does when he’s high. Mark brings his body closer to Tom’s and places the tip of his fingers on his knee, tickling it, while his other hand still held the cigarette in the air.

Mark squints his eyes, Tom looks at him short-breathed. Mark smiles a little to himself and takes a last drag out of his cigarette, putting it out on the ashtray on the floor, stretching himself out a little, Tom watches him mesmerized as Mark turns back to him and scoots closer on the water, wrapping his arms around the younger one’s neck. Tom hugs him back, leaning his head on Mark’s shoulder. Eventually Mark gets his left arm off Tom and starts tracing the tattoos on Tom’s left arm, Tom smiles at the attention Mark is giving him

“Just admit you’re slightly high” Tom whispers and Mark smiles a little

“Only slightly” Mark laughs

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure” Mark shrugs

“Have you ever thought about getting a tattoo?” He says taking Mark’s left hand off his arm and taking a look at it, tracing the scars there with him thumb, suddenly sad and guilty.

“I…” Mark starts to think to himself “I thought about getting Elise’s name on my wrist” He says and shakes his head sadly to himself “But that was a long long time ago, you know… When she was still alive”

“You think about getting any other tattoos?” Tom asks, still running his fingers on Mark’s damaged skin.

Mark looks at Tom’s face as he concentrates on the traces of his skin “When we were dating, I used to think about getting a tiny alien, you know?” Mark laughs and Tom looks up to him, looking into Mark’s piercing blue eyes “I also like the idea of getting an octopus”

“You should!” Tom smiles, still looking into his eyes “You totally should get an octopus!”

Mark frowns and laughs a little “Tom, I’m old, too old to get a tattoo, don’t you think?”

Tom shrugs and smiles back “It’s never too late, how about getting it on your hand?” Tom suggests

“How?” Mark asks confused, now looking at his own hand

“Like” Tom smiles as his indicator goes around tracing on the back of Mark’s hand “Here would be his head” He says as he circles the outside of Mark’s thumb on the back of his hand, going over the first knuckles of his four fingers and then the side of Mark’s hand. Tom takes a deep breath “And here would be his tentacles…” He smiles as he hand goes up Mark’s arm

“I… I love it” Mark smiles and chuckles at the end “I really do”

“Wait, you liked it?”

“I wanna get it done” Mark says “I’m sober enough to know that”

Tom gives Mark a huge smile and leans in to give him a kiss, to which Mark surprisedly smiles into

“I will find you the best artist, I promise” Tom says pulling away, placing both their foreheads together as he looked into Mark’s eyes “You’re gonna have the best tattoo ever, I swear”

“Thank you” Mark smiles back, still looking into Tom’s eyes.

They stay like that for a while until Tom whimpers

“I’m fucking hungry” He says in a needy voice

“Okay, let’s get you some food” Mark says patting his hair

“And I’m fucking horny” Tom cries out

“Well, we can take care of that later, alright?” Mark laughs and Tom nods, pulling the drain plug out of the floor "When you're not high anymore, maybe..."

***

_“IF YOU’RE UNDER THE IMPRESSION I’M ALIGHT, I GUESS YOU NEVER NOTICED, I GUESS YOU MIGHT’VE KNOW: I’VE BEEN HOLDING THIS TOGETHER FOR SO LONG!!!! BUT I GUESS YOU MIGHT’VE NOTICED, WELL, I GUESS YOU…”_

Tom then starts to fake up drums as the music went into another part, Mark laughed as he did so, he was sitting on the floor of Toni’s room as he flipped through her albums. Meanwhile his best friend was dancing fiercely and singing from the top of his lungs to the album they had picked. The introduction was sort of calm but Tom felt like he needed to sing it like he would never talk again.

 _“YOU SET ME UP TO LEAVE ME, YOU WANTED TO FEEL, SHALLOW LOVE, SHALLOW LIVES”_ Tom keeps singing and Mark laughs again at how he tries to make his voice sound even thinner than it already is.

Tom thrusts his hips forward and points at Mark with a giant stupid smile on his face. Right then Mark wonders how they managed to be best friends throughout all these years, all this fucking time, even with all they’ve been through.

Tom sighs defeated and rolls his eyes while still with a smile “Ah! This song always gets to me!” He says and flops down by Mark’s side; he wraps an arm around Mark’s shoulder as he leaned in to look through the CD’s as the song kept going on towards the end of the album. He noticed Mark staring and smirked at him “What’s up, uncle fucker?”

Mark laughs as he looks back to the pile of cd’s on his feet “Nothing, I was just thinking about you, you know?”

Tom pulls back his arm to open a lyric book “What about me?”

Mark props his body weight on a hand behind his back on the floor, taking a better look at the man in front of him “How we’ve been friends all these years, even if all the relationships, the fights, the whole package… I mean, should we still be?”

Tom laughs it off “Of course, if we’re here. If not, we would know”

“Yeah but you would be willing to throw off all these years if we ever drifted?” Mark frowns “What if we had a different life? What if we split into different ways? What if we ended up together after all? What If, in the end, blink worked out?!?”

Tom stopped to think for a few seconds “Well, if you take the pain out of love, love won’t exist” Tom said simply “Everything we had, even if we stopped talking right now and I leave this room and never come back, you need to understand that everything we had will always be there, be here” He says touching his left pec, looking into Mark’s eyes “In your heart”

"You are one corny fucker" Mark laughs

“All the memories, all the laughter and even all the kisses” Tom continued “From every single joke, to every single scream, from the littlest tear to the biggest breakthrough. I will always have the memories of the hurricane you were in my life, Mark. About everything you did for me and to me, to everyone we talk to, being it every day or just once in a lifetime. To all the songs and all the music we listened to together, to… Somewhere in the universe we will always be laughing, we will always be kissing, we will always… Be together, you know?”

Mark smiles sadly and leans his head into Tom’s shoulder “Thank you for being my best friend and well” He says with laughter “My biggest fan apparently”

Tom smiles “No, I thank you, for everything”

They both smile to each other, lost in one another, when the doorbell rings.

 _“God!”_ Mark throws his head back “I’ll get it!” He says and gets up; Tom follows him and throws himself on the couch, turning on the TV.

Mark opens the door and his mouth opens when he sees no one other than his boss on the doorway

“Hey, Mark, how are you?” Matt says excitedly with a wave, he’s wearing his trendy black jacket with patches all over it and a black beanie that perfectly leaves some of his dark blonde hair our, Mark smiles while looking at him, seeing him smile back like that, but then Mark frowns confused

“Hey, hm, Matt, what…” He stammers, trying to think about something else and looks back at Tom, who’s looking curiously at what’s happening “What are you doing here?” Mark asks

“I… I finished these comics and I… I thought they might, hm, inspire you if you know what I mean…” Matt smiles and winks. God, Mark could’ve melted right there “So… How is it going?” Matt whispers “Is that your boy?” He asks pointing at Tom.

Tom notices the whispers and decides to get up

“I… That is my friend, Tom, hm, he’s… He’s been over for the holidays…” Mark says

“Oh! _Sekret Machines_ Tom!” Matt smiles as he sees Tom coming over “I love your books, man! I was telling Mark about them the other day; I can’t wait for the next one…”

“Hm, Thanks!”

Mark scratches the back of his head, then points the two between each other “Tom, this is Matt, and hm, Matt, this is my friend Tom from the books and from, hm, blink, you know?”

“Oh yeah, I also heard Cheshire Cat, I already talked to Mark about this but it’s some great work, I know it was over twenty years ago, but still…” Matt shrugs, still smiling at Tom

“Thanks” Tom nods again

"I’m… I’m Mark’s boss… In theory actually…” Matt continues and extends his hand for Tom to shake

“You mean you would be if you hadn’t fired him…” Tom says unimpressed, ironically shaking Matt’s hand back and Mark sighs, scratching the back of his head nervously

“Thank you for making it sound like it was my decision” Matt smiles “I am really glad to take credit for something that wasn’t up to me! Aw!” He says with a laughter, placing both hands over his heart to fake compassion towards Tom’s indirectly mean comment

Mark looks between them confused “I am the boss at my company, has Mark told you about that?” Tom replies, cocking his hip towards his friend.

“Hm, no?” Matt says confused “Actually, we just talked about blink and the books…” He says, looking Tom into his eyes.

Mark smirks, he looks up at Tom and waits for an answer as they looked at each other, waiting for the next move. Tom basically looks like he’s biting his tongue into his cheek so hard

“I have my own website, we talk about conspiracy theories, so I get to travel a lot, you know?” He starts “I’ve also written books and done movies and documentaries. I guess you might know them if you don’t watch anything besides what you make…” Tom lets out a fake laugh “You know, _porn_ …” Tom says whispering at the end, looking around towards the street, trying to make it look like he’s making sure no one has heard him “This is a family neighborhood after all…”

Matt laughs “Actually I’ve only worked with this for about a couple of months now, before that I used to produce music…” He says pulling back a little the knit beanie on his head

“Awesome!” Mark smiles “I didn’t know that you produced music... I mean, I know you worked with music, just did not know you produced it” He smiles and looks at Tom, who gives him a mean look, Mark sends back the look before turning back to Matt, basically telling Tom to just let it be “What bands have you produced?” He then asks excitedly

“Hm…” Matt smiles as he thinks “Magical Flight, Headphone Mayhem…”

“Never heard of them…” Tom says

“Jonas Hugg, Flower Bottom”

“Oh! I love Jonas Hugg!” Mark exclaims

“Still, don’t know who that is…” Tom says again

“Meghan Stabbs?”

“Nothing” Tom says, shaking his head

“You’ve never heard Never _Ending Summer_?” Matt asks and Tom shakes his head _“You’ve got a tight hope for me…”_ Matt starts singing _“All my feelings falling short…?”_

Tom looks confused

 _“This time around I’ll do okay; I never said I’d be hurt when you’d leave…”_ Mark and Matt sing together

“I love that song!” Mark says, jumping up and down a little like a kid

“Mark already knows this buy I also worked with Finest Comedy!” Matt says excitedly “It was just a bit before Adam passed away but God, it was amazing and they were the best and I remember they were my first big band…”

“Who?”

“Fuck, Tom, stop lying! You love Finest Comedy! You’re always the one who says that Adam and their bassist fucked each other!” Mark says

"And my theory was confirmed when he and the space man started dating!"

"That doesn't prove anything about Adam!" Mark protests

“You stop lying! I’ve never even heard of them!” Tom says, full blown knowing he was lying to just get to Matt, Finest Comedy had been his favorite band for the longest time

“You never heard of Finest Comedy?” Matt asks incredulous

“Hey, hm, you know that one band that was friends with them? Oh my God, what was their name? Something about batteries?” Mark interrupts him

“Alkaline Trio?” Matt asks with a smile

“Yes! I love them!” Mark says clapping

“I met them once actually…”

“Really?” Mark asks excitedly

“Yeah, their singer is douchebag” Matt shrugs “Nothing special about them…"

"Oh! Have you ever met the guys from Angels and Airwaves?"

"Ugh" Tom sighs "Stop talking about that band! They are insanely innacurate about their space shit!"

"I thought you liked them!" Mark whines

"Space doesn't have any sound, Mark!" Tom bickers, placing a hand on his hip 

"Hm, actually, I need to go, Annie’s alone at home with Ryan, so…” He says pointing back to his car, starting to walk backwards a little "We can talk about music some other time..."

"Oh, sure" Mark rubs a hand on his arm nervously “Don’t worry, thanks for the comics!” Mark smiles and Matt waves as he leaves

“Bye Tom” Matt says with his back to them

“Bye bye, farewell!” Tom yells quicly as he closes the door, he turns around and starts walking away, avoiding Mark.

“What the hell was that, Tom?!?” Mark asks angrily “Do you think that was normal? God, you’re such a hypocrite, that was my fucking boss!” Mark yells as Tom further walks away. Mark places the comics by the door and follows him “Tom, I’m angry with you! Come back!” He says as he reaches Tom “Look at me!”

Tom turns back to him and grabs him, giving Mark a breath-taking kiss. Mark gasps surprised and tries to get out of him, but Tom keeps him in. Mark eventually gives in and lets Tom kiss him, when he’s calmer, and melted like butter on Tom’s arms, pink lips and flustered eyes, Tom pulls back and looks at him, his brown eyes desperate at Mark’s blue ones

“Why are you doing this?” Mark asks quietly, seeing the pained expression on Tom’s eyes

“Because he likes you…” Tom adds quietly “I know that much…”

Tom turns away and walks into the kitchen, closing the door behind himself

Mark just watches him go away with an amused smile on his lips.


	13. December 31st, 2016

**December 22nd 1992**

_Mark hears a knock on his door downstairs; he hasn’t fallen asleep yet, so he hears it loud and clear, he shoots up from his bed and hurries downstairs. His mom is gonna be mad if she wakes up with another neighbor bothering them about Christmas lights or the signing gnome that was actually from the next house to their left, but for some reason everyone thought it was theirs._

_He opens the door without looking at the magic eye, just wanting to get this over with already. Mark then sees his tall friend in front of him, breathing quickly and tears on his eyes, a blotch of red around his left eye, as if he had just been punched._

_“Tom?!?” He asks concerned “What… What are you doing here?” He pulls Tom inside and closes the door “God! You’re freezing!” Mark rubs both of Tom's arms on his palms, trying to warm him up, he takes Tom to the couch and makes him sit down. Mark puts both hands on Tom’s shoulders, making the younger boy pay attention to him “I’m gonna go get you a blanket, just wait here” Mark waits until Tom responds with a nod before he rushes upstairs, he comes down with the blanket and he goes into the kitchen, coming back with a glass of water and a wet cloth_

_He puts the blanket around Tom while the younger boy just stares ahead of him, trying to control his breathing. Mark hands him the glass, to which Tom drinks all in one go. He takes the glass away and puts it on the coffee table, which is reflecting the lights from the Christmas tree at the end of the room, he also hands Tom the wet cloth and he puts it carefully over his eye._

_“Ouch!” Tom says when the cloth hits him, but Mark just hisses at him_

_“Shhh, just stay still, you have dried blood already…” Mark sighs, he carefully sits by Tom’s side. Tom is still desperately gasping for breath when Mark finishes cleaning his eye. Mark looks at him with pity, he just wants to finish his pain, take it away, this isn’t his Tom, his happy and joyful Tom, this is a good boy someone broke apart._

_Mark reaches up a hand and cleans away Tom’s tears, pulling him into a hug. Tom wraps both arms around him and places his head on the older boy’s chest, and still tugging on the blanket. Mark sighs and caresses Tom’s hair, placing a kiss on top of his head._

_“You don’t need to tell me what happened if you don’t want to…” Mark whispers, his thumbs on Tom’s reddened cheeks after a few minutes when Tom cools down a bit more “You can stay here as much as you like, you don’t have to go back home and see your dad, alright? Even if it’s only for…”_

_“It wasn’t at home…” Tom says as he sits up, but not getting away from Mark’s warmth or embrace_

_Mark frowns “What was it then?” He says looking worried at Tom’s face, which is illuminated by the red and green lights_

_“William” Tom says simply “I… I’m not ready, Mark. I… You were right; William wanted to speed things too fast, I… I’m scared.” He shakes his head, his eyes pooling with tears again. Mark’s eyes soften as he looks at his friend broken like that “Thank you for all you’ve done for me to come to terms with my sexuality but… I’m not ready, I’m not ready!”_

_“You’re not ready for what, Tom?”_

_“Why… Why does guys always feel like they have to hide what they have with other guys? Why can’t I just be straight? I just want someone who will invest time in me…” Tom blurs out “I just want someone to like me back and you were right! I don’t need someone who is gonna hide me under the mat and just rush things so no one ever finds out…”_

_Mark sighs “I know men can be jerks” He says “You wanna tell me what happened?” Mark asks carefully and Tom sighs_

_“After you and me fought earlier I called him and asked if he wanted to go out and he said yes, so… So we went out to a party or something and we decided to go back to his house and I was so excited I was prepared and I was so ready, but… But halfway through we stopped in an alleyway and he wanted to do it there instead of going to his place” Tom explains, trying to keep his breathing at pace “I said no but he kept going and I shoved him away and then he punched me” Tom explains and takes a deep breath “He came onto me and I struggled but I somehow managed to just ran out of there and came straight here, I can’t go home like this!” He says looking down at himself, that’s when Mark notices the zipper of Tom’s pants is broken and his belt buckle was missing, it looked like it had been ripped away_

_“God, Tom!” Mark gasps and he places a hand on top of his mouth “He didn’t do anything else to you, did he?” Mark asks quickly and Tom shakes his head, closing his eyes ashamed. Mark pulls Tom again into another hug, smothering him and promising himself he would never let this happen away “I’m sorry I let this happen to you” He says in a broken voice “You don’t deserve this, you hear me? This is not your fault! Y_ _ou don’t need to fuck anyone you don’t want to, alright?” Mark asks, looking at Tom patiently, cupping a hand on the younger boy’s cheek “You don’t owe him anything, Tom!”_

_Tom nods and Mark smiles sadly as he is still holding Tom’s cheeks in his hands. Tom sits up again and smiles back as he beams into Mark’s eyes “I am so happy I have you in my life, Mark” Tom whispers to him “What would I do without you, huh?”_

_Mark shakes his head “I just over-protect you, it’s not something to be proud of if you think about it” Mark then takes a deep breath, he looks into Tom’s eyes and bites his lip nervously. Tom notices it_

_“There’s something in your mind, right?” He asks_

_Mark’s eyes flick between Tom’s features “I really care about you, Tom” He blurs out in a whisper “I really really do” Mark then lets go of Tom and sits back fully into the couch, looking away from his friend, towards the kitchen “I can’t imagine anything bad happening to you and I feel guilty for just letting you leave like that I should’ve avoided this, I could’ve avoid…”_

_“Mark, no” Tom shakes his head, putting his hand over Mark’s lips to get him to stop talking, getting closer to his friend, looking him in the eye. Mark immediately relaxes under Tom’s touch, looking back into Tom’s bright brown eyes “None of this has anything to do with you, you tried to warn me and I just…”_

_“But I didn’t try to warn you for your safety, I tried to warn you because…” Mark starts and then stops, noticing he has started a dialogue he probably shouldn’t have “Because…”_

_Tom does not say anything, he only stares at Mark, who then looks up nervously, his lips are slightly parted as he eyes Tom. They take good looks at each other absorbing every piece of feature the other one has._

_“You know why…” Mark rolls his eyes and Tom just stares at him_

_He drops his hand from Mark’s cheek and places it on Mark’s shoulder, Mark again, doesn’t react at all, he only looks at Tom_

_“Are you going to kiss me?” Mark whispers, he feels a turbo of emotions and he could cry for being so stupid “I basically just told you that I like you, so… Yeah” Mark says, still looking into Tom’s eyes that are red from all the crying before. Tom opens his mouth to say something, but he just stares at Mark, trying to gather his words, his grip on the older boy intensifying and his eyes now flickering between Mark’s lips and eyes._

_He would be lying if he said he didn’t want this_

_“I don’t want you to kiss me, Tom” Mark shakes his head, staring back into his friend’s eyes._

_“Why not?” Tom asks more quietly, he raises up his other hand, placing it on Mark’s cheek again, his thumb making circles on the older one’s skin and then the tip of his indicator goes to Mark’s bottom lip, he sees his own finger tracing its contours, feeling how soft they were, noticing how much he wanted them against his own. He swallows another cry “Haven’t you seen that I really like you too?” Tom asks, and his voice breaks, he drops his hand and looks again into Mark’s eyes. This is the most intense moment of his life._

_“I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to…” Mark says, shaking his head and Tom chuckles brokenly, his chest full of emotions_

_“That is why I am kissing you” He says and moves closer “Right now” He gulps “Is that okay?”_

_Tom looks up at Mark again, waiting for an answer. Mark feels his heart about to explode in his ribcage as he shyly nods at his friend. Tom nods as well and leans in before softly taking Mark’s bottom lip between his. Tom starts kissing his friend lightly, Mark kisses him back, pulling Tom’s blanket around himself as well, bringing Tom even closer, sharing body heat._

_Tom licks Mark’s bottom lip and Mark opens his mouth, letting Tom’s tongue slide in, he moves closer to sit on his older friend’s lap and Mark hums contently onto his lips. Tom wraps his legs around Mark and places both hands on his face, bringing him even closer. Tom pulls away after a while and puts his forehead on Mark’s._

_Mark has his eyes closed, and so does Tom. “I’ve been waiting so long for this” Mark blurs out and Tom smiles “I… I really wanna kiss you again, Tom”_

_“Me too” Tom says and kisses Mark again, but the older man pulls back after a while_

_“You… You want to stay?” Mark asks in a whisper “This may sound innapropriate but I don’t want you going back home with a black eye. If you want to leave I can drive you home, I can’t let you go knowing that rapist is out there…”_

_“I… It’s okay, I can sleep here” Tom smiles_

_“You can sleep in my bedroom and I can sleep here in the couch if you’d like, I…”_

_“Mark” Tom laughs “It’s okay, I… I will feel better knowing you’re sleeping on the bed next to my mattress” Mark quickly shakes his head_

_“You’re sleeping on the bed, I’ll take the floor” Mark tells him “Like, let’s… Let’s get you a shower and some new clothes, some food, maybe… I’ll take care of your purple eye if you need and… And you can stay here and you don’t need to go back home just now, I can have my mom call yours and tell her you can spend the weekend here, if you want to…”_

_Tom nods, placing his forehead against Mark’s "Can I keep kissing you during all of that?” Tom asks and Mark smiles, nodding at him “Sounds good then” Tom smiles, leaning in to kiss him again_

***

“So” Mark starts as he jumps over Tom to catch the fish and hit him with it “What are we doing tonight?”

“Fuck! I was going to get that, Mark!”

“Shut up, Fat Princess!” Mark laughs as he proceeds to slap Tom repeatedly “That was an accurate insult”

Tom gave him a sideways look for Mark’s words over how he had picked the girl in the pink dress to play with

“You think you’re so sexy being Nathan Drake, right?” Tom asks as he fish disappears and he gets to kick Mark on the face, the tip of his tongue peeking out in concentration.

“Of fucking course!” Mark says as the time runs out and he wins the game. He throws the controller on the couch and raises his hand “Suck my fucking dick!” He yells at Tom and smiles

“Okay, just don’t think Fat Princess will help you with that…” Tom said jokingly but with a serious tone

“Fat Princess didn’t even answer my question; it’s already new year’s eve! What are we doing?” Mark asks with a smile still on his face “You have plans or what?”

Tom shakes his head “Not really” He says squinting his eyes, something churns up Mark’s inside over how cute he looks right now, morning hair on his forehead and his clothes still sticking to him “I have no plans at all”

Mark nods “I just have to be home tomorrow at nine tomorrow because that’s when the kids get back, but if you wanna go out, it’s fine by me”

“Actually I was hoping to stay inside but we can go out if you want”

“No, God! Thank God you want to stay I felt too awkward to say it” Mark laughs and Tom smiles with him “I want to do everything we’ve done for the entire week…”

“Okay, if anything we can go to my house… If you don’t mind, because when I stay inside for New Years I want to stay at my own house, if it’s okay?”

Mark shakes his head “No, not at all, are you doing something special for me?”

Tom shrugs “Maybe, let’s see, if you behave”

“I’m just the writer; you’re the actual guinea pig, Fat Princess”

Tom smacks him on the face and leaves the room, shaking his ass a little on his way

“Hey! What was that for?”

***

The car ride is silent, over the years Tom realized Mark always liked to look out the window rather than talk or do anything else; he really just appreciates the view passing through. Tom looks back and Sally is looking out the window patiently as well, not barking or being excited to be riding like she always is. He parks the car in front of his house in which he hasn’t been to in almost an entire week. Mark jumps off and walks to the front door like a causality. Tom turns off the car and walks up to Mark so he could open the door and let his friend in.

Mark makes himself comfortable on the couch and Tom walks in, Sally causally walking in right behind him. Tom puts his bag of dirty clothes on top of the dinner table and as he was taking his jacket off he noticed he had forgotten something. He stopped.

“Mark, can you pick up your leftover food we left it in the car, please?”

“There’s no leftover food, Tom” Mark frowns

“Yes there is, please pick it up” Tom says quickly as he turns around and walks into the kitchen. His mouth drops at the boxes that were still there “Please?!?”

“Yeah, sure” Mark frowns as he gets up and leaves the house. Tom lets out a desperate gasp.

“FUCK!” He hisses to himself as he places two of the three boxes there on top of each other and the doll over them, he shoves the boxes to the living room and towards the guest room “ _I totally forgot about Jim! What the actual fuck?!?”_

He kept asking himself how does you move in with someone and forget about all of it. Well, that’s the job of a lover, somehow. Tom curses himself as he hears the front door opening again and he runs back to the kitchen before Mark can see the last box. He cannot ruin their last day together, his last day as a single guy before Mark needs to get back to his family and Jim comes back to the city.

The door opens and Tom fumbles with the door of the cabinet as he shoves the last box inside with all the sink cogging. Mark walks into the kitchen right as he closes the door.  
“Hm, all food I did find in your car was this Milky Way wrapper and what seems to be a rotten French fry” Mark says as he shows both to Tom before putting them in the trash bin “Are you okay?” He asks as he sees Tom nervously taking deep breaths

“Yeah no I’m fine, I’m just hungry, I thought we had food…”

“Well, I can make you some” Mark says as he opens the fridge, scanning what was inside. Tom sits down and sighs when Mark doesn’t notice anything. Mark makes them the food and they watch The Dark Knight cuddled up together before noticing they still had about 40 minutes before the countdown.

“Come here, I wanna show you something” Tom grabs Mark’s hand as they walk inside. He opens the door to his room and lets Mark in, who instantly gasps surprised

“Oh my God, when did you get this?” Mark smiles as he looks up to the ceiling that’s made out of a window that went down diagonally from the back to the front of the room, letting them see the sky “This wasn’t here the last time”

“Yeah, when the house was done, you remember the ceiling was still plastered with that black thing? They had just put in the structures, the glasses were still coming. I guess I just didn’t remember to show you the result afterwards”

Mark then remembers everything, including the all of the blue prints Tom showed him and the designs of all the furniture he wanted including the shelves that made up a entire wall in the back of the room, the stands for his action figures in the living room and the water bed that in the end didn’t really work out.

Mark laughs at the wonder that’s so Tom-like, Tom smiles as he friend looks up excitedly

“Oh boy! Imagine us watching fireworks from here?!? This is amazing!” Mark says stunned

“That’s why I wanted you to come here” Tom explains

“This will be so much fun!” Mark shrieks excitedly and hugs Tom “Thank you for everything” He says into his friend’s neck

“You’re fucking welcome” Tom says as he caresses Mark’s hair before he pulls back and they stare a little at each other before Mark leans in and kisses him.

They kiss each other quietly for a few solid minutes before Tom starts pulling Mark to the bed, he makes sure his friend takes off his shirt and lays first, so he has time to take off his own shirt. He crawls in by Mark’s side as they lay sideways.

As they get back to kissing, Tom lets his hands wander Mark’s chest, tracing a way to tease his nipple and he feels Mark whimpering into his lips. They keep on kissing until they’re completely hard, which doesn’t really take long. Mark rolls on top of Tom and kisses him a little more forcefully before pulling back and looking to his friend’s face

“Promise me not to move right now, alright?” He asks and Tom frowns

“What?”

“Just stay still for me” Mark says and Tom nods, Mark leans in to kiss him again and moves to his neck. Tom closes his eyes to feel every single thing as Mark licks and kisses his way down Tom’s stomach, his hands gripping on the younger one’s sides.

Tom feels Mark’s hands holding on to him as his kisses send shivers up on him. He looks down to see Mark’s head going further down, carefully teasing his belly button and the hair that made a trail towards his crotch there. Tom opens his mouth to let out a moan as he feels what Mark’s about to do, he takes off his right hand and places it on the base of Tom’s cock, pumping him a little before taking him into his mouth by surprise. Tom holds back a loud moan with a whimper and he puts both hands on Mark’s hair, pressing it.

Meanwhile, Mark’s left hand was gripping harshly on Tom’s hip. Tom noticed it and tried to pry it away as Mark concentrated on working his tongue around his cock.  
Mark hit his hand back, shoving it away. “Mark” Tom says breathlessly “You’ll hurt… Your hand” He voiced but Mark’s grip on his hip only got tighter and his cheeks only hollowed around Tom’s dick, he threw his head back and just closed his eyes to feel Mark’s lips and tongue pleasuring him.

Tom just gave up and let his hands grip on Mark’s hair as he felt everything. Mark was being a bit too clumsily, Tom felt teeth sometimes but he didn’t mind, it was all too hot for him to even care. Tom felt Mark’s mouth leaving him, his eyes still closed as he heard the popping sound. “Tom, look at me” He heard Mark say and he slowly raises his head to look at his friend, in the same position, but with a mint drop on his fingertips.

Tom frowns “Mark?” He asks as he looks at Mark unwrapping the small drop. Mark fixdetely stares at him as he puts the drop on top of tongue. He sucks on it a little and Tom slowly starts to shake his head “You don’t need to, Mark”

Mark took a deep breath

“Shut up, Tom” Mark says in a coarse voice before putting a hand around Tom’s thigh, lowering his head until Tom is only able to see his hair.

After that, Tom can only feel Mark’s tingly tongue’s tip against his sensitive flesh. He gasps at the nice feeling and holds back a moan. Mark puts his head further down and raises Tom’s legs, licking his way from the small of Tom’s back and further down and finally, his glory entry again.

Tom could feel his heart almost bursting out of his chest by all the overwhelming sensations; he has never felt something like this as Mark proceeds to eat him out.

Mark then drops all the fucks he’s got and reaches his right hand up to Tom’s dick, pumping it, while the other brought his body closer to him.

“Shit, Mark” Tom hisses breathlessly before hitching his breathing helplessly “I… Fuck! Mark, Mark”

Mark’s grip on Tom’s thigh got stronger as he heard Tom echo his name under his breath, as if he’s been waiting for his touches for so fucking long, like he’s been dreaming with this for quite some time. It takes him an effort not to touch himself as he feels his dick poking the bed uncomfortably.

“ _Fuck me_ ” Mark could feel Tom’s low words into the comfortable silence that was only broken by the music of his breathing and moaning “I need you so bad, Mark”

Mark looks up and lets go of him, leaning on top of him and kissing his lips demandingly. Tom’s cheeks were hollow, his skin bursting red and his eyes searcing Mark’s as he pulls back, Mark realizes how ahead of him Tom was.

“I could jack myself off listening to your moans and your pleading and your everything all day long did you know that?” Mark asks before he raises his body a little and grabs his own dick, slowly pumping it and closing his eyes as he did so. When he opens them again, Tom gives him a weak smirk.

“You can always tape me” He says looking deep into Mark’s eyes “You still got your cassettes?” He then smirks even more, remembering how bad he and Mark always played with those cassettes.

Mark smiles a bit sadly “A little too late for that, don’t you think?”

Tom’s smirk disappears, he doesn’t say anything and he just watches Mark jerking himself off a while more before he stops and leans over to the nightstand to grab the lube and the condom. He clumsily puts the condom on himself and leans on top of Tom again to put the lube on. Mark stops and looks at Tom before putting himself inside of him.

“I fucking love you, Tom. You’re so beautiful” He blurs out, still amazed by everything. “Thank you for everything” Mark says again, broken voice now.

Tom looks at him blown out of his mind, Tom takes a deep breath and shakes his head “It’s okay” Tom says brushing hair out his eyes “You know how I feel about you, right?”

Mark nods, yeah, sure, he knows Tom’s place.

He always has.

Now he wonders if he’ll have difficulty on trying to.

Tom sits up a little, propping himself on one of his elbows as he takes Mark’s hand and puts it against his asshole, pulling out one his fingers and positioning it inside of himself. Mark just watches as Tom looks deep into his eyes, wanting his friend to look at his face as his mouth opens a little in the pleasure and his brows furrow in the pain.

“Shh, take off your hand” Mark says after Tom moans his name, he leans in and makes Tom lay down on the bed again, soothing him with a kiss. Tom pulls back his hand away from Mark’s fingers and wrist.

Tom starts to get familiar with the pain since his eyes go easy, his lips stop being tight and he even sighs in pleasure. One of his hands slides down to Mark's dick and his thumb runs over the head, giving him a wave of urgency.

“Is it hurting?” Mark asks concerned into his lips

“Don’t ask me that shit” Tom says as he holds back a moan when Mark finds his prostate, but he can’t help to whine and Mark smiles.

“I think it’s good now” Mark says, getting his fingers off of Tom, cleaning them on the sheets. Mark puts lube on his dick again and lies down on top of his friend, kissing him.

Mark puts in and he thrusts for a few minutes until they’re both screaming each other’s names, dripping sweat into each other’s chests. He smiles and keeps thrusting, Tom muscles clenching around his dick. Tom moans loudly and rolls his eyes to the back of his head, feeling a wave of pleasure he hasn’t felt in a really long time “Mark, fuck, Mark!”

After a while he’s thrusting his ass against Mark’s crotch, craving more friction. Mark’s hand is on his dick, jerking Tom off. “Mark, I’m coming” Tom says a little bit loud between moans

“Me too, Tom. Fuck, me too”

They both end up coming at the same time “Shit, cock!” Mark screams, his lips getting open as I moan what I had to, letting all his stuff go into his friend

“Oh God” Tom moans and his muscles clench harder around Mark, and fuck, this is all driving them insane. When Mark pulls back, he lets his limbs crawl next to Tom tiredly.

They stand there, paralyzed.

Shocked.

Out of breath.

How did all of this happen? Mark frowns to himself as he still pants by his side of the bed. How was it so quick? So fast? So out of the blue?

How can so much change in so little time?

He looks to his hands as he raises it in front of his face, he’s done this, he looks at Tom’s hand that is crawling towards his left one, caressing his fingers with his own.

Time stops.

They’ve done it.

After all these years.

And now they’re throwing it all away again.

Mark turns his head to Tom, who is smiling at him.

“Come on, don’t be shy” Tom says, still caressing Mark’s hand “There’s still two minutes before the countdown…”

Mark’s eyes widen, two minutes? They had 35 minutes of fucking amazing sex, and still it seemed like it took 20 seconds.

He looks up to the window that shows him the dark sky full of stars, he needs a minute to get his breathing back to normal, sort out his thoughts. Until Tom squeezes his hand, and he notices it is still there, on Tom’s grip.

Tom smiles and he smiles back, but a little bit more sad, Tom pulls him closer and makes him rest his head on his shoulder, wrapping an arm around his older friend.

“Will you be my midnight kiss, please?” Tom asks into his ear with a little laugh, but Mark still makes out he’s nervous. Mark smiles to calm him.

“Fuck 2017. Today it is 1992 again”

Tom smiles a little “Wow Hoppus, you’re so corny” He giggles and nuzzles his head on Mark’s neck, making him laugh as well

“What about Sally, is she gonna be okay?” Mark asks concerned, looking around for Tom’s dog

“Sally doesn’t get scared with fireworks, she just hides herself inside the tub of the guest room with a blanket, don’t worry” Tom tells him, she’s gonna come over when it’s all done

“Okay” Mark nods and smiles

The fireworks go off and there are a few chants outside of “Happy new year” and “Ayoo”’s. Mark looks up the window and smiles at the first giant pink and yellow firework going off outside. He smiles widely at how beautiful and colorful it is, he looks at Tom to see his reaction. The pink light is shining on his face and it seemed as if his eyes only unglued from Mark’s face for a few seconds so he could notice on what Mark was so interested about, but when his friend looked back he only smiled at him, not once wearing it off.

Tom’s eyes search Mark and they jump around happily, enjoying the moment where Mark stares at him wide eyed, still not believing this is real and his heart starts beating amazingly fast when Tom leans into him. Tom captures Mark’s bottom lip between his, poking the tip on his tongue inside as he kept a smile plastered on his face. Mark closes his eyes a bit too tight, he takes a deep nervous breath as he kisses Tom back, he knows this is the end somehow. Again.

Tom grabs him by both sides of his head as another firework goes off, and another, and they don’t raise up their heads to look. Tom kisses him carefully, as he would kiss the love of his life for the last time, as if he was saying goodbye, telling Mark how much he actually loves him, by just a simple kiss. It’s numbing, it’s so fucking comfortable. Mark melts into it, he tries not to think too much, just to enjoy. Another firework goes off and Tom pulls away a bit reluctantly, looking into Mark’s eyes to make sure everything’s okay. Mark places one of his hands on top of Tom’s as he still grabs his head, he smiles at his friend, making sure that, yes, everything is okay after all. Maybe.

Tom smiles a bit unsure and leaves a kiss on the tip of Mark’s nose, comforting him. Mark giggles right after, looking up to the fireworks again as he leans his head on Tom’s shoulder, not ever wanting to wake up again as Sally climbs on the bed and sleeps by their feet.


	14. January 1st-10th, 2017

Mark works on his hands; he opens and closes them repeatedly with a frown on his face, the lights reflecting on his glasses.

Tom, from the driver’s seat, notices.

“Hey, at what time did they say they’d come?” He tries to distract Mark a little

Mark blinks, still not taking his eyes off his left hand; he fixes the glasses on his face with his right one.

“Hm, Joe messaged me they should be here in about an hour or so…” Mark says, he takes a cigarette out of his pocket and places it between his lips so he could put the rest away, he then places it behind his ear for after the leaves the car

Tom nods

They both reach Mark’s house and Tom puts the car into the driveway, they both stand inside, not daring to get out.

If they do, it is all over.

“Hm, you want me to get in?” Tom asks rubbing his hands on his jeans. Mark looks at him a little surprised, fixing the black rimmed glasses again “I didn’t mean to be awkward, I want to respect whatever you feel like doing now” He says straight forward, looking away.

Mark thinks for a while “I don’t think right now it’s the best time, we might do something stupid…” Mark blurs out “Plus, Sally is waiting for you…”

Tom looks at him, he would not mind being stupid once again, he would not mind being stupid for a long time. At least Mark is honest about it, he knows there is no reason not to be, and they know each other’s weaknesses. Tom nods.

“Okay, hm, I agree” He says scratching the back of his head.

“You should come by later for dinner if you want, the kids would be happy to see you…” Mark shrugs, giving Tom an apologetic smile. Tom tries to smile and nods back, looking at Mark.

“Yeah sure” He says and their eyes click, Tom has tensed shoulders and they share a look. Mark gulps nervously, looking between Tom’s eyes and lips for a second. Tom takes a deep breath and slowly leans in, making sure Mark will not push him back, but he lets him.

Tom puts a hand on the back of Mark’s head and their lips meet halfway through. It is caring and quick. Mark pulls back and smiles a little sadly, Tom melts as he looks into his glasses.

“Bye, Tommy” Mark says and gives him a kiss on the cheek, not a second his eyes unglue from his friend as he grabs his backpack and leaves the car. Tom watches him walk inside the house, not once looking back.

“Bye Marky Boy” Tom whispers to himself as he gathers the courage to drive away.

Mark walks in and closes the door behind himself. He leans into it, sliding to the floor until he is able to rest his chin on his knee. The house swallows him, he sees one of Tom’s dirty shirts thrown on the couch and he smiles to himself. He looks around and everything seems so different, so unusual. No kids, no wife, no Tom…

Mark takes the cigarette from behind his ear and puts it on his lips, he lights it up, not really caring about the smoke inside the house, if anything it`ll just prove his kids he spent the holidays inside the house. He sighs and forces himself to get up and start cleaning up the house before the kids arrive. He organized everything while listening to some music; he takes a shower and waits a little while watching TV.

Paul opens the door of the house, looking at a sleeping Mark on the couch.

“Toni, come here, take a look at this” He says as he drops his bag at the door, his sister following him as they stopped before Mark who was sleeping with his chin pressed up against his chest, a bit slouched.

She chuckled and flicked him on the nose, making him jerk away to the sound of Joe closing the door.

“Kids?” He asks wiping his mouth on the sleeve of his hoodie “You’re home!”

Paul looks around “Yeah, I guess we live here” He says and Joe chuckles as he comes up from behind them

“Oh my God, let’s have lunch, I’m starving!” Mark says as he hugs them all and shoves Joe to the kitchen.

“How was Christmas? Did you and Tom have fun?” Toni asks excitedly as she sits on the kitchen table, Mark turns to her abruptly

“Oh my God! Let’s not talk about Tom for once, okay?!?” He asks a bit too harshly and she looks at him with a frown on her face while Joe and Paul get distracted by getting a glass of water.

Toni looks around confused “Alright…” She laughs awkwardly at the end

They all eat lunch while chatting about the camp; they laugh and talk about their experiences amongst other friends there. “But Toni’s got the most exciting news definitely” Joe says laughing and Toni gives him a look

Toni swallows the food in her mouth and smiles at her dad “I think I have a band?” She says enlarging her smile, “I have a fucking band!”

Mark’s eyes widen and a smile spreads across his face “Really? Oh my God, honey! That’s awesome! Who is in it? You guys have a name? A style?!? Shit! You can practice on the garage, you know that, right?”

“God, please no, don’t do that…” Paul says shaking his head “I’m the one to pay the price if that happens…”

Toni laughs; she places a hand on Mark’s shoulder, calming him down. “Chill, dad” She laughs again “Frank is the barista at Starbucks down the street and he’s a guitar player and we’ve been hanging out and we decided to do this, we’re practicing at his house, he doesn’t live far from here though…”

“Sounds good” Mark says “But is it just the two of you?”

“Actually his sister just moved into the city and she plays drums. We just need a bassist now… I was hoping I could get a flexible job thing so I could raise money and go on tours during the summer”

“You’re already thinking about tours?” Mark asks with wide eyes

“Why not think about tours already?” Toni asks

Mark opens his mouth “Ah, but it shouldn’t be too hard to find a bassist!” He spits it out “You guys will find someone very soon, I feel it”

“Thanks dad” Toni smiles and gets up to hug him

“Your first band!” Mark exhales “Enjoy while it lasts” He says with a sad smile

Toni laughs and shakes her head “I will”

***

Mark stays up overnight as he finishes one of the many scripts he has started over the holidays. He looks over it and prints it before considering job done and going to bed.

He wakes up around two pm the next day, still tired out of his mind. He makes his coffee and takes his shower, he gets into his car and drives to the house that he has been to not much time before.

Matt and Annie are playing on the front lawn with some Legos, the pink pig sitting by Annie’s side, Mark smiles as he gets up and walks closer. Steve looks up and turns around, he oinks and runs up to Mark’s direction. Matt eyes the car parking in front of his house and gets up before giving his daughter a kiss on top of her head, laughing “Steve, calm down!” He says and the pig looks back at him, already licking Mark’s shoes

“I’m sorry, man,” Matt tells his with an apologetic grin “I still don’t have much control of him yet…”

Mark chuckles, shaking his head at his feet “Of course, he’s not a house pet though, you know?” Mark tells him

“I know” Matt smiles “But better here than in someone’s plate”

“You’re not a hero for saving just one pig, you understand that, right?” Mark tells him, trying to shake Steve away

“I’m not, but I’m his hero” Matt says fixing the hat on his head, his tattoos glowing under the sun

Mark smiles and shakes his head “You’re pretty persistent, aren’t you?” He asks and Matt smiles back

“I would say I’m clever with my arguments” He says and smiles sweetly at Mark

“Sure” Mark laughs

They both fall into uncomfortable silence, until Matt decides to speak “Glasses, huh? So that’s what kids find cool today, Mr. Hoppus?” He says as he beholds Mark, who smiles at him.

“Here is what kids find cool today actually” He giggles as he hands Matt the script, who takes it without even thinking, which makes Mark ease a little on his nervousness.

Matt opens it and takes a quick look to his daughter before looking back to the papers; he hums and nods, smiling a little to himself.

“That is not everything, I actually have more ideas at home but that was the first one I finished, if you don’t like that I have some more…” Mark says putting his hands inside his hoodie’s pockets “I printed this one but I can email it with the others to you later…”

Matt frowns at him, with a smirk “What did you do to get this? Was it Mr. Jealous boy?”

Mark scrunches up his nose and scratches the back of his head “Well, I…”

“Oh my God, Mark Hoppus, you bastard!” He says as he hits Mark on the shoulder

“I’m sorry about him, I just…” Mark starts “Well, you…”

“Me what?” Matt smiles

“How are you so sure I slept with him?” He frowns confused

Matt looks incredulous at him “And you haven’t?”

Mark sighs “You like him?” He asks confused

“Well, he’s not my type, but If I were you I would tap the hell out of that…” Matt smirks “Life is too short to…”

“Last long?” Mark interrupts him and laughs, Matt looks at him confused “I… I don’t know where that came from, I’m sorry” He says and Matt chuckles

“Life if too short to not sleep with the people you’re attracted to…” He explains “I’ll give you feedback in a few days, alright?”

Mark nods with a smile

“Sure”

“You wanna stay for tea? I bought acai shakes if you want some too…” Matt says and Mark frowns

“What’s that?”

“Some sort of fruit from South America, you in?” Matt asks casually

Mark laughs, “You will never leave me alone, will you?” He asks and shakes his head

“I’m just being polite, like I would offer my food to anyone, especially my South American treats…”

“I’m in for tea though…” Mark says chuckling and starts walking, Steve oinks from his feet and follows Matt as they walk towards Annie

“Hey sweetie” Matt kneels by her side “Daddy and his friend are going inside to eat, can you come?”

“Sure” She says in a tiny voice and leaves her toys behind, getting up and taking Matt’s hand as they walk inside. Mark smiles at the sight.

“So, how are the kids?” Matt asks as they reach the kitchen, walking in from the outside “Did your kids come back from camp alright?”

Mark nods “Yeah, yeah they did” He says, “Toni now has a band…” He smiles

“Really?” Matt says excitedly as he helps Annie open her box of cookies

“Yeah, they’re gonna start rehearsals today actually, I think it is great, but she also wants a job to raise money for tour apparently and I have no idea how she is gonna juggle school, a band and a part-time job, you know…”

“And you sound worried about that?” Matt chuckles as he grabs Mark a mug and one for himself too, pouring in the hot water “I bet she is gonna do great, Mark”

“I mean, I am a little worried, deep down, you know?” Mark explains, “She’s going to college in September, I mean, hopefully she will. I wanted more time with her, with all of this we will barely have time for each other”

“Mark, first of all, she’s seventeen, she’s gonna go on tour and have her own band cause she’s a big girl” Matt cuts him as he gets up, handing him his cup

Mark takes a deep breath, not reaching out, looking up at Matt confused “But…”

“No!” Matt raises him a finger, placing the mug on the table “I am a father too, I know what it is like, but I’m not gonna let you hold her down like this…” He says and Mark takes a deep breath “Tell her that If she wants she can come work for me…”

“WOAH!” Mark then gets up, raising Matt a finger “She is not gonna work for you, alright?” Mark yells, getting up and walking closer to Matt as he stands beside Annie “I have been working my ass off my entire life so they won’t end up like me! So they can go to college! I am not gonna let her drop out of school just so she’ll wor…”

“Mark!” Matt then interrupts him “I mean to work for me as a nanny?”

It downs to Mark, he just said stupid shit “Oh” He says embarrassed “I didn’t think about that”

“I’m sorry for misleading you like this” Matt laughs

“But… What happened to Ryan? Your nanny…?” Mark asks

“He got transferred to Washington” Matt laughs “I am nanny-less for the moment… It’s flexible, I’ll pay her good, and she can even invite the band to come here rehearse if needed…”

Mark smiles “Really?”

“Yeah!” Matt nods

“God, Matt!” Mark smiles like a maniac and hugs him “Thank you so much! She’s gonna be so happy!”

“You’re welcome…” Matt says as Mark lets go of him “You want a piece of vegan chocolate cake?”

Mark laughs, then he nods and smiles “Sure”

“I want one too daddy!” Annie shrieks and Matt smiles

“Oh why, yes” Matt answers in a British accent and Mark laughs again “And chocolate”

***

Tom is laying on his bed, sleeping peacefully with the covers on top of him into the cold of the beginning of the year in California; Sally is sleeping under his arm patiently, dreaming quietly. Underneath he was wearing nothing other than pajama pants and an old shirt, he was feeling weirdly domestic ever since Mark left his house three days ago, he still hasn’t met up with him yet ever since, he makes a mental note to pass by his house before Joe goes back to college.

He wakes up to a distant sound from his little nest he has built up on the last few days. There are scrambled tissues across the room and he feels weirdly empty, plates of food and cups of warm water on his nightstand.

Tom rubs his eyes with the back of his hand and he notices the buzz again, he stops and thinks for a while. It is the doorbell.

He frowns and gets up, dragging himself to the front door. He opens it still rubbing his eyes, the sun is mildly strong outside, stinging his vision a little, and that is when he sees the boy with the tattoo on his neck and the piercing on his nose in front of him, looking mad with a suitcase behind him.

“Jim?” Tom asks a bit tiredly, squinting his eyes

“WHAT THE HECK DID YOU DO TO MY STUFF?!?” Jim boldly shouts at him “HAVE YOU GONE INSANE?!?”

Tom frowns “What?” He asks, “Please come inside I’m like 87% asleep”

Tom opens the door for him and Jim stomps inside, dragging the case behind him. Tom closes the door and sighs

“Fuck, this is so much better” He says shaking his head, trying to get more awaken “I’m so sorry, what were you saying?”

Jim puffs in anger, he’s red with fever “Jack told me you came by my apartment and left with a shit ton of my stuff, I wanna know where the fuck is ALL MY STUFF!?!?!”

Tom thinks for a second “I took nothing from your apartment” Tom says innocently

“Fuck Tom! I have the tape of you, Matt and David leaving the building, I swear that… Fuck! I can’t believe I trusted you with this! I should have never given you my keys, I… I…” Jim says and his anger turns into tears, Tom notices with pity in his eyes

“Jim, no, I…” Tom tries to get closer but Jim takes a step back

“Don’t you touch me!” Jim hisses, pointing a finger at him, Sally sniffing on his pants.

Tom sighs sadly “I… I took your stuff” Tom gives up “I wanted to make you a surprise but I guess that you’re just too overwhelmed for that now…”

Jim frowns “What surprise?”

Tom steps in closer, Jim lets him this time, and Tom puts both hands on his shoulders, calming the younger boy, who melts like butter into his touch.

“I got your stuff because I wanted to surprise you by asking you to move in with me” Tom says and Jim’s eyes widen “But I guess I did it the wrong way”

“Wait… You… You really gave thought to what I said to you in the airport?” Jim asks confused, but a smile forming on his lips. Tom shrugs.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I? I really like you, Jim” He says deepening the grip on the shorter one’s shoulder.

A smirk plays on Jim’s lips “Really?”

“Yeah! I mean, only if you want…”

“Well” Jim chuckles “You didn’t really give me much of a choice”

Tom smiles “So that’s a yes?”

Jim nods “Yeah, I think so” He says and Tom smiles before lightly kissing him. He takes Jim’s hand and pulls him to the guest bedroom, opening the door to show his stuff.

“Everything’s here, alright? You don’t need to worry…” He says playing with Jim’s hair, Jim nods

“Hm, can we sleep a little? I’m kind of tired from being so angry…” Jim says with a laughing tone and Tom wraps him in a arm, pulling him towards his room. Jim gasps when he sees the automatic drapes on Tom’s ceiling window pulled closed, the sheets all around and all the food and the trash

“Oh” Tom sees when he remembers the mess in his life for the past few days “Yeah…”

“How long haven’t you been outside?” Jim giggles as he walks up to get the controller that opens the drapes, Tom flinches at the sun from his place. Jim pulls the covers away from Tom’s bed and folds it before patting down the mattress to look a little less messy “We should really go to the beach later…”

“Hey, you don’t need to do that…” Tom says placing both hands on his shoulders as he stands behind Jim “I’ll clean this up” He says after Jim leans down to start picking up the cum-covered Kleenexes from the floor, Tom picks them all himself and goes to the bathroom to throw them out.

When he gets back, Jim is already taking off his clothes, standing in only his boxers. Tom watches everything paralyzed from the doorframe, Jim giggles when he sees Tom eyeing him before he climbs into the bed.

“Are you just gonna stand there?” Jim asks as he pulls the cover over him “It’s kind of cold, Tom”

Jim speaks his name with a pout on his lips and Tom cannot help but smile, he walks over to Jim and hugs him on the bed, nuzzling his face into his neck, planting a kiss on top of his scorpion tattoo.

“I really missed you” Tom smiles into his skin.

***

Mark had just dropped Joe at the bus station so he could go back to college, now he was dealing with it by reeking the leaves in his backyard, he had his hoodie perfectly tied around him, since it was a bit chili outside.

His phone started ringing and he might have or might have not jumped like a kid just because it was Matt. He waited a few seconds to answer it and when he did, he tried to sound as chill as possible

“Hello” He says into the receiver, trying to sound as calm as possible

“Hi, Mark, how are you?” Matt says casually, as if he was paying attention to something else “Honey, no, these are daddy’s pens, go play with yours…”

Mark shrugs, knowing he’s only talking to his daughter

“I’m good, just… Just you know…” Mark tries to cover his anxiousness but he’s not such a great liar.

“Well, hm, I have good news! I showed your script to the people at the hm, _other side of the business,_ if you will, and they loved it! They told me to ask you for a few more stories so they can see how you work cause they might have a spot available…”

“Oh my God! Really?!?” Mark asks excitedly “It worked?!?”

“I am pretty sure it worked, but you know, they gotta be sure about it”

“My stories are good? They really did like them?!?”

“Mark, this story of yours is gonna sell itself, pretty awesome!”

“Fuck!” Mark says as he puts his hand up on his forehead “Shit!”

Matt laughs at Mark’s desperation

“Okay, so I’ll give you some more time to finish them and yo…”

“No! Hm, I mean, I have a couple more ready here, I can show them anytime you need…” Mark gulps, this is a big step.

“Wow” Matt smiles at the other end “So you don’t mind if I set up a meeting for wednesday?”

“Oh” Mark nods to himself, getting the gist “Yeah, sure, I can do it by wednesday”

“Anyway” Matt sighs with a smile “See you then bud, I’ll send you a text with the time I’ll pick you up” He says and hangs up. Mark brings down his phone and jumps excitedly again.

***

Toni rides the skate casually towards Frank and Megan’s house; it should be raining anytime soon so she hopes to get there quick and for Frank to give her a ride back home. She hums a melody into her head as she pulls on the strap of her guitar case.

She arrives there before the rain starts and walks casually into the garage with her old skate in her hand

Toni shakes her hair free from the ponytail as she closes the door to the garage. Frank picks up his guitar and plucks a few strings.

“Are you okay, kid?” He asks frowning, running a hand through his black hair.

“Yeah sure, I was just thinking stuff on the way here…” She shrugs

“Like?” Frank urges

“You like some drama, huh?” Toni ruffles his hair as she sits by his side, he laughs “Nothing it’s just that my dad has this, hm, best friend who always hangs around our house and he hasn’t showed up since Christmas, I’m starting to get worried… I think they might be fighting which would be really weird because they never fight, at least not to the point to not even talk to each other…”

Frank nods “Maybe you should try to talk to him yourself, see what’s up…” Megan says as she places herself behind her drum kit “What’s the worst that could happen?” She asks as she puts her long orange hair into a ponytail, her brown eyes sparkling at Toni and Frank as she got ready to play.

Toni ponders, “Yeah, it would be a good idea if he at least lived nearby, he works kind of close but I still can’t skate there, it’s too far away”

“I could take you after rehearsal sometime... If it’s okay for you…” Frank says and Toni nods

“Yeah, that would be awesome, you can do that?”

Frank gives her a big smile “Of course”

“Okay you sissies, let’s play, shall we?” Megan says as she throws her gum at her brother

“Hey!” Frank protests “Watch my hair, you bitch”


	15. January 11th, 2017

Frank wakes up and steps out of bed, he runs a hand through his hair and sighs before looking out the window. The neighbor’s dog is running around in circles chasing a stick that a kid is throwing at him, uselessly. He stands and takes a second to look around his room; he scratches the back of his head again and heads towards the walk-in bathroom. He closes the door behind himself and opens the tap of the tub, waiting for it to fill in so he could take a nice, cleansing bath; he takes off the bubble bath and pour it over, so he does not have to look at himself through the clear water.

He takes the bath and a million thoughts run through his head until he's done, Frank steps out, he dries and gets himself half dressed afterwards. A knock comes on the door; he gets startled “Who is it?” He asks

“It’s Megan” His sister yells from the other side, Frank sighs before walking out the bathroom and opening his door

“What’s up?” He asks, placing an arm over his binder protectively 

“Frank, don’t do that, okay?” She says walking in, putting both hands on his arm and bringing it down “There’s no reason to be ashamed, not even to me. You’re having your surgery soon enough, alright?” Frank nods, he lets his sister touch him and she smiles up at him, only being slightly shorter than he is. "When is it by the way? You have any prediction?" She asks, throwing herself in his bed

"When insurance approves it, you know?" Frank shrugs as he walks over to his closet and pulls out a shirt

"Look at my baby brother all grown up talking about insurance aw" Megan tells him in a baby voice and he looks at her with deadly eyes

"I am older than you" He laughs and throws a shirt at her "Trav said that he would pay for it but I don't want him to, he already pays my insurance, my home school, my therapy and all the years we lived here together without me working... Plus, he wasted a lot of money already with his own medical shit"

"I know what you mean" Megan nods "You shouldn't wait too long though, maybe you should take his offer"

"Yeah, maybe, but I want to avoid it. Patricia said that when I complete a year on T we'll talk about it" Frank sighs as he puts on a black Misfits shirt, he moves over and sits by his sister's side on the bed. He places a hand on her dyed red hair and smiles at her

"That is coming around soon, isn't it?"

"In a couple of months" Frank nods 

“Trav said he needs you to pick up some stuff at the grocery store after you go out with Toni, is that okay?” She asks, looking up at him

“Sure. I just need a list of what he wants”

“Okay” Megan answers “Sooo…" She taps her hands on her knees "I was even meaning to ask, why did you offer yourself to do that for Toni?”

"Doing what?"

"You know, driving her downtown... You seemed so eager with the offer"

“Because she’s nice and I think she would do the same for me…” Frank frowns “She’s cool, I like her”

“Yeah, but we’ve known her for a week…” Megan says “How are you so sure of that?”

“You have known her for a week…” Frank points out "You must remember I've known her longer than you do"

“Of course” She gets up “Trav is gonna take me to another job interview today, pretty sure I’m gonna nail this one” She smiles and starts to walk out

“You will” Frank says, and she winks before walking out “Hey” He says before she leaves

“What?” She asks with the door open, looking back at her brother

“I am so glad you’re back from school, and to live with Trav and I permanently” He smiles and she smiles back

“I am glad you’re happy about that…” She says before walking out the door

***

“Tom! Did you see my Batman mug?!?” Jim yells from the kitchen and Tom walks in with his dark blue robes on, Sally following him, whining for food already. A mug with a steaming hot chocolate on his hands. Jim smiles at Tom being so domestic “You’re a cute little thief, did you know that?” Jim says as he picks up another mug from the cabinet, a plain blue one this time, probably Tom’s.

“Is that an insult or…?” Tom asks tiredly as he sits on the wooden table, rubbing his face with his hand, his stubble starting to grow.

Jim shrugs as he pours himself a little of coffee, sitting on Tom’s side “Hardly, probably” He laughs when he notices Tom isn’t drinking his usual morning coffee, and that he’s unusually late, at this hour he’s already leaving for work “I’ll just guess you’re not even trying to wake up at all, aren’t you?” He asks playfully and Tom shakes his head with a tired smile on his lips

“Not even a little” He says and places his elbow on the table, he supports his head on his hand and looks at Jim

“What?” The younger boy asks when he notices Tom is staring, bringing his mug down after a quick sip

“I can’t believe you’re here!” Tom says musingly “And not just getting ready to leave…”

Jim blushes and looks into his mug “I can’t believe you don’t snore as much as I thought you did” He says playfully

“What?” Tom laughs “I don’t snore!”

Jim laughs with him “You do, just a little bit”

“Well, hm, does it bother you?” He asks

Jim shrugs “Not yet, I don’t think so” He says playing with Tom’s hair “But I know that I love this, I love living with you, Tom”

Tom smiles “I love you”

Jim blushes again and playfully rolls his eyes “Well, I guess I love you too, then”

Tom smiles and leans in to give him a kiss, a very tender one; he wants to thank Jim for this, for freeing his mind, to give him love. Jim scoots closer and deepens the kiss, making it rougher, he tastes like coffee and smells like the beach. As soon as Tom is moving his hand to place it on the back of his head, Jim’s hand is moving towards his bulge.

Tom moans with surprise, he pulls back and gets up, pulling Jim up. He scatters the mugs to the counter while Jim looks at him confused, but then Tom’s hands are on his hips and he picks Jim up and he notices what’s going on, and when he does, he giggles surprised before Tom kisses him again

“Show me what you got, big guy” Jim says with a smirk while untying Tom’s robe off of him, making him stand only on his boxers, right there in the middle of the kitchen.

Sally cries for food again but they both ignore it

***

Mark is sitting at the kicthen in that early morning, he sips a bit of his coffee and turns back to typing onto his computer, fixing the glasses on his face everytime he feels them sliding down his nose. He looks up momentarily when Paul walks into the room, Mark smiles at him "Good morning, kid" He says and Paul walks over to the coffee machine

"Good morning, dad" Paul moves to sit across the table from Mark. "Dad, can I ask you something?" He asks a bit shy, running a hand through his dark blonde hair. 

Mark looks up, he frowns and takes the glasses off his face, placing them on the table "Sure son, what's up?"

“How... How’s job hunt going?” He asks a bit concerned and Mark sighs "I mean, you told me you lost your job last month but you didn't say anything after that, so... I'm just worried"

“I’m not job hunting” Mark shakes his head, picking up his coffee mug again and taking it to his lips “I’m trying to get back what I know is mine. It was all just a misundersanding, I mean, I should be able to get my job back...”

Paul’s eyes widen “So you’re back into porn?” He laughs

“Listen to me” He says turning to his son “This is a transition phase for me, don’t tell Toni about this and don’t meddle into my stories, alright?”

"Why can't I tell Toni?" Paul frowns 

"Because she will tell Tom and he'll want to borrow me money and god knows I don't want that..." Mark rolls his eyes "Audrey will try to do the same, that's why I'm not talking to her either..."

Paul looks at him confused “I wasn’t meddling, are you doing up to some illegal shit or something?”

Mark swallows “I am not” He says more firmly

“Okaaaayy…” Paul gets up “I’m going to school now, where is Toni?”

“She already left" Mark sighs “I’m sorry, I just can’t say it right now, when the time comes you’ll know, okay?”

Paul nods “You’re one weird guy, dad” He breathes out

***

Toni and Frank are sitting in Frank’s car, it’s a bit old but good enough to get a free ride around. Toni stared out the window until Frank hit her in the arm.

“Ouch, that hurt!” Toni complains as she rubs the spot “What do you want from me?”

Frank laughs “Which building? You’ve been dead there the whole time…”

“Ah, we’re downtown already?” She asks looking out and he nods “It’s on this street, shouldn’t be far, two blocks max” Frank nods and when they get there, she tells him to stop and he parks the car

“You should probably take your guitar with you” Frank says “I don’t know much about this part of town and the car is pretty old so it should be easy for someone to bust in…” He explains and she nods as she pulls out her case. Frank follows her inside the building as she smoothly lets both of them pass through clearance, no checking in “How did you do that?” Frank asks excited, “I’ve never seen anyone do that…” He says flipping back on his black hair.

She holds up a key card on the air, smirking at him as they walk into the elevator “I stole this card from Tom years ago…” She says, “They never canceled it…”

“That’s… That’s pretty punk”

“I agree” Toni chuckles as they reach the floor and walk down the corridor until they see the end, which has a huge portrait of a UFO on the wall, a door by its side that had a Strange Times sign on it

Toni knocks on the door and waits a little until someone opens the door for her and Frank. Matt opens the door and frowns confused “Toni?” He asks

“Hey Matt!” Toni says giving him a hug

“What are you doing here?” Matt asks with a smile, “You’re here for Tom?”

“Yeah, but don’t tell him I’m here, I’m going to surprise him…” She says and Matt nods as he lets them inside. Toni’s eyes go just as wide as her smile when she sees the familiar guy grabbing himself a cup of coffee “Jared?!?”

The tall dark skinned dude turns around and sees her, giving her a smile himself “Toni!” He smiles excitedly

“Oh my God!” She says as she walks up to him to give him a hug “How are you?”

Jared nods “Good, I’m good. What about you?”

“Amazing” 

“Fair enough”

“Oh, Matt, Jared, this is my friend, Frank. Frank this is Matt; he works here and is a huge friend of Tom’s, and this is Jared, he’s a movie student, we went camping together with Tom last year…”

“Nice to meet you all” Frank says with an awkward shake of his hand, Toni smiles at him reassuringly

“So… Is he in his office?” Toni asks at Matt and he nods

“Yeah, he’s in there, you want coffee? David made it fresh this morning…” Matt smiles, grabbing two mugs

“Actually yeah!” She says turning to Frank “You gotta taste this, David makes the best coffee ever, I swear!” Toni takes the mug from Matt and hands it to Frank, she takes another one and takes a quick sip on it “I’m gonna go inside, knock yourself out on those magazines just be aware Tom has probably come in all of them…”

Frank frowns and looks at the pile of Alien magazines by his side, he decides not to dare to touch them. Jared laughs, “Hey, hm, before you go inside, you think we can go out to chat someday?” He says as he stops Toni as she goes inside

“Sure” Toni says, “Yeah, we really need to catch up. Actually, hm, I’ve been sort of busy lately with finishing school and a new job probably and the band…”

“You have a band now?” Jared asks surprised

“You have a job?” Matt asks laughing

“Yeah, I’m a nanny now!” Toni laughs “After here I’m gonna go meet the kid actually… and yeah, I do have a band now” She says pointing at Frank “It’s the two of us and Frank’s sister actually” She explains “You can come watch us rehearse if you feel like it…”

Jared nods “Sure, of course. I’ll text you”

“Yeah, please do that” Toni nods as she walks inside, towards Tom’s office.

Toni casually walks inside, she notices she still has her guitar with her but she shrugs, she reaches Tom’s office and knocks on the door. It does not take long until the lanky figure shows up on her front door. He looks out a bit scared “Toni?!?” Tom asks, “What are you doing here? Are you alone?”

“Actually I came with a friend but he’s waiting me outside…” She explains with a smile, she missed this dork. “I came to see you,” She explains walking further inside

Toni puts the guitar on a corner and Tom watches her patiently, a bit too nervous. “You’re probably wondering why I haven’t been with you guys in a while, huh?”

“We’ve been back for almost two weeks and no you so far…” She laughs, “I usually see you every couple of hours in a day…” She jokes and he smiles a little.

“I’ve been sort of busy lately, it’s nothing” Tom tries to explain, “I should be coming over sometime…”

Toni nods “Dad is all lampy and groaning all the time and all he’s done since Christmas is to fucking write on that notebook of his…”

Tom’s expressions soften “Really?”

“Yeah, it seems like he’s a nerd who doesn’t really have much to do, besides porn all day err’day, you know?”

Tom frowns, he smiles a bit too sadly “How is he?”

Toni shrugs “Besides turning into a vegetable, he’s okay…” She says “You?”

“I…” He starts but then stops on his tracks, he takes a breath and Toni notices his nervousness “I need to tell you something”

Toni’s eyes widen “Well, what is it?”

“We’ve been pretty honest with each other over the last year and I feel like I should tell you this already because I’m just too scared to break it out to your dad. You have to promise me you won’t tell him a word about this”

Toni frowns, but she nods “Yeah, My mouth is a grave”

“Great, hm, okay, sit down” He says and motions for her to sit in one of the chairs by his table, he sits to her side, instead of in front of her like he usually did to other people. He fiddles with his hands a little before speaking “Hm, You know the deal, you’re a big girl” He says patting her hair “You know I am forty and single and fuck, I have a fucking great body and a cute face. And as long as stuff has happened in the past and you know how I feel about your dad but, I, I’m dating someone, and I’ve been with them for quite a while”

Toni’s eyes widen “For how long?”

Tom fakes a smile “For about a year…?”

Toni’s jaw drops “You’ve been dating this person for a whole year and you never told dad?!?”

Tom takes a deep breath “We’re actually living together now; I just…”

“You’re living with this person?” Toni asks annoyed. Tom looks down and Toni shakes her head “He’s going to flip when he knows, and not because of you dating someone else, it’s going to be because you never told him… That is why you’re avoiding us?!?”

“Actually I can’t see your dad right now, I just…”

“You just what? Can’t tell him the truth?!” Toni says getting up and Tom looks up to her from his place, he feels a wave of guilt tripping through his veins. He has never thought of Mark as if he would still like him back, which he admitted to through the holiday they spent together, all alone and just with each other.

But he never thought Mark would even want something from him.

Toni’s eyes go soft “I… I have a band” She blurs out “Now…” Tom frowns at the random statement but his eyes turn into soft ones right after “I need to tell you stuff too, you know…”

“Toni? Are you serious?!?” He gets up and puts both hands on her shoulders “That’s awesome! Tell me about it!”

“Well, hm, if you ever came by you would’ve known at least a couple of weeks ago…” She tells him and he gets a pained expression, but she remains serious “Everyone in that house fucking loves you, Tom” She tells him

“I…” Tom closes his eyes and takes a deep breath “We…” He starts and turns his face away from hers “We slept together while you guys were at camp”

Toni stops; she thinks for a while with a confused expression on her face, the words repeat on her head over and over and over “What?”

“And not just once whi…” Tom starts but he starts once he notices Toni is rushing away from him, he grabs her guitar and puts it around her back as she fumbles with the door to get it open before running out to the hallway “Fuck!” Tom hisses when he notices what he has done

“Come on, Frank, we’re leaving” She says approaching the waiting room, her friend looks up confused from his phone, flicking his hair back with the snap of his head

“Okay...” Frank says getting up and putting his phone onto his pocket “Are you okay?” He asks as she grabs his arm, pulling him out

“Toni!” They hear Tom calling her; she tightens the grip around Frank’s arm

“It’s not me who you have to talk to” Toni turns around, looking at Tom’s eyes, Tom stands paralyzed in front of her and sighs before she leaves, still tugging on Frank’s shirt

Tom sighs and turns around, seeing Matt and David by the coffee machine 

"What was that?" Matt asks and Tom sighs. 

***

Mark parks the car in front of the lawn and gets out. Toni steps out carefully as she eyes the house from the grass to the top of the roof

“Are you sure about this?” She asks her dad carefully, still looking at the house

Mark nods “Yeah, I am. Wouldn’t bring you here if I weren’t”

Toni sighs as they both walk up to the front door and Mark rings on the doorbell. It doesn’t take long until Matt opens the door “Hey!” He says excitedly “So, you’re Toni, right?” He asks and the girl nods. Matt extends his hand and Toni shakes it “Come in, I’ll show you the house” He says and winks at her.

Toni walks inside the house and looks around the spacious living room, she notices the dollhouse in the corner and Legos all scattered around. She smiles to herself; it is like a flashback to her own childhood “Oh, I…” She starts then she notices the oink by her feet and she looks down, seeing Steve licking her shoes

“Why do I feel like he has a kink on licking shoes?” Mark asks concerned and Matt laughs

“I’m sorry” Matt rolls his eyes, but Toni is already kneeling down and patting down his head

“Hey, aren’t you just a cute lil pig, you are!” She says in a puppy voice, “You’re a cute lil puppy pig!” She says again and Steve oinks up at her and rubs himself against her leg “He’s so cool!” Toni tells Matt as she gets up “So unusual though” She laughs

“Yeah, Matt is this pig’s hero” Mark laughs and looks over to Matt to see his reaction “But just this one pig…”

Matt shakes his head, a smile on his lips “His name’s Steve” He says “I’m sorry for all this mess, you don’t need to clean anything, Annie will do it herself if you ask her” Matt explains as they walk further inside. Toni nods and keeps looking around, there is both dark and colored paintings up the walls, and the furniture seems unique, black couch and light colored wood for a contrast. At the end of the living room there is a glass wall that you can look into what seems to be an office. It seems to be furniture and designed by an architect, and owned by someone who could pay one. She remembers of Tom’s place, but with more kid stuff and less space shit.

“It’s okay” Toni says as she keeps looking around.

Matt smiles and keeps walking around “Over there in the end behind that panel is my office” He explains, “Annie is only allowed there when I’m there. There’s a bathroom over there, and here’s the kitchen,” He says as they walk into the kitchen. Toni looks back and sees her dad making himself comfortable on the couch, not following them. “There’s an exit to the backyard with a pool and swings and more toys, you can take her outback whenever she likes but she can’t go during or after rain, alright? She can be stubborn about that”

“Roger that” Toni smiles and Matt continues

“The fridge is full. She can have candy after both dinner and lunch, but she can dinner whenever she wants after six, and lunch whenever she wants after midday. Sometimes I get stuck at work so she doesn’t need to eat with me if she’s hungry, but she will usually wait for me anyway” Matt explains “I’m vegan, but there’s chicken and fish in the freezer, she’s not quite used to all the veggie food yet, she doesn’t like the taste very much, so you can cook her some if she feels like it…”

“Sure” Toni smiles “I was sure you would just throw her at me and leave” She laughs, Matt looks at her with the fridge open, a wondering eye at her “You’re a very attentive dad”

Matt smiles “Thank you” He says and looks down “It’s what she deserves”

“Daddy?” They both hear a tiny voice from their backs and they turn around to see Annie in her Cinderella gown, holding on to a teddy bear. Matt smiles when he sees her rubbing her eye with the back of her hand

“Hey honey” Matt says kneeling by her side “How are you?”

She pouts “I want waffles”

Toni smiles “I can make you waffles” She says walking closer, Annie looks at Matt with a questioning look

“That’s Toni, sweetheart” Matt says “She’s gonne be your new nanny”

Toni smiles reassuringly

“Why?” Annie asks looking at her dad

“You know Ryan moved away, honey” Matt laughs as he gets up, pulling her up with him. He walks up to the table and pulls out a chair, sitting her down on it “Daddy needs to go to work now, alright? You don’t have school today so Toni is gonna stay with you, okay?”

Annie nods and Matt gives her a kiss on the forehead before leaving. Toni places her bag on the corner of the kitchen by the door and says goodbye to Mark, who leaves with Matt for work. Annie eyes her from head to toe.

“You know how to make waffles, right?” She asks a bit skeptical

“Of course I do” Toni laughs as she pulls out the waffle machine towards her on the kitchen counter “I make the best waffles”

Annie smiles “I’m super hungry”

“And I’m super duper hungry!” Toni says faking a manic laughter while rubbing her belly and Annie laughs


	16. January 17th, 2017

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to post this new chapter, I hope you guys enjoy it <3

Mark gets around to a few errands during the day, like buying a new keyboard to Paul’s computer and buying more paper, flirt a little with some toys at a comic store (TOYS, _not_ boys), nothing too exciting really.

His phone starts ringing as he is walking down the Staples store, mouting on his cart and sliding down the aisle; he jumps off making a stop and looks at the screen and smiles when he sees the familiar name

“Hey, Matt!” Mark answers excitedly

“Hey dude, how are you?”

“Good!” Mark laughs “You’ve got any news?”

“Actually yeah! You got the job!”

Mark stops and looks around, confused still “What?” He says and then starts laughing, putting a hand on his chest “I got the job?!?”

“Yes!” Matt laughs at Mark's experation “You totally nailed it! You just gotta keep sending your stories like you did before, there’s just one thing though”

“What?”

“I’m not your boss anymore” Matt sighs “Unfortunately”

“Oh, but in theory we still work together, right?” Mark frowns a bit worried, though he would never admit that

“Of course” Matt smiles “Hey, since I’m not your boss anymore or anything, do you wanna go grab some drinks this weekend and you know, celebrate it? On me…”

“You don’t need to do that, really. We can go out to drink but you don’t need to pay anything…” Mark laughs nervously, he doesn't want to make this awkward. At least not again. “Is it going to be another business date?”

“If you want it to be…” Matt laughs “I gotta go now, so text me, okay?”

“Sure, I’ll talk to you soon”

“Bye” Matt says as he hangs up.

Mark looks at the phone and smiles; he shakes his head and puts it back on his pocket, thinking about it even though he would never be able to tell it for anyone. When he is coming back home, he takes the bus and at some point notices, he is in a familiar neighborhood, one across town, then he notices he took the wrong bus. He watches out a little and calculates the time to jump out. He then notices no bus nearby will take him home so he gives up and decides to walk a few blocks down, where he knows that Tom’s house should be, until he does find it. He remembers the tension between them a few days before but he just needed to get home and he would not with almost no money and no buses.

Mark walks up to the door and knocks, he waits a little until he notices someone is coming to open the door as he hears footsteps, he takes a deep breath and sees a guy shorter than him opening the door, brown messy beach hair and a tattoo on his neck, plus the septum piercing and green eyes.

Mark frowns, and then suddenly Sally jumps on him “Hey big girl!” Mark smiles as he plays with her ears “How are you, cutie pie?” He asks and makes a face for her. She jumps back down and the boy is still staring up at him confused

“Hi! Hm…” He starts and Mark just keeps frowning

“You’re not Tom” Mark points out, still petting Sally

“Ah, yeah” The guy says, quickly looking inside “He’s inside taking a shower, you wanna talk to him?” He asks but still does not let Mark in, who, by the way, is still frowning

“Yeah, I was hoping I could come in, actually” He explains, “If you let me…”

Jim gives way for him and he walks in, he scratches the back of his head and closes the door as Mark throws himself on the couch. Mark keeps his eyes on him.

“You have no idea of who I am, do you?” Mark asks, picking up the control of the TV, Jim notices the causality and how Sally hangs with Mark, to which she seemed to be more comfortable with than he ever would

Jim shakes his head, giving in

“I’m Mark” He shrugs “You know, Tom’s best friend”

“Ah! Oh my!” Jim gasps, “I’m sorry! I should have totally recognized you, wow! You changed!”

"Pfft" Mark chuckles "I just got older honestly" He says as he picks up the remote "You're Jim, right?" He asks and the boy nods "He told me you two were at Europe at the same time last year… I almost went too, but you know, work…” Mark shrugs “Come here, kid, sit on my side”

Mark knows Jim isn't here about anything, he's a grown man, he can figure what Tom and Jim do at their free time. Jim can only smile at how well Mark is acting towards him, Mark notices it when he moves to sit on the armchair.

“Tom talks a lot about you, I am actually surprised you’re accepting this all so well, you know? You guys seem so close…” Jim says as he opens up the mini fridge by the side of his chair, he grabs him and Mark a beer each and hands it to the older man, who accepts it with no questions. Mark frowns, but lets it go, he has always accepted Tom's companions, this shouldn't be any different. Jim giggles after he takes a sip “He always talks about your clumsily kitchen skills, the stories of you two when you were younger… He just talks lots of nothings about you a lot…”

Mark grins, he then looks up to the TV again “Hey! I didn’t notice Tom had gotten new action figures!” He exclaims getting up “This Heisenberg looks sick!” Mark smiles as he points at it, getting a closer look.

“That’s mine, actually” Jim says also getting up, swaying his beer around, following Mark “I got it at Comic Con last year…”

"Gosh, kid, tell Tom to have boundaries" Mark chuckles as he takes another sip of his own “This one’s new too” He says pointing to a Luke Skywalker with a light saber on his hand, white hand-me-downs

“Mine too” Jim says frowning “All the new one’s are mine” 

“Wait, why are all these yours? Stealing is wrong, does Tom know that? Dear Lord!” He says rolling his eyes playfully

“Hm, Mark. I... I live here”

Mark stops, he breathes in deeply and brings the beer bottle up to his lips, he feels his heart hammering in his throat “Since when?” He tries to play it cool. Tom has moved in with other guys before, this shouldn't be any different...

It shouldn't! It's not like they had something anyway...

“Hm, I don’t know? Since after New Years…” Jim shrugs, barely knowing how to answer to that

“Are… Are you guys together…?” Mark asks carefully

Jim scratches the back of his head, taking a deep breath “Oh boy” He says

“What?” Mark asks worriedly

“You shouldn’t have found out like this…” He hears a soft low voice behind him and he turns around, seeing Tom in his jeans, without a shirt, a towel on his hand and his messy hair in his head. Mark has to control himself over how stupidly cute he looks right now, the smell of honey glycerin filling up his nostrils, the smell he’s been drawn to his entire life, the smell that when he was 21 gave him butterflies, and now feels like bombs into his stomach.

He eyes Tom a little, running his eyes on his chest; Jim can’t see it as he stands behind him. Tom gulps when his eyes meet Mark’s

“I am so sorry, Mark”

Mark tries to chuckle but it comes out broken. Tom notices something is not okay, and it’s his own fault

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!” Mark lets out, not moving from his place, but letting Tom step closer. 

Tom takes a deep breath as he tries to reach out for Mark, but as soon as he opens his mouth to say anything, Mark turns around and looks at Jim “You’re dating a dirty fucking liar” He says empty and Tom looks at Jim with something breaking inside of him 

Jim frowns as Mark storms out of the house, not once looking back.

“Mark!” Tom tries to call him but it’s useless. He sighs and looks over to Jim "What did he tell you?"

"Nothing" Jim shakes his head, a little taken aback "You didn't tell him?" He asks hurt and Tom's eyes soften "Are you ashamed of me?"

"No, I..." Tom starts “Calm down! One fag at a time, please!” Tom snaps as he jogs out of the house and after Mark, leaving Jim behind. Tom walks out and sees Mark at the sidewalk, still deciding which way to go. Tom rushes and pulls him by the arm back into his front yard “Please don’t run away from me” He practically begs as Mark is caught off guard

“How long have you two been together?” Mark asks a bit too bitter, pulling his arm away from Tom forcefully

Tom shrugs “About a year, sorta, I guess” He says and Mark’s eyes widen in a pained expression “We had an open thing, I made it official when he got back home after New Years, that was when he moved in, so technically it wasn’t cheating…” Tom rolls his eyes

“It was one day after I left, Tom!” Mark snaps, maybe a little too loud, but Jim hasn’t been peeking on them “Twenty four hours before we were kissing in your car!” He says a little lower, but still just as angry.

“Wait wait wait” Tom says shaking his head, closing his eyes “This isn’t about me not talking to you about who I fuck, this is about the holidays?” He asks and Mark takes a deep breath “Oh my God, Mark! No strings attached! I was doing you a fucking favor!”

Mark’s eyes suddenly look even sadder, a tear rolls down his cheek and Tom gulps.

"I'm sorry"

Mark only and slowly starts to shake his head in disbelief “After twenty years, and telling you I loved you, you still saw it as if I wouldn’t have feelings over it?” Mark snaps a little bit angrier “Please don’t tell me you didn’t feel anything! Please don’t tell me you didn’t feel anything not a thing _nothing_!” Tom gulps and Mark shakes his head "I can't believe I let you in! I can't believe I fell for you and your talking and all your crap about being friends!"

"Hey!" Tom shouts "I'm not taking that back! I'm just telling you shouldn't have thought second intentions about anything!"

"I didn't" Mark interrupts him "I didn't! And that's the worst part because deep down, I did! I didn't mean to, you know? I just thought you would be on the same page as me!"

Tom gulps dryly "I... I am sorry"

Mark shakes his head “Did you find the artist for my tattoo?” he asks even more heartbroken

“I… I haven’t, not… Not yet, Marky…”

“Gosh" Mark rolls his eyes as he walks away, Tom realizes he can’t do anything but just let Mark go right now “Don’t ever call me Marky again!” Mark yells, looking back but not stopping on his way.

Tom stands on his front lawn, mulling it over. 

A few minutes later Mark sits at a bus stop as his hands shakily dial a number on his phone, he waits a few seconds before he hears the other person pick up

“Hey dude”

“Can you come pick me up?” Mark asks in a shaky voice.

***

Meanwhile, it is just another typical day in the common neighborhood high school Toni and Paul went to, they walk around the hallways as usual, trying to figure out what is going to happen now that they are a couple of weeks into their last semester. Paul sighs to himself as he sees the familiar figure coming towards them “Look who’s coming” He whispers to his sister, nudging her side. She wakes up from her daydream and notices her ex is walking on their direction.

“Hi Toni” Shawn says a bit awkwardly as he stops in front of her, Toni looks up at him and then looks a little further behind him, seeing a few girls chatter as they watch what is happening between the two of them.

“Hey Shawn” She smiles “How you doing?”

“Good. Hm, do you remember last month when you asked me to talk with Dylan? The boy who chased you and everything?”

“Yeah, sure” Toni replies “What about him?”

“I talked to him, he took it quite easily…” Shawn explains “I got talking to him and it made me think about things… You know?”

“About what?” Toni frowns confused, shaking her head, her bleach blonde hair flying around

“About you and I… I… Toni I want to ask you out…” He tells her quickly

“Oh” Toni says, she looks down to her feet and nods “I see”

“So… What do you think?”

“I…” She scratches the back of her head “I guess it wouldn’t be a bad idea if we went out just for a cup of coffee sometime… Talk things out, I... I don't feel like dating right now, I want to focus on other things, you know?” Toni shrugs “I mean, not today cause I have stuff today, but some time soon, you know…”

“Sure” Shawn smiles and waves at her “See you later. I will text you”

“See you” Toni waves back and turns around to see him leave down the hallway, Shawn turns around to look at her midway through and their looks cross each other. Toni feels something oddly familiar in her head and frowns to herself

“I swear you are gonna regret this so bad” Paul shakes his head and grabs his sister’s hand, pulling her to their next class.

***

Mark is with a single rose on his hand when the car reaches the corner of the street. The door opens for him and he gulps.

“What were you doing here?!?” Audrey spits at him, motioning for him to get in

“I…” Mark starts as he opens the door and climbs in, sulking into his seat “Tom and I had this fight I just… I just feel really bad…”

“Hm, I see” Audrey starts as she drives the car away “Matt tells me you might be rehired, I hope that’s good news…”

“I… I actually just got hired again, Matt called me a few hours ago…”

“Really?” Audrey gives him a tiny smile, but suddenly she goes serious again “Not like I’m proud of you or anything…”

“I know you are…” Mark laughs, giving her a light shove on the shoulder “I am sorry I treated you like that on that day. I feel like a real jerk”

Audrey looks at him from the corner of her eye, he’s not staring out the window like he usually does, he just stares at his hands on his lap.

Guilty.

“That’s because you are one…” She sighs with a smile “But I forgive you…"

The car suddenly turns into an empty parking lot and Mark’s eyes widen when he notices his surroundings, the car stops and Audrey unbuckles her seatbelt. She gets up but doesn’t leave the car, she moves and sits on Mark’s lap, putting her hands on each side of his face, Mark just stares after her. She smiles as looks into his eyes

“I missed you, big bear” She whispers to him and Mark smiles after her

“Well, I missed you too” He says honestly and she gives him a kiss, a really tender one, a caring one that he never thought he would get from her.

Audrey pulls back a little and caresses his cheek “So… What did you and Tom do?”

Mark frowns “What are you talking about?”

“I pass by your house every day, Mark. His car was parked there all the time from Christmas to New Years. I’m not stupid…”

Mark’s eyes go soft; he notices she’s been reading him over even when she was mad at him. There he is, having feelings from over twenty years ago with a girl who is actually twenty-something. Mark shakes his head.

“No, you’re not” He says and closes his eyes “You can guess what happened…”

Audrey nods “Why were you two fighting then?” She says running a finger on his chest, making him want her to rip it out of his body so bad, he needs her so bad. Mark looks at her dead in the eye, but she only urges him to tell her.

“He’s got a boyfriend and never told me” He says getting glassy eyes “He’s basically been lying to me about it for a year now…”

“Interesting… and he still slept with you?”

 “Yeah, they moved in together the minute after he left my house and he still didn’t tell me for these past few weeks” Mark sighs "He basically has been avoiding me since"

“You know what it sounds like?” She asks pulling her shirt off, Mark’s eyes widen “Don’t worry, shades” She says and he nods “It sounds like someone’s a little jealous…”

Mark looks to her bra, the way it perfectly cups her boobs “But of course I am jealous, it’s Tom, for God’s sake” Mark sighs, too scared to touch her “I will always be jealous for that son of a fucking bitch. He could be having sex with satan and I’d still not want to know about it”

Audrey sighs, she places a finger under Mark’s chin, moving his look from her boobs to her eyes “Honey, he probably never told you because he didn’t want to make you feel bad…”

“Tom doesn’t care that much. He’s been dating people ever since we broke up, it was never a problem… At least not to me, it wasn’t… He made it about himself, he didn't tell me to save himself! Not me!”

Audrey gives him a sad smile "I wouldn't say that so quickly if I were you" She tells him “Your jealousy is just reminding you he is happy with someone else now, even though after everything you have been through, he could be with you… This is not the first time it happens, you know?"

"What do you mean?" Mark asks, growing mad in some ways

"That’s why you talked him out of that marriage, Mark… You couldn’t see him happy with someone else other than yourself…” 

“I am not!”

"I'm not saying it has always been like this, but it is now because you feel hurt, just like you did after Elise passed away..." She explains “You are both just constantly trying not to get each other hurt, honey” 

Mark shakes his head “I should apologize…”

“No, don’t do that!” Audrey interrupts him “He will know you are jealous if you do that, just… Just show him support, you know, tell him you’re glad to see him happy and stuff, he was the one who hid things from you at the end of the day, okay? He is the one who should apologize…”

Mark nods “You’re right!”

"Of course, I always am” Audrey chuckles and takes a deep breath “You wanna see something really cool?”

Mark shrugs and nods, thankful she’s changed the subjects. She reaches down to her legs and raises up her skirt, showing him a pink thong.

“A thong, you have thousands of those” He says in a playful tone, smiling, happy to have her back

“Not one like this” She says and reaches to the side of her hip, pulling out a strap like you would do with a bra, she does the same thing on the other side and then pulls it out from underneath her, she puts it on her fist and shows it to Mark.

“Oh my God! That is so cool!” He exclaims laughing “Where did you get that?!?”

“Movie premiere” She chuckles “Why you want some?”

“Maybe” He laughs and looks at her in the eyes, she laughs again before leaning in to kiss him

***

It’s starting to get dark outside with the beggining of a heavy rainstorm when Toni looks out the window from Annie’s bedroom, the little girl walks back into the room, recently showered and throws herself on her bed. 

“I’m tired” The girl whines “You think I can take a nap?”

“If you want to…” Toni shrugs as she gets up “I can come wake you up in half an hour”

“One hour”

“No way”

“Okaaaaay” Annie sighs, pulling the covers from her bed and tucking herself in. Toni smiles as she heads out the room and closes the door behind herself. 

Toni goes down the stairs and into the living room, she sits down on the couch and picks up the remote control to watch something on Netflix, she chooses an episode from The X Files, but suddenly the door from Matt’s study to the backyard opens by itself and Toni jumps from her seat, noticing everything was starting to get wet by the rain 

“Shit!” She exclaims as she runs inside and closes the door. Toni runs into the kicthen, grabbing a wet mop and drying out what had leaked inside onto the hardwood floor, she places it aside for a second when her eyes focus on his Vinyl collection. 

She walks closer, interested in what she’s looking at, her eyes run over some of the copies and she decides to randomly pick one, she pulls it out and places it on the turntable, turning it on. 

She grabs the mop again and continues to finish drying everything, she moves in sync with the song, humming with i…

“What are you doing?” A deep voice asks from behind her and she jumps scared 

“Oh my God, Matt! What the fuck!” Toni breathes out surprised, a hand now on her chest as she tried to gain the color on her skin back “What are you doing?”

Matt laughs and walks closer, turning off the turntable “I should be asking you that…”

“Well, hm” Toni scratches the back of her head “The door opened by the storm and everything got wet, I thought I could listen to some music while at it, you know, just a treat” She shrugs and looks at him with hopeful eyes, expecting him to forgive her and just let it go. 

Matt looks at her, he squints his eyes and shakes his head “You have no idea how to pick your music” He says and grabs something from his collection, putting it into the turntable 

Toni just smirks.

***

Tom arrives at home from work when it’s about to get dark outside, he shuffles into the house as he parks his car in the driveway, throws himself in his bed and closes his eyes, pulling Sally into his arms. He doesn’t jump out of his clothes; he just lays there, dead. The day was a drag yet again. He peeks one of his eyes open when he sees Jim coming out of the bathroom, fully clothed already, khakis and black tee, damp hair on his face, Tom smiles, but doesn’t fully open his eyes

“Thought you were out” He states happily and Jim walks closer to the bed, Sally gets startled and leaves the bed, prancing outside.

“We need to talk!” He says and Tom’s eyes open and look at him

“What about? Is this about Mark?!?” Tom says a bit harshly, Jim shrugs

“Ma… Maybe. I wanted to take you out grocery shopping and maybe we could discuss about it? You need to get things straight with him…”

Tom only pats the place beside his on the bed “Come here” He isghs and Jim looks at him, he thinks for a while but decides to give in and crawl into the pillow by his boyfriend's side a bit too awkwardly 

"I am sorry I didn't tell him, it had nothing to do with you, Jimmy. I swear" Tom tells him earnestly and Jim takes a deep breath "Mark and I just have our problems and our doubts, I didn't tell him because I was scared of how he would react. I haven't been in a serious relationship in very long time..."

Jim sighs and shifts closer to Tom, kissing him on the lips, Tom slowly kisses him back, a bit too tired "It's okay" Jim whispers to him as he pulls back "I know you didn't mean any harm, but I couldn't help but think of it, you know?"

"Yeah" Tom nods "I understand"

"I just got upset, that's all"

Tom smiles and places his hand on Jim’s hair, caressing it

“You want to avoid the Mark talk so bad though” Jim says crossing his arms

“Oh come on, don't start that now” Tom whispers as he leans into Jim's ear, biting into his lobe “I'm too weak for another serious talk like that” He whispers hoarsely and Jim flinches

“Tom, we really need to talk about this!” Jim protests, even against his own will “You need to talk to Mark!” He sits, getting away from Tom’s touch “You never told him! It’s been almost a month!!!”

Tom props himself on his elbows “Hey!” He says pointing at his boyfriend “What I do or do not tell Mark is none of your business, what do you even know about the two of us?!? That we had a band??? Please, Jim, fuck off!” He practically yells and gets up, trying to leave the younger man alone, but he only puffs and gets up, following Tom.

“Oh wow, Tom! How mature!“

"Lucky me I’m not just trying to be a grown up!” Tom shouts at him

"What is that supposed to mean?" Jim asks angrily "You're the odd one here! And last time I remember you can only and exclusively talk about your best friend and shit!” Jim yells back, still walking behind him as he walks into the kitchen “If you don’t go talk to Mark, I will!”

Tom sighs, he suppresses his anger. He looks at Jim and nods “Me being angry at you right now is not about Mark, is about you meddling into things! What happens between Mark and I, stays between Mark and I! Okay?” Tom says a bit harshly

“I’m not asking you to tell me shit, Tom, I know he talked you out of marrying Elliott!” Jim shoots and Tom’s eyes widen “Yeah! I do! I know about Elliott! I know it, okay? So you just… You can keep pretending I’m just a kid but you can’t let your friendship of twenty years be ruined cause you think Mark is gonna rip the two of us apart!”

Tom takes a deep breath "Talking about Elliott is a low blow, Jim” Tom adds in

“I’m sorry” Jim whispers and Tom shakes his head

“I… I need to leave the car in the mechanics to fix something tomorrow so hm… You can give me a ride to work and I’ll take the bus to Mark’s house when I’m finished and then you come pick me up when you’re done, is that okay?”

Jim nods and smiles “It’s perfect” He says earnestly "I... I'll sleep on the couch, he says moving back inside, closing the door behind himself with a loud bang

Tom doesn't protest


	17. January 18th-28th, 2017

Mark is finishing making snacks for when the kids arrive back from school on that chilli winter afternoon; he takes a break from writing and decides to make a few grilled cheeses, he’s singing loudly when the doorbell rings.

Mark goes to the door but gasps in surprise when he sees the tall man standing outside with his leather jacket, instead of his kids. Tom has a sad smile on his face as he stands under the rain with a black umbrella in his hand, being it a bit too small for him, Mark tries not to smile at how silly it looked.

“Hm, hi” Tom waves his hand awkwardly, Mark waves back

“Hey”

“So… Hm, can I come in?” Tom asks “This rain is soaking me wet so bad”

Mark gives it in and smiles a little “Yeah, sure” He says as he makes way for his friend to come in. Tom walks in and puts the umbrella in the corner, he also takes off his jacket and Mark takes it from him, Tom looks at him surprised as he does so. “I was going to put it on the kitchen so it dries faster, if you don’t mind…” He says a little bit shy and Tom takes a deep breath and smiles “What?” Mark notices, Tom’s jacket still on his hands and a blank expression on his face

Tom shakes his head, wearing off his smile “Nothing” He says and Mark walks to the kitchen

“You can come if you want” Mark yells from the kitchen when he notices Tom didn’t follow him, Tom goes to the kitchen and watches Mark put his jacket on the back of a chair, dusting the water off “What are you here for?” Mark asks without looking at him as he turns back to the sandwiches.

Tom takes a deep breath, running a hand through his damp-ish hair awkwardly “I… I need to talk to you” Tom says and Mark sighs “I am sorry. I… Will you forgive me?” he asks quietly “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you before”

Mark takes another deep breath “Why didn’t you tell me before, Tom?”

“Gosh Mark, you know why…” Tom looks up “It’s fucking obvious!” He licks his lips and turns to his side, away from Mark so he wouldn`t look at his pathetic face. Mark gulps.

“I really miss you, you know?” Mark says and Tom turns back to him, surprised “I just get upset you would let something like this come between us, that is all”

Tom looks at him with a sad smile “I really miss you too”

“I forgive you” Mark smiles and Tom leans in, giving him a hug. Mark giggles as his friend pulls him into his arms “You’re such a queer, oh my God” He laughs

Tom smiles again and then pulls back, he looks at Mark for a second before walking away and further into the kitchen, he grabs one of the grilled cheeses and Mark lets him, starting to go make a few more again, it doesn’t take long until Paul and Toni are back home from rehearsal, when they do, it’s not raining anymore.

Paul runs into the kitchen, stopping by the door out of breath

“Woah, kid!” Mark says surprised as he sees Toni following in indifferent behind him, stopping behind her brother “What happened?”

“College results!” Paul shrieks while grabbing on his dark blonde hair “The same college Joe goes to!”

“Oh my God!” Mark smiles big and Tom laughs, getting up behind his friend

“Yay!” Toni tiredly says raising her hands up, almost sarcastically “I can’t wait to see it”

“Come on! Open them!” Mark shrieks as Paul hands over Toni’s envelope to her

“You go first…” She tells him with a smile and he nods, Paul’s hands are shaking as he opens up the letter, throwing the torn envelope anywhere in the kitchen. Toni notices Mark’s eyes sparkling as he eyes Paul’s exciting moment; she sighs to herself and looks over to her brother

“I got in!” Paul shrieks surprised “I got in! Oh my God!” He starts jumping up and down and Mark and Tom both pull him into a hug

“I am so proud of you, son!” Mark smiles as he takes Paul’s face into his hands “So proud!” He tells him and gives him a kiss on the forehead, Paul quickly wipes it off with a disgusted face and Tom laughs at both of them.

“Thanks dad!” Paul smiles, pulling back

“Congrats, kid” Tom pulls Paul into a hug

“Thank you, Tom” Paul says again and looks at the letter again “I can’t believe this! What about you?” Paul asks turning to his sister “Come on, Toni! Open up”

“Okay” Toni laughs nervous; she opens the letter casually and pulls out the letter, reading it quickly “I got in!” She laughs, shaking her head “They will just accept anyone?” She asks and Mark shakes his head

“Toni, don’t say that! This is all you and your brother’s effort! Joe goes to the same school and he finished top of his class!” Mark says

“You’re no fun, Toni” Paul pouts “Come on! Congrats sis!”

“I…” Toni says as she looks at the letter “I just don’t think this is the college for me, that’s all” She shrugs

“I’m thinking here, you guys could go there visit and take a look at how it is and see Joe, you know…” Tom suggests

“That sounds nice!” Mark says, nodding to the idea “What do you guys think?”

“I’m in!” Paul smiles before they all turn to Toni, waiting for her answer

“I don’t know…” She says a bit skeptical

“If you don’t like this school there’s a few others you applied, Toni” Paul remembers her “Honestly you just did this one because of Joe… See this as a last resort…”

“Last resort…” Toni repeats to herself, nodding as she read through the letter again “Right…”

“So, how was your day?” Mark says as he clasps his hands together

“Practice was awesome” Paul answers as they all move to sit at the table

“Didn’t know you were in the band too…” Tom says confused

“He isn’t” Toni walks more into the kitchen, sitting at the table “He is just watching for the moment, helping us sometimes…” She explained with no interest in talking to Tom “Why you here?” She asks as she picks up a glass of juice

Tom gulps “I… I came to apologize to your dad… I did some shit and we weren’t talking but we’re fine now…”

“Hm!” She turns around “So, Tom! Tell us about your life, what are you doing lately exactly?” Toni crosses her arms on top of the table “Been on any dates or…?”

Tom chokes a little on his sandwich and coughs, Paul puts a hand behind his back, patting it “Are you okay, Tom?” He asks calmly and Tom nods “Yeah… I’m fine”

“I…” Tom says looking at Mark, desperate for an answer, Mark scoffs

“Pf, come on, Tom. They’re adults, and even if they were kids, who cares? Go on…”

“Well, I, hm…” Tom tries to start, but can only scratch the back of his head “I’m…”

“Tom is living with a dude…” Mark breaks out suddenly, Paul’s eyes widen

Toni smirks at Tom.

“What?” Paul asks laughing “Since when? When can we meet him?”

“I’m not sure, he said he would pick me up later after work so maybe today, even…” Tom explains, and that was when the doorbell rang

“I got it” Mark says getting up and leaving to the living room.

“Well, wasn`t that a coincidence?” Toni asks as she takes a sip from her coffee. Tom gives her an annoyed look but she can only smirk at him before he rolls his eyes, fully knowing her games.

Mark opens the door and looks down to Jim, he’s wearing a dark hoodie over a Real Friends shirt, he’s got a backpack wrapped around one of his shoulders and black boots with dark skinny jeans. Scorpion tattoo, loose hair and septum piercing “Hi Mark!” Jim waves as he gave Mark a huge smile

“Hey, Jim, come on in” Mark gives way for the guy to come in “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m great! So… Hm, how did he behave?” Jim asks with a laughter

“Couldn’t have been a better boy” Mark laughs and shows him the way to the kitchen “Tom, your mom came to pick you up” Mark says as he and Jim walk into the kitchen

Toni spits out her coffee

“Oh my God, honey, are you okay?” Mark asks as he rushes to her

“I will be…” She says before quickly cleaning the table with the sleeve of her shirt

“Hey there” Tom smiles as Jim comes over to give him a kiss on the head

“Hey to you too” The younger man grins at him. Tom gets up and wraps an arm around Jim

“Well, hm, Paul, Toni, this is my boyfriend, Jim. Jim, they’re Mark’s kids, there’s still Joe but you should meet him anytime soon…”

“Don’t expect that” Toni shrugs “He doesn’t even remember what we look like anymore…”

“Toni…” Mark says sternly

“Why? It’s true!” She exclaims

“Hey guys…” Jim says waving at the two “Nice to meet you”

“Nice to meet you too, man” Paul says “So, hm, what do you do, Jim?”

“I’m a tourist guide; I’ve been living in the city for almost a year and a half now” Jim smiles and Mark motions for him to sit by Tom’s side, grabbing him a cup of coffee “You sure?” He asks and Mark laughs

“Of course, make yourself at home…”

Jim smiles “Th… Thanks” He says and sits beside Tom, who smiles warmly at him. Jim puts a hand on Tom’s knee under the table. Toni notices Mark taking a deep breath as he handed Jim the mug “Thank you, Mark”

Mark gave him a genuine smile

“Oh so you’re not from here? Well, I kind of can pick up an accent…” Paul continues

Jim takes a sip “Well, I was brought up in Montreal, I went to college in Toronto and ever since I graduated I worked in Orlando, New York and Washington, but when I was in DC one of my bosses told me to get rid of the piercing and get a way to cover my tattoos every day, so I quit and moved here” Jim explains with a smile “And it was around the time I met Tom so it was the perfect timing…”

“Actually Jim knows how to speak five languages!” Tom shakes his head, showing off his boyfriend as some sort of prize “It was of very good use when we were in Europe…”

Jim laughs a little bit shy, looking down at his hands “Well, I don’t actually speak five languages, but I do speak English, French and Italian fluently, I can scratch some Spanish and some Japanese, but it’s just basic conversation… I also know how to distinguish Portuguese and Spanish, which is awesome because God forbid you try to speak Spanish to a Brazilian, it doesn’t help in anything at all. Just something I picked up from when I was in Florida” He shrugs “What time is it?” Jim asks

“It’s 8PM; maybe we should be going…” Tom sighs as he gets up; Jim follows

“Already?” Mark frowns

“Yeah, I’ll be here tomorrow, don’t fret, oh my God, Mark” Tom jokes as he starts walking towards his friend, hugging him from behind. Mark smiles and shakes his head

“You’re a real joker,” He says before Tom pulls back and he gets up “Come on; I’ll lead you guys to the door…” Mark says walking out of the kitchen, Jim and Tom follow him

***

Tom moans, he throws his head back even further into the pillow behind his neck. His breathing his fast paced and quick, he tries to calm himself down but it’s useless, he pushes his crotch up one more time and he hears a poping sound, suddenly he feels cold. Jim climbs again on top of him and ghosts his lips over the older man’s “Are you okay?” He asks with a laugh but Tom keeps his eyes closed as he nods “Are you sure?” Jim questions again as he wraps his hand around Tom’s cock, pumping him.

“God, I… I am okay” Tom says quickly and tries to laugh, but he can only hang his lips open as he enjoys the pleasure his boyfriend is giving him. Jim bites into his bottom lip and then kisses them lightly, taking care for them before he gets up

“I’ll be back in a second” He whispers onto Tom’s ear and leaves him on the couch as he runs into the bathroom. Tom closes his eyes, waiting for Jim to be back, breathing in and out, trying to calm himself down. Jim has a bottle of lube in his hand when he comes back, he opens it and starts squirming some onto his own fingers and climbing again on top of Tom before he starts to finger himself, kissing Tom while he did it.

Tom reaches out his hand, he takes the condom Jim brought and opens it, putting it on himself. After that he takes the bottle and puts some on his fingers, he snatches Jim’s hand away and Tom runs his hands on Jim’s butt, touching it and apreciating it as much as he could while fingering the younger boy.

Eventually Jim props him and starts to sit into Tom’s cock, letting himself get used to it as Tom hissed in pleasure underneath him.

***

Rehearsal finishes late that day, so Frank offers to drive Toni back home so she wouldn`t have to ride her skate all the way down the street, it could be dangerous after all… He drives in silence as she stares out the window “You’re not one for much conversation in the car, aren’t you?” He lowers the volume to the stereo; she turns her head back to him.

“I’m sorry, I guess I am…” She chuckles

“I am actually really hungry, you wanna go grab something?” Frank asks as he turns into a corner, Toni shrugs

“Yeah, I guess we could eat in my house, if you want…”

“Sure, that sounds nice” Frank smiles

Frank parks on the driveway and they walk in, the house looks empty, not even Paul seems to be anywhere “Dad? Paul?” She yells as she walks further inside, Frank stops by the doorway and takes off his fake leather jacket, putting it on the rack by the door “They don`t seem to be at home”

“Look” Frank says as he picks up a piece of paper from the key bowl by the door, Toni takes it away from him as looks at Paul`s messy handwriting

“Toni, dad is out with Matt, I am over at Wendy`s, do not worry about me. Paul”

“Sneaky bastard is out with a chick!” Toni smiles as she shows Frank the note “Isn`t that amazing?” She laughs as she walks further inside “We have the house to ourselves” She smiles “You two want to start a mob or throw a puppy party?”

“I think your dad would be pissed if you threw a puppy party without him here” Frank laughs as Toni grabs the cookie jar, opening it and taking a look inside

“Same thing about the mob too” She points out “There is a lot of cookies here, you want them? We can sit outside and drink some milk with them” Toni explains and Frank nods

“Sounds like a plan” He nods and Toni grabs two glasses of milk, stepping outside with Frank and sitting at the wooden bench her mom had built herself when Toni was about four or five years old. They sit in silence for a while, just staring up at the sky

They stand still, eating cookies and lost in their own thoughts. Their silence is comfortable, is soothing, it is not like there is a pressure for any of them to say anything, or blur things out. Toni looks over to Frank, lost in his own thoughts and she smiles to herself. He notices her stare and laughs

“What are you looking at?” He asks with a smile

“Can`t I appriciate my band members anymore?” Toni asks and Frank looks over to her

“Of course you can” He whispers and reaches over to grab his glass of milk, drinking some off it “Can… Can I tell you something?”

Toni frowns, she takes another bite of her cookie, but nods “Sure”

“I… I never thought I’d ever have a band like this, you know?” Frank smiles as he turns to her, staring into her brown eyes “It’s just surreal, a few years ago I was pulling out my hairs thinking I’d never find out who I really was, and here I am, happy, on my way to know myself even more and on my way to have my dreams become true” He says giving himself a sad smile and Toni watches him speak, she leans her head on his shoulder and he lets her, smiling at the sight.

“I basically feel the same way…” She says looking at her hands

Frank slowly starts to nod, leaning his head against hers “You’re really cool, Toni, I’m glad I met you” He states and a little, but just a little, he inches his hand closer to hers. His heart is bursting in his ribcage as he looks at them nearly touching “Have you had any boyfriends?”

“What?” Toni laughs, raising her head again and looking at him “Why are you asking that?”

“Can`t I be curious anymore?” Frank plays it out with another laugh and Toni smiles, nodding at him

“I actually had a boyfriend last year and we dated for like eight months. I mean, I really liked him, but I’ve never been properly been in love, you know?”

Frank nods “Did you two have sex?”

“What?” She laughs again “Yeah, I mean, we were two horn dog teens, we pretty much started having sex a couple of weeks after we started dating…” Toni explains to him “What about you? Ever had any girlfriends?” She asks in a playful tone “Or boyfriends…? Who knows…”

Frank presses his lips together, thinking it out “Not really, I… I mean, I am not experienced in that area… The partner area, you know… I had a girlfriend in boarding school but it was a bit before I got expelled… Which I was because I was dating her, but anyway…” Frank shrugs a bit nervously

“I see…” Toni nods to herself

“Was that how you told your parents?” Toni asks, leaning her head on his shoulder again. Frank nods

“Yeah, I… They questioned me of course, so I told them how I felt and they said I should leave home in the morning” Frank voices out and Toni sighs

“I am sorry”

“It is okay, I have Travis now, I still have my sister. I have everything that matters. Plus, Megan would have never found out about Travis if it hadn`t happened…”

“What do you mean she found out about Travis?” Toni asks with a chuckle

Frank sighs “Mom was always really close to her family and… And they’re rich, like, mansions in New England rich and… And she always talked about this brother she had that my grandparents kicked him out of the house and he basically never got in touch with them again…”

“And that was Travis?”

“Yes” Frank nods “She always threatned Megan and I saying that she wouldn’t be scared to do the same her parents did to her brother… And it did happen in the end, she wasn’t kidding… The maid prepared me food and I went to bed, but I knew I wasn’t supposed to be there in the morning anymore. It was plenty of time for Megan to trace down family records, she is really smart about these things” He laughs nervously, obviously trusting everything he has on Toni`s good will right now “She googled Travis and found out he was a famous drummer, so she got me tickets for his next concert and bus tickets for me to get there… And… That day Travis got into a plane crash” Frank tells her and her jaw drops

“What?” Toni raises her head again

“Yeah” Frank nods sadly “I met him at the hospital when he woke up. He decided to go for retirement after that so we both moved here…”

“Wow, that’s… I don’t even know what to say”

“It’s okay” Frank smiles at her “Everything is fine today, he didn’t have any family and needed someone by his side, and so I did. I mean, it was years of recovery and trying to get into sync with each other, but the day we moved in together he…” Frank starts to smile at the memory “He took me to my first therapy session towards helping me, you know? And… And he was so attentive and he did his research to know who to take me to and… And he is awesome, Travis is the best parent I could ever ask for, you know?”

“That’s beautiful” Toni smiles “Sometimes the people who support us the most are the people who aren`t even blood related, you know?” She points out “Travis is lucky to have you too”

Frank smiles and looks over to her “Thanks”

“So… Your girlfriend…” Toni tries to remember him of what they were previously talking about, it was not like she was curious at all

“Oh yeah” Frank snaps back to his thoughts “I haven’t been with anyone ever since, and I’m not sure of what I like, or even if I like anything…”

“Well, I guess that when the time comes you will know if you like someone” Toni sighs “These things we know by experiencing them”

Frank takes a deep breath and purses his lips as he looks into her eyes “I… I was wondering if I… If I could, you know? Hm, kiss you?” He asks in a doubtful tone and she gives him a questioning look

“Wha… What?” She asks trying to process the information

“I… I have to know if… I need to know this,” Frank stutters out, not looking at her “I…”

“Shut up for a sec” She snaps in a low voice and gets closer to him, he looks at her with surprise as she gets closer and puts both her hands on his shoulder and she puts her lips on top of his. It’s a lips-on-lips kiss, smiple, caring. Frank sighs overwhelmingly into the kiss and Toni starts to move her lips shyly, Frank lets her but takes a while to respond. She notices it takes every ounce of him to do this.

Toni bites on his bottom lip and he opens his mouth a little bit more, putting his hands on her arms, pulling her closer and deepening the kiss. She licks his bottom lip, asking for entrance, but that is when he pulls back, out of breath and sort of panicked.

They look at each other for a few seconds, she pulls her arms down, keeping them to herself and he keeps his in place as well.

“Hm, so, was that among the lines of what you wanted?” She asks nervously and he nods a little

“I… I guess so”

“Or… Or did it only leave you more confused?” She asks worried

“No!” He cuts her “Not at all, it was great. I just need, I just need to think. I… I need to go!” Frank says as he quickly gets up

“Are you okay to drive back home?” Toni asks concerned

“I am” Frank sighs “I see you tomorrow?”

“Hm, sure” Toni says as Frank goes to the door and opens it himself

He is down and out in a heartbeat. Toni sighs to herself disappointedly.

***

“Are you effing serious?” Mark asks in a laughter as he has his hair pulled on by a girl and her wild curls. When she decides that the tiara looks good enough on Mark’s flattened hair, she smiles at him, giggles like the little kid that she is and runs back towards her pink chest of toys.

Mark smiles with a hand on his head as she leaves and he looks at Matt, who is sitting in front of him, also with a tiara and a few bows and bobby pins on his hair. Matt laughs at Mark’s new accessory. “Now, the make-up!” Annie shrieks as she comes over with her pink suitcase set

“I wouldn’t mind the make-up” Mark jokes she comes back over

“You know the both of us would look amazing, don’t you?” Matt tells him

“Of course!” Mark laughs “My daughter used to do the same thing when she was little” He says in a sad voice “God, I miss having kids around” He says and looks at Annie sitting in front of Matt, pulling out an eyeliner from the case and hastily putting on her dad’s eyelids

“Hey, I have a movie premiere thing to go this weekend, you wanna come?” Matt asks

Mark nods excitedly “Yeah, sure!”

“You cool if we go together, right?” Matt asks, I only got a plus one

“Of course” Mark smiles as he shrugs “Who else would I take?” He rolls his eyes playfully

Matt laughs as Annie starts doing his other eye “I don’t know, maybe your boy toy” He says and Mark shakes his head

“He’s got a boyfriend now” Mark tries to hide the bitterness from his voice, but he notices he fails miserably

Matt nods “So, he has a boyfriend, huh?”

“Now he does” Mark interposes as he also starts playing with the Legos

“Is that bothering you?” Matt asks, frowning at him as Annie searches for something else on her bag

“Why should it?” Mark answers without looking up from the make-up “Hey use this one, princess” He tells her as he hands her a bright orange eye-shadow “Do a favor to your dad’s eyes” Mark laughs as Annie smiles up at him and takes away the eyeshadow, giggling while she did so “It’s not like Tom and I like each other anyway…” Mark continues and looks up at Matt with a smile.

“Of course not” Matt chuckles and shakes his head “Have you been with anyone else since your wife passed away?”

Mark shakes his head “Not really. At least not like in a serious relationship…” He shrugs “I’ve gone out with women here and there but the fact that I have three teens always scares them away”

Matt gets up and starts walking towards the kitchen, Annie follows him, putting away her make-up bag “That’s kind of a dick move…”

Mark sighs “Matt, it isn’t one or two, it’s three” Mark says and chuckles “I don’t blame them. I think that since soon enough I’ll be living by myself so I’ll have more time for dating, you know?”

“Hopefully” Matt says as he grabs each a mug of coffee, he grabs a cup of juice for Annie and she runs inside to start playing with something else. He passes one of the mugs to Mark as he sits on the table

“Thanks” Mark says. He smiles as he takes a sip from his coffee and looks at Matt with his messy eyeliner on and the insanely bright orange eyeshadow Mark had chosen himself “You look so weird with that make-up on” Mark tells him

“You think that’s good?” Matt asks giving him a look and Mark shrugs “I can do better make-up than this, I promise you that” He smiles and shakes his head

Mark smiles back, he sighs and reaches out towards Matt “Just wait a sec” He says and shyly places a hand on his short dark blonde hair

“What are you doing?” Matt asks, looking closely at Mark’s face really close to his as well

“Fixing your bow” Mark chuckles and looks into Matt’s eyes “You wanna look like a pretty boy, don’t you?” Mark asks while a smile and Matt smiles back

“If you think so…” Matt says and Mark sits back, Matt notices the blush on Mark’s cheeks but he decides to not say anything this time

Matt takes a deep breath “Hey, you know what?” He starts “Would you mind posing for a painting?”

Mark laughs incredulous “What?”

“Yeah, I… I originally thought I would have a set of three paintings at the exhibit, but one of the artists quit too late so each of the other three get to take an extra one…”

“Why don’t you take anything you have?” Mark laughs, still not believing Matt is asking this from him

“Because it’s a set and I don’t want to take another random painting I did years ago… Plus, I did people and it’s really out of my style and this is more colorful and personal than the stuff I usually do…”

“Hm, I’m not sure it’s such a good idea…” Mark shakes his head, but with a smile on his lips.

“Come on!” Matt whines “It’s focused on people and I already have a painting of my sister, one of my friend Mike and one of Annie, please let me do you now?” Matt says putting both hands together and pleading. Mark shakes his head with a smile

“Okay…”

“Yes!” Matt cheers “I’ll get more coffee!”

“You want to do it now?” Mark asks as he gets up

“Why not? It’s only 7PM, we can get started…”

“Okay…” Mark nods “Alright”

“Let’s go” Matt says as he finishes filling up both mugs, Mark follows Matt upstairs to a room where Matt kept all his paintings. They stood at under a few blankets, so everything that you could actually see was the paint smeared across the floor, a few stools, a corner table where Matt kept dissolvent bottles, oils, brushes and the ink and the two easels, one empty in the middle of the room and one in the back with a half-done painting of something all… Yellow?

Mark frowns, but Matt did not seem to notice.

“Come on” Matt says as he grabs a stool, placing it against the wall in front of the empty easel, he takes Mark by the arm and motions for him to sit “Just stay here”

“Matt, you want me to be like this?” Mark asks pointing at his hair

“Oh” Matt smiles “Just wait here, I’ll be right back”

“Sure” Mark nods and Matt leaves the room, he comes back a couple of minutes later with an eyeliner, a pack of baby tissues and a hair comb in his hand. There is a tiny mirror on the wall and Matt places everything on top a stool, he takes the baby tissue and wipes off his make-up, then he grabs the eyeliner and puts it on. “What are you doing?” Mark asks, both amused and confused

“Even if I take off the make-up, it’ll still show a little, so I gotta do it right, okay?”

“Sure” Mark shrugs

“Or I just really wanna show you my skills…”

“Never had any doubt about that”

Matt smiles and shakes his head, he takes off the pins in his hair and runs a hand through it. He puts the eyeliner and the tissues on the table. He grabs the stool and sits in front of Mark, the comb now in his hand “Just stay still, I’m gonna fix your hair now, okay?”

“Hm, okay” Mark whispers when he sees Matt sitting way too close to him.

Matt takes off the bows and the bobby pins off Mark’s hair and tosses them on the table, he takes a hand on his strings and caresses through it, patting it down. Mark closes his eyes and falls into the embrace, this has to be the best thing someone has ever done while touching him.

“Your hair feels really good…” Matt tells him quietly

“Your hands feel really good too” Mark answers and opens his eyes to see Matt smiling at him. Mark wants to kiss him again, Mark’s eyes drops to Matt’s lips, but now he is too distracted getting the comb to finish fixing Mark’s hair around his face.

Matt gets up. Mark sighs to himself, he misses his timing.

“Are you okay?” Matt asks “You seem nervous”

“No, hm, it’s okay” Mark nods to himself “Can you give me my cup of coffee?”

“Sure” Matt says picking it up from one of the stools, where his own coffee mug sat and handed it to Mark

“Thanks” Mark smiles before taking a sip.

“Let’s get starts then…” Matt says as he walks over where a few blank canvases were set, he looked at them for a while and chose one, he sat down in front of the easel and placed it there. Mark looked at him as he set out his brushes and looked at the ink he had “What is your favorite color?” Matt asks

“Pink”

“Great!” Matt exclaims and pulls out a few variations of pink, purple and yellow out of the drawer, Mark just observes him. Matt squirts out a bit of each onto the top of the table and finally he dips his brush in, placing it on the canvas.

“You want me to do something?” Mark asks, the mug still on his hands.

“No, don’t worry” Matt smiles “Just stay there and drink coffee and if I need you to do anything I will tell you, okay?”

“Okay” Mark nods to himself

“You can talk with me if you want…” Matt says as he sticks his tongue out while doing a line. Mark sighs to himself

“Can I ask you something?” Mark starts

“Sure” Matt says as he shifts on his seat, trying to take a better look of the canvas.

“What happened to your wife?” Mark asks carefully and Matt looks at him frowning “I’m sorry, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to…”

Matt chuckles “It’s okay” He shakes his head “Her name was Clara” Matt smiles “We were four years into our marriage, set like stone” He explains “I never wanted kids, but she did. No one could convince me otherwise, that grew like a rash into our marriage and she eventually left me,” He says “Sounds dumb, but that’s exactly what happened…”

Mark frowns “But…”

“When we got divorced, I gave her the house and moved to my friend’s apartment, he used to do volunteer work at the orphanage down the street and I helped him sometimes, occasionally” Matt explains “I was there the day Annie arrived, she was only two years old”

“Wow” Mark explains “Really young, huh?”

Matt nods “But apparently not young enough to get into some list of sorts anyway… I know I came back three days later and she just wouldn’t stop crying, my friend had asked me to prepare food and I was singing while I did so, she just stopped crying as soon as I started” Matt then smiles “After that she grew close to me and… I would go there every day to see her. I eventually moved out of my friend’s apartment after a few months, and when I did, I was sort of far away from them, it was a hassle to go see her” Matt explains “That was when I realized she had grown on me, like a tiny little flower that I couldn’t be away from, you know?”

Mark nods, smiling at his friend

“I love her more than anything. That divorce was a blessing in my life” Matt laughs

“Do you still talk to Clara?” Mark asks

“Actually yeah” Matt chuckles “We were married for four years, she was going to get married again and invited me to the wedding, so I took Annie with me. Look” He says as he gets up, pulling his phone from the back pocket of his jeans, Matt unlocks it and looks for something, until he hands Mark his phone. Mark looked at it and Matt sat down again

Matt’s wife was short and had light blonde hair, green eyes, and a smile on her lips as she carried Annie on her arms as Matt stood next to them, smiling at the sight.

“Was she mad?” Mark asks, but Matt only shakes his head as he cleans one of his brushes into a tissue that was in his lap

“She understands it would have never happened if we hadn’t broken up” He chuckles, looking at the painting again “But I kind of wish she had come back, you know?” Matt tells him “Sometimes I wonder if I only adopted Annie and got this close to her because somehow, deep down, I was waiting for Clara to see I had changed…”

He says and Mark nods “But you know that’s not the case right?” Mark says and Matt looks at him “Annie is everything, not Clara” He explains simply and Matt smiles “You wouldn’t go through the hassle of the divorce when you could’ve just said yes to her…”

“I know I would never love her again as much as I love Annie…” Matt says while looking at Mark. Mark smiles, looking back at Matt

“I’m sorry about your wife” He says apologetically, and Matt smiles back, a bit sad

“Thank you, Mark” He says before focusing back on the ink “Now can I ask you something?”

“Sure” Mark nods, taking another sip from his coffee

“Was your daughter raised fine without her mom?”

Mark sighs “I… I think so, yeah. She had a lot of help from Tom though” Mark explains, “Toni’s real name is Elise, you know?” He says, “She has her mother’s name, and she doesn’t want to be called like that to not remember her, she sort of blames herself for her passing away”

Matt smiles sadly “Tough, huh?”

Mark nods “Yeah”

“She’s the smartest girl I’ve met, Mark,” Matt tells him “She’s gonna go a long way”

“Then you shouldn’t worry about Annie” Mark smiles “She’s gonna be amazing too” He says and Matt smiles back.


	18. February 16th, 2017

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, I just wanted to make a quick adding this week that now I made a masterpost with all the fics I have written and you can find it on tumblr here - deathcomealive.tumblr.com/masterpost
> 
> That art gallery is a made up place btw
> 
> Enjoy <3

“Look at this guy” Tom smiles, still holding on to his phone “He does a little new school and bold lines and he works with scales of grey, see?” he shows Mark the artist’s Instagram account

“I like the dot work he does” Mark points out while looking at the pictures

“I also found this one” Tom continues, placing another artist onto his iPhone screen “He also does bold lines but his style is more cartoonish, and he does more lively colors and not just scales of grey and stuff…” Tom looks at Mark, waiting for a reaction from his friend, handing the phone to him to take a better look

Mark takes the phone and smiles as he looks at the pictures “I want this one” Mark says, still flipping through the pictures “Can you make an appointment with this guy?”

“The cartoon guy?” Tom asks and Mark nods “Sure!” He says and Mark smiles as Tom gets up “I just really need to get back to work now, is that okay?” he asks and Mark nods

“Sure” Mark gets up as well, leading Tom out to the front door “It was really nice having lunch with you…”

“Yeah, It was. It had been a while” Tom smiles “So… I’ll tell you when I make the appointment, right?” Mark nods eagerly and waves Tom away, closing the door behind himself and Mark fingirls a little about getting his first tattoo

***

“This is our rehearsal spot” Toni gestures around as Megan helps her open the garage door. Jared followed in behind them, lowering his head as the tall guy walks in. He had called Toni not that many days before to see if they could catch up, so she invited him over for rehearsal. “We play here every day after I come back from school and after Frank and Megan come back from work…” She goes on

“Oh, where do you work?” Jared asks Megan as she turns back to him and Toni. 

“I work at an art supply store” She tells him simply “Cool job, the hours are flexible” She shrugs and Jared nods “You definitely have the coolest job out of all of us here though”

Jared laughs “To be honest, yeah, I do”

Toni’s hands pluck on the guitar strings as she picks it up from the stand “Hey, you know how to play bass, right?” She asks Jared

He nods “Yeah, but I’ve been kind of rusty lately, I basically play only for soundtracks or when Tom asks me to…”

“Catch” Toni says as she picks up Frank’s bass at the corner of the room and walks over to the taller guy, shoving it into his chest. Jared picks it up confused “Play us anything, even if you suck we won’t mind” She laughs

“Toni and Frank suck too so don’t feel ashamed” Megan says as she sits behind her kit. Toni laughs

“Alright” Jared breathes out a bit skeptical before starting to play. Toni looks back at Megan with an approving look; Megan then starts to slowly catch him up on a beat from her drums.

Frank comes back from the inside and looks at the scene. “What is happening?” he asks with a confused smile

“Frank, you remember my friend Jared, right?” Toni asks and Frank and Jared exchange looks “The two of you met that one day at Strange Times…”

“Yeah, of course" Frank laughs “You play bass?” he asks, pointing at his instrument on Jared's arms

“Oh, I’m sorry, Toni just gave me the base, I didn’t mean to take it” Jared apologizes as he tries to hand Frank the base, but the only laughs

“Dude, play it out, let’s see what you’ve got” Frank smiles and pats him on the back

“He’s actually quite good” Megan points out “I like him”

“Well, we actually do need a bassist…” Toni says slowly, Jared shakes his head when he notices what’s happening

“Nuh uh” Jared he shakes his head quickly “I don’t have time, you know that, Toni!”

“Jared, you’re really good!” Toni laughs “You can take off the time to pick up a hobby again, Tom isn’t going to drain you because of this, believe me!”

“But I have college!” Jared laughs

“Lane juggled working at Luke’s, Adventist college and having a band” Frank smiles

“First, we know how that turned out and second, that was in Stars Hollow, Frank” Megan laughs “This is real life…”

“Good luck telling Tom that” Jared says and Toni chuckles

“Let’s do it like this” Megan gets up and walks up to him “You can play with us whenever you feel like it. If you want to come, you come, if you wake up one day and decide we’re shit, you can go. No strings attached” She tells him “But come play with us until we find someone else or until we have our first concert, just come play and have fun, dude!”

Jared looks at Toni, smiling as he thinks about it “That sounds like a really nice and tempting offer…”

“I’m up for it if you’re in” Frank says “We’re past overdue a bassist. A real one for that matter…”

Toni smiles “We have a full band then”

“But I…” Jared starts

“It’s decided!” Toni interrupts him. Jared only laughs and shakes his head at her.

“Okay then”

***

Jared gives Toni a ride to Matt’s house after they are done with rehearsals, she uses her spare key to go in and closes the door behind herself. Toni places her backpack on the corner before she notices a pair of long legs sticking up from the couch, she frowns to herself and leaves her guitar case by the door as well, she walks closer and sees Matt taking deep breaths as he sat upside down on the couch

“What are you doing?” Toni asks, snapping the older man out of his thoughts

“Toni!” Matt shrieks “I…” He starts and looks at his watch “You’re right on time!”

“I wanted to be early but we just found a new bassist today!”

“What? That’s great!” Matt smiles as he fails to sit up, instead he rolls off the couch awkwardly and falling into the ground

“Oh my God, Matt! Are you okay?” Toni asks as she rushes over to him, her blonde hair flailing with her movements, but the lanky man manages to get up by himself

“I… I’m okay, I guess” Matt says as he looks around confused

“You’re fucking nervous” Toni chuckles as she reaches out and grabs Matt’s arm, pulling him over to the kitchen

“What are you doing?” He asks confused, but she only makes him sit down as she looks over his kicthen cabinets, looking for something. Toni finds a bar of chocolate and sits by his side, opening it and handing him some “What is that for?”

“Something sweet so you’ll relax” Toni tells him and Matt frowns as he takes the chocolate away from her, bringing it to his own lips “Tonight is big, you don’t need to be nervous about this”

“I’m sorry I freaked you out” Matt breathes out and Toni only chuckles

“It’s okay” She shakes her head “Just focus on getting calmer, alright?”

Matt closes his eyes and breathes in deeply, and exhaling calmly, he does that for a while and Toni watches it patiently. Matt opens his eyes again and takes some more of the candy “Congratulations on the bassist though" He smiles at her “That’s a big step for you guys”

“Thanks” She laughs nervously

“Thank you for doing this too” Matt says as he gets up “I should really get going now...”

“Go have fun and have an awkward conversation with dad when he sees your painting… I got this” Toni laughs and Matt shakes his head

"Okay, so Annie is upstairs doing her homework, I’m just gonna tell her bye and I’ll go”

“Sure thing” Toni smiles as Matt leaves over towards the stairs

***

Mark, Paul and Audrey sit in the living room, Audrey and Mark both have glasses of wine on their hands while Paul was drinking orange juice and watching TV.

“So…” Audrey starts, licking her lips carefully to not smudge her purple lipstick “You’re still in high school, Paul?”

“I graduate this year actually” He nods awkwardly

“You have any plans on college?” She asks eagerly and he frowns “College sounds so fancy! And your dad sure does talk a lot about it” She says and Mark looks briefly towards her

“I hope so" Paul continues "I already got into one I’m really excited to attend to, so, yeah… I will. I think dad’s main goal in life is to put the three of us through college, so there’s that too” He says and Mark smiles at him

"You have no idea how much I am screwing my ass off to do that for the three of you" Mark grunts, but his intentions are nice. 

“You know your major already?” Audrey wonders while taking another sip from her wine, Paul fixes the glasses on his face

“Well, I’ve been thinking about architecture or design, that’s the one I specify on my interviews actually…”

“What about your sister?”

“She says she wants journalism but in all honesty I think she just says that because she knows she can change it once she’s inside, she honestly has no idea of what she wants…”

“I see…” Audrey nods “Are you still a virgi…”

“ _Oh my_ look at the time!” Mark taps Audrey on the knee quickly and gets up after interrupting her

“Sure” She says and gets up, Mark quickly picks up her trench coat from the couch and puts it around her “It was good talking to you, P…”

“Paul”

“Paul! Yes!” She laughs nervously, her curly locks going around “Bye!” She waves awkwardly and Paul waves at them as they both walk out

“Bye son!” Mark shrieks as he closes the door “That was terrible” He tells her as soon as the door locks in " _Are you a virgin?_ Really?!?"

“What?!“

“Your small talk with my son?” Mark laughs “You didn’t even remember his name!”

“I just met him!”

“You asked him about sex!”

“No, but I think I did some da…” Audrey continues as they keep on walking, but then Mark suddenly stops halfway through a step

“Tom!” He exclaims and Audrey looks up, seeing the tall man in front of her

“Oh my God, where did you come from?” She gasos surprised, stumbling on her feet when she notices Tom and Jim are on her way, Jim smiles at her awkwardness

“Hey” Tom frowns, but a smile still on his lips “You seem surprised to see me…” He says turning over to Mark

“I… Well, I just saw you this morning…” Mark shrugs “Wh… What are you doing here? Hey Jimmy…”

“Hey, Mark” Jim smiles and waves at him as he still has an arm wrapped with one of Tom’s

“I came to see you spontaneously like I do every few nights,” Tom laughs

“But why to- Why tonight?” Mark asks curiously

“Because I felt like it…”

“You guys seem like you’re going somewhere fancy…” Jim pipes in, smiling at both of them “I love your jacket! I’m Jim, by the way…” He says and extends a hand to Audrey, who smiles and takes it

“Oh, I’m Audrey…” She smiles and shakes hand with Jim and Tom as well “We’re going to the art exhibit of a friend of ours actually, tonight is the grand opening…”

“Sounds nice!” Jim smiles “I haven’t been to one in ages!”

“Matt’s art exhibit, huh?” Tom asks and Mark nods

“Yup” He says placing both hands inside his jeans’s pockets

“You’re wearing jeans” Tom points out

“Yes”

“You never wear jeans”

“Sometimes we make sacrifices and try to look good” Mark nods, Tom only squints his eyes at him.

“Where is it? I’d love to go see it sometime, who knows maybe take a few of my tourists there…” Jim pipes in

“On the Roosvelt, actually” Audrey answers. Mark and Tom just stay silent, waiting and wishing for their plus one’s to just shut up already.

“Oh! The Roosvelt! Nice gig!” Jim exclaims

“We can go now if you want…” Tom pipes in and Mark abruptly looks up

“What?!”

“Yeah, it’s an open ceremony, right?” Tom asks directly at Mark

“Yeah, it is, but…”

“Then we’re going” Tom smiles “I mean, why not? Right?”

“Tom, I would love to, but I don’t think we’re dressed appropriately for that…” Jim shoots “I’m wearing dark jeans and a Bauhaus shirt…”

“Matt would actually appreciate that…” Mark laughs and Tom gives him a look

“You think my leather jacket would do?” Tom asks, wrapping it tighter around himself

“Sure” Mark shrugs “It looks good on you”

“We’ll meet you guys there then” Jim smiles, Tom takes a deep breath

“Sounds like a plan!” Audrey smiles as well and both couples walk back to their respective cars. Mark waits until Audrey’s door is closed by his side before he speaks

“What the hell just happened?” Mark asks and she frowns

“What?”

“Why were you being so nice to them?! I didn’t want them to come!!” Mark whines “Tom is insanely jealous of Matt!”

“He is, huh?” She smirks as she looks at Mark

“Why are you giving me that look?”

“Is there a reason he would be jealous of your boss?”

“I…” Mark starts, he puts a hand on his face and shakes his head “Matt came over one day when Tom was here and Tom just kept bickering to him and…” He says and Audrey squints her eyes

“You like Matt?” She asks and Mark frowns

“What? Me? Liking my boss, no, I…”

“You like Matt” Audrey states

“I don’t, okay?!?”

“Mark” Audrey laughs “I don’t blame you, okay? Probably if I spent more time with him and if he wasn’t a total drag I’d probably have a crush on him too!”

“I do not have a crush on Matt!” Mark shouts

"Have you looked at him?!?”

“Audrey!”

“Come on! Now, I am offended that you don’t”

“Just…” Mark sighs, slumping onto his seat “Please, just stop, I don’t want to talk about this anymore…”

“Okay” Audrey nods as he buckles in her seatbelt, sighing “Whatever you say…”

Mark only breathes in brokenly before turning on the car and driving away

***

Mark and Audrey get there at the same time as Jim and Tom, they all walk in, Audrey separates from them for a while, grabbing two glasses of wine, one for her and one for Mark. “I talked to one of the other artists and he said that Matt hasn’t arrived yet, but he will sometime soon…” She says handing Mark his glass when she comes back

“I will wait for him so I can see the paintings…” Mark takes a sip and Audrey nods

“Yeah, I think it’s best”

“We’ll go take a look then, we don’t want to bother you guys…” Jim takes Tom’s hand, pulling him away “They make a cute couple” Jim tells Tom as soon as they’re out of earshot “He’s just way older than she is…”

“Look at yourself before saying that” Tom laughs, wrapping an arm around his boyfriend

“Hey, the two of us have what?”

“Fifteen years of difference, Jim” Tom laughs

“Wow, that’s a lot” Jim frowns to himself “What is their age difference?”

“As far as I remember Audrey is twenty-four, so that makes…” Tom starts, but then stops to make the math in his head “Twenty-one years”

“You say it as if we were any better" Jim laughs

“I still hate you for bringing me here, you know that, right?” Tom smiles

“It was your idea!” Jim laughs and hits him on the arm. They both look up at the wall “Wow!” Jim smiles breath-taken “This is beautiful!”

“It’s…” Tom starts, but he is too shocked to say anything “It’s _Mark_!”

The painting is Mark, it clearly is Mark. Serious, eyes closed with a faint smile on his lips, all in shades of pink, yellow and purple, amused, not confused. Tom stares at it with a loss of words.

He has to admit it is a beautiful painting nonetheless.

Something is badly turning in his guts and he just despises it. 

“That one is beautiful too!” Jim points at a painting of Annie, looking to her side, afro hair on her face, all in shades of blue, white and green

“Yeah, sure” Tom answers quickly without even looking at it, his eyes not focusing away from the man plastered in the canvas. He looks down and sees the name _“Pretty in Pink, by Matt Skiba”_

“Let’s go look at other things” Jim smiles as he tugs on Tom’s sleeve, taking a hold of his boyfriend’s hand

“Sure…” Tom slowly looks away, following Jim. He takes his eyes down to his feet and walks a little to the next set of paintings by some other artist. Tom looks down, thinking it over. I mean, were they something serious? Or were they becoming? Is it too soon or too late? Tom mulls it over in his mind and he can't help not to. Jim nudges his side and Tom looks up, but he has a surprise when-

“Matt?” He asks awkwardly when he sees the blonde, blue-eyed man in front of him

“Tom! Hey, man, how are you?” Matt smiles, walking closer to the couple, welcoming them warmly. Jim smiles too and something fuzzes inside Tom's guts. 

“Hm” Tom says scratching the back of his head “I’m good, I’m good” He says nodding “What are you doing here?”

Matt frowns “This is my exhibit”

“Oh yeah, sure” Tom tries to smile it away “This is my boyfriend Jim. Jim, this is Matt, he works with Mark…”

“Hey, nice to meet you!” Jim smiles as he shakes hands with Matt “I love your paintings! They’re exquisite! The technique is so unsual and beautiful, a mix of abstract and classic at the same time”

“Wow, thanks!” Matt says surprised with his deep voice, smiling at Jim as he finishes shaking the younger man’s hand “That is insanely different from everything I do, I usually make more goth and white on black stuff. One day I was painting with my daughter and she was the main inspiration to make something more colorful, and yet monochrome somehow…”

“They’re amazing! Congratulations!” Jim chuckles and Matt nods “Are they for sale?”

“Yes, they are!” Matt smiles "Are you planning on buying one?"

"Nah, I was just wondering" Jim shrugs “I’ve been thinking about bringing some people over, I am a tourist guide, so people are always excited to see things like these and they’ll ask about it…”

“Awesome, the more the merrier” Matt smiles again “I actually feel the same about Tom’s books, I know I’ve said this before, but your books are amazing, I’m a fan!”

“Thanks, it…” Tom forces out a grin, it’s not that he doesn’t like the compliments, he just feels very uncomfortable right now “It means a lot, dude”

“You’re welcome. Feel free to get drinks and look around a little bit more”

“Yeah, thank you” Tom nods “We’ll keep looking…”

“Great!” Matt says and leaves them, letting it be. Tom sighs relieved once he's gone

Tom pulls away from Jim, and places a hand on his shoulder “Can you wait here for a second, hon? Just… Just keep looking, I’ll try to find Mark, he was looking for Matt…”

“Yeah, sure, go on, I’ll show you what’s hot later” Jim smiles and Tom gives him a kiss on the cheek

“I’ll be right back” Tom says before walking away and stepping outside the saloon, he looks around and sees Mark by a corner, talking on his phone and with a cigarette on his hand. Tom walks closer, trying to talk to him when Mark notices his presence

“Yes, mom, I’ll take Paul over sometime to help you fix your computer…” Mark says into the reciever “It can be tomorrow after class, I can pick him up from school… Great! It’s a date. Bye mom, I love you” Mark says and hangs up “Hey, what’s up, Tommy” Mark smiles when Tom comes over

“Matt is inside”

“Oh, He probably got in and I didn’t see him. I just came out here to smoke, are you feeling well?” Mark frowns worried, noticing Tom doesn’t look too good "You look pale"

“Not really” Tom sighs “I… I’m sorry I was such a jerk to Matt the other day”

“What?” Mark laughs as he takes another drag from his cigarette “Tom, that was months ago...”

“Matt is a nice guy, I shouldn’t have treated him like that… And… He is my fan! God, I feel so stupid!” Tom gives himself a hit on the forehead

“Hey!” Mark pulls down his arm, stopping Tom from hitting himself again “It’s not me you should be apologizing to…”

“But I only treated him like that because I was jealous. I know I can’t hold you back, I want you to be happy”

“What are you talking about?” Mark asks confused, that’s when they see Jim and Audrey approaching them

“Hey, we were everywhere looking for you two!” Audrey whines

“Jim, I think we should get going, I don’t feel very good…” Tom complains as he puts a hand on his stomach

“What happened?” Jim asks concerned

“I think it was the shrimp Mark made me eat today; I should have known to stop eating it when I felt a piece of three-day-old ass in it”

“God, you’re such a jerk,” Mark laughs

“Are you being serious, or…?” Jim asks confused, but amused

“It was a joke” Tom tries to laugh it out “But I really don’t feel good…”

“I see, let’s go home, I’ll take care of you…” Jim says “We can come back some other day to finish looking”

"Yay" Tom says unimpressed, but nods as they all say goodbye. Tom and Jim leave and Mark notices Audrey is just exploding to tell him something

“What happened in there?” Mark asks knowingly as he turns to her

“I have amazing news for you!” Audrey shrieks, gesturing with her hands “I know about someone who has a crush on you!”

“What?”

“Okay, I’ll elaborate more, I know about someone who has a reciprocate crush on you...”

“Audrey!” Mark rolls his eyes

“Come on in, you’ll see it yourself!” Audrey starts dragging Mark inside, she pulls him around the saloon until they reach Matt’s corner and Mark looks at the painting, his jaw dropping. 

Mark stops in his tracks, his heart jumping a beat. It's amazing, it's way more beautiful than he could have ever expected. Everything freezes right there, time, space, everyone and everything around him. It's one of those moments you realize: You are fucked over your own feelings and there's no way back now. Mark smiles, and he knows he is grinning like a goddamn fool.

Something is happily turning in his guts and he just loves it. 

“God, this is…” Mark smiles even more as he walks closer “It’s beautiful!”

“It’s you!” Audrey objectifies from his side

“Oh, I know that” Mark shrugs, still looking mesmerized at it

“You knew about this?”

“I posed for it actually”

“Gosh!” Audrey laughs and shakes her head “You can’t run away from it now, Hoppus” Audrey sighs and this is the moment Mark should run away, but instead he just keeps on smileing at the painting, his heart warm and his head in the clouds.

"Hey" They both hear someone coming from behind them. Mark turns around and sees Matt smiling behind them. Mark takes a deep breath, he blinks a few times, trying to gain his composure again "You came!"

"I... Of course I did" Mark laughs awkwardly, he can feel himself blushing as Matt chuckles at his awkwardness "How... How could I miss this?"

"You liked it?" Matt bites his lip as he looks over Mark's shoulder towards the painting "I know it's not my best work, but I..."

"It's perfect" Mark tells him quickly "I... I love it" He says and shakes his head, looking at Matt, who only grins even wider at him "I love... You know? 

Matt chuckles again and nods "Well, I'm glad. Can I get you two anything?"

"Yeah, more wine would be good" Audrey smiles and Matt nods

"Hm... Potato?"

Matt laughs "What?"

"You have any potatoes?" Mark asks awkwardly "Fried, roasted..."

Matt squints at him, but a smile still plays his lips "We have vegan quiche" He laughs

"That'll do" Mark nods quickly 

"Suuuuure, I'll be back in a second" Matt says as he turns away, walking towards the kicthen 

"Mark, your crush is showing" Audrey giggles as soon as he's gone

"Shut up, Audrey"

***

David has been working something on his garage since he and Matt had gotten back from work, he is building now a bench that they can put in front of the house. The paint is waiting on the side as he keeps on giving it the last details. He stops and sits down on it, trying to get some rest as he looks up at the wall and sees it’s 2AM already. David puts both hands on his face and sighs, grabbing a damp cloth and passing it gently on his face, getting the dirt and sweat out. That’s when he hears a faint noise in the back of the house.

He turns around, trying to see what made the noise, but he doesn’t see anything, so he resumes placing the cloth on his face, but he hears the noise yet again. David gets up and decides to go to the back of the house, see what is going on. He reaches the backyard and steps outside, he looks for the source and he hears it again.

There is a small grey and black cat sitting by one of the windows that open towards the kitchen. David slowly walks closer and the cat gets startled, looking at him with panicked eyes. He looks at the poor thing and takes a deep breath, David shakes his head as he walks inside again, going into the kitchen and looking out for something, anything really.

He decides to grab one of Matt’s bowls and pours some milk on it, David walks outside carefully again to not spill the milk. He places the bowl on the floor and sees the kitten still staring at him, he nods and walks back to his bench, to which he stood in front of for some other five minutes, trying to find a flaw or a loose screw on it.

Suddenly he looks down and surprisingly sees the cat purring against his leg, David gets startled by the sudden affection from a strange animal. He goes to the backyard and sees the now empty bowl on the grass

“I know I shouldn’t have done this” He sighs to himself, punishing his own poor judment to feed a homeless cat “Let’s see what’s up with you” He says kneeling down, taking a look at him.

“Oh, you have a huge gash on your head, don’t you?” David now notices that the poor thing is injured. He thinks to himself a little and takes a deep breath “Come on” He picks up the cat “Let’s get you taken care of” He tells the kitty and walks inside the house with him.

He looks around for the first aid kit, trying to find a gauze to clean off the dirt from the wound, but he can’t find any. He sighs and walks up to Matt’s room, David opens the door and the light from the hallways immediately hits his friends face, who hums in his sleep.

David still has the cat on his arms, he walks up to Matt and pokes him

“Hey buddy” He says shaking Matt, trying to wake him up “Where is the first aid kit?”

“What?” Matt asks, still not opening his eyes “It’s the middle of the night, Dave”

“The first aid kit?” David asks, Matt shakes his head and opens his eyes slightly, he opens them fully when he sees the cat.

“Why do you have a kitten?” He groans

“He was in the backyard, he’s wounded” David explains

“Can we keep him?” Matt asks, still groggy in his sleep

“What? Matt, I just need the kit, please”

Matt sighs and stretches himself out on his bed, David eyes his belly when his shirt is lifted up and he looks away, trying not to focus on it or to get distracted. Matt then grabs the glass of water on the bedside table, taking a gulp from it and then getting up

“Let’s go find that kit” He says walking out of the room. David takes a deep breath and shakes his head before following his friend. Matt walks into the kitchen and turns on the lights, his eyes squinting from the sudden light and tiredness “So, what does he have?”

“Just a wound on the top of his head” David says, showing it to Matt as the cat purred at the two of them “He’s also got some fleas and ticks…”

“We can take care of the wound right now but we need to take him to the vet tomorrow…” Matt explains as he takes a look, getting closer, David gulps before Matt turns back to the cabinet and pulls out the first aid kit from the top of the fridge “Tom can tell us a good one at work tomorrow”

“That’s where we keep the kit?” David frowns and Matt nods “I would have never guessed it…”

“Just hold him for me, will you?” Matt asks and David holds the kitty down as Matt takes some of the gauze out and cleans his wound. When he is done, Matt just smiles at David “That’s it, we can take him to the vet tomorrow morning, Tom won’t mind if we get a little late at work…” He closes the kit and puts it back on its place

“Good” David smiles as he looks down at Matt “He can sleep with me tonight then, if I let him loose he’ll run away…” He shrugs and Matt smiles “What?” David asks

“So we’re gonna keep him?” He asks excitedly and David rolls his eyes

“Maybe” He says and Matt jumps happily “I’ll think about it” He says walking back to his room, the cat still on his hands “Now you go to sleep and think if you deserve this…” He says laughing and Matt nods

“Will do!” He says as he sees David leaving again.


	19. February 20th, 2017

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so insanely sorry (again) for all the delay again, been fighting some writing demons lately lol

Toni has her skateboard already in her hands as she leaves school, Paul stayed back to talk to a friend and said he would see her at home. She starts running to jump on skateboard until a voice calls her and she stops, looking back.

Shawn is waving at her; he has fast steps while trying to reach her “You think we could go out for that cup of coffee right now?” He asks out of breath

“Hm, yeah, sure” Toni smiles and he nods, he starts following her as she walks down the street “There’s a Starbucks near my house, you mind if we go there?”

“Sure” Shawn nods, he tries to make a joke or two, but Toni can only awkwardly laugh at them. It doesn’t take more than five minutes for them to get there after awkward silence, Toni takes a deep breath, knowing Frank will be inside and somehow, also feeling relieved that if Shawn makes any move on her she will have someone to excuse to be with and maybe to comfort her afterwards.

They both walk in and Toni looks up as soon as the door closes, she looks over to the register, Frank sees her and gives her a smile and a small wave.

“Look who it is!” They hear another voice and look over to the couch by the door, where Dylan is seating with his denim jacket and Nike shoes. He gets up, walking to Toni and Shawn “I didn’t expect to see couple of the year here…”

“We’re not here together” Toni says quickly

“We came in together” Shawn voices out

“But not as a couple” Toni adds again, Shawn shifts on his place awkwardly.

“I see” Dylan smirks at them “No, no need to say anything, there’s no reason to give any excuses. I know now what Shawn meant when he said I should stay away from you…”

“We’re just hanging out, dude, this means nothing" Toni breaks out, pointing between the two of them

“It means nothing?” Shawn asks “Why are you giving him any satisfaction by the way”

“I am not shoving him away by telling him I have something with a guy when I don’t” Toni protests. Frank looks up from his register and turns to one of his coworkers, asking to replace him for a moment. Frank walks up to them and shadows over Toni’s back

“Is everything okay?” Her bandmate asks and Toni turns, quickly looking at him

“Frank, stay out of this, go back to work, I’ll be there in a minute” Toni tells him and goes back to the discussion

“Who are you?” Dylan pratically spits at Frank, who just stands there, wanting to leave so badly. 

Frank opens his mouth, but Toni cuts him off “He’s my friend and bandmate, _leave him_ alone” She spits back at Dylan

“You need her to defend you, huh?“ Dylan smirks at Frank, who gulps dryly behind her.

“She told you to let it be, Dylan” Shawn says and Dylan reaches out towards Toni, wanting to put his hand on her waist but she pulls back

“Don’t fucking touch me!”

Dylan tries it again

“She said not to touch her!” Frank grits his teeth, placing himself between Toni and Dylan, all three of them look at him surprised “You lay one finger on her and I will be the end of you”

“Wow, so tough” Dylan laughs “What are you gonna do? Hit me with a croissant?”

“I…” Frank stops, but Dylan only frowns at him “What are you looking at?”

Dylan takes a step back and looks at Frank, thinking a little “Aren’t you the weird girl from the wooden house down the street? The one that nobody ever sees and shit?” He says and smirks, Frank's breathing hitches and Toni's teeth grit

"I... I'm not..." Frank stutters

“Who do you think you are, you freak?" Toni's fist closes "Stay away you lesbi…” From then on it is automatic when her knuckles hits his cheek and Dylan falls to the ground

“Holy shit!” Frank yells as he pulls Toni away from him and she brings a hand up to her mouth, not believing in what she just did. Shawn gasps loudly and helps Frank to pull her away.

Dylan puts a hand over his cheek and looks up at her from the ground, anger in his eyes as he tries to stand up “I get it now” He says shaking his head “You lesbians have fun…”

“You leave now and never come back, you hear me?!” Frank yells at him, leaving Toni to Shawn “You are forbidden to come into the store!”

“Not like it’s going to change anything!” Dylan spits out looking at Toni “See you at school!” He says before throwing away his coffee and leaving the store, escorted by the security guard, who gives Frank a look before nodding and heading out.

Frank takes a deep breath and looks over to Toni “What the heck did you do?!?” Frank asks, gesturing with his arms, untying his green apron off himself, Shawn lets go of her when Frank walks over again

“He was being an asshole, Frank!” Toni shouts, pointing out the door “You think I was just going to stare and let him say shit about you?!?”

“Since when do you care this much?” Frank asks with anger in his voice as well “You don’t need to stand up for me!”

“You don’t need to stand up for me either!” Toni shouts back, rubbing her knuckles that are beggining to get red and swollen. 

“So why did you in the first place?” Frank says

“Because I care about you, you idiot!” Toni yells back and Frank’s expression’s soften at her change of tone. Shawn’s eyes widen and Toni takes a deep breath when she realizes what she just said “Because you are my best friend and because we’re bandmates and I really really really care about you”

“I… I should leave” Shawn says while pointing at the front door

“No, stay” Toni stops him from leaving, Shawn nods at her and she looks ove to the security guard eyeing her from behind his back “Now excuse me I need to be escorted out…” She tells Frank quietly as the Security Guard beholds her, walking outside the store with her “I’ll see you at your house later”

Shawn walks out of the store with her and Frank just observes confused, his head racing out of his mind.

Toni sits at the ledge of the stairs by the front of the store, she buries her face in her hands and tries to calm herself down. Shawn sighs and sits down by her side, placing a hand on her back, trying to comfort her.

“What the heck did I just do?!?” She asks to herself “I will never be able to come here again and see Frank and I just…” Toni looks up, staring out into the street “Worst part is that I don’t regret it”

“Well, you shouldn’t” Shawn chuckles “You like him”

“What?” Toni turns over to her ex “I… I don’t! Okay? I cannot like him!”

“You said the same thing about me, dude” He laughs “You like him and it’s alright”

Toni sighs and shakes her head to herself 

“I actually invited you over because I still like you, Toni” Shawn breathes out, Toni sighs and looks over to him, staring into his eyes “But I see you’ve moved on, and…” He sighs again and smiles at her “And I couldn’t be happier for you that you did”

“I did not move on!”

“So you still like me?” Shawn raises an eyebrow and she looks at him confused

“I can’t do anything about this, Shawn” She exclaims “He is my bandmate! What if I screw this up, which I probably will?”

“Has that ever stopped anyone before?” He shrugs and Toni looks over to him again, she sighs to herself and shakes her head, burying it between her hands again.

***

Tom had woken up early that morning, he had gone for a motorcycle ride with David and then they both went to work, he came back home and threw his things around the bedroom. He took a nice, long shower and went to bed, sleep a little before tidying things up. He woke up a few hours later, with a face on top of his, a grown man fully lying on top of him like a cat

“Hi there sleeping beauty!” Jim exclaims happily, Tom sits up and rubs his eyes “How is my li…” He starts, but he is interrupted by Tom’s mouth on top of his “Woah, what’s this?” Jim asks out of breath as Tom moves to kiss his neck

“I just… Missed you” Tom whispers with lust on his voice as he reaches into Jim’s pants

“Woah, woah!” Jim laughs as he pushes Tom away, climbing out of bed “What are you doing?”

“I want to suck your dick, but your pants are in the way…” Tom chuckles as he crawls closer to the edge of the bed. Jim steps back

“Just give me a second, for the love of God, Tom!” Jim laughs, closing his zipper again

“But…”

“You’re always horny, I know!” Jim smiles and gets up “I’ll be back in a sec” He says running into the bathroom and locking the door behind himself, he knows that Tom being sneaky the way he is he could just stood and walk into him without invitation.

Tom sits back on the bed. Jim comes back after a few minutes, eagerly kissing Tom, they have sex which, as always, blows both of them out of their minds. Tom takes a deep breath as he snuggles onto Jim’s neck when they’re done; he smiles and kisses his boyfriend’s scorpion tattoo. Tom looks away just slightly when Jim wraps an arm around him.

“What?” Jim asks, looking into Tom’s brown eyes

“Did I hurt you?” Tom asks worried

Jim laughs “No” He shakes his head “It was perfect like it always is, alright?” Jim asks as he places a hand on Tom’s cheek, cupping it. Tom smiles up at him “You look sunburned, did you go to the beach today?”

“Yeah, David and I went out to ride motorcycles and then we went to the boardwalk just to catch some sun…” Tom explains tiredly

“Okay, just wait here, okay?” Jim climbs off the bed, he goes into the bathroom and coming back with a tiny bottle of lotion on his hand, Tom smiles at the sight as the younger man pours some on him

“Always careful, you are” Tom laughs

“Of course” Jim smiles, leaving a tiny kiss on the small of Tom’s back “If I don’t take care of you, who will?”

“Good point” Tom smiles again and he bites his own lip before leaning in to kiss his boyfriend. Tom kisses him deeper and shifts to stand on top of him, his fingers dance lightly on Jim’s stomach and Jim pulls away as Tom moves on to kiss the other side of his neck.

“God, Tom, you’re hard already?” Jim laughs

“Come on” Tom purrs into his ear “I’ll let you do whatever you want to me”

“Whatever I want, huh?” Jim asks surprised and Tom nods, biting on his earlobe “Can… Can we eat something first and later we think about sex?” Jim asks as he gets up and tries to find his underwear on the floor “Where are my boxers?” He asks and Tom lifts the quilt, looking quickly and pulling it out from underneath, handing it to Jim “Thanks” He says as he takes it.

“You wanna eat?” Tom asks perplexed, Jim walks closer and takes him by the hand, pulling him away from bed.

“We can eat and then take a nice, long shower or a bath…“ Jim says and Tom nods interested “And then watch a movie under that cozy quilt you like… What do you think?” Jim asks innocently with a smirk and Tom wraps both arms around his shoulders

“Well, you know I do like my cozy quilt” Tom smiles

“Of course”

“But what about the part where you fuck me?” Tom bites his lip and looks at Jim

Jim smiles lightly “The part where I fuck you?” He asks interested and Tom nods and plays with his hair “Why do you wanna be fucked so bad lately?”

“I just do” Tom says and moves to lick Jim’s earlobe, Jim laughs and pulls Tom away

“Come on, let’s eat” He says and shakes his head “Something that is not your ass”

***

The wooden house by the end of the street seems very quiet today, more than usual, especially after everything that had happened; Frank and Toni are sitting at the garage floor while Megan is on the couch reading a Batman comic as they waited for Jared to arrive for rehearsal. Toni has a few blank sheets of paper in front of her as Frank is just drawing, focusing on his own piece of art and ignoring both her stares and the hisses she made from the pain in her hand.

Frank takes the light blue marker and does a few sketches as she just watches with the yellow one in her hand, cap off.

“Toni, you cap that or it’s going to go dry” Megan voices out without looking up from her book, Frank still does not look up either

“Oh” Toni says as her smile wears off from her daydream, she immediately brushes off the awkwardness and caps the pen before taking another long look at Frank “I’m… I’m… gonna go grab some water, is that okay?” She asks getting up

“Sure, do what you want…” Megan looks up and smiles at her, before looking down to her book again. Toni eyes Frank and sighs to his drawing which seems to be a dragon. She nods at Megan and heads inside, she knows her way to the kitchen already so she goes without much trouble, she opens the fridge and takes out a bottle of water, although she scans the fridge a while longer

“What do you think you’re doing?” A small voice asks from behind her and she jumps when she sees a tattooed guy sitting on the island with a MacAir, glasses, beard and a cap on his hairless head.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I was just… I… I’m really hungry” Toni explains awkwardly, trying to laugh a little at the end “Megan said I could so I was going to but I wouldn’t tell her because that would be awkward and I promise I am not always this aloof, oh my god” She tells the guy really fast, out of breath towards the end, he laughs. “Travis, right?” Toni asks pointing at him “Or should I call you Mr. Howard?” She walks up a little closer, feeling shy and awkward

Travis smiles and shakes her head “I’m not Mr. Howard, I’m Mr. Barker. But call me Travis, that’s how I introduced myself to you the other day, wasn’t it?” He chuckles in a quiet voice and Toni nods “I’m Megan and Frank’s uncle, mother side. I’m their legal tutor”

Toni nods with him “Yeah, Frank told me…”

Travis opens his mouth surprised “I see” He nods “So… If you’re here how come practice hasn’t started yet?” Travis asks as he pulls out a chair for her “Come sit with me, let me get to know you…”

Toni looks at him a bit skeptical

“I don’t bite, I swear” Travis raises his hand in a promise and she moves over as he keeps typing on his computer “So… Band practice?” He tries to get her to answer his question

“Oh, hm, actually we’re waiting for the fourth member to arrive” Toni explains as she sits down by his side

“I see” Travis nods and turns to her, frowining when he looks at her water bottle “What happened to your hand?” He asks

“I...?” Toni starts as she looks at it “I got into a fight earlier today”

“How?” Travis laughs, taking a look at her red knuckles that were a bit swollen now

“Just... This kid was bugging Frank and I at Starbucks so I punched him”

Travis smiles as he looks at her surprised “You punched him?”

Toni sighs and nods “I certainly did”

“Do I wanna know?” Travis frowns and Toni shakes her head 

“Frank will tell you if he wants to” Toni explains and Travis nods

“Sounds cool to me” He says “What’s your name, again? I’m sorry” Travis asks, shaking his head, turning to her

“Toni” She tells him “Toni Hoppus”

Travis smiles and looks at her “Hoppus, huh?” He asks and Toni nods “Well, I met a Hoppus once; he was also in a band back in my days. Haven’t heard from him in twenty years though” Travis smiles “I miss a lot of people from my gang”

Toni frowns “My dad was in a band, they broke up in 94” Toni explains

“Not your dad, girl. This kid was gay” Travis smiles and shakes his head “He had a boyfriend and everything” Travis then stops “You’re not adopted are you?”

Toni shakes her head

“Yeah, not your dad”

“Well, actually my dad did have a boyfriend before having me” Toni smiles “His name’s Mark”

Travis laughs “Oh my God! It is your dad!” He smiles turning back to her “How is he? How is he doing?”

Toni laughs and nods “He’s fine, I guess, he’s a writer now”

“Awesome! Wait, so you know that your dad had a boyfriend?”

Toni shrugs “Long story”

He nods “I see”

“I’m gonna ask him about you”

“Nah, don’t worry, he probably doesn’t even remember me…” Travis sighs

“Don’t be so sure” Toni says taking a sip out of her water “Dad can remember amazing things from his band days…”

Travis laughs “So, I guess you’re a bassist?”

Toni shakes her head “Vocals, but I do guitar as well”

Travis nods “That’s interesting”

“I mean, I know dad did vocals too but I like focusing on it a little bit more” She explains “I have a more soft way to sing, I hope I get to learn more, I really think I have what it takes for higher notes, you know?”

Travis looks at her challenging, “Voice is something that you learn over with practice” He tells her “I can hook you up with an instructor if you want...”

Toni smiles, but shakes her head “I am not really looking for having lessons right now, but thanks!” She laughs “Gonna be a whiny singer for now”

“Your dad had potential for a good voice, you know?” Travis continues “He sang off key sometimes, but auto-tune is here nowadays, so not all hope would be lost. You dad could have been a singer if he wanted and if he waited a few more years”

Toni sighs “Yeah, I think the same”

“His boyfriend was a whiny singer though” Travis laughs, taking a gulp from his water bottle and shaking his head “No modern auto-tune could save him”

“You mean Tom?” She smiles amused on how well Travis knows them

“Yeah” Travis nods “You know Tom?”

“Sure” Toni shrugs and Travis chuckles, but then they hear the garage door opening. “That must be Jared” She explains “I better go to rehearse” Toni gets up and takes her bottle with her. Travis takes one last look at her before she’s almost at the door

“You were right” He calls her back

“About what?” Toni asks frowning

“About not being one of them awkwards” He says and she smiles

“I really was” She smiles and leaves

Travis smiles to himself as soon as she’s gone.

***

It is a late day at the Strange Times office, Matt is already asleep on the couch while David is on the computer when Tom walks in, having two mugs of coffee on his hands. David looks up and smiles tiredly

“Hey” He says as Tom hands him the cup “Thanks” David says as he takes a sip from it

“How is everything going?” Tom asks

“Oh it’s fine” David says with a dismissingly hand “I’m just running late on these things Katherine asked me to do, Matt is just waiting on me to go home…” he explains “What are you still doing here?”

“Thinking about my existence?” Tom asks and David nods

“Sounds like something you would be doing here at this hour…” He says and Tom chuckles a bit sad “But you should go home to Jim, you know?”

“I should” Tom sighs “I… I kind of wanted to ask you a favor before I left”

“Sure, what’s up?”

“I want you to buy a painting” Tom says and David frowns “I mean, for me…”

“A painting?”

“Yes a painting”

“For you?”

“Yes, for me”

“Why don’t you do it?”

“Because!” Tom whines “Because I don’t want the person I’m buying it from to know I am the one buying it, I mean… He’s a fan…”

“Oh, I see” David nods “Sure, man”

“I’ll give you the money”

“No problem” David laughs and grabs a pen and a random piece of paper from his desk “What is it?”

“Pretty in Pink, by Matt Skiba” Tom tells him and David nods as he scribbles it down “It’s on the Roosvelt right now…”

“It’s okay, I got this” David smiles “I’ll ask them to send to my house, just to throw them off…”

“Great!” Tom smiles “Thank you so much, Dave”

“You’re welcome” David smiles and pats Tom on the shoulder


	20. March 24th, 2017

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, oficially halfway through the story, time goes by way too fast. Brace yourselves
> 
> And I'm sorry for what is like the 794th Gilmore Girls reference in here

Frank plugs off his guitar and places it back on its stand by the corner of the garage. He stares at it, being blue and beautiful, he draws a little smile onto his face and turns around to see Toni hooking off her guitar as well and Jared sitting at the couch. Megan is still catching her breath behind the drumkit. 

"Hey, you guys wanna go to a party?" Jared asks as he gets up "Some kids I go to college with are throwing a party on campus, you guys can tag along..."

"College party?" Megan looks up and gets up "I'm in" She walks closer and nudges Frank's side "Come on baby brother, let's go"

"I'm not sure I want to go" Frank shrugs a bit shy

"Well, Megan and I are underage, would that be okay?"

Jared squints his eyes at Toni and nods "Everyone there will be underage except for me and Frank, kid" he laughs

"Sounds cool then" Toni rolls her eyes "I'm in too"

"If everyone is going I guess I'll tag along then" Frank blurs out as he looks over at Toni 

"Awesome" Jared smiles "Let's all go in my car and ya'll can take Ubers back"

Megan and Toni smile before Megan drags on pulling her brother's hand. 

***

Tom looks around his office before leaving back to his home that day. It was late already, around nine in the night. “Have a nice night, Tom” David sighs as he goes through the reception to leave, Matt follows him and yawns into his own hand, stretching himself and David laughs, wrapping an arm around his roommate`s shoulder “Come on, buddy” David tells him quietly “Let’s get you to bed…”

“This is why we should always take my car to work instead of your motorcycle…” Matt closes his eyes and lets his head fall into the side of David’s tall body

“Of course” David brushes hair out of the smaller one’s face “See you tomorrow, Tom”

“See you” Tom smiles as the both of them leave the office, he stays in and looks around, seeing everything he had built up his entire life, he feels his stomach churning up as he walks closer to the picture wall on the waiting room. He looks and sees a few pictures, in one he is in the middle of the desert with Elise and Toni was up on his back, playing with his hair.

Tom smiles, he pulls out the picture and looks at it with a heartfelt smile, the one on top of that is him and Mark sitting on his office, both behind his desk, side by side. Mark has got the most satisfied smile as he looked at Tom showing his files excitedly. Tom puts the picture of Toni and Elise and places it back on the wall, he grabs his messenger bag and sighs at the wall before leaving the office.

Tom arrives home later in the night; he drops his motorbike keys into the jar by the door and rubs a hand on his face. Slowly, he starts taking off his jacket and his hat, leaving them by the coat hanger. He walks into the house and turns on the lights in the kitchen, getting surprised to see Jim sitting at the table, a perplexed look on his face with his phone in his hand and his computer in front of him, just its lighting hitting the younger one`s face. He quickly looks at Tom and sighs “Hi… Tom” He says skeptically

Tom frowns “You look so pale, babe. What are you doing here alone in the dark?” He reaches for a glass of water from the fridge. He then sits by Jim’s side and wraps an arm around his boyfriend’s neck “Is everything okay? Did something happen?” He asks carefully

Jim places his phone on the table carefully and shrugs “Sort of”

“Is it bad?” Tom asks

“I’m… I’m not sure…?”

“How come?”

“Well… Hm? I just got a job offer in Italy!” Jim says with light in his eyes, looking at Tom emotionally

Tom chuckles “Jim, that is great! Congratulations!” Tom hugs his boyfriend and leaves kisses all over his face

“So you’re not mad?” Jim asks looking into Tom’s eyes

“I’m happy that you got it, but… Are you really planning on going?” Tom asks, frowning when he realizes that Jim would have to move away. It downs to him.

Jim sighs “Yes, I… I actually am. This is a great opportunity, Tom. I’m going to receive three times what I get here! That with monetary correction in already”

“Wow” Tom says sadly “So, that means that…” Jim nods

“Well, hm, you can always come if you want!” Jim tells him, smiling and grabbing into the collar of Tom`s shirt “We could live together there, wouldn’t that be fun?”

Jim has an amazed look in his eyes, he looks at Tom adoringly and raises a hand to cup Tom`s cheek, but Tom pulls back from him, taking a better look at the younger man “You’re not serious, are you?” He asks and frowns.

“Why not?” Jim chuckles “I love you, Tom. I want you to share this with me!”

“What about Strange Times?”

“You can take Strange Times there, it’s not a problem if you think about it, really. Plus, you’re always the one saying it would be nice to leave America… You, you could use this time to write more, and maybe research more, how about that?”

“Yes, but I have my crew” Tom gets up “I have my mom, I have…” Tom sighs “San Diego is where all my roots are! What about…” He starts but trails off, shaking his head “When I say that it would be nice and that maybe I even think about it, but not that I actually consider doing it…” Tom explains

“Yes, but it can be only for a time…” Jim says getting up as well “I remember how happy you were in Italy and how romantic that was and imagine having that every day, huh?” He says and gets closer to Tom, holding his hands “Wouldn’t that be neat?”

Tom sighs, he looks at Jim, light headed. How could he ever say no to those gorgeous young brown eyes looking at him?

“You know I’m going anyway, right?” Jim explains, “I’ve been waiting for a shot like this my entire life, Tom…”

“When do you leave?” Tom asks, trying not to look at Jim, trying not to show how hurt he is.

“In two weeks” Jim says, “It’s the time I should get my visa…” Tom nods, he takes Jim’s hand up to his lips and kisses it “How are you feeling?”

“Not fine” Tom shakes his head “I’m not going, Jimmy” He then sighs, “I’m sorry”

Jim looks at him perplexed “But… Why?”

Tom takes a breath and takes a hold of both Jim’s hands “Honey, I… You are so young, alright? Don’t hold yourself down for me, okay? You’re a gorgeous, gorgeous boy who’s so amazing, don’t keep yourself for an old freak like me” Tom chuckles sadly, still looking deep into his boyfriend`s eyes “I have so many issues, I have so many strings attatched and I wasn’t able to overcome a lot of emotional problems in my life, I mean, I earn money by being a weirdo!” Tom squeezes Jim’s hands, whose eyes are welling up a little “None of this is your fault, kid, it’s just that… I belong here; this is my home, Jim”

Jim sighs and nods

“We’re not soulmates, and you know that. We’re just two people attracted to each other and who love one another, but we both know this can’t last forever…”

Jim nods slightly, he looks up, trying to not spill any tears out of his eyes “I just… I just thought it would last longer than this, somehow…”

Tom gives him a sad smile “Me too, I don’t want it to end so soon. I really like you, Jim. You know how much I love you”

“Me too, Tom” Jim smiles and hugs Tom, who openly hugs him back

“I…” Tom starts, pulling away “Do you mind if I go out for a quick ride?”

“Hm” Jim frowns “Are you gonna do anything stupid?”

“Just gonna buy ice cream” Tom tries to make up an excuse “You want some?”

“Sure” Jim answers a bit confused

“Good” Tom awkwardly says as he places a kiss on Jim’s forehead, turning away and leaving out the door without looking back. Tom steps out of the house and doesn’t mind to take a look at Jim’s reaction, for some reason he just really needs to get out of there at that moment.

Tom gets back into his motorcycle and starts the engine; he drives out and away from his street racing fast, already knowing his way to his destination. He parks the motorcycle on the lawn of the house where a Jeep and a motorcycle are parked. Tom walks up to the front door and knocks.

He stands there for about three minutes and no one answers, so he decides to knock again, and again, and again, and again…

“WHAT?” David practically screams at Tom’s face as he opens the door of the house “What the fuck, Tom? It’s one in the morning!”

“Jim broke up with me” Tom says simply and David draws in a sharp breath, closing his eyes tiredly

“Oh no” He says and shakes his head

“Dave?” A heavy, deep and tired voice says from inside the house, David turns around and sees Matt in the living room, a tired look on his face and his eyes as he wraps himself around a blanket “What is going on?” He asks confused as he walks up to the front door

“It’s just Tom” David pulls Matt into a hug, wrapping the blanket tighter around the smaller man

“Did something happen?” Matt asks worriedly

“Jim broke up with me” Tom says again “He’s moving to Italy…”

Matt sighs and wraps his arm around David’s waist, using the taller guy for support out of his tiredness “Come on in” He tells Tom, reaching out for his hand and pulling his boss and long-time friend inside “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Tom shyly nods and Matt gets away from David’s grip, closing the door after Tom.

“Go to the kitchen then, I’ll meet you there…” He says and Tom nods, walking away from them. “You can go to bed, Dave” Matt tells the taller guy “I’ll take care of him”

“But you’re half asleep already” David chuckles “Why are you doing this anyway?”

“Because it’s the same you did for me…” Matt blurs out and David smiles down at him

“Alright, we’ll stay up together then” David leads Matt to the kitchen where Tom was waiting for them.

David and Matt both walk inside, Tom is sitting at the table with the cat already on his arms “Who is this precious thing?” Tom asks with a faint smile as the cat purrs onto his lap

“That’s Julio” Matt smiles “We found him wounded in the backyard so now he lives with us”

“You guys got a cat together?!” Tom frowns, looking at David

“It’s not like we have him together…” Matt shrugs

“Yeah, it’s just a cat that lives under the same roof that we do…” David explains

“Yeah, that’s right, but it’s not ours, or something…” Matt rolls his eyes and Tom squints his, nodding at their observations

“I see…” Tom says

“So…” Matt snaps back to reality again as both he and David sit across the table from Tom “Tell us what happened”

Tom takes a deep breath and shakes his head “Jim got a job offer out of the country and he’s going… He leaves in like two weeks” Tom shrugs

“God, that is really soon” Matt breathes out and Tom nods

“He invited me to go with him”

“But you are not going, right?” David asks as his eyes widen and Tom shakes his head

“I cannot leave! I have Strange Times”

“We can take care of Strange Times” David says

“I have Sally”

“Sally can go with you” Matt points out

“I… I have my family, I…”

“What family?” Matt frowns

“Well, my mom and… And Shon...” Tom continues “And I cannot leave Mark and the kids hanging dry, of course”

“Of course you cannot” David smirks and Tom looks up at him “When was the last time you saw your mom? Or Shon?” Tom sighs and looks down at his hands “You do not want to leave because of Mark and the kids, Tom. That is old news” David rolls his eyes and gets up, walking up to the fridge

“In the back of your mind, you hope something” Matt breathes out and Tom looks at him “It is the same thing Mark felt when you started dating Jim, you know?”

“Yes, I know, but… Am I staying because I care about Jim's future, or am I staying because I am running after something that isn`t even there?” Tom explains “The three of us know that even if I stay, Mark and I will continue the same, we know nothing is ever gonna change, even if we want, something will always get in the way…”

“Tom, you know that the relationship Mark and you have is complicated…” David pipes in "You have to think what's best for him. If he wants you to sweep him off his feet at this place in his life"

Matt nods “I agree, when it happens between you two, if it does… It has to be perfect Tom, and both of you need to be sure of what are your feelings. You both need to be sure of what your desires are and what you want from one another”

“Should I tell him what I feel then?” Tom frowns confused but Matt and David shake their heads

“Buddy, give yourself some time, alright?” David explains “Appreciate the time you still have with Jim and then give yourself a little bit more space and try talking to Mark, see what’s up on his head and if you’re not making a blind move just looking at your own feelings…”

Tom nods as David hands him a cup of coffee

“Come on, let's make a slumber party out of this” He pats Tom on the shoulder, making the man get up. Tom only smiles, silently thanking his friends.

***

Toni stumbles over at the party, a kid by her side reaches out and holds her by the arm before she falls flat on the floor "Oh, Thanks!" She laughs and the kid nods, also a bit tipsy, though Toni was heading after her fourth beer already. She proceeds to walk over to the cooler where an older man is sorting out cans. He gives her a good look from his six feet down to her, head to toe, she just smiles at him, hoping that it'll convince him to give her the drink. In the end, he gives in with a puff of his breath.

"How old are you?" He asks

"21" Toni says casually and he gives her a look "Minus four"

The man laughs as he picks up a beer, handing it to her "That shit is gonna kill you"  

"Then that's the way I want to go, can you make it two?"

The man sighs again and grabs her another one

"Thanks!" Toni turns around and walks back to where she and Megan were talking just a few moments before, only to see that Megan is now sitting on top of a guy on a couch not that much far from there, eating his face off.

"Seems like someone got left behind, huh?" She hears someone ask from behind her and Jared is standing there when she turns around, a red cup on his hand 

"Well, that was her plan all along anyway" Toni shrugs as she starts walking away with her bandmate "You want this?" She asks as she shows him the second can, which is still closed

"No, thanks, I got this from the tap" Jared points at his own cup 

"More for me then" Toni opens one and puts the second under her arm, holding it there. Jared laughs "Where is Frank? Haven't seen him since we got here"

"He was hanging with me but he just disappeared after his second beer, haven't seen him since" Jared explains "I think I saw him by the tap though, you should check there"

"Okay" Toni nods "Thanks" She says as she walks away, Toni looks around for her friend but isn't able to find him and all of that in the time it takes her to finish both beers. She stumbles onto a few girls who are dancing and who draw her in, and she is altered enough at this point to start dancing with them as they chant songs in spanish, to which she knows a bit from grandparents, but she doesn't recognize any of the songs. It doesn't stop her though. 

She gets out from the dancing circle after some twenty minutes, the alcohol that was in her shaken up. Toni stumbles over to the keg this time, grabbing herself a red cup on the way and filling it up on the tap. Toni looks around and walks back into the party and back to the girls she was dancing with before, her eyes focus on Frank when she sees him sitting on the floor with a red cup on his hand. 

Toni sighs before she walks over, standing in front of him and disrupting him from his thoughts as he looks up to her. 

"Hey" She breathes out "Is something wrong?" Toni frowns as she kneels in front of him "Are you feeling sick, or something?"

"No, I... I'm just super drunk already and I'm becoming sad-drunk somehow" Frank explains, looking down at his cup again.

"Sad?" Toni wonders, moving to sit by his side "Why?"

"I don't know" Frank shrugs "But I think I'm gonna get sick soon"

"Do you want to leave?" Toni asks concerned, but Frank smiles at her before shaking his head 

"Good!" Toni laughs "I wouldn't have let you anyway... Come on, let's get you some more beer and we'll go dance..." She explains to him as she gets up, taking his hand and pulling him with her

"Dance?" Frank raises an eyebrow

"Yeah, these girls are chanting some latin music and it has been real fun" Toni explains to him. Frank smiles and nods, hearing her giggle at his yes, his eyes focusing on the way she holds his hand as they walk further into the party and he can't help but take another deep breath, this time a butterfly-ey one. They both get closer to the keg and Toni refils Frank's cup, handing it back to him. She goes back to dancing and he follows her, falling completely distinguished in the group. "Come on!" Toni whines as she grabs his arms, trying to make him dance "Let's turn that sad drunk into fun drunk!"

Frank grins and shakes his head "I'll try"

Toni just smiles and a girl comes over, rubbing her ass against Toni

Toni joins and Frank laughs. 

***

"Gosh, I'm really drunk" Toni chuckles as she leans on a table, the party is now ceasing and just a few people are drinking scattered around the room. 

"Are you okay?" Frank asks as he leans in by her side "Do you need me to take you home?" He voices out but stumbles onto her, she has a quick reflex and holds on to him, helping him stand afterwards

"You seem like the one who needs help" Toni smiles "I'll be fine, we can share an Uber, would that be cool?"

"Yeah, sure" Frank tells her, the words slurring out of his lips as he leans on her, holding on to her for support "Can I tell you something?"

"Sure" Toni shrugs 

"You are super nice and really cool" Frank tells her earnestly

Toni chuckles "Thanks" She slurs out as well "You're really cool too and you deserve lots and lots of love, Frank"

"Thank you!" Frank laughs, but then something starts buzzing on their ears, Frank tries to stand and picks up his phone from his jeans pants's pocket, looking at the screen "It's Travis"

"Did you tell him you were out?"

"Yeah, I guess he's just worried, it's late already" Frank says as he picks it up "Heeeeey, T-money! What's uuup? Banging on the drums"

 _"What?_ " Travis asks confused from the other end _"Where are you?"_

Frank laughs, leaning in on Toni again "Just on my way to pick up a whore"

"Oh my God..." Toni breathes out "Give me the phone!"

Frank just looks at her, but he doesn't question _"Frank?"_ Toni can hear Travis calling him from afar as he hands her the phone.

"Trav... Trav, let me explain something to you" Toni starts as she tries to begin her speech, shaking her head as she puts her words on together "Frank... Frank is here with me and he's real drunk, he... he just drank too much, but... But I'm taking care of him" She points at her own chest, even though Travis can't see it "Because I'm real responsible and real big, okay? I mean, If I can pass up as a grown up at a party, I can have my own band and I can drink, alright?" She asks

 _"Hm"_ Travis hums at the other end _"Are you okay, kid?"_

"I can make my own life decisions like an adult!"

"You did not pass up as a grown up" Frank tells her and Toni shoves him playfully 

"Shut up, Frank. Neither you do and you're not even underage anymore!"

Travis frowns confused at the other end _"What is happening? You didn't tell me if you're okay..."_

"Sure! I mean, I am bit drunk, but I'm stable! I can drive Frank and Megan back home!"

 _"Toni, you don't drive"_  

"Yes, I do! I will beat you on Mario Kart, alright?"

 _"Do you want me to go pick up you guys?"_ Travis asks concerned

"We'll be fiiiiiiiine! I promise. I mean, I am gonna take care of Frank like no one has ever treated him before because that's what he deserves" Toni says and Frank laughs "And he's a sweetheart and he deserves all things good so I am taking care of him and I am dropping him home because I really care about him"

"Hm, okay" Travis nods at the other end "Just give me a call if you need anything"

"Sure" Toni smiles before she hangs up and hands Frank's phone back to him.

Frank finishes laughing and puts the phone back on his pocket, he climbs on the table behind them and Toni sighs as she grabs her beer again and continues to drink it "I can't believe you're still drinking?"

"Why? Is it bad?" She asks and rolls her eyes, Frank can only shake his head. He looks down to his hands, suddenly upset 

"What's wrong?" Toni asks "You don't sound too happy anymore"

"Can I ask you something?" Frank wonders

"Of course" Toni shrugs

"Are... Are you really going to college?" Toni frowns, she looks over to him and moves to stand in front of him as he sits on top of the table. Toni looks at him and he sighs before looking down at his hands "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked that"

"No, it's..." Toni chuckles and shakes her head "Why are you asking me that?"

Frank looks up, biting on his lip "Are you gonna leave the band? Are you gonna be our Dave Rygalski?"

"What??" Toni chuckles again

"No, of course to be Dave Rygalsky you would have to date someone in the band"

"Frank, first, stop with the Gilmore Girls references for a bit, and second, I really do not want to talk about this, at least not right now... You know how the college talk really bums me out..." Toni breathes out, placing a hand on her forehead "I'm too drunk for that. And third, Dave Rygalski went to college because Adam Brody had to leave the show!"

"But why? I mean, does it really have to be an issue? Why are you making this harder than it is?" Frank asks a bit outraged now, Toni frowns at his sudden overblown reaction "And don't blame this on The OC" He adds more quietly

"Frank! This is not my choice! I am not choosing to have all these doubts and worries, alright? You think I want them?" Toni shouts as she faces him, Frank's eyes now turn soft, subtle "I do not wake up every morning and wonder 'hm how can I make my bandmates worry that everything isn't going to be dead tomorrow'!!!" Toni shouts and takes a deep breath "And The OC was a shitty show!"

"It was not!"

"Yes it is all the characters are fucking bland!"

"Can't you just make a decision?!"

"It's not that easy!"

"You don't even want to go to college!"

"Yes, I don't! But both my parents went to college! My dad works his ass out to guarantee us this future! It's my own choice and you have no right in telling me how I feel about this!" Toni shouts again, she breathes out exausted. Frank looks at her, he frowns, noticing what he has said to her. 

"I... I know I don't" He says looking down at his hands "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that..."

"No, don't worry, I... I'm gonna go try to find Megan" Toni looks around, turning away and walking further into the room, looking for her friend. 

"Toni, I... I'm really sorry!" Frank tries to follow her as they step outside "I didn't mean to impose that on you! I... I'm just scared!"

"Well, I'm scared too!" Toni shouts at him, not slowing her steps as she walks around the pool edge "It is my future anyway!"

"It's mine too!" 

"Oh, please! You're the nephew to Travis fucking Barker! One of the top ten drummers in the contemporary world! You only need to fucking blink to get anything in the industry!"

"You know that is not how these things work, right? Do you know how much bullshit I can get from this?" Frank asks "I want you there with me, Toni! You have the wit of two teenagers in the california sun singing about incest and sodomy, the drive of a lion and the experience of someone who had to grow up too fast... I am none of these things, Toni! I am a child, the main pilar of my parenthood wasn't in my life until I was sixteen! I... I need you!"

"Why? So I can punch every transphobe that comes our way for you?" 

Frank stops in his tracks and Toni notices the change behind herself, she stops as well and looks back, seeing Frank with eyes hurt

"That's not true! I can stand up for myself!" Frank objectifies "I told you that!"

"I know" Toni sighs, bringing a hand up to her forehead "I'm sorry"

Frank starts taking fast paced breaths as well, he looks at Toni with sorry eyes and walks closer

"We're both really drunk right now"

"We are" Frank continues to walk closer 

"Can we talk about this tomorrow?"

"I don't want to talk about it" Frank whispers as he stops an inch away from her, looking up into her eyes 

"What are you doing?" Toni asks quietly, her heart bursting inside her ribcage. Frank leans in and gives her a kiss on the lips, it's simple, small, quick, but it says a thousand words. He pulls back and looks into her eyes again as he steps back. 

Toni gulps dryly 

"FRANK!" They hear someone shout from behind them and they both turn around at the same time to see Megan walking up towards them, her orange hair now on a messed up bun "There you are! I had been looking everywhere for the two of you" Megan explains and both Toni and Frank look at her, not saying anything, the tension growing "Did something happen?" Megan chuckles, noticing the heavy vibe in the air. 

"Take care of him, I am leaving" Toni tells Megan as she passes through the red-head, walking away 

"We are going home too, Toni!" Megan shouts, trying to stop her

"I am not going home!" Toni yells without looking back 

"Toni, come back!" Frank voices loudly back at her, but Toni does not look back as she cleans away the tear that makes its way into her cheek, pacing up her steps and holding herself to not look back. She picks her phone out from her pocket and unlocks it, searching for the Uber app and calling one for herself, it takes three minutes for one to get there. She gets in and closes the door behind herself, the driver asks her to confirm the address. Toni ponders for a while.

"Yes, that is the address" She tells the driver and he speeds out. After about thirty minutes they reach the lawn of a house, Toni steps out and walks up to the front door, knocking, but recieving no answer. She hears a dog running inside, crying by the door "Sally girl, go wake someone up, please?" She asks by the door as she sits in front of it "Pretty please, girl" 

After some fifteen minutes of no answer, she leans her back against the door, her head back into the door. A motorcycle turns off it's engine not that far away and Toni hears footsteps on her direction, the shadow stopping in front of her. She looks up and sees the tall lanky man in his leather jacket, a concerned look on his face as his eyes pity down at her 

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Tom asks


	21. June 13th-15th, 2010

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD LIKE I AM SO SORRY!!
> 
> I actually was travelling and didn't have the proper connection to post this chapter, and I am so very deeply sorry about it. 
> 
> This is one of my favorite chapters, if not THE favorite
> 
> Please, enjoy and savor this baby I love you guys and all your support <3
> 
> Note the date

_“Fuck!” Mark yells from upstairs, Tom hears up the noise and quickly sits up on the couch downstairs, bolting up from under the sheets in a scare. He flinches when he hears the sharp heavy noise of a closing door, Tom rubs his eyes and throws his green blanket onto the floor, he hadn’t slept properly in a few nights, but he knew Mark needed to sleep more than he did._

_Tom places both feet on the floor, getting ready to fully wake up from his dreamless sleep, when Mark comes down the stairs._

_“Oh” Mark voices surprised as he reaches the first floor “You’re awake” He tells Tom_

_Tom nods “Pretty much”_

_Mark sighs “Are you tired?”_

_Tom shakes his head, lying._

_“You wanna come eat something with me?” Tom nods, getting up and following Mark into the kitchen. Mark starts taking out everything out of the fridge “You think you can go grocery shopping for me tomorrow?” He asks as Tom sits on the table “We barely have anything for the week now that Elise’s mom went back home”_

_Tom nods “Sure, man” he says “Have you eaten anything today?”_

_Mark shakes his head as he opens a tupperware with some old rice inside “God, this is disgusting” He says and turns away to throw it out_

_“Come” Tom says as he gets up “Sit down, I’ll cook you something. Something decent” He says and walks up to his friend, shoving him back towards the table, making him sit_

_“No, Tom. Don’t worry” Mark insists_

_“Mark, you haven’t slept properly in three nights. You haven’t eaten all day, just sit down and let me help you, alright?” Tom places both hands on Mark shoulders. Mark stares back into his eyes and nods weakly before letting Tom pull out a chair for him. Tom starts searching the cabinets for something and he finds a little bit of flour left._

_It had been three weeks since Elise had passed away. The first week everyone was helping them, the second, Mark and Elise’s parents were still nearby. Now it was just him and Tom, he knew people would call when it turned into a month, but the next day they would just forget he was the single dad to four kids now._

_Tom is turning on the stove when he hears a very familiar noise at this point. He turns around and sees Mark’s back facing him as he sobbed into his hands. Tom sighs and turns off the stove, pulling the chair back beside his friend, wrapping an arm around his shoulder._

_Tom caresses his back and just lets Mark cry it out; he knows Mark won’t stop feeling sad so soon. After about five minutes of constant crying, Mark looks up, not facing Tom._

_“Elise doesn’t want me talking to her” Mark thinks about his daughter “She wants something I can’t give her, Tom!” Mark exclaims “I don’t even know what she wants! I don’t know what to do! She has been rejecting me and everyone else for three weeks now!” Mark sobs even more “She even just kicked me out of her room. I mean literally, she was literally kicking me out with her feet…”_

_Tom sighs “I’ll try talking to her again tomorrow” He says, still rubbing Mark’s back_

_“It’ll be useless, you know that”_

_“It’s worth a try”_

_“Tom, I’m…" Mark sighs "I’m really hungry” He explains and Tom nods before getting up and turning to the stove again, he pulls out the pan and starts making the pancakes “What are you doing?”_

_“Chocolate chip” Tom says as he pours the liquid into the pan “Your favorite”_

_Mark chuckles, still heart-broken “Those are your favorites”_

_Tom shakes his head “But you love them too”_

_“Yeah I do” Mark smiles, but just a little “Let’s talk about something else” He starts again “How’s Elliott?”_

_Tom frowns at first, but then looks back briefly at Mark “He’s okay, he called me a little bit before I put Paul and Joe to bed” Tom explains “He said he would come by tomorrow, bring something for the kids…”_

_“He doesn’t need to bring anything…” Mark shakes his head_

_“Well, he’s not helping very much anymore so yeah, he better bring something anyway, show some compassion or at least try to” Tom laughs and shakes his head, Mark smiles “You know how I am”_

_Mark nods “I know” He sighs “I’m sorry I’m taking time off you and him. He must be feeling very lonely in that apartment”_

_Tom shrugs “I wouldn’t let you be alone right now, Mark. I might go sleep with him tomorrow though, if you don’t mind…”_

_Mark shakes his head “Of course not!” He chuckles at his best friend “I don’t want to stand between you and your boyfriend just because I couldn’t keep my dick in my pants”_

_Tom chuckles “I’ll go talk to Toni tomorrow, do your groceries so that at night I can sleep with him in my actual home and in the morning I’ll come here and do work on your computer, alright?” Tom asks and Mark smiles as Tom serves him his pancakes_

_“You don’t need to do that. You don'y need to stick"_

_“Yeah I do” Tom sits across the table from Mark “I need to cause everyone else left you” He says and Mark smiles sadly “You know I would never do that, not to you, not to Elise, not to the kids. I would do it to my own family before doing it to you guys…”_

_Mark looks down and smiles sadly before starting to eat._

_Tom wakes up the next morning around 10am; Mark is running outside with Paul in his arms, following Joe who had a pair of sharp scissors on his hand “Joe! Stop running!” Mark yells_

_“Come and get me!” Joe shouts as he kept running around the house_

_“Dad! Put me down!” Paul yells “I’m getting sick!”_

_Mark stops and sighs, placing Paul down on the floor before going back to chase his older son._ _Paul sighs sadly as he moves to sit on the couch where Tom had been sleeping for the past few weeks. Tom purses his lips and sighs before turning to the kid, who just sat there like stone. Paul doesn't look back_

_Grandma Blanca said that she might arrange things to get us a dog” Paul starts to smile to himself, talking to Tom without a question from the older man. He then turns to look into Tom's brown eyes “Wouldn’t that be awesome?”_

_“Yeah it would!” Tom smiles “You know what would you name him?”_

_“Hm” Paul thinks for a while “Not sure. But she said she might take me to choose one on my birthday”_

_“That would be really cool, think I can join you?” He asks and Paul nods_

_“I know you love dogs, especially the big ones!” Paul laughs, opening his arms in a grandeur gesture and Tom nods_

_“Yeah I do” Tom shakes his head “So that’s what you want for your tenth birthday, right?” He asks_

_“Yes!” Paul yelps “That would be so cool!”_

_“I’ll tell Blanca you really want it, then” Tom rubs his hair and leans back into the backrest, pulling his covers over himself again, Paul moved his head foward again, not looking at Tom as he fell back into silence_

_"I miss my sister" Paul voices out of the blue and Tom sighs to himself_

_"I miss her too buddy" He voices out sadly before getting up and trying to shake it out of his mind "_ _You wanna go grocery shopping with me?”_

_“Yes yes!” Paul yelps, now suddenly excited “Please Tom! Can you take me to pet smart?!”_

_Tom laughs “Of course, kid. I just need to go and talk to your sister, alright?”_

_Paul sighs “Good luck then” He says “Elise’s not talking to anyone”_

_“I’ll try alright?” He asks and Paul scoffs, grabbing a coloring book that’s lying on the table by the couch and walking away with it. Tom goes up the stairs, he sees the door to Elise’s room and walks up to it, knocking on it._ _He hears nothing, so he knocks again._

_Go away!” Elise yells. He waits a little bit more and knocks again, she doesn’t answer this time. Tom touches the doorknob and notices it’s not locked like it usually is, he walks in and closes the door behind himself._

_When he turns back around, he sees the tiny, fragile, dark haired girl holding a BB gun in his direction, to his head to be more exact._

_“You can shoot me, I don’t care” Tom shoots back, knowing that could potentially kill him._

_Toni keeps focusing on him, but she puts down the gun “You look like shit” She tells him and he frowns, knowing he has huge bags under his eyes and his hair should be a mess, both he and Mark hadn’t seen a mirror or a shower in days_

_“Thank you, so do you” He says in exchange and her eyes widen, she pats her hair down as she sees Tom walking up to her study desk, he sits down on the corner beside it and grabs the first book he can find up on her desk, reading it silently “What are you doing?” She asks growing angry “Leave my room!”_

_Tom doesn’t answer, he doesn’t even look up. He only flips a page when Elise sighs and lies back down on her bed, going back to sleep._

_It takes about two hours after that for Mark to walk in with a plate of food on his hand and a cup of juice on the other, Tom notices it's obviously a delivery from a chinese place nearby. Elise doesn’t move, but Mark notices his friend sitting in the corner._

_“Hm, Tom?” He asks and Tom looks up from his book_

_“Yeah?” Tom asks, looking up “Have you ever read this before?” He shows Mark the pink cover_

_Mark frowns “Princess Diaries? I’ve seen the movies, but why are you reading it?”_

_Tom just shrugs “I don’t know, but these are awesome! And the story is different from the movies” He laughs “Do you think I am also a princess who actually doesn’t know about it?” He asks seriously_

_Mark shakes his head “You can’t know that, Tom”_

_“Well” Tom sighs as he turns back to the book “I’ll have to wait until I’m sixteen then”_

_Mark chuckles “I thought you were grocery shopping...”_

_“I will” Tom says without looking up “After I’m done here”_

_Mark nods “Okay, I’ll bring you some yaksobba then”_

 

_Tom smiles “Thank you, Marky” He says and Mark smiles before leaving the room. Mark eventually brings him food and lets him be. Tom is already halfway through the book when Elise notices there’s food on her nightstand. She sits up on the bed and eats it silently, not paying attention to Tom who was still sitting at the corner, his eyes glued up to the book. She finishes eating and looks at Tom, who doesn’t seem to care about her at all._

_“Why are you reading that?” She asks but still, he doesn’t even move or answer. Elise sighs and turns on the TV, she watches cartoons for the entire afternoon. “It’s getting dark out, aren’t you gonna leave?” She asks, but Tom still doesn’t answer “It’s seven pm!” Elise tells him “I’m gonna take a nap now and when I wake up, I want you gone, Tom!” She says but he does not move, again. Elise turns to lie down and after her breathing gets steady, he puts down the book._

_Tom puts his hand into his khakis pockets and fishes out his sidekick, he searches the number to his home and calls it in a heartbeat._

_“Tom?” The person who picks up asks_

_“Hey Sweetie” Tom smiles into the line “How are you?”_

_Elliott scoffs “Feeling like shit in this empty apartment”_

_"I’m sorry” Tom sighs “I really miss you”_

_“Me too. Are you coming tonight? Want me to go pick you up?”_

_Tom shakes his head, even if he knows he can’t see it “I… I need to stay tonight. I’m sorry”_

_“It’s okay” Elliott says, but Tom knows it’s not from the tone on his voice._

_“I’ll make it up to you. I promise, okay? But Mark just really needs me right now…”_

_“I know, hon. I know Mark is your best friend, but he’s still your ex anyway… You know I get worried”_

_Tom frowns “Elliott, me and him haven’t been together for over fourteen years!” He tells him harshly “It saddens me you don’t even trust me”_

_“I’m sorry, Tom, but you haven’t been home for an entire week!”_

_“Because he just lost his wife, Elliott! She was my best friend too! And he has three kids! Paul was all happy this morning because I told him I would help him get a dog for his birthday! I promised I would take him to pet smart today and I couldn’t even do that! I promised I would go do grocery shopping and I’m here still” Tom tells him hastily on the phone “I have been reading princess books the entire day because of little Elise, alright? She threatened me to leave her alone with a BB gun, for God’s sake!”_

_Elliott sighs at the other end “I miss you, Tom. That’s all, you know how much I love you”_

_Tom sighs “I love you too”_

_“Is there anything I can do, right now?” Elliott asks_

_“You can do grocery shopping” Tom says “Can you help me with that?”_

_“I did that yesterday, Tom”_

_“Not for you, dumbass!” Tom spits into the phone “For Mark and the kids”_

_Elliott sighs at the other end “Alright, I’ll do that”_

_“Thank you so much, Honey! Call downstairs and Mark will get you the list” Tom thanks into the phone “I love you so much!”_

_“Yeah, I love you too” Elliott says hastily before hanging up._

_Tom places the phone down on the floor as soon as he's done and sighs before grabbing the book again._

_It takes Tom until midnight to finish reading the entire book, up until then, Elise hadn’t woken up again. Tom gets up and walks up to the bed, he sits down by Toni’s side and pokes her_

_“What do you want?” She asks pissed_

_“Is there a second volume to this?” Tom asks “I wanna know If Amelia and Michael hit it off”_

_“It’s on the last drawer of the nightstand,” Elise says without turning away. Tom picks up the book and sits back on his spot. It takes another half hour after that for her to sit up on the bed again, “You should really take a shower,” She says, but again, Tom does not react “You are stinking”_

_Nothing_

_"Tom! I need you to go!"_

_"Why?" Tom asks angrily, putting the book down, but not getting up. Elise's eyes widen "Why do you want me to leave? Why don't you want anyone nearby?!?"_

_"Because you are ruining everything!" She yells at him, getting up from her bed and marching angrily towards her tiny closet, where she closed the door behind herself with a loud bang. Tom hears some rustling noise and a zipper going on and off, then everything is quiet for a minute until he hears Elise sobbing on the inside._

_It breaks Tom's heart, Elise had never let Tom or Mark see her cry since her mom passed away, she would always run or hide, lock herself in her room. It saddened Tom to see a kid that young wanting to hide and protect herself, he would always say he had lost his best friend, but so did her. Tom gets up, he starts walking towards the closet and kneels down as he gets in front of it, noticing that Elise's frame was leaning against the door, still shaking, still sobbing._

_Tom reaches out a hand and places it on the white surface of the wooden door, he sighs "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you" Tom says heart-broken "I was just trying to help"_

_Silence_

_"She was my best friend too, you know?" He says, the tears wanting to prickle in his eyes "I love her more than you could ever imagine. I always will"_

_Elise stops crying right there, Tom hears the sniffles still, but it's not gross sobbing anymore at least._

_"I will leave you alone now" Tom gets up, leaving the book on the floor and walking out of the room. He takes some time to gather himself together again before going downstairs, hearing a familiar noise as some plastic bags rustle. As soon as he gets down he sees Mark and Elliorr carrying groceries into the house, Elliott closes the door behind himself "That was quick" Tom smiles as his boyfriend looks back at him_

_"Hey, Tom" Elliott leans in to give Tom a peck on the lips, Tom smiles into it but quickly pulls back._

_"Thank you so much, Elli..." Mark starts voicing as he walks out of the kitchen, but as soon as Elliott sees him again he turns back to Tom and pulls his boyfriend into another kiss, a more passionate one, forceful. Tom kisses back but he waits until the minute Elliott_ _stops biting so hard on his bottom lip to pull back. Elliott wraps an arm around Tom and looks back at Mark_

_"I'm sorry, Mark. I wasn't listening" Elliott laughs, trying to break the ice he so porposedly created. Mark bites his tongue_

_"I said thank you" Mark fakes out a smile_

_"My pleasure" Elliott answers before turning back to Tom "You're coming home now?"_

_"Yeah, of course, I promised you, didn't I?" Tom answers a bit confused and Elliott nods_

_"That's what I wanted to hear"  Elliott smiles as he kisses the top of Tom's head_

_"I'm going to bed then" Mark sighs and both men's attention turn to him "Joe and Paul are already asleep"_

_"Good, go get yourself some rest" Tom smiles and Mark waves them off_

_"Close the door behind yourself" Mark tells him and Tom nods_

_"Do you already have everything with you?" Elliott asks and Tom nods, patting the pockets of his khakis, until his eyes wide_

_"I... I actually forgot my sidekick in Elise's room, I'll go get it and we can leave, alright?" He asks and Elliott sighs tiredly before nodding. Tom frowns but doesn't say anything as he runs up the stairs._

_Tom opens the door to Elise's room with one swift movement, knowing she'd still be locked inside her closet. But Tom's eyes widen when he sees her with a backpack on her, standing on her bed with pink sneakers as she tries to climb out the window, grabbing the branches of the tree outside._

_Elise quickly turns back at the noise of Tom walking in, she loses balance off herself and leans backwards to the weight on her back "ELISE!" Tom shouts desperately as he runs over to her, climbing on the bed with one single jump, holding her with one arm and placing the other on the wall above the window, holding himself from falling with her._

_Elise grasps both her tiny hands onto his shirt, holding on to him for dear life. Tom closes his eyes tightly, she's there, she's there in his arms and everything is fine. She is fine._

_Tom opens his eyes slowly when he hears her crying on his arms, he looks down, seeing her eyes closed and her cheeks flushed. She's crying again._

_She is not fine._

_Something sparks inside of Tom, he has a flashback. It's a sunny monday morning of mid-july, Tom is dressing yellow, he remembers because it was the same color of Elise and Mark's hospital gowns. Mark had changed back already, but Elise sat patient on her hospital bed._

_This memory, unlike most of what Tom has of Elise in a hospital, is a happy one. Mark sat in the arm chair holding the new-born boy in his arms, lowering him to show three-year-old Joe his new baby brother, but Tom's gaze drifted when he saw Elise sitting in her bed, basically doing the same as Mark, but admiring her baby girl, the baby girl she had said from the begging she was gonna name after herself. Elise cooed at her, shook her only slightly and smiled sweetly at her before she looked up at Tom._

_Elise smiled at Tom, reaching out her hand to hold his own. He takes it and squeezes, showing her support._

_"I am so happy you came" Elise tells him, and he smiles back. He had been debating if he should be there or not, but in the end he did. He hadn't been there for Joe, he wasn't gonna let that happen a second time._

_"Me too"_

_"Do..." Elise looks down at her baby, smiling at her adoringly "Do you wanna hold her?" Elise asks as she looks up at Tom again._

_Tom nods, struck by the fact he was gonna hold a tiny human. Elise chcukled at his innocence and handed her to him, Tom carefully took her off Elise's arms, their bodies and arms touching all the way._

_His arms wrap around that tiny girl, with the fresh pinky skin and purple lips, Tom feels something big inside of him and slowly, but just slowly, she opens her brown eyes at him. Tom smiles and cooes at her, trying to hold that moment in his memory forever._

_Tom then holds her tighter, kneeling down on the bed, and as soon as he feels the ground safe under the both of them, he uses his free hand to close the window. Elise is now sobbing into his shirt, he shifts her so she's lying on his lap, like a tiny baby again. He brushes her hair, trying to calm her down, but she just cries even more and he lets her._

_"Were you trying to run away?" Tom asks quietly, a tear scaping his eyes. Elise nods "Why?"_

_"Be... Because" She starts as she continues to cry "Because I don't want to live here anymore"_

_"Why not?" Tom wonders with a swollen voice "You have your dad and your brothers... You have me"_

_Elise blinks, she looks up at Tom, still gasping for air desperately "I have no one"_

_"No" Tom quickly shakes his head "You don't have no one, okay? We all love you, we all love you so much, Elise" Tom cries desperately "We can't lose you too"_

_"Are..." Elise blinks, sitting up to meet Tom's eyes as he held back a sob "Why are you crying?"_

_Tom doesn't say anything, he just turns away and cleans his tears. He doesn't see it, but Elise quickly sits up and hugs him, he hugs her back._

_"Aren't you mad at me?" She asks, not crying anymore_

_"What are you doing in this room for three weeks now?” Tom asks and Elise eyes him taken aback. "Kicking your dad out of the room! You think that's okay?"_ _Tom eyes her, she knows he can see right through her_

_“My mom passed away while hating me,” She says looking down to her hands_

_“What?” Tom scoffs, cleaning his eyes “She so did not!”_

_“Yes she did!” Elise yells as she looks up to him, now with tears in her eyes, Tom sighs at her stubborness when she raises her voice at him_ _“I was mean to her! I told her I did not want to see her! I didn’t even say goodbye!”_

 _“Hey! She loved you until her last minute! Alright? She said it to me herself, she loved you, Elise! She fucking loved you!” Tom yells as he feels himself starting to cry again too “God, I know first hand how much she loved you!_ _She loved you more than anything, she told me on her deathbed how much she loved you!” Tom insists “She… You’ll know someday how much, I know it’s hard right now, but you’ll know, you’ll understand someday! The future holds so many surprises, kid…”_

_Elise pulls back and looks up to him “It will?”_

_Tom dries away her tears and nods “It will”_

_Elise takes a deep breath and hugs Tom again. He kisses the top her head and pats it again “Can you sleep here with me tonight?” She asks and he chuckles before nodding_

_“I... I promised Elliott I would sleep at home, kid" Tom sighs "You know how scared of ghosts he gets"_

_"I know what you're doing with him, I'm not stupid" Elise voices out and Tom's eyes widen "Go get your sausage"_

_Tom starts bursting into laughter_

_"What?" Elise asks confused "What did I say?"_

_That only shoots Tom into more laughter, he had never seen her talk so openly about his boyfriend._

_"Okay okay" Tom says as the laughter dies down "I promise you we can hang out tomorrow, alright?” He says and she nods_

_“But just the two of us” She asks, her voice cracking "Just you and I"_

_Tom sighs “Just the two of us” He gives her another kiss on the head._

***

_Elise and Mark wait outside without any words to each other. Whenever he tries to start a conversation, she just looks down, ignoring him. It breaks his heart more than he likes to admit. It still takes a while until Elliott and Tom arrive in their blue Camry, Mark gets Elise on her booster seat and moves to the passenger seat window to talk to Tom "You promise to keep her in one piece?"_

_"I do" Tom nods_

_"Get her to talk to me" Mark begs in a whisper "Please?"_

_Tom sighs, noticing the pain in his best friend's eyes "I'll try"_

_"I can live with that" Mark waves them off before Tom closes the window and Elliott drives out of the street._

_“You guys know what are you going to do at the mall?” Elliott asks, looking at Elise through the rearview mirror, but she doesn’t answer_

_“We’re going to have lunch and then buy her new clothes, right kid?” Tom asks, but she still doesn’t say anything, her eyes focusing on the view outside as she ignored them_

_Elliott is wearing his normal suit for work; he works as a sales representative in one of the fancy jewelry stores at the mall. He sighs when he doesn’t really get an answer from her, Tom tries not to think about it._

_When they arrive at the mall, Elliott and Tom walk out together while Elise stays inside. "_ _Here are the keys; whenever you guys are done you can just drive her home. I’ll ask a ride to Janice” Elliott says and Tom nods “Are you coming back home tonight?”_

_Tom smiles sadly, “I will be there, again”_

_Elliott smiles “Good” He says and gives Tom and peck in the cheek. Tom watches him leave as Elise gets out of the car._

_Elise stays silent all throughout lunch, Tom tries to pick up conversation but she never answers him._

_“Elise, please talk to me!” Tom begs her “I can’t stand seeing you sad like that”_

_“I’m not sad” She chews on a chicken nugget “Well, at least not right now”_

_Tom frowns “What is it then?”_

_“I don’t want you calling me Elise anymore…” She still pays attention to her food_

_“Wait, what?” Tom chuckles “But that’s your name!”_

_“Well, I don’t want this name anymore” Elise tells him matter-of-factly “I don’t wanna think you or dad are trying to see mom whilst talking to me…”_

_“What do you want us to call you then?” Tom asks, grabbing a forkful of rice_

_“I’m not sure yet” She tells him and he nods_

_“Okay, so tell me when you know, alright?”_

_Elise nods and keeps eating again; Tom doesn’t say anything as he digests the information. When they’re done, Tom grabs her by the hand and they walk around, trying to find a good store where they might find her a pretty dress._

_“This one looks nice” Tom stops in front of one, looking at their tiny mannequins “Look, they have Disney themed patterns!”_

_Elise frowns at the mannequins “I don’t want a dress!” She tries to drag him away_

_“Well…” Tom starts, walking away whilst she pulls him “What do you want, then?”_

_“I want a skate!” She tells him plainly and he laughs_

_“A skate?”_

_“Yeah!”_

_Tom sighs and shakes his head, defeated “I will get you a skate…” He says and her eyes light up and she jumps up and down excitedly, clapping her hands_

_“Oh my God! Thank you Thank you Tom!” She says hugging him “Dad said he would get me one after mom got better, but he hasn’t brought it up ever since I asked”_

_Tom smiles sadly at her hugging his freakishly long legs. She smiles and he takes her hand again “Come on, kid” He says “We’re not gonna find your skate here”_

_They walk out of the mall and they get into his car, driving away to the beach. Tom parks the car near his all-time favorite store and walks inside with her, holding her hand. The bell rings as they walk in, and people look up to them._

_“Tom!” The salesman says from his place on the register, looking up from his comic book “How are you, man?” He asks as Tom bumps his fist with his_

_“I’m okay” He says “How’re things going?”_

_“Good good” His friend says, he’s got a nose ring and purple hair, Elise looks up at him amazed “Who’s your friend? Your girlfriend?”_

_Tom laughs “If she wants to be” He says and she smiles shyly “She’s Mark’s daughter”_

_“Mark?” The guy asks and frowns “You mean your bo…”_

_“Yeah!” Tom cuts him, eyeing him “That Mark”_

_“Oh” The guy says when he notices what he was going to say “What are you guys here for?” He asks as he kneels in front of Elise_

_“A skate!” She tells him excitedly_

_“Hm!” The guy says getting up “I have the perfect thing for you!” He says and takes her and Tom to the back of the store, he shows her all their skates until they reach the end where they have the smaller samples, he takes two off the wall and places them down on the floor “These are the kids models we have” He explains “You can choose which one do you want and then you can pick the pattern"_

_“Cool!” Elise shrieks as she starts playing with one. Tom helps her get on it and takes her around for a few spins “I suck” She says as they finish riding the second one_

_“I’ll teach you, alright?” Tom laughs as he puts the helmet on her head, knocking on it_

_Elise nods “I like the first one. What colors do you have?”_

_“Hm, let’s see” The salesman says “We have blue, pink, purple, white, black…”_

_“I want black!” She says decided “I want black so I can put lots of stickers on it!”_

_Tom and the salesman both laugh “Alright” Tom says “What about the wheels?”_

_Elise thinks for a while “Pink!” She exclaims and Tom turns to the salesman again_

_“Okie dokie” The guy says as he rushes inside. Elise keeps looking around the store, looking at the shirts on the other side_

_“Look Tom!” She says pointing at a shirt rack “You have this shirt!” Elise says while grabbing an MacBeth shirt_

_Tom laughs “Yeah, I actually don’t have that same one but they all look the same so…”_

_“Can I try it on?” Elise looks up to him with her brown eyes, the same ones her mom used to look at him with “Please!” Elise whines_

_“That size is just a bit big, don’t you think?” Tom laughs one more time, the salesman comes back with the skateboard and a white box on the other “What is the smallest size you have for MacBeth shirts?” He asks_

_“I’ll go check” He says and goes back inside. he comes back a while later with a classic design “This is the smallest we have, it’s a woman’s medium”_

_“Cool” Tom smiles as he opens the wrapping and Elise stretches her arms while he helps her put it on “Wow, it looks huge” Tom laughs at the oversized shirt_

_Elise laughs with him “I love it!” She says as she looks at herself in the mirror_

_“You want it?” Tom asks, looking at her through the mirror also_

_Elise turns to him “What?”_

_“You want it?” Tom asks again "Do you want the shirt?"_

_Elise looks skeptical at the fabric in her hands “I… I do, yes I want it” She smiles shyly_

_“It’s yours then” Tom smiles and she walks up to him “Just… Just wait a second” He says and gets up, her eyes follow him but he disappears to the front of the store. When he comes back, he’s got two hats in his hand, both have a dead bird in the front and basically look the same “Here you go” He says as he puts the hat backwards on her head and pulls the pony tail away, letting her hair go loose. He smiles as he puts the other hat in his head “We’re twinzies now” Tom laughs, patting her in the head_

_Elise takes a deep breath as she looks at Tom with dreamy eyes_

_“Toni!”_

_“What?” Tom asks_

_“Call me Toni” She says “I’m Toni now”_

_Tom nods “Whatever you like” He says and smiles before she gives him a big hug, Tom hugs her back surprised_

_“Thank you” She whispers to him “I love you, Tom”_

_“I love you too, Toni” Tom says as he hugs her even tighter._

***

_“Where are we going?” Paul asks as Tom puts on his seatbelt on the backseat of the car. Tom plays with his hair before closing the door and getting into the driver’s seat_

_“Remember yesterday you asked me to go to Pet Smart?” Tom asks_

_“Yeah, I do!” Paul says excitedly “Are we going there?”_

_“Better, we’re going to a dog pound” Tom explains and Toni laughs, also from the backseat_

_“What?!?” She smiles big_

_“We’re going to get a dog?!?” Paul also smiled, not believing in Tom._

_“We are not getting a dog!” Tom tells them harshly “We’re just going there and play a little, alright?”_

_“Nooo!” Both of them whine in unison_

_Tom laughs “We’ll just have fun today, alright?” He says and keeps driving, he parks the car in front of the pound and Toni quickly jumps out to help her brother out of his seat. Tom gets out and locks the car as he grabs Paul by his hand_

_They walk in and the people are generous enough to let them go play with a few puppies and even a few of the older dogs. The girl at the front desk smiles at both Toni and Paul as she lets them in, seeing Paul giggle as a tiny Lhasa puppy licked his nose._

_“Are you a single father?” She asks turning to him, her ponytail faliling around, Tom looks down at her confused_

_“Hm, no, I’m… I’m a friend of the family…” He tells her as he nods, looking back at the kids “I… I am engaged actually”_

_“Oh” The girl nods, looking back at the kids_

_“Their mother passed away about a month ago…” Tom explains “They are only ten, and Toni’s real name is Elise, just like her mom’s name, but she doesn’t want to be called that anymore…”_

_The girl looks up at him, giving him a sad smile “Did you come here to get them a puppy?” She asks, Tom shakes his head_

_“No, I… Their dad would kill me, really” He says “They have another older brother, not much age difference between the three of them. A puppy would be just more work when he doesn’t need much anymore…” The girl sighs, she looks around and bites her lip, Tom notices her nervousness “Is everything okay?” He asks confused_

_“Dogs can help a lot with family losses,” She says simply and Tom nods_

_“Paul has been talking about it lately. I feel like it’s time they have one, I mean, every kid should have a dog in a point in their life, right?” The girl nods and Tom sighs, he looks at Toni smiling and nods “I would like that they did, their mom would have wanted this too...”_

_“It is always something to consider” The girl says and Tom sighs, t_ _hey hang out for a little more time, and Tom smiles as a dog starts sniffing his pants_

_“Who are you big girl?” He asks looking down, the black labrador smiling up at him._

***

_“Shhhh” Tom whispers as he walks into the apartment, Sally immediately starts to pull Tom into the house, excited by all the new space in the small apartment she could play with “Calm down, kid!” He says holding on to her leash “We wanna surprise Elliott, alright?” Tom tells her and pets her head._

_Tom waits a couple of minutes until she calms down and he walks up to their room, Tom giggles insanely as he opens the door and lets her go. Sally jumps on the bed and wakes up Elliott with a lick to his face, barking for him to come play with her_

_“What the fuck?!” Elliott jumps up on the bed, sitting up and trying to get Sally away from him “Tom, whose dog is this?!?”_

_“It’s ours!” Tom smiles excitedly “I adopted her today!”_

_“You what?!?!?” Elliott asks outraged_

_“Yeah! She was in the pound all sad and she just came up to me and she wouldn’t let me go and she’s so cute! Look at this face!” Tom says pulling her closer as he sits on the bed, he places his face right beside hers and pouts at his fiancée, that before Sally started licking Tom’s face as well_

_“You are not keeping this dog!” Elliott tells him, Tom frowns confused_

_“Why not?” He asks_

_“Because you never fucking asked me if I wanted a fucking dog!” Elliott yells “Fuck, I hate dogs, Tom!”_

_“But…” Tom starts “I can’t give her back, Elliott. She is from the pound!” He says “And honestly, I’m not letting her go, I really like her!”_

_Elliott sighs and gets up “You haven’t been at home for weeks, Tom. You have been taking care of someone else’s problems, and then you come back to completely ignore my opinions in this relationship” He says as he puts on a pair of dirty jeans “I’m leaving, alright, I’ll see you tomorrow”_

_“What?” Tom asks confused “Where are you going?” He goes after his fiancée as they walks into the living room_

_“Gonna sleep at Ashley’s, alright?” Elliott says as he grabs his car keys “I can’t stand to look at you right now, even if this is the first time I see you in over four days!”_

_“Elliott, I’m sorry, let’s just tal…” He starts, but his fiancée closes the door to the hallway midsentence._

_Tom never thought he would cry like this over another boy again._


	22. March 25th, 2017

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to know if two vegans are arguing is it still beef?

Everything is a haze, everything is muffled. 

Toni groans and moves around when she notices she is waking up. Opening her eyes only slightly she realizes she is not on her bed, or in _a_ bed to say any least. She brings the blanket that is on top of her closer to her body, snuggling even more into it and closing her eyes again, her headache is just too big for her to care about anything at all. She hears footsteps around the room and the strong smell of coffee, she opens one eye and suddenly sees Sally jumping on top of her, Toni lets out a yelp and flinches

"Sally! Oh my _God_!" Toni voices desperately as the large dog continues to lick her face. Toni hears Tom yelling from behind her.

"Come on, girl" Tom pulls Sally down "Toni will play with you in a moment, alright?" Sally then sneezes and moves over to the kitchen, Toni laughs. 

Toni sits up and looks at Tom standing in front of her being weirdly casual: red and white pajama pants and an old plain black shirt, two mugs on his hands.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty" Tom smiles at her as she scoots to make way for him to sit at the couch "I got you some coffee"

Toni rubs her eyes tiredly with the back of her hand before taking the coffee away from him with the other "Thanks" She sighs as she takes a sip. 

"Are you okay?" Tom asks worriedly and she shakes her head "You seem pretty hangover"

"Thanks sherlock" Toni rolls her eyes and Tom chuckles "How did I end up on your couch?"

"I basically found you sitting on the doorstep by yourself, I let you in and you just cried saying that you didn't deserve to get the guest bedroom"

"Oh" Toni frowns

"Did something happen? It's not common for you to show up like this. I mean, _it is_ , but not at five in the morning, it isn't..."

"I just... I guess I feel like I have to talk about something and you're the only person who might actually understand me, I guess" Toni shrugs 

"You have practice today?" Tom asks as he takes another sip from his coffee and Toni shakes her head, Tom gets up and grabs one of the dinner table chairs, pulling it closer to the couch so he would sit in front of her, Toni wraps the blanket around herself and notices that she is wearing one of Tom's oversized Strange Times shirts and a pair of panties, nothing else. She looks to the side and sees her jeans scattered on the floor "You puked over your own shirt" Tom explains when he notices she's wondering where her clothes are. Toni closes her eyes and sighs "I already washed it, so don't worry"

"Great" Toni rolls her eyes "I actually have to go over to Matt's tonight, I promised him I would take care of Annie while he went to some party from work or something" Toni shrugs and takes another sip, Tom sighs 

"I see" He nods, trying to hide the hint of jealousy on his tone "So, what is it, that you want to talk about?"

"I..." Toni starts, looking down at her own hands "I, Tom... I think I don't want to go to college…”

Tom stops, he brings down his coffee mug half-sip, he looks at her confusedly and frowns “Hm, you what?”

“I don’t think I want to college, but, like, I don’t think I am entirely sure yet…” She explains once again “I know dad has worked so hard for this, so that Paul, Joe and I could go to college, but still, I don’t know if it’s worth it…”

“Why not, honey?” Tom asks worried

“Because I do not even know what I want to major in! I will be a fuck up and like, fail a lot and I think I wanna stay with my band!” She says looking down "And... I don't have any fucking idea of what I want to do!"

“Ah!” Tom nods understanding everything “Toni, let me tell you something” he starts, he shifts on his seat and tries to get a little closer to her “I don’t think I would’ve gone to college anyhow, with blink or no blink, of course, with expelling at high school in my curriculum no college would ever take me… But if I had to choose between blink and college, I would always choose blink, even with everything that happened...” He sighs "I don't think I could've let myself live thinking I just sat down and watched my dreams go by"

Toni sighs, wrapping the sheet tighter around herself “You say that just cause you like dad” She tells him in a really low voice, looking down to her lap.

Tom blinks, he takes a deep breath and runs a hand on his hair nervously “Yeah, _maybe_." He nods, part of him not actually believing he's assuming this "But don’t you love your band too?”

“I do!” Toni whines, “I love my band! But... It's not that simple"

"How come?" 

"Frank, he... He kissed me last night" Toni explains and Tom's eyes widen "He kissed me while we were in the middle of this huge argument and... And he is telling me everything I know: That I don't want to go to college, that it has never been my plan and that we should take this opportunity with the band because God knows when we'll have the musical chemistry we have with someone else again and I just... I feel weird about it because we are so young and if I make a huge decision like this, go to college and regret because I don't have my band, or keep with my band but we break up and... And I don't ever get to go to college, I mean..." She shakes her head, putting her words together "What if Frank and I end up hating each other? What if I rush into things?"

"Toni" Tom smiles earnestly at her “If you don’t want to go to college, your dad will completely understand it. He just wants to give you the opportunity; he never said you have to go…”

“He would just get really disappointed” Toni says, “I can already see it: He's gonna get this really sad smile and he'll just nod at everything I say and then he'll hold down the crying and he'll excuse himself and go and cry and then he'll come back with these really swollen eyes and not come close to me again so he can all that he's thinking and I...”

"Toni!" Tom reaches out and puts one of his hands on her knees, trying to calm her down “Toni, Mark would never let you not do something you don’t like, okay?” Tom tells her a bit harsher “And I’m not gonna let you do what you don’t want just because you think you’re gonna break his heart! He has had his heart broken before, it is not gonna kill him if it happens again. It’s your choice, kid...”

“Really?” She looks up at him hopefully and Tom nods

“I am sure. Come on, your dad basically dropped college because of me so…" Tom sighs and finishes his coffee "He’s got not even right to fight you back…”

“But that’s the thing!” Toni laughs, “I’m not sure about my band yet, but I’m not so keen on college either. Truth is I have no idea of what to do…”

"Well, you like Frank..."

"No, I don't" Toni protests "Did you hear the part where he was the one who kissed me?!?"

"Yes, but it is not the first time, you know?" Tom laughs "You could've said no, but you still stutter when talking to him even though you are the sassiest bitch I know. You got into a fight with a kid who had been bugging you for _ages_ , but the moment he made a snark remark at Frank, you just lunged at him, _bam_!" Tom smashes his fist into the palm of his hand, demonstrating a punch. Toni flinches back and blinks a few times. Tom smiles at her "You like him"

"No, I do not!" Toni remarks again and Tom rolls his eyes, getting up and taking her now empty mug away from her 

"Your dad always says the same thing, you know?" Tom says before he leaves the room. Toni sighs and blinks, getting up and following the older man into the kitchen “Well, I have a few friends that took a free year before deciding to go college” Tom shrugs, noticing the girl's presence in the room again, changing the subject “You can be with your band for a year and who knows? If it works out, great! If it doesn’t, you can just go to college the next year, it doesn’t matter…”

“Yeah, I guess that can work out” Toni nods more excitedly, walking closer to him as Tom opens the tap of the sink to wash the mugs 

“Do you even know what you wanna do at college if you go?”

Toni just shakes her head and shrugs “I don’t have a flying clue”

"It's okay" Tom smiles at her "It'll be more time for you to figure out then"

"I guess" Toni smiles a bit shyly, climbing into the counter and grabbing a chocolate bar that is by her side on the counter, she opens it and takes out a piece. Toni looks over to the kicthen table and notices Jim's computer and papers lying around "Jim's been busy, huh?"

"What?" Tom asks and Toni points her head over to the table while still chewing on her candy "Oh, that, yeah, he's been kind of hurried, that's all"

Toni nods "What were you doing last night?"

"What do you mean?"

"You were out until five am, Tom" Toni laughs "That's not normal"

"I was at Strange Times"

"You came from the different side of the street, and your building gets locked up at eleven every night..."

"I was at Matt and David's, alright? Is it too insane to believe in that?" Tom asks a bit annoyed 

"Sounds suspicious" Toni points out and Tom starts to rub a plate way too forcefuly "You looked like shit and I know you had been crying"

"I wasn't crying!"

"I know you when you cry, Tom"

"Alright! _Alright!_ " Tom shouts, throwing a cup back into the sink, looking at Toni, who was now taken aback "Jim broke up with me" Tom now whispers to her. Toni's mouth hangs open, her eyes widen and then she frowns a little

"He _what?!?_ Why?" She asks outraged 

"It's not bad, I swear. He... He got a job out of the country..."

"Shit" Toni whispers as she climbs down from the counter "Where?"

"Italy..."

"Gosh, I am so sorry, Tom" Toni breathes out compassionetly. 

"Everything is gonna be fine, kid" Tom whispers to her and turns back to his dishes, Toni notices the way his jaw clenches and how upset he looks. Toni knows Tom likes Jim a big deal, she gives him a sad smile before hugging him, Tom takes it as a surprise, but still hugs her back “And I need you to remember that your dad, your brothers and I will always support you no matter what, you know that, right?”

Toni nods “Thanks Tom” She says while smiling at him, sad that he's chaging the subject towards her again when he's clearly upset about something else. The only thing that disrupts them is Tom's phone ringing

"Let me get that" He says before reaching for it on top of the counter “It is your dad” Tom explains when he looks at the screen

“Oh my God! I completely forgot to talk to dad!” Toni whines and Tom shakes his head disapprovingly before answering

“Hi Mark, what is up?” Tom asks casually, trying to play it cool 

“For the _love of God_ tell me that Toni is with you!?!” Mark pratically begs at the other end, Tom gives Toni a repproving look and she looks away ashamed

“She is”

“Oh, thank God!” Mark breathes out relieved “Is she okay?”

“Just a bit hangover, but alive nonetheless” Tom sighs "She's in one piece"

“Good” Mark nods to himself “Is she going to stay there?”

“I guess so” Tom shrugs 

“Then have her ready at six to go over to Matt's house, I'll pick her up”

“Sure thing” Tom says before he and Mark finish their conversation, Toni looks up at Tom with guilty eyes as soon as the call is over

“I am so so sorry” She says and Tom sighs

“Come on, let's get you some breakfast” He smiles as he wraps an arm around her shoulder

*** 

Travis, Frank and Megan all sit at the lunch table of the wooden house, the silence seems unnerving and Frank looks between his sister and his uncle constantly. Travis clears his throat at one point and Frank suddenly looks to him, Travis looks at his nephew and he nods before he gets up to get another spoonful of rice from the table “So… What’s up with Toni?” Travis asks

“You mean Toni, our friend from band?” Megan asks and Travis nods “What about her?”

“Well, she’s a nice girl” Travis sits back on the chair “Don’t you think, Frank?”

Frank looks up and nods quickly “Yeah, she is” He says and looks back down again

“Is she a good singer?” Travis asks

“She’s okay” Frank shrugs

Travis frowns and looks at Megan

 _“Crush”_ She mouths to Travis and before he’s able to nod understandingly Frank has already voiced out

“I do not have a crush on her!” Frank shouts a bit too harshly

“You don’t?” Megan asks challenging

“I do not! Shut up, Megan!" Frank says annoyed again, dropping his fork on the plate with a clink

“Frank, calm down…” Travis warns him, placing a hand on his shoulder “No need to overreact, alright? What did we talk about emotional outbursts?”

Frank breathes a few times and nods "I know, I'm sorry"

"She has a crush on you too, you know?" Megan continues 

"She does not!"

"Oh, she _does_!" Megan laughs again

"Trav!" Frank whines, looking over to his uncle for support. Travis can only make a face "What? You're just gonna let her tease me like this?"

"Well, I wouldn't be surprised to hear Toni likes you back, kid"

"What?" Frank chuckles a bit confused "You're taking Megan's side?"

 _"Ha"_ Megan lets out a fake laugh and Frank shows her the tongue "Wow, how mature" She laughs again “She also doesn’t complain you smell like a pig” Megan continues

“Jared doesn’t complain either, and neither does you two!” Frank says

“Jared smells too nice to notice and Trav and I are family who support and love you” Megan points out “Toni has all the crush characteristics”

Frank sighs and looks between her and Travis “We got into a fight yesterday" Frank says and both Megan and Travis frowns

“You what?” Travis asks

“I mean, I didn't mean to fight, but... But we were both drunk and we were talking about some sensitive subjects and... And I guess I took it over the edge a little" Frank shrugs "I... I kissed her"

"You _what_?" Megan asks, almost spitting out her drink

"Yeah, I... I felt bad and I needed her to stop talking and..."

"Frank please tell me you did not kiss her just to win the argument" Megan brings her glass down, now clearly pissed

"I... I can't say I didn't do tha..."

"Oh my God" Megan laughs as she shakes her head "That's why she stormed out last night, that's why she didn't get in the Uber with us, it makes a lot of sense now"

"I should apologize, shouldn't I?" Frank asks, looking over to his uncle 

"Probably" Travis gives him a sad smile. Frank nods and silence installs itself on the table again, Travis looks up at his niece and his eyes cross Megan's, he momentarily looks at Frank again, who is now distracted by his food, nibbling it with his fork

“Well, we also kissed one other time, but I ran away” Frank says quickly and Travis and Megan turn their attentions back at him, their jaws dropping

“You what?” Travis asks confused and Megan’s eyes widen

“You ran away?” She says

“Megan!” Travis calls her out and she sighs “Frank, you really like this girl?”

Frank thinks for a while but then he nods, looking down at his plate “Yeah, I do” He says weakly

Travis nods “It’s alright, okay? Just be sure before you move into anything if you’re serious about this band, you understand? I know lots of bands that ended because of relationships on the inside”

"It's not a relationship! She's going to college!" Frank shouts suddenly, Megan blinks a few times and Travis looks at his nephew taken aback "She is leaving! She is gonna go to college and there is going to be no band and no relationship, okay?"

"Frank, you don't know that!" Megan shouts back " _She_ doesn't even know that"

"Frank, her dad dropped out of college for a boy, don't expect it to be in her blood" Travis sighs as he gets up, picking up his own empty plate and Frank's as well, dropping them into the sink behind the boy "Stop stressing too much about it" He says as his back faces his nephew. 

Frank puffs out angrily, knowing too damn well about his overreaction. 

***

It’s nearly six already when Mark parks his car in front of Tom's house, Toni and Tom are already waiting in the porch, Toni now wearing the same clothes she had worn the night before but now with one of Jim's old shirts. 

"Good luck, kid" Tom pats her in the back as he sees Mark walking up to them, Toni gives him a sad smile

"Thanks" She tells him earnestly as Mark stops in front of the two of them. Toni smirks when she sees her dad wearing jeans and a long-sleeved black shirt

"What?" Mark frowns when he notices her daughter's look 

"Someone looks fancy tonight" She laughs and Mark looks at Tom, who can also only grin at the older man 

"Your girlfriend is hitting on me" Mark tells him "Tell her to calm down"

"Incest runs in the family didn't you know that?" Tom and Toni laugh together as he answers Mark, the two of them high-fiving each other right afterwards. 

"Good one, Tom" She says and shakes her head, moving towards the front lawn "I'll wait you in the car"

"Cool" Mark nods as he sees his daughter leaving, he turns back to Tom, who he notices is wearing an old plain black shirt and jeans, his fishers hat backwards on his head, leaning casually against one of the pillars in his porch. Mark's breath is taken away momentarily, but just for a second, a tiny one "What's up?" He asks his friend, trying to act casual

Tom smiles at him "Not much" He nods at Mark "Excited about the tattoo next week?"

"Oh yeah" Mark nods, remembering that the date of his tattoo appointment that Tom set up for him was coming soon "Yeah, I'm actually pretty excited"

"Good" Tom nods 

"How's Jim"

Tom sighs "Jim's okay, he's inside working, so..."

"Can I go talk to him?" Mark asks as he points inside 

"Actually, I don't think he wants to be disturbed right now" Tom lies "The work he's doing is sort of serious"

"I see" Mark nods, putting both hands inside his pants's pockets "I better go then..."

"You don't want to leave Matt waiting, do you?" Tom crosses his arms and looks down, kicking a peeble with his feet. Mark sighs and nods

"I guess not" He says "Bye Tom" Mark sighs before turning away and walking towards the direction that Toni had gone to before. Mark climbs into the driver's seat and closes the door behind himself. “What?” Mark asks as he notices his daughter's stare, a little smirk playing on his lips. 

“Are you going on a date?” She laughs, putting a hand on his collar to fix it quickly, Mark lets her

“Just some cocktail party Audrey invited me to from work, you know…”

Toni laughs “Sure” She nods “And you’re all going with Matt too so that’s why you offered me a ride?”

"How do you know?"

"Because Matt also told me he's going to a party from work"

“Hm, yes?” Mark says as he turns into a street “Is there a problem?”

Toni frowns “Not really” She shakes her head, laughing nervously “Why would there be?”

“I don’t know” Mark shrugs “He’s your boss…”

“He’s your boss too…”

“Well, not anymore”

Toni nods and smiles “We should hang out sometime, dad” She says and Mark looks at her “Just the two of us, catch up on things? What do you think?”

Mark smiles as well and nods “Sure, I would like that sweetheart. We could talk college plans!”

“Oh” Toni looks down “Yes, we could…”

“I mean, I have been talking to Paul about it but I haven’t heard much about your plans…” Mark explains “I’ve just been working a lot this week, so when this is all over we can go out and catch a movie, what do you think?”

“Sounds great!” Toni gives him a fake smile, but Mark does not notice

“So… How is working for Matt going, huh?” Mark asks, teasing her with his elbow

“It’s going good” Toni nods, placing both hands between her legs “I like spending time with Annie… And Matt’s music equipment is pretty sweet too” She laughs at the end and looks at Mark, nodding at him

“Yes, but do you like Matt? You think he’s a cool guy?” Mark asks worriedly

“Sure, dad. Of course” Toni laughs, “Why are you asking me this?”

“Nothing” Mark shrugs “I just wanted to know…”

“No, you wouldn’t be asking this just because…” Toni says calmly “Come on; tell me what is going on…”

Mark sighs and shakes his head “Toni, I really don’t wanna talk about this…”

“Dad!”

“No, Toni…”

“Dad, come on!” Toni whines, she then sits up straight in the seat “I know you like Matt…” Toni laughs and Mark opens his mouth, trying to speak something, but nothing really comes out from his lips. He grows tense “I know you like _like_ him, alright?”

“I… I don’t like! I don’t like Matt!” Mark says quickly “I’m not ev…”

“Gay?” Toni asks, “Dad, I know you’re bi…”

Mark looks ahead of him and sees that the street light has not gone green yet; he swallows dryly and grips on the steering wheel. Toni notices an emptiness to his eyes; she sighs and looks down at her own hands on her laps "Tom told you, didn't he?" He asks quietly

"He did" Toni answers in a low voice too “It was about time we talked about this, I guess”

Mark slowly starts to nod, swallowing in everything, trying to process it. “You know about him then, I suppose?”

Toni nods

“How much?”

“Everything…”

Mark nods, processing the information “Of course Tom would fucking tell you one time or another” Mark scoffs before angrily tapping his hand angrily on the steering wheel “Of _fucking course!_ ”

“Dad! Your hand!” Toni reaches out to hold Mark’s left hand “Don’t do that!”

“You don’t understand!” Mark cries out and Toni nods, still holding his wrist in place 

“Dad!” Toni finally cuts him off “I know you like Matt, okay?” She asks loudly and somewhat aggressively. He just stares at her with his blue eyes, piercing her brown ones “But dad, I know you also still like Tom!” Toni shouts and Mark quickly turns his look to her, his eyes wide now “I know you do! I can see it in your eyes and in the way you talk to him and just… Just how weak you get around him from time to time, alright?” Toni shakes her head, staring at her dad while he looks down, avoiding her and her words “I think you’re getting too invested on Matt to pay attention on what’s going on with Tom!” She says more intensely, and Mark still does not answer anything. Toni slumps back on her seat and looks down at her hands “You’re just fucking up your head; I think you should talk to him…”

“I am not, and you know why?” Mark asks, almost getting up from his seat “Because if Tom and I should be together, we would be, okay? We would be! And things wouldn’t be like this right now and you wouldn’t be getting into shit that’s none of your business!” Mark hisses at his daughter

“I’m just trying to help!” Toni shouts, placing both hands on her chest “I don’t want you to get hurt!”

“No!” Mark shouts back, turning to her and pointing a finger at her, “You’re doing this because of Tom!”

“I am not!”

“Yes, you are!”

“Dad! Can’t you see you’re supposed to be with Tom?!? It’s so painfully obvious!”

“You’ve always been like this! You’ve always done shit for Tom and I know you would sell your soul to him! You would just love to see the two of us together, wouldn’t you?” Mark yells as he finally parks the car at some random street, not yet having reached Matt’s house “You would just love to wake up to us making breakfast together in the morning and to have Tom be around all the time to discuss music with you and to see us talking excitedly about plans of our annual Hawaii trip, wouldn’t you?”

Toni grits her teeth, she has to admit, it is not a bad scenario in her mind. After all, everything she ever wanted was to have her family back.

“Let me tell you something, Toni” Mark continues, “Tom _is not_ Elise”

 _“Stop!!!”_ Toni suddenly shouts, Mark looks surprised at her reaction “I know Tom is not my mom, okay?!? I know that very well!” She stammers and looks at her hands again, her voice full of hurt “You know I really like Matt, dad. I just don’t want anyone to get hurt…”

Mark sighs "Do you know what is like to wake up and not see your daughter sleeping on her bed?" He says without taking his eyes off the road "How can you talk about me not getting hurt in relationships when you can't even make the first step!"

Toni blinks a few times, thinking things through. She never thought this would affect him likes this. "Dad, I am so, so, sorry. I promise this will never happen again!" Toni starts babbling "I didn't mean to, I was super drunk and..."

"I know, okay?" Mark interrupts her "I get it: You're seventeen, you are gonna go out, drink, party and shit. I just want you to understand I do not need you to vanish in the middle of the night and scare the shit out of me in the morning!"

"Dad, I..."

"I already lost a wife and... And my son doesn't talk to me and I myself have almost been the one, I don't want you gone!" Mark shouts "I am not even ready for you and Paul to leave, okay? I am fucking not! It's too soon, I... I will only have Tom when this is over and..." Mark lowers his head and Toni bites her lip awkwardly, sighing afterwards "Maybe we shouldn't talk about this anymore"

"Maybe we shouldn't" Toni agrees and frowns before turning herself away from him and looking out the window. Mark sighs brokenly and starts the engine again, eventually he parks the car again in front of Matt’s house. They walk out of the car and Mark knocks at the door.

Matt opens the door, smiling at the two of them "Hi there, I..." He starts, but cuts himself as soon as Toni dodges past him without a word, walking inside and marching up to Annie's room. Matt frowns and looks over to Mark, who only sighs at his friend "Is she okay?" Matt asks concerned.

"I guess not" Mark explains as he walks inside and Matt closes the door behind him "We had an argument in the car"

"Why?" Matt asks chuckling 

"Becuase of you" Mark sighs, Matt looks over to him and frowns, Mark looks back and smirks at his friend, content about how much he cares that they were talking about him. 

Matt frowns "You had an argument about me?" He asks pointing at his own chest, he smiles amusedly when he notices Mark is somewhat happy about it

"Yes"

"What about me?"

"You probably don't want to know" Mark smiles as he turns to Matt and looks into his eyes

"Why are you smiling then?" Matt asks, smiling back

"Nothing" Mark chuckles, not ungluing his eyes from Matt's for a single second. 

Matt smiles and looks to his side, towards the stairs "You want me to check on her?"

Mark shrugs "She'll be okay, I guess"

"I better go talk to Annie anyway" Matt excuses himself and Mark nods

"Sure thing"


	23. April 4th, 2017

Matt asks Toni to come in early on Monday afternoon, right after school, Toni complies since he promises her to come back in time for her to go to rehearsal and drop her off too, I mean, money, ride and fufilment of all activities? What else could she ask more?

Toni calculates to use the time she gets to at least put up with some homework so she can at least try to graduate with decent scores. She does her homework on the Skiba household's kitchen, Toni sighs as she goes through the papers.

She has never been an A+ student 100% of the time, she knew she would never go to Yale or Cornell, but she gave enough of herself because she knew decent grades were needed to get into an okay college. And it was not like she was dumb or anything, her mom had given her the gift of _numbers_ , and her dad the gift of _words_ , that was already enough for her to not fail every math or physics and creative writing or english classes.

Was it worth it? She wonders to herself. Would she waste those nights of the past studying and working by throwing away all her possibilities of a bright academic future? Like the one her mother had, and the one her dad gave up...

A year before she was giving everything of herself to be where she is, but why does the universe want to punish her with cold feet?

Toni breathes in deeply and gathers the papers again, shoving them randomly into her backpack, along with her min-hunting thoughts. Her backpack that has not gotten out of her room in days, both because she only goes to class a couple of days in the week now (deliberately) and because when she _does_ go to class she could only take a sheet of paper and a pen stuck into the tiny pocket of her guitar case and not even give a damn about it. 

A few papers stuck out, she just stands before it and shrugs to herself, moving to keep shoving it in, not caring that they are getting busted or crinkled. It does not matter in the end of the day. 

Steve oinks by her feet, Toni looks to her side and shakes her head  “Do not give me that look, mister” She points a finger at him  “If you had this much thought you would be doing the same. Fuck piggy college” She breathes in before she sits down again on one of the kitchen chairs. 

Annie runs into the kitchen, a Winnie The Pooh plush in her arms as she sits at the table by Toni's side. 

“Why are you so angry?” She asks in her tiny voice as Toni stops punching her backpack and quickly moves over to the fridge and takes out a carton of milk, startled by the little girl's statement. 

“I am not angry” Toni laughs nervously and shakes her head as she pours Annie a glass of milk and the girl snuggles further into her bear “I am just tired of homework”

“But studying is good, you have to do your homework!” Annie tells her with wide eyes, homework _really is_ some serious shit. Toni grins at the dearing cuteness, brushing Annies hair back with her fingers. 

“I know, kid” Toni smiles sadly, before giving the girl a big smile, clapping her hands to get Annie excited “What do you want to do today?”

“Are you gonna have lunch here?” Annie asks shyly and Toni nods 

“Yeah, we are gonna wait for your dad, then we are having lunch and then he is gonna drive me home when you and him go out to the movies”

“Can I go to the pool?” Annie then asks excitedly and Toni laughs before nodding, placing both hands on top of the table. 

“Of course”

“Yay!” Annie laughs before jumping off her chair and running up the stairs to get her bathing suit like the little kid that she is. 

Toni goes inside the house and up the stairs to look out at Annie from the balcony of her room, once she is the in the pool. Toni leans onto the rail as she looks at the girl playingl, she then suddenly feels someone closing the sliding door behind her. Toni turns around to find Matt, an eyebrow raised at her “Why are you up here?” He chuckles “I am not paying you to watch her from afar...”

Toni rubs her arm “I am sorry, I just...”

“I am not scolding you” Matt laughs again “It's okay” He places himself by her side and Toni looks down, seeing Annie laugh as Steve runs around the pool, calling him in. Matt smiles adoringly at his daughter “What are you doing here?” 

“Trying to vent” Toni sighs 

“From?”

“Nothing, I guess...” 

“Are you and your dad still not talking to each other?” Matt asks carefully

Toni breathes in deeply “Why dont you ask him yourself?”

“Because there is always two sides to a fight”

Toni looks over to him and Matt raises her an eyebrow, wondering if she is gonna tell him anything 

“You are just gonna rat me out, arent you?”

“Oh please” Matt laughs “You do not have to tell me if you do not want to...”

Toni rubs a hand on her face, she curses herself inside. She cannot help but wonder if Mark is upset or mad at her, she does not know if the problem is Tom or Matt, or even her own mother. Toni closes her eyes and turns over to Matt. 

“You should ask him out” She tells him quietly. Matt abruptly turns his head to her, his eyes wide at the subject. Toni turns over and looks down at her own hands, a sense of fufilment washes over her, it is like the guilt has been lifted off her shoulders, but something else shudders inside of her, something she cannot quite grasp. 

She tries not to think about Tom. 

“What?!” Matt asks  

“I am not gonna say anything other than that...” Toni explains “He misses someone to share everything with, you know?” Toni continues. 

“Do... Do you want to talk about something else?” Matt asks and Toni looks up at him wondering “How are you guys doing?”

“Who?” Toni frowns 

“The band...”

“Oh! We are doing okay, I guess” She shrugs “We’re still after our first concert though”

“You guys already have original music?” Matt asks interested and Toni nods

“Yeah, we have a demo and everything” She says, suddenly happy about the new subject “It’s just a couple of songs, but it’s something already, you know?”

“Hm, can… Can you get me a copy of that?” Matt asks

“Sure! Sure, I can!” She turns around to put her hand in her hoodie’s inside pocket and takes a copy out “I carry them with me all the time” Toni explains as she turns one for the older man "There's also a few covers in there too..."

Matt examines the demo in his hands and taps her on the shoulder with it “You seem like a creative girl, I’ve seen Mark talk about music and he says you’re good. I know you are his daughter but Mark understands enough to not lie about that… So, I have this friend that owns a bar that simulates the concert experience and everything…”

“ _The Sound Waves_ ” Toni nods, knowing where Matt is talking about “We’ve been there, they say they are all booked over the summer, we have an appointment set for a hearing to see if we can get a spot in like September or something” She shrugs, not too happy about it

Matt chuckles “I might be able to do something, actually… But I cannot promise anything!”

“You _what_?” Toni blinks, she slowly turns to Matt and frowns “Wow Matt, that’s… That’s amazing!” Toni jumps excitedly “I will be forever thankful, thank you!”

Matt chuckles “It’s okay, kid” He smiles as she hugs him “You deserve after taking care of Annie so much”

Toni smiles and shakes her head “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure”

“You ever think about sending Steve somewhere, you know… Nicer for him? Like a farm or something?” Toni asks and Matt sighs before nodding

“He’s been here for too long and I honestly feel bad that sometime he might be too big for the house…” Matt explains “I just haven’t looked anywhere, really…”

“Well, you should…” Toni smiles sadly and Matt takes another deep breath

***

Tom watches Jim pack his things with a sad look on his face, Jim notices from the bed and reaches out to caress Tom’s cheek “You don’t need to be here helping me” He says looking at his boyfriend with pity “You don’t need to do this”

Tom shrugs “It’s okay” He folds another shirt and Jim sighs

“You should go out tonight” Jim suggests, “It’s still a week away until I leave, you should go out with Mark, or Matt and David... We will have plenty of time to spend together later…”

“It’s okay” Tom chuckles, cupping Jim's cheeks and admiring his face, his eyes, his lips. Tom takes a deep breath “It really is, babe” He looks around, noticing this is all actually rather sad, he could use at least a quick break “Will you excuse me? I kind of need to make a phone call”

“Sure” Jim smiles and Tom gets up, leaving the room and walking towards the backyard. Tom slides the glass door behind himself to have some privacy; he grabs the phone and calls the familiar number.

“Hey” Mark smiles at the other end “What’s up, Tom?”

“Hey” Tom says quietly “What are you doing?”

“Oh, I’m at the movies, getting popcorn right now so you called right on time… And you?”

“At home” Tom frowns “Are you at the movies alone?”

“No, I’m actually here with Audrey” 

“Oh” Tom nods to himself “I just called to remind you about the appointment tomorrow…”

“Oh yeah!” Mark smiles excitedly “I can’t wait! Thank you so much for doing that…”

“Do you want me to pick you up? Since it’s on your hand you shouldn’t be driving cause it’s gonna hurt like a bitch…”

“Sure” 

“See you tomorrow, I’ll pick you up at two, then, alright?”

“Bye Tom!” Mark smiles and Tom sighs to himself

“Bye Mark…” He says quietly before hanging up.

***

Mark is waiting at the front lawn of his house, sitting at the curb as he waits for his friend to arrive. He sees the black SUV coming down the street and he gets up, smiling at the car as Tom pulls over, to which he climbs on the passenger seat

“Hey!” Mark smiles, looking at Tom

“Hey there” Tom smiles back “Are you ready?” He asks as he leaves the street, turning into a corner

“I think I am, I’m just a little bit nervous,” Mark shrugs further into his hoodie “Please tell me this is gonna be over soon. All this anxiety is killing meee!” He whines

“You’re still gonna feel like that for another two days, just don’t think too much…” Tom laughs and Mark shakes his head

“You say because it’s easy for you… Hey, you think we could go get some Sombreros after we’re done?” Mark looks out the window again, not looking at Tom, but not ignoring him either. Tom just smiles, he looks quickly at Mark and nods

“Of course”

It doesn’t take much longer for them to arrive at the studio, Tom parks the car nearby and him and Mark walk in side by side. Inside, there are two tables, one with a girl lying down and getting something done in the back of her leg, Tom notices a few rooms in the back as he walks up to the front desk “Are you here for an appointment?” The perky receptionist asks, tying her orange hair into a ponytail as she looks into a book behind her desk.

“Yes! The name is Mark, Mark Hoppus” Tom says quickly as Mark looks distracted at the paintings up the walls

“Oh, you’re going with Daniel!” She says excited, now getting up “Just gonna tell him you guys have arrived”

“Thank you” Tom smiles as she goes inside one of the doors, Tom turns around and goes up to Mark, who is still looking at the wall, he points at one drawing of a frog sitting on a leaf and turns to the older man “Sick, huh?”

“Would you get that tattooed?” Mark asks and Tom shakes his head

“No, but it still looks cool” Tom says and a door behind them opens, a short man comes from it back with the receptionist, he has a cap on his head and tattoos all over his left arm. He smiles at Mark and Tom as he comes closer

“Hey there, I’m Dan” He says with a smile, extending his hand for Mark to shake, he takes it. 

“I’m Mark, nice to meet you, Dan” 

“I’m Tom” Tom waves from behind his friend 

“Awesome!” He smiles "Come on, follow me" Dan says, Mark and Tom follow him as he goes back inside the room. 

"Aren't we doing this outside?" Mark asks as Dan pulls over a chair with an arm rest, gesturing for Mark to sit on it

"I figured you guys would want privacy since this is a tattoo that is going to take a while to make, and your first one as well, so I got the room reserved... I mean, this is your first tattoo, right?" Dan asks and Mark nods “That’s good, so you want it on your hand?”

“Yeah, an octopus” Mark smiles

Tom looks around the room, there are more drawings up the walls and the usual equipment for a tattoo parlor, along with a couch. Dan sits across from Mark with two sharpies, one green and one black, and also some clear film “Are you sure about the placement?” Dan asks and Mark nods

“Yeah, I am, I have been thinking a lot about this…”

“We have even drawn it on his hand with a sharpie to see if he would get used to it…” Tom explains, walking up to them. 

“I don’t usually accept doing walk ins or anything like that on the hands and the neck of people who still don’t have many tattoos…” Dan explains “It’s easier to regret and it fades fast so you gotta understand you’ll probably need a touch up every two years or so…”

“Yeah, I made my research” Mark replies “I have a friend with some tattoos on his hands and he told me about this… But you’re doing mine, right?” Mark asks concerned

“The idea is awesome and you made an appointment like two months ago so I trust you when you say you have been thinking a lot about this… I’m not gonna make you do like a bunch of tattoos on your arm just because I’m a bitch…” Dan laughs and Mark nods

“Thanks” He shakes his head to look at Tom, who seems now distracted by the paintings on the walls

“So, what I’m going to do is that we’re gonna draw what you want on your arm, then I’m gonna take this film, put it into paper so you can see how it’s gonna turn out and we can work into what details you want before I do the stencil and we get started, is that okay?” Dan explains showing him the plastic film and the sharpie

“Sure” Mark nods, putting his left arm out as Dan uncapped the green pen; he starts to trace the head around the back of Mark’s hand. Tom gets closer to Mark so he can look closely

“Gosh, that’s gonna turn out so cool” Tom laughs and Mark smiles

“It really is” He says, and Tom just admires the little giggle he does when he feels the cold pen onto his sensitive skin

“I see your skin is thinner than usual,” Dan points out “We can turn this into two appointments if you need… One for the outlines and in the next we can do the color…”

“Yeah, sounds good” Mark explains “I don’t know the pain yet but it sounds good so it doesn’t get too tiring…”

“I agree” Tom pipes in

“The skin is just weaker than usual so I would recommend you to contact us once it’s healed, it might take longer than usual…”

“Sounds good” Mark nods

“I’m sorry to ask” Dan then spoke up “But what happened?”

Mark sighs, “I injured it on a surfing accident when I was younger”

“I’m sorry about that,” Dan says a bit sad and Mark shakes his head

“It’s okay” He says and notices that Tom looks away, Mark turns his head to him “Hey” He says looking over to his friend. Tom looks back at Mark, giving him a sad smile “Thanks for bringing me here” He says and Tom smiles, sighing deeply, a little guilty

“You’re welcome” He smiles at Mark before he turns back to look at his tattoo again.

***

Mark hears the buzz of the machine, it is soothing somehow, and he knows he is going to keep hearing it in his head for days now. It is so numbing, he is almost sleeping, his eyelids heavy. Mark flinches with another heavy stroke of the needle.

“It’s almost over” Dan tells him soothing “Are you in pain?”

“Not so much anymore” Mark screws his face “It gets alright after this much time”, He says and Dan laughs

“You chose a very interesting place…”

“I noticed” Mark giggles, trying to ease his pain, gritting his teeth right afterwards.

He looks over to his other side; Tom is just staring at the work amazed as he held Mark’s other hand. “It’s turning out _so_ cool, Mark!” He says with the stupidest grin on his face and Mark smiles.

“All done” Dan smiles, pulling the machine away. Mark lifts up his head and looks at it, not daring to move his hand; he smiles at the octopus, and lets out a giggle “How does it look?” Dan asks

“Amazing!” Mark smiles even more “I love it!”

“You really do?” Tom asks, still firmly holding onto Mark’s hand and he nods again

 _“I did it!”_ Mark whispers to himself, out of his mind and both Tom and Dan laugh

Dan wraps some film around Mark’s arm after cleaning the ink and tells him instructions on how to clean and how to treat it, what can he eat and what he cannot and all that type of stuff.

“Just make sure you don’t go home by yourself tonight, you might feel a little bit dizzy…”

“I’ll take care of him” Tom interjects “We’re gonna eat and I’ll go to his house and put him to sleep…”

“Good” Dan smiles and Tom helps Mark getting up

“Thank you!” Mark smiles as they leave back to the reception

“You’re welcome big guy!” Dan smiles as he waves at the two men

***

Tom and Mark both decide to go get something to eat afterwards, they stop at Sombrero’s, their all-time favorite mexican food place.

"It stings!!!!" Mark whines as he holds his hand up "It stings, stings, stings, stiiings!"

"Mark, _it is_ going to sting" Tom laughs "I told you the healing was the worse"

"Ahhhh!" Mark whines again, but Tom just chuckles at him

“Okay, so remember you can’t eat bacon, ham, pork or anything of the type” Tom warns him “Also seafood, you can’t eat anything seafood! Avoid too much fat and chocolate, not that you can’t eat them, but just try to avoid…”

“I’ll remember, _mom_ ” Mark tells him as he admires his tattoo, which is swollen and reddish, and stinging like a bitch, but he already loves it.

“It’s beautiful” Tom smiles and Mark nods

“It sure is” Mark says proudly and then turns to Tom

“So, what’s up with you?” Tom asks, chewing on his burrito

"I have no idea if Toni told you this, but we had a huge argument last week" Mark sighs "Basically we have barely talked since, she is avoiding me. And I would be lying if I said I wasn't avoiding her too"

"She said something about it but wouldn't tell me why" Tom explains

Mark sighs and tries to change the subject "You?"

“Not much” Tom shrugs “Plans for Australia are going nicely, I guess…”

“That’s good. How is Jim?”

“Jim? Jim, is… Jim is okay” Tom shrugs

“I mean Jim your boyfriend, you know?” Mark laughs “Don’t try to act so inddiferent, what’s up with him? Is he excited for Australia?”

“He… He and I are breaking up, actually…” Tom says quietly and Mark’s eyes widen suddenly

“You are what?!?” He asks outraged “Tom, what the fuck did yo…”

“Hey!” Tom interposes “I did nothing, okay?” 

“I’m sorry” Mark tells him quietly, regretting to assume Tom did something wrong 

Tom takes a deep breath and places a hand on his forehead “He is moving to Milan”

Mark’s eyes widen even more “He what?”

“You heard me right, he’s leaving the country…”

“God, Tom, I’m sorry, I know how much you like Jim…”

“I know” Tom tells him sadly “You think we can ask the food to go and we can go to your house and get high?”

Mark laughs “Is that what you want to get over Jim?”

“Yes” Tom nods

“We’re gonna have to order more food then” Mark smiles as he picks up the menu again. Tom smiles back at him

***

It’s already late when Toni comes back from rehearsal, Frank tried to give her a ride back but she just decided it would be better for her to just walk back, even if it meant if she was alone in the dim light of the street. Of course Megan and Travis would never let her go by herself so she just snuck out...

As soon as she opens the front door of her house, she throws herself on the couch, her feet over the edge as she takes out her phone, texting Megan and saying she was alive and at home already. Toni frowns when she notices there is a message she had not seen before, one from Matt that he had sent about two hours before. When he did text her like that, it was usually to ask her if she was available at the time he needed, which she would always make way for him, even if it meant that she would have to rearrange rehearsals, she valued the opportunity he gave her even if he would always tell her the band and school should be priority.

Toni opens the message, but she frowns when she reads _"Call me when you can"_

Toni immediately presses the phone drawing on the top of the screen, calling Matt's number and pressing it against her ear to hear when he picks up.

"Hey!" Matt smiles into the phone as soon as he picks up "You finally called me, I was staring to get worried..."

"I was at rehearsal, I just got home" Toni tells him simply "What's up, Matt? You never ask me to call you... Is everything okay with Annie?"

"Yeah, Annie is great, I just put her to bed, actually" Matt explains "I needed you to call me because I actually have good news" He says and sighs, Toni can hear the smile in his voice "I got that concert you wanted!"

Everything stops, everything freezes. Toni slowly sits up as she feels her heart beating wildly in her throat

"You _what?_ " She asks carefully, too afraid to smile, it's too good to be true after all. 

" _The Sound Waves_ , the friend I have... I got you the concert there! I mean, it's an opening spot because it's really on time, but it's friday night, the house is usually packed..."

"Matt" Toni interrupts him "You have no idea, of how thankful I am! Oh my God!"

"You're welcome, kid" He laughs 

"No!" Toni gets up "Thank _YOU!_ Oh my God!" She shrieks as she lets it sink "Oh my God! That's _amazing_ news!"

"I know" Matt chuckles "You should probably go tell your bandmates that"

"Oh yeah!" Toni laughs as well "I will! Thanks, Matt!"

"I really need to go back to my painting now, so call me tomorrow when you're at rehearsal, alright?"

"Sure, sure, yeah!" Toni nods "I will"

"Unfortunately I won't be able to there on the day because Annie and I are taking a trip to New York, but I really want you to meet Jeff and sort it out with him before I leave, would that be okay?"

"Yeah, of course!" Toni says "It's a shame you can't come, though"

"I'll survive" Matt laughs "I have to go, kid"

"Okay, Thank you again!"

"You're welcome" Matt smiles as he hangs up. Toni stupidly starts to smile into her phone as she opens the group chat of her band, but she's interrupted when Tom comes in bursting the door open, him pratically carrying her father inside.

She frowns to herself as Mark throws himself on top of her

“What the heck is going on?” Toni asks looking up at Tom.

Tom takes a deep breath when Mark is not holding on to him anymore “First” Tom starts as he raises a finger at Toni “Subscribe you father into a gym. Second, check his hand…”

Toni frowns, she shoves her dad a little and her jaw drops when she sees the tattoo “You tattooed my father’s hands?”

“Hey! It was his idea!” Tom whines, pointing at Mark

“No, it was yours!” Mark raises his head and points at Tom with his right hand “I got a tattoo and look how pretty it is!” Mark smiles excitedly, showing it to Toni.

“Dad, it is, it is beautiful!” Toni laughs “You were so brave to do this”

“Sure” Mark nods and gets up, moving inside and going into his room. Toni frowns since this is the first time in over a week Mark has said more than two words to her. Toni then looks up at Tom “What’s up?” She asks

“Are you okay?” Tom frowns “Did something happen? You seem a bit shaken up...”

Toni starts to smile big as she looks at Tom "I just got our first concert!"

Tom's jaw drops "Really?" He asks, even more excited than she is "Congratulations, kid!" He says as he pulls her up for a hug and she laughs as he does so.

"Thanks, Tom" Toni smiles and nods. 

***

Tom feels his phone vibrating on his pants, he just decides to ignore it, turning it off and placing it on Mark’s nightstand as he turns back, Mark lights up his lighter into the small pipe Tom had bought not that much time before. He breathes it out and hands it to Tom, who does the same even if they've already done it countless times before just that night. 

“We should move to Jamaica” Mark says quickly and Tom laughs, raising an eyebrow at him “Don’t look at me like that, it sounds like a decent plan”

Tom just laughs more and shakes his head “Says the man who broke both heels trying to impress a 16 year-old”

“Hey!” Mark laughs, he sits up and pokes a finger onto Tom’s face, literally. Tom giggles when Mark's fingertip tickle his nose “You said you would never make fun of me for having a crush on you!”

“Shut up!” Tom snatches Mark’s hand away, a smile on his face as he turns to the nightstand, resting the stuff there and turning back to Mark, who now moves to lie down on the bed. Tom moves to do the same, resting by Mark's side, their shoulders touching but Tom tries to ignore it.

"You should really stay over tonight" Mark whispers "You haven't in so damn long"

"Well, you _do_ have all the weed" Tom laughs and Mark punches him on the arm, looking down at his tattoo right after. Tom giggles as he takes in the punch "What would you do if I said I was only friends with you from the beggining because you were way older and could get me weed and alcohol?"

"I would believe that it is a lie" Mark chuckles and looks over to Tom, maintaining eye contact with the older man "Everyone knows you were only my friend because of my mad bass and blowjob skills" He says amused and Tom bursts out laughing, turning to Mark as his friend chuckles at Tom's happiness "And I know that before you were kicked out of your first school you were that one kid who would sneak out of class to fuck Mary Jane in the parking lot so I am not surprised at all. You knew her before you knew me..." 

Tom just laughs even more, but it eventually dies down after a solid five minutes, Mark sighs as he looks at Tom, now upset. 

“You wanna talk about it?”

“About what?” Tom frowns 

“Jim?” Mark asks and Tom shrugs

“Not really”

"Why noy?" Mark wonders quietly "You seem hurt"

Tom turns on his side and looks at Mark, who eyes back at him "I just... I just know it's not like were couple of the year anyway... I just wish I had more time with him, we only lived together for three months" Tom clenches his jaw "Doesn't sound fair"

"I know" Mark sighs and reaches out his good hand to hold Tom's, the younger man doesn't notice at first but his breath gets stuck in his throat when Mark crawls closer, lying his head on Tom's chest.

Tom takes a deep one and sits up “I should probably go though" He says as Mark sits up as well, looking back at him "I’ll call an Uber and I’ll come pick the car tomorrow, is that okay?”

"Aren't you staying?" Mark asks, his voice hurt "We have barely hung out lately... I was being serious when I made that joke..." 

Tom notices how upset Mark is in his tone, he sighs to himself, this is really the first time in a long time he and Mark had really hung out and enjoyed themselves.

"I have to go back to Jim" Tom explains "I don't want to leave him alone right now"

"Oh" Mark nods "Sure, it’s fine, I understand... Thank you again for taking me today”

“It was my pleasure” Tom smiles as he turns away to leave the room.

Mark sighs as soon as his friend is gone, he gets up and changes into no clothes at all to get ready to sleep. Mark lies down on his bed, completely naked as he climbs under the covers, thinking everything over and admiring his hand, he then grabs his phone and calls the familiar number. It takes a few rings until the other person picks up. 

“Mark?” Matt asks in a groggy voice as he seems to be turning in his sleep, Mark giggles as he hears Matt turning on his lights with a click “It is late, what are you doing?”

“Nothing” Mark says before he starts to laugh histerically, Matt rolls his eyes amused 

“Are you high?”

“Nothing you can prove!”

Matt laughs “Okay, what did you call for?”

“For your mom!”

“Mark...”

“Hey, we should go swimming someday...”

“You are scared of the beach” Matt points out 

“We can swim in your pool, and... Eat brownies”

Matt laughs again “Okay, we can do that” He nods to himself “Now you need to go to bed”

“No!”

“I am going to hang up, Mark” Matt says and he can hear Mark pout in the other end somehow

“Okayyy!”

“Bye Mark” Matt smiles into the phone 

“Bye!” Mark grumps before he hangs up. 

***

Tom keeps driving, he tries not to look at Jim sitting on his side, though he’s also staring ahead, avoiding Tom just as much. Tom wasn’t feeling like he was about to cry, about to beg Jim to stay, Tom felt… Normal.

He sighs as he makes a sharp turn “So… At what time is your flight later?”

“I board for New York at midnight” Jim explains as he suddenly looks at Tom “Then tomorrow at lunch I board for Italy”

Tom nods “Sounds nice”

“It is” Jim smiles sadly, noticing they are almost at the airport. It was _not_ nice, international flights are _hell_ , Tom knows this better than anyone, especially when you need to stop somewhere to hop on another plane. Tom goes in and stops at the street, by the sidewalk to get in.

“Go ahead, I’ll go park the car” Tom tells him, unlocking the doors

Jim takes a breath “I think you should stay, Tom” He says honestly “Save yourself from taking me there…” He says with a light laughter

Tom sighs “Are you sure?”

Jim nods, sure of his decision “I am” He says and opens the door, placing a foot out “Thanks for bringing me”

Tom smiles, he and Jim take a nice look at each other and Tom leans in for a kiss, Jim kisses him back, but he quickly pulls away

“Bye” Tom whispers to him “I love you, Jim”

“Bye Tommy” Jim smiles “I love you too” He caresses Tom’s cheek before turning away and jumping out of the car, closing the door behind himself.

Tom stares ahead and tries not to think again, he flinches when he hears the trunk being closed.


	24. April 20th, 2017

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was really wondering something one of these days, that I am not one to listen to music when I write, but I always set up playlists for the things I am a writing, and I noticed that I have like +40 songs in my Chasing Hearts playlist (I swear to God it has never grown this much). 
> 
> I was thinking to myself if you guys would like to see a playlist for the story? Like, of course I would take some things out and filter them (Some of these songs are just inspirations to certain scenes or dialogues), and add comments, place them in order if I can and add any suggestions. 
> 
> So, if you guys are into that please let me know and please send suggestions and tell me what songs you think that fit and we'll see where that takes us. 
> 
> Thank you so much again for reading another chapter I love all of you <3

It’s night already when David and Matt park the motorcycle front of their house. They take off their helmets and drag it into the garage together, opening the door to the kitchen afterwards. David pours himself a cup of coffee and Matt sits at the table, pulling out his phone and going through Twitter. “Did Julio eat anything already?” Matt asks without looking up and David shrugs

“I left some food out in the morning but I’m not sure if he ate it…”

“Can you go check?“ Matt asks looking up at him with pleading eyes

“Sure” He looks over the door in the back to the service area, where he sees Julio’s empty plates and full kitty litter “Yeah, he definitely ate everything” David laughs and picks up his gloves and the shovel to take out the litter, he gets more food and more water, lying it out again.

“Thank you” Matt smiles as he puts his phone down and David comes back

“Where is he by the way?” David frowns as he sits at the table, across from Matt “He usually comes over when we get home…”

“Yeah, I was about to ask that…” Matt thinks out loud “I’m gonna go look for him” He says getting up “I’ll be back”

“Okay” David takes another sip of his coffee and watches Matt leave, he pulls out his phone and goes through his messages, posting a few pictures of his woodwork on Instagram and just looking at coffee brands, until Matt comes back

“I can’t find him” Matt frowns, looking around the kitchen

“Maybe he’s hiding somewhere?” David says and Matt shakes his head

“No, I looked… I looked everywhere”

“Maybe he just went out for a walk; cats do that all the time…” David says again and Matt sighs, “Remember he’s a stray cat after all…”

“The entire house was locked, Dave. I know he is in here somewhere… Can you help me?”

“Sure, buddy” He nods as he gets up and follows Matt out into the house

“Julio!” Matt shouts “Julio!”

“Come on, Julio. Show up!” David calls the kitty as he looks under the couch, between the bookshelves and behind the TV. His phone suddenly starts ringing and he rolls his eyes, it is a whatsapp call. 

“Yo!” David says quickly “I am busy, tell me what you want”

“Hm” The other person frowns at the end “David, this is George, from Dalmatian, how are you?”

“Julio!” David shouts again “Hey George! I thought it was Tom, I am sorry... Julio!”

“What are you doing?”

“Looking for the cat, we think he ran away....”

“Alright, can you give me Toms phone?”

“I am not in plac- You know what? Fuck it, I'll send it to you. Go straight ahead and have fun I dont fucking care”

“Tha-” George starts again, but David hangs up on him and throws his phon on the couch before looking behind it. 

David sighs and jogs up the stairs, he goes into his room and finds Matt in there, standing right in middle, looking under the bed and undoing his sheets “What are you doing?” He asks confused

“I know Julio likes to sleep with you so I figured he might be under the sheets or behind the pillows or something…” Matt explains “But he’s not here” He says sadly

“He’s not anywhere in the house either, I looked everywhere for him, including outside”

“Do you think he ran away?” Matt asks a bit more desperate “He doesn’t want to be here, he hates me anyway”

David laughs and shakes his head “Why? He doesn’t hate you!”

“He likes you better anyway…”

“No, he doesn’t okay? He loves you, Matt!” David laughs and hugs his smaller friend “We’re gonna find him” David chuckles again as he plays with Matt’s white hair “Okay?”

“Okay” Matt nods, burying his head on David’s chest, then he pulls back and David looks down

“What happened?” David asks and Matt raises a hand to put it over David’s mouth, who just stares down paralyzed at his friend, his eyes wide “Hmm!” David tries to protest but Matt only shushes him

“Stay quiet” Matt whispers and looks behind himself to David’s bedside table. He walks away and grabs the dark green vase that was on top of it “Wow, it’s heavy” He says before he takes his phone out and turns on the flashlight, putting it inside and seeing Julio on the bottom “Look where he is!” Matt laughs, showing it to David “He can’t get out!”

“Oh my God!” David laughs, looking inside “Try flipping it on the bed”

Matt walks up to the bed and turns the vase upside down, waiting for Julio to fall, but it does not change the fact there is an entire living cat inside a vase.

Matt turns it back around and he looks up at David by his side, waiting an answer

“My mom gave me that vase!” David whines

“We’re gonna have to break open the vase, Dave” Matt says with a smile and David whines again, taking the vase away from Matt’s hands

“Okay!!!” He pouts as he walks back to the garage with the vase on his hand, he places it on top of his working table and takes a deep breath “I can’t believe I am doing this” He says as Matt hands him a hammer, placing a hand on his arm to comfort him

“Just get him alive, please,” Matt says as David starts calmly and carefully breaking the vase into tiny pieces

***

The lights are bright outside as Toni looks out the window from her seat of the cold classroom she was supposed to be having class in, but instead some kids are doing presentations for the class. Oh, sorry, pardon her, they are standing in front of a slide show while reading something off sheets of papers in their hands in monotone. Toni rolls her eyes, teens make fun of kids for being shy when doing presentations but the ones who did fuck nothing were just okay at night.

One of the guys up there was feeling very uncomfortable by everyone else’s speech, and he was the only one without any aids, so it was obvious who had done the entire work and who had copied everything off wikipedia.

As soon as the presentation is over, the boy from before marches angrily towards his chair, pulling the cap of his hoodie over his head and sinking into his chair, mad at everyone else.

Toni sighs, that was her a year before, and now she barely recognized any of the kids playing soccer outside. She looks out again and eyes the other teens one more time, she leans her head to the side, looking at one girl’s hair, wasn’t she in the AV club last year? Or was she the main star of the spring musical? Toni frowns, why would any of the girls she think that is, be playing soccer? Is not like she was any dee-

“Mrs. Hoppus!” She hears someone yelling from her side and Toni quickly yelps loudly, the pencil that was in her hand falling to the floor, she closed her eyes and cursed herself, she would have nothing to write with for the rest of the day if the tip broke off. Goodbye sweet lyrics. She curses herself inside and blinks before giving her full attention to the sturdy woman with glasses standing by her side.

“Yes, Mrs. Stein?” Toni asks as she gulps dryly

“I don’t see any record of you doing this presentation…” The older woman explains as she looks through the papers in her hand. Toni sighs, it’s obvious because until less than an hour ago she didn’t even know there was one… “Where is your group?”

“Well, I…” Toni starts looking around, the kid from before - and everyone else, is giving her the attention the teacher wants her to get, waiting for the next lie Toni is going to tell to get out of trouble for not doing shit. “I was with the last group, but I decided to quit because you know…” Toni explains as she runs a hand through her long blonde hair, giving the woman a bright smile “That guy” She points at the kid who was doing the presentation before, the one who had done the work by himself, sitting in the further rows, closer to the board, the kid’s eyes widen “Him and I were the only ones actually doing the work” Toni puts both her hands together on top of the table and nods, showing good will.

“Which guy?” The teacher frowns

“The one with the brown hoodie” Toni points to the guy again

“My name is Gary” The kid says quickly

“I knew that” Toni shrugs “It’s always hard to pick up a new kid’s name, you know?” Toni laughs and looks at the teacher, trying to break the ice

“You know me since fourth grade” Gary answers “Your mom housed me in for an entire night when I fell off my bike in front of your house and my mother was out of town!” Toni just frowns at him, so he turns back and rolls his eyes before sitting foward on the chair again, clearly upset at her.

“Well, anyway” Toni shakes it off “I just didn’t feel like it was fair to him, he was indeed giving a lot of himself, so I decided to quit”

“But you need your grade” The teacher replies

“Can’t I just do the exam?”

“It’s fifty fifty, so if you want the fifty of your grade-” The woman continues and points towards the front of the classroom “You’ll need to present”

“I don’t have a slide ready!” Toni quickly shakes her head, but the teacher is already walking to her seat in front of the classroom

“You don’t need one” The woman smiles as she sits down, folding her hands on top of the desk, Toni feels the shade in her tone and sighs before getting up “Same subject as your previous group, I want you to tell us everything”

“Everything?” Toni asks perplexed, turning her head to the teacher, and the woman only nods

“For sure”

Toni takes in another deep breath, looking at her classmates as they paid attention to her, she wonders if she wouldn’t be so bitter, if at least one of them had said hi to her as soon as she walked into the classrom. She stuffs her chest with pride, and tries not to think too much as she gathers her courage to start speaking.

“ _Okaaaaay_ , so, the french revolution, you know?” Toni starts, rolling on her heels and moving back and forth as she stood in the middle of the board. “Liberty, Equality and Fraternity” She says slowly as she thinks something out, Toni purses her lips and looks at the class, all of them staring at her confused as much as she was doing the same to them. “The french revolution was the transition from Monarchy to the Republicanism which most of countries live under today, including ours” She says explaining out to the class. “It started when the french government was in debt and like, poverty was going all over the country and I know sometimes capitalism is a bitch and you can work in retail and make a sale of a thousand dollars but you will still get only ten bucks for the hour you worked, but in feudalism, you had to give everything you made back to the church and the royals in exchange of land to live on. The social and economical inequality was absurd, not that nowadays isnt but I hope you guys catch my drift”

“The revolution brought the end of feudalism, freedom of religion, the legality of divorce, which is still prohibited by the catholic church today, also the decriminalization of same-sex relationships and Jews and people of color were now citizens also. The revolution brought amazing things, I mean, women rioted over the fact they could neither buy food, or even _find_ food, there were bread shortages. They forced a church to toll its bells when they started the march to change the scenery of hunger and despair”

“So you guys know that one famous picture of that woman with the weapons and everything?” She asks the class “That is Marianne, she is one badass female icon and we never really talk about her…” Toni says and looks back to the class, where all the kids stared at her with confused looks “Did y'all know she is the face of the Brazilian _Real_ even though like 80% percent of their population thinks that it is a man… Oh!” Toni claps her hands “Also, each _Real_ bill has a different animal on the back, so like, we have presidents and they have her with turtles and birds and shit”

“Mrs. Hoppus!” The teacher exclaims outraged as a few kids in the class laugh

“Oh come on!” Toni whines “It’s not like she is playing with them in it, she’s all the way in France… And dead… And probably not even real, she can be a fictional icon and we will never know...” She points out

“Mrs. Hoppus, if you are not to take my class seriously, I suggest that you-” The woman starts, but is suddenly cut short by the school’s fire alarm, which echoes loudly in class, all the kids raise their hands to their ears, whining with the noise

"What is that?!?" One girl asks annoyed from the first row 

“That is the fire alarm! Come on, kids, let’s go!” The woman says as they all get up

“No, wait!” Toni tries to stop them as they all start gathering their things “I really think we should talk about this because even though this is a history class, we don’t get to really talk about important women in history and especially wom-” She starts desperately, but is interrupted by the ceiling water jet going off. Toni gets a hit on her head as she feels the water dripping from her hair _“Great!”_ She says to herself as the other kids all continue to scream and desperately try their way out of the classroom and the school.

Toni sighs when she is the last one standing in the middle of the classroom, not even her teacher waited back for her. She sighs as she stands being soaked under the jet, Gary being the only other one in the classroom, still in his seat and not at all freaked out.

“Thank you for standing up for me” Gary sighs before getting up and walking away. Toni follows him. 

***

The entire school was sitting down at the bleachers by the open football field, the majority of kids were wet, but Toni was soaked as she sat at the last step. Her eyes scanned down, looking for her brother, eventually she saw him with the girl he has been hanging out with too much lately and he excuses himself, coming up towards his sister.

“What are you doing here?” Paul frowns, Toni notices he is dry, he sits by her side “You’re soaked!”

“I was in the middle of a presentation, I guess that was a presentation anyway…” Toni shrugs “Why are you completely dry?”

“I was cutting class” Paul nods

“That makes sense” Toni laughs at her brother “So… Were you here already making out with Hannah?”

“Yeah” Paul smiles, looking down at the brunnete with a pink bow in her hair “It was weird to be sitting here and suddenly see all these wet kids running over”

Toni laughs “I can only imagine”  

“I asked her to prom, you know?” Paul adds

“Really?” Toni grins and Paul nods again “That’s great, bro! Congratulations!”

“Thanks” He says “Have you found someone yet?”

Toni shrugs “I don't have the obligation to take anyone to prom”

"Okay" Paul rolls his eyes and nods understandingly, looking back at the school, now surrounded by fire trucks “Where did you think the fire was?” He wonders

“I have no idea” Toni replies, until they see the sound equipment that was used for the big games going off, someone making silly noises to see if it was working. Eventually the school principal’s voice echoes through the field, startling everyone out.

“Good morning, kids. Right now is exactly 10:43 AM, I expect you have all behaved and set ground rules for the emergency breakthrough and I am here to explain a few things. First of all, what happened was a fire in the gym’s audio room, the equipment caught fire as the AV club was getting everything ready for our Prom in two weeks, fortunately, no one was injured. Second, the fire did enough damage in the gym and unfortunetly we are going to have to postpone Prom”

“What?” Paul asks, growing a bit mad as some other students have the same reaction, causing arguments around and a fuss, some scream and others even get up to try to do something

“Before all of you cause one big uproar” The principal continues, the kids take a while to calm the fuck down “There is nothing we can do about it, we could try to rent a place but we would have to fish out money we don’t have, to rent a place two weeks before… So the comitee talked and the decision made was to have prom after graduation, the date is yet to be decided but it’s probably going to be a week after that. The comitee will still decide if the yearbooks will come before then without prom photos, or after, but if that happens you won’t have the chance to talk to peers about it, so a decision about the book is yet to be made. More information will be released soon, the school day is over, see you all for class tomorrow” And with that he finished

“God, prom only after graduation” Paul says “Seems odd”

“I couldn’t care less” Toni sighs before getting up

“Hey” Paul calls her again as she is going down, Toni turns back to him, not too amused

“What?” She asks, her voice tired

“Do you want to go home like that? You are all wet, you can get a rash or a burn from your clothes or something” Paul explains as he gets up, eyeing her down

“Well, I do not have anyone to drive me home and dad is probably sleeping still right now” Toni rolls her eyes

“I would offer you a ride with Hannah but we will probably go to her dads house now and it is a bit far”

“Far like how?” Toni wonders and Paul shrugs

“Towards Del Mar or something, I guess, I have never been there”

“You think I can get a ride towards there anyway?”

“Sure, sis” Paul smiles before Toni turns back again, going down the steps with him.

***

Tom lies down in bed, tired and a hundred thoughts running through his mind. The sun is calm today as he looks it over his glass roof, he sighs to himself, he should get his ass up, take a shower and do some writing, and not lie in bed and overthink is broken-up relationship with a boy he knew from the beggining that would never stay forever. Suddenly in the spark of the moment he is disturbed by his phone ring and he groans to himself, he doesn’t really want to wake up today, or any other days since then. Tom turns on the bed and moves the covers so he can pick up his phone from the nightstand, he hooks it off the charger and places it on his ear, without looking at who it was.

“Hello” Tom says with a tired voice, his first words for the day, running a hand on his face.  

“Good morning Thomas” A voice with a heavy, thick accent spoke “My name is George; I’m speaking on behalf of Dalmatian Publishment and Production in Sydney, Aussstralia!” The guy says in an over-exagerated voice, extending at the end, Tom frowns.

“Oh” Tom quickly sits up “I… Good Morning George” He starts confused “Actually if you wanna discuss anything about my books, you have to go through my manager David, with Strange Times, we don’t really publish through big labels besides our own…”

The man laughs at the other end “I figured you would say something like that. That Thomas, always a hard catch” The man laughs and Tom frowns to himself, is this guy trying too hard or is it just an impression? Tom shakes his head and rolls his eyes “Actually we have a proposition, and we would like to offer it to you personally first before getting in touch with anyone else, even your manager”

“Look, I’m really flattered, but…”

“David himself was the one to give us your number, you know…” George teases

“Really?” Tom asks surprised, getting interested and trying to think of ways to kill his friend “You don’t say…”

“Thomas, I really need you to listen to this” The man continues “Please, I have been trying to talk to you in years, please just listen to me”

Tom sighs “Alright” He gives up, sighing as he runs a hand on his face, trying to wake himself up fully. I mean, the man was _begging,_ much like sometimes Tom did when he wanted interviews with key people or was trying to put his hands on information, he could at least have some compassion for the peer “I’m listening...”

Tom can almost hear his grin in the other end “We recently heard you are coming to Australia, and we have noticed the demand for your books here in the country is really popular, although your company doesn’t have the means to attend the entire continent, neither has its own base here, since everything is shipped off your warehouse in San Diego, that means that if someone is buying digital copies instead of physical one, they are basically cutting edges to the complete experience and the imagery your book holds. Plus, it cuts their possibilites and freedom to choose their product"

Tom nods “I know that, we’re trying the best we can but there’s so far we can go…”

“Well, we would like to change that”

“Kids in South America want to change that too but you do not see them saying `Come to Braz-`. Oh shit…” Tom says placing a hand on his forehead, he feels a headache kicking in    

“You have another book underway, right?” The man asks

“I’m not sure yet” Tom answers, “I have another sequel to my non-fiction but there is still a lot yet to go”

“Have you ever thought about writing a fiction novel?” The man asks

Tom scoffs “Of course I have,” He smiles, “I just don’t have neither the time nor the ideas for it, I have a character and a few thoughts, but not enough for it to be a story on a proper novel”

“Would you be willing to let us publish your books here in Australia if we conceived you time, money, means and help to write a fiction novel?” George asks, and Tom falls into silence, his mind processing the information

“What?” Tom asks confused “How is that supposed to work?”

“You would come to the land down under, and then we would conceive you a nice place of your choice to stay, under approval, of course. You would be paired up with an experienced, published writer and they would help you with whatever ideas or writing mannerisms you would need assistance with… Other than the fact that we would give you financial and publicity aids”

“But we are independent with Strange Times and the books we put out and everything else!” Tom explains “Singing under you would just be like calling myself a sell-out”

“You’re not familiar with our work, right Mr. DeLonge?” George asks and Tom frowns

“To be honest” Tom shakes his head “I have no flying clue”

“We are a multimedia company, we produce music, books, magazines, movies, but our differential is that we work with artists instead of just the media. We sign the artist, not the single material” George explains “Tom, we want you. We want you and your books and Strange Times; we want your YouTube expertise and your stories. The book distribution scheme would be very much like the same as it is in the US”

“That’s… That’s really awesome” Tom blurs out

“We also know you have a past with music, right?” George asks and Tom picks up in his ear something that seems like a folding page in the other end “Cheshire Cat, by Blink… You did vocals and guitar, right?”

“Yeah, I… I had a band when I was 16 to 18, and we released an album but that was it… Nowadays I play the keyboards sometimes and I have an acoustic guitar, but I’m not a musician,” Tom explains, shaking his head “I would probably shit my pants first before trying to compose something anymore”

“You could write music for us if you want; we just want to take Strange Times and all your projects under our wing for the time you are in the country, we know it’s a good investment and it’s positive to you and Strange Times as well. And you can keep your team based in San Diego, that shouldn’t be an issue, we would only host the website”

“But I’m only in the country for a month; you really want all that hassle for such a short time?” Tom asks curiously, scratching the back of his head “I don’t think it’s worth it like that”

“Actually Thomas, we want to sign you for 15 months,” George says and Tom falls silent

 _15 months?!?_ That is a hella long of a time

“That’s… That’s a lot, George!” Tom sighs, “I’m not sure I can do it”

“Well, if you have anything holding you down to America, you shouldn’t come, but you still have your scheduled flight and your trip no matter what. You can come spend a week in Sydney and we will figure things out eventually, you don’t need to give us an answer now, we can wait until you get here and talk more openly”

Tom sighs, “Sure, I understand” He says and nods, even though George cannot see him from the other side “Thanks” 

“Thank you, Thomas” George says and hangs up. Tom stares back at his phone as the screen goes black again, he places it on the nightstand again and lies down in bed, staring up at the ceiling, the sun still rising at the end of his roof window, he knows he has to get up. That man waited years to talk to him, _years_ , and he just drops a bomb on him like that.

Tom gets up and hits the showers, something washes over him that Jim is gone and Marks kids are gonna leave eventually, but it is not like it is going to change anyting about him or Strange Times and the way he faces life and his business as much as everything else, he just has to play along and hold on to his strings, play them gently or they can break. And he knows how far they can bend. 

He eventually gets dressed and moves over to the kitchen, where he sits down with his laptop to go back to writing his new book, he calls Matt to tell him he is not coming into work today and he looks at that one file on his main screen.

That one file that reads _NOVEL_ as a screen name. Tom sighs and opens it, his eyes scanning through what he has already written, he types in a paragraph and then another, soon enough his is lost in his own confusion.

He hears a noise coming from outside and the front door opening, he takes in a deep breath, he never wanted Matt to come over when he said he was not going to work today.

“Matt, I swear to God, just let me be” Tom whines as he gets up walking into the living room “I do not want anything today” He shouts and then stops and frowns when he walks in and sees Toni closing the front door behind herself. The girl soaked in water “What happened to you? What are you doing here?” Tom asks desperately

“The school got on fire” Toni explains, putting the single key in the table  “We had an early realease”

“What?” Tom laughs “Are you okay? Did anybody get hurt?”

“Just the gym, it was nothing. Everything is fine” She groans

“How did you get that key?” Tom frowns, pointing at the table

“A pet rock with a hole underneath? Really?” She asks incredulous and Tom scratches the back of his head ashamed “I was hoping I could use your keyboard, but can I take a shower first?”

“Sure, of course” Tom nods “You know what time is it?”

“About 11:30, why?”

 _“Shoot”_ Tom hisses to himself, he had just spent three hours working on a fucking novel, which was not even his original plan for the morning. He shakes his head “For nothing”

“Okie” Toni replies uninterested and goes inside towards the spare room, locking herself in there. Tom goes back into the kitchen and after a few minutes he starts hearing the melodies coming from inside, the keyboard being played with the growing practice he had both planted and watched grow himself. Almost mature and free to fly.

He is typing furiously when she comes back, he notices how she is dressed in Jims old clothes but he tries to not let it get to him, even if he still thinks about the boy all the time. She grabs herself some of the coffee Tom had made when he first started writing and she sat by his side, looking at his computer.

“Whatcha writing?” She asks curiously

“Hm, a novel, I guess”

“Really?” Toni asks surprised and Tom nods “Yeah, it is still pretty rough so…”

“30.000 words, that is _not_ a rough sketch” She laughs “Are you planning on publishing this too?”

“Who knows?” Tom shrugs, but then he slowly starts to smile “ _Maybe,_ yeah, that would be really nice” 

“I think you should do it” Toni smiles as she gets up, leaving the cup inside the dish washer “That would be pretty awesome”

“Yeah, I guess you are right” Tom smiles to himself “It really would be awesome”

“Good” Toni pats him in the back “I have to go now, I have practice” She says and points out the door, walking towards it

“Okay, see you soon kid” Tom smiles at her. 

Would it hurt, to at least give it a try?

“See ya” She smiles back before leaving. Tom sighs deeply to himself, gathering all the courage he has to open a google tab and search for _Dalmatian Publishment_

“Alright, buddy. Lets see what is your deal…”


	25. April 26th, 2017

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I hope you enjoy this chapter and all the sweetness around it and FINALLY this is happening!!!!! AHHHHH
> 
> I saw a picture online the other day that pretty much describes what I think the whole lake thing looks like and you can find it here http://68.media.tumblr.com/b7812210223d28b75473f08e2908b5fa/tumblr_inline_ol9mr8pd1g1tew9ls_500.jpg
> 
> By the way, who is excited for the grammys tonight!!! (I honestly haven't cared about the grammys since 2010). My bet says Panic! will win the category (Even if I really want blink to win sigh).
> 
> Anyway, let's go to the good stuff:

Toni walks out of the dressing room and scratches her back, she knows the dress looks good but she looks utterly stupid on it. Megan laughs when she sees it

“God, no” She shakes her head, getting up and walking towards her bandmate “You look like you’re the next in line for the sorority but you’re only going because your parents made you”

“That makes no sense” Toni grunts 

“It doesn’t matter” Megan pats the dress on her shoulder “Go put that sparkly one”

“I can’t afford the sparkly one, I stole fifty bucks from Tom’s wallet and that’s all I have”

“You will never find a dress with that” Megan shakes her head “Does he even know you steal from him?”

Toni scoffs “All the time, he just doesn’t say anything” She starts as she pulls the curtain close and takes off the dress. 

“Hey girls” Hannah smiles as she walks out of her own “What do you think?” She asks and Toni peaks her head out, looking at her brother’s date 

“Oh my God!” Toni laughs, Hannah was wearing her pink high ankle converses with a pale pink dress that spun around like a flower blooming. It was beautiful, her long brown hair flowing with it as she spun around in circles “Hannah! That’s gorgeous!”

“You should try it” Hannah suggests "It's on your budget"

"That would never go well on me, I am too tall for that" Toni smiles, still admiring her

"Oh!" Hannah exclaims, going inside her changing room and coming back with another dress in her hand "Try this one, it's a bit too large for me and it's the last one, but it's beautiful and slim, I think you'll like it" She hands the dress to Toni, who quickly looks at the tag 

"Look, It’s just a little over my budget!"

"I think you will be fine in it” Megan pipes in

“You think I should try it?” Toni wonders “I would never look good on that”

“Come on, Toni!” Megan whines “At least _try it on_ ”

"Okay" Toni rolls her eyes, going back inside. She comes out a couple of minutes later, her bleach blonde hair in a pony tail, Toni laughs as the dress glues up to her skin, showing her every curve, the neck line not too low and the back exposed but just a little.

"Gosh!" Megan opens up a big smile when she sees Toni "Kid, you look amaziiiing!" She sing-songs and Toni laughs  

“I love it” Toni whispers as she looks at herself in the mirror 

“You should get it” Megan smiles from behind her “I will round it up for you”

“No! Megan, I… I can’t accept it” Toni adds quickly, turning to look at Megan quickly

“You can and you will!” Megan cuts her off “It’s just ten bucks, come on, girl!” She whines 

Toni takes a deep breath before rolling her eyes “Alright”

“You know what would make that dress look even better?” Megan asks and Toni looks at her as she tries to unzip it herself “A date...”

“Great, when you find one let me know” Toni answers annoyed 

“You don’t have a date yet?” Hannah asks surprised “Nobody asked to go with you yet?”

“No, I… There was this guy from math but honestly, I didn’t feel like it so I turned it down” Toni grunts as she manages to open it fully "And I always see Dylan staring at me from the corner of his eye, and that was only when it was getting closer to prom. But I still think he wants to beat the shit out of me for punching him that day..."

“Speaking of punching Dylan, you know who doesn’t have a date to prom?” Megan starts and Toni gives her a look _“Frank”_

Toni rolls her eyes 

“Frank from your chemestry class?” Hannah raises an eyebrow “The pedostache?” She makes a grossed out face as she runs a finger under her nose, cringing at the image of the shave-less boy

“No, Frank is her brother” Toni countermarks “I highly doubt it, he is still mad at me”

“He’s not mad at you, he is just a chicken to admit he's wrong” Megan shoots and Toni gives her a look 

“Frank won’t go with me, he wouldn’t want to step into a scholar building, I am much sure of that” Toni replies as she walks into the dressing room again, walking out in her skinny jeans and dark red shirt again “That if he even talks to me properly again”

“You still have a month to figure that out anyway” Hannah pipes. 

“I can always go alone anyway” Toni breathes out as she picks up her dress, walking out of the changing station “It’s not a bother, really”

“Okaaaaay” Megan scoffs

“So, Megan” Hannah starts when they get ready to leave as well “Where did you go to school?”

“Well” Megan chuckles “I used to go to a private boarding school near New York, it was pretty fun, I actually got an early realease, I was supposed to be graduating now”

“Really? Wow, you sound smart” Hannah laughs 

“Not really my goal in life though” Megan shakes her head as they keep on walking towards the register “I would’ve stayed until the end if I wanted to go to college, but I just missed my brother, I figured he needed me here”

“I see” Hannah nods “It must’ve been dificult living there for so long”

“I liked it there, it wasn’t so bad” Megan shrugs “It was hell for Frank though”

Toni takes in a deep breath “I can imagine” She says looking down at her hands

“Are you planning on going to college?” Megan asks Hannah, who nods fiercely 

“Oh yeah, I am still waiting on my answer for Berkley, I really want to go there”

“Awesome” Megan nods 

“Have you made a decision, Toni?” Hannah wonders “About college?”

Toni frowns, but Megan is quick to step in  _“She doesn’t know yet”_ The girl whispers

“Megan!” Toni snaps and shakes her head, Megan only laughs for teasing her friend “I want to talk to my dad before making a final one”

“Well, and have you?” Megan pokes into the wound

“Not yet, I… I haven’t found the courage yet. I have an interview next week actually”

"And you're going?" Megan raises an eyebrow 

"I don't see why not, it's not going to kill me to just go and do the interview" Toni shrugs, finding herself avoiding to think about it just now. 

“When is your graduation, by the way?” Megan wonders

“Graduation is towards the end of May and Prom is a week after that” Toni explains and Megan nods “Why are you asking?”

 _“Next!”_ One of the girls at the register smiles at them and Hannah quickly jumps to it. Megan's attention turns to Toni again

“Are you doing anything tomorrow?”

“Not really” Toni shrugs as she scratches the back of her head, recalling plans to herself “Why?”

“Well, Frank said he has to work tomorrow during rehearsal and it is Jared’s day to be at Strange Times, so practice would be just the two of us. I actually have a tattoo appointment and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me instead…”

“Oh yeah!” Toni smiles excitedly “Sure, that would be great! I was actually planning to get a haircut too, you think we can do that afterwards?”

“Yeah, of course, we’ll have plenty of time, sis” Megan smiles eagerly

 _“Next!”_ Another girl at the next register smiles, but as soon as Toni is about to walk over, Megan takes the dress away from her and walks to the register, she has to blink before thinking about what was going on 

 _“Hey!”_ Toni objects, but then she feels her phone vibrating in her pocket, she yanks it out and looks at the screen, seeing Tom’s name flash on it. Toni sighs, she takes the fifty bucks from her pocket and leaves it on the counter by Megan’s side and she walked out of the store, answering it. 

“Hey” Toni starts

“Hey kid,” He answers her, a deep tone to his voice and she frowns to herself 

“Are you okay, your voice seem swollen up?”

“What does that even mean?” Tom questions 

"You seem tired"

"Oh" Tom nods “I want to talk something with you, you think we can meet up?”

"Actually, I'm busy today, I'm shopping for prom with a couple of friends..."

"What about tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow I'm busy too, I'm sorry, Tom"

"I see" Tom sighs "So, can I ask now anyway?"

"Sure" Toni shrugs, looking at her nails. Tom sighs nervously before he starts.

“I got a job offer in Australia” Tom tells her and Toni freezes. It sounds like a joke, she is pretty sure it is a joke, so she starts laughing “Why are you laughing? This is not funny”

“Oh yeah, _okay_ ” She laughs again “God, you’re such a comedian… Oh, I am leaving, oh!”

“Toni!” Tom cuts her off “I am serious!”

“What?” Toni asks, her voice going from loud and goofy to tiny and small with just one word, her heart stops for a while there. Suddenly the floor has no ground and she realizes she needs to sit down, she quickly looks for a bench, not finding one in the empty mall hallway, she just sits on the floor by the window of a store, a set of mannequins behind her “What do you mean?” She wonders confused "You're not going, right?"

“I got a job offer in Austraila and for that I would have to move there… To Oceania… Fourteen hour flight…”

“I know that! I’ve had geography classes, alright?” Toni answes sort of annoyed “I mean, you have your books and Strange Times, money was never a problem to you. Why do you need a job now all of the sudden?”

“Not all of us have jobs for money, kid” Tom breathes out “I know it is not the right time, but… But the thought is on my mind. It has always been, I mean, this is my new start…”

“A new start for what?” Toni asks, outrage starting to bubble on her, she was just so happy a few moments ago. It’s like going back home, putting on the dress that was perfect at the store but now they gave you the wrong size, but this is ten times worse “You have everything here!”

“Toni, I…” Tom breathes out, something hits Toni’s guts "I was just asking! Jeez!"

"You don't get to ask to me! You know how much that would hurt me!"

Tom sighs "I know" He tells her with pity "I'm sorry"

"Are you really really going?” Toni continues, trying to gain her composure again

Tom sighs, thinking it over, he doesn’t want to hurt her even more “Probably not” He says to make her feel better

Toni nods to herself “Good” She tries to calm herself down “What are you doing right now?” She asks, trying to change the subject

“Looking at things for the trip to Australia” He tells her “I need to see you before I leave”

She scoffs “Of course you’ll see me, there’s graduation and the concert… You’re coming right?”

“Of course, kid. I wouldn’t miss it for the world…"

“I know” She smiles sadly

“I need to go now, alright?” Tom tells her and Toni nods

“Sure. I…  Please don’t do anything stupid” Toni breathes “Listen to your heart, okay?”

She tells him even though it pains her so hard

Tom smiles sadly “You too, kid” And with that he hangs up.

Toni brings down her phone and her lockscreen lights up, it being a picture of Frank giving her a death glare as he stood behind the counter at starbucks with a drink of hers in his hand as he got ready to give it to her. She smiles warmly at it and sighs to herself before she hears bags rustling near her. She looks up and see Megan and Hannah with bags in front of her 

“Do you want to eat?” Megan raises an eyebrow 

“I’m starving” Toni says with all the strengh she has before pulling herself up, Megan extends a hand and Toni takes it. 

"Where is Hannah?" Toni asks as she wipes the butt of her jeans 

"She saw shoes and she wanted to look at them" Megan explains "Hey can I ask you something?"

"Sure" Toni shrugs 

"Do you want me to stop pushing you and Frank together?"

"What do you mean?" She frowns 

"Well, I know I have been making remarks about the two of you being together since that one night Jared took us out, but I am doing it because I saw what happened and I think you guys would be really good for each other, I am not saying this just because he is my brother, you know that, right?"

"No, yeah, of course" Toni nods 

"I have seen you get uncomfortable a few times and I am really sorry, I do have to start measuring my words, but..." Megan sighs "Nobody ever wants to be with Frank, you know? He struggles a lot with himself and who he is, nobody wants to date a trans person, it's not... People don't usually feel comfortable or don't get it, sometimes I overprotect him but it's just because I want to see him happy, you know?"

Toni sighs, thinking her words out carefully as she looks at her converses "Megan, do you really think that what happened that night, was _just because_?" She asks and then looks up at Megan "You think I would've let that happen if there wasn't anything?"

Megan blinks, she licks her lips and shakes her head "No, I... I don't think so" She adds as she puts her hands on the jeans of her pockets.

Toni slowly starts to nod "I need time, I need time to decide what I want from life and from dating someone and... I don't want any pressure, okay?" She asks, raising her eyebrows "Because if things don't roll as planned it's going to be hell, and I don't want him to get the wrong idea from anything, I don't want to give to take back, you know?"

"I know" Megan sighs before nodding "I'm sorry"

"It's okay" Toni smiles sadly and punches Megan's arm playfully "It's going to be alright" She sighs before they see Hannah walking out of the store with a new set of shopping bags. 

***

The next morning, Mark stops his car in front of Matt’s house, already stepping out with his sunglasses over his eyes. He walks up to the front door and rings the bell, waiting to be answered. Matt opens the door a few seconds later, smiling happily at Mark “Hey dude, you came!”

Mark frowns when he notices Matt’s attire: Only a pair of cargo swimming pants. Mark laughs and brings his sunglasses to the top of his head with a laugh “What are you wearing?”

“Well,” Matt chuckles “We were going swimming today, weren’t we?”

Mark’s eyes widen “Swimming?” He scoffs “I never agreed to this!”

“Yes you did!” Matt laughs like it’s something obvious, Mark shakes his head “In fact, you were the one who suggested it”

“Matt, I don’t swim!” He tells it simply

“You were high...”

“Oh shit” Mark shakes his head “I knew I had to be high for this”

“There is no way you are stepping down now!”

“I hate you” Mark laughs “That was like two weeks ago!

“Yeah, I know, but I will never let you get away with promises you cannot keep” Matt nods “You didn’t bring any clothes? I can borrow you some” He explains as he walks inside, not waiting for Mark's answer. He follows Matt inside and closes the door behind himself, but he stays in the living room while Matt bolts upstairs. He comes back a few moments later with a duffel bag in his shoulder, urging Mark to follow him outside now that he was wearing a shirt too “Come on, I already got your stuff”

Mark sighs before walking again

“You better take me somewhere nice” He grumps as he sits on the passenger seat, looking out the window. Matt smiles amused at his friend and shakes his head.

***

Mark breathes out heavily and Matt laughs as Mark stops and tries to gather his energy together again

“Come on!” Matt whines “This is an easy trail!”

“For you!” Mark shouts and Matt smirks amusedly as he shakes his head, walking closer to Mark and urging him to go the extra mile “I never once agreed to this, did you make this up?”

“Yes, Mark. I made up the lake” Matt replies mockingly as he points behind himself “ _Come on!_ Just a bit more so we can have fun and not be sweaty anymore, how about that?”

“Oh, I like that!” Mark breathes in deepily before starting to climb again, it still takes a couple of minutes until they reach the smaller trees that make way for the enclosed lake. Matt keeps his eyes on Mark’s face as soon as they reach the top, trying to see his reaction. The smirk slowly grows on Mark’s lips as he stares mesmerized at their surroundings “Wow!” He says breath-taken “This is beautiful”

The lake had dark blue water and trees everywhere, it would stretch over to the end and behind a giant rock where a couple of waterfalls would come down. The top of the trees were full of green and brown leaves, Mark hadn’t seen so much natural beauty in ages. “You like it?” Matt asks from behind him, Mark turns around to look at his friend as he removed his shirt, waiting for Mark’s answer

Mark slowly starts to nod “Yes, I do” He says with a dorky smile on his lips. 

“Is your tattoo all healed now?” Matt asks curiously and points to Mark’s left hand. The older mand looks at his own arm, it has been a about a week since it had stopped itching and being red and scary, his tattoo was now perfect, he looks at it adoringly and makes a mental note to get another appointment soon. Mark nods.

“Yeah, it is”

“Good” Matt smiles and Mark takes off his own shirt, throwing it on top of the duffel bag Matt had brought with him and that was now placed over a rock safely. When he turns back, Matt is already inside the water, enjoying his refreshment. Mark takes a deep breath once Matt dives in further into the lake, his ass being the last thing to submerge.

Mark smirks and follows along.

The water is calm and refreshing, as he walks into it too, his sweaty and heated body immediately feels comfortable by the cool water and Mark has to hum contently when he immediately feels refreshed. Matt laughs as he swims closer “Now you’re having fun, huh?” He asks and Mark nods

“Now we’re talking good shit” Mark submerges and gets his hair soaked into the water, when he comes up again, he only peaks his eyes out the water, staring up at Matt, his blue eyes smiling at the younger man

“What?” Matt asks as he smiles back

Mark quickly raises his head out of the water and lets a water jet out from his mouth, spitting the water into Matt’s face

“Mark! God! That’s disgusting” Matt whines as he throws water into his own face, but Mark only laughs

“Come on, let’s get closer to the fall” Mark taps him on the back as he swims further into the lake. Matt shakes his head and follows the older man.

Moments later, Mark is sitting by a rock near the water, his feet dangling into it lightly, making splashy noises as he watches Matt jump into the water repeatedly, his tattoos shining under the sun. Mark just let himself be comfortable, he knows that any radical move inside the water, or near water, or any thought about being reckless with water, would set him straight into a panic attack, and that’s not what he wanted, not at all, at least not when Matt is around, not when everything is this quiet and peaceful and he knows he just needs to enjoy the moment.

Matt eventually gets tired and swims closer to Mark, his blonde hair setting atop his head when Mark smiles at him. He thinks over what Toni had told him about a month before in the car. He has a hell of a crush on Matt, and as much as he tries to deny it to himself and try not to say it outloud -That would only confirm it after all-, he knows it’s true. He catches himself thinking about Matt’s smirk or the way his eyes smile when they’re talking. The way Matt will lean closer to him at times when they were talking, and Mark would catch himself scared that Matt would kiss him right there.

Mark takes a deep breath as Matt stands before him as he sits on the rock, the water dripping from his beautiful body. Mark leans his head to the side, waiting for what Matt had planned next “Had you been here before?” He wonders and Matt nods

“Only once, was when I found it doing the track” Matt points behind himself, toward the direction they had come from before “Haven’t been in the water though, I thought you might like it here”

“Me?” Mark laughs, pointing at his own chest “The guy who hasn’t stepped on a beach in over twenty years?”

Matt shrugs “I figured it might be nice”

Mark sighs, swallowing his pride “It is. It really is, Matt”

“I know” Matt smiles up at Mark as he reaches out to touch both Mark’s legs, letting himself come in between them and pulling Mark closer to him “You have been kind of distant lately…” He points out.

Mark sighs “It’s just the whole thing with Toni, I guess” He explains as he looks down at his own hands “It has been bugging me a lot. The whole discussion and the things she said, you know?”

“Is she still mad at you?” Matt asks quietly and Mark shrugs “You can try talking to her, I bet that she really isn’t”

“I think she’s scared to talk to me…”

“Why?” Matt asks, stepping closer

“Maybe because of you, I don’t know... Because of college, I am not sure.”

“Why me?” Matt laughs “She thinks nice of me, doesn’t she?”

“Of course” Mark chuckles “You know how much she likes you... It has nothing to do with who you are, really…”

“What is it then?” Matt asks and Mark opens his mouth, thinking of an answer, but nothing comes out and in the end, he just shrugs at Matt “Can I guess it? If I kiss you?” Matt voices out and Mark frowns, now noticing how close Matt suddenly is. The leg grabbing, the pulling and the walking closer each second, Matt calculated this and he knows because Matt’s thin lips are just a breath away. Mark takes in a deep one, one that is shaky enough to give away how much he actually cares about him, about this moment, and how nervous it makes him.

Mark doesn’t answer anything, instead, he is the one to lean in and close their lips together, kissing Matt tenderly, nervously, a bit scared and shy. Matt smiles into the kiss and pulls himself closer, making their chests touch. Mark pulls back and leans his forehead against Matt’s, who doesn’t open his eyes as he processes everything.

“I… I’m sorry” Matt starts as his hands move to Mark’s legs, ready to push him away, but Mark’s hands are quick to jump over his, keeping them where they were. Matt looks up at him again

“It’s okay” Mark says in a dry voice, a lump on his throat “I am not gonna run away this time”

Matt breathes out relieved “Really?”

Mark smirks and nods “Yeah” He says before leaning in to kiss Matt again, capturing his bottom lip between his own, and he smiles when he hears Matt hum contently into the kiss.

***

Matt and Mark lie down in the water, keeping their bodies afloat as they stood side by side, holding each other’s hands and just appriciating the moment as they watch the sunset behind the rocks in the distance. Mark thinks to himself about how romantic everything is right now, about how chill and calm they are, how long hasn’t he watched the sunset with someone just like that, savoring the moment they have together. Matt then squeezes his hand tighter

“I think we should go on a date” He says quietly, but doesn’t say anything afterwards, he just lets everything sink in Mark’s head.

“You really think so?” Mark asks uncertain

“I do” Matt nods “Like, dinner and drinks and hanging out, you know? The whole preppy thing…”

“Oh”

“Yeah…” Matt points out “I mean, it’s okay if you say no…”

“I…” Mark thinks for a while “I would actually love it!” He says before giving Matt a huge smile, the water splashing with his movements to match the happiness he wants to hide so bad.

Matt smiles back surprised “Really?”

“Yeah, I mean, why not?” Mark shurgs

“Just… The only thing is that Annie and I are gonna travel to Chicago and see my family in a few days so then we can go in a couple of weeks when we get back”

“Sounds like a plan” Mark smiles “Wait, so you are not going to Toni’s concert?”

“I actually come back the morning after her concert, on friday... We can go out that night...” Matt tells him and Mark nods “I’m actually surprised you said yes, you know...” Matt chuckles

“Yeah, I like you, so what’s really the problem?” Mark shrugs, facing forward again, turning his gaze away “And I know you like me back…”

“Who told you that?” Matt laughs

“Well, isn’t it obvious?”

“ _Aye_ , indeed captain!” Matt says making an accent and Mark laughs again.


	26. May 4th, 2017

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fucking miss JIm

“What do you think about this jacket?” Mark asks as he walks out of the walk-in closet and goes up to Audrey

Audrey sips on the glass of wine on her hand, feeling her skin on the soft quilt of her bed “Looks good, finally seems like you’ve picked something nice, huh?”

Mark sighs, “Like, I’m sorry I don’t know how to shop without you, alright?” Mark groans, turning to the set of shopping bags lying around the floor of Audrey’s room “God, I can’t believe I’ll have to return almost all of these!”

“Maybe if you weren’t trying to avoid your daughter so bad she could’ve gone with you” Audrey makes a snark remark and Mark gives her a deadly glance

“Oh yeah, because Toni has great taste”

“I can go with you tomorrow, okay?” She tells him as he throws himself by her side on the bed, he pouts at her “We’ll get you nice clothes, instead of three of the same cargo pants” Mark scoffs and smiles, Audrey runs a hand on his neck and laughs, taking another sip of her wine “Why are you buying all these clothes for anyway?”

Mark gets up and starts folding the rejected clothes that were thrown on the white couch beside her bed “Because I have a date next Friday” Mark looks at her, trying to not give away his smirk

“Hmmm, nice” Audrey laughs, “So that’s why you don’t wanna do it with me anymore, right?”

Mark laughs too “Pretty much”

“So… Who is she?” Audrey asks, reaching for the wine bottle on her nightstand again

“It’s… It’s not a she, It’s Matt”

 _“WHAT?”_ Audrey asks after heavily placing the wine bottle back on top of the table with a loud thud after filling up her glass again, Mark’s eye widen and the sudden noise “You are going out with _your boss_?!?”

“Theoretically my ex-boss” Mark explains

“Still, he’s your superior somehow...”

“In a porn movie company!” Mark laughs “It doesn’t matter! I mean, look at us!” He points between himself and her and shakes his head, Audrey sighs. “Look, I like him, so I am going out with him, alright?” Audrey looks more patiently at Mark and frowns “What?” He asks annoyed

“Are you really sure about that?” She asks frowning

“I make things awkward, you know that’s what I do” Mark scoffs, throwing himself on the bed again "I really want things to work out with Matt…”

Audrey sighs, sitting by his side and rubbing circles on his back, trying to comfort her friend “You know what are you and Matt doing?”

Mark smiles and shakes his head “He doesn’t want to tell me” He breathes out, smiling at her “And it’ll still take a while to find out”

“I see” Audrey smiles back

“I think I need a bit of that wine of yours…” He says grabbing a glass for himself as Audrey laughs.

***

Tom sits on his kitchen table, looking into the distance, reading a book, a cup of warm coffee on his side, the emptiness of the house swalling him whole like it does every morning when he is just too sad or tired to go to work. Nothing more than just a rainy day outside, he wishes someone would be there to hold him right then; he longs for Mark and misses Jim. He takes a deep breath and closes his book, curling further into his hoodie.

His cellphone starts ringing and he frowns at the international code, but he picks up

“Jim?” He asks into the phone

“Hey, Tom, hi!” Jim says a bit sadly, Tom can almost see him with a lowered head right now

“Jim! Hi, what’s up? You haven’t called in weeks!” Tom smiles “How are you? I miss you so much!”

“I didn’t think you would be open with me at this time” Jim chuckles

“Well, I’m lonely and sad, and I know that whatever words I say now won’t change anything about you and me, so please let me be that one guy that calls drunk to his ex”

“You’re not drunk” Jim laughs

“I don't care” Tom laughs as well

“I just wanted to talk, would that be okay? Do you have time right now?”

“Sure!” Tom gets up, walking around the room. “I only have plans for later tonight, but it’s still pretty early here” Tom explains, he knows Jim can hear the smile on his voice.

“Tom… I, I have something to tell you, I have to confess something to you"

"What is it?" Tom frowns

"I… I cheated on you,” Jim tells him, letting the silence fall, Tom's lips open, as if he was going to ask something “I cheated on you and I feel so bad about it”

“Jim, you didn’t cheat!” Tom laughs “We broke up for a reason”

“No, I cheated on you before moving away” Jim explains

 _“Oh”_ Tom frowns surprised “You… _God_ , Jim” Tom sighs, he sits down on the chair he was sitting on just before. He doesn’t want to admit, but it feels like a knife is plunging into his chest “Why are even you telling me this?”

“Do you want to know?”

“Do you want to tell me?” Tom asks nervously

“I do” Jim nods on the other end “I feel like I should be fair to you”

“Hm, okay” Tom sighs “Go ahead”

Jim chuckles sadly “It was this guy I met when I was living in Florida, he… We dated for about a year and I was stupidly in love with him until he got transferred to Switzerland and we had to break up” Jim explains

“So, you two have known each other already?” Tom asks carefully

“For ages, really” Jim goes on “Anyway, I moved to Washington to try and forget him, and that was where I met you, so you know how the story unfolds from there… How I moved to California trying to get after you and everything”

Tom smiles a bit too sadly to himself. He remembers the times he would make up excuses to go to DC just because there would be a cute tourist guide waiting for him, how he would buy things for Jim he never once asked, how he would laugh whenever the boy did something clumsy on accident because he knew Tom was looking, and he would blush madly for that. He remembers how easy falling in love with Jim was, he remembers the days they would stay inside for rainy nights in fancy hotels and order room service. He remembers being scared because of their age difference, scared to be holding him down. Tom remembers his tattoos and his smell, his nice little giggle, the music he would listen to in his tiny apartment for the seven months he had been transfered before they moved in. Tom wanted more of that. 

Tom nods “Yeah I know”

“Anyway, he’s still living there and we met a few times since I moved to Milan and… Things have unfolded from there again, I guess” Jim smiles, Tom notices the happiness in his voice tone “But anyway, he was in Canada visiting when I went there for Christmas and some things happened…”

“During Christmas time, huh?” Tom asks a bit sad, his finger running circles on his kitchen table

“Yeah” Jim tells him sadly “Right after I told you I wanted commitment. I’m sorry for cheating on you, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before”

Tom sighs “Are you with him now?” He asks carefully

Jim sighs as well “I… I left knowing I wasn’t ever going to see him again, you know? But… But when I got here I realized he’s everything I need, Tom. I… I think I love him, I still love him”

“God, Jim” Tom says with a smile on his face “That is so amazing, I’m so happy for you!”

“So… You’re not mad?”

“No! I… That was exactly what I was expecting for you; to find someone you can call your own, all right? I want you to be happy! I know that wouldn’t be with me in the story”

Jim chuckles “You know you’ll always have a special place in my heart, right?”

Tom laughs “Of course, and so do you, hon” He sighs and then looks around “And I also need to make you a confession, if it’ll make you feel less bad, I guess”

Tom can almost hear Jim frowning on the other side “Well, what is it?”

“I… I have also cheated on you” He sighs “And it was right when you were in Canada”

“Really?” Jim asks surprised “How did it happen? If I can ask, of course…”

Tom laughs and shakes his head “Jim, it was Mark” He sighs “It was Mark…” Tom says sadly

“Oh” Jim smiles “Well, isn’t that a surprise?”

“What do you mean?” Tom frowns, weirded out by what appears to be amusement on Jim’s tone

“Well, you and Mark aren’t exactly the most abstinent couple of friends, am I right?” Jim laughs “Tom, every time you laugh at something he says, every time you smile at his face, every time you hug him… I can see it, alright? I can see that you love him and that you always have…”

Tom chuckles “You know me so well”

“Does he like you back?”

“He said he loved me”

“Tom!” Jim whines “What did you tell him?”

“I didn’t tell him anything, okay? I just think we weren’t ready after so many years and we had so much to settle in our private lives before trying to get back into a relationship with each other…”

“What do you mean, _back into a relationship_?” Jim asks annoyed

Tom chuckles “Mark and I dated when we were younger; it was no big deal…” He shrugs

“How long were you together?”

“Two years…”

“Fuck Tom! Fucking _cock_!” Jim yells, “ _It is_ a big deal!”

“Don’t tell me that!” Tom shakes his head “Look, don’t do that, Jim”

“Do what?”

“Try to convince me I should go after Mark!” Tom whines “I know I should stand my place”

“Look” Jim starts carefully “You’ve been crushing on this dude for what?” Jim stops and thinks “God, Tom! You’re after this guy for twenty years! Even more than that!” Jim takes a breath “He’s just as stupid as you are and I hope both realize you are two stupid people who deserve each other. You can’t run away from this, Tom. You either end it now or it’s going to continue hunting you for another twenty years, now do you want that?”

Tom shakes his head “Jim!”

Tom can hear Jim sighing at the other end “I’m sorry”

“Don’t be” Tom sighs as well

“Call me on this number when you want to talk again, alright?”

“Of course. May the fourth be with you” He says and hangs up, Tom stares at his phone until he grunts heavily, throwing it on the table. 

 ***

Tom arrives at the pub and parks his car on the street. A van is parked on double lanes as a few men carry stuff out of it, musical instruments mostly; he guesses that is the band’s new van, at least from one of the bands playing tonight. 

Tom locks the car and walks in before he looks around, he hasn’t been here since he started dating Jim oficially. The space is quite large with tables at the entry and by the left side there’s a bar with lots of stools, at the back there’s a depression on the level of the floor and quite a large empty space, and at the end, a stage, where the men who were on the van are carrying the stuff to now.

There is not a sign of Toni or Jared around. They said they would meet with him there to let him help with whatever he could. Tom keeps looking around until his eyes fix on a peculiar table by the bar. Tom gets closer; he notices that Travis has now seen him and the heavily tattooed man waves and smiles at him. Mark is sitting by his side, taking a sip from what seems to be a margarita, Tom can only chuckle as he approaches.

“Tom?!?” Travis gets up, Tom smiles at his old friend coming up for a hug and Tom hugs him back.

“Trav, my man!” Tom smiles as he and Travis bump fists afterwards, then he turns to his best friend “Why are you drinking at this hour?” He wonders as he takes a seat next to Travis, opposite from Mark.

“Because it’s none of your business” Mark chuckles and Tom makes a face, Mark makes another face back at him, sticking out his tongue. Travis just stands confused between them.

“That is not what your mom said to me last night”

“Are you sure it wasn’t your dad?” Mark asks as he sits up straight and places the glass on the table “I thought you weren’t coming in until later” Mark explains now casually

“I came in early to help, but I don't see any of them around”

“Jeff, hm, the owner here, he actually signs in the equipment, it’s all from here and they only brought in a couple stuff they needed in Frank’s car already. They went out to eat something and will be back a couple hours before the show, we are just here drinking before going home” Travis explains

“We need our old man naps” Mark pipes in eagerly

“So I came here for nothing?” Tom asks and Mark raises his hand, calling the waiter, though he doesn’t come as quickly as expected

“Trav is mad at his niece because she got a tattoo” Mark laughs drunkenly, pointing at his tattooed friend 

“I am not mad at her!” Travis protests with his usually quiet voice “I am just upset because she did not tell me and I just wanted to be there”

“So you are mad that she hid the tattoo from you?” Tom frowns 

“She did not hid! She just did not say anything, so I am making her get another one this week” Travis explains and Tom chuckles

“Good way to punish a teen, have them get a tattoo” Tom shakes his head

“Hello!?!” Mark suddenly ignores the conversation and shouts towards the bar, a sturdy man walks up to them

“Sir, we are not even open yet, we’re just handing you drinks” The waiter explains

“I want three margeritas for me and my friends” Mark explains, obviously a bit tipsy already as he hardly places his hand down on the table

“I can get you a beer, or tap water”

“Bring some aspirin, please” Tom adds

“We are not a pharmacy” 

“Beer, please” Mark sighs and the waiter quickly turns away, heading back to the bar

“Mark, I think we should go home after that drink, okay?” Travis says placing a hand on Mark’s shoulder carefully

“You go home!” Mark whines

“I can’t let you drive like that!”

“Okay!” Tom starts as he raises both hands up “Trav, you can take his car back to your own house and bring it back at night, I’ll drive him home and we’ll come in an Uber or something…”

“Alright” Travis nods “Come on, give me your keys” He says as he makes a hand grabby movement towards Mark

“No!” Mark whines again, Travis only sighs as grabs them from Mark’s lap, sighing before walking away

“See you guys at night!” Travis waves as he leaves the establishment

“See you!” Tom waves him back

“If you wanted my dick you could’ve told me!” Mark shouts back at Travis, who gives him the finger, Tom only laughs.

***

A couple of hours later, Tom and Paul sit at the Hoppus’s household dinner table in the kitchen, playing a card game.

“Your turn” Paul says as he places a card into the pile, Tom takes a look at it and raises an eyebrow at Paul  

“Are you really sure you want to do that?” He asks and Paul sighs before nodding, Tom smirks before placing another card into the pile, leaving only one in his hands _“Uno!”_  

Paul sighs tiredly “You have the Joker, don’t you?”

“Yes!” Tom says in one loud squeal, showing Paul his card and throwing it on the pile “How did you know?”

“Because you picked it up on the last three rounds and you always save it for last!” Paul whines, a bit amused as he collects the cards again “If I didn’t know you any better I say you were cheating!”

“You can’t know that!” Tom protests

“I said that you were not that I _thought_ you were”

Tom drops the fake smile and sighs “Just on the last one” He says defeated and Paul laughs while shaking his head.

“The concert will start in less than two hours” Paul pipes up as he puts the cards away, getting up and grabbing himself a glass of water “We should really get going”

“Alright” Tom nods and gets up “I will go wake up your dad” He walks inside and towards Mark’s room, where the older man is sitting on his bed, only his khaki pants on and shirtless. Tom, who had just opened the door without any anticipation just stands there, frozen, looking at Mark as he looks down at his hands, clearly upset. Mark looks up at Tom and gives him a weak smile before getting up

“Hey” Tom tells him quickly “What is wrong?” He asks as he walks closer to Mark near his dressing drawer

“Nothing” Mark shakes his head and he pulls out a shirt “I just had a really weird… Confusing dream” He explains as he walks away from Tom, clearly not wanting to talk about it.

“Was… Was it bad?” Tom asks as he sits on the bed while he watches Mark put on his shirt, but he only shrugs “What did you dream about?”

Mark shakes his head only slightly “I had a dream you stopped talking to me” He adds quietly and Tom shuts his trap, he remembers the job he got offered not that long ago and curses himself. It’s not like he wants to hurt Mark and Toni’s feelings by making decisions for himself.

Tom takes a deep breath  “Did it hurt?” He asks and Mark frowns at him

“It stang like a flu shot, is that want you want to hear?” Mark chuckles, but only slightly, then he turns serious again. Tom reaches out to give him a hug but Mark steps back, Tom frowns. He doesn’t want to admit, but it hurts “I need to tell you something”

Mark notices that Tom knows something is up, Tom rubs his arm protectively and looks down, trying to hide the turbo of his emotions and the scare of what’s to come

“I… I have a set date with Matt” Mark voices out simply, but Tom doesn’t look up “I mean, he’s travelling right now, but him and I are going out once he’s back. Romantically”

Tom starts to nod “I know” He says, playing it cool “That’s awesome, I hope it works out for the two of you”

Mark nods “So, you’re not upset?”

“Why would I be?” Tom asks, faking out a laughter “It’s been months, years… _Decades_ even. You don’t need my approval anymore, you never did”

“I just thought I should tell you” Mark explains, it hurts him to see his best friend like that

“Thanks for the concern” Tom smiles sadly, he knows where Mark comes from. Mark turns to his side and Tom just watches him as he pours some cologne in his neck with his right hand, avoiding his tattoo, then he opens up a tiny can in the corner with some beeswax inside, Tom smiles at how adorable it is when Mark rubs some all over his tattoo, still taking care of it like something precious.

Mark then looks up and starts shoving Tom outside  “Come on, we don’t want to be late!” He shrieks when thinking about his daughter’s first concert.

***

Mark sits backstage patiently, a hand on his head before Paul hands him a cup of coffee “That will make you feel better” His son says as he takes the cup, drinking some so he can forget the slight headache he has. Toni and Jared are whispering something to each other in the corner while Tom and Megan sit in a couple of chairs as she shows him her new tattoo, a skull laughing with flowers around it on the top of her arm, where the sleeve of the shirt is, it is still bright and shiny and scabbing a little, but she already loves it

“You know what are you getting with Trav?” Tom wonders and Megan shrugs 

“I honestly have no idea” She laughs

Frank is thinking as they all try to reach an agreement to the band’s name, which had not been decided yet.

“I like Symptoms” Jared voices out as soon as Frank starts talking again “It’s short, quick and different”

“I’m with Jared,” Megan says, crossing her arms, holding to her drumsticks, quickly diverting from her conversation with Tom.

“It doesn’t sound right, you guys” Toni grunts. Her hair now short, a classic cut around her neck “I honestly like it, but… But it doesn’t ring a bell, it doesn’t fit!”

“I like both Destroyer Kid and Symptoms” Frank says “But I think I like Destroyer Kid better…”

“Guys, we shouldn’t force a name if at least one of us doesn’t like it!” Toni gets up. Megan turns back and frowns at her friend

“Toni, we’re not forcing it! We just wanna voice out our opinions!” Megan tells her back, Toni looks at her with a frown as well “We’re all stressed out about this already; we need to come up with something for the next hour!”

Frank sighs, “Mark, what do you think?”

Mark’s eyes go wide as he looks up from his coffee cup, he quickly looks at Tom desperately, but the younger man just chuckles at then entrance he has been set up with. “I… I am not sure. This was never part of my job, I am only a consenting guardian of a minor here” He tells them confused and Toni puffs out angrily.

“But what’s your opinion at least?” Megan asks, “Just your favorite between the two?”

“I like Destroyer Kid better, you sound like you’re trying to make Symptoms being random cool but in reality it isn’t…” Mark shrugs and Jared gives him a look “You asked my opinion!”

“I don’t know if that was helpful or not” Megan sighs and takes a hand to her forehead.

“Between the two, I go with Destroyer Kid!” Toni says harshly getting up

“You just told me you hated that name!”

“Like you can come up with anything new!” Toni steps up to Megan “Soon enough we’ll be naming ourselves Attack at the Library or something dumb like Angels and Airwaves!” She says gesturing around, being dramatic, her short bleach blonde hair flowing and shifting around

“Woah!” Frank gets up quickly, placing himself between the two “This is going too far, it’s just a name!”

“Fuck no, it’s not alright!” Toni snatches his hand away, “It’s not!” She shouts again and her voice breaks. Her eyes flicker between Frank’s and she lets out a desperate breath

“Toni, is something wrong?” Frank asks, “Are you okay?”

Toni takes a breath and shakes her head “We need to talk” She tells him and Frank frowns confused

“You need to talk _to me_?” He asks pointing at his own chest

“Yes” She whispers “But outside”

“Okay” Frank shows her the way to the door, they head out, leaving everyone else back confused, looking between each other. As soon as he is outside, Toni leans back on the brick wall in corridor. Frank sighs before placing himself in front of her, leaning his back on the opposite side and kicking his feet with hers, she smiles sadly at him “Your new hair looks good” He tells her when he notices she is not talking any time soon, still gathering her courage

“Thanks” She nods, not lifting her eyes up from their feet.

“What is it? Why did you call me here?” Frank asks running a hand on his face

“I think I owe you an apology” Toni breathes out “About that other night?”

“The one we haven’t talked about in over a month?” He asks and Toni finally looks up, nodding  “You do not have to apologize for that, I have… I was the one who started the whole college drama when I knew I had to respect your boundaries”

“Yes” Toni nods and gulps dryly

“I shouldn’t have kissed you” Frank tells her and Toni sighs, it is not like she regrets it  “I am sorry, I really am…”

“Don’t beat yourself up for that” She gives him a weak smile and he grins back, his black hair falling into his face and Toni can feel her heart leap.

She has a damn crush on him and she can’t even deny it to herself anymore.

Toni then looks up at him, standing back on her feet. Frank eyes her surprised look and the stupid grin on her face, like she just had the most brilliant idea “What?” He asks quietly, scared of what is to come, but even more excited.    

“This has been the most confusing day of my life” She shakes her head and laughs “God!” Toni then storms out and walks back into the room.

Tom is the middle of a joke but as soon as everyone is done laughing their attentions turn back to her, a moment of silence falling in expectation. Frank then runs in right behind her.

“I… I know what are we gonna be named” She says quickly “Leave it to me”

***

Toni leaves the acoustic on its stand and Frank walks up to her with his guitar wrapped around him “You’re ready?” He asks and she nods, giving him a fist bump “Try not to act so nervous” He tells her jokingly and she shows him the tongue. Megan come in behind him and stops in front of her

“I swear that if you make any dick jokes we will be forever remembered as that band and you do not want that to happen to me” Megan tells her and Toni laughs

“ _Yes you do!_ ” Toni sing songs

“No! We are not your dad”

“Come on, dicks are fun!”

“Dicks are gross, have you seen one?” Megan makes a disgusted face as they walk on stage

“I cannot believe this is the first time we are walking on stage and we are talking about gross dicks”

“The fans will love it in seven years” Megan clicks her drumsticks and Toni gives her a playful shove

“Shut up!” She whines

“I am sorry I yelled at you before” Megan then tells her quietly “I was just overwhelmed”

“We all were” Toni shrugs “I owe you an apology too”

“Of course you do” Megan scoffs “Are you ready for that college interview tomorrow?”

Toni shrugs “Gotta do what you gotta do”

“Okay” Megan nods “Now, go there and kill ’em, sis”

Toni laughs “Good luck to you too” She says and Megan winks at her before moving to the back of the borrowed drumkit. Jared walks behind them with his bass as Toni goes up nervously to the microphone on the center of the stage.

She taps it a few times and looks down to Travis standing at the bar nearby, now being joined by Tom and Mark who now have their drinks again to enjoy the concert. The three of them wave and smile encouraging at them, like the proud parents they are.

“Good night everyone” She starts calmly, smiling at the crowd “Is everyone having a nice night?”

A few people cheer on the small crowd that is dispersed on the pit, Mark suddenly shouts obnoxiously and Travis raises his drink from the back. Toni laughs

“We’re a new band, we hope you guys like our music, though we’re really playing a lot of covers, we’re garbage just like that” She says and laughs, people starting to look at. Toni turns to Frank and he gives her a nod of his head  

 _“We’re blink,”_ She says and takes the microphone off the stand before the music starts playing.


	27. May 5th, 2017

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel so overwhelmed by this story lately and I really love this chapter so I thought I should come and post it right now, just to give a little satisfaction to my feelings, we are about to enter some really turbulent and dramatic filled chapters anyway. 
> 
> I have officially gotten to a point in my story writing that I feel satisfied with my final product, so if things move smoothly like this I should be able to finish posting it soon, and it makes me super sad to have to let this go, even if I have been planning and anticipating it for months.
> 
> I hope you guys and gals and fairies enjoy this one as much as I do

Mark woke up really early to make coffee for Toni and Paul. The two teens groan and moan as they sit down on the table. Mark is already wearing his best professional button down shirt when he gives them breakfast, the two also wearing professional outfits. 

“Do I really have to go?” Paul whines “I have already decided to go to San Francisco with Joe, I don’t want to be doing interviews”

“Go at least to support your sister, okay?” Mark pats him in the back and Toni rolls her eyes, but neither of them actually see it. 

They eventually finish getting ready and eating and get into the car, it’s a sunny day, closer to the summer. Toni sighs as she stares out the window, the drive is long, it takes about an hour to get to the University, plus the time they took to find the building where the interviews were being held at, but they managed to get there in time. 

Mark fixes the collar of Toni’s shirt “Tell them you’re resourceful, they always love that”

“Okay dad” Toni answers in monotone 

“And you sho…” Mark starts, but he gets interrupted by Toni’s hand snatching his away, he frowns at her sudden reaction “Are you feeling okay, kid?” He asks her concerned

“Yeah, I’m sorry” Toni shakes her head, her dad is not to blame for her poor choices. Paul is the first to be called, both Mark and Toni wish him good luck as he heads inside one of the rooms with his interviewer. Toni eventually is called as well and Mark does the same for her, even if she grows a bit tense. 

 _“Mrs. Elise Hoppus!”_ The interviewer greets her quickly. Toni looks up at him, he definetly looks intimidating, but sounded friendly at that moment. Bulky build, thick mustace. Toni shakes his hand with a firm grip “Nice to meet you!”

“Nice to meet you too, Mr. Bronson” She forces out a smile as they move to sit across from each other on his study desk. He looks her up and down as she sat up straight, the smile still on her lips. 

“I read your curriculum and your resumeé, pretty impressive” The man nods as he leans back on his chair, picking up her papers and analyzing them again “Good grades”

“Thanks” Toni geniuely smiles this time, she worked damn hard for those, and thank God he hasn’t seen her latest grades anyway cause those have gone to space. 

“I have seen you worked a couple of summer for a company called _Strange Times_ , is that right?” The man asks and she nods 

“Yeah, I did that gig a few times, the money wasn’t really the best but my dad works really hard for everyone so anything was welcome” She explains “And the job was really easy, I just went to where I was needed, so I did management, video editing, coffee making… I was really… _Resourceful_ ” She cringes thinking of what her dad had told her not that many minutes before 

“Good!” Mr. Bronson nods impressed “So, what do they do?”

 _“Hm”_ Toni frowns “They’re a website, they talk about conspiracy theories but they also have books and a sucessful YouTube channel”

 _“Conspiracy theories?”_ The man raises an eyebrow confused “Like what?”

“Aliens, Bigfoot, Ghosts” She lists at the top of her head, couting on her fingers and the interviewer starts laughing. Toni frowns “Is something wrong?”

“It just sounds like a bunch of nonsense” He laughs again “I mean, the _Bigfoot_? Really?”

“This is actually a pretty serious project!” Toni intefers a little annoyed “If it’s real or a fantasy, that is a completely different thing, they work with resources and research, they’re empirical. It’s not nonsense! They work on other stull too like JFKs assasination and Berlin wall tunnels...”

“Alright” The man continues as his laughter dies, but he completely ignores what Toni told him “So, I see you play guitar in the school’s music club”

Toni crosses her arms on top of her chest “I do”

“Okay, I have to ask you something” The interviewer continues, he takes off his glasses and places the on top of the table, getting closer to Toni apart from the desk “If you weren’t to go to college, what would you do? And where do you see yourself in ten years?”

Toni frowns, she knows her dad would tell her to answer something smart like, she is going to pursue a career and open her own business. However, something yells inside of her, and at that moment, her heart decides to speak louder than her brains. She thinks about how he made fun of Tom and it sets her on edge. She doesn’t think from then on. 

“I want to have my band” She answers quickly, lifting up her head. The man’s eyes squint at her “Regardless of going to college, I want to be in a band and go to tour and meet the entire world like that. Travel amazing places with my friends and my art and my passion”

The guy just laughs again, this time shaking his head and casually throwing her papers on a huge pile on the desk, her heart starts beating faster by the simple decision of movements he made, she knows that is a rejection pile after all. “You kids always want to be famous and have bands and be movie actors…” He laughs again, picking up his glasses “I really don’t understand, you’re the third one just today... And I swear” He continues, shaking his head “Every year tons of kids here drop out for something crazy like that” He moves to the pile again, picking up her papers “I see your dad is college drop out, you mind tell me what happened to him?” 

Toni sighs, she feels like she is in a bad movie where the main character is doing everything in his hands to be a shitty famous person in LA, until they get their big shot at the end. Toni doesn’t want that, she doesn’t want a big stardom career, she just wants to have enough money, tour and show her art. She doesn’t want mansions and big awards, she doesn’t want fame. She sucks up her pride, nothing this man will say could make her more ashamed than she feels right now, and it feels like he doesn’t even know how much it upsets her. So she gets up, but she doesn’t move, the man looks up startled. Toni’s breathing hitches, it’s the same adrenalin she felt the last time she was at Starbucks, she remembers not to punch anyone this time. 

“My dad has nothing to do with it!” Toni shouts, the man’s eyes go wide. 

“Are you going to be dropout as well?” The man raises an eyebrow “If you by some miracle get in…”

“No” Toni shakes her head “Because I’m not enrolling anyway”

She quickly picks up her things and storms out of the room, without even looking back. Mark and Paul are sitting in the waiting room, talking eagerly to each other, apparently her brother’s interview was really good for someone that wasn’t expecting anything from it. They quickly stop their smiling and their talking when Toni grabs Mark’s arm quickly, gripping on it 

 _“Ouch!”_ Mark exclaims as her hand is tight around his pulse, his octopus. He looks up at his daughter, seeing her expression “Are you okay?”

“I am not going to college” She tells him through hissed teeth “I cannot take this anymore and I’m not even inside yet! I don’t want to go throguh the same thing I have been through all of high school”

Mark simply blinks at her confused “Honey” He tells her “You’re just holding on too tight” 

Toni breathes out and pulls her hand away, Mark rubs into the red skin that is already weak from his accident _“I’m sorry”_ She whispers 

“Can you wait here?” Mark turns to Paul and the boy quickly nods 

“Sure, of course”

“Okay” Mark sighs before he gets up, wrapping an arm around his daughter’s shoulders, walking her out of the building and into the garden outside, where it was still shiny and flowery from the spring. 

They stay in silence for a while, walking to get some coffee at a cart nearby. They sit in a bench, each with a cup. He figures she will talk when she is ready. Mark himself contemplates what had happened the night before. He feels shitty whenever he thinks about Tom, but catches himself smiling like an idiot whenever he thinks about Matt and their date that is coming soon and that it is normal that Tom is upset about it anyway. At least it should be, that is how it should happen, right?

He thinks about Toni and what she said on that stage the previous night. He and Tom stared awkwardly at each other for a solid five seconds after she had said the name of the band. Mark looked back at his daughter, and then at Tom, who had not once ungled his eyes from Mark. Mark saw passion in them, he saw admiration and care. He licked his lips when Tom looked down at his hands, a soft melody playing by the band “Mark, I need to tell you something”

“Is it going to make me want to cry?” Mark asks, his eyes full of tears. Tom notices the change in his tone and looks up, Mark is now looking at his daughter on stage, singing softly into the microphone, a raw and unpracticed voice but yet beautiful “She’s perfect, isn’t she?” He asks Tom, his voice full of emotion

Tom sighs and nods “She’s yours”

Mark looks back at him and smiles sadly, cleaning the tears with the back of his hand “I’m sorry I look so pathetic right now” Mark answers “What were you saying?”

“Nothing” Tom sighs and shakes his head, paying attention to the band again.

Toni sighs by his side, Mark gulps dryly

“You want to talk now?” He asks and she looks at him for the first time since the waiting room. She shakes her head “I hadn’t had the chance yet, but I wanted to tell you I really liked your new hair” Mark smiles sweetly at her and she slowly starts to smile back at him

“Thanks” She nods “What… What did you think about the concert?”

“I’ve been to better ones” Mark laughs “But of course for those I paid over thirty bucks on a ticket, they definetly weren’t free” He jokes and Toni chuckles “It was really good, kid. It touched me”

“Thanks” Toni nods again “What did you think about the name?” She then asks insecurely

Mark sighs “I… I loved it” He says and she quickly looks up at him, surprised that he is not scolding her for taking his old band name, or even more for having a meltdown on what was supposed to be the most important moment fo her life “It was really a surprise to Tom and I, and we both think you deserve having it” He says and Toni chuckles in her happiness, setting aside what had happened “We haven’t used it in twenty years after all…” He shrugs with a smile

“Gosh, dad!” Toni smiles and leans in to give him a hug. Mark stands paralyzed at first, his daughter has not hugged or come near him since the whole drunken incident and the fight in the car. Something melts inside of him, he feels his chest full and hums happily before wrapping both arms around her “Thank you so much!” She pulls back and Mark looks at her amazed.

Amazed that she is his daughter, that she is putting her legacy foward, and not the legacy he forced himself to write for so long so he could put some food in her plate so she could be here now, doing things she doesn’t want to. The legacy of his prime days, the legacy of when he was his true self.

“I know you want me to be with Tom” Mark starts again, his voice full of hurt “I’m sorry, but I can’t do this” Mark shakes his head  “I wish things were different”

Toni blinks, she was not expecting him to talk about that right now. She frowns and sighs, looking down to the grass, seeing the patches of where flowers are. 

“Toni?” Mark calls her before she snaps back to her thoughts and looks at her dad with pity in her eyes

“That’s not what I want, dad” She shakes her head “I want the two of you to be happy. With each other just seemed easier, but I know now it’s not ideal… I’m sorry I pushed the buttons I wasn’t supposed to”

“Maybe it is, you know” Mark shrugs “But it was somewhere in the past and we missed our mark, you know? If there was ever one…”

Toni nods “Dad, I…” She says and looks away “You know how graduation is coming soon and everything, and… I wanted to say something to you: I… I don’t want to go to college. I have to repeat it and say it outloud, firmly, you know?” Mark frowns, he blinks at her a few times, trying to process what she just told him “I don’t wanna leave my band; I don’t wanna go to college” She tells him quickly “It is not in my life plans, at least not right now. Though what do I know?”  

“Why were you scared to tell me this?” He asks and she shrugs  “You do not need to know everything in your life by the age of seventeen. I mean” Mark chuckles  “I am forty five and do you really think I planned to be a porn writer at seventeen?!?”

Toni laughs, but then sighs before coming serious again “You just have worked so hard to make this happen, and you regret leaving college so much at times and… And I feel like you wouldn’t want to see me throwing this opportunity away”

“Toni, you can do anything you want with your life!” Mark smiles “I am so proud you got into college but at the same time I am way more proud of your band, sweetheart!” He laughs, placing both hands on her shoulders as she looks up at him with admiration in her eyes “I would love for you to not make the same mistakes I did, but I would love even more for you to reach the dreams I never did”

Mark feels a pain in his chest when he sees Toni’s eyes pooling with tears, he shakes his head

“Please don’t cry, hon!” He laughs, feeling like he might as well anytime soon

“I have no idea why I was so scared” She laughs, a tear dropping from her eye “Are you really okay with this?”

“I am insanely happy with this,” Mark tells her and she jumps on him for another hug, sobbing into his shirt as he allows himself to not hold back this time. Mark cleans a few tears of his own, appreciating his little girl in his arms.

“So...” Toni sighs “What should I do? Should I really not to go to college?”

Mark gives her an incredulous look “It is not me you should be asking, kid” He shakes his head “You have to know what you want, and you clearly do know it more than anyone else”

Toni shakes her head “I just once worked so hard for this” She tells him “Somehow I do not want to throw this away”

Mark breathes in deeply and lifts himself off his seat just a little, reaching for his wallet on his back pocket, he carefully goes through a tiny compartment of gift and fidelity cards and pulls out a folded piece of paper that looks really hard to fold into, Toni frowns as he opens it, bur her eyes often when she sees that it is a picture of her mom. She and her mom together to be more exact. The picture was taken in Colombia, she remembers that trip, but not exactly that particular situation. She was four, they were walking in the street and both girls giggling, both of them wearing heavy winter clothing. Elise had black hair and bangs at the time whilst Toni had light brown hair and the same bangs, she remembers asking her mom _'To have bangs just like hers_ '. Elise was hugging her up in her arms, both girls brown eyes shining in the light of the cameras flash. 

Toni takes the picture away from Marks hands, looking at it sweetly, never so hard in a few years she wishes her mom was there to tell her what to do, to be confident on and to trust blindly. In the middle of all this, this is the person she was scared to let down the most. 

“What do you think she would have wanted you to do?” Mark asks her quietly. Toni breathes in while staring at the picture. 

“I... She would have wanted me to go to college”

“Probably” Mark nods “But I will never forget something your mother told me when she got pregnant of Joe”

Toni looks at him, interested in what he had to say 

“She told me that her pregnancy was not expected at all, and that she could indeed get an abortion or something like her family was pressuring her to” Mark explains “But she did not know if she would have been able to have kids later, and that was something she really wanted to do in her lifetime, she wanted kids more than she wanted a career” Mark looks at the picture with sweet eyes “The universe had given her a shot, maybe out of time, but I remember, telling her I loved her, and that I would help her through no matter what. She...” He breathes in dreamily “She told me the universe wanted her to do this, because we were ready and it was the right time”

Toni blinks 

“You have something really special with this band, kid” Mark tells her “You can play the cards the universe is handing you, or you can do what you expect yourself to do”

Tonis eyes pool with tears, they have been building up since Mark opened up the picture. She can hear her mothers voice in her head, it was nothing, but it was enough to make her rethink everything. 

“Please forgive me” Toni sobs into his shirt “Forgive me for… For pressuring you and for making you feel bad and… And for not trusting you and for kicking and yelling at you when mom passed away” She says and Mark sobs again, holding her even tighter “I am so fucking sorry, dad”

“It is okay, hon” Mark takes a deep breath as he leaves a kiss on top of her short bleached hair “I know that everything is gonna be fine”

Toni then pulls back and looks up, sitting up straight as she smiles at her dad, cleaning the tears off her face as she tries to cool down        

“Come on, let’s get you home and away from here…” Mark sighs as he gets up, wrapping an arm around her as she follows him

“Your date with Matt is tonight, isn’t it?” She asks as soon as they’re inside the building again. Mark closes the door behind himself and he sighs before nodding

“He must be arriving at the airport right now” Mark sighs as he looks on his wristwatch

“Are you nervous?” She asks, playing it cool

“A bit” Mark smiles at his daughter, at the effort she is making

“Good” She smiles and nods at him “I am very happy about that”

***

Toni and Paul are seated on the couch with Mark, Toni’s foot stomps on the ground impatiently, Paul just stares at Mark with a frown on his face the entire time until the older man notices something is up. Mark tries to ignore it and continues to watch some show on TV with all the calm he has.

Paul coughs, and Mark’s attention turns to him

“Please don’t make me nervous” Mark tells him and Paul sighs

“We are not doing anything!” Toni chuckles

“I know, but stop doing that”

“Doing what?” Paul asks

“Stay quiet”

“You want us to talk?”

“Yeah”

“About what?”

“Anything”

 

“Who wants to play cards?!?” Toni jumps up from her seat abruptly, both Mark and Paul stare at her confused “I’m gonna go get them” She runs upstairs, Mark and Paul fall into awkward silence again once she’s gone.

Toni sighs as she turns her room upside down trying to find her card game. She has been avoiding to even think about the subject, she knows she cannot grab her father by the collar and scream the obvious in his face. Tom tried it not that much time before, she knows she cannot meddle into her father’s happiness. It is not as if she hates Matt, on the contrary, he is awesome! She has come to love him in so many ways, and if it were not for Tom, she would be exhilarated at the fact that him and her father were going out. She tries to play it cool; and while she _is_ cool, it’s still hard.

Toni goes back downstairs empty-handed, Paul is now reading a book and Mark just stares at the door, now a little bit more impatient, broken out of his spell.

“I, I couldn’t find them” Toni adds quickly as she turns to sit by Mark’s side on the couch again. Mark nods and turns back to the TV, it does not take more than two minutes for him to turn to her again

“Are you okay with this?” He asks concerned

“With what?”

“With this date…”

Toni smiles “I am, I really like Matt, dad”

Mark nods and then the doorbell rings. Paul, Toni and Mark stare between each other but neither one of them gets up.

“You… You should go answer that…” Toni points at the door, gesturing towards her dad. Mark sighs and straightens his clothes as he gets up and opens the door, seeing Matt and Annie by the door, both smiling happily.

“Toni!” Annie immediately runs inside, hugging the taller girl by the legs before Toni picks her up in her own lap

“You look good” Matt smiles as he turns to Mark

“Thanks… You- you look good too” Mark smiles back and they both laugh out of awkwardness “We… We should get going,” He points at Matt’s car, who nods

“Sure” He says and Toni walks closer “Bye baby” Matt laughs as Annie jumps on him to give him a goodbye hug “I’ll pick you up tomorrow for lunch, alright?” He asks and she nods “Will you have fun with Toni and Paul?” Annie nods eagerly

“Thanks for doing this, Toni” Matt says sincerely and Toni smiles

“Of course, anything for Princess Annie” She laughs and she tickles Annie as they go inside. Mark walks out and closes the door behind him as they both walk up to the car.

Matt tries to open the passenger seat door for Mark but he only gets his hand snatched away.

***

Matt parks the car near a bar and both he and Mark get out and walk in, Mark looks around at the dimly lit bar with the pool table in the back, there’s nice rock music playing in the background and some casually available couple of stools at the bar where they could sit.

“So” Matt starts as they sit “You like it here?”

“Yeah it’s nice” Mark smiles as he looks around a little more “Campy type,” He says and Matt nods “How did you find it?”

Matt shrugs “I’ve been living here long enough dude…” He says as the bartender comes over, Matt raises two fingers before he walks away “I quite know my way around here already”

“I see” Mark smiles “So… How was the trip?”

“So much fun!” Matt laughs “You should have seen Annie going crazy over Pokemon GO while we were there”

“Of course, what is the big cities for after all” Mark smiles amusedly and shakes his head, staring at Matt. “How’s work?”

Matt frowns “Have you ever stopped to notice we haven’t talked about work at all since you got hired again?”

“Now that you said it out loud it actually makes sense…”

“Are you still writing?” Matt asks as each of them get a beer that the bartender just left for them, Mark nods and takes a sip

“Yeah, actually I’ve been writing quite a lot lately…” Mark tells him excitedly “Been quite inspired”. Matt laughs, his lips in the rim of the bottle

“Can I ask you something?” Matt turns to him, Mark nods

“Sure”

Matt places the bottle down on the counter, crossing his arms on top of it, looking at Mark “How did you find out you were bisexual?”

Mark smiles at Matt being all awkward and cute “It… It was Tom actually” Mark tells him, smiling a little at the end “I mean, my entire teenage years I was attracted to boys here and there but never actually did anything about it, but when Tom came along? _God_ , I thought about that kid _all the time_ ” Mark tells him, he looks away from Matt and plays with his hand “I was so struck by him the day we first met that I broke both my heels jumping off a lamppost I climbed to impress him” Mark laughs and Matt bursts out laughing as well

“You didn’t” Matt shakes his head unbelievingly, but Mark only nods

“Hell yeah, I did” Mark laughs, picking up his beer again “What about you?”

“Always knew” Matt explains, he takes a sip from his beer and shrugs “I just did, judge me”

“Tom always knew too,” Mark pipes in, asking for another beer “I guess I was just raised up being so straight normative, that since I was sure that liked girls I just assumed I was straight” He shakes his head and takes another sip as the bartender brings him his drink “Hm, are we just going to drink all night? Is this your idea of a date?” Mark asks, shifting his stool closer to Matt and the younger blonde laughs, shaking his head as his eyes connected to Mark’s

“We can dance, if you want…” Matt points over his back, where music is playing and some people are swinging along with the rhythm of the music “I mean, I’m not the dancing type of guy, but you know?” He shrugs and Mark squints his eyes, giving Matt a smirk

“I know what?”

“I will for old white bisexuals”

“Shut up!” Mark whines as he hist Matt on the arm, who only laughs

“We can ask something to eat also…” Matt tells him and Mark smiles, nodding

“I’m always up for some food!”

“I sure do know that” Matt laughs as he picks up the menu “You gotta try their bread sticks, you’re gonna love them” Matt tells Mark and calls the waiter. They order some food, continuing to talk, laugh and share stories. “You wanna go there?” Matt asks again towards the dancefloor as the two of them finish eating, pointing his head towards the small room where people were still dancing and drinking to the music “Looks like everyone’s having a good time…”

“You’re really keen on the idea of dancing, huh?” Mark shakes his head with an amused smile on his lips

“Will I have to beg? Do you really want me to ruin my reputation?” Matt laughs and gets up, taking Mark by his hand. Mark shakes his head and jumps off the stool

“There’s a lot you still don’t know about me,” Matt shoves Mark into the spread out crowd “Like the way I am a killer dancer!” Mark gestures exhageratedly opening his palms and making a face, Matt can only laugh at his stupid moves. An electronic song plays, but Mark has to admit it is pretty cool and catchy and it has some darker tone to it, sounds like something he would totally listen to.

They dance making fun of each other for a while, doing robotic movements, it takes a while for them to get comfortable before more commonly known songs start playing, they are screaming lyrics from the top of their lungs. Suddenly everything slowed down and they both stopped to catch their breathing, laughing it out until they notice the entire tempo of the music has turned to something much mellower and slower. Mark looks around awkwardly as the other couples start to either leave or adjust their tones to it, slow dancing to the song, He scratches the back of his neck and points back to the bar

“I… We should get more drinks,” He says quickly and tries to leave, but Matt holds him back, grabbing his hand again

“You’re not going anywhere” Matt laughs, spinning Mark towards him and placing a hand on his hip and still holding Mark’s hand with his other one, drawing Mark into the slow dance, moving his body to the music.

Mark smiles shyly and places his free hand on Matt’s shoulder, seeing his octopus resting there. He looks at Matt smiling at him as they keep on dancing to the slow song, Matt leaves a kiss on Mark’s cheek and rests his face there, and Mark thanks God that Matt cannot see him blushing the way he is.

***

“So I spent the entire flight, from London to Chicago, sobbing my eyes out to the stewardess because I simply didn’t know where I was,” Matt tells Mark, laughing at any means

“But you were on an airplane!” Mark asks, still laughing with Matt

“Yes, but I wasn’t understanding that, I thought we had stopped somewhere because all I could see from the window was water!” Matt tells him and Mark laughs even more

“Oh my God, you’re such a dork” He tells Matt, eating the last piece of veggie quiche on top of the counter, that is when they look behind themselves and the last person leaves the bar, leaving just the two of them “I think it’s time for us to leave” Mark says

“Yeah” Matt says looking around; they pay the bill and leave the bar, hand in hand, walking towards Matt’s car

“You have other plans in mind?” Mark asks, Matt excitedly runs in front of him and stops him from walking, a huge grin on his face “What now?” Mark laughs; Matt places a finger on Mark’s face

“Calm down a second” Matt tells him and laughs before stormily kissing him. Mark smiles into the kiss and opens his mouth when Matt licks his bottom lip, asking for entrance. Mark places a hand on Matt’s cheek, bringing him in, but Matt pulls away and looks down at Mark.

“You’re drunk” Mark smirks

“Hell yeah I am” Matt laughs, hugging Mark as they both walk away “Come on, let’s go find a cab, tomorrow I’ll come here and pick up my car”

“That’s a good idea” Mark tells him as he takes Matt’s hand in his, Matt only smiles as he leans his head on Mark’s shoulder as they walk away. Eventually the call a cab on the street and get inside, Matt insists on holding Mark’s hand the entire way, resting his head on the older man’s shoulder. Mark can only smile happily at the scene, seeing Matt all snuggled up against him.

They arrive at Matt’s house and get out. Mark holds open the door to the cab and looks into Matt’s eyes

“So… I had a really fun night,” Mark tells him, smiling like an idiot

“Me too” Matt smiles back

“You’ll pick up Annie tomorrow morning, right?”

“Yes!” Matt smiles again

“Good” Mark nods “I… I better go now”

“I…” Matt stops him “I was wondering if you would like to come inside and check out my paintings… You never had a real chance to see them, I think that now is the perfect time; you can call an Uber later, if you want…”

“Sure!” Mark smiles, somehow knowing what this means, he leans inside and gives money to the driver; he closes the door and follows Matt inside the house.

“Come on, follow me” Matt urges him, taking Mark’s hand and pulling him upstairs. Matt opens the door to the art room Mark has been to before, he looks around and sees Matt heading over to the big white sheet, pulling it out and revealing his canvas.

Matt shows them to Mark, who eyes them fascinated “Wow” He breathes out “These are so dark!”

“I know” Matt smiles

“They’re really different from what you painted that time… There’s something romantic about these…” Mark smiles as he sees the paintings of black roses, knives and women. “They’re beautiful, Matt,” He says breath-taken

“I still think the painting I made of you is one my best” Matt nods

“Did you ever sell it?” Mark asks and Matt nods

“It was the first of mine to be sold” Matt smiles a bit sad “I wish I could’ve kept it…” Matt looks back at him and their eyes meet “I hope I can do many more paintings of you though” He smiles as he looks into Mark’s blue eyes. Matt looks to their side and pulls his ink table closer, taking a bit of blue ink on his fingertips “Just stay still for a second, okay?” Matt says as he walks closer to Mark

“What are you doing?” He asks quietly when Matt’s face is just an inch away from his

“Shh” Matt whispers “Just… Just stay still” He says and runs his fingers on Mark’s face, letting the ink spill as the older man closes his eyes. Matt smiles, his thumb running on the underside of Mark’s eye, he takes a deep breath and both his hands move to Mark’s neck, pulling him in as he places their lips together.

Mark sighs into the kiss, nibbling on Matt’s bottom lip. Mark’s hands move to Matt’s waist, pulling him closer, he licks Matt’s bottom lip, asking entrance for his tongue and Matt hums contently before opening his mouth, letting both tongues collide.

Matt tugs on Mark’s shirt; he pulls back a little and smiles into Matt’s bright blue eyes, who also smiles back at him. Mark moves to take out his own shirt and he throws it somewhere behind himself, Matt takes a deep breath as he stares amazed at Mark’s body, but the older man just pulls him into another kiss.

Matt shoves Mark backwards, making him walk until his back hits a wall. Mark pulls back from the kiss breath-taken, Matt smiles when he sees the older man with his cheeks flushed and his skin red already. Matt kisses Mark’s neck and places his hands on Mark’s sides, moving them to his chest. Mark then reaches for the hem of Matt’s shirt, pulling it off his body without taking his eyes off Matt’s chest, seeing the tattoos he wishes he could stare at for as long as he could

Mark feels his cock twitching beneath his boxers “God,” Matt breathed as he threw the shirt on the floor, now noticing the ink all around Mark body “I got you all dirty”

“It’s okay” Mark breathes out, staring at Matt’s tattoos still. 

"Stand still, I'll clean you up" Matt chuckles as he walks towards the table again, grabbing a pack of wet wipes, taking a couple out and cleaning Mark's face away from the ink 

"Is it all gone?" Mark asks in a tiny voice as soon as Matt throws the wipes away, the man nods and leans back in, placing their foreheads together

“You want more?” Matt asks into his ear and bites into his earlobe, Mark whines and nods, leaning into the touch. Matt smiles, his hand running on Mark’s chin as he raised the older man’s face for another kiss. “You are so beautiful” Matt moans into Mark’s mouth, coming out muffled, smiling with wet lips brushing against the other ones, Mark suddenly feels weak by Matt’s touch _“So so_ beautiful”

Matt moans his name when Mark starts to kiss his neck. Matt pulls back and takes Mark's hand, looking around for something “What are you doing?” Mark asks

“Taking you to the bedroom…” Matt tells him “What about that? Sounds like a good idea?” Mark breathes out heavily and Matt notices the tension “I won’t do anything you don’t want me to, okay?” He asks and Mark nods “You can tell me whenever you want to stop, or if you want to leave, alright?”

“I know” Mark nods and pulls him again into another kiss, a little more passionate than it was before. Matt breaks the kiss and takes Mark’s other hand in his, pulling Mark to the bedroom. Mark lied down on the bed and Matt crawled on top of him, kissing Mark’s lips again.

Matt placed a flat hand on Mark’s stomach as the boy lied down, Matt sucking on his bottom lip gently. Mark dragged his short nails along Matt’s back, hurting the sensible skin as Matt groaned against his lips. Matt pulled apart to kiss his neck, Mark started moaning against his ear to urge him, and he went further down to kiss the chest and stomach of the boy ahead of him.

Matt then suddenly sits up and Mark, who is lying down on the bed looks at him confused, Matt is still wearing his jeans, just like Mark is still wearing his pants as well. He kisses Mark stormily and helps Mark take off his pants, he throws them to the ground and climbs back on top of him

Matt kisses Mark again, who is now lying down on top of the purple quilt with only his boxers, he starts kissing down Mark’s chest and stops to suck on Mark’s hipbone, a heavy moan coming out of his lips

“Matt?” Mark asks with a coarse voice and the younger boy looks up. Matt smiles and Mark pulls Matt’s hair to his direction

“Yes?”

“I… I really want to go all the way with you…” Mark breathes out and Matt smiles “I really do”

“Okay” Matt smiles “Your wish is my command” He whispers into Mark’s ear and Mark moans when Matt’s hand go down his stomach and take a hold of his cock. Matt starts to pump Mark and kisses his cheek as Mark’s lips stay open from the light moaning coming out from them.

Mark places a hand on Matt’s neck, who does not stop to give pleasure to the older man, Mark kisses him and he pulls apart just slightly so he could brush their noses together.

“Hey” Matt says between kisses and Mark pulls back, paying attention to him and seeing him point to the nightstand “Second drawer” Mark hurries to get the lube and a condom out, setting everything up and pushing in a finger on Matt. Mark kisses him whilst doing so; he stretches out the boy squirming underneath him and smiles at the faces he makes.

“You’re doing so good” Mark smiles and Matt nods out of breath “So well, so good” Mark whispers against his lips as he bit onto Matt’s top one and the younger man whimpers. Mark takes out the condom and puts it on himself, propping himself and pushing in. Matt’s breathing is hitched and Mark starts thrusting into him “Just chill, okay?” He tells Matt “I got this”

“Okay” Matt moans and closes his eyes, letting all the emotions take over him

“You already had too much control of me”

“Yes I have, hadn’t I?” He asks amused, his lips parted and Mark places their foreheads together, nodding as he brushed their noses together “You’re doing great”

“Thanks” Mark says before kissing him again, still pounding into him. They both kept on going; they gripped the sheets and each other’s skin, leaving marks and bruises. After a few minutes, Mark fell blankly beside Matt as they both gasped and panted for air.

“I… I really liked this” Matt smiled at him, on the aftermath of his orgasm. Mark looked back at him, smiling back as well

“I really liked this too, Matt,” Mark says before Matt scooted over and placed his head on Mark’s chest, falling asleep as he snuggled further into the sheets.


	28. May 14th-15th, 2017

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it took so long again!! But I promise I will post up a new one within the next couple of days and I just wanted to say I AM LOVIN THE DRAMA

Tom wakes up with a tiny pressure on his chest, a subtle jump on top of him. He quickly opens his eyes and lifts up his head, seeing Julio now sleeping on his chest as he accomodated himself there. Tom sighs and lies his pillow on the couch again.

He thinks about the previous week, how he had talked to Jim about the offer, and how, _right now_ , Mark is probably waking up on the arms of a dude somewhere, the works for Strange Times and the talks he has had with George more recently. He hears some chit chatting in the kitchen, but he isn’t able to make out what they’re saying.

Tom called David and Matt the night before and asked them to go out for drinkst, that was when he first voiced out his want and wish to move to Australia to his friends.

“Wait, _what?_ ” Matt laughed quickly as they stood in the middle of the crowded bar, someone bumped into David and he looked back momentarily “You’re thinking about moving all the way across the earth?”

“Did you want me to move to space?” Tom laughs

“Sounds more logical for you" David giggles, but Tom doesn't laugh

"No, I mean… So you finally listened to what the Dalmatian guy has been telling you for years?” Matt adds

 _“What?”_  Tom frowns

“Yeah, that George guy” David nods, like it is the most obvious thing ever “He has been trying to hire you and publish your stories since you put out your first book! I have been telling you for ages to listen to what he's saying, the guy always offers you some sweet stuff”

“Well, and I did" Tom nods "I think I should say yes this time” Tom breathes out, looking down into his drink before chugging more of his beer

"Are you going to leave Strange Times?" Matt asks a bit hurt, Tom shakes his head 

"I don't plan to, you know Strange Times is my baby" He sighs

“What does Mark and the kids think of it?” David asks and Tom brings down his heavy glass, wiping his mouth

“I didn’t tell him” Tom says “And I don’t plan to”

“You are gonna move out” David starts “And not tell Mark?”

“Dude, he’s gonna _flip_ the fuck out” Matt drinks off his beer again

“I want to phase him out, I don’t want to hurt him, you know?” Tom shrugs

“Didn’t you learn anything by the whole _‘I never told Mark I was dating Jim'_ incident?” David asks “It is only going to play out worse for you at the end…”

“It is not, because I’ll be gone” Tom shows him the tongue and then frowns when David raises him an eyebrow “I’ll be _gone_ ” He repeats as it sinks to him

“There we go!” David claps both hands together and Tom looks up at him confused

“He… He found someone else, you know?” Tom starts again, trying to prove something, maybe more to himself than to the boys. Matt chokes on his drink, David quickly moves over, checking to see if his roommate was okay, tapping on his back comforting

“You’re telling me Mark has a boyfriend?” Matt pratically shrieks as he is able to breathe again, some other people around look at them, Tom shooses him

"Be quiet!" Tom hisses "It's _not_ a boyfriend!”

“So, a fling?”

“Not a fling anymore” Tom points out, gesturing with his hand

Matt frowns

“They’re dating. His name is Matt too, and he’s got tattoos and is cute to Mark’s standards. Soon enough he is not even giving a flying shit about me, you'll see it when I start crying and eating ice cream straight from the box because of someone who has never made any type of commitment to me whatsoever” He rolls his eyes

“That’s not true” Matt adds up “He was married to Elise and it was not because of that the two of you split up the friendship!” He explains as he continues drinking

“Elise was my friend!” Tom points at his own chest, starting to get a little over the top with his reactions “Matt and I being friends? I don’t think think that is gonna happen… Not now, not ever. I am gonna be phased out and you know that… So I gotta phase him out first”

“You don’t even know if they’re gonna last…” David points out, trying to make Tom feel better "Stop making that sound like some big evil plan, if you phase him out you are going to feel just as shitty"

“Dude, they have been crushing on each other since even before the holidays” Tom explains “And I mean, the holidays Mark and I spent together. The two of them have a weird look towards each other when they’re eyes cross, it’s scary because…” Tom trails off “Because it reminds me of when he met Elise” He adds in a lower tone as he looks down at his hands, clearly upset “I’m sorry, this is not… This is not about her, I don’t want to stain her like this”

“Wait” David starts “Is he the guy you bought the painting from a couple of months ago?”

“What painting?” Matt frowns

“Gosh!” Tom raises a hand to his forehead “I had completely forgotten about that!”

“Tom bought a painting from Mark’s boyfriend?” Matt laughs and Tom shakes his head

“They’re _not_ boyfriends!” Tom says and stops “Well, I mean not yet... Where is it, by the way?” He wonders, suddenly taking a twist in his subject

“I haven’t recieved it yet” David shrugs “I just figured it’s still in exhibit, they said they would send it to me as soon as they closed it”

“Good” Tom nods “So” He says as he finishes his beer “Who’s up for another round?” He asks and both David and Matt raised their hands.

Reality snaps back to himself and Tom think they shouldn't have drank that much, they had gotten pretty wasted and Tom was feeling it now on his head as he picked up Julio and sits up, gathering his courage to walk towards the kitchen. He finds Matt and David sitting side by side on the table, looking at something on Matt’s laptop, David’s chin resting on his shoulder. He quickly lifts up his head when Tom walks into the room.

Tom frowns and places Julio on the table “Good morning you two” He says as Julio walks over to Matt, moving over his computer and lying down on top of his keyboard, deciding to sleep there.

“Really?” Matt asks him a bit pissed “Didn’t you have a better place?” He asks the cat, but Julio can only purr. David laughs

“Do you want coffee?” The tall guy asks as he picks up the jar

“Did you make that?” Tom asks and David nods “Then yes”

"Hey! What if it were my coffee?!?" Matt asks slightly outraged

"Your coffee is not Dave's" Tom smirks as he sits down on the table, David hands him the warm mug and Tom takes a sip “I… I think I made a decision” He says and both Matt and David look up and turn to him, waiting for him to speak “I… I _am_ going to take the offer after all”

Both Matt and David sigh, letting it sink in, that it could be the end of Strange Times.

“We…” Matt starts again “We should probably call in an emergency meeting for monday morning. Let everyone know what is happening”

“Yeah, I agree” Tom nods

“Do you plan on keep it going?” David frowns

“Definetly” Tom says eagerly “I am not letting everyone hang dry and I’ll still be working with you… Just all the way across the earth, that’s all…” He then looks down at his hands, he never thought there would be a day he would leave this all behind “I need the help of you two, I leave on wednesday, so since today is saturday..." Tom starts doing the math in his head

"You have four days to get everything done” David answers for him and Tom nods worriedly

“Don’t worry, buddy” Matt walks over and taps his back, Tom looks up smiling at him “We’ve got your back”

***

“Where is Jared?”

Toni, Frank and Megan look between each other. Toni and Frank sit on the couch; Megan sits in front of them as they continue to talk. It takes a good hour until a car stops in front of the house, they all look outside and see Jared thanking the person inside the Jeep, watching them leave as he waved. Jared takes slow steps inside the garage, clutching onto his leather jacket, they all immediately notice something is wrong.

“I’m sorry” Jared takes a deep breath as he reaches them “We were having a meeting at work”

“Yeah, you told us, we just didn’t think it would take so long” Megan laughs, crossing her arms as she holds her drumsticks

“It was the longest and most confusing meeting I think I have ever been to…” He explains and Toni frowns

“Did something happen?” She asks concerned as she gets up, something creeps up her spine “Is everything okay with Strange Times?”

“I am not sure”

“What do you mean, you’re not sure?” Toni asks

Jared sighs

Toni takes a deep breath, closing her eyes “What the fuck did Tom do?” She asks, afraid of what she might hear. Jared draws in a sharp, shaken breath.

“Tom is moving to Australia” He breaks out suddenly

Everything falls silent for a moment, the earth stops spinning.

 _“God”_ Megan whispers, walking closer to Toni. Frank gets up as well. Toni takes a sharp breath.

“He what?” She asks carefully

“He didn’t tell you?” Jared frowns

“He said he was offered a job, but in no moment he indicated he was going to say yes…” Toni says, her bottom lip shaking “He can’t do this. He leaves in two days! It’s too late already!”

“He hasn’t been planning this, if it makes you feel any better…” Jared shrugs “It is pretty sloppy and he hasn’t even said anything about replacements. He doesn’t seem too concerned to leave things straight, it’s like he is running out the clock” Jared explains and Toni moves to sit on the couch, trying to process everything as she places both hands on her head. Megan sits by her side, wrapping an arm around her.

“Okay” Toni breathes in deeply, nodding to herself, letting it sink “What about you?” She lifts her head as she looks at Jared. The boy opens his mouth, but then closes it again. He holds back a scoff, looking away

“I quit the job” He tells her quietly

“You _what_?” Frank asks “Why did you do that?!?”

“I have no idea” Jared shrugs, rubbing his own arm, a faint smile on his lips “Nothing is sure as of now, David and Matt are supporting him but I can see they’re scared as well, no one knows what the future holds… For any of us…”

“Then why did you leave? I am sure things will get settled soon enough” Megan wonders

“Because I have you guys…” Jared sighs, smiling at his bandmates, as they all snap their heads at him “I want to give this band a hundred percent of myself. I decided that the moment said that he was leaving” He explains, “Well, not a hundred percent because I still have college, so…”

Megan smiles “God!” She laughs and gets up “That’s great Jared!” She giggles and runs up to him to give him a hug, which he laughs to when she jumps on top of him

“Thanks” He smiles and Frank walks up from Toni’s side, going up to him as well

“That’s amazing, man!” He says as he hugs Jared. Jared hugs him back and when he pulls away, he looks down at Toni, waiting a reaction from her

“Tom… He…” Toni starts to stutter, tears prickling at her eyes “He _can’t_ leave! He can’t leave me! That is not fair!”

“Toniiii” Megan whines, dragging at the end, she walks over and helps her get up, wrapping an arm around Toni’s shoulders again “Come on, let’s be happy for Jared, alright?” She asks rubbing the younger girl’s arm “We can go out and buy something sweet, what do you think?”

Toni shakes her head “I need to… I need to _go_ ” She says before she quickly looks over the garage, scanning her eyes for her backpack she had brought back from school with the last things she had left in her locker. She runs over and picks it up, blindly walking outside into the darkening afternoon.

Megan looks over to Frank, giving him a look “What?” He asks his sister confused before she shoves him in Toni’s direction. Frank frowns but follows the girl outside.

Toni turns into the street, Frank walks fast-pacedly behind her “Where are you going?” He asks carefully

“I… I need to find Tom” She then stops, Frank bumps into her back and knocks her foward, but he holds her right on time before she falls. Toni doesn’t seem to notice as she keeps going on ahead.

“Where are you going?” Frank asks “Do you even know the direction? Tom’s house is really fucking far away!”

Toni still doesn’t stop

 _“Toni!”_ Frank abruptly runs in front of her, stopping her on her tracks and placing both hands on her shoulders “Come on, let’s go back to my car and we will find him… Alright?”

Toni takes a deep breath and nods before she lets Frank wrap an arm around her, guiding her back to his house. He helps her get in the car drives her off to the other side of town. It starts raining halfway through the trip and Toni places her hand on the window as she looked outside, her insanely short fingernails tipping on the glass. It is weird since it is just the middle of spring, but Frank grows worriedly as it starts to get cold. When he stops at one of the red signs, he looks over the backseat, searching for his hoodie that should be thrown somewhere, he pulls it closer and places it on top of Toni carefully, hoping she will say something, or at least look at him.

The boy pratically tucks her in and she looks down at his hands placing the fabric with care, being cautious to not touch her and send her off the edge, something stings in her and she feels like she might cry right there. Toni looks over to Frank, who is watching her patiently, something warm in his eyes as they meet each others.

“Thank you” Toni quickly whispers with a broken voice before she turns away again, Frank looks at her, he wishes there was something he could do right now, but it’s best to just sit and drive while the sound and the cold of the rain swallowed them full. 

A honk beeps behind them and Frank looks foward, seeing that the light had gone green again, disturbing him out of his thoughts. He grabs the wheel and shifts the gear, going off again “You’re welcome” He whispers back at her, but again, she doesn’t react.

It still takes them a bit more than half an hour to arrive at Tom’s house since Frank decides to drive slower in the pouring rain, he couldn’t see anything on the road anyway. She looks outside the window and the house seems to swallow her “He’s home” Toni gulps dryly as she sees Tom’s SUV parked in the driveway

“Do you want me to wait you here or do you want me to go inside with you?”  

“I need you to go” Toni whispers at him, Frank looks over with a hurt expression, Toni looks up at him again, sinking into the hoodie he had borrowed her

“What?!” Frank asks “I am not leaving you here! What if you need a ride home?”

“Tom will call me an Uber or something, I will be fine” Toni nods “Is it okay if I keep the hoodie?”

“Sure” Frank nods, somewhat upset. Toni opens the door of the car and runs towards the porch with her backpack, avoiding to step in any puddles when she pulls the hood over her short bleach blonde hair to not get any water on it. Frank sighs before shifting the rear gear and driving away, not even waiting for Toni to ring the doorbell, the girl just watches him leave.

She looks at herself, wet and pathetic as she stood at the front porch of a man who owed her nothing. She watches Frank’s car driving away and guilt washes over her, she shouldn’t have treated him like that.

Toni looks back at the house, now standing on the porch and away from the rain. She brings down the hood of Frank’s jacket and carefully knocks at the door, waiting a while until Tom opens up the door.

He is wearing pajama pants and a simple white shirt, his hair damp from a shower. “What are you doing here?” He asks quietly

“You know what I am doing here” Toni tells him and Tom sighs before nodding

“Okay, do you want to com…”

 _“Go away!”_ Toni yells suddenly as she dodges past him, running inside the house. Tom stands at the door, looking back confused before he hears a door heavily closing inside.

Tom closes the front door and walks inside and towards his own room, he knocks on the door and waits a while.

“Go away!” She yells again “Isn’t that what you do best?”

“Toni… I…” Tom starts  

“What? Going to change your number and never talk to me again?” She cuts him off

“No… I don’t want that, Toni. I…” Tom starts, but then he looks around to a desk on the hallway, he takes a paper clip from the tiny cup on top of it, he unfolds the metal and stucks it into the keyhole, opening the door without much trouble.

Toni is lying on his bed, looking up at the glass ceiling, watching the rain fall down on top of it, Sally is lying curled up on her side. Toni sighs when she sees Tom walking in and he shows her the paper clip on his hand

“I should’ve guessed you would do that” She looks up again, resuming what she had been doing.

“Well, I am a master after all…” Tom nods before moving to sit beside her on the bed “Did you just come here to be mad at me and lie down in my bed?”

“I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know where to go…” Toni breathes out “You were always the most logical place…” She explains as she looks down at her hands.

“This isn’t about your dad, is it?” Tom asks carefully

Toni sighs, “Dad is happy with Matt” She tells him “They really like each other…”

“I know” Tom blurs out

“Dad will be happy, he’s got Trav as a friend, Matt as lover, you know?” Toni starts, her eyes filling up with tears, Tom’s heart softens and he can hear it shatter in a thousand pieces. He never wanted to hurt her “But I can’t replace you” She says and quickly raises a hand to clean her tear with the sleeve of Frank’s hoodie.

“Hey, no. Honey” Tom tries to get closer to her, he places a hand on her hair and she lets him “Toni… I… You think this is easy?” He asks with a breaking voice “You think it’s easy to just uproot everything you have and leave? To leave your coworkers and the people who trust you and your work that you’ve taken years to build? To leave the love of your life behind? To leave your best friend? The kids you’ve raised as if they were your own?”

Toni looks up, her eyes bloodshot.

“It’s not easy to leave!” Tom shakes his head “If it was, I would’ve done it twenty-two years ago! Toni, it has gotten to a point in my life that I cannot hold back anymore! I don’t really have a choice…” He tells her “I want to go to Australia! I want to start again!”

“That is not fair!” Toni whines and Tom grows annoyed 

“What is fair then?” He asks a bit too harshly “Sit here and wait for you to come whenever you or your dad need me?” 

Tom looks up at him, and she realizes the down parts of her arguments. She swallows her pride and shakes her head “I am sorry” She lets out in a whisper “I really am so selfish for wanting you to stay…” She shakes her head, looking back at Tom, his eyes soft at her “I’ve been so selfish to break the bends between you and my dad, and I feel bad I’ve put you both through trouble and in the end it has taken the three of us nowhere”

Tom chuckles, he shakes his head “It has taken us amazing places, Toni!” He smiles, cleaning her tears away, her breathing now growing into sobbing, as she could not control it anymore “You created this amazing band! I am finally making my dreams of writing a novel coming to truth, and your dad is better in his career now more than ever… You found love, your dad found did too and I foun…” He starts and stops, he frowns and Toni sighs, shaking her head slightly

“You found closure!” Toni tells him “You’ve broken off your chains, you’re free! I’m selfish for wanting you to stay, Tom…” She looks down again, “How long are you going to stay there?”

“For now its fifteen months, it can be longer though…”

Toni takes in a shaky breath, trying to process everything “Have you told dad?”

Tom shakes his head “When I get there I’ll let him know somehow,” Tom says and Toni nods “Don’t tell them, okay?” Tom tells her and she nods

“Why?” Toni asks

“I don’t wanna hurt his feelings”

Toni shakes her head slightly “You will only make things worse”

Tom sighs, Toni decides to change the subject

“Hopefully when you get back we will already have tons of amazing music” Toni smiles, and he chuckles back at her “I will miss you like crazy, Tom”

“I think I’ll miss you even more” Tom smiles and pulls her into a hug.

Toni hugs him back, this is the second hardest thing she had to do in her life, that because the first was having to go to her mother’s funeral.

“So… This is goodbye then?” Toni asks, still into the hug “I’ll only see your ugly face over a year from now?”

Tom sighs, “Yeah, pretty much, I guess,” He tells her and she nods

“Okay then” She pulls away, getting up and cleaning away her tears “We should leave now, then. Get this over with already”

Tom smiles, but she grows a little tense. “Is something wrong?” He asks concerned

Toni turns back to him, she smiles sadly and takes a deep breath “Your life is just waiting to begin, Tom. You… You have to stop living my dad’s life… Or my mom’s, or mine even! You have been waiting this for over twenty years” Toni says and cleans away a tear of her own “Both your life and mine… We both start our lives, we both start them in two days, when I graduate and when you move. It’s going to be a deal-breaker…"

Tom doesn’t hold it anymore, he pulls her into another hug, crying into her shoulder. Toni lets him, it’s better now than when they actually need to say goodbye.

“I love you, kid” Tom tells her, trying to calm himself down

“I love you too, Tom” She smiles as she pulls back. Tom gets up and steps away, looking at Sally, Toni notices she hasn’t moved since she got there “What is up with her?”

Tom shakes his head “I gave her some meds to see how she would react to them on the plane, though I gave her like half a dose only so one piil should knock her out for nine hours…” He explains as he nods to himself

“I thought the flight was fourteen hours long…” Toni interjects

“We are going to Tokyo first, there is no way she will take fourteen hours…” Tom rolls his eyes “Do you need me to drop you home?” Tom asks as he walks over to his closet, looking for a clean pair of pants. That is when Toni notices three suitcases open and scattered across the floor with random articles of clothing, she sighs to herself.

“Yeah, I don’t really feel like taking the bus back” Toni explains

“That’s okay, I’ll drive you home” Tom shrugs as he looks for his pants “I just need to change…”

“Actually” Toni stops him “Do you need help with packing? I can help you if you want…”

Tom looks around, seeing there was still some stuff to get organized “Hm, I am packing everything so that Matt and David will ship whatever I can’t take with me just now so they won’t have the hassle later” Tom explains “Of course I’m not taking the entire house with me, but like, linens and towels and remaining clothes, you know? I’m just taking the basics…”

“I can help” Toni nods

“Okay” Tom smiles as he throws the pants away “You think we can grab some Sombrero’s afterwards?”

“Why not?” She smiles back at him, and he only smiles even harder.


	29. May 19th, 2017

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like to do this, at all, but I feel like I have to be honest now...
> 
> To the people who are closer to me, I feel like it's known that ever since I started posting this story I have been having second thoughts and doubts about it - Not like, the plot or the characters, because I love those with my entire heart! But I mean, publication wise, I am insanely unsatisfied. 
> 
> Every now and then I think about stop publishing it and how it's just humiliating I'm trying to make tomark a thing these days or that it's a half/half fic. I mean, I have a lot of insecurities about my stories, but I am always willing to put them out there, because I love them and I am proud! And I always figure people will like to read something as gigantic as the things I write because I damn sure would be thrilled to find a new 100.000+ words blink fic at this day and age (Not that I'm bragging this story is like three or four years old lol) 
> 
> I always try to punish myself for feeling these things because I don't want to, I don't want to feel like there is something wrong with my story, because somehow that is worse than having something wrong within myself. My stories have more of my personality than I myself will ever have in the sentences I say in a daily basis. 
> 
> I wish there were more people putting their stuff out there too! I have friends I can talk about fics and stories with but at the same time I feel like there's something missing. (And I lowkey wish more people could come up to me and discuss my story, even if it's hard as shit to admit this, I mean, I have some pride - not really)
> 
> Also I am bringing this up because I have a new fic I really want to start posting - If I can manage to write more but I basically already have the entire plot in my mind - but I get worried that if I'm feeling like this right now, for a fic that is the level of CH, it doesn't mean it's going to change with this new one. 
> 
> I mean, It's WAY smaller than this one and it's more like a comedy/crack and I really want to put it out there, but I don't know, I'm tired of having doubts. I just wanted to put this out there and share these feelings because I feel like my friends are tired of hearing me trying to talk myself out of quitting and my therapist doesn't know what a fanfic is so hooray. I am truly sorry for all the rambling
> 
> And by the way, I was rereading the last chapter I posted this morning in class because of course I was insane bored and I wanted to kill myself over how cheesy some parts were like omg I think I had a lot of feelings the day I wrote that oh my fucking GOD!

Toni scratches her butt and Megan snatches her hand away

“Will you stop that?!” The other girl asks “I was kind enough to borrow you my fancy gown my rich parents bought with their dirty money, I don’t want any nasty asshole smell in it”

“Fuck, Megan! I keep getting a wedgie!” Toni whines as she shifts on her seat while the orange-headed finishes styling her hair with a curling iron.

“Take the wedgie! Breathe in the wedgie! Live on the wedgie!” Megan says dramatically, and as soon as she stops, she looks around and notices the other kids staring at her with confused looks _“You go to school with a bunch of brats!”_ She whispers into Toni ear, who chuckles into her own hands

“I used to, you mean…” Toni points out as Megan does her final touches

“There’s still proooom…” Megan says in a sing-song voice

“Oh… Yeah” Toni rubs nervously into her arm

“Are you ready to look at your _braaaaand_ new, graduation hair?” Megan asks dramatically and Toni laughs

 _“Hell yeah!_ ” She yells and Megan places both her hands on the chair, as if she was going to turn Toni around in the spin seat, but of course, since it’s an old wooden public school chair, things don’t turn out the way she wants and just a loud screech echoes around the room. The kids look at her annoyed again.

“Just get up yourself, will you?” Megan snaps and Toni laughs before standing, she walks towards the mirror someone from the comitee had set up in the room just for the ocasion. Toni laughs as she places her hand in front of her mouth surprised at her amazingly styled curly hair, which was short and blonde and fabulous. Megan creeps in from behind her “You’re welcome for the amazing job” She chuckles

Toni turns around again and jumps in on a hug with her friend and bandmate, who laughs as she hugs her back “Thank you so much, Megan! I will forever owe you one! Thank you, thank you, thank youuuu!”

“It’s okay, sis. You don’t owe me anything, alright?” She asks and Toni only hugs her tighter. She then pulls back so they can gather their things and they walk outside together. The cerimony was being held outside, Toni wondered if it was a really good idea since it was summer already, but it didn’t matter in the end. The chairs were laid out and some parents had already taken their seats, first come first serve. Each kid could invite three people to the cerimony, so between her and Paul, they invited Mark, Megan, Frank, Jared, and, of course, Matt and Tom.

Toni feels something grumble in her stomach when she thinks the two of them will be here, this isn’t really up to turn out the greatest afternoon of all, even if she wants them both to be there.

“It’s starting to get crowded, maybe we should go find where everyone is” Megan suggests and Toni nods

“Sure” She agrees as she moves ahead, following Megan, they walk around until they find Matt, Mark and Frank sitting together. Toni then shows up with Megan, who started talking to Matt as Mark and Frank turned their looks to the bleach-blonde girl in the black gown

“Oh my God!” Mark smiles as he gets up, going in for a hug to his little girl “Gosh, honey, you look beautiful!” He says breath-taken

“Thanks dad” She smiles back “Has Paul come by so far?”

“I…” Mark starts as he looks behind himself, but he can’t because the sun is blocking his face “I think he’s making out with some girl in the back”

“Oh” Toni nods with a chuckle “Good for him”

“Yes, I agree” Mark laughs back with her, pulling out his phone “Let me take a picture”

 _“Dad!”_ Toni whines

“Come on! Just one!”

Toni sighs before making a pose, Mark smiles as he brings the phone down again and she walks back up to him

“I’ll get another one of you and Paul when he comes back” Mark says, but then Toni only whines again “Stop whining, you’re a high school graduate now!”

“Oh, wow, I didn’t know about that, I thought I was getting my big girl certificate today!” Toni adds sarcastically and Mark lightly punches her in the arm. Suddenly everyone starts being called to their seats. Toni says goodbye to everyone before Megan hands her the hat.

She rushes towards the set up stage, placing the square on her head, she finds the seats that were reserved for the students and she eyes Paul without much trouble, sitting by Hannahs side, who waves at Toni to find them, Toni smiles as she sits by her brothers side.

“Hey Hannah!” Toni smiles as she waves at her brother’s girlfriend before she turns to her sibiling “Brace yourselves cause dad is in picture mode today”

“Oh God!” Paul whines as he throws his head back “Is he doing snapchat?”

“Fuck!” Toni yelps as she yanks out her phone going through snapchat and opening her dad’s story, finding a picture of her with the deer filter in the graduation gown. Paul bursts out laughing “This is not funny!” Toni tells him amused, but trying to hard to sound harsh.

The picture then changes, to one where Matt was looking into the distance. Both Toni and Paul look between each other awkwardly.

Then it changes to the exact same thing but Frank photobombing in the back this time. Toni and Paul crackle again.

***

 _“Fuck!”_ Tom curses himself as soon as he arrives at the football field, seeing that the cerimony had already started and the valedictorian was at the stage, talking to all his fellow students and their parents eagerly. Something about good grades, hard work and college, though those kids weren’t all like that, this was public school after all.

Tom is only wearing a short-sleeved button down, the only one he had. He started jogging towards the seats in front of the stage, slowing down as he got closer, he started walking through the sides looking for his party.

“Look, Tom is right over there” Megan points out from Mark’s side, nudging him.

“Oh” Mark says quickly as he lifts up his arm, waving at Tom. The younger man sighs relieved when he finds them

“There you are” Tom breathes out as he scoots over, sitting by Jared’s side. Mark gives him an okay with his hand and Tom nods, indicating everything was okay before he turned his attention back to the stage. Jared looks over to Tom and they exchange a confused glance “So…” Tom starts as he taps his large hands on his knees anxiously “How is everything going?”

“Good” Jared nods, trying to ignore the awkwardness

“Are you guys playing over the summer?” Tom asks, leaning into his intern. Well, ex-intern. Jared nods

“Yeah, we are pretty hyped” The boy smiles

Tom looks at his own hands and sighs “Does Toni know? That you left?”

Jared nods “Yeah, she does”

“I see” Tom then lifts up his head “Jared, I… I need to tell you something…”

“What is it?” Jared frowns, keeping his head low to not disturb the other families

“I owe you an apology” Tom looks up as well, looking at Jared’s eyes “I actually owe everyone an apology, this wasn’t supposed to happen like this. I am sorry for taking off and I’m sorry that you felt that you have to leave” He explains and Jared gulps dryly

“Thanks” The boy nods and smiles "Though I'm pretty happy where I am. I honestly think it was the right decision, you know?”

"I agree" Tom tells him with a smile

“What?” Jared laughs

“Yeah, I mean, you are the best intern we have ever had, Jared” Tom laughs it out, a glint in his eyes “You don’t deserve some weirdo blog” He scoffs “You’re gonna get so much more with your life, and joining Toni right now will get you to the right places” Tom points Frank and Megan “She has more to offer than I do, maybe not right now, but she will someday... And if you need anything, you can come talk to me”

“Gosh, Tom, I…” Jared starts to stutter “Thank you!”

Tom smiles “You’re welcome, kid” He nods and gives out his fist for the boy to bump, without he does without blinking.

When they look foward again, the kids are already forming a line on the side of the stage to walk up and get their certificates “Look, it has started” Frank nudges Jared to pay attention, that is when he and Tom notice the cerimony had begun.

 _“Edward James Sullivan”_ The name echoes through the field and Mark gets up, walking to the front of the stage, Tom notices from his end. That is when he realizes Matt is here and sitting right by his side, though he doesn’t get up. Something grumbles inside Tom’s guts, though Matt doesn’t look back, he is just sitting too far away.

Tom sighs, he is happy for Mark, he really is.

 _“Elise Charlotte Hoppus”_ It echoes, Toni goes up on stage and looks down at Mark and laughs at him, who is now taking pictures obnouxiously. Something washes over Tom: Pride. He suddenly gets up from his seat, but he doesn't move from there, he claps his hands insanely loud. Toni immediately notices him.

 _“Woooo!! Go Toni!!”_ Tom shouts at the top of his lungs. Toni grabs her tube and smiles at her dad again _“Tooonii!!!!!”_ Tom yells again, wavering his arms and the girl stops on her way, looking at the crowd and seeing the tall man throwing his arms all around for her. Tom smiles like an idiot when she looks at him.

Toni grins and Tom sees in her eyes the same thing he is feeling himself: Pride.

Toni takes the tassel of her hat, putting it from one side to the other and she smiles and waves at Tom right after she does. He smiles stupidly and sees her running to the stairs by the stage, hugging her father after a run as soon as she is down.

Tom sits down and breathes to himself.

***

Megan, Matt and Frank excuse themselves as they around, looking for a vending machine or any other type of food, preferably free. Jared was taking pictures of Toni and Paul as Mark requested them to do all sorts of classic poses like, throwing their hats up in the air, showing off the tubes and hugging each other.

Then Tom comes along

“Come on” He starts, joining the twins as he showed them how to pose “Like, Paul, you can bend and then Toni comes from beh…”

“Tom!” Mark shouts, but Jared laughs as the twins stand confused.

“No!! Come on! Where is your fun spirit, Mark?” Tom whines “Okay, so we are gonna do something different then. Toni, spread your legs…”

Mark laughs “Tom, I am serious!” he steps in foward towards him

“Okay, I’ll stop” Tom rolls his eyes and pouts as he crosses his arms.

“Hey, hm” Mark scratches the back of his head as Toni and Paul get distracted as Jared shows them the pictures he has so far. “We are gonna eat some pizza’s later, back at home, I was wondering if you are gonna go before your flight?”

“Actually” Tom puts both hands on the pockets of his jeans “I need to go early because I am taking the flight from LA, Matt and David are dropping me there…” He explains with a nod.

 _“Oh_! I see...” Mark says surprised “So, you’re gonna leave right after this?”

“Yeah, everything is loaded into my car already and Sally is at the vet getting a trim, we are meeting up when they go get her, it’s going to be a long flight, you know?”

“Why are you taking her with you anyway?” Mark laughs “You are just going to spend a month there, she should be fine with your neighbors, shouldn’t she?”

“I…” Tom then breathes in, should he tell Mark? Is it really worth it? Would it make him feel better? The thoughts surround his head, but he can only focus on Mark’s smile as he turns to his kids, he looks over to Toni and Paul laughing and hugging each other for a picture. From then Mark slowly turns back to him, waiting an answer, the world stops still for a moment.

Tom then sees himself as a teen, sitting in the garage of his house, waiting for a friend to show up to introduce him to her brother, and the years go by as he sees them laughing and making jokes, Tom tells him his biggest secret and gets a hug in return, no yelling, no judging. Tom sees the two boys sharing their first kiss, their first night together, the times they would wake up at night and drive in direction to nowhere, crazy in teenage love. The boys played together and suddenly they are in studio recording an album. An accident washes by and Tom wakes up in a chair of a white hospital room, scared he was going to lose the most precious thing in his life with tears in his eyes. He sees Elise, adoringly smiling at her, the way she would treat him with care and respect, how she was his best friend. Tom walks into another hospital room and a baby girl is handed to him, then he is consoling Mark at Elise’s funeral and hugging him tight, he teaches the girl to ride the skate and pictures Elliott screaming at him. Mark sobs on his shoulder and the girl squeezes Tom’s hand as he drops her on her first day in middle school, she runs to his house on her first day of high school. The same girl now with blonde hair smiles as she plays keyboards on his living room and she laughs with him as they toast marshmallows in the woods. Mark smiles back to him, and a wave of emotions wash over him as he lies naked on Tom’s arms, fireworks over both of them, Jim laughs and Toni screams at him for leaving them.

Tom sees Matt standing in the door of Mark's house, their eyes glinting to each other as Tom stood by like a passenger, like a stranger. 

That chapter of his life is over. As much as Tom hates to admit it.

An entire _life_ had just flashed in front of his eyes.

It has been almost twenty-five years in a couple of months. _Twenty-five years_. There are doctors out there who are younger than that.

Mark is happy and taken, the kids are grown, Elise is not around anymore and Toni will be moving on with her life. She probably won’t need the weird family friend posing for incestuous pictures in her sucessful life as a musician, the life that he and Mark were supposed to have together. But that’s all in the past. They all deserve to move on, including himself.

Tom eyes Mark’s hand, one that once brought him remorse and gulit by scars and burns now brings him joy and fulfilment whenever he sees the octopus, which Mark had added a few details into the past week and was still healing, but still no colors yet.

Tom feels a tear prickle in his eye, he quickly breathes it in, swallows it down and wipes it out, Mark frowns at him.

“Is everything okay?” He asks placing a hand on Tom’s arm. A few seconds had taken a lifetime in Tom's mind

“I…” Tom closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, Mark cannot see him cry “I am really proud of you, Mark” Tom says and Mark leans his head to the side confused “I am so proud that you raised these kids by yourself and everything you overcame and just” Tom shakes his head “I really wish you all the best in life, you know?”

“Tom, what is going on?” Mark asks concerned

“I... I am moving out”

Mark stops on his tracks, laughing “What? To where? You love Encinitas!”

“I want to move to Australia” Tom nods “That’s why I am taking Sally with me”

Mark frowns, he looks to his side and back to his kids, taking it in “Why… Why didn’t you tell me before you wanted this?”

“Because I decided it like two nights ago” Tom explains “I was too busy setting in more stuff and arranging flight beauracacy for Sally and my lugage, I even needed to change flights. We are staying a night in Tokyo becuase she wouldn’t take fourteen hours of flight straight to Sydney…”

“Oh, I see” Mark nods, putting both hands on the pockets of his pants, tucking his baby blue button down shirt in “So…” Mark gulps dryly "You're serious about this, huh?"

"Yeah" Tom nods

“When will I get to see you again? Three months? Six?”

Tom shrugs “Fifteen actually…”

Mark suddenly looks hurt, and Tom knows that he was the one to cause that, he feels the tears wanting to come up again _“Okay”_ Mark nods, trying to let it sink in

“Mark, I need you to und…” Tom starts again, but Mark doesn’t hold it, he lunges foward and hugs Tom with all that he is worth, placing his head on the taller one’s shoulder, lying it there and taking in a broken breath. A tear escapes Tom’s eye but he is glad Mark doesn’t see it. He wraps both arms around the older man, somewhat upset that they both know this is it.

“Some say our biggest fears are things that have already happened to us” Mark blurs out, and Tom hears the tears in his voice “I never wanted this to happen, I never wanted you to leave. I never wanted it to end the way it did”

Tom sighs, he knows Mark is talking about when they first broke up twenty-three years ago. He cleans the other tear he let it spill, because Mark never lost him.

Not at all. Not even a tiny bit.

Mark then pulls back, fully knowing that he has to. He cleans away his tears, not ashamed of them, looking at Tom from head to toe.

“You should talk to Toni” Mark nods, refraining back “And Paul too”

Tom nods as well “I will”

“Call me when you get there”

“I will do that was well”

“Good” Mark nods “Bye Tom”

“Goodbye, Mark” He breathes out. Mark starts walking and turns away, just like one thick bandage. No pain.

Tom looks around, seeing if he can recognize anyone of his party nearby. Thankfully he sees Toni and Shawn talking, Tom reocgnizes him by the height and the sturdy features, noticing the boy had lost some weight since they broke up, they both laugh at something Shawn said and they nod to each other. They exchange hugs as Tom comes closer, Toni waves goodbye to her ex and walks up to Tom again, doing little jumps as she holds her hat in her hands

“So… How does it feel?” Tom asks, raising an eyebrow and Toni shrugs

“I feel the same” She sighs, thinking about graduating in general “I guess it didn’t matter after all”

“Yeah” Tom smiles and nods “So, what were you and Shawn talking about?”

“Just saying goodbye” Toni explains “I hardly think we will see each other after this… I hardly think I will see any of these people after today” She says and Tom nods

“Yeah, that’s definetly going to happen” He laughs before they fall into silence again

“So…” Toni starts as she looks down at her hands “You’re leaving now?” She asks him and Tom slowly starts to nod, complying to her question “Okay” Toni breathes in “I guess we should say goodbye now”

“Yeah, we should” Tom smiles and looks at her proudly before giving her a hug, they pull back and he quickly goes through his messenger bag "Oh, I have something for you!"

Toni frowns "What is it?" She asks as she fixes her ironed curly hair and Tom pulls out a black leather book, handing it to her. Toni takes it in her hands, frowning at him and at the book, giving him a questioning look. 

"That is the notes for my novel" Tom smiles at her, I already have everything I need on my computer, I really want you to have that"

"Tom, I..." She looks at it stunned "I can't take this! You don't know if you'll need it!" But he just shrugs it off 

"You don't have to read it now" He tells her, the wind now facing her light blonde hair "You can read whenever you want, really. I... I am dedicating the book after you and your mom"

Toni looks up at him, her eyes going soft "You are what?"

"You heard me right" He laughs, but he can't help but feel his heart shrink a little "Just don't tell your dad, I don't want to have to deal with that right now"

Toni feels something clogging up her throat, she tells herself to take some breaths, she knows she will cry and ruin her makeup if she doesn't do this. Tom lets her be, he knows what she is going through right now "Oh God" She whispers and shakes her head. Tom laughs with a smile “You go live your life, and you go be happy,” Toni then looks up, reaching out and patting his back 

“I love you, kid” Tom tells her and Toni pulls back “Don’t ever forget that, okay?” He asks and Toni nods

“I won’t” She says before giving him a kiss on the cheek, stepping away from him “Bye, Tom” She waves him just slightly as she starts walking away. Tom waves back, hearing his heart break into a million pieces inside his chest.

As Toni walks away, the book in her hands, a wave of emotions wash over her and she notices she needs to sit down, otherwise she will just fall to her knees at anytime. She looks at the cover, but doesn't dare to open or look at it, she will when she feels that the time is right. It’s like motion sickness, but it’s another type of motion. She finds the seats by the stage that were now empty, walking over and sitting down in the middle of the front row, looking back at the few other people still sitting. Some trashed, a few couples making out and one kid is being yelled at by her parents nearby. Toni sighs and sinks her head into her hands, trying to think of her happy place.

“You’re going to ruin your pretty hair like that” A familiar voice says in front of her, Toni looks up and sees Frank eyeing her down, he gestures to the seat by her side and she nods, indicating that he could sit.

Frank sits and places a hand on Toni’s hair, placing the curls back on their place.

“I never thanked you for dropping me off at Tom’s the other day. So… Thank you” Toni says and Frank nods

“You’re welcome”

“And also, I’m sorry I didn’t show up for rehearsal since then. I wasn't even sure if you were going to show up today, but I am really glad you came”

“I understand, it's okay, I was going to come even if there was a storm” Frank smiles at her and she giggles “How are you feeling?”

“Well, I just said goodbye to Tom, so pretty shitty, I guess” She explains “Feeling even worse that when I fell flat on my face right there on the first step” She tells him as she points to one of the bleachers, Frank laughs “I was only a freshman, that was a beautiful day. My crush saw it front row, it was humiliating” She says with a laugh as well

“I saw you talking to Shawn…” Frank starts as he looks down at his own hands 

“Yeah, just discussing some stuff…” Toni nods

“Like what?”

“Well, he asked me if I was dating anyone and I said no, so he asked me out for prom…”

 _“Oh”_ Frank’s eyes widen and he looks away, trying to think of something to say back “So… Is he taking you on his car, or…?”

Toni laughs “I’m not going with him” She smiles as she shakes her head

“So… Who are you going with?”

“He still hasn’t asked me”

“How do you know he hasn’t asked anyone else?” Frank frowns

“Because, I just _know_ ” Toni laughs again, shaking her head

“Maybe you should ask him anyway, you don’t want to wait too long…”

“You really think I should do that?” Toni asks as she sits up straight in her chair, Frank nods

“Yeah, you don’t want to play hard to get, right?” Frank shakes his head, popping a gum into his mouth casually and starting to chew into it.

"Do you want to help me then?" Toni questions and Frank sighs in deeply

"Sure" He shrugs, trying to play it casual "What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing, just be my side when he says yes"

"How are you so sure he's going to say yes?" Frank raises an eyebrow, questioning her almost mockingly

"Yeah, I guess you're right" Toni nods and looks away, thinking to herself for a couple of seconds before she turns back, her heart almost bursting out of her ribcage “Frank?” She calls him as she runs a hand through her hair

“Yeah?” He asks, still chewing on his gum

“Do you want to go to prom with me?”

Toni closes her eyes, waiting for the answer, but she gets nothing, after a couple of seconds she opens them and sees Frank staring at her blankly, his mouth open and his blue gum hanging on the corner of his mouth

“Frank, your…” Toni points to her own lips, he then closes his own and cleans the gum away, putting it on a random piece of confetti he picks off the grass.

“I’m sorry” He says as he wipes his mouth on the back of his hand “I… You want to go to prom with _me_?” He asks more carefully, pointing at his own chest

“Yeah!” Toni chuckles and nods

“Okay, where are the cameras?” Frank frenetically looks around “Ashton! You can come out now! You got me! I’ve been _punk’d_ ” Frank starts shouting, doing hand guns at the end and Toni laughs as some kids just stare at them confused

“Frank, that show was cancelled like ten years ago!”

 _“They made a revival!”_ Frank protests

“Okay, calm down” Toni laughs, placing both hands on his arms “I am really asking you, okay?” She looks into his eyes “Is it really so hard to believe?”

“You can invite Jared! Jared is a catch and he’s taller than you” Frank says hastily

“Nah” Toni shakes her head “I don’t have a crush on Jared”

“What?” Frank then stops joking and looks dead-serious at her “You have a crush on me?”

Toni smiles and blushes madly, she knows Frank can see it and she immediately hides her face away behind her arm “I thought that was implied already” She tells him quietly

“It wasn’t” Frank smiles back, shaking his head “I… I want to go to your prom with you, okay?” He asks and she puts down her arm, nodding and smiling at him.

“It’s next friday, we can go in your car”

“Sounds good” Frank nods “We should look for your brother and your dad, people are starting to leave”

Toni looks around, noticing that the field was much less crowded than before. She nods and gets up, Frank follows her out of the field and towards the school.

Halfway along the path, Toni stops and leans to give him a kiss on the cheek, Frank stops but she keeps on moving right after. He raises a hand to his cheek and blushes to himself. His crush likes him back.


	30. May 20th, 2017

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Just wanted to let you guys know I started posting a new fic, it's call Mon Giuseppe, and it's crack and skippus and if you guys want to check that out I will be very pleased <3 
> 
> archiveofourown.org/works/10348485/chapters/22867875
> 
> AND this is the end of Act 3!!! Yay! Still two more to go!

The pizzas are all spread out on top of the kitchen table and the majority of the party was in the living room playing Red Dead Redemption, doing shit like tying people up and throwing them on the rails and watch as the train runs them over, or see who gets the highest bounty without being caught.

Toni, Mark, Travis and Megan sit in the kicthen, eating up and talking about TV shows

“But they only get together after Nigel dies! I mean, she goes to sleep at Booth’s house and she is crying about it and next thing you know she is talking about Booth’s dick” Megan says and Travis frowns

“Bones has more class than that” He takes another bite of his veggie pizza.

“She never said anything about his dick” Mark laughs

“You know what I mean” Megan protests as she picks up another slice.

“Okay” Mark starts as he finishes his piece, getting up “I’m gonna go brush my teeth and I’ll be back in a second”

“Alright” Toni smiles as Mark moves inside, going to his bedroom and closing the door of the bathroom behind himself, he brushes his teeth and rinses out his mouth, walking back into the bedroom, where he finds Matt sitting in his bed and the door closed.

“Hey you” Mark smiles as he walks closer “Do you always come here?” He asks with a laughter, stopping in front of the younger man

Matt laughs “I actually had never been to your room before” He looks around “It’s pretty cozy” He smiles as he puts a hand on the quilt

“It is” Mark smiles as he walks closer “Everything is the way Elise left, you know?” He laughs and places a hand on Matt’s face, adorning it with the back of his hand, Matt smiles back “Do you want to spend the night in?” Mark whispers

“I… I really want to, Mark, but… But Annie needs to sleep at her friend’s house then, I have to wait until she calls”

“That’s okay” Mark shrugs, trying to hide that he’s upset because he really really _really_ wanted Matt to stay in tonight. “We should get back to the party” Mark breathes out and starts walking away, but Matt gets up and grabs his hand, pulling Mark back, making the older man turn around and giving him a kiss.

Mark feels the familiar sting on his chest he breathes in deeply before licking Matt’s lip, asking for entrance, but the man pulls back, making Mark stagger towards him. Matt laughs out of adorableness.

“Come on” Matt pats his shoulder and starts pushing Mark out of his room, walking back to the living room. Everyone sticks around for a while more before Toni, Paul, Megan, Frank and Jared decide to go hang out in Travis’s garage. The man doesn’t seem to mind that the kids are probably just going to drink and play bad music all night, so Mark lets them. Soon they’ll be 18 anyway, and there is nothing he will be able to do by then. Plus, Toni and the band should be doing some other concerts over the course of the summer, he can’t even complain.

Mark closes the door behind himself when everyone is gone, Matt is sitting on the couch and flipping through Netflix catalogs, looking for something to watch.

“Annie called” Matt says as soon as Mark sits by his side

“Are you going to pick her up now?”

“Actually, she asked me to sleepover at her friend’s” Matt nods “So… If the invitation is still up, I would like to gladly accept it”

Mark smiles, he hasn’t been this happy about something other than his kids in weeks “Of course” He says and props his elbow on the couch, looking back at Matt _“Hey”_ He whispers

“Hey” Matt looks back, suddenly ignoring the TV

 _“Gosh”_ Mark breathes out, his eyes smiling as he looked into Matt’s “I really want to kiss you right now”

“I don’t know if you noticed it” Matt laughs “But you can kiss me, at _any time_ ”

“Oh _really_?” Mark raises an eyebrow “No contract needed? No pyramid scheme?”

“No” Matt laughs as he shakes his head

 _“Hm”_ Mark plays a frown “Seems odd”

“Are you calling me a whore?” Matt laughs

“Maybe I am just too into prostitution and the truth is I have never been with a virgin girl from the countryside before” 

“Maybe we should change that” Matt smiles as he grabs the collar of Mark’s shirt on his hand, pulling him closer and ghosting their lips on top of each other.

Mark breathes in, it’s still so intense for him, he can’t barely contain it “Maybe we should” He whispers to Matt before the younger man leans in for a kiss.

Again, this time, Mark asks for entrance by licking Matt’s bottom lip, which he is concieved and Mark whimpers on Matt’s lips, crawling closer to him and standing on top as they started to lie down on the couch. Matt then pulls back and looks at Mark with his pink lips, he smiles.

“I… It’s just that I am still pretty hungry” Matt laughs awkwardly before sitting up straight “Can we eat something?”

“Didn’t you eat the pizza?” Mark frowns

“Yeah, I did, but not enough, apparently” Matt runs his hand on his arm nervously

“Well, do you _want_ pizza?”

“Sure” Matt smiles as gets up, Mark follows him, trying to contain the growing bulge in his pants, closing his eyes and cursing himself.

“Are you okay?” Matt laughs as he opens the fridge, pulling the veggie pizza out

“Yeah” Mark hisses once he is sitting down “I am” He says as he forces a smile at Matt, the younger man shakes his head and leans in to give Mark a kiss on the cheek before sitting down by his side and opening the box, pulling a few pieces out and putting it on the microwave. When Matt is done with his first piece, he notices Mark looking down at his hands on top of the table, his right thumb going over his scars, and not his tattoo lines, Matt sighs.

“Are you upset?” Matt wonders

“About what?”

“About _you know what_ ”

Mark sighs, he and Matt never really had _that_ talk, at least not since they started being open about their feelings towards each other

“Maybe putting it out there will make you feel better, you know?” Matt shrugs, taking another bite from his pizza.

“What do you want me to say?” Mark breathes out

“What you feel...” Matt smiles at him and reaches out, holding his hand “It’s okay, you know?” Mark takes a deep breath, he looks into Matt’s eyes and sees compassion in them “I have been through very hard break-ups before, yours shouldn’t be any different”

“Yeah, but this is not a break-up” Mark frowns and shakes his head

“But the two of you have history” Matt smiles “And a pretty damn long one”

“Tom and I are like this porcelain cup that has been broken and put back together lots of times” Mark explains “There was never anything between us because we would fall apart just a few minutes after the hot water poured in again. I mean, Tom is gonna be fine, you know? And so am I” Mark continues, giving Matt a sweet smile, squeezing his hand “I know it’s hard, but… But it has never been this easy. I just need to… To let things go, I guess. And…” Mark frowns and looks at his hands, thinking something over

“And what?” Matt wonders

“And I guess that for it I need time”

“What do you mean?” He frowns "Time for what?"

Mark blinks as he stares at his hand, the octopus still fresh onto his skin; he takes in a sharp breath and turns to Matt “I just need to talk to him…”

Matt frowns _“What?”_

Mark gets up quickly, placing both hands on the back of his chair “I need to go to LA” Mark says simply

“But… _Now_?” Matt asks

“I need to talk to Tom… I cannot let him move away like that I... _God!_ ” Mark hisses out loudly "Fuck him!"

“You’re not…” Matt starts and thinks “You’re not doing what I think you’re doing, are you?”

Mark sighs, “I’m not sure of what I’m doing there. I… I need to see him, and then I’ll know what I have to do… I… I’m sorry…” Matt looks down at his pizza, thinking it over, Mark notices how upset he is and it hurts him, it physically hurts him to see Matt like that “I… I think you should drive”

“What?” Matt then quickly looks at Mark _“You want me to go with you?”_

Mark slowly starts to nod “There is no way I can do this any differently. I am too anxious for that”

Matt sighs, he would do it for his friend.

***

Tom eventually called an Uber to the pet store to pick up Sally, the girl made a fest when she saw him the way she always does. It was dark outside already, and Tom bought some candy on the convience store by its side, so he and Sally just sit on the curb, him eating candy as she looked at him with pleading eyes and every now and then licking his lips. “Sally” Tom muffles out as Sally is trying to get the candy from his mouth “Sally, _stop”_

Tom giggles as he and the dog playfully tease each other, he hands out the candy as if he is going to give it to her and she looks at him skeptically, as soon as she leans in to take it he pops it into his own mouth, laughing. “Here you go, girl” He says finally giving her one and patting her head, that is when Tom sees his car turning around the corner.

Matt and David are waiting him inside so Tom just hops in with Sally on the backseat.  The ride takes about two hours, like usual and it is a silent one. It’s not like they mind, it gives them time to think about the decisions they’ve all done recently, and gives Tom some time to cry a little bit more on top of it all. Sally licks his tears away and he couldn’t be happier she’s here when he needs her the most.

They arrive at the airport and Matt and David help him load his stuff away “So…” Tom says as he grabs his side bag, “I guess this is goodbye…”

“I guess it is” David smiles sadly

“I… I actually wanted to talk to you guys about something…” Tom starts “You know how now that I’ll be away I won’t be able to work with Strange Times as much…”

“Yeah, we know” Matt says “But we’re ready, Tom, we… We will try our best!”

“Jared quit, and we need work and to find a new person to edit our videos, and… And I won’t be here to make all of these decisions...” Tom explains, looking down “A lot is changing in everyone’s lives, the two of you have been such good friends to me, and I don’t want you to stay afloat for whatever decision I might make…”

“What do you mean, Tom?” David frowns “We’re okay with work, we just…”

“Dave, you’re fired” Tom says straight down and looks at his face, watching his face get heart-broken, David and Matt both look at Tom confused

“Tom, you _can’t_ do this!” Matt protests, “You just said how you want us to follow our dreams and shit! What the…”

“Matt, just wait a second, you have got to stop interrupting me like that!” Tom cries and Matt stops, taking a deep breath while David still looks confused and disappointed. Tom reaches into his bag and pulls out a set of two keys, handing them to David

“What are these?” David asks, taking the keys confused

“The keys to the place where I signed the rent for, so you can open your coffee shop…”

Matt laughs and looks over to David, who just looks perplexed at Tom _“What?!?”_

“Yes, your _own_ coffee shop!” Tom laughs, “You’re still going to work for another month at Strange Times while you set things up…”

“God, Tom” David says out of breath “Thank you so much!” He shouts happily and pulls his friend into a hug “Thank you _so_ fucking much!”

“You’re welcome!” Tom smiles pulling back and giving David a little punch on the shoulder, “I want to see the place bombing by the time I come back…”

“Wow, Tom, that’s…” Matt laughs, “That is really generous of you…”

“That is not all though” Tom shakes his head, he reaches into his bag again and pulls out another set of about four keys, with a Strange Times keychain to it. He points it over at Matt’s direction and the smaller man frowns

“What is that? What the heck did you buy me now?” Matt frowns as he takes the keys away from Tom with one swing motion

“Nothing” Tom laughs “It’s just the keys to my office and my safe and shit” Tom shakes his head, smiling like an idiot while Matt just looks at him confused “ _Matt,_ I want you to be the new editor for Strange Times”

Matt does not know if he opens a big smile or if he gets surprised or what else, but David just jumps and yells _“Holy shit!”_ He screams _“Matt!”_

“You’re not serious…” He tells Tom “You’re not! I can’t accept this”

“Why not?” Tom laughs

“Tom, this is like a promotion!”

“Matt! This _is_ a promotion!" Tom laughs "You deserve it, I couldn’t be prouder to name you as an editor!”

“Oh my God, Tom!” Matt jumps on Tom to give him a hug “Thank you! I don’t think I’ll ever thank you enough for this”

“Don’t worry, buddy,” Tom laughs, still hugging Matt “You deserve it” He pulls back from the hug, patting Matt's back proudly “You both deserve it, this is the least I could do after all the years we’ve been working together…” He says and nods “I should really go now” Tom looks over at both of them.

David nods “Yeah, you’re going to be late…” He says and Tom nods as well

“We’ll see each other soon, you guys should come see me…” Tom smiles

“Of course!” Matt nods

“The papers for Strange Times and the coffee shop are on my office, you guys can go there now if you want, they’re right on the top of the table…” Tom takes a deep breath “Bye, guys” He waves at his friends

“Bye Tom” Matt says

“We’ll miss you” David smiles sadly

“I know” Tom sighs and says goodbye before walking to the airport. He tries to not look back again.

***

Mark thinks about many different things on his way over to Los Angeles, his kids, about Elise, Tom, and even -and mostly- Matt. Matt is driving the two of them as he turns on the music to muffle the voices in Mark’s head, he changes stations when he notices the music has become numb to his friend. They arrive in LA and Matt drives straight for the LAX, Mark picks up his phone and searches for Tom’s number. It rings a few times before he picks up

“Mark? What’s up, man?”

“I’m at the LAX, where are you?” Mark cuts to the chase

“You’re at the  _what?!_ ” Tom asks perplexed

“I’m at the LAX! Where are you?” Mark asks him again “Really man, we need to talk this through”

“What are you doing here?! Did you drive all the way from San Diego?”

“Yeah, pretty much, did you think I came flying?”

Tom sighs “Hm, I’m at the Starbucks on the main food court. It’s empty and the lights are dim but Sally is crying and I’m waiting for the meds to kick in so I can ship her off. The flight got delayed”

“I’m there in ten” Mark says and hangs up.

Matt parks the car in the unloading lane, the movement is pretty slow, basically their car is the only one there, so they take their time “Do you want me to stay here, or…”

“You can come if you want” Mark starts but Matt frowns, shaking his head

“I don’t really think it’s a good idea” He says and Mark nods slightly

“I don’t think so too”

“So, I’ll be here, alright?”

“Okay” Mark nods again, he and Matt look into each other's eyes again, Mark smiles and leans in to give Matt a kiss on the cheek _“Thank you”_ He whispers before climbing out of the car, not looking back. Mark starts walking in a fast pace towards the inside of the airport, until he finds the food court.

He walks in and looks for Tom; he finds the lanky man sitting at a set of chairs, alone as there was no one nearby, the entire court empty. Mark quickly picks up Sally’s sobbing and follows it. Tom notices him coming over and gets up as Mark walks closer.

 _“Hey!”_ Tom gets up surprised when he sees Mark, a sad look in his eyes, he did not think this would be happening “What are you doing here?”

Mark takes a good look to Tom’s face, he notices something boiling in his stomach, his hands turning into fists and all the blood he has going to his own face

“Is something wrong?” Tom asks calmly and Mark lets out one single scream, flying over Tom and punching him on the face with his right hand, keeping the octopus to himself “Ouch! _FUCK!_ ” Tom yells as he places both his hands on his own face “WHAT WAS THAT FOR?” Tom shouts as his hands still cup his face. Mark just stares shocked at both Tom and his hand

 _“You are leaving me!”_ Mark yells “You just promised me you would never walk out of my life and you did! You are doing that right now! You lied to me and betrayed me and the kids, and you…” Mark stops and takes a deep breath “You weren’t gonna say anything… That’s the worst part, you know? You waited until the _last fucking minute_!”

“Well, you damn well must be enjoying yourself right now!” Tom answers angered, turning to his backpack and pulling a smaller bag out, he takes some gauze out and places it on his nose that is now bleeding.

“Oh my God, _Tom_ ” Mark breathes out when he notices what he has done, he takes a gauze as well and helps Tom clean the blood, making the man sit again, patting his shoulder carefully, though he does not notice himself doing it “I am so _so_ sorry, are you okay?”

“It’s not broken, don’t worry” Tom answers quickly, making a few awkward faces as he keeps his head back “It’s just bleeding so leave me the fuck alone”

“I…” Mark looks hurt, hurt that Tom is pushing him away like that. He leaves the gauze on Tom’s nose and gets up, standing in front of his friend with a certain distance. “I’m sorry”

“Don’t be” Tom sighs “You can throw a nice punch, I’m proud” Tom puts a hand to his face, also feeling the skin around his eye swell up a little

“Learned from my daughter” Mark shoots in, crossing his arms in front of his chest “This is more pathetic than when you got caught underage drinking while on tour”

“You’re right” Tom smiles amused “This _is_ more pathetic”

Mark gives him a look and he smiles sadly at Tom “Tom, I… Why are you moving?” Mark asks a bit hurt, Tom now raises his head, his nose still red and smeared a little with some blood “Why did you change your mind so quickly? Why are you doing that?”

“I… I was offered a deal to write a novel” Tom smiles sadly again “You know how I’ve always wanted to do one, right?”

Mark nods, looking down to his feet “I know”

“And… And our lives have been so complicated lately and I need a new life, Mark. I noticed that what happened between us is in the past, and it is beautiful when you think about it, but nowadays in reality is just a frustration we might never overcome… I need to think about my life and my goals too” Tom explains, “I need to move on, and you need too...”

Mark nods “Is this going to be the end?”

Tom sighs “I’m afraid so” Mark looks down, trying to process anything “Is… Is there anything you wanna tell me?”

“Just what I told you this afternoon” Mark nods to himself “That I never thought I would lose you like this”

Tom sighs and shakes his head, looking at his own hands before looking at Mark’s eyes again “You are never going to lose me, Mark” 

Something stings inside Mark’s stomach, he knows it would be a mistake to get near him now, even if just for one innocent hug. 

“I hope Matt makes you really happy” Tom smiles sadly, but Mark sees the truth in his eyes and in his tone “Like you deserve to be after everything you have been through”

“Just don’t stop talking to Toni, please. You mean a great deal to her” Mark changes the subject with a swollen voice, he feels himself about to cry

“I won’t” Tom nods, his eyes hurt now more than ever

“The two of us might move on, but she never will” Mark shakes his head, Tom finds something else he and Toni have in common and he notes it in his mind, knowing what Mark assumes of him is not entirely true. The ring of the general sound goes off, calling everyone in for the Tokyo flight “You should go, I don’t want you to be late…” Mark then adds and Tom nods, looking down at his hands, then he walks closer and looks up, their eyes meet and Tom takes a deep breath “Up for a hug?” Tom asks and opens his arms

Mark laughs “Sure” He wraps both arms around the younger man. They hug for quite a while, until Mark pulls back. He blinks and looks at Tom, their faces close to each other. Mark leans in and cups Tom’s cheek on his left hand; he suddenly feels a sting on his stomach.

Mark staggered back, breaking the contact off.

“Bye” Mark breaks out as he goes on walking backwards “Text Toni when you get there!”

“I will” Tom nods “Bye” He gives Mark a little wave. Mark smiles sadly, as he turns away and moves on, trying to remind himself not to look back. Mark thinks about Matt and suddenly the tears start falling into his cheeks and he gathers everything he has in his guts to keep on going. He walks fast paced towards the loading dock again, getting into his car and looking back at Matt, who frowns at his friend’s swollen face and eyes, the tears decorating his cheeks. Matt grows concerned

“Is everything okay?” Matt asks worriedly and Mark quickly nods, cleaning his tears away “Did he do anything to you? What did you tell him?”

“Yeah, everything is okay now” He smiles and leans on, giving Matt a hug, burying his face on the crook of the younger man’s neck.

 _“Alright”_ Matt nods, surprised by Mark's gesture “Let’s get you home on a nice shower and some pizza, okay?” He asks and Mark nods, still holding on to him “Then I will go home okay?”

Mark quickly shakes his head and Matt feels it on his skin “Please stay with me” Mark whispers and Matt’s eyes grow hurt

“Mark, I do not think that it is a good idea” He whispers back, but Mark only shakes his head again “You need time to think this through, I... I do not think we should be together now...”

Mark’s crying starts ceasing, he takes in a long, shaken breath as he raises his head and looks out to the street, sorting his thoughts before turning back to Matt "Why not?" He asks hurt "I really like you, you know?"

Matt sighs in deeply "It's for your own good" He tells his friend, who wipes his tears again "I don't want us to move too fast"

“I see...”

“I can stay tonight with you if you feel like it” Matt places a hand on Mark’s hair, patting it down and caressing it “I will stay as a friend”

Mark sighs and looks at Matt, shaking his head “You should probably go”

Matt breathes in shakingly as he caresses Mark’s cheek “It’s all going to be okay, alright?”

Mark nods as he cleans his last tear away. Matt starts the engine again


	31. May 26th, 2017

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was hoping to post this a while back (on TDOV to be more exact), but tiny things like life, school, work and maybe some lil sickness at the time got in the way - And also I hadn't finished writing it until this morning oops. I am so so so sorry for all the wait and I really hope you enjoy it. And I'm sorry if it doesn't clarify much since what happened the chapter before but this one is really special and I hold it very dear to my heart. Enjoy!
> 
> ALSO THANK YOU FOR 1.000 HITS YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME

“Ouch!” Toni pulls back on her hair “It hurts, Megan! It's not the first time you've done this!”

“I’m sorry!” Megan laughs as she puts another bobby pin on Toni’s head “Beauty has its pain”

“It doesn’t have to, you’re just being horrible to me!” Toni pouts as Megan throws a bit of hairspray on her “You want me to combust and die and never date your brother and then you can take the lead-singer duties, huh?”

“What?” Megan laughs “Replace your God-awful voice? Never”

Toni laughs “Thanks, got that from my mom”

“I noticed it wasn’t from your dad…” Megan chuckles 

“Be thankful Tom is not actually my dad” Toni jokes as well and they both laugh.

"Come on, I'm way better at the drums than I'll ever be at singing, no need to have a competition, alright?"

"I was joking!" Toni protests and they laugh again

Toni’s make-up is ready, and after the hair, the only thing missing will be the dress “Finish that alreadyyyyy!” She whines at her best friend

“Oh my God!” Megan laughs, “I’m almost done, okay?” She shakes her head “So, does you and Frank have a place to go afterwards?” She asks and Toni widens her eyes in surprise, turning to her friend “Come on, let’s talk about real issues other than your voice” Megan shakes her head

“Why would we?” Toni asks “This is the first time we are going out, what we have is still sort of complicated, I don’t think he would want to go anywhere anyway…”

“Toni, Frank can be the reserved sort of guy, but I can assure you, he’s not any saint. It’s been a while since he’s been with anyone, and I mean that in years” Megan laughs “He hasn’t been with anyone since he moved in here with Trav”

“Are you telling me to get a hotel or something?” Toni asks her, making a face

“Well, he won’t book one by his damn self, but I wouldn’t say a hotel, probably just your house if it’s possible, try talking to your dad, I’m sure he’ll be okay with it” Megan explains “Just a place you two can crash and watch movies, make him comfortable afterwards. I mean, the entire night is just gonna take a toll on him and I’m sure you’re not the keenest on the idea of going to prom either, you two need to recharge your batteries somewhere…” Megan laughs at the end

“I see…” Toni sighs

“Anyway, remember he’s on hormones, it’s kind of like he’s on puberty, and his sex drive is going to talk louder than himself” Megan says “Like a teenage horndog” She says and starts laughing.

“He told you about that?!?” Toni turns around outraged and Megan keeps on laughing as she nods.

“Yes he did” Megan smiles “But please don’t be mad at him he told me not to tell you he told me” She says out of breath

“Alright” Toni sighs, complying.

“You want to see how it turned out?” Megan asks her smiling, right after doing the finishing touches, Toni nods excitedly and the red-head turns her friend around on the chair so she can look herself on the mirror, giving her an over-the-top smile.

“God, Megan, it looks _amazing!_ ” Toni smiles as she moves her head to look at her hair from different angles, being tied up into a bun with flowers sticking out of it, Megan grabs a mirror nearby and places it behind Toni, helping her to see it.

“Thanks” Megan smiles and then leans onto the chair, getting closer to Toni, their eyes meeting through the mirror “Just please remember to not do anything stupid, or let him do anything stupid to you, only do shit if you are comfortable with it, okay?” Megan places her head next to Toni's “I’m saying this for the good of you both, your lyrics have been really suggestive lately”

“Hey!” Toni exclaims before Megan starts laughing and pulls away

“Come on, I’ll help you put on your dress…” Megan smiles and helps Toni get up as they went to Megan’s closet.

***

“Do I look good?” Frank asks Travis, who only laughs, placing both hands on his nephew’s shoulders, trying to comfort him

“Frank, you look great, alright?” Travis tells him, looking down proudly

“You really do look great, kid” Mark pipes in from behind Travis “Don’t worry” He says and winks at his kid’s friend. Frank nods and tries to smile.

"So..." Travis starts "Are you going to finish telling me that story or...?"

"Oh yeah" Mark continues "Nah man, I'm just a bit upset, he basically asked me to sort out my thoughts, mostly about Tom, so we could try to get in touch with each other again..."

"So, he broke up with you?" Frank frowns 

"He didn't break up with me!" Mark protests "Matt and I weren't even oficially dating... It was-"

"Just a _thing_?" Travis smirks 

"Exactly" Mark nods sadly. He so wishes things were different, and that it had been more than just a _thing_ , maybe they wouldn't be apart like this if it wasn't

“Hey!” Megan yells from the top of the stairs, interrupting the three men, they all turn around to pay attention at what she had to say “Close your eyes!”

“Why?” Mark frowns

“Because I say so!” Megan says looking back at Toni

“Okay then” Travis shrugs as they all put hands over their eyes; Toni comes out of Megan’s room and goes down the stairs

“Okay” She says after reaching the last step “It’s just really hard to walk on heels so I didn’t want any of you laughing at me when I fell down but I’m glad it didn’t happen” She laughs and fixes her dress

“You can open them now” Megan smiles and they all bring their hands down, Frank chuckles as he brings his own up to his mouth, surprised. 

“Wow” He breathes out in a low voice, smirking. Megan and Toni both laugh slightly, looking at each other, “I’m sorry” He shakes his head quickly, looking up to her. With high heels, her chin went up to his hair and he chuckled a bit shy at that.

“It’s okay” She smiles back as she walks up to Frank “I’m happy that you think like that” She chuckles and kisses his cheek, he immediately turns all red. Then the sound of an iPhone camera click goes on, Toni’s eyes suddenly turn to her dad, like an eagle, enfuriating.

“What?!” Mark asks, defending himself “It’s cute!”

Toni rolls her eyes again, but she smiles, it’s a nice gesture out from him. She then walks up to her dad “You didn’t have to come” She tells him, and he sighs, looking down at her "I know you'd rather be at home right now"

“Your mom would never forgive me, if I didn’t,” He tells her and she shakes her head

“Thank you” She tells him and he gives her a hug

“You are beautiful, kid,” Mark tells her “You look just like your mother, and please don’t be upset about that” He says and Toni can see the hurt in his eyes, she can see how much he misses her.

“Thank you, dad” She sighs “It means a lot” She tells him honestly and Mark nods “Where is Paul?” She asks as she pulls away

“I dropped him at Hannah’s house; they’re taking a limo with some friends,”

“Oh cool” Toni nods, she turns and sees Megan and Frank talking.

“We better go” Frank turns to her and Toni nods. They both walk outside after taking pictures and get into his car.

***

Frank and Toni both sit in his car silently

He coughs and she fixes her dress, looking at him patiently as he just stares dead at the wheel in front of him, the flower in her hand sort of itching her.

“Frank?” She calls him, a sad tone to her voice “Is everything okay?”

He does not answer, gripping hardly on the steering wheel.

“We haven’t even left the driveway yet” Toni points out and Frank grips even more. He brings them down, takes a deep breath and bring them up again “Are you okay? Is it the high heels?”

"No I... Wait, what?"

"I can take them off you if yo-" Toni reaches down to her feet, but Frank grabs her wrist, stopping her

"It's not the high heels!" He laughs "I think they're neat, and you'll take them off whenever you want to, okay?"

"Okay" Toni nods back 

“I… I actually have something for you,” Frank tells her and Toni frowns “I was figuring the way to tell you this without saying sorry” He breathes out relieved and she chuckles

“Being straightforward is probably the best way” Toni then smiles sweetly at him “You know you didn’t have to get me anything...” She shakes her head, reaching out to take his hand, she brings it up to her lips and kisses its back

Frank takes a deep breath, admiring her before he shyly reaches for something under his seat and pulls out a little white box “I know that would scare any girl but please don’t be scared” He tells her quickly

Toni takes the box and opens it and her eyes frowns at the ring inside

“You’re giving me a ring?”

“I know it’s a horrible idea but I’m not goo…”

“It’s perfect, Frank” She laughs, interrupting him “This is the first time we go out; I know this is no big deal…” Toni shrugs, looking at the golden ring with a red rose on top of it

“Oh, and it’s fake by the way, got it at Forever 21” Frank laughs awkwardly

“I would kill you if it was real…” She tells him, shaking her head with an amused smile to her lips. Toni takes it out of the box and places it on her hand, looking at it with the nails Megan had done for her in black polish just a few hours ago “It’s beautiful, Frank” She tells him “I love it. Thank you!”

Frank smiles, she leans in and places a finger on his chin, bringing him in for a kiss on his lips. Frank sighs and Toni laughs, it had been a while since they had been intimate like this, and never the proper way, something tingles inside her stomach. It’s happiness for finally being able to do this.

Toni pulls back and looks at him, his eyes closed tightly “Frank” She calls him, chuckling “Are you okay?”

“Yes” He quickly nods, opening his eyes right after “I… We should go now,” Toni pulls back and Frank takes a deep breath, nodding nervously

“I’m gonna type the address on Waze, alright?” She asks and he starts the car, driving away. It doesn’t take long for them to arrive there, Frank stopped the car in the line to get into the parking lot across the street where kids were hopping off rented BMWs and limos.

“That’s so freaky” Frank pushes out a smile “I mean, I had only seen this in movies, you know? I didn't really think it was real”

Toni sighs “Do you really want to go?” She asks worriedly

“Well, it is your prom, you don’t want to miss that, do you?”

Toni shrugs “I honestly don’t mind. We can always go somewhere else...”

“Like?”

“I don’t know” Toni laughs, reaching out a hand to take lint off his shoulder

“Let’s go in” Frank says, taking effort out of himself “You don’t want to miss this” He says and Toni frowns, but she lets him drive into the parking lot and stop the car at a spot.

They walk side by side towards the school building, Frank puts both hands in his pockets and Toni comes by closer, wrapping her arm around his.

“This is your night too, you know?” She tells him “I’m sorry you never had prom” She says looking down, Frank smiles at her.

“Thanks” He smiles at her, squeezing a hand on her arm reassuringly.

The gym is lit up in bright colors and Toni smiles as soon as she walks in, seeing the kids dance to some techno music that is always playing in the radio. The party is still begging and there is food just being served, then she turns around and sees the big white wall gap where the audio room was, as if it just has been built. A big cloud of burnt decorating the immediate surroundings.

“Looks pretty ugly” Frank says from behind her “Was that why prom was postponed?”

“Yeah” Toni grits her teeth at how bad it looks, even if they had already worked on it “Come on, let’s get something to eat” She says and Frank nods eagerly, leading them towards the table.

“What is this?” Frank frowns as he sees something gooey with shrimps in it. He takes out a piece with his clean plastic spoon and puts it in his mouth, making a face

“What?” Toni asks

“This tastes awful!” He says and spits it into his plate, throwing it into the trash nearby

“Is it that bad?” Toni wonders

“I don’t feel like eating right now, can we get some punch?”

“Sure” Toni places down her plate, going over to the bowl and grabbing two cups. She holds them out for Frank as he poured it

“I hope this is spiked” He whispers to her and she laughs, he takes his cup when he’s done and they go walking around the party “Do you want to dance?” He asks, pointing to the dance floor

“Nah, it’s playing lame music right now” Toni says, noticing the party isn’t even aggitated as much as it was when they first got there.

“Well, _look, look, look_ ” Toni and Frank hear a voice walking closer to them. Frank closes his eyes, but Toni turns around, already tongue in cheek “Isn’t it my favorite girls?”

"Wha-" Toni starts, but Frank just pulls on her hand. She quickly turns to him, looking slightly down, he has hurt eyes, she knows that always hurts him, especially when its said on purpose, and he doesn't get to hear it often, but it still breaks him. Frank shakes his head, pleading not to make a big scene out of this. Toni tries to get herself together “Dylan, just walk away, please” Toni rolls her eyes, she then continues to walk, pulling Frank behind her like he's a puppy, she runs her thumb on his hand trying to comfort him.

“We already graduated, I shouldn’t be scared of being heldback because of you” Dylan replies

“And I shouldn’t think twice before punching you again”

“This is prom”

“Doesn’t change the fact that you’re a jerk and should just leave us alone!” Toni hisses before turning back and grabbing Frank’s arm, walking away, her thumb making circles on his skin as she notices he is sweating cold.

“Don’t do anything stupid...” Frank whispers to her, his eyes hurt “Please”

They still feel Dylan following them, he everytually catches up “I’m going to tell out, you know? That's against the rules”

Toni looks at him “Dylan, get off! Nobody is even bothering us, nobody fucking cares”

“That’s because no one else cares about your whorey lil’ ass, you kno-” Dylan starts, but again, this time, Frank flies his wrist on Dylan’s jaw, the boy doesn’t fall on the floor this time, but he doesn’t react right away. Frank looks at him shocked.

Toni quickly grabs Frank’s arm, he looks over to her, his mouth still open, but a smile plays her lips “Run!” She shouts before pulling him out, Frank starts running after her when she takes his hand, she juggles halfway through to pull out her heels, interwining her fingers with his. He smiles with the adrenalin. They rush outside and quickly climb back on Frank’s car, driving off out of the parking lot as Dylan emerges again, still running after them and now with a whole gang behind him. _"Holy shit!"_ Toni yells out as Frank runs out the fastest that he can and going down the street. “What was that?!?” Toni laughs, holding on to her seat

“I… I have no idea!” Frank chuckles back

“How are you feeling? Are you okay?” She asks placing a hand on his arm, Frank nods

“Yeah, I… It’s just too much adrenalin right now”

“Thanks for standing up for me” She tells him quietly and he looks back at her, giving her a sweet smile

“Do you want to eat something?” He asks and Toni eagerly nods “And please no shrimp”

Toni laughs “Okay” She says as she grabs her phone, typing something on Waze.

***

“Thank you! Have a nice night!” The perky girl at Sombreros says goodbye to Toni before she picks up her to go bags and rushes back to Franks car in the parking lot, from where he did not ever wanted to come out again. She closes the dor behind herself and hands Frank one of the bags

“Thanks” He smiles only slightly, he is feeling the heavy weight and the guilt of punching someone by now. He breathes deeply to himself while Toni opens her burrito, taking a bite out of it.

“You know” Toni starts, her mouth full as she tried to get his attention “I come here since I was a kid, my parents loved this place. Dad and Tom found it out when they were teens... They used to skate all the way here”

“Really?” Frank asks interested and Toni nods

“Yeah” She smiles

“How are you dealing with him being gone?” Frank wonders, taking a bite from his burrito too, Toni frowns at him, looking down at her food

“So far so good, you know” She shrugs “All I can do is wish he was here and hope he is happy with whatever he's doing”

“Have you heard from him yet?”

“He spent a couple of days in Tokyo before going to Sydney, he is staying at a hotel while looking for a place, it is all still pretty blurry” Toni explains, nodding her head

“I see” Frank breathes out “So… Do you want to set up Waze to go back home after we are done here?”

“You want to go back home?” Toni asks a bit disappointed

“I just…” Frank sighs “I just feel like lying down and forgetting what happened” Frank looks over at her, he can hear her heart shattering with just her expression, he immediately regrets saying it “Do you want to go somewhere else?” He wonders quickly

“I… I just did not expect to be going home this soon” Toni shakes her head “Come on, we can do some crazy shit still...”

“Like what?” Frank laughs

“Oh!” Toni starts, suddenly sparkled again, licking the sauce off her fingers and grabbing her phone, typing an address in

“We are going to Encinitas?” Frank frowns and she nods

“Just drive” She tells him and he nods before wrapping up his burrito again and going away to the direction the phone was telling him to. Eventually they arrive in front of the familiar house Frank recognizes as Tom's, he pulls into the driveway and looks over at Toni confused “What are we doing here?”

“Well, no one is here” Toni shrugs “I figured we could go in and do shit”

Frank sweats nervously “Do you even have the key?”

“No, but I know where it is hidden” She nods with a smile, but Frank does not look at her, he just grips on the steering wheel with a confused look on his face “We can go inside play video games and listen to the music we want and eat our delicious burritos with no one judging us and…” Toni sighs, looking down at her hands “And we can just drink and be alone together, you know?” She laughs, growing nervous herself as well.

“Are you sure about this?”

Toni nods “I am 100% into this”

“Okay” Frank sighs “Toni, we…” He then starts quickly “We need to talk about something”

“What is it?” She frowns

“It’s just… I never had sex”

“Hm, okay” Toni nods “Go on…”

“Go on what?”

“Is that what you were going to say?”

“Yeah!” Frank says “I think you should know that”

Toni laughs “You are so adorable!” She smiles and Frank hits her in the arm, chuckling as well “Come on, I am not expecting anything from you, you should know that” She says then more calmly, brushing a string of hair away from his forehead

“I know, but I just… I was hoping you could be a little patient with me, I mean, I do not know where we are going with this but there is just a lot of my body and of who I am I still have to figure out but I know I like you, and I don’t want to lose you over something dumb like this…”

“Frank” Toni calls him quietly, placing a hand on his thigh, he looks at her, her touch calming him down a little “It's not dumb and you are not gonna lose me because of that, okay?” She gives him a smile “It’s okay, we’re gonna figure things out as time unfolds, we don’t need to rush into anything…”

"And I'm bi!" Frank blurs out "I like dudes too. Well, I consider myself pansexual actually..."

"Okay" Toni smiles and nods 

Frank nods, letting out a relieved breath “Okay” He repeats after her

“I mean, you know I’m not a virgin, but I understand this is an entirely new thing for the both of us, okay?”

Frank nods again, pulling her into a hug. She smiles against his neck, pulling him even closer “You’re great, did you know that?” He asks

“You’re the great one here…” She tells him as she gives him a kiss on the cheek before walking out “Come on, let’s get inside and eat these burritos in our really nice fancy clothes”

Frank smiles and quickly opens the door as well “Prom is the best!” He shouts happily as he runs out of the car, Toni laughs and shakes her head amused by the scene. She is still barefoot, going up the porch and searching for the pet rock Tom always left the key in, which does not take her long.

Toni opens out the bottom and pulls out the key, walking to the door and opening without much trouble _“Voila_ ” She smiles as she holds the door open for Frank. He walks in and looks around as she closes the door, gasping at how beautiful the design of the interior was “Pretty sweet, huh?” She asks and he nods

“Hell yeah” He nods, the house was not huge, but it was done perfectly on every detail, it was homey and fancy, and Tom had not taken out any furniture or acessories, not even the action figures, it was all still the same. “I wish to have a place like this one day...”

“Your house is not even much different, I mean, it is just as fancy, you know?”

“Yeah, but in here we could live together” He adds quietly, his back facing Toni as her eyes go wide

“What?” She laughs, walking closer

“I mean, it is not for now, but maybe in a few years, you know?” Frank explains, now looking at her "When we actually have our big band" He smiles and then turns around, going in further inside the house. 

Toni smiles, as much as it would freak her out to see someone talking like that to her, she knows it is exactly what she wants, deep down. Frank and her were gradually falling for each other, getting to know one another, but at the same time, she is falling so fast she just feels the bubbling on her stomach waiting to know when she is gonna fall flat in her face. Even if she does not see or feel a bottom. It is fucking scary.

She is falling fast for him and she has been for a long time.

Toni follows him in, walking in Tom's room which had the door open. The closet was open and empty, the bed still had linens and a quilt set up though, even if under a transparent plastic to keep it from creating dust. The roof was still there, as shiny as ever, the room with the enveloping aura it always had.

“You like it?” Toni asks with a smile when she sees Frank standing in the middle of the room, staring at it mouth open. He turns to her and his eyes turn to glass, they glint and sparkle, she feels something on her stomach as he looks at her with such passion. This room must have scored Tom a lot of dicks, big time.

“It's” Frank laughs “I swear to God, I was not expecting this...” He looks up again “I think this is the most beautiful thing I have seen in my entire life, and that is because I lived in New England for the first half of my years”  

“Well, I am glad you like it” Toni smiles and Frank turns to her, again giving her the same look. She feels anxious and trapped, and yet, it is the best feeling in the world when he leans in, touching their lips together and he places a hand on her waist.

Toni parts her lips only slightly, letting Frank's tongue come in for the first time, this is better than anything she has ever imagined it would be, it is even better than all the times they did this out of rush or out of spite. It is the most beautiful thing she has ever experienced.

Frank interlocks their fingers together again, just like Toni did when they ran away from the school. Her chest rises and falls in a deep breath and Frank pulls away, looking at her “Is… Is this okay?”

“Anything that is okay for you is okay for me too”

“No, this is not ho…”

“Frank” Toni cuts him off “I do not fucking care, alright? I am all yours because I want to be, okay?”

It is Franks turn to take that one deep breath that breaks Toni's heart, he nods and she leans her forehead against his

“Undo my zipper” She tells him

“What?” Frank asks quietly, not believing what he is hearing

“Just do it, don't think too much” Toni shakes her head and Frank kisses her again, slow and careful as his hands explore her back, trying to find the zipper he slowly brings down. Toni places her hands on her chest so the dress wouldn't fall into the ground.

Toni pulls back when he is done, moving to the bed and pulling out the plastic cover and throwing it to the floor, showing the green linens underneath. She also pulls the quilt and climbs on the bed, making room for Frank to come in.

He shyly climbs in as well, as she removes her dress and he closes his eyes.

“Come on” Toni chuckles “If you do not want me to be like this, just tell me, alright?”

“I know, and... I want to, but” Frank whispers in a deep breath “I am just nervous”

“It's alright” Toni scoots closer, wrapping her arms around his neck “You do not need to open your eyes, okay?” She asks and he nods. Toni goes back to kiss him, both their heads leaning on the pillows.

It takes a couple of minutes until he searches her back for the strap of her bra. Toni just smiles into the kiss.

***

Toni lies in bed with one of the stocked Strange Times shirts Tom had hidden in the higher shelves of his closet. She put on some black high ankle socks Tom had lying around. Frank is by her side, his shirt and pants the same way they were the entire night, he hums contently and she laughs before placing a kiss on his cheek. Frank smiles at her and then looks to his side, where a picture of Tom, Elise and Toni sat in a frame, along with another one in which Tom and Mark were young and playing their instruments on stage while smiling to each other. 

Frank leans on his elbow and picks up the picture where Toni was in the arms of her mother, she looks over his shoulder and looks at it as well. 

"This is your mom?" He whispers to her and Toni nods back in answer "She's beautiful"

"She is" Toni smiles, she talks like she's still alive, like she's still with her.

And in part, that's true. At least that's what she thinks to be.

"You look a lot like her" Frank smiles, still looking at the picture "The eyes, the smile... You know?"

"Yeah..." Toni sighs 

"People used to say I looked like my dad"

Toni stops, she looks at Frank, he has never deliberately talked about his parents out of the context of him running away from home. 

"Do you think that?"

"I got his eyes, his nose, the natural blonde hair" Frank starts and then looks up from Elise, his eyes now going to the little Elise. He smiles sadly at her "Now I dye my hair and my eyes have seen so much more since then. He probably wouldn't even recognize me if he saw me somewhere just walking by"

"Does that upset you?" Toni wonders

"I don't know" Frank shrugs "I guess it does because I wish he'd be the one to let me be who I am" He whispers "I wish it hadn't have to be so hard"

Toni sighs again and brushes some hair out from his face, smiling sadly at him "I know"

“Are you hungry?” He asks now putting the frame back on its place. Toni nods eagerly and they both get up, she did not even care that she had no pants on since her shirt would go down to her thighs.

Frank brings the food over to the table in the living room and they sit down, turning on the TV and eating. Eventually, when they finish, Toni gets up and walks towards Tom’s record collection, going through them and pulling something out

“What are you doing?” Frank asks, his mouth full

“Just setting some mood” Toni chuckles before a light song starts playing, she pulls him up and starts waltzing her friend around the living room, leading the dance

Frank looks up at her, laughing, his eyes staring adoringly.

“I actually have something to tell you” He whispers to her and she smiles

“Well, what is it?” Toni asks, wrapping both arms around his neck, his hands resting on her waist. “Is it good?”

“It’s amazing actually” He nods and smiles “My insurance approved my top surgery” Frank tells her and he starts smiling more and more as each word passed with his sentence. Toni’s jaw drops and she gives him a huge smile

“No way!” She shrieks excitedly “That’s great, Frank!” She smiles and jumps on him, giving him a big hug and he laughs

“Thanks!” He tells her honestly “I am so happy this is finally happening!” He smiles before Toni pulls back and places both hands on his shoulders

“When are you gonna do it?” She asks worriedly

“Well, they approved it this tuesday so I went to the doctor yesterday and he told me I could do it in the next few weeks”

"Really? And why did you wait all this time to tell me this?" She smiles "That's great news!"

"I don't know" Frank shrugs with a smile on his face "I was waiting for the right time I guess... I... I really want you there with me"

"Really?" Toni's eyes widen 

"Yeah, I guess I'll need a friendly shoulder and someone to have happy thoughts with... You know Megan will act all mom-like"

"Of course" I roll my eyes playfully and Frank laughs "I'll always be there for you, okay?"

Frank smiles "Okay" He says before she leans in to give him a kiss

 


	32. June 16th, 2017

It is a rainy day, even if it is almost summer. The drive is quiet for Mark, he watches as the beach goes by his window, trying to not get too caught up on his anxiety. He eventually arrives where he pretends to go and parks the car on the road by the beach, jumping out and crossing the street quickly to not get wet and going into the comic shop.

He breathes in relieved as soon as he is inside, he has been here a couple of times only since Matt first showed him the place months before. “Yo” The girl in the purple hair by the front desk nods at him, Mark waves casually, giving her a ‘hi’ back as he walked up to a shelf.

Mark quickly analyzes whatever he is looking at and pulls something out, by Neil Gaiman. He browses through it quickly before he hears someone walking behind him. Mark tries to ignore the footsteps by turning the pages.

“Mark?” He hears someone call from behind him and he quickly turns around, seeing Matt right there. The man looked small, shaggy and he had let a stub grow. His bleach-blonde hair flat on his pretty forehead, a dark hoodie embracing him, the hood up, probably because of the rain outside “What are you doing here?” He asks amused to see Mark. 

“I…” Mark looks back at the shelves, thinking what to say “I needed something to read, so… This place was the first option” He answers, giving the younger man a shy smile 

“I’m glad to hear” Matt smirks and leans in, placing his hand on the shelf, he looks at where he is aiming for, but Mark can just stare at him mesmerized as Matt leaned closer. He then pulled out a book and handed it to Mark “Try this one”

“Have you read it?” Mark asks, but Matt shakes his head

“Nah, it just looks cool, and I look very mysterious and sexy everytime I do that” He says and Mark smirks, shaking his head 

“You sure do” He smiles sadly and looks down at the cover, his finger tracing the pattern of the drawing. He wants to say Matt always does but that would just be a step too far

“I better go now” Matt says and Mark looks up, gulping before nodding 

“Okay” He adds quietly and Matt gives him a small wave before turning away, towards the door. Mark feels something bubbling in him and he takes a deep breath as soon as Matt’s hand touches the handle “Hey, Matt!” Mark jumps foward, trying to get the man’s attention. He lets his breath out. 

“Yeah?” Matt looks back, closing the door again and walking up to Mark 

“I was wondering, if you would like to… You know?” He says and shrugs, but Matt just looks at him without any reaction, his eyes glint though “Go out?”

“When?” Matt smiles 

“Tonight? Maybe…” 

Matt smiles even more “Is it going to be a date?”

Mark nods “Not a business one”

Matt just keeps on smiling, it is one of the prettiest Mark has ever seen, he just loses to Elise’s. He shakes his head and leans in, giving Mark a kiss on the cheek, while he just stands there paralyzed.

“Pick me up at eight” Matt whispers to him and turns around again, putting a hand on the pocket of his hoodie and the other he uses to open the door.

Mark just stands there with the stupidest smile on his face, his cheek burning hot.

***

“Toni!” Mark yells inside the house, more towards upstairs “Come on! Let’s go!”

“I’m coming!” Toni shouts back to her dad as she races down the steps, Mark walks outside and opens the door to his car, waiting for Toni to come out 

“Turn off the lights!” He yells as she appears by the doorway, she puts a hand on the flicker, turning off the energy of the living room and closing the door behind herself, walking to the car. Toni climbs in on the passenger seat and puts on her seatbelt as Mark drives off “Do you know where your brother is?” Mark wonders

“He is on a date with Hannah” 

“He told me he wasn’t coming home tonight” Mark laughs “I figured it could be something like that. He was so bold about it, I find it funny”

“Would you let me do the same?” Toni questions raising an eyebrow as Mark turns into a corner. Mark laughs and nods 

“I am not that dad, okay?” He says and ruffles her hair, Toni smiles and shakes her head before turning to the window, watching the houses go by outside. “Are you okay?” Mark asks as he sees Toni looking out the window “I mean, are you upset that you’ll have to stay over at Matt’s to be with Annie?”

“Actually, not at all” Toni answers without looking back “I always get to play Matt’s sick gear”

“Good” Mark nods, his hands sweating as he gripped the steering wheel nervously “Do you know if Joe is coming over for summer?”

Toni turns to him this time, frowning at her dad “He didn’t say anything. I mean, he really hasn’t said anything in a long while” She sighs, turning back again to the window “Why?”

“Just wondering” Mark looks down as he stops at a red sign, he would be lying if he said he didn’t miss his son, especially now that Paul and Toni were moving on with their lives as well “Are you going to go on tour?”

“Yeah, next month!” Toni exclaims excited, facing foward now “I am really looking foward to it”

“Me too” Mark smiles and nods as he pulls in front of Matt’s house, it is always a quick drive and he could walk if he wanted to. Toni knocks on the door as Mark walks up to her, Annie opens the door with a huge smile on her face 

“Toni!” The little girl shrieks before raising both her arms and Toni laughs as she picks her up 

“Hey there, princess, are you ready to have fun?” 

“Yes!!!!” Annie shouts as Matt comes up to them, he says goodbye to his daughter and leaves a kiss on her head, Toni walks inside with her still in his arms. Matt walks out and closes the door behind himself before facing Mark. 

“Hey” Matt smiles, Mark can’t help but smile back 

“Hey” He says, Matt stares at him and his insides grumble “You ready?”

“Sure” Matt answers casually when putting both hands on the pockets of his jacket, following Mark towards his car “Where are we going?” He wonders as he opens the door to the passenger side 

“You’ll see” Mark smirks before climbing in as well. 

***

“I can’t believe you dragged me to a carnival” Matt laughs as he and Mark walk out from the haunted house. 

“I can’t believe you actually didn’t think this was coming up” Mark laughs back. 

"I would guess you would take Annie here, not me..." 

Mark then thinks "God, I should've brought Annie too! I'm so stupid!"

"Mark" Matt laughs it's okay "If she was here I wouldn't be able to do this" 

Matt then leans in and gives Mark a kiss on the lips, though it's very subtle and quickly, but enough to make Mark blush like crazy and make the butterflies fly on his tummy. 

"That's a good point" Mark smiles when Matt pulls back, the two smiling at each other. 

“I want some cotton candy!” Matt whines dramtically like a kid as he suddenly grabs Mark’s hand, breaking the ice after the kiss. He starts pulling him towards the cotton candy kart. Matt and Mark bicker about who is paying it, but Matt gives in at the end, letting Mark buy him the pink candy “Thanks” Matt blushes as they walk away again 

“You’re welcome” Mark laughs “Did you really like this idea?”

“Of course” Matt laughs back, putting some more cotton candy on his mouth “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because it’s kind of cheesy and childish I guess” Mark shrugs and puts both hands on his jeans’s pockets

“Just a little” Matt chuckles and Mark smiles before shaking his head “Do you want to go on the ferris wheel?”

“Sure” Mark shrugs again as they go in the line, getting inside a cabin in not much time. Matt continues to eat his candy, offering Mark some. “No, thanks, I’m fine” Mark says as he rejects it 

“Oh, come on!” Matt whines, shoving it on his closed lips “Just one piece”

Mark chuckles and Matt pushes it on his teeth now. He eventually gives in and bites on the candy, taking away from Matt’s fingertips 

“There you go, that wasn’t so bad”

“Great, now I need more” Mark smiles and takes some more from Matt’s hand, who also chuckles as well “Can…” Mark starts with his mouth full, looking to his side and down to where the people looked like ants now “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure” Matt shrugs 

“Are you liking it here?” Mark asks shyly and looks up at Matt, who is starting to smile for him 

“Yes, I am” Matt nods 

“I mean, I know we didn’t move on about a month back because of all the things I was feeling and what I was going through, but I really missed you, Matt” Mark tells him “I missed you and… And I’m so glad we got to be here… That you’re here with me right now”

Matt smiles “I missed you too, Mark”

“Do… Do you think we can start hanging out again? I worked out some of my issues, I guess. I really want to try this”

“I really want to try this too, Mark”

“Really?”

Matt smiles again, looking into Mark’s eyes, which are sparkling in happiness. “I do”

“I…” Mark starts again “I have something for you” He says and Matt frowns. 

“What is it?”

Mark reaches into the pocket of his jeans and pulls out a card. Handing it to Matt, who takes it on his hands to see what it is.

“It’s… It’s a queen of hearts” Matt whispers and looks up at Mark, who nods “From that day in my office”

“Yeah” Mark chuckles 

“Mark, that was months ago!” Matt smiles “You kept it all this time?”

“I sure did” He smiles back and Matt looks into his eyes, he lunges foward and grabs Mark by his neck with his free hand, pulling him into a kiss. The wheel suddenly stops and Mark pulls back, looking at Matt staggered. 

“That” Matt starts again, his eyes flickering between Mark’s “That is the most romantic thing someone has done for me in years”

Mark shyly smiles “So, you don’t think it’s creepy?” 

Matt laughs and shakes his head “Not at all”

“Good” Mark breathes out relieved 

“We are going to try this, okay?”

“Okay” Mark smiles again, eager about the proposal. Matt smiles and kisses him again when the wheel starts moving one more time. 

***

Mark fishes out the keys to his house and plucks it on the lock, trying to get it open, though it jams a little. Matt places a hand on his shoulder and Mark looks back, frowning at him “What?” Mark asks quietly, Matt is really close to him and he feels his breath getting caught on his throat as he stares into his eyes. Matt leans in and kisses Mark, nibbling on his bottom lip patiently before going back, which calms Mark down 

“Try opening it now” Matt suggests 

“Okay” Mark nods and tries again, this time going on the first try. They both laugh and walk inside. Matt closes the door and locks it once they are in, Mark pushes him towards the nearest wall, making the younger man’s back collide as he presses their mouths together again. 

Matt moves to Mark’s neck, leaving a trail of kisses as his hands gripped on the hem of his shirt, before going up and exploring his chest. Mark frowns when he sees the lights are on, he fucking told Toni to turn them off. His thoughts clear out when he feels Matt’s thumb running and teasing his nipple, right where he had a piercing when he was in college. Mark moans and pulls Matt closer, kissing his lips again as his hands were still on Mark’s chest. 

Both of Mark’s hands go to Matt’s pants, unbuckling his belt “Wow, someone is eager tonight, huh?” Matt laughs, leaning his forehead on Mark’s 

“Oh yeah” Mark laughs back as he kisses Matt aga-

“HOLY SHIT!” They hear someone yell and something falling to the ground. Mark quickly pulls back, stepping away and wipes his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt, Matt just stands paralized against the wall, his belt undone and he swallows dryly. 

Mark looks over to the directiong the scream had just come from, seeing a tall chunky dude standing in the kitchen doorway, a plate with three or four slices of pizzas on the floor. Joe’s eyes were glassy as he stared at it, avoiding to look at his dad. 

“Joe!” Mark starts, slowly walking closer to his son “What are you doing here, I… You didn-”

“What are you doing?” Joe asks calmly, now looking at his dad. Mark stops halfway through, stunned. 

“I jus-”

Joe shakes his head, he gives one look at Matt and fleets off towards the kicthen again, leaving the house through the backdoor. Mark takes a deep breath and turns around, looking at his date “I… I need to go”

“Who was that?” Matt asks, buckling his belt 

“Hm” Mark looks back to where Joe was before, turning back to Matt “My son”

“Just go” Matt tells him urgently and Mark nods before going out the backdoor, he looks down the street and sees Joe running towards the end of it. Mark knows he will never reach, so he jumps on his car.


	33. June 17th-19th, 2017

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to wait to post this tomorrow since Mon Giuseppe was updated yesterday but rendering takes a lot of time and I have to wait and I'm just bored

Joe paces fast down the street, his hands tight on his jeans pants pockets. A car pulls up by him and he recognizes it as his dad’s ‘03 Silver Corolla. He just puffs out revolted and keeps on walking as Mark rolls down the window.

“Joe?” Mark calls for him “Joe, please talk to me!” He begs, but Joe continues to ignore him “We really need to talk”

“Oh really?” Joe answers sarcastically “When were you planning on telling me that you’re gay?”

“Hey!” Mark yells, still driving the car and keeping up with him “You haven’t called in over a month, mister! You don’t get to play the victim, alright?”

Joe stops and looks at Mark “It is not fair that you are blaming this on me whe-”

“Blaming this on you?” Mark cuts him outraged “I work my ass off here all the time to make sure you and your brother get to go to college, I haven’t been with anyone in years! I did humiliating things to put food in everyone’s plates after your mom passed away and you just simply took off!” He yells at his son, his face growing red and Joe looks down, ashamed “You pretend as if you’re this amazing dude who has everything set for him and you know what? I am so happy you do because it was everything I wanted! But you don’t get to play games with me!”

“I didn’t expect you to come home smashing a dude against the wall!” Joe shouts back, pointing towards the direction he had come from 

Mark shakes his head “You know nothing about who we are here” He whispers to him “It has been three years since you moved, kid”

“I think we should talk” Joe says and Mark looks at him “You know, man to man, not like- You know?”

“Like, man to not-man?” Mark asks pissed

“Come on, dad. That’s not what I meant”

Mark sighs tiredly “Let’s get a drink, come in” He huffs out and unlocks the door, Joe climbs on the passenger seat.

***

“What do you guys want?” the waitress asks when Joe sits at the table, Mark looks at her and she pulls a pencil from behind her ear, scribbling something down on her notepad. 

“I want a coke” Matt answers quickly “I’m not drinking tonight, I don’t think I should”

“Awesome” The girl says in monotone, completely ignoring Matt’s comment. She looks at Mark, waiting for him to say something 

“Stella”

“I want one too” Joe raises his finger, the girl gives him a look 

“ID please?”

“I…” Joe starts, he puts his hands in his pockets, fishing only his driver’s liscence out, noting he didn’t bring his fake ID, he didn’t think he would need drinks that night so he left it in a trash bin back in San Francisco “I turn 21 tomorrow” He voices out and the girl looks at her watch

“I can bring you your beer in half an hour” She says as she hands his liscence back. Joe smirks 

“Oh, yeah! Your birthday is tomorrow” Mark opens up a smile at his son “Congrats, kid!”

“You forgot the happiest day of your life?” Joe asks offended

“You forgot father’s day two years in a row” Mark countersback and Joe makes a face

“I’m sorry” He gives out a smile and Mark laughs. 

“Hey, hm” Matt starts “Do you guys mind if I go outside make a call? It won’t take long. I need to check up on Annie…”

“Sure” Mark smiles and nods, Joe doesn’t say anything, but Matt gives him a friendly smile as he gets up and walks outside the bar with his phone in his hand. Mark and Joe look at each other awkwardly. 

“So…” Joe starts, tapping his fingers on the table “How long have you two been boyfriends?” He wonders, looking down at his hands and avoiding his dad’s look 

“This is only our second date” Mark blurs out 

“So, it’s not serious?”

“Why do you want this to not be so bad?” Mark frowns, shaking his head at his son “Do you have a problem with me liking dudes?”

“I don’t know, it’s just… It’s not something you would expect, you know?”

“No one in that house raised you to be a homophobe, kid” Mark shakes his head 

“I’m not- I’m not saying that. It just comes off as a shock, that’s all” Joe explains “Do…” He then starts with his voice a lot lower “Do you like him?” 

Mark nods as soon as Joe lifts up his head “He’s a cool guy, you know?” He smiles “You would like him if you gave him a chance”

Joe swallows dryly “What does he do?”

“He’s a producer for all kinds of stuff” Mark nods “He worked for Finest Comedy on their last album”

“Really?” Joe raises his eyebrows interested “Wow!”

“Yeah” Mark smiles and nods “He has a little girl, he’s divorced and he paints. He has a exhibit at the Roosvelt right now”

“Sounds nice”

“It is” Mark answers before they fall into silence again 

“Is he your first?” Joe wonders, looking into Mark’s eyes this time. Mark shakes his head 

“Do you really want to go on that?” 

“Did you cheat on mom?” Joe asks and Mark chuckles before shaking his head

“I could never cheat on her, kid” He says and falls silent again before speaking “Tom was my first”

Joe frowns, choking on his appetizer “Tom?” He asks and Mark purses his lips before nodding “Our Tom?”

“Yea, the one and only” Mark nods 

“When?” Joe asks confused 

“Before I met your mom” Mark explains “And for like a week within the last six months” He says and scratches the back of his head 

“Does he know about Matt?” Joe asks pointing outside 

“Yeah, they… They both know about each other”

“That…” Joe takes in a deep breath “That explains a lot actually”

“I guess it does” Mark nods “So… What is up with you?”

“I thought I should come home for the summer, you know?” Joe shrugs “I mean, my… I met a girl back there in San Francisco and… And she’s taking a course in London for the summer, and I really wanted to go see her, but I don’t have the money for a ticket, you know?”

“You have a girfriend?” Mark’s eyes widen and Joe smies before nodding “For how long?”

“About seven months” Joe smiles again “I really like her, dad” 

Mark smirks “I’m really glad you like her, son. When will I get to meet her?”

“Probably when she comes back for next semester, I can bring her here if you want…”

“Yes! Of course! Toni will like to meet her too”

“How is she?”

“Going on tour next month” Mark nods “She has a band now, she’s really excited about it”

“Are they seeing anyone?”

“Yeah, they both are, though I don’t think Paul’s is as serious as Toni’s”

Joe nods, the waitress comes back, placing an uncapped Stella in front of him

“Happy birthday” She says with an unenthusiastic smile on her face.

***

A few days later, Matt wakes up with something poking his face

“Ouch!” He flinches in annoyance to his wake when a finger goes into his eye

“Sorry daddy” Annie giggles and climbs onto bed, curling herself next to him. He laughs and smiles before bringing her under the covers

“It’s okay, honey” He says and gives her a kiss in the head. Annie is still wearing her nightgown and her fluffy pink bear slippers; she shifts to look at her dad

“Uncle Mark is downstairs,” Annie tells him

“What?” Matt laughs confused and tired

“Yeah, he’s in the living room” She says and curls into her dad to sleep again “I don’t want Steve to leave, dad” Annie whines and Matt kisses her head again

“It’ll be better for him honey”

“Mark said that the lady from the farm might be coming to pick him up in the afternoon…” She says and Matt nods

“You’re still going to see him, alright?” Matt tries to comfort her “You want to stay here and sleep while I go downstairs?” Matt asks and she nods “Alright” He says and gets up, giving her another kiss in the head and tucking his daughter under the sheets, he looks at her with pride and brushes her hair off her face before going downstairs, finding his boyfriend sitting on the couch, looking at one of his books “Hey” Matt says as he walks in.

“Hey!” Mark says as he turns to Matt, a huge smile on his face. He gets up and leaves the book on the couch, walking up to Matt, to whom he surprises with a kiss. Matt smiles into it and looks sweetly at Mark as he pulls back “You have morning breath” Mark tells him simply, still smiling.

“You have no sense of timing” Matt replies and Mark smiles even more

“It’s eleven AM!”

“On a Sunday!”

Mark rolls his eyes and shakes his head, all while still grinning “I was thinking we could go have lunch near Old Town, what do you think?” He says and pats Matt’s shirt, taking lint off it

“Sure” Matt smiles “Sounds nice”

“Great” Mark nods 

“Hm… Annie sort of is still asleep and I don’t want to wake her up, you mind if we stay here for a while?”

“Not at all” Mark says, “You wanna watch a movie?”

“Sure” Matt nods and Mark moves to sit back down “You mind if I like… Take a shower and stuff while you choose?”

Mark just laughs and nods.

When the afternoon comes, they both just lay in the living room, watching movies with an eye-swollen Annie after her pet left home.

***

Toni carries her amp into the back of a van, she places it on the floor with a thud and wipes her hands on the ass of her jeans, Frank comes up from behind her, carrying both their guitars. Toni helps him load them inside and she sits on the back of the van, her feet dangling above the ground. Frank does the same.

“I’m so tired” Toni whines, her hair now dyed a very dark shade of green, the ink still sightly staining parts of her skin. “I really want to take a shower now” She says as she smells her armpit, making a disgusted face, Frank laughs.

“You’ll be able to do that soon” Frank smiles

“Well, I can’t wait for it” Toni sighs “What are we waiting for?”

“Megan is still talking to that guy that came up after the show”

“Oh, good for her” Toni laughs “Let’s see if it hits off so she’ll stop trying to set us up”

Frank chuckles “Yeah, let’s see” He says as she smiles at her adoringly. A girl in a baseball hat comes up to them, giving them flyers of a pizza place down the street from the bar they had played at. Frank stuffs it inside his pocket.

“What are you doing?” Toni asks confused 

“Just making sure we don’t lose this number, this will be great for post sex-room service” He explains

“Frank, we never even had sex”

“I know, but I really wanted to say that!” He whines and Toni snatches his hand away from the flyers “Hey!” He protests. 

“You want to be a vegetarian and wasting paper like that, what a shame! You can just save the number and pass away the flyer”

“Oh yeah, so many animals were harmed in all the tree cutting”

“Do you even hear yourself?” Toni laughs, knowing Frank’s playful tone

“I’m sorry” Frank says still laughing as well and Toni gives him a kiss on the cheek “I actually wanted to talk to you about something before we go back to drop you at home”

“Oh, sure” Toni smiles as she picks up a bottle of water from the back, opening it and taking a swig “What is it?”

“Well, as you know, my surgery is in a week and I know we’ll be busy setting up the place and housewarming and I’ll have to run a few errands and I’m not sure how much quality time we’ll be able to spend together in a while” Frank explains, still piling back the flyers onto place “So I was wondering if I could take you somewhere, like, the night before my surgery? Because I have shifts before then…”

“Somewhere like, special?” Toni laughs

“Maybe” 

“Is it a motel?”

“What? No!”

“Is it themed?”

“Why would you think that?”

“You’ve been so keen on the sex talk lately so I figured”

“Well, do you want that?” Frank frowns 

“No!!!” Toni laughs “I was just playing with you, Frank”

“Oh, okay, because Trav gave me this really cool idea on how to go out with you and I’m really excited about it and I want to make an entire night from it”

“Sound fun” Toni smiles “I’m in!”

“Of course you are” Frank smiles, before Megan comes back from inside. 

***

“Hey!” Matt smiles as Mark walks out from his house, walking up to him on the lawn 

“You’re late” Mark chuckles and shakes his head, stopping in front of the younger man. 

“I’m late for smoothies date how awful of me” Matt jokes and Mark laughs 

“Come on” Mark starts as he climbs on the passenger seat “I’m really craving one right now” He explains as he buckles his seatbelt, Matt gets in as well, on the driver’s seat and Mark pulls him closer, giving him a surprisng kiss on the lips

“What was that for?” Matt smiles at him 

“I was really craving that too” Mark answers back and Matt shakes his head with a smile on his lips before driving off.

***

Travis sits at the spread out seat of one of his Cadillacs, he looks out, appriciating the view as Frank drove it. Frank is somehow growing tense and Travis notices as he sits up to talk to his nephew

“Are you okay?” Travis asks

“Yeah… Just, just a little nervous” Frank sweats out a little “What if I screw this up?”

Travis laughs “Kid, she’s your girlfriend, the two of you should be fine”

“I know! But I still can screw this up” Frank whines

“No, you can’t, okay?” Travis asks “Just treat her right and she won’t becuase she likes you” He says and Frank looks over to him “She really likes you, kid”

Frank takes a deep breath and nods, he pulls over the fancy car to the curb in front of Matt’s house, where Travis was going to hang with them and Annie for the night.

“Okay, you be back home at ten, you hear me? Tomorrow is a big day and I want you well rested!” Travis tells him “Take care of this baby or I will kill you”

Frank laughs “Ok, mom, I think I got it, alright?”

“Alright” Travis nods as he gets out of the car, giving his nephew a tap on the side of the head “Take care of my child!” He yells as he starts walking over to the front door

Frank just smiles as he sees Matt opening the door and waving at him, Mark soon joins along and waves from the door as well.

Frank drives off and towards Toni’s house. He pulls out into the curb as he sees Toni from the distance, sitting between the concrete and the grass, the flashlights from the car hitting her in the face.

Toni gets up, she is wearing dark sinny jeans, her beat-up tour converses, a dark grey Panic! At The Disco shirt with some flowers in it and Frank’s leather jacket. Her jaw drops when she sees the car and Frank parking it, he gets out of the car and walks up to her.

“Hey” He smiles at her shyly, putting his hands into his jeans jacket’s pockets “You’re wearing my jacket? I was looking for that everywhere!”

“Oh” Toni says looking down “You want it?” She asks starting to take it off, but Frank shakes his head, smiling at her 

“No, it looks better on you, anyway” He breaks into this huge grin, admiring her “You… You like it?” Frank asks when he notices her attention has gone to the car again 

“I… You didn’t buy that, did you?” She asks shocked and Frank laughs 

“No, I… It’s Trav’s, he borrowed it to me for the night” Frank explains “He has like, five of them in a storage somewhere”

“Oh my God!” Toni laughs as she walks closer to the car and a little hesitantly touching it “Are we going out in it?”

“Yes” Frank laughs “You think I brought it here just to show it to you?”

“I… Should I change? Bec…”

“No, you… You look perfect” He tells her shyly, carding his hand through his freshly dyed black hair she had done for him the night before “You could be wearing feety pajamas and it would still be perfect” 

Toni laughs and shakes her head, looking over to him and reaching out to take his hand, pulling him into a kiss. She puts both hands on his neck, pulling him up and closer, Frank looks at her with a smile when they’re done

“We… We should get going…” He tells her

“Where are we going?” Toni asks as she moves to get into the passenger seat 

“You’ll see…” Frank smiles at her as he climbs in on the other side and starts the engine.

Frank drives off into the night, Toni giggles from time to time with the wind on her face, throwing her dark green hair everywhere

“Are we there yet?” Toni asks after they have been on the road for a while “We’ve been driving for over half an hour, soon enough we’ll be in LA. Are you sure we are not in Mexico?”

“We’re almost there” Frank laughs as he drives into an exit and Toni jumps happily on her seat. Frank only grins. It takes them some more ten minutes to reach a farm, he drives in and Toni frowns at him confused

“Hm… Where are we going?”

“You’ll see…”

“You’re going to kill me, aren’t you?”

“Not with these beige leather seats” Frank laughs and Toni sighs from her side “Don’t worry, okay? I think you’re gonna like it”

Toni sighs again “Yeah, okay” She smiles at him and nods. Soon enough they reach a dead-end with a white sheet spread out across some stacks of metal. Toni frowns even more when Frank parks his car right there “Frank, we’re in the middle of nowhere”

“I know” He says and honks his horn, Toni notices there’s a house not that far from there and squints her eyes at it. Then a light hits her in the face and she looks over to the white sheet, where the light was coming from. 

She then sees the opening credits to Lady and the Tramp. Toni turns to Frank with wide eyes.

“You… You brought me to a drive in?” She asks him quietly and he smiles sweetly at her 

“Do you like it?”

“I… I love it!” Toni tells him with a huge smile “Frank, I… This is my all-time favorite movie, I used to watch it with my mom and… And I would have her and dad make up the scenes and I was always Scamp and my brothers would get so mad at that”

“Between the three of you, you really are Scamp” Frank laughs

“Thank you!” Toni shouts “But… Why did you go through all of this? We could’ve seen it at home…”

“I… I just wanted to” Frank breathes out “This was a drive-in back in the 70′s and, hm, Gus” He points over to the house “The owner of the farm still keeps it running when someone asks him to, Trav gave me the idea, you know…”

Toni just looks up at the screen mesmerized, not knowing what to say, her mouth just hung open as she carefully thought things out

“I love you” Toni turns to him as soon as the opening credits end and the heavy snowy song starts playing on the back “I love you, Frank!”

Frank’s eyes widen, he looks at her taken aback “Toni, I…” He shakes his head “This… This was really unexpected”

“You don’t have to say it back, I know how much this means to you and believe me, I am not saying this just for the heck of it, Frank” Toni tells him “I really love you. It’s okay, I’m not going anywhere” She says as she takes his hand, Frank doesn’t look at her, he just stares at the movie, watching Lady being unwrapped from the hat box

“I…” He starts again without looking at her “I love you too, Toni” Frank breathes out and Toni lets out a huge smile “I really do, I… I was planning on telling you today”

“Well” She smiles as she scoots closer to him “I guess I was just quicker” Toni whispers as she leans in and gives him a kiss. Frank puts both his hands on her neck, pulling his girlfriend closer as she moved a hand towards his stomach, placing a hand on his tiny tummy under his shirt, and making him giggle into the kiss

“Are we gonna watch the movie or are we just gonna keep making out until it ends?” Toni asks, pulling back a little and leaning into his shoulder

“We have about half an hour after the movie is done” Frank laughs “Don’t worry”

“You really thought this out, huh?”

“I did” Frank smiles and Toni gives him one last quick kiss before she snuggles onto his shoulder, holding him tight “You know there is candy and drinks on the backseat but I don’t want you to move now” He says after he wraps his arms around her, pulling her closer

“Oh no” She says pulling back and looking over behind the seat “You know to never offer me food!” She shouts and leans back to pick up the stuff. Frank only smiles


	34. December 23rd-30th, 2017

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLOOOO EVERYONE!!!
> 
> Okay, so first things first, this chapter was a tricky one to write, and still, I'm not still 100% content with the way I wrote a few things, but I am 99% there.
> 
> Second, As you might notice by the date of the chapter, from now on, the chapters will have large gaps of time in-between them, unless until the last three chapters or so when it reaches closer to the final ending. 
> 
> And last, but not least, by this chapter, Chasing Hearts now is the largest blink-182 fic online in terms of number of words (If there's any other that surpasses us please me know, sometimes we don't actually know all fics in the fandom). The largest fic until now was Out Of The Blue, which what a surprise it's also mine (I lowkey feel like a freak now). 
> 
> Though I know that this is not a competition, I just feel really happy about it because this fic wasn't supposed to be more than 50.000 words when I first started it, and now it's 3x bigger than that and it's not even finished yet. I want to thank everyone who reads and comments and leaves kudos because your support really is everything to me and is what motivates me to keep writing more and more everyday. 
> 
> Now, enough with the sappy shit, ENJOY!!

The Christmas decoration is already all up on the Skiba household.

“Another one there!” Annie smiles as Matt lifts her up towards the top of the tree they have in the corner of the living room, where she places another Christmas ornament.

Matt brings her down to the ground and takes a deep breath “You’re getting too big for this, little girl” He says out of breath.

“I’m not!” Annie says offended, a pout to her lips

“Yes, you are, you’re almost eight, kid” Matt laughs, bending to leave a kiss on top of her head as she fixed other ornaments that were about her height. They both hear a knock on the door and Matt smiles before leaving Annie to go open it, where he sees Mark by the door, a thermos bottle on his hand

“Who wants hot chocolate!?” Mark yells towards the inside of the house, giving Matt a peck on the lips “I missed you” Mark whispers

“Missed you more” Matt laughs, admiring every single feature on his boyfriend’s face.

Annie jumps in front of Mark, trying to reach the thermos “I dooo!!” She whines, her tiny hands up at Mark “Pretty please!”

Mark shakes his head and gives her the bottle “Go set up the mugs on the table and get the marshmallows, we’ll be there in a second, okay honey?” Matt asks his daughter and she nods

“Okay daddy!” She giggles and runs back inside. Mark looks over to Matt and frowns happily

“What do you have in mind?” Mark asks curiously

“Nothing!” Matt answers innocently “We just got the tree done; I thought you wanted to check it out…” He pulls Mark by the hand, dragging him inside the living room, Mark immediately sees the tree and smiles

“Wow, that… That is beautiful!” Mark breathes out “I miss making the tree with the kids, you know?” He sighs and walks closer, reaching for one of the ornaments

Matt sighs “Well, do you like ours?” Matt asks “If anything Annie will be able to do it all again with you…” Matt laughs but Mark shakes his head

“Don’t bother, really” He laughs, still admiring the tree, then he looks up to the ceiling “What’s that?” He asks pointing up

“Oh my!” Matt fakes surprise “Is that a mistletoe?” He asks making a face, and Mark smiles, knowing this is all an act

“You think you’re so smart, don’t you?”

“How did it get here, I have no idea!” Matt continues his joke and Mark smiles even more, shaking his head and walking closer to Matt, wrapping both arms around his neck and giving his boyfriend a kiss, Matt smiles into the kiss, pulling back slightly “I love you, Mark” He says

“I love you too” Mark smiles back at him “So…” He starts as he pats Matt’s shoulder, taking lint away “Are you excited to spend christmas with my family?”

“Yes!” Matt nods “Annie is pretty excited too”

“Good to hear” Mark takes Matt’s hand, dragging him away to the kitchen, where Annie sat with her face already all dirty with chocolate.

***

Toni and Paul cling desperately to each other

“And then she told me my work was shit and she ripped it all out!” Paul tells her as he presses her head further into his chest 

“Noooo!” Toni shouts outraged “No, she didn’t!”

“Yes, she did! Probably I wouldn’t have been so pissed if it had been a digital project but I had done it all by hand! That took me hours!”

“Gosh, I am so lucky I don’t have to go to college”

Paul laughs “Maybe you are, sis” He sighs as he pulls back “Maybe you are”

“Are you hungry?” Toni asks pointing at the table behind them full of desserts 

“Hell yes” Paul exhales “But we can’t eat yet”

“Watch and learn” Toni chuckles as she moves over, trying to steal a cup of chocolate pudding away from the table of desserts her grandma makes every year, this year extra special because ‘Mark’s kids are here!’. Toni looks around, she sees her grandma, her aunt, her dad, Matt, Annie and her cousins sitting together in the living room, talking. Her dad has an arm wrapped around Matt’s shoulders as they laugh at something her baby cousing is saying. Toni sneaks one behind her back before Joe comes up from behind her.

“I’m seeing this” He whispers to her and she jumps surprised, quickly looking back at her older brother 

“Fuck, Joe! Just leave me alone” Toni rolls her eyes before walking back to Paul, giving him the plastic

“God, I love you so much” Paul laughs 

“Of course you do” She says as she sticks a finger inside, noticing she didn’t get spoons, she takes some out and brings to her lips, humming contently “Hm, God!” She whines “Grandma makes the best dessert, doesn’t she?”

Paul does the same, he laughs and nods “She sure does”

“What are you guys doing?” A voice suddenly breaks them and both twins turn around to see Mark behind them, raised eyebrow and judging them

“I… We…” Paul starts, but fails to speak 

“Oh my God, give me some of that!” Mark whispers desperately to them as he takes the cup away from Toni’s hand, putting his finger inside as well, humming contently when he feels the sweet in his lips. The twins giggle and Mark shooshes them “Don’t let my mother know about this!”

“Okay” Paul nods as Mark finishes eating it all

“I guess we should go back now” Toni suggests and Mark sighs sadly, staring at his empty cup 

“I guess” The three of them walk back to the living room, where everyone was staring at them, Matt starts laughing “What?” Mark asks innocently

“Dude, your face is all covered in chocolate” Matt answers and Mark quickly rubs his face, the twins giggle

“The two of you are so dead when you get home” Mark shakes his head and they both burst out fully laughing 

“Mark, I am just going to ignore this” His mom says and Mark rolls his eyes

“But Mom!”

“So, Toni honey” She starts as she pulls her grandaughter to sit with her “Your dad tells me you’re going on tour soon enough”

“Yes!” Toni smiles, finally being able to talk the one subject she actually wants to “We’re leaving in two days and we’re playing a few concerts around and even a New Years party!”

“That’s great, sweetie” Her grandmother smiles “Are you hungry?”

“Yeah!” Toni suddenly smiles big

“Let’s eat then, except for Mark who was stealing food”

“Mom!” Mark whines 

***

“I’m gonna reach up to you!” Mark laughs as he runs trying to catch up with Matt down the hallway

“No you won’t!” Matt shouts back and Mark slides down on his ankle high purple socks, he grabs Matt by the waist and they both slip on the floor, but not losing their balance. Matt looks down and supports himself by holding both Mark’s hands and he frowns “Are you wearing my socks?”

“What? No!” Mark exclaims, looking down as well

“You only have white socks!”

“No I don’t!”

“Those socks are mine, Mark!” Matt laughs and shoves him, they both slip again, but this time they cannot balance anymore

“Fuck, Matt” Mark shouts before Matt lets out a tiny scream and they both fall onto the floor, Matt top of Mark “God, I hate you so bad” Mark sighs as he takes a deep breath with the weight of a full grown man on top of him

“I’m sorry!” Matt whines between his laughter “Are you okay?”

“I guess” Mark says looking back and Matt smiles before leaning in give him a kiss “I think I will be” He says when Matt pulls back slightly and Matt smiles before leaning in again.

“No, but really?” Matt asks, wrapping an arm around his boyfriend “Are you really okay? I know the whole Toni thing must be bumming you out”

Mark shrugs “I don’t really want to talk about it, you know?” He sighs “I knew she would have to leave home one time or another”

“Yeah” Matt sighs “I just worry because I don’t want to feel like you’re lonely, I don’t want you to need anything”

“It’s all going to be okay” Mark smiles, leaning in to kiss Matt again “I promise, okay?” He asks as he starts pulling back, dragging Matt with him into the bedroom. 

“What are you doing?” Matt laughs 

“You know what I’m doing” Mark giggles as he kisses Matt again, throwing him on the bed.

***

A few days later, Mark has his head buried on Matt’s neck when his phone starts ringing

“Matt?” He calls his boyfriend, who just grunts “Can you throw my phone away?”

“You do it” Matt whines in his sleep and Mark sighs, he rolls onto his back and reaches for the phone on the nightstand, noticing that it was his daughter calling him. 

“’Ello” He says into the reciever, running a hand through his face 

“Wakey wakey sleeping beauty!” Toni chirps happily at the other end “It’s 11AM already!”

“Annie is at her friend’s! Let me sleep!” Mark whines as he crawls closer next to Matt, who wraps both arms around the older man again

It had been a couple of days since she had gone on tour again for the rest of the year, and since then it has been sketchy to meet her up for a talk on the phone “Rise and shine!”

“I’m asleep!” Mark laughs and Matt pokes and pulls him, trying to bring Mark into the embrace again “Matt, I have to talk to Toni…”

“Happy easter!” Matt whines and turns away from Mark, snugging now into a pillow. 

“Is your brother there?”

“Yes, he’s driving the van right now” 

“Good” Mark smiles “So…” he sighs as he gets up, walking out of bed in just his boxers “How is tour going?”

“Nice, we’re having so much fun!”

“How is Frank? How are you guys?”

“He’s great, we couldn’t be better. I actually needed to talk to you about something…” She smiles at the other end

“Awesome. What is it?”

“Well…” Toni starts “Jared just found out a couple of days ago that his roommate is not going to college this semester anymore, so he has to find a new place. We got to sit and talk and we were considering the possibilty of the four of us moving in together…”

Mark breathes in 

“What?” He laughs quietly, trying to break the ice within himself “You want to move out?”

“Yeah…” Toni answers sadly at the other end “We want to record an album and we figured this is the best way to do so, you know? We already talked to Travis and there is this apartment building across the street from his house and he looked into it and they have a two-bedroom available, he said he is going to sign the lease for a year in a couple of days if everyone is okay with it…”

“Oh” Mark nods, looking down at his feet “I see”

“So… Would that be a problem?”

“It shouldn’t be” Mark smiles sadly “You were going to move out if you had gone to college anyway”

“And I’ll be within walking distance! Isn’t that great?”

“It is” Mark nods to himself “It’s real sweet, kid”

“So… Should Travis sign the papers?”

“If that’ll make you happy, sweetheart…”

“It really will, dad” Toni breathes out 

“Then go ahead” Mark smiles, and Toni squeals 

“Oh my God! Thanks, dad! I love you so much!”

“I love you too kid” Mark sighs, he turns to his side and sees Matt still fast asleep, the man shifts in his dreams and Mark smiles to himself, bringing himself closer and leaving a tiny kiss on Matt’s temple before trying to shake away the longing feeling for his growing daughter, the last to leave the nest. 

***

Mark is sitting at Matt’s desk, typing something into his computer, his ring and little finger on his left hand twitching, but not moving, as usual. He hears the glass door that shows the view to the living room opening and Annie comes in running. Mark notices she is all dressed up in camo clothing, he laughs as she climbs on his lap and looks on his computer

“What are you doing?” She asks with her child-like voice, Mark smiles 

“Just writing some stuff”

“Are you writing a book?” She asks curiously and Mark nods 

“I guess I am” If it wasn’t he would’ve already thrown the computer to the floor so she didn’t have to see what he was writing. 

“What is it about?” She wonders, placing her thumb on her lips, biting on her nail. Mark takes her wrist and pulls it down, Matt really has been trying to kill that bad habit of hers. 

“Well” Mark frowns “It’s about a dude that he… He is about to do something really stupid, and then another dude comes in and he stops the first man from walking off the led..-” The door opens again and this time, Matt is the one who comes in all in camo, Mark bursts out laughing “What are you doing?” He asks cheerfully as Matt walks over, giving him a quick kiss on the lips before Annie jumps off Mark’s lap, running to Matt

“We even got a secret handshake!” Annie says cheerfully 

“And she loves the music that my band makes” Mark adds quickly

“What?” Matt frowns 

“What?”

“Anyway” Matt shakes his head “Let’s show Mark what we got?”

“Yes! Please!” Annie cheers again and her and Matt do the entire show, slapping palms, whistiling and spins. Mark laughs.

“Can I learn that too?” He asks Annie, but the girl only gives him a thought

“Maybe” She says as she grabs her dad’s hand “I can teach you, but you have to promise me you won’t show it to anyone else”

“Maybe we can have our own secret handshake” Mark suggests, whispering closer to her so Matt ‘wouldn’t listen’, but the younger man just smiles at his boyfriend adoringly “Not even your dad will know”

Annie’s eyes light up, she nods quickly and Mark picks her up

“Do I have to dress up in camo?” He asks

“Not if you don’t want”

“Good, I don’t actually have anything in camo”

“That’s okay” Annie shrugs as Mark goes back to the living room and Matt follows them 

“Hey Annie, do you want to show Mark what we bought today?” Matt asks with a smile and Annie nods

“What did you get?” Mark asks laughing as Matt started going towards the backyard, Mark followed him with Annie still on his arms, until they reached an empty place in the grass, near the picnic table where the box of a camping tent lied. Mark only smirked “You guys are gonna camp?!?” He asks excitedly. Matt laughs because he knows it’s genuine of Mark and not just a show because of Annie. 

“Yes! Do you want to help us set it up?” Annie asks and Mark nods “Please please please, Mark!” She whines

“Boy! Do I?” He laughs as he and Annie rush to open the box, Matt just stares at them amused, ocasionally helping them because he was the only one there who actually had experience in setting one up

“You know” Mark started as Matt held one of the sticks up and Mark unfolded the polyester “Elise and the kids used to camp on our backyard all the time” He laughs “They never slept in them because the tent was too small for the four of them, so after a few years we started setting it up in the living room” He smiles at the memory, putting the fabric up and tying it “She would travel sometimes and she would actually camp, like in the woods and in the desert. I never went with her, it sounded gross, and someone needed to stay with the kids…”

“Camping is actually pretty fun” Matt pipes in “So, you never slept on a tent?”

“Not really” Mark laughs as he scratches the back of his head 

“Dad, you think we can sleep out here?” Annie asks and Matt nods 

“Yeah, I don’t see why we can’t…” He answers and looks at Mark “What do you think?”

Mark slowly starts to nod “Sounds fun!”

“Yay!” Annie shrieks as she runs inside the house again “I am going to get pillows!”

Both Mark and Matt smile to each other out of adorableness, eventually they get everything set up with blankets and pillows. Matt and Annie tell Mark horror stories they have been developing together since forever. Mark smiles sadly at one point, because he knows he won’t ever have that type of bond again. He can’t even imagine the dread of never having kids, it must suck, because you don’t know what you have until you miss it, but how would you know if you never even had it?

Mark sighs, they watch some Stranger Things on an iPad before Annie falls asleep by Matt’s side. He then embraces Mark and leaves a kiss on his forehead as the older man lies on his chest, opposite from the girl.

“Hey” Matt whispers to him and Mark hums contently

“Hey you” Mark smiles and pulls Matt even closer

“I have something to ask you”

“Well” Mark yawns “What is it?”

“Will you go on a date with me?” Matt asks and Mark laughs

“We’re already boyfriends. We’ve been together for six months…” Mark then frowns “Aren’t we?”

“I know, of course you stupid thing” Matt laughs “I just want to take you out, is that okay? We didn’t really date much to be honest”

Mark smiles, looking into his boyfriend’s bright blue eyes “Well, I guess you’re right” Mark whispers “Take me out and make me feel like a lady”

Matt laughs as well “I promise I will” He says before Mark falls asleep in his arms “I love you, Mark” Matt whispers to him.

Mark slowly flutters his eyes open and gives his boyfriend a weak smile “I love you too, Matt”

***

Mark is impatiently waiting in his living room; he has already watered the plants and cleaned the house. He now sits on the couch with Joe in the living room as each of them tried to read a book, since the kid was waiting for his brother to come back from tour to go back to San Francisco

“Stop shaking your foot, please!” Joe says in monotone and Mark looks over to his son with a frown on his face “Don’t worry, your date is gonna be here soon… Okay?”

Mark sighs, “I know, it’s just that he’s late. Matt is never late”

“Traffic” Joe suggests without looking up from her book “Spilled something on his shirt, the kid started crying, he had to stop to put gas. The possibilities are infinite, dad. Just relax”

Mark nods and clasps both hands together

“Are you going out tonight?” Mark asks but Joe just sighs, turning another page

“No, just gonna stay at home for the first time in over six months” He laughs and shakes his head “Why?”

“Nothing…” Joe looks back down to his book before the doorbell finally rings. Mark jumps off the couch, running up to the door and opens it, seeing Matt in front of him, white button down, black hat on his head, and the cutest smile he could ever pull off, making Mark smile back as well

“Hey” Mark said in a low, quiet voice

“Hey you” Matt answers and crooks his head a little to the side, smiling even more “You ready?”

“Sure” Mark says and turns to say goodbye to his son, he then walked out of the house, closing the door behind himself

Mark starts walking to the car and Matt looks at him walking away “Did you get everything?”

“Sure”

“Really?”

“I gotta be honest I’ve just been sitting on the couch for the last fifteen minutes” Mark says as he comes back up to Matt “I’ve been really nervous”

Matt laughs and shakes his head, he walks up to Mark and places both hands on his shoulders, leaving a kiss on his cheek, he pulls back and Mark is staring at him with those big blue baby eyes “It’s okay” Matt smiles and brushes hair off his boyfriend’s face.

“Alright, can we go now?” Mark asks him and Matt nods “Great!” Mark says and takes Matt by the hand, pulling him over to the car.

***

Mark slips again and falls onto the floor, both his hands and his ass smashing into the ground. He whines and puts both hands on fists, smashing them on the floor as he let out a mix of a cry and a laugh. Matt rushes over to him and stops perfectly in his roller skates, then he kneels in front of Mark.

“Are you okay?” Matt asks concerned “You really should stay by the bars”

“You should stay by the bars!” Mark tells him annoyed, sticking out his tongue at the younger man

“At least let me help you…” Matt laughs “Come on!”

Mark sighs and looks away “Alright” He says and extends his hand to his boyfriend “Help me get up”. Matt laughs and shakes his head; he gets up and takes Mark’s hand, helping him stand back on his wheels. “I’m all sweaty, why did you bring me here anyway?” Mark asks “You know I’m a shit roller skater”

“Come on!” Matt laughs as he puts his foot ahead “Follow me” He says and Mark tries to imitate his movements “You are always boasting about skating when you were younger, I thought you would rock this…” Matt laughs

“I surfed once in a while, but I only skated because of… You know who…” Mark says and Matt sighs

“Mark, you can say his name,” Matt tells him, but Mark shakes his head

“I rather not”

“When was the last time you talked to him anyway?”

“The day he left” Mark looks at Matt and keeps a serious tone to his feature, Matt looks at him in the eye and nods, noticing Mark’s annoyance towards the subject “Where did you learn to roller skate like this? I thought you were into bikes and shit”

“I am” Matt laughs “Although you should remember I have a seven year-old girl who is really into pink wheels and purple helmets”

Mark chuckles, Matt takes his hand as he slips once again “Of course, I forgot about that phase” He says and squeezes Matt’s fingers “Why didn’t you bring her?”

“Because she’s at a play date at a friend’s house” Matt tells him, Mark nods “and she was the one who said I should bring you here, so…”

“Really?” Mark laughs surprised

“Yeah” Matt says as he holds Mark from falling again, they both laughs Mark stumbles back to his feet “She really likes you”

“Well, I really like her too” Mark smiles “I will remember to thank her for this sometimes” He says and Matt laughs.

***

“That was… Well, I was very…”

“Tiring” Matt asks and looks at Mark, who is still out of breath when he finishes tying his shoe, he puts his foot back on the ground with a groan.

“I don’t think I have the strength to tie the other side…” Mark breathes out and looks at Matt with a pout and puppy eyes. Matt chuckles, the shoe was already on his foot, it just needed to tie the laces, so Matt kneels before him and puts his fingers on the job “Matt, no, you don’t need to, I was kidding!” Mark laughs, “What are you doing?”

“Just a favor for my date, is that wrong?” Matt laughs as he gets up, extending Mark his hand to help him get up again

Mark smiles and he feels himself blush as Matt helps him to his feet “Not at all” He says and wraps an arm around his boyfriend’s hip, half-hugging him as they walk away and Mark places his head on Matt’s chest

“You’re all sweaty” Matt laughs and wraps both arms around Mark “Someone’s gonna need a bath when we get home, huh?” He says and Mark laughs, “You wanna eat something?”

“Actually, now that you’ve said it out loud, I see that I’m insanely hungry…” Mark laughs “Maybe some ice cream?”

“I was thinking we could go grab some fries and a vegan milkshakes, what do you think?”

“Ohh, I would love that!” Mark smiles as he pulls away slightly to look at Matt

“They actually have them here, do you want to stay?”

“Sure” Mark shrugs and they move over to the area with the tables and the bar at the end of the rink, they sit at a booth, side by side as a perky young girl came over to take their order.

“So” Matt starts after a while since she was gone now “How’s Toni?”

“She’s fine” Mark smiles as he nods “She told me the band wants to move in together”

“What?” Matt laughs “How would that work?”

“Apparently they even have the apartment already” Mark explains “It’s right across the street from Travis’s”

“Oh, that’s not a bad place!” 

“I know!” It doesn’t look bad from the outside, you know? I just…”

“You don’t want her to move out”

“Exactly” Mark sighs and Matt squeezes his hand, pulling him closer and kissing the top of Mark’s head 

“It’s going to be okay, you know” Matt whispers “It’s time”

“I guess” Mark smiles sadly, that is when the same girl from before comes with their milkshake and their plate of fries on her arms

“Vegan chocolate milkshake with ovaltine and fries, is that right?”

“Hell yea!” Mark smiles big as the girl places both of them on the table, handing a thick straw to each of them “Thank you!”

“Actually, thank you, sir. I’ll be by the bar if you need anything else, okay?”

“Sure” Matt smiles as he puts his own straw on the milkshake and the girl smiles and nods before walking back to her place. Matt draws in some of the shake and sighs pleasantly as he swallows it “Oh my God, this is so good! We should come here more often…”

Mark laughs as he drinks some of it as well “I completely agree with you”

They continue to drink in silence, until Matt reaches out and grabs Mark’s hand and rests their intertwined fingers together on top of his lap, he sees Mark’s smile when he does so and giggles when he sees his boyfriend all turning to red.

“You’re not going to be alone, you know that, right? When Toni leaves…” Matt asks while he still smiles at Mark’s shy grin “Annie and I wouldn’t let that happen”

Mark shyly starts to nod “Thanks” He says and looks to Matt, who only smiles even more before leaning in and giving him a kiss.

Mark smiled against his boyfriend’s lips when he tasted the vanilla and the sweet sugar on them. Both of his lips and his tongue were cold as Matt gave him the lightest and most shy kiss Mark had seen in years.

Matt pulls back and stares into Mark’s blue eyes, giving him a reassuring grip on his hand and another smile.

***

They both laugh as they stumble back to Matt’s house, Mark quickly takes off his shoes by the door and Matt wraps an arm around him as they go upstairs.

“I think I am ready for a nice, good bath” he smiles as he pulls Mark by the hand into his room, looking back at his boyfriend proudly “Come on” Mark smirks as he follows Matt into the room. The man gives him a kiss on the lips and makes Mark sit down on the bed “I am gonna get the tub ready and you can change into the robe I got you and we’ll meet inside, is that okay?”

“Sounds perfect” Mark smiles as he watches Matt leave into the bathroom. Mark does as told as he giggles when he feels the warmy fuzzy fabric against his skin, he goes downstairs and picks two glasses of wine. He goes back upstairs and Matt is already in the bath when he walks into the bathroom “Thought you might like this” Mark smiles as he hands Matt one of the glasses.

“Oh my, you read my mind,” Matt laughs as he takes it and Mark puts his robe away, getting inside the bathtub as well. They drink and talk for a while when inside the bathtub, they stay in for a few minutes until they get out, pulling out the drain. Mark walks out of the bathroom and goes into the room, looking for a clean pair of boxers and an old t-shirt on Matt’s drawer.

He gets himself dressed in his boyfriend’s clothes and turns his back to him as the man closes the door of the bathroom behind himself, leaning back on it.

“You really think you need that much clothing now?” Matt laughs as he stands against the door in just his boxers. Mark laughs as well and shakes his head as he walks closer to him

“You know, I am a pure young lady” Mark smirks as he gets closer, pressing his hand by the side of Matt’s head, leaning it against the door.

“Last time I checked you weren’t so pure…” Matt whispers to him and turns on his feet, making Mark stand against the door now.

“The wine really gets you going, doesn’t it?” Mark smiles

“It does the trick” Matt smirks as he grabs Mark by both arms and press his lips against his as he pushes him into the door.

Mark melts into it, his hands curling and turning into fists on Matt’s shirt “Hi there” He smiles up at the younger man, breaking away the kiss. Matt smiles down at him as well before kissing his chin, moving to his jaw line and feeling his facial hair tingling on his own lips. Matt bites on the skin and he can hear Mark breathing in deep, preparing a moan.

He can see Mark closing his eyes and throwing his head back. One of Matt’s hands go to his neck, pulling on his hair slightly while the other slid down to his hip, bringing him closer.

Mark’s nails dig into the skin of Matt’s upper back, leaving bruises, and Matt swears he could not be more turned on by that. He turns Mark around, now pressing himself against the door, Mark bites onto Matt’s bottom lip as I let out a moan. Mark moves to kiss his neck and starts pulling on the hem of his shirt, fumbling with it so Matt would take it off

Mark kisses him again and lets both his hands go up under Matt’s shirt, touching his back and then moving his hands to his chest and Matt can feel his knees going weak under the older man’s touch. Mark leaves a trail of kisses on his jaw line and neck, his hands touching Matt’s chest and then wandering down towards the waistline of his jeans. Matt takes a deep breath, holding back a moan when Mark’s hand wraps around his cock, earning a loud groan out of him.

Matt has his lips parted as Mark kisses his jaw, pumping him and letting him squirm underneath himself.

“You’re such a good boy” Mark breathes out, whispering into Matt’s ear “Come on” Mark turns him around, making him stand against the wall. Mark kisses him and pulls him towards the bed.

Matt crawls on top of it and waits for Mark to strip and stand in only his boxers; he moves on top of Matt and kisses him lightly before thrusting his crotch into the younger man’s. His nails crave into the skin of Mark’s back; Mark pulls apart from his kiss and faintly bites on Matt’s jawline, feeling his stubble against his teeth.

After a while, Mark climbs towards the nightstand, looking for the lube and condom. Matt’s hands grab the lube when he throws it towards him and Mark gets himself busy by opening the condom, ripping it with his teeth.

“Gimme, I’ll prep you,” Mark says still out of breath once he has the condom on and Matt hands him the bottle.

Mark pushes a finger inside, and then two, as soon as he realizes, Matt is already thrusting his ass into Mark’s hand. “It feels good doesn’t it?” Mark asks with a hoarse voice into Matt’s ear, biting onto his earlobe.

Matt can’t barely move when he nods, he says thrusting his ass onto Mark’s hand, craving more friction, a tiny moan escapes his lips and Mark smiles to himself

“You want me to fuck you?” He asks, but he gets no answer from Matt “You want me to fuck you like you deserve to be fucked?” Matt whines loudly, a loud moan coming from his lips now that Mark has found his prostate “I know you like this, pretty boy”

“Fuck, I…” Matt shakes his head “Please…!”

Mark laughs and kisses his lips, Matt groans against them, which makes Mark smile even more “Okay, enough with stringing you along…” He says and positions himself on top of Matt, letting his dick get in inch-by-inch, earning more beautiful moans out from the younger man.

Mark chuckles and Matt wraps his legs around his hips, raising his ass for Mark. His head buries itself on Matt’s shoulder and he starts kissing his skin, both of Matt’s hands are on his hair, grabbing it forcefully and with strength “Mark. Oh God, Mark, please” He moans and pleads as he grinds against the man.

Mark’s lips crawl to Matt’s chin again and he kisses it before reaching the lips again “Matt” He moans “You’re so tight, fuck!” Mark throws his arms around my neck and pulls me closer for another kiss “I’m coming” He says “Fuck, Matt. Shit, I’m so close”

“Fuck” Matt moans, “I’m so close, Mark”

Mark comes first, spilling his hot liquid into Matt, who comes right after, but Mark still watches him, his face going soft and smiling in pleasure. It is as if he’s been waiting this for so long. Mark kisses him when he is about to reach the end, weak and out of breath.

Once he is back, he pulls out of Matt and takes his condom off, tying it into a knot and throwing it aside. Mark kisses his stomach as Matt closes his eyes and just appreciates the moment.

They are both out of breath and sweaty when Mark climbs back on top of Matt again. He grabs him by the sides and turns them over, making Matt stand on top as he giggles and he leave kisses all over Mark’s face “You’re so beautiful” Matt sighs as he leans in to touch their foreheads together, their eyes looking right into each other “You’re fucking beautiful, babe”

Mark closes his eyes and places a hand on the back of Matt’s neck, pulling him close to kiss him again.

“I love you, Mark”

“I love you too, Matt”

"Tomorrow is new years, you know?" Matt purrs

"I know" Mark smiles

"Do you want to stay here with Annie and I?"

"I would love to" Mark smiles again and Matt mirrors him, smiling big and pulling Mark into him again. Matt gives him another kiss on the lips as he caressed Mark’s hair, lulling him to sleep.


	35. April 20th-30th, 2018

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so sorry for the delay everyone! I know it's been over five (five!) months and I could never apologize enough!! But briefly let's just say I blame college and my summer job heh

Mark spreads the white sheets over the bed again, he takes a look at his notebook, reads something and smiles, he jumps a few pages forward and scribbles something down furiously, the amused grin still playing on his lips.

He hasn’t felt good like this in months

Not months, _years_ , to be more exact

The door of the bedroom slowly creaks open but he does not look up.

“Here you are…” The over-familiar voice says as it steps over to him

“I’m busyyy” Mark answers, whining at the end but an amused tone on his voice anyways

“I know you can be shutting me out while you work” Matt purrs as he climbs on the bed “May I give you some inspiration?” He whispers as he leans into Mark’s ear, biting into his lobe

Mark just sits up straighter, grabbing Matt by both his shoulders and making the younger man face him “I’m writing a novel!” Mark smiles big, giving his boyfriend the news about his new epiphany he was pretty damn happy about

“You are _what?_ ” Matt laughs amused “Oh my God, Mark! That’s great news!”

“I know!” Mark smiles even bigger, getting closer to Matt

“What is it about?” Matt tries to take a peak at Mark’s computer 

 _“Nuh uh!”_ Mark shakes his head, pulling the computer away from the other one’s sight “I’m not giving you any spoilers!”

“Why not?!” Matt whines

“Because not!” Mark laughs back 

“Well, so it’s not porn?”

_“Not porn!”_

“Do you want to keep on working?” Matt runs a finger on Mark’s cheek, adimiring him being focused and happy about his work. Mark nods and Matt gets up “Okay then, I’ll be back later”

Matt bites his lip and turns around; he seems upset when he leaves towards the hallway, closing the door behind himself. Mark sighs and looks at his notes, the ones he has got for almost three years now, when he thought out about this story in the first place. He sighs again and puts the papers away and into an empty drawer Matt had designated to him, keeping the notebook to himself 

Matt closes the door behind himself and comes back in about an hour later, plopping down by Mark’s side on the bed, just watching him work

“Where is Annie?” Mark asks 

“She’s playing in her room” Matt sighs, leaning his head on Mark’s shoulder “Do you mind if I stay here for a while, just want to rest for a second”

“Sure” Mark nods as he continues to type. The story keeps on going and when he’s done with the sketch of chapter three, he turns to his boyfriend, seeing him fast asleep on his shoulder. 

Mark smiles and turns off his computer, placing it along with his papers on Matt’s nightstand. He wraps an arm around Matt and brings the covers that were crumbled on the end of the bed over them, falling asleep on his embrace as well.

***

Toni sighs before she falls backwards into the couch, tired out of her mind and her hair still some dark shake of green since august, now recently dried from a shower. She is wearing skinny jeans and converses as she throws her legs up in the air, looking at her beat up shoes from tour.

“It’s so good to be wearing clean clothes again!” She sighs pleased “My hair smells like strawberries and is soft and clean and I love it”

Mark laughs “That color really suits you, by the way” he tells her as he sits across from her on the living room of their house “Coming back from tour will be the happiest and the saddest you’ll ever get”

Toni looks to her side, but does not move, and smiles sweetly at her dad “Thank you” She says “Is there anything to eat? I’m super hungry”

“Actually there’s not much, I thought we could ask for pizza tonight…” Mark tells her excitedly “What do you think? Will the boys like that?”

“Well, they would be keen on pizza, but can you make me food tomorrow?” Toni asks, placing both hands on her stomach “I kind of miss your homemade dinners…”

Mark chuckles and nods “I’m sorry there’s not much food right now, but I’ll go do some groceries tomorrow first thing if that’s what you really want…”

Toni nods “How many times have you come here since we went on tour?” She asks carefully as she sits on the couch, getting off her back and looking around, seeing that the place was a bit let gone “I know Joe hasn’t been around much anyway, as usual…” Mark opens his mouth and closes it before she raises a questioning eyebrow at him.

“I’m…” Mark starts confused “I’m not really sure”

Toni sighs and leans back on the backrest of the couch “All I know is that it’s a countable number, am I right?” Mark sighs and gives her a sad smile, Toni smiles and shakes her head “Dad, there’s nothing to be ashamed about, okay?”

“Really?”

Toni gets up and walks up to him, putting both hands on her hoodie’s pockets “I’m sure”

Mark smiles and gets up as well, putting an arm around her “I’ll miss you so much when you move out, kid”

Toni sighs and hugs her dad back “I’ll miss you too, dad”

***

Toni carries a box inside the apartment and both Mark and Matt follow her, a box in each of their arms. Mark places his on top of the couch and looks around the place.

“This is actually not that bad,” Mark smiles proudly as he walks up to Toni “I could live here by myself just fine…”

“Well, it’s a two-bedroom so it would be a waste of space” Toni breathes out as she looks around as well, watching Megan try to shove a couch to its place with Jared “But yeah, pretty happy place!”

“Spacious, cheerful park view and cheap, I hope”  Matt looks out the window

“It’s on our budget…” Toni laughs and shakes her head, her dark green hair flying around

“You need help setting up the place?” Mark asks as Megan walks outside and comes in again with another box

“I think we’re good now” She nods as she sees her bandmate walk into the kitchen, placing the box on the floor “It’ll be a nice time to listen to music and fix everything up, putting stuff in place, you know?” Toni laughs “We’ll be fine!” She tells her dad reassuringly

“Okay” Mark nods

“That was the last box” Megan walks back into the living room “I’m hungry, you guys wanna order pizza?” 

“Oh!” Jared jumps excitedly, clapping his hands together “Veggie pizza!”

“There is a pizza place at the corner outside that seems to be good, now would be a good time to check that out…”

“Do you have a delivery number?” Mark asks as he opens one of the boxes 

“Not yet, we can walk over there though, it shouldn’t take long and we can bring the pizza back here and christen our plastic china” Toni says 

“You two can go and we’ll unpack the regulars like silverware and towels, would that be okay?” Megan suggests at Jared and Toni

“Actually, I think Frank should be back from work by now, I’ll go meet him and we can come together”

“Sure, sounds good” Jared nods as he fixes his brown shirt on his frame, leaning down by Megan and pulling stuff out from the box.

***

Mark makes sure to arrive early to pick up Annie at school; he parks the car outside and gets out of the car to grab a smoke, he leans against the door and takes a drag. It does not take more than five minutes for the kids to start getting out of class, he looks between the kids to see if he spots Annie. He waves at her with a smile when she shows up, and he puts out the cigarette before the kid starts coming over.

“Hey baby girl” Mark smiles excitedly as she comes over and he kneels down to give her a hug.

Annie does not smile or laugh, and she does not seem to excited as she hugs him. She pulls away and he frowns at her

“Hey, is something wrong?” He asks carefully and she shakes her head “Is something upsetting you?”

“I… Just wanna go home” Annie takes a deep breath as she holds Mark’s hand

“You wanna go get ice cream?”

“No, I just wanna go home”

“Hm, okay…” Mark opens the door of the car and helps her sit on her booster, he closes the door and climbs onto the driver’s seat, Mark drives out of the school and takes a look at the girl through the rearview mirror, seeing her staring at her hands in her lap. She was wearing a beanie and Mark frowned at that.

When they arrive home, she gets out of the car by herself and walks in through the backyard. Mark locks down the car and lights up another cigarette, tracing back her steps to find her out in the back, sitting by the pool and her feet stuck inside the water. Mark takes off his sneakers and sits by her side, doing the same.

“At what time does dad come home?” She asks Mark carefully

“Before dinner” Mark answers blowing the last bit of smoke and putting out his cigarette “I’m sorry about the smoke” Mark waves out his hand, trying to get it away from her

“It’s okay” Annie smiles sadly at him and looks back into the pool

“No, it’s not okay and… Why are you wearing that beanie?”

Annie shakes her head “For nothing, just thought it looked cool…” She said and pulled even more the beanie on her head, trying to hide herself

“Annie, I…” Mark starts “I don’t want to be invasive, but something is happening” He says and she looks up at him “I know that when we have problems it’s really hard to voice them out, but I think you and your dad should talk”

“Why?” Annie wonders

“Because something is clearly making you upset” Mark tells her and places a hand on her shoulder “You don’t need to trust me anything, but you gotta trust your dad, kid” He says and she looks away, avoiding him “You… You need a hug?” Mark asks and she looks back at him, she nods and he pulls her into a hug, he feels her shaking against his chest, but he only brings her closer “Can… Can you wait here a second?”

Annie nods against his chest and pulls away. Mark rubs her shoulder and gets up, walking a bit further away from the little girl, he unlocks his phone and goes for the recent numbers he has called; he waits a little while until a familiar voice picks it up 

“Hey!” Audrey smiles at the other end “What’s up, Mark?”

“Can…” Mark starts and scratches the back of his head “Can you come by?”

“Hm… Sure” Audrey frowns “Are you at Matt’s?”

“Yeah” Mark sighs, “Annie is upset I figured she might need a girl to help her out now…”

“I see… Does Matt know about this?”

“No, just pretend you’re on the neighborhood…” Audrey sighs

“I’ll be there in half an hour” She answers and hangs up

***

Matt arrives a little bit later than usual

“I’m sorry baby girl” He says as he comes from behind Annie, hugging her and leaving a kiss on top of her now damp hair, since Mark had just talked her into getting a shower. 

The doorbell rings after a few moments. “I’ll get it!” Mark exclaims, quickly getting up and rushing over to the door, Matt frowns and follows him into the living room. 

“Hey boys!” Mark opens the door and Audrey smiles big as she lets herself in “I was in the area, I thought I would come and say hi…”

“Audrey!” Matt smiles “You look great!” He says and she gives him a smile

“Thanks Matt” She nods “You really look great with that hair too. Did you re-dye it?”

“A few days ago yes” Matt runs a hand on his hair nervously as Audrey hands her trench coat to Mark, who turns to put it on the hanger by the door 

Audrey looks at Mark and he gives her a look back “Where is Annie?”

“In the kitchen” Mark nods towards the staircase and Audrey hurries inside, Matt and Mark only hear Audrey’s banter to try to cheer Annie up from the living room 

“Is everything okay?” Matt asks

“Yeah, you don’t have to worry, okay?” Mark smiles and leaves a kiss on Matt’s cheek before Annie and Audrey walk out of the living room 

“Hey boys” Audrey calls them “Annie is going to show me her makeup upstairs so we’re coming back in a while, alright?”

“Okay” Matt nods “Have fun”

“Come on!” Annie whine, tugging on Audrey’s hand, directing both afro-haired girls towards the stairs “Dad got me some blue shadow yesterday!”

“Oh! How fun!” Audrey tells her excitedly for a kid as they start going up the stairs. 

“What do you wanna do tonight?” Mark asks as he flops down on Matt’s living room couch, casually picking up the TV’s remote like he’s done it a thousand times before. Matt moved over closer to his boyfriend and sat down by his side, Matt sighs in “She’ll be back soon enough” He smirks at his boyfriend as they both sit side by side on the couch and Mark frowns when he notices Matt biting into his fingers “Something is upsetting you…” Mark points out 

“It’s just stuff from work…” Matt sighs, bringing his hand down and Mark quickly takes it “Also, my daughter is sad and I have no clue why…” He whines, throwing his head back

“She just really upset, that’s all,” Mark says “Audrey will try and talk to her, okay?”

Matt sighs and looks at Mark, giving him an adoring look “I knew she wasn’t here just for anything” Matt chuckles and Mark smiles

“Well, I like to take care of you and Annie” He explains “Is there a crime in that?”

“Not at all” Matt smiles as he reaches for Mark’s shirt, pulling him down for a kiss on the lips. Matt puts their foreheads together “Can I ask you something?” He asks and Mark nods understandingly

“Sure! What is it?”

“Do… Do you think I’m, you know” Matt starts “A good father?”

“What?” Mark asks, pulling back and looking at Matt “You’re not asking me this…”

“What, why not?”

“Matt” Mark laughs, “You are an amazing and incredible father, I have never seen someone be this dedicated to a kid. Why are you asking me this?”

Matt takes a deep breath “I don’t know, I just… I just feel like I lack on many things, you know? I am a single father to a kid who has been through so much and she’s single handedly probably stronger than I’ll ever be myself, I am a single father to a kid who is ethnically different than me, and not only in that but also in gender and I just…”

“Matt” Mark interrupts him, Matt turns and looks at Mark, waiting for him to speak. Mark places both hands on Matt’s cheeks and looks deep into his blue eyes “It’s fine, you know? You just be understanding, and supporting of her and not a judgmental parent, then you are okay. Just support her and her decisions, try to guide her, but not change her… You are a father, you are supposed to raise her, not to fluster her with things you think she deserves. You have to help her develop her character so she can know herself what she needs…”

Matt blinks, he looks down, trying to process everything Mark had just told him “Wow” Matt says, “That’s… That’s some deep shit, Mark,” He laughs

Mark laughs back and smiles at his boyfriend “Just let her be who she is, and protect her from people who will try to change that on her. Let her grow and change and do stupid shit and be herself” Mark says with a dismissingly hand, then he sighs and looks down at his own hands “I learned that the hard way”

Matt sighs, nods, he takes Mark’s hand in his, kissing his fingers “Thank you so much for that. You have no idea what that means to me…”

Mark shakes his head “This isn’t my pep talk” He says and sighs, he looks down and pulls his hand away from Matt “I had someone tell me this after Elise passed away, I’m just passing it on to you”

He smiles sadly and takes a deep breath, not wanting to remember how Toni would kick him out of her room when she was younger.

“You are the best kind of father, the eligible one, you are a father because you want to, not because she was assigned to you by birth” Mark continues “Life assigned the happiness of the two of you,” He says and Matt smiles.

Matt jumps a little and kisses Mark’s lips, just a quick sweet kiss “Thank you” Matt says pulling back

“No need to” Mark smiles back, amazed at how cute his boyfriend looks right now

“I actually have something I need to tell you…” Matt starts again “It’s kind of big”

“Really?” Mark raises an eyebrow “What is it?”

“There’s a company in Chicago, and they want to buy ours…”

Mark frowns “It’s about work?” 

Matt sighs 

“Is it bad?”

Matt shrugs “I guess so, I think a lot of people might lose their jobs, I wouldn’t worry about writers and actors though…”

“But… What about you?” 

Matt smiles “They want me to go spend a few weeks in Chicago to sort things out, apparently they want to hire me as well!”

“Matt!” Mark smiles “That’s great!” He shrieks before leaning in and giving him a kiss on the lips 

“So… Aren’t you mad?” 

“How could I be mad when I’m so proud of you?”

“Really?” He asks and Mark nods ressuringly 

“So… When are you gonna hear anything?”

“Actually… It’s already set” Matt explains “I leave in ten days, I got the news this morning”

“Oh…” Mark frowns “For how long?”

“Six weeks” Matt tells him and Mark’s eyes widen “Will you be okay?”

“Hm, yeah, sure” Mark shrugs “I’ll be fine”

“I love you, okay?”

Mark smiles and snuggles on Matt again “I love you too” He whisper before they proceed to eanjoy each other’s embrace. Matt and Mark are still holding on to each other on the couch when Audrey comes down the stairs, she walks on her tip toes to try not to wake them up as she grabs her purse from the armchair. That is when Matt starts to open his eyes and notices her presence

“Audrey?” He whispers, “Are you leaving?”

Audrey sighs and turns to Matt, a defeated look on her face as he chokes himself trying not to laugh “Oh my God” Matt shakes his head, trying to untangle himself from Mark “What did she do to you?” He asks walking closer, brushing hair out of her face

Audrey looks at him dead on the eye; she has bright pink eyeshadow and bright blue lipstick, there are freckles drawn on her face by black eyeliner. Matt just chuckles and puts a hand on her shoulder

“Come on, let’s get you outside…” Matt smiles as he shows her the way, he grabs her coat and closes the door behind himself as soon as they’re out. He helps her put on the coat and she smiles at him, shaking a little at the cold.

“Aren’t you cold?” She asks, “It’s nighttime and it’s already getting chilly”

“It’s okay” Matt shrugs “So… How is she?”

“She’s okay” Audrey nods “She’s asleep now so nothing to worry about”

“Good” Matt nods “Thanks for talking to her”

“You’re welcome” Audrey smiles “I… I should get going…”

“You wanna take off that make-up first?” Matt asks a little awkwardly and Audrey smiles, shaking her head

“It’s okay, I’ll take it off with my make-up remover wipes, it’s easier…”

“I have those too…” Matt says pointing inside

“It really is okay, Matt” She smiles “I better go, it’s late. Say goodnight to Mark for me, will ya?”

“Sure” Matt nods “Bye” He waves at her a little shyly and she waves back at him

“Bye” She says and he smiles to himself.

***

“Is everything really okay?” Mark asks his daughter

“Dad!” Toni protests, bringing down her coffee

“You look pale, sweetie…”

“No, I don’t!” Toni frowns and shakes her head 

“Did you and Frank fight?”

“What? No! I just wanted to hang out! You don’t have to worry so much! I’m fine!”

Mark sighs in deeply “Okay then, if you say so…”

Toni only rolls her eyes

“Is everything okay around here?” David comes over and smiles at the two of them, bringing some snacks

“Dave, you don’t have to do this” Mark laughs “We’re doing just great”

“Gotta do the best for our best costumer” He winks and turns around, going back to the counter where Matt is cleaning up mugs and gives Mark and Toni a smile when he sees they’re looking at him. 

“Do you always come here?” Mark asks his daughter, Toni shrugs

“From time to time” She explains “Only when Frank is not working, he likes this place…”

“I see” Mark looks down and takes another sip from his coffee 

“Do you mind if I go to the bathroom real quick?” Toni wonders as she gets up, her dad nods 

“Sure thing” Mark sighs and leans his elbow on the table, resting his cheek on his palm. 

Toni walks away and past Matt and David behind the counter. She sees a door and walks in before she notices it’s a storage room rather than the restrooms. Lots of pieces of wood and unfinished carvings of David’s lying around. It all catches the girl’s eye as she closes the door behind herself and walks inside, even if she knows she’s not supposed to even be there to begin with.

She sees a few metal artworks in the back and walks up to them, most unfinished, by their side, there’s a wooden flat with some patterns carved on it, she runs her finger on top of it, taking off dust. Toni leans in closer until she sees a canvas hidden behind it.

Toni’s brows furrow as she pulls it from behind the wood, seeing the pink and lavander traces, her heart stops at the edge of her throat

“What the fuck?” She whispers to herself, pulling it out entirely to see the painting of her dad in front of her eyes, Skiba 2017 written underneath it. 

Toni quickly pulls out the phone from her pocket and opens her messaging app, finding the familiar name 

“Why the heck does David has a painting of Dad on the back of his shop?” 

She presses send.

***

“Are you sure you’re gonna be okay?” Mark asks Matt before his boyfriend smiles and nods

“I will, okay?” Matt asks as he leans closer to the older man “You don’t need to worry, alright? This time will be good even for Annie”

“Yeah, I know” Mark nods before leaning in, giving Matt a sweet peck on the lips and handing him his bag “I’ll see you in a month, right?”

“Yes” Matt smiles and nods 

“Bye Mark!” Annie pulls on Mark’s hand and he leans down, picking her arm on his arms to say goodbye 

“Bye kiddo! Have fun!”


	36. June 15th-25th, 2018

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO MUCH HAPPENS IN THIS CHAPTER I AM SO SORRY

Toni’s eyes try to get themselves opened but it is just useless, she is just too tired. She feels Frank scooting closer and he wraps an arm around her, she proceeds to snuggle further into him.

“Good morning” Frank sighs into her neck and Toni giggles “You know that Megan is at work and Jared is at college right now, don’t you?”

“What do you want to say with that?” She asks as she turns over, leaning her head on his chest as her hand trails down to the hem of his PJ pants. “Huh?”

“Nothing” Frank now swallows dryly, noticing how close she was suddenly

“Just stand still, okay?” She asks him and Frank nods nervously before her hand reaches down past the elastic, Frank whines lightly from underneath her

“Gosh” He breathes out with his lips open “I hate you for doing this”

“I’m doing nothing” Toni laughs as she continues her job, watching Frank being brought closer to the edge with each passing second, before they are interrupted by doorbell, disturbing them “Shh” Toni whispers into his ear “Just ignore it, alright?” She asks and Frank nods franetically when she leaves a kiss on his cheek, but the doorbell keeps on ringing impatiently.

“Who is it coming over at this hour?” Frank asks annoyed, his eyes still closed in complete bliss.

“Just pretend it’s not there, okay? Just focus here, focus on me” Toni says as she kisses her boyfriend’s cheek again, he nods and moans against her neck, she only pulls him even closer “God, you’re so hot” She breathes out and he lets out a little smile, shivering against her hand again.

The doorbell rings again and keeps persisting for a while, Frank groans and shoves Toni’s hand away

“Just go answer” He says with his cheeks flushed, “It must be urgent”

“You sure?” Toni asks, annoyed as well. She looks at Frank and he nods, she smiles sadly and leaves a quick kiss on the middle of his bare chest, right between his scars, he giggles tiredly and she gets up, walking out the room, tying her sleeping hoodie tighter around her body and closing the bedroom door behind herself.

Toni wipes her hand on her sleeping shorts and puffs out before walking up to the door as the ringing keeps going on, she quickly opens the door and her eyes widen when she sees her dad standing in front of her.

“Hey” Mark says sadly, he is wearing his dark green hoodie that covers up his hands like half of the hoodies he owns. Mark raises up a hand and waves at his daughter, who is still perplexed in front of him

“Hey dad!” She says confused “What are you doing here?”

“I…” Mark starts, he points inside quickly and scratches the back of his neck “Can I get in?”

“Sure!” Toni chuckles awkwardly and nods, opening the door for him to let him in, she says as Mark walks up to the couch “I’ll be back in a sec” She says and walks up to the bedroom, Toni opens the door and takes off her hoodie quickly, throwing it at Frank in the bed

“What the fuck?!?” Frank asks as he pulls the hoodie down from his face and sits up on the bed

“It’s my dad, get dressed” Toni hisses quietly at him and closes the door again, she looks at Mark, sitting on the couch and staring at his hand “Are you okay?” She asks walking closer “Did something happen?”

Mark shrugs slightly “Not really” He says and shakes his head “I just don’t have anything to do thought, that’s all”

“Hm, okay… Do you want coffee?” Toni asks, trying to change the subject

“Yes” Mark nods “Please”

“Be back in a sec” She says quickly before she gets up and walks to the kitchen, washing her hands and filling up three mugs of coffee, when she’s done, she moves back to the living room, now seeing Frank sitting across from her dad

“Are you okay?” Toni sees Frank ask worriedly

“I guess so” Mark shrugs

Frank sighs and moves to sit closer to Mark across from him “Mark, you can stay here with us as much as you want” Frank says, “I say it honestly, we would love your company...”

“Yeah, dad” Toni says sitting by her dad’s side “Just don’t move in cause we barely have space for the four of us…” She laughs and snuggles into him

Mark smiles and shakes his head “Thank you” He sighs, “I need the time to think about things actually. I… I brought my notebook to write. I promise I will go back home at night”

“That’s good” Frank smiles

Toni hands Frank his mug of coffee as well and he takes it with a smile, blowing her a kiss. Toni smiles and pulls Mark’s notebook from the coffee table closer to her, placing it on his lap as she put her head against her dad’s shoulder “You should start now” She says giving him a peck on the cheek and getting up.

***

Mark sits patiently at the table, his hand forward, the buzz of the machine stinging his ears.

“Is it hurting too bad?” Audrey asks him and Mark nods his head a little

“Just a tiny bit” Mark tries to laugh “It’s better than last time though…”

“Usually the color is the least painful part” Dan explains as he turns to the table, dipping the needle onto more ink and looking up at Audrey

“Maybe I should get a tattoo myself, what do you think, Mark?” Audrey ponders and Mark raises an eyebrow at her “Maybe I could get a heart on my buttcheek”

“It’ll probably guarantee you your job forever, you know that right?” Mark asks and Audrey hits him on the arm

“Shut up!” She exclaims “Hey! I need to tell you something!”

“Shoot” Mark says as he looks at Dan drawing another tiny circle onto one of his tentacles

“I got a job interview!” She exclaims happily

“You what?” Mark beams “Are you serious? That is amazing Audrey!”

“I know!” She exclaims, “They want me to script revise at the company, hopefully it can turn into an art directing career in the future! They want me to go to Chicago for a couple of weeks”

“What? Now you too?!” Mark exclaims pretending to be hurt “You can’t leave me too!”

“It’s just ten days!” Audrey laughs “Come on, Annie will have fun with me over there”

“Yeah, I know” Mark smiles “Audrey, congratulations!” He continues and she leans in so he can give her a kiss on the cheek “When is your interview?”

“In about a week” Audrey nods to herself “I am actually pretty excited”

“You should be”

“What about you? I guess that Matt told you about the selling, right?”

“Yeah” Mark sighs and looks at Audrey again “He says I shouldn’t worry about my job, Robert called me for a meeting tomorrow, I guess it’s to pass on thew new information…” Mark smiles

“Sounds about right” Audrey nods and Dan puts down his gun.

“I think we’re all done now” He says “Try not to wait six months before the next appointment, dude” Dan laughs and Mark smiles, admiring the art and happy that the worst part was done

“I won’t” Mark shakes his head, his eyes beaming at the piece.

***

Toni sits at the floor of their living room, her arms resting on the coffee table as she, Frank and Jared watch Raiders of the Lost Ark, Frank and Jared sit on the couch as Frank plays with Toni’s hair putting it into a braid

“Ouch!” Toni whines when Frank pulls on too hard at one point 

“Dude, you suck at it” Jared laughs “I’m surprised she’s not bald yet”

“MEGAN TELL THEM ABOUT MY BRAIDING SKILLS!” Frank yells into the apartment and Megan comes out of the conjoined bathroom, a black leather book in her hands

“What braiding skills?” Megan jokes and Frank gives her a death glare, Jared laughs “What is this?” She asks her roommates as she waves the book in the air. 

“That’s…” Jared frowns and Toni quickly gets up, taking the book away from her friend 

“That’s mine, it’s my book”

“That’s Tom’s…” Jared adds

“Hence it’s mine” Toni brings it onto her chest “Did you read this?” She asks Megan as she wipes dust off the cover 

“Something about ghosts chasing boys” Megan rolls her eyes “Didn’t read much other than that, there’s a couple of angels somewhere apparently…”

“I’m… Please don’t ever touch this again” Toni says quietly and Megan frowns 

“I… I’m sorry, I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to”

“Maybe you shouldn’t snoot around everywhere!” Toni snaps 

“Toni…” Megan laughs unbelivingly “I said I’m sorry! I didn’t know!”

“Just… Just leave me alone!” Toni turns around and runs into her room, locking the door behind herself. 

“Welp, sounds like you’re sleeping on the couch tonight” Jared tells Frank and Toni can hear his sigh from inside their room. She climbs onto the bed and under the covers, hugging the book tightly on her chest. 

Toni sighs as a tear prickles on her eyes, she opens the first page and reads

_To my Elises,_

_May your minds touch the sky,_

_And your hearts stay to earth,_

_As I’ll never be the same without you both_

She cleans away the tear in each of her eyes and flips through the book, she hasn’t read it yet, and she doesn’t think she will anytime soon, but then she feels something hard against her hand on the last page. 

“What the-” She whispers to herself and opens up the end of the hardcover, seeing a single key taped to it, she has seen that before. Toni quickly sits up and opens up the entire book across the bed, there is something scrambled against the last page. 

_Remember when I said you would someday know how much your mom loved you?_

_The box is in the basement_

_\- Tom_

“Son of a bitch” Toni whispers to herself. 

***

Mark’s smiles soon falters, there is now an envelope in front of him, his expression turns from happy to serious. Robert looks at him patiently and Mark’s feels the heavy weight in his boss’s expressions.

“What is this?” Mark asks quietly, still eyeing the envelope “You don’t seem happy about it”

“Hoppus, just d-”

“Am I being fired?!?” He asks louder, Robert blinks “Matt told me such thing wouldn’t happen!”

“Hoppus, Skiba is not in control of the department in any way!” Robert snaps now, placing both hands on the table “What happens on his side, is what happens over there… What happens here is none of his business, as is what happens over there is none of mine!”

Mark fights the urge to cry on the spot, he thought he was safe, he thought everything was done with, everything was fine.

Mark grabs the envelope and storms out from the office.

***

Mark is sitting down on the couch of his living room, the house empty, quiet, without any clue that once a happy family lived in there, that once he fought for steady income to keep his kids safe and with food on their plates. He tries to shun it out of his brain when there’s a shift on the front door, a noise on the keyhole. It was early in the morning and Toni suddenly stumbled into the house, hair a mess, pajama pants and thrown on hoodie. Both she and Mark stop when they notice each other.

“Hey” Mark stated paralyzed as he still has ice cream in his mouth

“Hey” Toni answers back as she puts the keys away into her pocket, quickly trying to fix her hair with an open plam “What’s up?”

“Hell” Mark swallowed “You?”

“Been to heaven and back” She nods

“Nice” Mark grunts as he turns back to his food “We need to talk”

“And… I need you to hold on to that thought”

“What?” Mark asks as she crosses the living room, going down the basement stairs

“I’ll be back!” Toni shouts as she’s halfway down the staircase, she runs into the hallway and goes over to the boxes shelves where they keep important things like memorabilia, books and of course, photos and things that were Elise’s. She quickly spots her mom’s precious old jewelry box, which she knew that the key was from. 

Toni pulls out the box from inside another one, she stares at the key as she holds it in her hands, careful before holding it tight and placing it on the slot, turning it over. 

It clicked. 

Toni sighs before opening up the box, seeing a bunch of cassette tapes inside of it, she picks one up and looks at it, it has Paul scribbled across it, and she knows it’s Tom’s handwriting, another one has her dad’s name. 

Toni picks one more and sees her name staring back at her. 

“Holy. Shit!”

***

Mark looked at the stairs with a frown on his face, what was Toni doing? That wasn’t common for her to do. Suddenly there was a knock on the door again “Who is it?” He shouts without looking up from the TV, or the ice cream in his arms, but the knocking keeps going on

_“Come on! You’re not gonna shun me out, are you?”_

Mark stops whatever he’s doing and quickly gets up, throwing his ice cream on the couch without caring how it landed _or_ if it even made a mess. He opens the door with one swing and sees the smile he wants to see the most in front of him, his heart racing inside his chest.

Mark doesn’t say anything before he jumps on top of Matt, clashing their lips together on a kiss

“Woah, what’s that for?” Matt laughs as he manages to close the door and breathe a little 

“Why are you here?” Mark whispers when he pulls back, though his arms are still around the younger man, he leans their foreheads together

“Robert…” Matt starts to whisper, caressing the skin on Mark’s arm “Robert told me…”

“Oh” Mark sighs, but doesn’t pull back “Let’s… Let’s not talk about that”

“Is that what you want?” Matt asks and Mark nods, Matt still has a hand on his cheek, caressing his boyfriend “Alright then” He adds as he brushes Mark’s hair behind his neck “We’ll talk when you’re ready, alright?”

“Where’s Annie? Did something go wrong at work?”

“No!! Everything is fine! She’s with my mom in Chicago” Matt reassures him “I…” He shakes his head “I just came by to make sure on how you’re doing…”

 _“MATT!”_ Both suddenly hear from behind them, Toni still looks a mess as she holds a jewelry box in her hand “What are you doing here?”

“I-” 

“You know what? Wait a little, I’ll be back in a second” Toni quickly turns around and races to the hallway that leads to the stairs that head up to the bedrooms

“What was that?” Matt laughs “Does she know?”

“Not yet” Mark sighs “Did…” he steps away a little, running an anxious hand on his arm, up and down “Did you know this was gonna happen?”

“Mark, I promise you, I had no idea about it! I swear I thought we were safe, I thought nothing was gonna change...”

“Well...” Mark laughs a bit darkly “Everything _is_ changing”

“What do you mean?” Matt frowns 

“You know...” Mark shrugs “Both you and Audrey are moving to better things…” He explains “I was the only one who missed the boat, but to be honest” He continues as he sits back down on the couch “I think the ship had sailed a long time even before I met you”

Matt sighs

“What am I going to do now?”

“You’ll figure it out, okay?” Matt whispers and pulls him closer “We’ll figure all of our problems out” He adds as Mark hugs him back

***

Matt has his head lying on Mark’s chest, his eyes were wide open, staring at the ceiling. Mark notices something is wrong

“Hey, is everything okay?” Mark asks caringly as he runs a hand on Matt’s arm. 

“Hm, yeah, I guess” Matt sits up, deatching himself from Mark “I’m kind of worried”

“About what?”

“Stuff” Matt huffs out “Life, changes”

“Yeah, I know” Mark sighs back 

“Also you a little, I guess”

Mark chuckles “You’re worried about me?” He asks as he points to his own chest

“Yeah…” Matt shrugs “You seem kind of lonely around here, you always seem to be sad. Toni told me how you’ve been after her and Frank for some time now…”

“I…” Mark rolls his eyes “I mean, the kids are not here, neither are you and Audrey, what am I supposed to do?”

Matt sighs “Actually, I need to tell you something…”

Mark sits up as well, facing his boyfriend “What is it?”

“It’s… I wish I had a better time to talk about this, but… I actually got a offer within the company…” Matt tells him and Mark frowns as he lets it sink into his mind 

“Well, what is it?”

“They-” Mark sighs in deeply, almost hating the words that are about to come out of his mouth “They want me to move back to Chicago”

Mark blinks a few times before his eyes go from Matt to his own hands  _“Oh”_ Mark blurs out “I see…”

“I…” Matt continued “I was actually wondering if you would like to move in with me” He says and Mark suddenly looks up “You know, to Chicago”

Mark frowns as he looks back at Matt

"Is this a joke?”

Matt frowns at his answer “No, Mark, I…” Matt sighs in deeply “I thought you wanted this…”

“I do! I wanted to move in with you! I want a life with you! But here! Not in cold-ass Chicago!”

“Mark,” Matt tries to explain “That’s my home as much as San Diego is yours…”

“I don’t even like it here! You know that!”

“Then take this as your chance to change the fact that you live in a city you hate, Mark! I just want you to be happy again!”

Mark shakes his head “Sounds like you’re more forcing me to be happy your way, rather than actually letting me find out what does…” He whispers as he looks down at his hands. 

“So, you don’t want to?” Matt asks, a pity in his voice “You don’t want to be with me anymore?”

“No! Matt! I do! You know how much I love you!” Mark insists, raising up to kiss his boyfriend, Matt just sighs into Mark’s face “I… I just don’t want to move out”

“But… You wanna move in with me?”

“Yes” Mark adds quietly 

“Then I’m asking you” Matt says “Please do this not for me, but for us…?”

Mark sighs and he looks over to the window, thinking about their options. Matt stares up at his boyfriend worriedly, not realizing he still has a tight grip on Mark’s good hand, and that it gets tighter with every passing second.

“I love you, pumpkin,” Mark places a hand on Matt’s neck “I love you, but it’s not going to work, this… This distance, I need time, I need to think. I guess the both of us do…”

“Mark,” Matt breaks out “You need to stop moping around and try to find some comfort within yourself, and I know that the distance kills you inside as much as it kills me…”

Mark looks at him perplexed, getting up and walking around the bed “You don’t need to stay here!” He shouts shaking his head, “I don’t need your pity! I do not need you here! I would’ve been fine with going or not anyway!” He shouts back, getting angrier and angrier by the second

“Okay!” Matt gets up as well “I’m sorry I was trying to do something nice for you, alright?”

Matt marches towards the living room and starts picking up his clothes, getting dressed

“What are you doing?” Mark asks scared 

“Going _home_ ” He puffs out “Gonna see if I can reschedule my flight for tomorrow morning...”

Mark immediately regrets everything he has done

“Matt, I…” 

“No!” Matt interrupts him as he reaches for the door “I don’t need this either…”

And with that he closes the door behind himself and leaves Mark naked in his living room.

Until a tear drops into his cheek  

***

It’s been over 15 hours since Matt last left Mark’s house. He lies down in his bed, trying to think things out in his head. Should he crawl back? Should he run after Matt? Should be promise Matt everything even if that was exactly what Matt didn’t want.

Should he just accept the goddman offer?

Even in his head, sounded wrong.

Mark was doing the best he could and still, it seemed like it wasn’t enough. He hears the doorbell ring but he just turns in his bed, sighing into his pillow. Whoever it is, should go away soon.

He picks up the phone and calls in the familiar ring, it only takes a couple of seconds to pick it up

“Yo, what’s up?” Audrey smiles into the line 

“Where are you? What are you doing?”

“I’m sorry” Audrey laughs “I wasn’t aware this was an interview”

Mark chuckles and shakes his head “I’m sorry”

“Don’t be, honey. I’m grabbing some lunch, why?”

“Have you heard from Matt?” Mark asks

“Last time we talked he was heading to San Diego, why?” Mark can hear Audrey frown at the other end. 

“I… I think I did something stupid, he won’t talk to me…”

“What did you do?” Audrey frowns 

“We just… He asked me to move to Chicago”

 _“Oh”_ Audrey puffs out “Do you want me to check up on him?”

“Would you do that?” Mark raises an eyebrow and she chuckles 

“Of course sweetheart, I know you, I’ll try talking some sense into him…”

“Great” Mark smiles back “That’s why I love you”

“Of course you do”

They talk a bit more before they hang up, it doesn’t take much time after that before the door of his room is open abruptly. Toni stands at the door when Mark looks over to her.

“Oh my God, dad” Toni shakes her head “It’s three in the afternoon, come on!” She whines, opening up the curtains, but Mark just growls, his stub now growing as he runs a hand through his face.

“Why did you ring the doorbell if you had the keys?” Mark whines 

“I wanted to see if you would get up!” Toni protests, grabbing his hand and pulling him out, but she fails miserably “If you are not getting up I just wanted to let you know that Frank and I are staying the weekend over because Jared is going to LA to shoot a commercial and Megan is with Travis, so we decided to come bother you”

“That’s sweet but no thank you” Mark grunts and Toni sighs, crossing both arms across her chest "You're probably tired of me running after you..."

"Come on, don't be stupid" Toni rolls her eyes, a smile on her lips “Where’s Matt?”

“Chicago already”

“Really?” Toni frowns “That was a quick visit, huh?” She laughs and Mark looks down “Hey, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I guess it’ll be”

Toni sighs

“I actually needed to talk to you about something” She breathes out and Mark looks up curiously 

“What is it?” He asks

Toni reaches inside her side purse and pulls out a wooden box, handing it to her father, he takes it cautiously 

“This is your moms…”

“Exactly” Toni nods “Give it a shot sometime...”

She smiles sadly before turning around and leaving without another word.

Mark lets her.

***

Mark sits down on the bench on the backyard of his house, where he and Elise used to sit and talk at night, where they would drink wine and share kisses he would never ever forget. Not even how she tasted like, it was all part of who he was.

The box sits still in his lap, he takes off dust off its top with his hands, but other than that he doesn’t dare to open it, neither to gather his courage to. 

Mark takes out his phone and calls the familiar number, not taking his eyes off the box. He bites his lip as he waites for the other person to pick up. He is already giving up when the line gets on, since it took so much time

 _“Hey”_ Mark whispers into the reciever with a raspy voice “We need to talk”

“Mark this is not a good time” Matt answered at the other end “I… I’ll call you later...”

Matt seemed like he had been crying, Mark immediately picks up the problem “Hey! What’s wrong?” He purrs at his boyfriend

“I… It’s nothing you should know right now…”

“Have you been crying?” He asks worriedly

 _“Mark!”_ Matt snaps at the other end “Not now!”

“Is something wrong at work? Or with Annie?”

“Mark! I- Fuck! I fucking cheated on you, Mark!!!”

There it is

Mark’s walls break inside of him, he can’t help but feel like a real big piece of shit, what did he do wrong?

“Wh- _What_?” He asks quietly

“I… I did something really stupid and… And I don’t deserve forgiveness for this, I…”

“Who was it?” Mark immediately cuts to the chase

Matt breathes in deeply “Audrey”

Mark shakes his head and a tear scapes his eyes _“Why?”_ He asks empty handed, the jewelry box now by his side on the bench “How could you two do this to me?!?”

Matt sighs, he can feel Mark’s pain on the other side “It wasn’t on purpose”

“She’s my best friend, Matt! And-”

“I know, I am so so so sorry” Matt sniffles and Mark can notice he’s holding himself to not cry as well “I… I felt really bad because I needed to tell you and… At the same time I wish you would understand, I wish… I wish I could snap my fingers and make everything right”

“Understand what, Matthew?” Mark asks “A wish is what you can come up with?”

“You…” Matt whispers “You know that’s not the only thing I wish I could fix, right?”

Mark sighs and he’s now full blown crying, why does these things only happen to him, he lost love to an accident, to cancer, and now he’s losing to infidelity. And he hates himself for it. 

“Mark!” Matt calls him “You don’t understand! I do not want to leave you!”

“No! You don’t understand!” Mark shouts back as well “I lost Tom! I lost Elise! Now I’m losing you and Audrey at the same time!!!” He shakes his head to himself “It’s not fair!”

“I know it’s not” Matt tells him “I am really fucking sorry”

Mark shakes his head “I… I need time, I need time more than ever”

“Okay…” Matt sighs “I… I guess I’ll let you be now”

“Yeah” Mark cleans his tears and nods silently at the phone “Please”

“Alright” Matt says “ _I love you_ , Mark” He then breaks out “ _Please_ remember that”

And with that, Matt hangs up. Mark just simply looks at the box again and turns away from it, letting his tears continue to come out. 

***

 

The next day, Frank and Toni are still around as they sit in the floor of the living room, eating pizza straight from the box when Mark walks out of his room.

“Hey dad” Toni smiles at him before turning her attention to the TV again 

“What are you guys watching?” He wonders before flopping down on Frank’s side, taking a slice of pizza as well 

“Gilmore Girls” Frank answers, his mouth full

“We always watch Gilmore Girls” Toni sighs, clearly annoyed while Frank seems to be having the time of his life watching the mother/daughter combo on the big screen. 

“Hey! It’s a classic!”

“Hey” Mark pokes his elbow on Frank’s arm, looking at the show and bringing down his slice after a bite “Which of Rory’s boyfriends you like best?” 

“Jess” Frank smiles, turning a bit red. Toni smiles out of adorableness “There is just something hot about the bad boy in the black leather jacket and reading sultry books”

Mark laughs “I like Dean”

“What?” Toni laughs 

“No one likes Dean!” Frank protests 

“What? He’s cute, I guess” Mark shrugs “He does shitty things and keeps putting guilt on Rory but there is just something about the boy on the market down the street” He laughs and shakes his head. 

Frank chuckles as well, Mark grabs another slice before another one of Paris’s fits starts.

“Come on” Mark starts with his mouth full “You guys can tell me why you’re really here”

Toni sighs “Audrey called” She tells him and Mark’s eyes change expressions as he looks at his daughter staring back at him “She told me everything” 

 _“Oh”_ Mark nods “I see”

Toni nods and shifts to wrap an arm around her dad’s shoulder “Everything’s gonna be fine, we are going to figure things out, okay?”

Mark smiles sadly at her “I hope we will” He adds before kissing the top of her hair. 

***

It’s 4am when Mark wakes up disoriented on his bed, he looks around, shifts in his bed, but then he notices he’s not going to sleep anytime soon. He tries, but it is just useless. The whole thing with Matt and Audrey still burns on his mind, but honestly, he doesn't blame himself for feeling like shit.

Mark gets up, deciding to go grab a glass of water; he walks out of his room and drags his feet to the kitchen, Mark flicks on the lights and squints his eyes at the sudden brightness, he rubs them with the back of his hand and looks around, making his way to the fridge.

He stops midway through, noticing there was something on top of the dinner table, it was his old cassette player he gave Toni a few years before on her birthday. He frowns, wondering why she would have left it here, and then he notices the jewelry box right by its side.

Mark frowns, he wonders if Toni has set this up for him, that was the only logical explanation. Mark frowns and sits on the table and hesitantly opens up the box, noticing the cassette tapes inside. He frowns and takes a look at the three of them, seeing different names scribbled on their labels, including his own. 

Mark takes the tape off its case, placing it on the cassette player and putting the headphones on. He thinks about it a few times and sighs before pressing play, throwing caution to the wind.

The audio starts with a rustling noise, as if it were sheets, he hears a crackling noise and frowns to himself, trying to think what was going on.

 _“It’s recording”_ He hears Tom say, and Mark’s heart speeds up on his chest _“You can start”_ Mark waits until his own voice starts speaking, but he is cut by another one.

 _“Actually, Tom”_ Mark then hears the other voice Tom was talking to, it wasn’t his and it was much more soft and mellow, with a hint of a light accent to it. Mark’s heart is not beating fast anymore, it’s exploding, he suddenly knows he has just signed up for crying fest. There isn’t a day that goes by that Mark doesn’t think about that voice, and he starts crying on spot, just for hearing it after so long _“I kind of need you to not be here for this one…”_ Mark hears Elise say, and he tries to calm his heart down

“Why not?” Tom asks, his voice the same as ever

 _“Because this one is too personal, honey”_ Elise says _“Just leave the recording machine here and I’ll turn it off, you don’t need to care about this one. I got it”_ She says in the weakest voice ever and Mark cleans the tear that is already rolling down his cheek _“Go outside, grab a snack and come back in like half an hour…”_

 _“Hm, sure”_ Tom says _“Be careful, okay?”_ Mark hears the sound of a kiss _“Just press the button to call the nurse if you start feeling bad, I’ll be here outside watching you, okay?”_ He continues _“You know Mark will kill me if I leave you alone…”_ He says and Mark laughs

 _“Of course I do”_ Elise giggles

 _“Mark, if you’re hearing this, know that I never left her alone for this okay? Just a heads up”_ Tom adds and Mark smiles, shaking his head, remembering how protective of Elise he was towards the end, and not even then, always, since she was his best friend too.

Elise laughs and Mark cries again, just for hearing her laugh, the sweetest of all. He hears the door of the room closing and a sigh coming from his wife.

 _“Hey sweetheart”_ She tells him and Mark starts sobbing, pulling on the sleeve of his plain black t-shirt _“I hope you’re doing fine”_ Elise says and Mark shakes his head _“Okay, so, here’s the deal”_ She starts again _“Tom had this idea about a week ago, to record tapes of things I want the people I love to know. The idea came from Elise, because…”_ Elise stops, and Mark can hear the pain in her voice, both emotional and physical _“Because we know there’s things she won’t want to hear from me right now, so I figured there will be a day, when she’s older, that she will understand what is happening right now. As well as for the boys"_

Mark giggles, cleaning another tear with the back of his hand

 _“This is your tape, so… Yeah...”_ Elise says awkwardly _“I just wanted to tell you how much I love you, Mark”_ She says and he can hear her smiling at the end _“You have no fucking clue of how much I love you, you bastard”_ She says crying  _“I know that maybe our relationship wasn’t ideal, but we did well for twelve years of marriage, right?”_ She asks _“I wanted to tell you, that I love you, because I know there’s people out there who will spend their entire lives without telling their other half how much they love them and honestly, I cannot imagine bigger pain…”_ She says, her voice still full of tears _“I don’t know if I’m the love of your life, but I know that you love me, I know you love me as much as I love you, because I know there is a lot of love inside of you, and I trust you when you say I’m your everything”_

Mark nods, she really was his everything, for someone to have diverted his attention from Tom in anytime during his youth, it was because it was real. Mark knows, Elise will always be the love of his life.

_“At this point I’m at the hospital and honestly, I don’t think I have that much time left. I wish I could go home, but I don’t want to leave from a place you and the kids will have to be at for God knows how long… I wish you guys could move out of town, go live somewhere else, and I know you don’t like San Diego that much, but I don’t think that’s an option for so soon…”_

_“I don’t know what the future holds, but I know the kids will be fine. You are an amazing dad and the kids have amazing grandparents and there’s Tom…”_ Elise says with a chuckle _“I know they will be okay, with whatever future they decide to follow, you know? Even Elise, I understand she’s stubborn, and I hope she learns to use it on her favor. I don’t feel bad for her not wanting to come see me, she knows I’m invincible, she knows I’ll be okay”_ She says and Mark sighs _“I did the same thing to my grandpa when he passed away”_ Mark hears the cracking in her voice, the crying with it _“And I know how she will feel in a few years… I just hope it makes her stronger”_

 _“But anyway”_ She continues after a quick pause _“I can’t help but to wonder what is gonna happen to you, you know?”_ Elise pauses _“Will you date anyone a month after? Will you never find anyone?”_ She wonders and takes a deep breath _“I actually don’t plan for you to listen to this so soon, I asked Tom to leave this in the basement and just wait til you guys find it on your own… So I wonder it must be 2012 or 2013, when you listen to this?”_

“Wow” Mark chuckles “It’s way past 2013” He says and shakes his head

 _“I want you to be happy, Mark”_ Elise continues _“I want you to be happy because I was happy, I am happy, besides the crappy situation, I really am”_

 _“People look at me and think I threw my life away when I started dating you, you know? You were this injured college dropout that was trying to make it as a writer and worked at a bookstore to just make amends as you still lived with your parents, I don’t blame them, honestly”_ Mark hears her laughing and he joins her, cleaning another tear _“But if I went back to the past, I would do it again, I would not hold myself from falling for you”_

_“Others think I threw it out when we accidentally got pregnant of Joe, but honestly, I wouldn’t trade my son for anything, I wouldn’t trade my marriage to you for anything and I wouldn’t trade the family we have for anything. People think it stopped me from making my dreams come true, but I was twenty-one when Joe was born. I was already a year away from finishing college, and I’m so glad we had help and means that still made me finish school and follow the career that I wanted so bad”_

_“My biggest fear was always to die and not have done the things I wanted. I wanted someone to live my life with, which I did found. I wanted a best friend, which I also found. I wanted kids and my dream job as an engineer and a physician. The only thing I won’t live up to is seeing my kids having their lives and being happy on their own, I won’t live up to finish my job, but I had everything else, you know? If I had waited for things to settle on their own, none of this would have ever happened. I would be dying unacomplished”_

_“I don’t want you to feel the same way, Mark”_ Elise says, her voice still breaking _“I don’t want you to be fifty and look back and wonder if there was anything you could’ve done differently, and I know that even now, you already have those thoughts about college and the kids and your band with Tom, you know?”_

 _“Mark…”_ Elise starts _“I know”_ She adds _“I know about you and Tom, and how you dated before you met me”_

Mark stops and lifts up his head, his jaw dropping and his heart beating in his ribcage like a roaring lion.

 _“I feel hurt sometimes that you’ve never told me”_ She explains _“But I figure you thought It was best since Tom and I are really close… Mark, I just… Tom knows I know, and we have talked about this over the years and I trust both of you and I know, nothing has ever happened since, I know, and I have no doubts about this”_

 _“You might not in love with him right now, but you do love him,”_ Elise says simply _“And Mark, I want you to know, it’s okay. Honey, it’s okay that you love him”_

Mark starts sobbing, he hasn’t seen this coming, he never thought in his wildest dreams he would ever hear those words. He wants to pause, but he doesn’t dare to, he knows he won’t have the strength to resume this later, so he just takes a deep breath and goes on

 _“I don’t know what is going to happen, but Tom is happily engaged to Elliott right now, and I don’t think that’s going to change anytime soon…”_ She says, her voice cracking and sad, and Mark knows she is crying _“I just want you and him to be happy… Even if it is together. And I don’t know if neither of you are going to be with someone else when you find this, or if you’re going to be together. Heck, you could’ve even been together and broken up at this point…”_

 _“I just want you to know that if you have him, tell him you love him, every day, just like you did to me, and remember I will always love both of you”_ She says _“And if you’re not, I just have one thing to say: Don't let go of him anyway, you just go and tell him everything, tell him that you love him the way you do, because trust me Mark”_ Elise sighs _“Tom loves you to the moon and back, Tom will wait for you like snow on the eve of spring. Even if he tries to act like it’s not the case… Tom will always be open to you, and he will wait forever for you, maybe his entire life”. ”_

Mark laughs between his sobs, it’s like she knows exactly what is going on, she knows exactly what haunts him, even when he never said anything to her

 _“I guess that’s all”_ Elise finishes _“I love you, Mark, I love you and the kids more than anything I’ve ever loved…”_ She sighs _“I… I’ll turn off now, bye. I love you so much, Mark. Never forget that”_ Silence _“Bye”_ She adds again with one last sob, and the tape finishes.

Mark brings down his headphones and starts sobbing even more, he never thought any of this would ever happen. Mark keeps on sobbing for some solid twenty minutes before he gets up, he goes upstairs and up to Toni’s bedroom, opening the door, seeing her and Frank sleeping in her twin bed, snuggled up on each other under the sheets, just like they did when they first started dating and Frank would sneak out of his house and onto theirs, Mark smiles sadly and sniffles, Toni opens her eyes and looks at Mark

 _“Dad?”_ She asks confused, voice groggy from sleep. She gets up from the bed careful to not wake up Frank and starts walking towards him “What are you doing? Is everything okay?”

“I just listened to the tape” Mark breaks out and Toni takes a deep breath, she looks back at Frank, who doesn’t seem to be bothered at all from his sleep and she follows her dad into the hallway, closing the door behind her.

 _“What did she say?”_ Toni whispers to him

Mark shakes his head “That she loved me, that I was the love of her life, that she had no regrets and…”

“And what?” Toni asks nervously

“And that I should go after Tom” Mark says simply and Toni looks at him paralyzed

_“What?”_

“You heard me right” Mark explains “She didn’t say anything like ‘Go after a nice person you like’ or ‘Follow your heart…’. She told me in bold words to go after Tom, because he would be waiting for me no matter what. She knew it all along, Toni!” Mark says and breaks down into ugly sobbing again and Toni pulls him into a hug, listening to her dad cry

“She told me she was proud of me, you know?” Toni tells him when Mark’s crying starts receding, now Toni dropping tears of her own “And that I should never turn my back to you, because we don’t know what the future holds and that she gets scared for you, that you won’t be able to live alone…” She pulls back from the hug, looking into her dad’s blue eyes “I am so sorry I moved away!” She cries “I shouldn’t… I…”

“Honey!” Mark stops her “This isn’t your fault!” He chuckles “You would’ve moved out anyway for college… I… I’m the one who’s sorry actually, I’m sorry I said you didn’t care about me, I was being overdramatic…”

“It’s okay” Toni says cleaning her tears

“I…” Mark breathed in deeply “I have something I need you to do...”

“Okay” Toni nods “What is it?”

“I need you to drive me somewhere” He says and heads down the stairs, going for the front door, Toni frowns but follows him without any questions. She is wearing only her pajama pants and one of Frank’s shirts that are too loose for both of them, Mark takes his car keys out from the side table by the door and throws them at her, who picks them off guard 

“Come on, you’re not gonna keep us waiting, are you?” He asks before opening the door and heading outside. 


	37. July 8th-10th, 2018

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello anyone! I actually have NO idea how long has it been since I posted the last chapter, but things have been kind of hazy and awkward in my life right now, and I'm shying further and further away from the platforms I am in, I think this is a point where I'm getting (finally?) done with fanfiction in my life - at least on writing it. 
> 
> I plan to finish posting both Chasing Hearts and Mon Giuseppe, I just need a little more patience on correcting them (They're already both finished). 
> 
> Both these stories mean a ton lot to me so I hope you all enjoy <3 
> 
> And thanks for sticking around for those who did

Tom throws the stick further away to Sally, her tail wiggling as she crawls between the bushes to pick it up and bring it back to her faithful master. Hank is standing by Tom’s side, watching Sally run around his backyard with a joint on his hand.

“Hey, you wanna go grab a movie or something?” Tom asks casually, he takes the stick and throws it away even further, over the fence. Sally jumps over it and into the neighbor’s lawn.

“Why?” Hank frowns, blowing the smoke out through his nose

“So maybe we can do something else besides play with Sally and smoke weed all day long, how about that?” Tom counterbacks a bit annoyed “I’m going, if you don’t want to, you don’t need to…”

Hank sighs and looks away, he then stares at Tom from the corner of his eye “Your phone is ringing, you know that, right?”

“What?” Tom asks confused

“Your phone...” Hank points to his pants, and that’s when Tom feels his phone vibrating on his pocket

 _“Oh”_ He reaches into his pants to pulls it out, he looks at the screen and frowns “It’s George…” Tom voices confused

“Just answer it, jackass” Hank breathes out, letting out his smoke.

Tom sighs and unlocks the screen, placing the phone on his ear as he sees Sally running back towards him “Hello, Tom speaking…” He says and Hank makes a face while imitating him mockingly, Tom slaps him on the arm 

 _"Ouch!"_ Hank whines while rubbing the spot

“Hey Thomas!” George pipes up excited at the other end “How is my favorite fiction writer doing?”

Tom frowns “Okay, I guess” He shrugs as he and Hank exchange looks “Hank is here”

“Good, I wanted to talk to the two of you” George says “Put me on speaker phone”

Tom presses the button on his phone and places it on the table, gesturing for Hank to sit across from him. The tiny bald man in yellow overalls sits without questions. 

“Okay, so, how excited are we for the book coming out in two weeks?”

“Pretty damn excited” Hank laughs, scratching the back of his head 

“Good to hear, boys...” George smiles at the other end “Really good news, so, Tom?”

“Yes” Tom answers 

“Do you want to come over sometime so we can talk about the contract?” 

“Sure, hm, that would be great actually...” Tom smiles “I’ll come by in a couple of days”

“Great. How is your writing going?”

“Good, I’m doing fine with it, it’s still pretty slow but I hope to catch up soon”

“Awesome, need anything you can just call me, alright?”

“Sure. Thanks George” Tom smiles, placing both hands between his legs shyly

“And Hank, have Tom bring some of the sweets when he comes over, alright? Bye boys”

 _“Bye!”_ Both Tom and Hank answer back in unision. Hank groans loudly as soon as the call ends. 

 _“Come on!”_ Tom claps his hands “To work!”

 _“Shut up”_ Hank spits at him and Tom laughs “I am glad at least he doesn’t pay me just for that”

“Oh yeah, you mean the part where you have to babysit me?” Tom raises an eyebrow and leans back on his chair, Sally coming back and dropping the stick on his lap

Hank groans again before going around the house to the tiny door that leads to the basement, locked at seven keys. Tom pets his girl before throwing the toy again. 

Tom hears someone clapping by the front of the house, he frowns, knowing that clapping way too well. Tom rolls his eyes annoyed and gets up, following the sound by the corner of the house and going to the front yard, seeing a bland-colored hair man standing by the fence, wearing a tidy light-blue polo. Tom sighs before walking up to him. 

“What are you doing here?” Tom asks to the man while annoyed 

“I… I needed to talk to you, Tom! I am really sorry, I don’t know what I did! Please give me an explanation, please forgive me!” The man begs, placing both hands together

“John, what did I tell you the last time we spoke?” Tom asks from behind the fence, not getting close to neither it or the man. 

The man across from him just shook, rubbing both his arms “Tom, please! I know I can do better, I just…”

 _“No!”_ Tom laughs, turning to the man “Dude, John, I don’t want to see you anymore! I don’t want you coming over and I don’t want you begging for me! Is that too hard to understand? I am not playing a sweet card, I really don’t like you, and me using you is just going to fuck up your head…”

“Why not?!?” The man asked perplexed

“Do I need to give you a reason? Really?” Tom asks annoyed, John does not batter an eyelash as he looks at Tom, not waiting for that answer “Okay, I’ll give you some. You are annoying, you are married with kids, and you are considerably younger than I am…” Tom lists using his fingers “And honestly, I don’t like you! How many times do I have to say that?!?” Tom shakes his head again “You are falling for me and it’s gonna ruin you, if you needed some journey to find yourself, I helped you get there. If you’re now confused about your marriage, I don’t want any part on that...”

John blinks at the older man’s words “I… I really li-"

“Don’t tell me you like me” Tom tells him, turning back to the backyard “Spare yourself. I’m not playing games here, I do not want my heart to be won over by you, I made up my mind”

John takes a breath; he seems a bit hesitant before he leaves. Tom keeps on walking towards the backyard again, this time he goes inside the house and grabs a beer from the kitchen, going back to the porch where Sally was waiting for him, lying by his seat. Tom leans down and pets her ears with a smile on his face before chugging on his beer, he grabs his phone, turning on something on his newly made Spotify playlist. 

Hank soons comes back from the basement, the pockets of his overalls filled up with _stuff_  “What was that?” He asks as he takes his seat again across from Tom 

“Who do you think it was?” Tom asks taking another sip from his beer 

 _“John?”_ Hank wonders and Tom quickly nods “ _Goddamnit,_ when will he leave us alone? Why did you date that fucking prick?”

“He will probably just let it be now” Tom nods 

“Tom, we’ve been living together for a year, I already know all your moods...” Hanks laughs as he takes Tom’s beer away, taking a gulp himself before returning it “Today is _“I’m a cold hearted bitch and I don’t need no man holding me back”_ “ 

Tom laughs and shakes his head, taking another chug from his drink "That sounds accurate”

“Thank God you broke up with him, I honestly couldn’t stand him anymore” Hank sighs

“I guess he thinks I love him”

“I guess he thinks all that bullshit you write about love is for him...” Hank pipes in a whisper, Tom chuckles 

“He can only dream” He shakes his head before looking into the distance, wishing for a long lost feeling.

 

***

“Ok, so how is the new intern doing?” Tom asks as he starts to peel a banana.

“He’s good, not nearly as good as Jared but he’s okay, I guess” Matt shrugs “Are you really eating a banana during our meeting?” He asks with a frowns and Tom looks directly at him on the Skype page 

“Hey! I have no strings attatched to this!” He protests with his mouth full “You just have to remember Jared was a once in a lifetime finding...”

“Too bad Toni is the one who has him now”

“I know, that evil little teenager” Tom sighs dramatically

“You think she can give him back to us” Matt asks and Tom shakes his head

“Let her have him, you know? It’s his choice at the end of the day” Tom adds with his mouth full “You can hire another intern if may be, we have the budget after all”

“Yeah, we do” Matt sighs “And having another extra hand to help with the movies wouldn’t be such a bad idea”

“Okay, you think we should hire a cinema student or another marketing one?” Tom asks

“I’ll talk to Kaitlyn, see if she needs anything... Though I heard Peter and David talking the other day, I think they would like someone who knows a bit of design around here…” Matt explains

“Alright, look at applications for Computer Design students who know something about movie editing or that at least feel interested by it, try posting about it on the blog and then we can review the applications altogether when they’re in”

“Sounds like a good plan” Matt writes something down on his notepad quickly “I’ll do that as soon as we’re done here...”

“Great” Tom smiles

"Hey, just wanted to remind you, David sent a few of your things on the mail the other day, just letting you know"

"Oh awesome" I nod “So, how are things with you and David?”

“What about me and David?” Matt asks as he scribbles something down, not looking up at Tom 

“You know,” Tom shrugs “Is everything okay in paradise?”

“Sure” Matt frowns as he looks back at the screen “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“I don’t know, the two of you are not working together anymore and I bet he gets busy at the coffee shop and you get busy too while at the office, that’s all…”

“You know we still live together right?” Matt laughs “I still see him everyday, you know? Sometimes after work I drive the Jipe back to the coffee shop and help him close the store, but other than that we also watch movies together and there’s tiny feuds about who is gonna clean Julio’s litter box, so, you know… It’s all the same old thing...”

“Good” 

“Why are you asking that?”

“Just wanted to make sure” Tom says 

 _“Okaaaaay...”_ Matt shrugs “Weirdo”

***

Tom sits patiently at the kitchen, typing the words into the computer and looking at his notebook every now and then, he reaches out and takes a sip from his mug of coffee, taking a content sigh when he brings it down and lets the warmth from the coffee tickle his face.

“What do you want for dinner?” Hank asks as he storms into the kitchen uninvited, Tom looks up from his cup annoyed “I was thinking about doing ramen with eggs the way you like, you know?” He suggests while grabbing a pan from the cabinet

“Don’t you have food at _your_  home?” Tom asks bringing the cup down, looking at the younger man slightly annoyed

“I have bread and beer, I’ll go to the market tomorrow, don’t worry” Hank shrugs and turns on the stove “You wanna smoke one?”

“Dude, stop with all the smoke, I need to work” Tom laughs, still typing into the computer

***

Hank knocks on Tom's door. Tom knowingly opens the door and sighs "Hank, I-" He starts but cuts himself short when he sees the big box on his porch. 

Hank lifts an eyebrow for him "Signed it for you" He explains and shoves the box into the living room, Tom makes way for him as he further opens the door "Were you expecting this?"

"Hm yeah" Tom frowns "Matt said he was sending something in the mail, I guess this is it"

Hank takes a look at the label and nods "Yup. California"

"Great" Tom smiles at his friend and co-worker and moves to sit on the couch, fixing the fisher's hat on his head and paying attention to his crosswords. Hank stood awkwardly in the middle of the room "You can go now" Tom voices out without looking up, pointing his pen at the door. 

"No! Come on!" Hank whines, grabbing Tom's hand and pulling him up again, the older man looks back clearly annoyed "I wanna know what's inside!"

"There's nothing much, Hank. Probably just clothes and books, don't fuss about it..."

"But-"

"Do you really want to open it?" Tom asks and Hank nods "Then knock yourself out, buddy" He sighs and sits back down on the couch. 

 _"Yay!"_ Hank claps his hands and looks for a knife in the kicthen, coming back quickly and ripping the box open. "Let's see what you got" Hank smiles excitedly, pulling out a few shirts, some hats, throwing them at the couch by Tom's side 

"Hey! Haven't seen this one in ages! I didn't know I had left it there..." He smiles as he picks a baseball cap up, he doesn't really wear them much anymore, preferring other types of headwear, but he is quick to throw his fisher's into the pile and putting the old favorite in his head. 

Hank pulls out a few books, some CDs, and finally a big thing underneath "What is this?" Hank asks "Looks pretty"

"What?" Tom asks without looking up as Hank's fingers run over the bubble wrap, Tom hears him tearing it apart and Hank smiles 

"Wow, dude, never knew you were a fan of plastic arts" 

"What?" Tom laughs and Hank pulls out a canvas from inside the box, showing the pink and lavander drawing to the older man, who suddenly turns very pale. 

"This is beautiful, dude" Hank smiles as he keeps on showing Tom the painting he bought of Mark many moons ago, he gets up, walking closer to Hank and holding it in his hands 

"Oh my God" He sighs as he smiles at the painting "I didn't even remember this, it's..." Tom takes in a deep breath "It's just been so long"

"Who is it?" Hank asks as he looks at the painting again by Tom's side, but he doesn't get ay answers "Is it _him_?" Hank asks carefully.

Tom slowly starts to nod 

"That looks really great"

"His boyfriend painted him" Tom whispers quietly "I had David buy it for me"

Hank smiles sadly, looking at his friend again "What are you doing with it?"

"Hiding it away from myself" Tom adds sadly, trying not to remember how he and Mark haven't talked in over a year. 

***

Hank is sitting across from Tom on the table, going through the papers he just printed, scribbing something into them, sometimes throwing whole pages away. Tom just grows frustrated by each second 

“Stop throwing away my shit!” Tom yells as Hank crumbles another page in a ball “I took time and work writing those...” 

“Tom, you are just adding up useless information in these pages. I told you to go straight to the point and not stall your readers, right?” He asks and Tom nods “This isn’t getting my attention at all, they are going to get bored and drop out the book and not read it again”

Tom sighs  _“I hate you”_ He complains in a whisper

“You’re welcome. I am just doing my job!” Hank pats his back as he scrbbles one last thing and hands the whole thing back to Tom “Now think about those and fix them. I am going to go to the garden”

“Can I go too?” Tom asks with hopeful eyes, Hank takes just one good look at Tom’s face, who is forcing out an exagerated smile at Hank 

“No” Hank smiles before leaving Tom to break his head into his writing again

***

Tom walks out of the house in his overalls Hank had gotten him, which were itchy and he didn’t really like much, but they were dark blue and looked hella fashionable. Hank sighs pleased when he sees Tom coming over to help him with his gardening after Tom had a meeting with Matt at Strange Times via Skype. 

The weather was hot, he wanted to complain somehow, but it wasn’t too much different than San Diego, the city where Tom had lived his entire life. He hisses under the sun and kneels down by Hank’s side, ready to help by grabbing a hoe, but Hank stops him 

 _”What?!?”_ Tom whines “What do you want me to get now?”

”Gloves” Hank points out, showing Tom his green ones, "Yours are on the back porch" 

 _”Come on!”_ Tom grunts, wanting to garden already "Let me _playyyy_!"

“Go!” Hank tells him sternly “Gardening is no play. You don’t want to accidently get something or cut a finger”

"I'm not gonna cut my finger" 

"I wasn't talking about _your_ finger" Hank raises an eyebrow as he drops a plant into its hole, Tom puts his tongue in cheek. 

"I hate you" He huffs again before getting up and walking around the house and towards the back. Sally was chewing on her bone and she growls at Tom when he comes closer, she doesn’t want him to take it away from her. “Calm down, girl” Tom laughs as he looks for his gloves which are nowhere to be seen _“Hank!”_ Tom yells “They’re not here!”

 _“Check your laundry room!”_ Hank shouts back and Tom rolls his eyes before going inside the house, noting his shoes and the knees on his overalls were already dirty with mud. He sighs before going to the laundry room, where he doesn’t seem to find it either 

 _“Fuck,_ Hank, where did you hide it?” Tom asks to himself before he hears Sally barking outside, though the sound now seems to come from the front lawn, instead of the back porch where she was before “I hope she eats your face off” Tom talks about Hank even if he can’t hear it. 

 _“TOM!”_ He starts to hear Hank yelling _“TOM! COME HERE! NOW!”_

Tom rolls his eyes and decides to ignore Hank. He goes over folded laundry, finding his gloves under one of Hank’s set of overalls. “There you are!” Tom smiles excited as he starts to put them on, now walking towards the front lawn again, exiting the front door. 

 _“TOM!”_ The man shouts again, and suddenly the front door of the house opens and Tom walks out. He is staring at his own hands, still tall as ever, a fisherman’s cap on his head, and a denim overall on top of a white shirt along with black boots, a look that was completely new to him.

The white shirt is already dirty and sweaty, along with the knees of the overalls, the tattoos on his left arm shining white from the sunscreen. “I found the gloves! They were in the laundry room…” Tom says casually with a chuckle as he reaches out to grab the broom that is standing on the porch, without looking into the garden “What were you screaming so desperately abo-”  
  
Tom stops on his tracks when he sees Hank’s back facing him, and Mark’s pained smile in the lawn, Sally happily wiggling her tail by the older man’s side.  
  
Tom drops the broom on the floor and stumbles onto the stairs that lead to the garden, walking up to what might as well just be a mirage  
  
“What…?” Tom starts as he stops about three feet away from Mark. His heart is beating wildly in his ribcage. He has had dreams about this moment, he has thought this out, and not in wildest dreams he expected to see Mark at that time and place, even more when he was bathed in dirt “What… How? Doing here?” He says and closes his eyes, punishing himself for being so awkward and stupid.  
  
“I’m here” Mark laughs, he steps a little closer to Tom, but doesn’t dare to touch him “I… I came here from across the world, you know?” Mark reaches out and places both hands on Tom’s arms, urging him to do something.

Tom stares at him in desbelief, a smile slowly forming on his face, Mark still has his soft hair, slightly spiked, his black shirts and the octopus tattoo Tom loved so much. 

“Are you upset?” Mark asks quietly and Tom shakes his head.

“I’m so…” Tom starts and Mark sees his eyes prickling with tears “I’m just so happy” He says and Mark smiles

Tom smiles back and he pulls Mark close into a hug, pressing the older man’s face into his chest, knowing he will not let go so soon, leaving a kiss on top of Mark’s hair

“So so happy” Tom whispers overwhelmed as his lips still lay on his hair. 


	38. July 11th, 2018

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Everyone! I'm planning to finish posting this by the end of March if things go all according to my plan

Tom looks into his own coffee mug, staring at the strong black coffee inside, as if its darkness was staring right into him, into his soul. Tom blinks a couple of times, he knows he stinks and that he smells like dirt and sweat right now, though he wishes he rather not. Mark is doing the same by his side, the older man sighs as he looks into his own cup as well.

“How was the flight?” Tom asks all of the sudden, trying to break the ice; Mark looks up “You seem tired”

“It was good” Mark shrugs “Long, hence the tired, but good I guess…”

Tom nods “So… You know when you’re going back home?”

“In exactly a week” Mark sighs and Tom nods once again “I’m sorry for coming over unannounced” He says with an apologetic smile, but Tom only grins at him and shakes his head

“Mark, this is the best surprise ever, okay?” He smiles and Mark laughs before yawning, “You’re tired, maybe you should get some sleep…”

“Maybe” Mark grunts “You have anything to eat?”

“Actually, how about you go to the bathroom, take a shower, go to sleep and I’ll go get groceries… I promise you I will wake you up when dinner is ready, how about that?”

“Sounds good” Mark nods as the two of them stand “You have a guest room? Cause I can sleep on the couch if you don’t…”

“Actually...” Tom starts as he scratches the back of his head “My guest room is a bit of a mess right now, so I was thinking you could go sleep in my room and you can take your shower there and when I get back I will make the room ready for you, is that okay?”

“Hm sure” Mark agrees as Tom leads him to his own room. They walk in and Tom goes for the closet, taking out a clean towel as Mark drops his duffel bag on the floor. He hands the towel to Mark “Aren’t you gonna take a shower too?” Mark asks and Tom notices his clothes are dirty with mud

“Oh” he says as he looks down at his own body, noticing why Mark asked it “I will take a shower at Hank’s bathroom upstairs…” Tom explains and Mark nods “I will wake you up when the food is ready, okay?”

“Sure, yeah” Mark smiles, Tom smiles back and leaves the room, leaving his best friend alone. He goes out of the house and heads upstairs, going into Hank’s apartment and opening the door to the bathroom without knocking

“Stop doing crosswords and let me use the bathroom, please?” Tom breaks out as he places his clean clothes on the counter

“How did you know I wasn’t naked?!?” Hank protests as he sits fully clothed at the closed toilet lid

“The shower wasn’t running, and if you were pooping, you’d be grunting”

“You don’t know that!”

“Oh yes I do” Tom laughs, “I know how you like to do crosswords in here…”

“Why don’t you use your own bathroom?” Hank asks as he leaves his crosswords on the counter, getting up and walking outside

“Because Mark is using it, and I’m going out to get groceries while he takes a nap downstairs…” Tom explains, unbuttoning his overalls “You need anything from the market?”

“Nothing worth buying so soon” Hank shrugs “I’m gonna go back to the garden then”

“Okay” Tom nods as he closes the door, getting himself ready for his shower

***

Tom walks down the aisle, pushing out his kart and thinking about what to make Mark to eat. The man had just been on a twelve-hour flight, and not exactly in first-class, he must be starving and exhausted.

In the end, he agrees on making Spaghetti with Alfredo sauce, which was a safe bet, when he was grabbing the sauce bottle from the shelf, he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket from a FaceTime call, noticing it was Toni.

“Hey kiddo!” Tom smiles as he answers it, looking at her in the screen and waving excitedly at him, Megan flips him off from behind her but she doesn’t seem to notice. 

“Heyyy…” Toni starts out slowly “Are you mad at me?”

“A little” Tom proceeds to push his kart again “But there is a romantic touch to it, I get that. I was hoping you were the one to come!”

“I’m sorry; You know I didn’t have the time!” She whines playfully, walking around the apartment “I know I should’ve sent him to Disney World, I…”

 _“Toni!_ ” Tom laughs “It’s okay, I swear, your dad and I are going to have a lot of fun, okay? Just relax; it’s going to be six days of fun and no sex!”

“I see” Toni says to herself

“Hey!”

“Hey, whatever gets you through the night, man!” Toni gestures her free hand around as she fixes her dark green hair behind her ear “How is Hank dealing with it?”

“He’s still shocked, but he’ll survive” Tom shrugs “And knowing him the way I do he’ll probably act just like you did…”

“What do you mean?” Toni frowns

“Toni, you know…” Tom rolls his eyes “Trying to fix us up and shit,” He laughs “Not going to happen this time though, I don’t understand how Matt let your father come like this…”

Toni takes a deep breath “Tom, they broke up”

“What?” Tom asks confused “They did?”

“Yes” Toni nods “And don’t you say shit about Matt, at least he trusted dad”

“I’m not judging anyone!” Tom protests, pointing at his own chest “Why did you send your father then?”

“Because!” Toni whines, “He was sad and moping and bothering Frank and I all the time and… And some stuff happened this past week; he will tell you when he’s ready…”

“Okay” Tom nods

“So, what are the two of you doing tonight?”

“I figured I could make food for us and I’ll let him sleep, get the jet leg fixed, you know?”

Toni nods “Is that chicken?” She frowns when she sees Tom picking something from the refrigirator

“Hm, yes”

“Dad’s vegetarian now, you should really put that away”

“He is _WHAT_?” Tom asks with a shout, lucky for him no one around seems to care about it _“Freaking unbelievable”_ He grunts as he puts the chicken away “I hate your dad”

“Yeah, what a terrible person, not killing animals” Toni jokes

“You know what I mean” Tom sighs “Don’t tell me you’re going in on that too?”

“Only when Frank’s ready”

“Really?” Tom asks shocked, but not surprised “Is there anything else you need to tell me? Did you join the church of satan? A belly ring?”

Toni laughs 

“I’m not joking, I don’t trust that boyfriend of his”

“Are you implying he’s friends with the devil?”

“Well, I didn’t say anything…”

Toni sighs “Thank you for doing this for him though…” Toni smiles “I should go now”

“See you”

“See ya!” Toni waves at him and he smiles sadly before she hangs up.

Oh how he misses that kid

***

Hank grabs the wooden spoon and places it into the sauce; Tom makes way for him as he puts some on his hand, licking it off his own palm.

“Hm, tastes good!” Hank exclaims with his thick Australian accent “Always another good cooking session with you” He says as he fist bumps Tom

“I’m glad” Tom smiles and laughs “I’m gonna go wake up sleeping beauty, can you set the dishes while I’m gone?” He asks and Hank nods

“Sure” Hank says and Tom walks inside, going towards his room.

Tom opens the door and immediately closes it behind himself, Mark is sleeping in his bed, snuggled up into himself under the sheets. Tom smiles, placing both his hands into his jeans’ pockets, tucking the sleeves of his black long sleeved shirt –which he was wearing under a white short-sleeved one- into it

Tom slowly walks over and lifts the cover, taking a hold of Mark’s foot, which was covered with a sock, Mark raises his head and lifts up his foot, hitting Tom on the face

“Fuck, Mark!” Tom yells, placing a hand on his chin “You _KICKED_ me!!!”

“Oh my God!” Mark jumps from bed, rushing closer to Tom, putting both hands on his face “I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to, I…”

“It HURTS!”

“I’m sorry!” Mark laughs

“Food is ready,” Tom whines while still rubbing his chin.

 _“Oh”_ Mark says sitting up, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand “For how long have I slept?”

“About four hours, I guess” Tom shrugs “But your room is ready and now we can eat, are you hungry?”

“I’m starving!” Mark chuckles as he tries to get up. Tom smiles and shows him the way to the kitchen. They both walk in as Hank is finishing setting the juice jar on the table

“What is that?” Mark asks curiously, looking into the jar

“Peach” Hank smiles “I got them fresh from the garden in the backyard this morning” He says and Mark’s jaw drops

“You made this yourself?” He asks surprised and Hank nods

“Yeah, I did” Hank smiles “You want some?”

“Sure, I do!” Mark says as he sits by the table and hands Hank his glass, to which the younger man pours some “So, Hank” Mark says as Hank sits by his side on the table, “I noticed you like gardening…”

“Yeah, I do” Hank says, grabbing his pasta “I have been into it since I was a kid…”

“Hank actually does the gardening of the neighborhood, he’s really good at his job,” Tom adds “He’s also my dealer,” Tom says with his mouth full as he sits across from Mark on the table. Mark chokes on his bread roll 

“He is your what?” He asks as he tries to gather his breathing again. Both Tom and Hank laugh, looking at each other, having done the act other times before apparently. 

“That he also does for entire neighborhood” Tom keeps on laughing

“You can’t be serious…” Mark shakes his head

“You make it sound like I sell weed on Facebook” Hank protests

“You won’t believe the types of people Hank has sold weed to” Tom laughs

“I am still having a hard time believing you live with a drug dealer!” Mark frowns and Tom shakes his head

“People trust Hank” Tom adds “I mean, isn’t he lovable?” He asks and Mark looks over to Hank, who gives Mark an exaggerated smile when their eyes meet, his eyelashes battering like a fairy’s. Mark only laughs and then looks over to Tom, their eyes meet as well, but soon they divert again.

“I guess you plant the weed in your garden?” Mark asks “Oh my God, what is going on?” Hank laughs and nods

“You got it big guy” Hank winks at him and Mark shakes his head “Actually, it’s all in the basement”

“The basement?” Mark raises an eyebrow and Hank nods 

“Yeah”

“So…” Mark starts again, trying to change the subject “How did you two meet?”

“Well, my parents used to own this house, they passed away, and I inherited it. Even if the furniture is old and a bit rusty, I can get by” Hank explains “But what I did is that I added a set of stairs outside, so I basically transformed the second floor into an apartment, and I usually rent the first floor…”

“So now I’m renting it” Tom pipes in with a smile “And Hank is helping me write my book”

“Yeah, and I’m a published author, but I haven’t exactly written anything in ages” Hank rolls his eyes “I am being hired by the publisher to help Tom. It’s actually a plus that Tom and I are good friends…”

Mark sighs relieved, he smiles and looks around the vintage kitchen “It really is a nice house, I have to admit”

“Thanks” Hank smiles back

They proceed to talk until dinner is over, Tom takes out the dishes and places them into the sink, Hank gets up and yawns as he stretches himself. “Well” He starts “Tonight is Tom’s night to wash the dishes so I’m gonna go upstairs to sleep, alright?”

“No, I can wash the dishes” Mark gets up as well, but Hank stops him “Don’t worry about it”

“No! You’re his guest, I won’t let you do that” Hank interrupts and Tom laughs, Mark looks over to his friend and makes a face, Mark smiles at Tom’s silliness and looks down at Hank

“Alright I won’t wash any dishes” Mark lifts up his hand “I swear”

“Good” Hank nods and leaves through the backdoor “See you both tomorrow”

“See ya!” Tom and Mark both wave Hank goodbye as he leaves

“So” Mark starts as he gets closer to Tom, placing the dishes he has done with on the rack after drying them out with a towel he picks up from the counter, Tom shakes his head “Are you doing anything tomorrow?” He asks and Tom shrugs “Can we hang out?”

“Mark” Tom laughs, “You notice that all I do is write, right?” He asks and Mark just stares at him “I’ll have all the time in the world for you while I’m here, okay?”

“Really?” Mark asks with a smile and Tom nods

“Of course” He scoffs and then smiles again, looking over to Mark “I am so happy that you’re here, I can’t pass this up”

“So… What are we doing tomorrow then?” Mark asks as he dries his hand into a towel nearby when they are finished. Then he hands it over to Tom

“We can go to the city!” Tom smiles “I can take you to the Opera House and see all the sights, and you know what? I might even have a surprise for you while we’re there…”

“Really?!?” Mark asks excitedly

“Yes” Tom nods, smiling as well “You should probably get some sleep though, because I know I need to get some, so…”

“Hm, sure” Mark says, suddenly changing moods “You’re going to bed?”

“I’m tired” Tom adds while yawning “Come, I’ll show you your room” He walks away from the kitchen and into the hallway, where he opens the door where a bookcase and a bed stand “That is your bed, and I changed the sheets while you were sleeping so feel comfortable, okay?” Tom asks and Mark nods

“Sure” He says, feeling a little bit awkward

“Your bag is over there already,” Tom points to the side of the door, where Mark’s stuff were at “Are you okay?” Tom asks concernedly

“Yeah sure” Mark smiles, trying to shrug it off, that he was expecting Tom to stay up with him, catching up, while they threw conversation away, just like the old days. If he just wanted to go to bed, he would have stayed at home “I’m alright”

“I’ll wake you up for breakfast so try to get some sleep, okay?” Tom looks at Mark patiently “I know you just woke up like an hour ago but tomorrow is gonna be a busy day for us, alright?” Tom asks again and Mark smiles a little, feeling better

“Yeah, that sounds good” He smiles and nods

“Good!” Tom says “Does it make you feel better we’re spending the entire day together tomorrow?”

“It does” Mark nods, noticing how he did not have to say anything for Tom to know what was wrong “It really does,” He nods once again and Tom smiles

“Goodnight, Marky” Tom closes the door

“Goodnight, Tommy” Mark whispers to himself

***

“So” Tom hears a sigh coming from the man across from him on the table. His boss, George, had a full blown copy of Tom’s book ready in his hand, the first one of many “Do you want to see it?” He asks Tom as his eyes widen “Fresh out of the oven!”

Tom reaches towards him and takes the book away from George’s hand, the man laughs and lets Tom take it. The harcover book had the drawing of a ghost seemingly chasing a boy, it had amazing color, shading and art to it, his name on the top. Tom stared at it impressed.

“Gosh!” Tom smiles big “It’s beautiful!”

“You can take a better look when you get home to see if everything is okay…”

He nods “I sure will!” Tom smiles 

“I needed to talk to you about something else though” George goes on

“What is it?” 

“You plan on writing a sequel? Or at least another novel?”

Tom breathes in, he smiles and nods 

“You have anything ready?” George raises an eyebrow and Tom nods 

“Yeah! Hm, Hank and I have been working on it for the past couple of weeks, it’s still pretty rough at this point, but we are agreeing on most of it, so…”

“Good” George smiles “And where is my candy?”

Tom sighs “That’s all I’m good for? Books and candy?”

“Pretty much” George laughs and Tom reaches into his bag, pulling out a box of chocolates and handing it to his boss. George quickly takes it, opens the box, pulls out the ziplocks filled up with grass and gives the box back to Tom “I don’t know why you go the extra trouble for me” George shakes the weed in front of his face before throwing it on his drawer. Tom sighs and puts the box back with his book inside the bag. “Who is the fine gentleman you brought with you today, huh?” George asks a bit more interested, placing both elbows on the table and putting his chin on top of his hands, wiggling his eyebrows knowingly

“Just my friend, he’s visiting from San Diego” Tom answers quickly 

“Is he a friend, or a _friend_?” George laughs 

“You don’t want to know” Tom rolls his eyes and gets up, George rolls with his wheelchair from behind the table, leading Tom to the door. 

“Oh no!” George stops “Don’t tell me it’s _him_?”

"He has a name, you know?" Tom counters a little peeved "First Hank and now you too?"

“Is he the one guy you never really got over?”

“I have tons of those, please elaborate” 

“You know” George grins “ _The one_ ”

Tom whines “How do you even know about that?!?” 

“Dealers aren’t always secretive” George laughs and Tom grows pissed

“I fucking hate Hank” He grunts before leaving the room. He starts walking down the hallway before the door opens again with the automatic motion

“Hey!” George yells and Tom stops halfway through, looking back and raising an eyebrow again “Aren’t you going to introduce me?” He asks rolling closer to Tom. The older man grunts again and motions for George to come, who smiles happily about Tom’s reaction. 

“Mark?” Tom calls him as soon as they come back to the waiting room. Mark was looking into his phone when they came in. He looks up and smiles 

“Hey, you’re back!” Mark grins back “I thought you were dead”

Tom gives him an obviously fake laugh “ _Ha Ha_ very funny” He rolls his eyes “Yeah, hm, that’s Mark, Mark this is George, basically he’s my boss” Tom says and Mark shakes George’s hand “George, this is… Mark”

“Tom used to brag a lot about being the boss at Strange Times, I’m glad the tables have turned now” Mark winks at George and Tom gives him a mean look when his boss laughs

“Thank you for telling me that!” George smiles “So… Tom has told me you came in to spend the week, huh?” He says and Mark nods

“Yeah, I’ll be back home soon” Mark nods

“He also tells me you’re a writer as well!”

“I never told you that!” Tom protests

“Shut up, Tom” George smiles at him and Tom can only roll his eyes, he honestly could never get mad at George. 

“Yeah, hm…” Mark laughs “I write movies and let’s just leave it at that” He adds as he remembers he hasn't told Tom he got fired yet. 

There were a lot of things Tom didn't know yet

“Alright” George nods “How do you like Sydney so far?”

“It’s amazing!” Mark answers excitedly “I love it!”

“Oh, Tom! You should take him to Newcastle tomorrow; you guys could take the train!”

“That actually sounds really nice!” Mark nods, looking over at Tom “We’ll have plenty of time to come to Sydney again!”

“Sound good, I mean, we can check the train times when we get back home, how about that?” Tom asks and Mark nods

“I like that plan!” He smiles

“Okay, I’m gonna let you guys go enjoy the rest of your day, alright? It was a pleasure meeting you, Mark” George waves at him and Mark smiles

“Thank you George!” George nods at Tom before going back inside, Tom turns to Mark again and smiles, wrapping an arm around his friend

“I’m sorry it took so long,” Tom explains and Mark shrugs

“It’s okay, gave me time to renew my energies after the amazing city tour we just had…”

“I’m glad to hear, but are you ready for your surprise now?” Tom asks and Mark gasps excitedly, clapping his hands together like a little kid

“Yes! Please!” He whines and Tom smiles

“Okay, so, I’ll take you there now”

“Good!” Mark smiles again; Tom can only smile back at it as they get into Hank’s blue pick-up truck, which had been borrowed to them for the day. Tom starts the engine and drives off, Mark stares out the window, as usual, and gasps when Tom parks his car, noticing what was outside

 _“Oh my God!”_ He squeals as he gets out of the car “You brought me to the aquarium!”

“Yeah! It should be fun, I thought you might like it,” Tom says and Mark smiles

“I love it! Come on! Let’s go in!” Mark unconsciously takes Tom’s hand, Tom takes a deep breath but does not say anything. They walk up to it and buy the tickets and suddenly Mark feels like a kid again. He smiles big when he walks in and sees jellyfish, Tom doesn’t dare to say anything as Mark and another teenager who is hanging by herself at the area starts showing each other the pictures they have taken amusedly.

Tom walks up to him and pokes Mark on the shoulder “Hey, Tom!” He looks back smiling “Look at this one!” Mark points at one of the jellyfish, “It is so small!”

“Yeah, that is pretty cool” Tom smiles back at Mark admiring the tank “I’m gonna get some ice cream, you want some too?”

“Sure” Mark smiles and Tom nods, leaving away to food court. He buys two vanilla cones and walks back to where he left Mark, who is now looking at the tank with a few other kids who seem to be in a school trip “Thanks” Mark laughs when Tom hands him his ice cream and one of the kids say that the jellyfish would like some toothpaste.

They start walking further into the aquarium again, people come by them all the time and Tom seems a little peeved by it, until he sees Mark all smiles, then he smiles along as well.

“Oh, I got a text!” Mark pulls his phone from his pocket, “It’s from Toni!” He smiles brightly

“How is she?” Tom asks, “Blink were going to release the music yesterday, weren’t they?”

“Today actually” Mark corrects him “She said she would call me when it’s out but until then we’re just casually talking” He explains and looks at Tom “They are all really excited about it”

“I know” Tom smiles “I am pretty excited myself too, she hasn’t let me hear anything yet,” He pouts and Mark laughs

“You’ll hear it soon enough, my friend”

“How is she by the way?” Tom asks “I mean, we’ve been talking but you’ve seen her more than I did…” He shrugs

“She’s good, she and Frank are happy, the whole band living together has not been a fiasco yet” Mark laughs, suddenly turning more serious “She is growing up to be a fine person” 

“Well, she’s your kid...”

“Yeah…” Mark smiles and nods “Can I ask you something?” He asks as he goes on eating his ice cream

“Sure” Tom shrugs

“How old is Hank?”

Tom stops to think for a while “He’s 32, I think. Why?”

“I don’t know” Mark shrugs “He just seems too young for you”

“Wait” Tom laughs, stopping at his track, Mark stops as well and looks back at him “You think Hank and I are dating?” He asks and Mark shrugs shyly

“Well, I…”

“Mark, Hank and I are only roommates, and well, co-workers almost, and… client and dealer” Tom laughs as they start walking again “And honestly, I think he’s asexual”

“You think he’s ace?” Mark asks and Tom nods “How come?”

“Because he never brings anyone over and when he does it’s always this one guy and they just smoke weed and make out but they never go any further, you know? Plus, he’s given a few hints and told me about it a couple of times, but he’s never looked at me and said _‘Hey Tom, I’m ace’_ ” Tom explains “Plus, he’s a big jerk-head, I can exclusively say it since I live right under him and to be honest, I think it makes him uncomfortable or something so I don’t try to get it out of him, I just let it flow”

“I bet he appreciates that, Tom” Mark smiles and nods

“I just leave hints that I support him, you know?” Tom keeps on walking, putting both hands inside his jeans pockets “How is Matt?” Tom takes a deep breath before asking; Mark nibbles on his ice cream a little and looks at it while answering

“I…” He starts and sighs, “I don’t want to talk about Matt”

Tom nods “It’s okay. Did you guys fight or something? I just wonder why you’re here when we haven’t talked in so long, that’s all…”

“The two of us broke up anyway”

"Really?" Tom raises an eyebrow and Mark nods, not looking at him “Shit, I’m sorry” He whispers

Toni really wasn't kidding

“Don’t be” Mark sighs “How is Strange Times? Toni told me you left Matt in charge of it”

“Yes, I did” Tom smiles proudly “He’s doing great, and I still write and make videos for them sometimes, so I still get to participate a lot, you know?”

“Yeah, I saw it” Mark beams “Matt is really into it” He nods to himself “It was even weird at times…” He laughs and shakes his head. “What about David? How is he doing?”

“Good, good” Tom nods “He opened his coffee shop almost a year ago”

“I went there with Toni and Frank a few times, it is a really nice place” Mark smiles, “He’s done a great job!”

“I’m glad to hear” Tom smiles back “Hey; you wanna go see the Octopuses’ now?” He asks and Mark nods

“Of course I do!” He shrieks as the two of them finish their ice creams and they head out, Mark eyes them fascinated as one of the staff members passes by them while holding a pro camera

“Hey, mate!” She comments as she comes over towards Mark's direction, engaging with him “Your tattoo is really neat!” She smiles with her thick accent and Mark smiles back, he loves when people talk about his tattoo

“Thanks!” He smirks as he proceeds to show it off to her 

“Would you want to take a picture with Rocky?” She asks Mark and he frowns “Our octopus!” She then smiles excitedly, pointing at the eight-legged creature behind them

“Yes! Oh my God! Sure!” He smiles big and the lady tells him where to stand after they look out for Rocky, she takes lots of pictures of Mark and Tom smiles excitedly as he watches his friend having so much fun.

“What is your email address? I can send them if you want…” She tells him when they are done, “We’re also taking pictures for our new website so we’ll probably contact you to use some, and these are really good! Your tattoo is beautiful!”

“Thank you!” Mark smiles “Sure, you can have, I just… I just don’t have anywhere to write it…” Mark looks into his pockets

“It’s okay” Tom steps in, handing her a card that he took out of his wallet “Just send it to me and I’ll give it to him”

“Awesome!” The girl smiles brightly “Would you two like for me to take a few pictures of you two together?”

Mark and Tom exchange looks and both of them shrug “Sure” Tom nods at her. They look out for Rocky again and take a couple of pictures while standing in front of him, then Tom points at him, as if he was poking the octopuses head, and Mark joined him by pretending to be choked by his tentacles. It gave them some good laughs and the girl smiles at them when she is done

“The two of you are so funny!” She smiles big and so does they

“Thank you” Tom smiles “We try,” He jokes and Mark laughs along. She smiles as she leaves and the two of them wave her off.

“Thank you so much for bringing me here” Mark smiles as he turns back to Tom, who looks at him confused

“Mark, you don’t need to thank me for anything” Tom shakes his head “Your presence is greater than that, alright?” He asks and Mark gives him a light punch on the arm

“I am repaying you for all of this someday” Mark smiles as Tom wraps an arm around him

“Not until I take you to the Melbourne aquarium, which is like, so much better than here…” Tom explains with a smile “But that’s probably gonna be for another time you come, I guess…” He adds sadly, they look at each other, and Tom takes a deep breath “Do you think you’ll come here again?”

“I…” Mark starts, his eyes fixated on Tom’s “I don’t think I will so soon, but I hope to come with Toni or Paul the next time…” He explains and Tom nods

“That would be nice”

“Yes it would” Mark adds quietly as he stands there paralyzed, his eyes fi- Until his phone starts ringing “Oh my God!” He exclaims, “It’s Toni!”

Mark shrieks as he picks up, looking at Tom who was curiously waiting for a feedback

 _“You did?”_ Mark asks as he smiles big “Honey! I am so proud of you!” He laughs, “Tom and I will listen to it when we’re on our way home, alright? Good!”

“Let me talk to her!” Tom whines

“Wait a sec, I have a fan who is begging to talk to you,” Mark says as he hands Tom the phone

“Hey! Am I allowed to listen to it now?” Tom asks in a jokingly manner and Toni gives him a fake laugh

“Hahaha, very funny” She tells him “I think you should wait until the next time you have sex with your mom, but we both know that shouldn’t be long” She says and he laughs

“I miss you, kid. Congratulations!!!”

“Thanks, Tom” She smiles back

“Is anyone else there?”

“Just Jared, Megan and Frank went out to buy groceries for Trav, we’re having this huge party at his house tonight,” Toni explains

“You’re celebrating the release of the album?” Tom asks as he sees Mark getting distracted by Rocky again, he steps back a little, giving him and Toni a little more privacy

“Not only that, actually” She tells him “Trav is going to play music again”

“Really?!?” Tom asks, “Wow, it has been a long time since he retired…”

“A little birdie made him change his mind” Toni laughs,

“I’m gonna call him sometime and wish him the best luck”

“Please do that, he’ll appreciate support…”

“I know” Tom smiles “So… We’re going to listen to it on the car when we go back home and I’m telling everyone about it and lots and lots of people will listen to it” Tom says and she smiles big

“Thank you so much, Tom! It means a lot,” She says and he smiles

“For I will do anything, kid” Tom smiles “I have to go now, okay? We’ll talk later”

“Bye Tom” She says

“Bye, kid” Tom says as he hangs up, he walks up to Mark hands him his phone back “Thank you for letting me talk to her”

“It’s okay” Mark smiles back before they continue to look at other things.


	39. July 24th, 2018

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one more chapter after this one...

_“You are a lucky man,” The cab driver told Mark “I heard that O’Hare just closed due to the weather, you should thank God you arrived in time!”_

_“I guess” Mark smiles from the passenger seat, staring out the window as the snow fell around the car, he tugs on his beanie and fixes the scarf around his neck_

_“I noticed you don’t have anything with you…” the driver pointed out_

_“Yeah, I… I just brought my phone and my wallet; this was sort of urgent” Mark nods “Sounds insane but… But I really needed to do this”_

_“Well, it’s meant to be then” The cab driver smiles_

_“It is,” He nods as they arrive at the address given by Mark_

_“Here you go” The man breathes out as he pulls into the curb “Gonna head home for the wife and kids now”_

_“Merry Christmas” Mark smiles as he hands the man some cash_

_Oh yeah, and it was Christmas for some reason_

_Mark steps out of the cab after the man wishes him a merry Christmas back and drives off. Mark feels the snow soaking his shoes and smiles at the surburban house of Chicago standing in front of him. He feels butterflies in his stomach as he walks up to the front door and rings the doorbell, impatiently waiting._

_He hears a kid laugh and someone opens the door, Mark smiles when he sees Matt staring at him confused, he frowns and looks around_

_“Mark?” Matt asks as he walks out into the snow, somehow bearing the cold without a jacket, but Mark does not care about that “What are you doing here?”_

_Mark does not answer him; he just takes a deep breath and lunges onto Matt, giving him a breathtaking kiss. Matt holds onto him as Mark smiles when he pulls back placing their foreheads together and thinking about the snow falling around them_

_“I love you, Matt. Please let’s try to work this out?”_

_“Yes! Please Mark! That’s all I wanted to hear!” Matt says “But unfortunately, I have other business to take care of” Matt sighs and suddenly a horse steps in front of him and Mark frowns “I have been called onto war in France, I hope you’re still here waiting for me when I come back, even if I die from dysentery of rotten food in the trenches…”_

_“What?” Mark asks confused while Matt climbs on the horse_

_“If I die, tell my daughter she gets to keep the house” Matt tells Mark before storming out into the street and Mark just stares confused until he hears something behind him, he turns around he a man starts limping towards him and he can also hear a scream and a few people running_

_“ZOMBIE APOCALIPSE” Someone shouts and Mark screams when the man starts pulling on his arm_

He jolts up and shoves the covers off himself; he looks around and tries to convince himself it was just a dream… It was just a dream Mark…

Mark looks around the room and notices he is in Tom’s guest room  _“Fuck”_  He curses himself and gets up, he is wearing a dark blue shirt and gray boxers, he just picks up his pair of khaki’s from the floor and rushes out the room as he tries to put them on. Tom sees him as he walks back from the outside while Hank is watching Netflix on the couch

“Hey, good morning sunshine!” Tom smiles when he sees Mark “How did you sleep?”

“Just leave me alone” Mark grunts and leaves the house, without taking keys or anything, just his phone.

“What was that?” Tom asks Hank confused

“I have no fucking clue” Hank shakes his head

***

Mark feels awkward without a hoodie wrapped around him at a time like this, it is Australia and it is winter, and it is chilly as well, but he honestly just stormed out so fast he barely had time to register what he was doing.  

This is a weakness moment and he knows it when he pulls his phone out from his back pocket, pressing onto the familiar number on the dial, he waits a little until it is answered

“Mark?” The other voices picks up immediately "Oh my God! I haven't heard from you in ages! I've been talking to Pau-"

 _"Fuck. You!"_  Mark suddenly breaks out, hissing his teeth. 

There is only a breathing on the other side "Mark, I am so sor-"

"You broke my heart! I cannot believe I trusted you!" Mark screams in the middle of the street as he starts feeling his face wet and hot "How could you do this?"

"I don't know what to tell you, Mark" Matt whispers to him "I... I feel very confused lately"

"That's not an excuse!"

"Mark, please let's just resolve this between you and me, I don't hav-" Matt sighs again "I... I think I like her"

"Wait... What?" Mark asks breathless, he stops pacing midway though, frowning before collecting himself to sit down at the street curb 

"I... I have feelings for Audrey, Mark. This isn't just..." Matt breathes in one more time "I'm sorry I'm being shitty to you, but I have to tell you the truth. You know I love you, right? She loves you too, Mark. And... She's avoiding me because... Because she doesn't want me to hurt you, she doesn't want to do that herself... I- I'm sorry"

"Does" Mark starts as he cleans his tears away, which is useless because more of them are immediately dropped again "Does she like you?"

"I don't think so" Mark can hear the pout in Matt's voice

"Well" Mark breathes in "Doesn't make me less mad at the two of you"

"I understand" Matt sighs "You have every right to"

"I... I miss you so much" Mark suddenly breaks out "I wish I could be with you right now, I... I actually wish everything was okay so I could be with you right now..."

"I wish I could be with you too" Mark hears Matt starting to cry, and his heart immediately starts to break again "I'm so sorry"

"I..." Mark then starts to talk again, very shyly "I really think we should talk... For real... Sometime"

"Really?" Mark hears a hint of a smile on Matt's voice 

"Yeah" Mark bites his lip, cleaning his tears away 

"That sounds nice"

"It does" Mark nods to himself "It does"

"Okay, so..." Matt continues "I guess this is goodbye"

"For now"

"For now" Mark can hear Matt's smile again "Bye"

"Bye" Mark whispers before he hears Matt hanging up, he sighs and flicks a peeble on the road with his right hand, watching it roll away up the street, until it stops by a pair of Timberlands. 

Mark's eyes follow up the pair of skinny legs attatched to a pair of green shorts that show off knees and leg hair, looking up to Hank staring at him concernedly from under his glasses. "Are you okay?" The tiny man raises an eyebrow

"I guess" Mark quickly cleans his tears away and proceeds to look down, Hank moves to sit by his side and Mark appriciates the gesture to keep him company. 

"Tom asked me to come after you, we were actually both scared you might get lost or something" Hank explained 

"Why didn't he come though?" Mark asks, because he could actually use a hug from Tom right now, he doesn't look up from the ground again. 

"He just said he knew what this was about" Hank nods, Mark nods as well 

"Yeah" He adds sadly, knowing Tom would know this way too damn well

***

Frank wakes up to Toni making breakfast in the kitchen, he sits on the stool that separates both and admires her sweetly “Someone woke up in a good mood today” Toni laughs and leans over the bar to give Frank a peck on the lips. Megan grunts as she grabs herself a mug of coffee

“What happened?” Frank asks his sister as Toni wraps an arm around her boyfriend 

“Jared is fucking snoring again” The girl whines “I hate sharing a bedroom with a boy, I fucking swear” 

“You know he only snores when he drinks” Toni points out 

“Yeah, why are the two of you so perky when we are so hangover after the party last night?”

“Because we’re people who stand by the word of the lord” Frank jokes and Megan shows her tongue to her brother 

“You don’t know how to have fun” Megan whines “Jared and I have the party room”

“And we have the sex room, how about that?” Frank raises an eyebrow and Megan grunts

“I don’t know what is worse, the two of you being mad as rabbits or Jared snoring” She rolls her eyes and Toni almost chokes on her eggs 

“Well, at least the party was awesome and now we can say we’re officially musicians” Frank smiles “Trav is happy and so are we. Doesn’t that make you happy too?”

“Boohoo” Megan whines before walking back to her room, closing the door behind herself with a loud bang 

“Megan! Stop closing the door like that” Jared yells from inside, his voice muffled

“Then stop snoring!” She shouts back and both Frank and Toni laugh

“Have you checked twitter today?” Toni asks

“Actually I haven’t had the guts to even look at my phone,” Frank explains

“Me neither” Toni answers nervously “Wait a second” She gets up and takes her phone from the coffee table, bringing it back as she sits again by Frank’s side, she looks at her notifications and frowns “Weird”

“What?” Frank asks

“Look at this message” She shows him his phone

_“Dear Toni Hoppus, you don’t know me, but my name is Adam Hunter, I work with music for a very long time and a few months ago a little birdie told me about Blink’s sort of comeback, I was waiting for music to be released and I was wondering if you’d have some time to chat? Give me a call whenever you’d like”_

Toni looks at him and frowns “Blink’s sort of comeback?” Frank asks confused “We didn’t say anything about the origin of the band’s name… Plus, he is texting you on your personal number…”

“I know, and that name is familiar somehow…” Toni wonders to herself  _“Adam Hunter_ …” She says aloud and a bell rings on her head “Oh my God!” Toni says and gets up, going up to their CD collection by the stereo and the corner where they keep their guitars, she pulls out Cheshire Cat and Frank gets up as well, walking up to her when she opens the case and takes out the folder, looking at the credits “He worked with dad and Tom” She says simply, showing his name to Frank on the brochure

“One of them must be behind this…” Frank points out and Toni sighs, “He sounds very interested, Toni…”

“Frank, Trav and Matt both offered to produce for us and we turned them down because it was too easy,” Toni says, “I thought you wanted to work up your way…”

“I do, Toni” Frank smiles, placing both hands on her shoulders “But this guy, he isn’t family, he is a third party who is genuinely interested in us…” He says and shrugs “And he didn’t say anything about that, he just wants to chat… That’s cool, isn’t it?”

“I guess” Toni says with a smile creeping up her lips, “You think I should give him a call?” She asks shyly

“I do” He nods “But we should talk to Megan and Jared first”

“I agree, can you think we can ask them to meet us up at Trav’s later?”

“Sure” Frank says and gives her a peck on the lips, she smiles into it “I love you, have I said that already this morning?”

“No” She shakes her head

“Well, I love you” Frank says simply, looking into her brown eyes

“I love you too, Frank” She smiles back looking into his.

***

Later that night, Mark was sleeping peacefully under the sheets on his bed, or well, Tom’s guest room’s bed, which technically was Hank’s in the end, probably his parent’s on top of that. He shakes in his sleep and suddenly feels cold, he reaches for the sheet but it is gone.

“What the fuck?” He asks himself, opening his eyes and looking for his blanket, which is when he sees Tom standing red plaid pajama pants and a white shirt in front of him, holding his blanket up to his chest in a ball. Mark frowns to himself “Tom, what are you doing? Give me my blanket back!”

“No” Tom says quickly “Get yourself ready, we’re going out for a drive”

“Tom!” Mark whines, “I have a jet leg! Don’t do this”

“Get up and ready, I’m taking the blanket with me” Tom says and leaves the room. Mark ignores him and tries to go back to sleep, but it is useless now that he is cold. He grumps as he gets up and puts on a pair of caramel khakis over the boxers he was sleeping with, keeping the gray shirt he had on. He puts on flip flops and walks out into the bathroom, he brushes his teeth and washes his face before going to the living room, finding Tom now fully dressed on the couch, wearing a pair of jeans and a black shirt, his hair a mess “Let’s go” He walks out, Mark follows him and gets into the car, noticing it is completely dark outside. Tom starts the engine of Hank’s car and drives away

“What time is it?” Mark asks

“It’s three thirty in the morning,” Tom tells him

“Does Hank know we are taking his car?” 

“Nope” Tom shakes his head

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see soon enough”

Mark takes a deep breath; he looks outside and yawns, before looking back at Tom again “How long haven’t we done this?” Mark asks aloud, shaking his head

Tom smiles “The last time I woke you up in the middle of the night for a drive was about a month before we broke up” He remembers, switching the gear shift “It’s funny to see you remember I used to do this all the time...”

“Except this time you’re the one driving and we don’t have the Cougar,” Mark laughs “Instead we’re using someone else’s car which is funny…” He points out and Tom smiles

“I know”

“So…” Mark starts again “We’re doing the usual?”

Tom nods “Yep”

“You have a place set up or are we just wondering aimlessly?”

Tom smirks and looks over at Mark “I have a place”

“Good” Mark smiles and Tom stares out onto the road again, keeping his focus on his headlights.

It takes about forty minutes for them to get there, it is on the top of a cliff, where you could stare out onto Sydney and watch the lights, you could not see the water or the Opera House, but it was beautiful nonetheless. Mark walks out of the car amazed and wraps his hoodie tighter around himself, since it was indeed a bit cold. He smiles and walks out towards the city, but careful in his steps

“Wow” He says breath-taken “I am sure going to miss this place” He simply voices out and feels Tom reaching up from behind him

“I miss San Diego” He blurs out and Mark scoffs

“No you don’t” Mark scoffs

“I do, Mark” Tom tells him “I love my hometown, unlike you…”

Mark sighs and turns away, walking back to the car and sitting on the hood, Tom lets him and walks up to it as well, but he doesn’t climb, he just leans his back against the front of the car and looks out.

“I miss doing this at home” Tom continues, “I miss doing this with you”

Mark sighs and looks over to Tom “Aren’t you going to sit?” he taps his side and Tom looks back, until he climbs on the hood by Mark’s side, he lies down on the hood and the glass and looks up at the stars, admiring them, like he always did, that was always the main reason they would do the late-night shenenigans. Mark looks over to him and realizes what he meant before. He missed seeing Tom doing that as well.

Mark lies down as well, and looks up, they stay like that for about half and hourcuntil Tom looks over to Mark, who is still awake, looking up and thinking.

“Hey, you didn’t fall asleep” Tom smiles and Mark laughs

“I guess this is all making me anxious right now” Mark says with a deep breath “You know that has kept me up for many nights”

“I know” Tom nods sadly to himself “You wanna talk?”

Mark sighs and sits back up again, he takes a deep breath and Tom sits up as well, he places a hand on his best friend’s back and rubs circles on it, trying to calm down Mark’s slightly hitched breathing.

Tom has learned over the years how to deal with Mark’s anxiety, he could not relate to it as much but he had faced his couple of crises and some depression at times in his life. Mark dealt with a certain amount of anxiety every day and he had his depression from time to time. This was that time.

Tom felt something turn on his stomach and hugged Mark, who took it in with a surprise

“I am so sorry” Tom blurs out “I am so sorry I left you”

Mark takes a deep breath, he places both hands caringly in Tom’s arms “We needed this time, Tom” He says “We needed to grow and find out what we want”

“Did you find what you want?”

“I thought I did” Mark answers “I did grow though” He chuckles a little to himself, staring at his hand “Nothing that another broken heart couldn’t do, you know…”

“How did it end?” Tom asks, sitting straight up again, but an arm still around Mark “If you don’t mind me asking…”

“It… It just died I guess…” Mark shrugs “I was depressed and relied too much on him and… I guess he knew it was over before I did” He says, “I gave too much of myself and we didn’t care enough about each other after a certain point. He wanted commitment I wasn’t able to give him, and neither he could give me” Mark sighs, “It was the broken vase again”

“What?” Tom laughs

“You know, the broken vase theory” Mark explains “That a relationship is like a vase, you can mend the pieces together but it’ll never be the same again…” He says and takes a breath “I did love him though, that’s why we had one in the first place” Mark looks away

“I see” Tom nods “But you’re going to be fine, you’ve been through worse…”

Mark chuckles “Yes I have” He nods “No one better than you to know that”

“Have you thought about getting a job?” Tom wonders

“What job can I get, Tom?” Mark laughs nervously

“I don’t know” Tom shrugs “It doesn’t need to be in San Diego though, have you thought you could work with retail or telemarketing while still writing movies elsewhere? You say you don’t like San Diego but now you can leave…” Tom tells him and Mark thinks for a while “Where did you always want to live in?”

“I don’t know” Mark shrugs “London, I guess,” He says with a smile and Tom’s eyes widen

“Wow, that’s a long shot,” He laughs and Mark nods

“Yeah” He shakes his head "Maybe something a millenial would say" Mark laughs

“You should move to London, you know…” Tom says simply and Mark nods a little to himself “Please think about that?”

“I will” Mark smiles at his friend

“I won’t pressure you right now”

“Thanks”

“You’re welcome,” Tom says and they fall into silence, he rests his head on Mark’s shoulder and Mark leans his head in Tom’s as well

“You know” Mark starts talking again “This doesn’t feel awkward at all” He laughs and shakes his head, Tom raises his head and frowns at his older friend sitting by his side “It feels like my car broke down in front of your house and you offered yourself to help me out through the city…” He says and looks into Tom’s eyes, taking a deep breath “Feels like I’ve never met you and… And yet we know each other so well, it’s meant to be, it feels invincible…” Mark asks, his blue eyes pleading Tom “You know what I mean?”

Tom nods a little “This is insanely different for the two of us”

“And yet so familiar and out of the blue”

"So contradicting" Tom smiles, as Mark stares right between Tom’s eyes and lips. He sighs and gets up after he notices himself lost in them, he shrinks into his hoodie again and walks towards the edge of the cliff again, the wind blowing into his face. 

Tom crosses his arms as he observes his best friend like that, appriciating, amazed. After some ten minutes, he gets up as well and walks closer to Mark, he reaches up from behind, slowly sliding both hands around Mark’s waist. Mark holds in a breath when he feels the gentle touch on his hoodie. He feels an emotion he hasn’t felt before in ages. He recalls it the last time being two christmas ago, on the balcony of Tom’s old bedroom. 

Tom’s front glued up to Mark’s back. He slowly moved in a swing, unconsciously making Mark dance with him. Tom breathes in Mark’s scent from his hair, remembering it and letting it sink, after tonight he probably wouldn’t feel it again in months, and it broke him to pieces. He slides his nose caringly to the shorter man’s neck, moving to his hair back again, he leaves a kiss there as they still swing. Tom swallows dryly and hugs Mark tighter as he now rests his cheek on Mark’s hair, looking out to the distance with him. Mark feels the simple gesture at the edge of his skin. 

“Tom?” Mark calls him, the younger man hums from behind him, still lost on his emotions “What are you doing?” He asks in a broken voice 

“Nothing” Tom whispers on Mark’s ear, he then steps back, as if to move away, regretting to put Mark through that, but Mark holds his hands back, it’s automatic, not letting Tom’s hand move away from his stomach. Tom looks at him surprised even if he can’t see Mark’s face. 

“Don’t go” Mark whispers back, he doesn't turn around “Please”

“Okay” Tom nods in an answer, resuming back to his position and Mark leans back into his embrace. 

They watch the landscape together, it’s a vision of the old days, but this time in a complete different scenery, in a different town, in a different country, a different situation and many, many years foward. 

“Mark?” Tom calls out after some more minutes

“Yeah?” Mark answers back 

“I love you” Tom whispers quietly. He doesn’t expect much, but Mark steps foward and away from him, he turns around and eyes the younger man. There isn’t anger or happiness in his eyes. Maybe shock and pain, but definetly not happiness. 

There is an entire city shining behind him, Tom doesn’t regret anything, he just wants to freeze this moment, where he watched the lights with the love of his life by his side, but he knows, more than anyone, that nothing can last forever. Though he can only try one last time. The truth is out anyway, and Tom knows Mark will always be the hurricane he will never outrun, the finest thing he has ever done in his life. He will die loving Mark, even if he lied to himself every night before going to sleep, tonight he was glad he wasn’t in bed. 

Tom gulps dryly “I mean it”

Mark blinks “Tom” He starts, thinking it out “You haven’t told me that in over twenty-three years” He whispers and Tom nods 

“I know” Tom breathes out “Imagine holding it inside all this time”

Something shoots straight to Mark’s heart. It’s like a glass of wine has filled up inside of him, it’s like a chain has broken lose. Tom was waited years for the right moment, the moment where those three little words wouldn't take an emotional toll on his best friend, and yet, that night was shot in the dark, Tom though it was the best he would ever get. Mark shrugs, feeling his eyes pool up with tears as he feels insanely overwhelmed “What do you want me to say, Tom? Why are you doing this?”

“I’m not expecting anything” Tom whispers “This isn’t going to change anything and I know it” He shakes his head and steps closer, taking Mark’s chin in his finger and admiring every single feature in his face, smiling slightly at the sight. Mark weakly looks to his side, but still lets Tom hold on to him. 

Tom steps in again and brushes their noses together, their eyes interlock. 

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to, okay?” He asks in a whisper and Mark sighs before nodding. Tom’s eyes go light, it hits Mark in the right spot. Next thing he knows Mark gives him a pained smirk and places a hand on the back of Tom’s neck, leaning and pulling him in, pressing both their lips together. Mark sighs brokenly into it and Tom pulls back, but not stepping back. He looks into Mark’s eyes, waiting for a reaction

“So…” Tom starts again quietly

“Yeah…” Mark just stares at him, his eyes pleading again. He leans in again, taking Tom’s bottom lip between his and gently pressing his teeth into it; Tom whines into the kiss and places a second hand on Mark’s hair, caressing the black strings on his fingers, massaging his scalp while he concentrates on licking Mark’s bottom lip, his tongue asking for entrance.

Mark opens up his mouth and Tom goes in, their tongues colliding sweetly, the city lights shine brighter now. Mark pulls back and stares at Tom, his lips pink and sweet. Tom sighs and brings down his hands, placing them on his lap; Mark reaches out his left hand and entwines his octopus on Tom’s hand that is still on his lap. Tom smiles at the scene and sighs

“Maybe we should go now,” He adds quietly and Mark nods

“I agree” Mark says and they both get up and get into the car, driving away.

The ride is silent, as it always is with the two of them. Tom sees the opportunity to take an alternative route back home and he does, going by the beach as the sun rose in the back, letting Mark appriciate the sight as he knew his friend would just stare out the window the entire time. Mark would not let Tom know, but it calmed him, it made him feel safer. 

Until it didn't 

"Tom" Mark calls out, his breathing hitched 

"Yeah?" Tom answers as he keeps looking foward to the road

 

“Please stop the car!” He says urgently as he takes his shoes off and throws them to the backseat. Tom only frowns now as he notices Mark's movements

“What?”

“Please stop the car!” Mark practically shouts when his breathing starts going fast “Please Tom!”

“Mark, are you okay?” Tom asks worriedly and Mark shakes his head

“Please just pull onto the curb!” He shouts again a bit more desperate and Tom commands his wish, getting out of the road and pulling to the side. Mark opens the door of the car and walks out; he steps into the sidewalk and stares out the beach. Tom gets out as well and rushes over to Mark

“Are you having an attack or something?” Tom asks but Mark does not listen to him, suddenly he steps into the sand and starts running towards the end of the beach. Tom then realizes what is happening “Fucking _shit!_ ” He says to himself as he runs after his friend.

Mark keeps on running, and he does not look back when he hears Tom repeatedly calling his name. This is the first time he walks into a beach in twenty-three years and he smiles to himself when he feels the light breeze on his face, the beautifully colored sky in the distance, the sand crawling in between his toes with every impact-filled step he takes in his run, even if part of him is dying inside. Mark starts to reach the water and then he slows his pace, he stares at his bare feet and sees the waves coming, until one of them washes over him, cleansing his feet and soaking them in.

Mark smiles to himself and looks out to the sea. Tom reaches up behind him and starts panting tiredly as he stands by Mark’s side.

“Mark, don’t… Don’t do anything stupid!” Mark shakes his head

“I won’t” Mark grows tense again, noticing his feet are into water.

“You… Are you okay?” Tom asks, but he doesn’t dare to touch Mark, just giving him space

“I… I have to tell you something,” Mark's breathing hitches again

“Okay…” Tom answers confused 

“I… I listened to Elise’s tape” Mark breaks out and Tom takes a while to process it

“What tap… _Oh_!” Tom frowns “You did?!? You found it in the basement?”

“Toni did, actually…” Mark breathes out

“What did she say?”

“First of all, I do hate you for leaving her alone” Mark says desperately, something boiling inside him and Tom gives him a chuckle, but Mark remains serious “She… She said that she loved me” Mark suddenly starts crying, letting the tears drop this time “She loved me and she was glad to spend her life with me and that I was the love of her life, she never wanted this to happen and that she wanted me and her to grow old together and that it was the only thing that was left for her to do while alive, was to never leave my side” Mark breathes out desperately, not bothering about the tears on his face, trying to concentrate on the water by his feet

“And I worry that if she was alive, I would break her heart or something, I… I cannot live with this, Tom. I can’t be okay thinking she would live for me and the kids and I would do something stupid, I…”

“Mark, you wouldn’t” Tom interrupts him

“With you around all the time?!?” Mark asks loudly and Tom stares surprised back at him "You don't think, that, someday, I would look at back at everything that I lost in that accident, my ablety, my passion, my music... You! You don't think I would want that all back someday when the simplest way to get there was you? You don't think I would want more from what I never had?!?"

“I… I did not know you thought about me like that at the time, Mark… I…”

“I didn’t” Mark shakes his head, staring out at the sea “But I know I would eventually, I guess… It happened, didn’t it?” He curses himself inside

Tom nods, staring down at his hands.

“I loved her so much, so so so much, Tom” Mark continues, squeezing his eyes shut “I was a shitty husband and she deserved so much better… I mean, not that I treated her badly or asked too much of her, but I should’ve done more, I should’ve treated her better…” He still has tears in his eyes and sped up breathing, “She was everything to me, and you were such a good friend to her, sometimes I think she’d rather be married to you than to me…”

Tom sighs, looking down at his own hands “Did she say anything else?”

Mark thinks to himself, he remembers what she told him about Tom, but Mark decides to shake his head “No, that was all” he blurs out and sighs.

“Did she say anything about…” Tom starts and Mark looks at him “About the two of us?” 

Mark takes a breath and nods, Tom sighs

“I had to tell her, Mark” Tom shakes his head “She just… She just knew, you know?”

Mark breathes in brokenly “She never told me or asked me anything though, she didn’t trust me”

“Mark, you know that’s not it!” Tom protests “Elise didn’t want to meddle, she respected what we had! She knew it was in the past!”

Mark shakes his head, looking into the distance again, the tears spill again, but he does not even seems bothered to clean them “I don’t want to talk about that…”

"I..." Tom breathes in "I loved her, you know that, right?"

Mark turns around, looking at his best friend, the man that he loved over half of his life, telling him, that not only they were in love with each other this entire time, they were also in love with the same woman. 

"I figured something like that" Mark whispers before turning back to the water, the same blow, less than 24 hours later when Matt told him he was in love with Audrey

Except the magnitude of this was way bigger than that

History repeated itself and he can't help but think he could've yet avoided another heart-break. 

Mark breaks down into the sand, letting himself fall into the water and get his clothes wet. He cleans the tears coming down his face with the sleeve of his shirt, Tom decides to come closer and kneel down by him, caressing his back. 

"Are we gonna talk about how we..." Mark breathes out "How if... Times were different, we could've been happy together"

Tom smiles sadly "We were, Mark" He tells his friend "We were as happy as we could be"

"Do..." Mark starts again "Do you think I should move to London?" 

"Why? Are you scared?" 

"I guess" Mark shrugs “I guess I’m scared I will want to go back to Matt knowing it won’t work out anyhow and I’ll just bother his life. I’m scared of your and Toni’s friendship and that you’ll turn her against me”

“What?” Tom laughs, “That’s ridiculous”

“I know it is!” Mark says, with tears still in his eyes, his breathing growing faster and faster by the second “I was scared you’d come back to America and wreck everything for Matt and I, I get scared that you’re sad and depressed here, I get scared of the sky sometimes”

“Mark, you ha…”

“Sometimes I get scared because I think Toni knows too much, I get scared she’ll leave San Diego, I get scared she and Paul will stop talking to me like Joe has…” Mark takes a deep breath again “I get scared of death” He adds now more quietly “I…” He starts again as he continues to sob “I get scared this water will swallow me whole and take me away and you won’t go into the water to save me this time” He says crying and shaking his head “Sounds silly, but it’s true!”

“You... You should see a therapist, Mark” Tom adds quietly “I’ll pay for it, you haven’t been to one since Elise passed away… I think it’s time again” He says and takes a deep breath, still hearing Mark crying, “You shouldn’t feel like this, this shouldn’t have happened to you and Matt…” Tom tells him “It shouldn’t have ended and it shouldn’t have ended the way it did… He was good to you!”

“Thank you” Mark breathes out “Thank you so much for listening to me”

“It’s nothing” Tom shakes his head and keeps on caressing Mark’s hand “It’s gonna be okay. I promise you, alright?”

Mark nods. The sun has fully rose when they leave.


	40. July 26th, 2018

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really the end, huh?
> 
> Thank you so much for sticking around <3 If you still read this at this point, I hope this story has touched you the way it has touched me, but I'm glad I got to write this story for myself at least.

Mark, Tom and Hank sit in the front porch of the house, laughing at something as Hank pours more tequila on Mark’s shot glass “No, Hank! Come on!” Mark whines as he takes up the glass, swallowing the drink in one go. Hank laughs “I cannot believe it is chill with you guys doing this out here”

“It is sunday night” Tom answers back as Hank pours himself one as well, taking it “People do not fucking care” he laughs and Mark grins when Hank shoves Tom the bottle, pouring the tequila directly into his mouth. 

The three of them had a nice day together, they drove out of town and went around visiting different little shops and farms they could show to Mark, and of course, they drank a lot of wine in the way, they had even gotten Mark a nice bottle for him to take back home. Tom suggested him to share it with his new therapist, Mark just gave him a look but he appriciated the gesture of making fun positively of him being miserable. 

Mark takes his still lit cigarette from the ashtray and takes another drag. Hank plays with the smoke as Mark blows it out. 

“God, I am sure going to miss the two of you” Mark laughs and punches Hank in the arm “Who would think I would ever meet a figure like Hank”

“I should probably ask the same” Tom smiles

“I’ll take it as a compliment” Hank laughs as he gets up, bowing to Mark as a thank you, the two older man laugh in unision “Now I will leave you two be and go to bed”

“Aw! No! Come on!” Mark whines, holding Hank’s hand back “Tonight is the last night I will be here”

“But we will still hang out tomorrow, I promise, okay?”  Hank makes sure and Mark pouts 

“Okaaayyy” The older man whines and Tom giggles. Hank tells them goodnight and moves out from the porch towards the stairs on the side of the house, going up them. Tom gets up as well, stretching his arm in a yawn and Mark points at him “Not you too!”

“Mark, I am super tired!” Tom laughs, scratching his tummy “And we are planning on leaving for town early tomorrow. You should get some sleep too, you do not want to get tired on your last day…”

“I guess you are right” Mark pouts again and Tom nods “I guess I will stay here a little longer and smoke some more...”

“Sure” Tom nods “Goodnight, Mark”

“Goodnight, Tom” Mark sighs before Tom smiles at him and heads back into the house. Mark lights up another cigarette, it sure is cold outside, but he only wraps the hoodie tighter around himself as he focus on taking his drags. 

There he was, sitting on the porch of Tom’s house, alone. He felt the smoke around him burn as he breathed it out. He did mean what he had said before, about not wanting to leave, but a smile starts to play on his lips when he thinks about his apartment in London, or at least near the city, all the writing he would get done from there, his kids visitng him, and him visiting Tom and Hank on summers so they can drink and joke. It is the perfect life in his mind. 

Mark gets up and puts out his cigarette out on the ashtray, he puts his hands inside his hoodie’s pockets and walks inside, carefully closing the door behind himself, walking to the guest room. He sees the door to Tom’s room and walks up to it, knocking on the door carefully. 

“Yeah?” He hears a tired voice from inside, so he opens the door, seeing Tom in an oversized Strange Times shirt as he lied under the comforter of his bed. He smiles at Mark when the older man walks in “Is everything okay?” Tom asks worriedly as he sits up. Mark shakes his head 

“I… I just want to talk to you” Mark whispers “Is that okay?”

“About what?” Tom rubs his eyes with the back of his hand and Mark shrugs 

“Anything”

“Oh, okay” Tom nods, he looks around before patting the empty space on the other side of the bed, indicating for Mark to sit there. He kicks off his shoes by the foot of the bed before climbing on Tom’s side, sitting cross-legged in front of his friend “What is on your mind?”

“I… I am really excited about moving to London” Mark giggles “You think I can get a visa?”

Tom smiles “If you get a job there you definetly can. That is how I am here in the first place”

“That sounds good. I can talk to Matt, see if he knows anything about it” 

“Yeah! It shouldn’t be hard. George was the one who got everything arranged for me” Tom tells him “You know where you want to live?”

“In an apartment, maybe just outside of London”

“You know, you could live in one of those really exotic small places, you know?” Tom suggests “Enjoy the rain and some wine, from there you can go to London whenever you want…”

“That sounds really great too!” Mark smiles and Tom turns to his sidedesk, pulling out his iPad “What are you doing?” Mark wonders 

“We are looking into that now…” Tom laughs “Come on”

Tom opens up a few travelling blogs, he looks up videos on YouTube, placing them on a playlist so Mark can watch them later. They surf and search for about an hour, they already have a list of cities written down when Mark is the one to start yawning. Tom smiles at him, turning off the iPad. 

“I think you should really sleep now” He smiles, Mark’s head is lying on the pillow, he grunts 

“I am not!” He whines, but Tom sees heavy eyelids. 

“You can sleep here if you want” Tom whispers, caressing Mark’s hair away from his face 

“Really?” Mark asks tiredly and Tom giggles before nodding. 

“Sure” He smiles sadly and lies back down under his comforter, throwing it over Mark as well “Goodnight Mark” Tom whispers, turning to his side and away from Mark. He turns off the light on the lamp on his side of the bed, his head falling into the pillow. Mark hums tiredly, he knows that he will be gone in the morning.

He comes closer to Tom, breathing in  “Hey” Mark calls him a whisper, but Tom does not seem to answer. Mark props himself on his elbow and looks at Tom peacefully dreaming away, his eyes calm and serene, his thin lips parted open, the freckles on his face decorating his beautiful cheeks, age marks from the dimples he has on only one side of his chin and cheek when he smiles, the scar from a lip ring he had gotten many moons ago. The boy who always gave too much of himself without Mark, Elise or Toni even asking. 

Mark sighs at the image the loved the most, flash foward twenty years this time. 

He pulls Tom in, leaving a kiss on Tom’s hair carefully to not wake him up. Mark then leans into his ear, brushing hair off it with his octopus. 

“I love you too” He whispers to Tom before turning back to his side, falling asleep on his pillow  

***

Tom wakes up along in bed the next morning, Mark walks out of his bathroom as soon as he sits up on the bed, still the same clothes from the night before. He yawns and Mark smiles at him “Good morning” He says and Tom grins

“Did you sleep well?” Tom asks and Mark nods

“You?”

“Yeah, it was some nice sleep”

“So, what’s the deal today?” Mark asks as he sits on the edge of the bed.

“I thought we could drive to the city with Hank, have lunch and hang out. Then when it’s time for your flight we go drop you at the airport, how does that sound?”

“Sounds good” Mark nods “It’s a plan then”

“It is” Tom smiles before he gets up and walks into the bathroom.

***

“God, I’m full!” Mark grunts as he leans back his chair and Hank laughs at him “I am gonna miss this food”

“You can always come back” Hank shrugs “I bet it’s not the last time you’re going to come here, is it?”

Mark looks at Tom, who is still chewing onto his shrimp “It’s not” He says and smiles at Tom.

“Good to hear that” Tom swallows the shrimp

“I need to go to the bathroom” Mark then gets up “I’ll want dessert when I get back”

“Great!” Hank smiles when he leaves, the shorty man turns to Tom “So, how was the sex last night?” He asks and Tom chokes onto his drink

“What?!”

“I know he slept in your roooooom!” Hank does a quiet sing-along at the end

“I did not sleep with Mark, Hank. We just slept in the same room, that’s all!”

“Did he fall asleep in your arms?”

“Well, he… He did, I guess” Tom shrugs and Hank gives him a look “Don’t look at me like that, he leaves the country in three hours, I can’t do anything! He is going to move to London and he’s gonna be happy and I’ll be happy here and everyone is gonna be happy, okay?”

Hank shrugs, but a smirk plays his lips “Okay, if you say so”

Tom sighs

***

They arrive at the airport and the sulking environment engulfs the three of them. Mark has his duffel bag around him as they walk up to the check-in stand.

“So…” Tom starts as they stand before the line “Are you excited about coming back home to see Toni, she told me Paul and Joe are staying the summer with you?”

“Yeah! I mean, Joe is graduating now so the plan is to have him home until he finds a job or something” Mark smiles as he stares at his passport on his hands “You know how I miss them…”

“Yeah I do” Tom sighs

“I… I don’t want to send you guys away but I think it’s better if you leave now, you know?” Mark laughs a bit too awkwardly “I don’t want to just stand here and try to make myself give up when I say goodbye the most dramatic way possible…”

Tom sighs, “Are you sure?” He asks concerned. Mark slowly looks up into his eyes and nods

“Yeah, I think it’s for the best” He tells Tom, who swallows dryly. Mark says goodbye to Hank and they both hug each other

“I hope we see each other again soon, Mark” Hank says and Mark nods

“I hope so too, Hank” He laughs and then he turns to Tom “You know this isn’t our last goodbye, right?” He asks and Tom shakes his head

“I know it isn’t” The younger man smiles

“So… I guess this is goodbye…”

“Goodbye my friend” Tom pulls Mark into a hug; they embrace each other until Mark pulls away.

Tom and Hank start to walk away, Mark waves at Tom, who shyly waves back as they head out from the airport. They walk back to Hank’s pick-up silently; Tom climbs in the passenger seat and sulks into it as Hank drives away.

“You want to talk about it?” Hank asks as he gets out of the parking lot and away from the airport, but Tom shakes his head “Okay then” Hank sighs and turns back to pay attention to the road. Tom stays silent the entire ride away, the way home is a long one and he knows it, even more when the way out of town is filled up with people trying to go back home after work. Hank sighs annoyed after some time. “This silence is really bothering me” Hank whines “Can we put on some music?” He asks and Tom nods before turning on the radios “Thanks” Hank sighs relieved 

“Sure” Tom answers, throwing his head back. They still drive slowly after about fifteen minutes inbetween traffic before Tom’s phone starts ringing, but he just decides to ignore it. 

“Aren’t you going to answer that?” Hank frowns and Tom sighs, picking up his phone and quickly looking at the screen.

“Hey Dave” He answers tiredly “What’s up?”

David has a hitched breathing at the other end, Tom sits up worried

“David, what is going on? Are you okay?”

_“I… I slept with Matt”_

Tom stops; he frowns and looks over to Hank confused

“You _what_?” He asks more carefully

“I slept with Matt and he’s sleeping in my bedroom and I just fucked up this shit. I mean, now he is going to have to move out, Tom, he is going to move out and I’m going to live by myself again and be miserable and lose my best frien-”

“ _Dave_!” Tom shouts at the other end, his heart beating in his ribcage “Oh my God, don’t just throw this at me, this is huge!” He shakes his head “Matt is not going to leave you! You two have been living together for almost a year and a half now, okay?”

“Living together does not mean sleeping together! But that doesn't matter anymore because I wrecked everything!” David whispers desperately at the other end, “It shouldn’t have gone like this…”

“David, listen to me” Tom starts “You have been crushing on Matt for _ages_! He loves you and you are such a huge part of both of your lives, he is not going to leave you! You are meant to be together!” Tom shakes his head “When he wakes up, you are gonna go up to him and tell him how you feel!”

“Tom!”

“David!” Tom shouts “You are not gonna let Matt go! You cannot! You promise me?”

David sighs at the other end, hitched breathing now slowly calming now “Okay”

“Great” Tom smiles “You can’t let him go, okay? Don’t let him!” He says and Hank looks over to him, now doing a gear change.

“I won’t! Thanks Tom, I gotta go, I think I heard something from the bathroom”

“Great. Tell me later, okay?” 

“Okay” David nods at the other end. Tom smiles and says goodbye to David, he hangs up and places the phone on his lap, staring at it with a smile on his lips. Slowly, he feels the car turning over to the opposite direction they were supposed to and he looks up with a frown “Why are you doing a U turn?” Tom asks Hank

“Didn't you just hear yourself???” Hank shouts

“What about me?” Tom asks confused

“Are you really going to let Mark go?!?” Hank shouts again, “You can’t let that happen, Tom!”

“Hank, no!” Tom yelps, “Turn this car! Mark does not want me to save him!”

“NO!” Hank yells

"This is not about Mark!"

"How is it not? How is this any different from what is happening with David and Matt?" 

“HANK!” Tom barks 

"No, Tom, really? What is it? Years of history? Holding off feelings? Giving up choices for whom you can't have?" Tom's eyes shift around the car “I can’t let you do that, okay? I just can't! You _cannot_ let him leave like this!” Hank hisses at him and Tom turns back to him, not exactly happy “You really think he’s going to move to London and make it be all flowers and happiness?!? He can have his change of scenario here, with you! His best fucking friend!”

“Han-” Tom stops himself, the car goes faster since the way back to the city is not congestioned “Hank, I… I don’t want to have my heart broken!”

“If you do, it’s gonna be great for your novel, you bastard!” Hank now yells with his Australian accent

“Don’t you think you are being just slightly dramatic?” Tom shouts at him as Hank races into the departure lane, he brings the car onto the curb and unlocks Tom’s door

“Me? The failed writer?” Hank asks pointing at his own chest “Of-fucking-course! Now go on!” Hank shoves Tom out of the car “Meet me here in half an hour”

Hank leaves him be and Tom looks around confused, he looks at his watch and notices Mark should be boarding right now.

Tom thinks a little to himself, he gets to the conclusion he does not want to do this. He does not want to sulk into bed for another week; he does not want to meddle into Mark’s plans. He knows now they both want different things, and he respects that, even though he wishes things were not like that.

Tom walks further into the airport, trying to clear out his thoughts. He sees a couple walking by, holding hands and leaning into each other and he sighs to himself. He cannot do this to Mark.

He walks a little bit more, trying to find an empty seat just so he can relax and use twitter while he waits for Hank.

Tom eventually does find an empty seat, and he smiles as he walks closer, but he frowns when his eyes sees the person sitting in one of the chairs by its side. Duffel bag on the floor, knees raised to their chest and black messy hair while the man sniffled.

Tom stops and takes everything in; he slowly walks closer and places himself in front of him. Mark looks up at him, eyes widening when he sees Tom, he has a dark blue piece of fabric on his hands, soaking it wet with his tears.

“Tom, hey!” He smiles surprised, quickly trying to dry his face with the back of his hand “What are you doing here?”

“I…” Tom starts and looks around confused “Is… Is that my shirt?” He frowns and Mark looks down to his lap

“The one you gave me that one christmas? Yeah it is” Mark nods

“Why?” 

“It still smells like you” Mark sighs, trying not too look at Tom, trying to not let him see his shame “Why are you here?”

Tom frowns to himself and thinks a little before saying anything. He places both hands into his jean’s pockets. “Matt and David slept with each other” He says quickly

Mark laughs “What?”

“Yeah, hm” Tom scratches the back of his neck awkwardly “David just called me and… And Hank dropped me here to give you the good news”

Mark frowns, cleaning away the tears on his face “That’s why you’re here?”

“Hank is just nuts I guess” Tom shrugs and Mark nods, bringing his knees down and his finger tracing the contour of his tattoo. Tom sighs, “Why are you crying?” He asks and Mark sniffs, still not looking at him

“I have no idea” Mark shakes his head “I… I don’t think I wanna leave” He says quietly and Tom can feel his face splitting in two from smiling so hard

"You what?” He asks and Mark looks up at him

“Going to London seems like such a good idea” Mark chuckles a bit sadly, shaking his head “But the truth is I am insanely scared I will be alone there, because… Because that is definetly _not_ what I want”

“Mark, you are going to meet new people there...” Tom explains to him while sitting by his side, he has a smile on his lips, but he has pity in his eyes and in his voice

“How am I going to make new friends if I can’t even hold on to the ones I have now?” Mark asks him, looking into Tom’s eyes “But I… I do not want to go back home, Tom. I… I can’t go back to San Diego…” Mark tells him, looking down at his hands again “I don’t want to go back to San Diego; I don’t want to move to London, I… I have no fucking clue of what I want…” He shakes his head, another tear escapes his eye and he quickly cleans it. He is definetly not crying anymore, but emotions still wash by pretty quickly

Tom sighs and moves to caress his hair “I think you should move in” Tom whispers and Mark looks at him, his eyes still full of tears

“You what?”

“Move in into the guest room, Mark” Tom tells him “I mean, my guest room… Here in Sydney… Move in, and… We’ll figure things out eventually, you know...” He nods “If you like it, you like it, and if you don’t, then you can leave… But at least we'll know we've tried it...”

“I…” Mark smiles as he sits up straight again “I have to go back and spend the rest of the summer with my family, Tom, I can’t just…”

Tom sighs, he knows now what he has to do, he cannot let this go so easily, he cannot let another chapter in his and Mark’s life go by without them doing anything about it. Tom knows he cannot win Mark with kisses or sex; he did not win Mark before with pretty words.

However, he can try with possibilities. 

“Mark” Tom interrupts him “Have you realized that whenever I let you go is actually because I care so much about you that I don’t want to feel like a roadblock to you. I don’t want you to think I never wanted you when in reality you are everything I want, Mark”

“Tom, I…” Mark sighs 

“No, I… I do not want to get into the romantics of it, I can't do that because by its core, that's not what I'm here for...” Tom goes on “I know what you have been through recently and I know how selfish of me it would be to ask so much of you at a time like this” He explains shaking his head “But… You have me, Mark! You have _always_ had me, regardless of how it was, and I don’t want to lose you again... I mean, we spent almost an entire year without talking to each other and it nearly killed me. it killed me, Mark... Imagine me spending five years without talking to you or looking at you? That would bring me my death, Mark. You don’t even understand”

Mark blinks and another tear pours into his cheek, Tom again reaches out to clean it, now feeling some of his own on his eyes.

“I am crazy about you, Mark. It pains me every time I think of why we’re not together, I cannot do this anymore. I mean, this is crazy!” Tom gestures “This is insane, I… I have no idea why we are doing this, why we've been doing this come and go game all these years. I’m tired of making excuses to not be with you when I want you more than anything!”

Tom cleans his own tear that has now spilled into his cheek “Please move in” Tom says “Please”

“Tom, I… I am crazy about you too,” He says and shakes his head. Mark lunges onto Tom and buries his face onto Tom’s chest, soaking his shirt wet “I want to say yes so bad, Tom. So bad”

Tom takes a deep breath; he feels a knife plunging into his chest “But…” He starts and Mark looks up at him, now placing both hands on his shoulders.

Mark shakes his head, now looking into Tom’s eyes “There is no but” Mark tells him and Tom smiles “I just do, I know I do”

Tom laughs and shakes his head “Are you saying yes?”

Mark smiles and takes a deep breath; he looks into Tom’s eyes and does not flinch when he nods at his best friend.

“Yes, I am”


End file.
